Walter's Movie Reviews

The HOBBIT AN UNEXPECTED DELIGHT!

2012-12-15T07:57:00.001-08:00

It's been a while. . . . .. but sometimes you see a film that spurs you into writing again.

The Hobbit did just that for our man in the balcony Mark Tygart. What follows is his review of the The Hobbit.

Enjoy -

I wobbled into the theater secretly expecting the worst, nursing a head cold with the voice of Jar Jar Binks echoing in my head “Meeso happy to have a hobbit film that will make my trilogy look good’”. I had heard all about the labor disputes, animal deaths, slow first act and the sudden expansion to a trilogy designed simply to boost Warner Brothers stock. I had heard all about Jackson’s ugly new 3d process. I sat down sick with despair, hoping against hope, but expecting a turgid mess. I heard the cheers of that those who would force my beloved genre films off the screen and return us stories about lovelorn accountants dating badly in Buffalo.

To my surprise this didn’t happen.

I found myself back in Middle earth again. I found a my first real novel bought to stunning life as dwarves, dragons, wizards and warriors confronted each other across the stunning New Zealand landscape and gave me a dollop of Jackson’s Tolkien magic.

Yes the small faults that some critics harp so endlessly about are there if you look hard enough. The biggest fault for many is that isn’t a film trilogy based on the Lord of the Rings but a film trilogy based on The Hobbit. The Hobbit has great stuff in it, it is an adventure family classic, but it is not the epic fantasy Lord of the Rings. One reviewer complained about a bunch of stone giants that show up at one point, without explanation, to bash each other to death. He assumed this was a pointless Jackson addition.

The reviewer had obviously never the book. The stone giants are in there, I promise. In the Lord of the Rings they would have had an appendix chapter and footnotes.

This story has Tolkien is trying out themes and ideas that would flower in the Rings trilogy. Still who wouldn’t want to see Gollum’s riddle game with Bilbo or Bilbo’s riddle game with Smug? This story has its own charms and deserves to seen on its own Harry Potter terms. So go see it.

Any trip back to Middle Earth is a trip worth making. It may not be the Rings trilogy but it isn’t the letdown that was Star Wars prequels either. It is, like its hero Bilbo Baggins, an unexpected holiday treat. I look forward to further adventures.

Go see it !

Mark Tygart

Contagion - One word Review - David Schniepp

2011-09-09T07:43:00.000-07:00

I was lucky enough to see an early screening of this film via the Orange County film Society , http://www.orangecountyfilmsociety.com/ Thanks again to them !

One word best describes this film - BORING!

There are just too many subplots and big stars vying for their screen time, non of which are paid off. Disaster films follow a certain formula. This one tried to follow the "formula" but somewhere along the way someone took out, put in, rearranged the ingredients to come up with this slug. Yeah, I thought it stunk. I started goofing off on Facebook one hour in. I could swear the guy in front of me was asleep!

Spoiler Alert:

Cheating wives, (Gweneth Paltrow), die first and get scalped in a ho hum shock value autopsy scene. Take that ! You cheater! You have super hot loving father Matt Damon at home! . .. . .. . . For the record they do kill off her kid too, his stepson. Miracle upon miracles Matt is immune , sweet, but nothing is done with it, you could care less about the characters. There are a bunch of other big name stars, Morpheus, Dr Watson, the fat chick from Titanic etc. . . . .

Review by the our man on an island David Schniepp

CONAN THE BARBARIAN: Hollywood tries to turn Two Gun Bob’s Hero into Bilbo Baggins - By Mark Tygart

2011-09-05T18:33:00.000-07:00

I went to see the recent Conan the Barbarian remake with low expectations, very low expectations indeed. Neither critics nor audiences have been willing to give this Bulgarian shot, CGI enhanced, Jason Momoa epic much of a shot.

Audiences and critics are right.

This movie is an interesting failure. It doesn’t understand its own subgenre. It doesn’t get what made the original Conan the Barbarian great.

I’ve always loved the John Milius original Conan the Barbarian. It was a great B film in the best sense. John Milius made a great Sword & Sorcery (S&S) movie called Conan the Barbarian despite the limitations of budget, cast and special effects limitations of the period. What young guy growing up in the 80s didn’t thrill to the “riddle of steel” or “the Arnold” that Milius (and Oliver Stone) provided in his minor masterpiece.

Milius movie wasn’t Howard but it was in the genre of Sword & Sorcery fantasy that he had created. This Conan remake wasn’t even that. It is an unholy hybrid. It was like watching the Ewoks show up in the third Star Wars movie all over again.

Conan’s village looks like Hobbiton; it recreates Jackson’s shot almost exactly. It adds a “magic evil mask” that is going to be used to bring back an evil necromancer to rule the world. The villain is actually a Dennis Thatcher of evil; the necromancer witch’s grieving husband. Instead of grief counseling he kills people and considers incest with his creepy daughter.

The movie’s final battle takes place in the Mines of Moria, oops I mean Skull Cave. And Conan fights an octopus creature like the one in Fellowships of the Rings. I mean ripping off Tolkien is fine, but it isn’t Conan.

Oh yes we have boobs and graphic violence to prove to us this really is S&W. As if that was enough.

In S&W the hero isn’t trying to save the world; he’s trying to survive in a fallen one. Its film noir meets fantasy; its fantasy as a Western. It’s very American and can be wonderful but what it isn’t Lord of the Rings. The morality (or lack of it) is the same of the Game of Thrones; but in general the World is already lost. The hero kills the dragon to get the treasure not save the villagers. Saving Civilization isn’t the point; adventure with your friends is the mission. Conan is closer to Han Solo than Luke Skywalker or Indiana Jones than Aragorn.

Peter Jackson really got the Lord of the Rings; that is what made his movies great. This Conan misses what Milius knew, that makes it second rate. It is more like a remake of Conan the Destroyer than Conan the Barbarian. Wait for video.

Review by :
Our Man in the Balcony Mark Tygart

Compare this picture to the top movie poster:

"Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandalled feet."
— Robert E. Howard, The Phoenix on the Sword, 1932.
Illustration by Mark Schultz.

I put that quote for those of you who have not read any Robert E. Howard.

Nope no review from me this time , Mark gave me the heads up . . . . the new Conan Stunk! It always makes me sad when a film maker has such great source material to work from then screws it up so badly.

That's it , read the books ( short stories) and revel in the Schwarzenegger version and be happy :)

Man on an island David Schniepp

WARRIOR

2011-08-31T20:46:00.000-07:00

I was lucky enough to see this movie at an early screening courtesy of the Orange County Film Society.

Let me start off by saying I was not that excited about seeing this film, I was asked to go to fill a seat, make it look good to the studio people. After spending 25 plus years in the martial arts I am super critical of martial arts movies and hyper sensitive to the cheese factor typically associated with "Karate type" movies, thankfully this movie contains non of that. Previous to the screening one of the Lionsgate marketing people told me in confidence that she loved this film. . . . . I thought she was trying to fluff up a looser of a film. Well, she nailed it, I enjoyed this film immensely. My buddy sitting next to me "claims" he was brought to tears on four separate occasions, no he wasn't wearing a Skirt. The director did an excellent job , felt like I was riding a roller coaster. The acting was top notched, the two top stars are Foriegners playing American fighters, it works. Nick Nolte held his own too. This movie is destined to be a great one , great enough for Oscar?? We will see. . . . .but I'm guessing yes. I have to admit I was apprehensive about seeing this due to the MMA component, thought it was Rocky redone with MMA instead of boxing, couldn't have been more wrong! There was a wide cross section of the Orange County scene,in the audience, they were all buzzing about this film at the curtain.

DO YOURSELF A FAVOR SEE THIS FILM!

Review By:
Our man on an island David Schniepp

MARK'S TAKE:

Warrior: The Fight Movie that wants to be an Art Film

This review is spoiler heavy. Be warned…

The Orange County Film Society was kind enough to invite me to a preview screening of Warrior, a mixed martial arts fight movie that the studio is prepping for an Oscar campaign. I offer the following insider scoop.

The performances are phenomenal, although I keep confusing talented Aussie Joel Edgerton with the guy from Avatar. Hollywood is simply overrun currently with leading men following in Russell Crowe’s footsteps. The plot is pure pulp as the hero is not only forced to fight not only a soulless Russian Leviathan, wait for it, but also his own estranged brother. This being Great Recession America, if the poor guy doesn’t beat everyone in his gene pool to a pulp, he will lose his house and Jennifer Morrison from House. His recovering alcoholic father is helping his bitter war hero/ deserter brother who wants to give the prize money to his dead marine best friend’s wife and massacre his sibling. Of course the tournament is winner take all so the losing brother will get nothing, except perhaps a sequel.

This makes the film sound horrible, it is not. The whole thing is so effectively shot, the fight scenes so riveting, everything so professional and well done that this Kane and Abel story induced a testerone high from which I am yet to recover. Even Nick Nolte’s performance as a recovering drunk is nicely understated. I half expected Gary Busey to walk in and play a warm and humorous shrink to be followed by a restrained Randy Quaid as a tough love Catholic priest.

All of this is simply a cinematic delivery mechanism for the fight scenes which are great and brutal. Much like the last few Star Wars films have been fluff interspaced by cool light saber duels this is the true reason for the film. The fight scenes in Warrior rock and rock hard. I saw it with some martial artists who are the real deal and they gave the film’s fights sparse, quiet and meaningful praise. These are men who could snap me like a twig. The nice thing is that Warrior has proved being snapped like a twig is great therapy.

While I doubt it will be my Oscar choice, I still want to punch a close relative due to this film’s influence. Thankfully the holidays approach…

Our man the Balcony Mark Tygart

The Debt - Best Feet in the Stirrups scene Ever!

2011-08-31T20:07:00.000-07:00

The Debt: Some Israeli Spies played by the Royal Shakespearean Company come in from the Cold

I saw the Debt in a preview screening last night and found the chill winds of Oscar season blowing through my carefree August. You know a film is serious in American cinema when killing Nazis becomes a morally ambiguously process.

This is a movie that overall harkens back in style to the great paranoid 70s spy thrillers, which always included a love affair among righteous heroes in a compromised world.

As a thriller it is superb movie, a crackling tale of a Mossad team of three operatives plans to kidnap a Nazi war criminal in 1960s East Berlin.

As a drama the excellent acting keeps us from questioning the existence of a somewhat contrived romantic triangle among our heroes. This screenwriting desire for soap opera explains why only three agents are sent and the justification for the bizarre dispatching of the wonderful “young Helen Mirren” character on this very difficult assignment as her very first field mission. Somehow I tend to think the Mossad was more discriminating when kidnapping Nazis; certainly Eichmann never complained about such hanky panky before his show trial and hanging.

As a moral parable I find the film questionable. Since it has a Holocaust theme and great BBC actors I think of possible Oscar statutes, but I find the piece oddly naïve for a movie about espionage. This is a movie about spies who need to learn that honesty is the best policy. I kept thinking many of these characters had to be more pragmatic to simply be creditable, but the film profoundly disagreed with me. In fact, this movie firmly believes in the CIA motto.

The CIA motto is simply bizarre. The motto is John 8:32: "...Ye shall know the truth and it shall set you free." Am I the only person who finds this deeply ironic? The Debt doesn’t.

After Operation Paper Clip, Klaus Barbie and von Braun’s NASA recruitment you would think an Israeli inspired project would be little more skeptical of Langley Bible quotes.

I guess looking at the brutal cost that Israel has had to be pay for its survival was beyond the easier moral certitudes of good thriller about hunting a Nazi. In the end I do think Helen Mirren’s character represents a moral justification for both that brutality and the national mythology that cloaks it. That justification is the Holocaust. A lot of your feelings about the film may hinge on whether you agree.

Otherwise it is excellent and fucking depressing film.

Go see it and make up your own mind.

P.S. The unofficial “Company” slogan is the far better: "In God we trust, in all others we monitor."

Review by our man in the balcony - Mark Tygart

The Help - A commedy?

2011-08-31T20:03:00.000-07:00

The Help: A Comedy Disguised as a PBS Special

I went to see “The Help” because my Mom wanted to go. She is in her seventies, confined to a wheelchair or walker most of the time, and wants to see a film in a theater two or three times a year. When she makes the decision to see something I just take her, no argument. I had to drag her to see “Midnight in Paris”, which she loved, as I knew she would. She really wanted to see “The Help”; Oprah had recommended it, the ultimate seal of approval. I like movies about swordfights, gangsters and spaceships, but when she wants to see something I just take her. I expected to hate “The Help”, but I actually sort of like it. It is “helpful “that the film is a comedy in disguised as American Masterpiece Theater...

I can understand why audiences raised on the Jim Carrey and fart jokes might not see it that way. The Help is a highbrow comedy of manners. It has some sophistication in its humor if not in its ideology. It about how a group of African American maids gang up to tell their story of grinding exploitation and petty abuse by a group of lazy, bitchy Southern housewives. Sound like fun?

Actually it is. Martin Luther said the best thing you could do to the Devil is laugh at him. The housewives are marvelous parodies of Southern belles. The maids and their white inevitable white helper manage some vindication. A better America is the long term result along with female empowerment and a grinding economic future where we will all be treated as Jim Crow black maids by our eventual Chinese overlords. Really do we need another film saying racism is wrong? At least in Obama’s America it can be the subject of some comedy.

This is a film that I would wait for on video, unless you need something for date night that is high on estrogen. It is small screen friendly, but worth the price of admission. My Mom loved it.

Review By Mark Tygart our Elder care specialist movie reviewer moonlighter

The Rise of the Planet of the Apes - Or better titled Escape of the Apes

2011-08-31T19:58:00.000-07:00

Mark's Review:

The Escape of the Apes: The Prison Heist Movie Goes Sci-Fi

Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a clever film that understands that underneath all of its CGI wonder and Rod Serling heritage it is a prison heist film and a good one. Director Ruprett Wyatt, previously noted for the wonderful Brit prison heist film “the Escapist”, must have seen what the dozens of other Hollywood A-list directors missed when they passed on this project: it’s a great thriller. Like the original Planet of the Apes the allegory merely gilds the lily of a crackling good yarn. However, this isn’t suggested that the film shortchanges ape film fans by forgoing shout outs to the series cinematic history: its chock full of them. It’s that just like the excellent CGI and nicely understated performances you may not notice while rooting for Caesar and his ape friends to flee for the redwoods before the greedy humans stumble their way into a global apocalypse.

These include:

The leader of the ape rebellion, Caesar (Andy Serkis) shares his name with the similar character, played by Roddy McDowell, from "Conquest of" and "Battle for the Planet of the Apes."

Charlton Heston makes a brief cameo, on a television screen at the ape sanctuary.

Caesar strikes up a friendship with an orangutan named Maurice -- an homage to actor Maurice Evans, who played the evil orangutan Dr. Zaius in the first "Planet of the Apes."

James Franco's Will Rodman takes his name from "Twilight Zone" creator and "Planet of the Apes" co-screenwriter Rod Serling, whose full first name was Rodman.

The media makes several background references to a spaceship named Icarus. A news report announces "Icarus Entering Mars Atmosphere" and a few scenes later, a copy of the San Francisco Chronicle reports that the same vessel was "Lost in Space." In the '68 "Apes," the Icarus is the ship that Taylor, Landon, and Dodge take to the year 3978; two movies later it's also the ship Cornelius, Zira (Kim Hunter), and Milo (Sal Mineo) take back to 1973.

Definitely not to be missed, I urge everyone to see this before we are all replaced by orangutans.

Review by our roving reporter Mark Tygart

Cowboys and Aliens - Review By Mark -

2011-08-31T19:55:00.000-07:00

Cowboys and Aliens: The Good, the Bad and the Weird

(With apologies to Sergio Leone)

I decided to write a review of a Hollywood blockbuster that I found myself liking both drunk and sober only to find that I had been hijacked by the smurfs. Yes those annoying little blue things that should have been fed to Barney the dinosaur years ago have escaped children’s television to haunt the local multiplex. This has dominated the press coverage for the poor film that linked with Hollywood’s eternal joy in somebody else’s failure seems to obscure the fact that this is a pretty decent popcorn flick, in fact a gift.

I like the film for several reasons. I liked that it was 2D. I liked Harrison Ford as a grumpy cattle baron reminding us all he can act. I liked Daniel Craig kicking ass in the Old West. I liked imaging Oliva Wilde if this had been a Showtime miniseries with actual nudity. I should stop here.

I liked the fact that it was a Western with aliens. A real large budgeted western with a decent budget A -list stars, expensive production values and script without a smurf in sight. Just aliens from ID4 that have managed to escape an Xbox 360 somewhere to menace our heroes. We have finally arrived at the weird west, that most difficult of subgenres and it works. This film works because it is a part of that cinematic tradition of classic tropes and big skies to watch on the silver screen instead of an iPod.

It’s also a Science Fiction film about 30% of the time, but frankly outside of Daniel Craig’s cool arm gun (what I would have given to have that when I was twelve) this science fiction Alien homage (I’ll be kind) is less interesting than the Western. This is a film that loves its heroes and the villains are simply monster who want ….gold. Harrison Ford’s line when he finds this out is priceless. Of course this would be ridiculous until you stop to consider how much the history of the Americas has been shaped by monsters who want…gold.

It’s not a history lesson or anything really deep, it just an entertainment that wants to propose that human beings are pretty much alike and pretty decent when not being crushed by the economics of a intergalactic mining consortium. Go see it, its fun.

Review By our man in the field , Mark Tygart

THE KING'S SPEECH

2010-12-16T12:54:00.000-08:00

Saw an early screening of this movie thanks to the OC Film Society. GREAT FILM!

Let me be perfectly clear this is a GREAT FILM.

See it you will not be disappointed.

Was lucky enough to be involved in a question and answer session with the screenwriter. His story of how the "story" came about was fascinating and inspiring. Gives one hope the Hollywood system, does work.

SEE IT!

SEE IT!

SEE IT!

Yogi Bear Great kids Fare

2010-12-16T12:50:00.000-08:00

Saw an early screening of this movie thanks to the OC Film Society. Fun Kids Movie.

Guess what its in 3D!

This movie holds a special significance for me, my ten year old son wanted to sit with his friends and not me :( and to top it off one of them was female. Hate when they grow up -

The movie itself was fun, good kids movie. They did some of the standard 3D special effects.

Loved seeing how much fun all the kids were having in the audience. My Four year old nephew had a super time.

If you have kids this movie is worth it, no kids - pass

TRUE GRIT - COEN VERSION

2010-12-16T12:44:00.000-08:00

Saw an early screening of this movie thanks to the OC Film Society. To say this is a remake does not do this film any justice . The Coen's nailed this movie, sure I am a Coen fan, but they nailed it with this movie.

Mattie was perfectly cast.

Jeff Bridges Narrowly edges out John Wayne as Rooster, that's a huge complement from me, I love the Duke. Bridges Is great in this role, hope to see him in more of the same.

I liked this movie so much I am planning to head back out and see it hen it opens.

The scenes were set up brilliantly, lots of eye candy.

Dialogue sharp and witty. Made you feel like you were in that time.

I almost shed a tear at the end.

The original movie John Wayne won his Oscar . I never understood the casting of Glen Campbell but hey it was still good. Matt Damon was and is a better choice.

See it - money well spent -

Cheers

The Fighter

2010-12-16T12:36:00.000-08:00

Saw this movie at early screening courtesy of the OC Film Society. I went in not knowing what to expect, well that's not exactly true , I didnt want to like this movie. I guess I felt it was a Rocky rip off.

I was Wrong.

This Movie was borderline great. Mark Walberg turned in an excellent performance, in fact you almost didn't even notice how good a performance it was due to Christian Bale. Bale was down right awesome in his role. He played a perfect crack addict and should win the oscar/golden globe for best supporting actor.

See this movie.

Nuff said!

Greatest Fight Scenes Ever

2010-06-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

Fun, Fun, fun -

What better than a great fight scene!

Nothing in a film is more satisfying than a fight, especially one where a bully or a bad guy gets the snot kicked out of them. Toss in an underdog or an element of revenge and you have the recipe for a great fight scene! To me, a fight scene is an art form unto itself, and plays with structure meaning there is a beginning, middle, end, toss in some realistic moves, good stunt work, and BAM you have a great scene.

This list is about the Scenes, most are great films too, if you have not caught one of these films you should!

Here you go

10. Kung Fu Hustle 2004 - Sing Vs. The Beast - The Iron Palm. This movie has a lot of great fight scenes in it. They play like a great ballet. The final fight between Sing and the Beast, excellent. What like about the fight, besides the great action, is the way it ended , with Sing offering to teach the Beast and the Beast breaking into tears knowing he is facing his new master.

9. The Warriors 1979 - Warriors Vs. the Baseball Furies - "Warriors come out and play" This scene makes it do to sheer guts of the warriors, baseball furies have bats and the Warriors have only their fists. This movie has many a great fight scene. Being based on what some consider one of the greatest adventures in human history , Anabasis by Xenophon, this movie lives up to it's Greek roots.

8. Raiders of the Lost Ark 1981 - Indiana Jones Vs. The Bald Nazi - This scene almost did not make it. The scene that almost beat it out was the sword fighter vs. Indy , where Indy just shoots him. This scene has a great villain, a bald Nazi, and an awesome ending !

7. The Karate Kid 1984 - Daniel son Vs. Cobra Kai - Sweep the Leg Jonny - Miagi Fix - Say what you will about this movie, that final fight is a great scene. Has all the great elements, underdog, bully, great bad guy - an awesome comeback, The girl , Same Director as Rocky . . . . . . .

6. Rocky 1979 - Rocky Vs. Apollo Creed - There aint gonna be no rematch - The underdog defined - Come on Rocky works out in a meat locker. Love it when Apollo's manager watches Rocky working out on the TV and you can hear the ribs in the slab of beef breaking. Seems fitting one of the better movies of all time makes the great fight list.

5. Gross Pointe Blank 1997 - John Cussak Vs. Benny the Jet - This has some classic fight elements to it - The fight starts at long range, meaning kicks, moves to mid range, hands and then finishes with ground. Cool fight, I liked the movie too, dont think I would have liked it as much without the fight though.

4. From Russia with Love 1963 - Sean Connery Vs. Robert Shaw - Set a fight up on a train in tight quarters. . .. .simply genius. Love it when Bond gets a chance to show off his hand to hand skills. This is one of my favorite Bond films.

3. The Matrix 1999 - Neo Vs. Agent Smith - Mr. Anderson - Great adversary and a chosen one, love that set up - When Neo figures out that he can kick the Agents A$$, great payoff scene . . . Loved the film! Too bad the sequels sucked . . ..

2. Kill Bill Vol. 1 2003 - The Bride Vs. The Crazy 88 and Oren Ishi - Revenge! my favorite motivator in film - limb hacking, blood squirting action. There is some great swordplay here - What is better than two chicks fighting? Tarrantino set this scene up beautifully.

1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail 1975 - King Arthur Vs. The Black Knight - Tis but a flesh wound - All of the fights on this list fought to be number one , but any fight where I can use the dialogue in ever day life deserves the number one spot. I seriously use the flesh wound line weekly. Lets call it a draw!

There they are -

There are more that maybe could change places with a few on the list . . .. .

Here are the also rans:

The Quiet Man - John Wayne Vs. Victor McLaughlin

The Princess Bride - Indigo Montoyas Vs. The Man in Black

Enter the Dragon - Bruce Lee Vs. Anybody :) he kicks A$$

They Live - Rowdy Roddy Piper in the Alley Scene

Predator - Arnold Vs. The Predator -

Empire Strikes Back - Luke Vs. Vader

Yojimbo - Sanjuro Vs. Unosuke

Lethal Weapon - Riggs Vs. Joshua

Evil Dead 2 - Bruce Campbell Vs. his own right hand

Robin Hood 1938 -Robin Hood Vs. Sir Guy of Guisbourne

That's it -

Cheers

Walt

Top Ten Horror Movies of All Time -

2010-06-21T19:37:00.000-07:00

Here's my top ten Horror flicks -

Let me take a stab at it!

Some of these still creep me out-

10. Matango (1963) Shipwrecked survivors slowly transform into mushrooms. Spoiler alert, the final scene in the hospital where our "survivor" roles over and we see his infected face! That got me one fine Saturday afternoon watching Monster Theater!

9. Let The Right One In (2008) Swedish film, "Lat Den Ratte Komma In" Have to include a vampire Flick! The lead vampire is sooo much better than the 'emotional' vampires from Twilight and True Blood. She does what vampires do best, leave a bloody trail of victims!

8. Motel Hell (1980) Good Old farmer Vincent and his sister Ida. Best tasting meat products in the country! Oh and the traps - Gurgling heads buried neck deep, creep me out as I type . . . . .

7. The Omen (1976) Have to include a Dick Donner Directed movie! Love the Biblical end of times Christianity themes. Can not believe anyone would name their kid Damien after seeing this movie. South Park did a great parody.

6. The Shinning (1977) Toss in Jack and Shelly Duvall (she is scary looking on here own) mix with a little Kubrick and you have a classic horror movie. Come on, a hotel built on an Indian burial ground? Of course terrible things are going to happen :) all work and no play . . . . . . . . .

5.Dawn of the Dead (1978) Have to include a Zombie flick .. especially one directed by George A. Romero. The blood and gore are fantastic in this movie. The dead reanimated. . . no one knows the cause . .. recipe for a delicious movie.

4. The Thing (1982) Kurt Russell, John Carpenter combo made for a much underrated movie. Isolated in the Antarctic wilderness sets up the perfect grounds for a shape shifting parasitic extra terrestrial monster. Paranoia . . who can you trust?

3. The Exorcist (1973) This film won two Oscars . . need I say more. Does your head spin around? Made me want to carry a crucifix and bible in my car. Have run into the child star, now much older, at many a Comic Con.

2. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) Wes Craven , say no more you know its good. I snuck into the Mesa theater to see this film, so glad I did! My arm had bruises from my date (who also snuck in), she did not let go the entire film. Freddy Krueger, a great character, tends to make the rounds (drinking) daily in Laguna Beach.

1. Alien (1979) "No one Can Hear you Scream in Space" One of my favorite directors, Ridley Scott, gave us this gem. Never look at a synthoid the same way again. An awesome Dinner scene!

There are more that almost made the list, I took time to think about each one and really think they deserve their spot.

But, that said, here are the also rans . . the ones that almost made it to the top ten: Halloween, Psycho, Carrie, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Night of the Living Dead, Dracula (1931), Hellraiser, Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956), Poltergeist, The Silence of the Lambs, Jaws

I love "top ten" lists
Reason?
Gives me ideas on what to see, I love film and if one shows up on a top ten that I haven't seen -I know it is time to go see a movie!

The films above are all solid pictures if you have somehow missed one , put it one your list of movies to see!

Cheers

Walt

Terrible Movies - True Stinkers - Time wasters - My Top Ten Bad Movies

2010-06-16T08:06:00.000-07:00

This list was harder to come up with than the top Ten Best movies, because of the simple fact, there are sooo many bad ones out there to choose from!

These have come under careful scrutiny - Did I fall asleep in the theater? - Wish I had my money back? -Was I sick to my stomach? - Did I leave the theater pissed off? - Even my nine year old thinks it sucks!

Here you go the movies that sucked big time:

10. Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band How can you screw up a great albuum? Turn it into a musical. Nuff Said -

9. Grease 2 I can admit it . . . I saw it in the theater. . . . wish I didn't

8. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians I tried to like it I really did. Mystery Science 3000 did great things with this film, but it still did not help it get off the list.

7. Escape From LA One of my guilty pleasure is Escape From New York, a great film. I sooo looked forward to this film, IT SUCKED, surfing what the???

6. Batman & Robin My buddy turned to me as we were walking out . . said that was awesome . . it was then I knew he was really, really stoned. Batgirl had a mustache! Even Arnold could not save this flick.

5. Howard the Duck Being a huge comic fan I had huge expectations for this flick. It opened at the Lido, had a great seat in the balcony, all I can remember is the vicious shaking I got and these immortal words "get out, you can't sleep here" I still had a full bucket of popcorn on my lap . . .

4. Thin Red Line How can you screw up a war movie, with a great cast? Turn it into the Thin Red Lin. The second movie I have slept through. I re-watched this movie thinking I might have missed something due to my sleeping . . but no . . it still stunk . . made me mad I paid for it twice . . un-watchable. . .. I'm still bitter.

3. Star Wars The Phantom Menace Saw this opening night Edwards Big Newport, no I did not sleep through it, I only wish I had, it was horrible. Did the same director/writer who gave us Star Wars, give us this?? This movie made me sick - Jar Jar Binks???? Kill off the coolest character in a long time??Even my nine year old thinks this movie stinks.

2. Star Wars Attack of the Clones Some of the worst acting ever. This movie did however have a great scene in it, in fact it almost did not make my list because of it, yes the Yoda fight - that was cool - Not enough though -

1. Battlefield Earth The book was great. The movie sucked. So bad - beyond the place where a bad movie can become good, this movie should go away.

That's it -

A collection of terrible movies, don't believe me ? Go ahead see them if your brave enough.

Cheers

Walt

Toy Story and Toy Story 2

2010-06-13T07:02:00.000-07:00

My son and I finished the Toy Story marathon this weekend

Talk about watch-ability!

Toy Story and Toy Story 2 are a cut above the rest -

What a perfect cast -

With kids you will watch certain movies over and over again, we have seen both Toy Story and Toy Story 2 many times.

The Toy Story trilogy is a perfect example of one you will watch over and over again. I am smiling as I type. Pixar nailed the buddy pick. Which begs the question why can't anybody else?? Talented guys over at Pixar.

Buzz is my favorite character, he is cool and funny. Tim Allen plays Buzz to perfection - Tom Hanks as Woody is no slouch ( I have been a Tom Hanks fan since Bussom Buddies )

This movie works on many levels - The evil toy destroying kid next door - to the Christmas present - To Zurg - the Andy relationship with his toys -

Part two is as good or better than the first, the Chicken Man - Newman!

Part two reminds me that sequels can be good , think Terminator II, Aliens, Wrath of Kahn, Godfather 2, Empire Strikes back.

I love seeing a good sequel.

Make sure you watch the credits at the end some funny stuff in the side bar.

Both Toy Story and Toy Story Two get my highest Rating

Short and sweet review

Cheers

Dave

My Top Ten Movie List of all Time

2010-06-11T22:59:00.000-07:00

Here they are my top ten -

Tough to pick only ten, many factors went into these picks.
Factors including, awesomeness - shots - dialogue -action - great story telling - characters - watch ability ( can you see it over and over and over and still like it )

Now you know my scientific criteria - with out further ado here they are -

10 - The Incredibles - this movie is totally wicked - one of the best action films of all time - nice of you to drop by Do yourself a favor if you have never seen it, or thought it was only a kids movie buy it, see it -

9 - Good Fellas - Great flick - Has one of my all time favorite shots - Panning down the bar and introducing each guy - also solidified Joe Pesci as a "Funny Guy"

8 - The Princess Bride - Any Movie with Andre the Giant deserves a spot in the top ten- So many Great Lines . . . . My name is . . . and I'm going to kill you - By any chance do you have six fingers?

7 - Stagecoach - A list without a John Wayne/John Ford Movie is not a list - let alone a list without a western. " You may need me and this Winchester, Curly. Saw a ranch house burnin' last night" - Great Line

6- Animal House - First time I saw this movie I could not stop laughing . . . .of course I was 12yrs old . . it still makes me laugh - Double secret probation - The principal at my high school used that one me!

5 - Caddyshack - I get a call from a buddy anywhere in the world, when this movie is on - What a great film - made me want to take up golf - I use lines from this film everyday life - looks good on you though

4 - Star Wars - One of the films that defined my early life - When I really want to show my geek side I can quote most of the movie from start to finish - First appearance of Darth Vader, boy that was a great movie moment - Ben's house " your father wanted you to have this" - Vader's Force choke " I find your lack of faith disturbing" I could go on and on -

3 - Jaws - It is what you don't see that makes this film great - The sound track for the shark plays in my head daily - As well as the Line " We're gonna need a bigger boat"

2 - The GodFather 1&2- Yes, a tie part one and part two - This movie is so good it gets quoted in other movies . "Take the cannoli leave the gun" - One of my favorite scenes, The doorway as Micheal's wife leaves and Tom walks in and the door closes . .man what a superb moment -

1 - Casablanca - I have seen this movie hundreds of times, I still like it - I can remember my X wife asking me how I could watch a movie more then once and I replied you listen to songs over and over again right? That shut her up! So much of this movie has wound up in our culture - 'Ricks' - I'm a hopeless romantic at heart - This movie has it all -

I love this film

Some honorable mentions : The Bridge on the River Kwai - The Unforgiven - Spinal Tap - Airplane -Lawrence of Arabia - The Graduate -Shane- The Wild Bunch -Seven Samurai - The Magnificent Seven -Oliver -High Noon - My Darling Clementine -The Fugitive -Toy Story - The Usual Suspects - Rocky -Treasure of Sierra Madre - There are more for sure but those were close to the top ten!

Hope that gives some perspective on my tastes -

More reviews to follow

Cheers

Walt

The Year 1977 - Big Newport Theater - My Life Changes Forever

2010-06-11T16:12:00.000-07:00

No, I did not get laid -

Two words

STAR WARS

My uncle and Aunt were up from San Diego wanting to spend time with their nephews , decide to take us to the new movie opening at the Edwards Big Newport - Star Wars

Sitting in the theater , already a sci fi junkie at age ten, I was munching away at my bucket of popcorn, my uncle and Aunt made sure they filled us up on good American movie food!

It opens -

Unfucking believable is all I can say - I am getting the same chills as I write as I did when I was ten sitting in that theater. Note: ever since then I can only sit in the same section to the right mid way back in the Edwards Big Newport -

First the Credits with the symphony behind it - Awesome -
Leah's ship being pursued by the Imperial star cruiser , then overtaken - My mouth was wide open -

Don't think it closed until the final credits -

One way I can tell if a movie is good is the same way I can tell if a taco is good - I want more!

I wanted more -

Waited outside with lines wrapped around the building a few times - sitting in lawn chairs -

Saw it ten times in the theater -

Again back to the ambiance . . . sometimes it is the right place and the right time.

I have my uncle and aunt to thank for that experience . . . many comic cons later . . . . Thanks!

I'd write more . . .but if you haven't seen Star Wars . . something is wrong with you -

Cheers

Walt

C.H.U.D. Need I say More?

2010-06-11T15:51:00.000-07:00

Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller

After much thought and meditation I picked C.H.U.D. for my first review-

Released in 1984 it was a gem.

So underrated , some great performances -

Come on Homer Simpson is scared of them!

What made this a special movie for me was where I was when I saw it, sometimes it is about the ambiance.

The Year 1986- Summer - balmy 90 degrees in the shade

Surf Camp on Isle Natividad, a small island off the Baja Coast, served as my screening room.

The surf camp consisted of three small concrete buildings, with a small communal TV room in the middle , which also served as a bedroom. The TV was a small 26" color Sony with attached VCR - High tech for the time and super high tech for Baja. Complete the picture with scattered porns, mixed in with the classic film C.H.U.D. - The only music we had was a single Morrisey tape . . . I still can't listen to a Morrisey album.

Surfed out many beers into the late afternoon we decide to plug in C.H.U.D. -

My life changed forever

It is not that the movie was any great cinematic achievement -
Or the acting was Oscar quality -

You have to look at the movie as a whole, and in doing that - CHUD rules.

Yes I will say it again Chud rules.

The CHUD:

Monsters lurking beneath the streets; beings that were once human, but radioactive, chemical toxic waste has mutated them into hideous, flesh-eating creatures that prey on the homeless who live in the underground -

If you expect technical story/plot line breakdowns from my reviews better look elsewhere -
I hate the fluff that is thrown in with modern reviewers -

Movies are about having fun - I will not steer you wrong -

If a movie sucks it sucks - trust me ! It sucks

Well that is it for my first review

Welcome to my Blog - Thanks for stopping by !

Cheers

Walt