Wander Wonder Discover

Arrivée

2012-05-30T09:53:00.000-04:00

We arrived in Paris yesterday around 10:30 am, met my MIL and her friend at the airport and were driven to a small town outside of Paris called Orléans. The flight was smooth but exhausting as sleeping upright is never a skill I plan to be good at, neither my children. We were all walking zombies but managed to go to a nearby park, the same park Hubs use to play in as a child.

We will stay in this adorable apartment with balcony spaces on two sides for two weeks. We have eaten a French déjeuner with fromage, baguette, tomate and jambon, as well as a petit déjeuner with croissant, pain au chocolat, pain aux raisins, choupettes, and baguette. Are you salivating yet? I can't seem to stop!! We leave for a boat tour called Les Passeurs de Loire soon, so more pics are on their way!

Au revoir mes amis!
A demain!
xoxo

Weekending

2012-05-28T11:14:00.000-04:00

And what a full weekend it was... So full that I didn't start packing until last night. I didn't sleep very much, but I guess with 12 hours to go on the plane that won't matter...

This weekend was:
bike riding with friends to an annual festival,
performers lining the streets (including Bruiser here),
along with artisans, vendors,
kids' rides and of course festival food like kettle corn.
An impromptu bbq with friends at home,
and a birthday party to top it all off.

But the best part of this weekend was that it
did not end like it began.
I believe there is purpose to heartache and confusion,
and it's called faith and hope.
And even when direct answers are not found,
sometimes it's because
they aren't needed.

I also believe that we all want the same thing,
to be looked in the eye
and have our soul recognized,
through our human faults and shortcomings,
our fears and failures.
A wish that our truest selves
still shines brighter than any
dark storms that may distort our vision,

The weekend has come full circle
lined with a silent understanding,
and a promise for a different ending.
We have found goodness and
an olive branch,
peace and an easier ability
to exhale.
Somehow things always
end better when a little
faith is involved...

"I may not have gone where I intended to go,
but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”
~Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

Wishing you a beautiful week and I will see you soon on the other side of the Atlantic...

xoxo

Weekending...

Sometimes

2012-05-25T15:50:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, no matter how kind we are, or how open and communicative we believe ourselves to be, we come across people that have no desire to reciprocate.

I can honestly say that this has never happened to us as a family before, and I don't know how to deal with it. It's that part of me that wants everyone to get along like one big happy bunch. And at the core, it's that part of me that wants everyone to like me, like my husband, like my children. Sometimes, even with all the logic and rationale that I can muster to tell myself that it isn't us, that we have done our best to offer our unfettered selves without fear, regret or falsehood, I still hunt scrutinously for the remedy, the cure, and the magic to make it all better. Truthfully I want to be angry, I want to be spiteful, I want to be mean. Truthfully, I just want to know why.

Sometimes, the answers just aren't there. We have to understand that there is nothing we can do except to continue to be kind, open, patient, caring, and forgiving. There are things in this world that better deserve our attention than our bruised egos, things that we can be truly grateful, happy and enthusiastic about:

like the fact that there are pink peonies growing in my back yard
that we are leaving for France is 3 days,
that my children are officially out of school today
that I will have some time alone with my husband
that we are meeting new friends for drinks this evening
that I will get to finish my book on this trip
that I still believe that love and compassion is the best way

Cheers and have a great weekend

xo

Keeping it Real....

On my mind and in my days

2012-05-24T14:33:00.001-04:00

I share glimpses of what's been on my mind and in my days here...I celebrate the tiny gifts that arrive in the mail, the joy of trying new wines, the brilliant colors that drift in and out my daily periphery, the rock formations (The Royal Arch hike--the longest and best one yet), the views that you must be tired of seeing and reading about by now, the latest book that arrived in the mail that's inspired me to take my polaroids to France with me, regardless of how heavy they are, and the vintage blue underwood beauty that was waiting for me in a local paper shop...she actually types in cursive...

France is just around the corner my friends. I cannot wait to share it with you. I will pop in with pictures, maybe some words if there is time...

much love to you

xoxo

ps. Would you like a postcard from France? Please email me your address to wwdblog at gmail by Monday, May 28th, and I will be sure to send one to you!!

pss. I change the music in the sidebar every week so make sure you check it out, ya know...if you want to :)...

Work and play

2012-05-21T14:05:00.000-04:00

Work...Holding garage sales, as you probably know, is work. But a clean and organized garage that you can walk around in is certainly something worth working for. The garage sale, despite the cold, gray drizzly day, was a success, and not because we made a lot of money (HA-snort)!! But because at the end of the day, a nice (or crazy) lady said she would take all that was left for $100. Of course I considered that if I just spent a little more time, I could list all those things on Craig's List or Ebay myself. Instead, piece of mind and that cathartic feeling of unburdening ourselves in one fell swoop trumped those considerations and I tell ya---it felt so AWESOME!!

Play... An evening of wine and laughter at our neighbor's house left my cheek muscles sore. Then Sunday, a short drive up a hill to the National Center for Atmospheric Research (NCAR) where hiking trails zig-zag throughout, brought us an easy 2 mile hike and views like the one above. And the best way to end this weekend was 20 minutes of watching that gorgeous solar eclipse through our special glasses, did you see it too?

Hope yours was grand my friends....
xoxo

Weekending with Amanda

Lessons from a rose...

2012-05-18T22:15:00.000-04:00

Roses are blooming all around me. Our front walkway is lined with them--all red rose bushes except one. I have never had rose bushes before, so to watch and anticipate their beautiful, budding eruptions has brought me so much pleasure this spring.

The top rose was clipped by Hubs for me on Mother's day from our one white rose bush. I admit I was not happy at first. I could have loved it just the same in it's un-amputated state. Gracefully though, this rose has continued to bloom to it's full potential on my dining table. Seeing it's undisturbed resilience and eager persistence, despite it's destiny of impermanence, I am reminded of how magnificent we all can be. Impermanence is a gift, not a fate.

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
~ Steve Jobs

Hubs thought that quote was a bit morbid (see how talking about death scares us! love ya babe),
so I added this one:

"We are trying to find out if there is, or is not, a permanent state, not what we would like, but the actual fact, the truth of the matter. Everything about us, within as well as without -our relationships, our thoughts, our feelings- is impermanent, in a constant state of flux. Being aware of this, the mind craves permanency, a perpetual state of peace, of love, of goodness, a security that neither time nor events can destroy; therefore it creates the soul, the Atman, and the visions of a permanent paradise. But this permanency is born of impermanency, and so it has within it the seeds of the impermanent. There is only one fact: impermanence."
~J. Krishnamurti, The Book of Life

Keeping it real with Monica...

~Thorns~

Dogs walking me instead of me walking dogs

unexpected expenses

the reality of exchange rates and conversion fees from dollars to euros

The disappointing combination of dark chocolate and lavender---blecht..

problems with skype on my computer--aagggh!

the tiresome task of pricing, moving, organizing for the garage sale

posting late because of above said thorn...

~Roses~

Piece, Love, and Chocolate and all the other chocolates I tried!!

hiking, hiking, hiking

new friendships

this amazing documentary

the anticipated purging of "stuff" at tomorrow's garage sale!!

You, my magnificent friends

Enjoy your weekend in all its impermanence!!

xoxo

Thrifty Thursday

2012-05-17T09:41:00.000-04:00

Wood, hand-painted bowl from Mexico

Vintage, dark orange, metal, winding
alarm clock with a ticking that could charm the socks of anyone.
The alarm scared me out of my chair though.

The 1920's dresser I found on Craig's List, $25!!

Before facelift...

and after--Ta da!!!!

So in the past several weeks I have found some awesome thrifty deals, and I have found some hard-to-resist, not-so-thrifty deals. I'd like to think this is normal, balance is good right? The bowl and the dresser, super thrifty. The clock and refinishing the dresser, not thrifty. It always evens out in the end, yes?

Joining Lady Cordelia in Thrifty Thursday...

xoxo

Smiling and smitten

2012-05-16T12:11:00.000-04:00

Everyday I find new reasons to love where I live. I make mental notes to remind myself of what they are so that I can tell you, but of course when I sit down to write them, my mental notes are useless. The tiny details have spun into a flurry with all the other daily happenings that occupy my brain.

Luckily though, the things that I love recur on a daily basis, dancing, flaunting and flitting all around me, causing me to pinch myself so that I remember I am not visiting, this is really my home.

Friendship, kindness and an open door....

From the very first day we began unloading our things into this house that sits on a dead end street, that backs up to the community garden, that has a bike path that crosses our front door, we were welcomed with hellos from a family that lives across the street. Soon, within days actually, we met every single neighbor that I could see from my kitchen window. This may seem uneventful/normal for some, but for us, it never happened before. People here want to know you. They invite you to BBQs, bring you champagne, and begin to write down on pieces of paper all the things we must do in our new hometown.

See the biker?

Outside, outside, outside....

Everyone is outside all. the. time. In the morning, afternoon and evening they are running, biking, walking their dogs, tending their gardens, talking to neighbors, going and coming back to work on their bikes. And before I know it, I am riding my bike to the post office, to the market, and planning hiking dates with new friends.

Kids everywhere...

Yesterday, as I sat on my front stoop, I watched my son play soccer, ~~try to~~ juggle and ride his bike with 3 other boys in the neighborhood. My daughter was upstairs in the house with another neighbor her age playing imaginary games with all the animals in her room. If there ever was a playmate that was a soulmate for M., it is this darling girl named Ada. These neighborhood children are either at my house or in the front street playing with my children every day. I have dreamed of this for my children. Only a few short months ago we were struggling, seeking, wishing for more consistent friendships. Dreams do come true, they do.

Dreaming big, dreaming loud...

Finally, space for creativity has begun to unseal and breathe after being boxed in by busyness for so many weeks. The desire to write, to draw, to photograph, and to dream even bigger has trickled back into the fluttering moments of my days. My knitting has remained silent and cold for now, but I expect that to change soon. And as if serendipity was watching my back again, I stumbled across a brochure a couple weeks ago, a brochure that in no way I could ignore.

What this means, I couldn't tell you. I just know that it has ignited some things including the wanderings of a hopeful mind that speaks "what if", "why" and "why not". It has also ignited the naysaying negative side of ego that says "you couldn't", "you're not good enough", and "in your dreams". And I think, exactly--in my dreams is where it should be--because that is where it has always begun. Everything here, began with a dream :).

And a beautiful Wednesday to you...
xoxo

Weekending

2012-05-14T10:03:00.000-04:00

The weekend began with rain,
wet and gray,
much needed no matter
how cold it felt
or dismal it looked.

A bbq not thwarted,
inviting newness,
the promising possibility
of good friendships,
and most definitely
scrumptious food.

Sunday, Mother's day,
brought hugs and
kisses and love
from my dear ones,
but also cleaning,
getting a reel mower
for our itty bitty lawn,
and a tad more work
than play.

A last minute decision
to go see a movie
by myself,
ended in disappointment
as it was already
sold out by the time
I arrived to the ticket window.

Instead, dinner at home
with my family
proved to be my
favorite part of Mother's day.
Our evening meals together--
always together,
are consistently filled with
laughter, teasing, and reflection
on the best part of our days.
And for me,
I reflect,
that it is at this table
when the best part of my days
unfold...

With Amanda for Weekending
and Bella for 52 Photos Project

Up, down and all around

2012-05-11T11:30:00.000-04:00

Holy cow!!! Another week has flown by! Hubs looked at me yesterday and said "is it me, or is time just disappearing?" Busy is as busy does...

Okay, so it is completely in my nature to not rest until my house is well nested. So I am happy to announce that the boxes have been cleared, the house is getting settled and it's starting to feel like home around here. I am beginning to get use to the deer walking around the neighborhood, 60 degrees doesn't feel that cold to me anymore, and helping the kids' get ready for school every morning is becoming routine. I am in an upswing and it feels good :).

Joining Monica for Keeping it Real...

Downers:

a case of the grumps, you know, when nothing appears to be wrong but you feel like crap anyway?

dropping a heavy piece of wood on my foot and a big fat bruise to follow
surveying what I am selling in the garage sale and all I see is what I am wasting

eating ice cream before bedtime, then waking up in the middle of the night with a stomach ache

battle of wills over my son's super long hair that covers his beautiful eyes and that he refuses to cut
feeling shitty for not being able to visit your spaces more often

Uppers:
(okay I know this is getting into a drug reference here but please know I don't use drugs)

a house nearly finished (a sneak peek)

a big empty wall waiting to be filled--but with what?

the funky chair that makes me smile

lovely magazines sent to me by a sweet friend

Mother's day surprises in the mail from my thoughtful MIL

Roses in my garden blooming

The $25 antique dresser I found on Craig's List, refinished (pictures next week :)

A BBQ with new friends tomorrow

The kids are I are going to France in TWO weeks!!!!!

And congratulations to the winners for the giveaway:

Nikole at Verdemama for the Spindle Kit

Karen at Pumpkin Sunrise for the mugs

and Mel at the Drafty Garret for the Doodle Book
(Please email me your addresses ladies!)

Wishing you a grand weekend friends, and a Happy Mother's Day to

all the mamas!!

xoxo

♥

Weekending

2012-05-06T21:23:00.000-04:00

I'm having trouble starting this post. I had started to write about our little neighbor's birthday party we attended, and then maybe mention the rock sculptures the kids made in a river bed, or the many times I arranged and rearranged my books, but these things are not what I am reflecting on right now.

What I am reflecting on is the Mom's luncheon I attended with about 15 other moms from my children's school today. It was just a casual get-together, a way for us to get to know each other, connect, share information. Honestly, I almost changed my mind about going, but then that is typical for me. The nerves start and the butterflies roll--still, after all these years, I get rattled at these kind of functions. I knew that I would be the new kid, which was reason enough to go. But, that same kid in me would rather dive underneath the covers and hide with a good book instead.

Yes, I am an introvert, but because I've become accustomed to knowing that discomfort can lead to growth, I went. And as usual, I am so glad I did :). I met mamas that like to knit, and some that like to sew. I met other moms that may want to hike regularly with me, and even met a mom that had moved from Florida a couple years ago. Yes, I am glad I went, but I won't say that it was easy. It's been a long while since I have been around that many women, and that many women that were strangers. I have to tell you a secret though. As good as today turned out to be, I still prefer the company of children, especially my own. Maybe that will change.........

Naaaaagggghhh, probably not :). Hope you had a fine weekend....
xoxo

Weekending with Amanda

Giveaway still open...

Thorns, roses, and giveaways

2012-05-04T15:09:00.000-04:00

;

Keeping it real with Monica...

Thorns

leftover coughs

not enough storage space!!

no rain

fear of new (to me) hairdressers

more annoying school rules that bother the defiant unschooler in my kids and me

Roses
Meditative breathing to soothe said annoyances with school rules, accepting that life is full of similar rules of jumping hoops, making us more agile and tolerant, I hope....

walking 6 new dogs this morning, with 2 jumping in my lap for cuddles..

overcoming my fear of new hairdressers and walking out with content

happy, healthy kids

hikes in beautiful spaces

having time to read :)

tickets to the Avett Brothers in June--YES!!

And lastly, giveaways for YOU!!! I am long overdue for having a giveaway. It's the best way for me to say "thank you" to my friends and readers that come here with unconditional kindness, patience, and supportiveness. My postings have been so spotty that I am always pleasantly surprised to see the warm words left for me here regardless. So thank you, truly...

I am giving away three different items in hopes that at least one will appeal to the varying tastes that you all have.

1) A Drop Spindle Kit made by Nistock Farms. It comes in a basket filled with 8 ounces each of 4 different colors of roving, a drop spindle, and instructions on how to use the drop spindle.

2) Two stoneware mugs with vintage flowers and in perfect condition found at a local thrift shop. They are solid and have a very nice weight to them.

3) The Usborne Book of Drawing, Doodling, and Coloring, a brand new book that I meant to giveaway before we moved and just never found the time. My daughter and I both enjoyed using this book so much, I know you and or someone you know will too!

So there you have it, 3 different giveaways for 3 different winners. You can enter for all three or you can enter for less, just be sure to let me know in the comments for which you are entering. I will randomly choose a winner for each next Friday.

Cheers to each of you my friends, and thanks again for all that you are and do.

Have a gorgeous weekend...

xoxo

daybook

2012-05-01T13:42:00.000-04:00

I have a cold. Inevitable I guess having two sick kids in the house for a week. I should be in bed right now, or unpacking if I had a smidge more energy, but I want to sit here instead and share a daybook with you. Simplicity is best when there isn't much room for anything else, yes?

Today, outside my window...
I see fat squirrels chasing each other up and around the tree. Oh how I might like being a fat squirrel for just an hour or so...

I am thinking...
about the family at school that just lost their husband and father yesterday. I barely know them, but it still hurts. I have a card to mail them today, it just doesn't feel like it's enough.

I am thankful...
for hot tea with lemon and agave nectar.

In the kitchen...
I have blueberry muffins waiting to be baked with M. after school. I love baking with her...

I am wearing...
jeans and my favorite fuzzy grey sweater, with flip flops.

I am creating...
my sacred space around this desk of mine. There is art to frame and nails to break into this wall.

I am going...
to crawl up on the couch with my tea after this post, and allow myself to not think for awhile.

I am wondering...how the kids are doing at school. I miss them...

I am reading...
Wildwood by Colin Meloy, but wishing I had more energy to dive into Drawing Lab by Carla Sonheim, it looks wonderful.

I am hoping...
for a nap today, even though I haven't had one in years.

I am looking forward to...sleeping.

I am learning...
that I love having Hubs work at home, but it is strange, too, as I have had pangs like he is encroaching on my "domain". Like when he closes things that I want open, or moves things that I don't want moved. It's silly really, but also very interesting to examine how we get set in our ways, and how important it is to get un-set :).

Around the house...
the new plants that I brought home yesterday have made such a beautiful difference in our surroundings. I can't live in a home without plants...

I am pondering...what tea to brew next.

A favorite quote for today...
"I do believe in simplicity. It is astonishing as well as sad, how many trivial affairs even the wisest thinks he must attend to in a day; how singular an affair he thinks he must omit. When the mathematician would solve a difficult problem, he first frees the equation of all incumbrances, and reduces it to its simplest terms. So simplify the problem of life, distinguish the necessary and the real. Probe the earth to see where your main roots run. "
~Henry David Thoreau

One of my favorite things...
the feel of books with trimmed pages...

A few plans for the rest of the week:
Feeling better, sleeping better, dog walking and cat loving at the shelter, more organizing after only 5 boxes left :), a hike or two, de-weeding the garden, maybe actually planting something yummy, hugging on my children when I see them next.

A peek into my day...

Happy May to you :)

♥

Simple Woman's Daybook

Keeping it Real

2012-04-27T10:59:00.000-04:00

I feel the fog lifting in my brain and there is no doubt that it is directly connected to the amount of clutter I have cleared. Clutter is so congesting and living in it for the past 3 weeks definitely messed with my mojo. But I can see the finish! I can see the floors! I can walk without tripping over anything! It feels good to breathe again. Happy to be joining in with Monica and friends for Keeping it Real today....

Stifling
both kids with bronchitis, day 4
missing mom
finding a crack in our brand new bed

running out of dark chocolate

the E.R. bill from a couple weeks ago

humidifiers that don't work
the stress that can wedge between two

Breathing
a much needed date night tomorrow
poppies blooming
neighbors bearing welcome champagne :)
cuddles with sick babes
friends with kind and wise words
reading again
cooking with music and a glass a wine
The Lumineers:

Flowers In Your Hair by The Lumineers on Grooveshark

Wishing you fresh air and a clear head, have a beautiful weekend!

xoxo

Open, again and again

2012-04-25T11:13:00.001-04:00

I tell my children often that we get what we give. Give yourself to something you believe in with sincerity and enthusiasm, and the benefits will come back, often when we least expect it. I have tried to unschool this way. I have given my all to a learning paradigm that encouraged freedom, natural learning, and auto-didacticism. I have worked hard to gently and patiently file down my former assumptions and expectations about education, as well as adopted a parenting pathway that brought us peace, mutual respect, and a deeper sense of love for each other. It has been such a beautiful journey, and I believe so much in what we have experienced--- about living and learning, about following interests, joy and passion, about nonconformity and challenging the norm, about listening to our hearts and intuition, and about respecting and celebrating the individuals that we all are, exactly as we are now. These beliefs have not changed, but as we grew with these beliefs, we have inherently changed. And when we change, it is inevitable that our needs will change. And so it goes...

It's hard for an optimist like me to ever believe that perhaps my best, my all, would eventually not be enough. In the past I have always had success with hard work, though humility was never far away to remind me of my limitations. For me, humility's greatest tool has always been the element of surprise. Thankfully, reality and acceptance do eventually arrive to remind me that opportunities will only open if I find courage to let go, even if with all my heart I don't want to. I have told my children many times that when we open our eyes and open our minds, that our hearts can soon follow. Open, again and again MJ.

So much has changed, our home and surroundings, new friends and new people, a different energy all together. And now, my unschooled children are back in school. This was not a sudden or quick decision. I knew the possibility existed, especially after last year. Yet, I was so sure that learning at home with me was where my children belonged, that I just had to work a little harder to meet all their needs. And so I did. I devoted more of my time and energy into helping them find complete satisfaction. I committed myself fully, confident that together we could find a groove that worked for all of us.

There is no doubt the children gained from this. They gained a belief and a confidence in themselves that what is important to them is truly important to their parents. They have gained the courage to pursue those interests wholeheartedly, as well as communicate those interests with peers and adults alike. To see them blossom this way, having the confidence and initiative without needing permission or approval to be who they are, often inspired and encouraged me to continue in my efforts and resist old patterns of thinking----that learning should happen primarily in an institutionalized setting. But, as time passed, I began to feel imbalanced, and the less I did for myself, the more resentful I became. My children, especially my son who will be 10 soon, wanted more social interactions that despite my efforts I could not provide. They wanted more opportunities that allowed them to be independent, without my always having to find it for them. And me, I wanted more time to just relax and be more than just mom and wife. I want to be more creative, be healthier, and be more independent. My husband, seeing all of this unfold, began to encourage me to think outside of my own box of unschooling bliss, to consider that with all that the children have gained from being home with us for three years, a structured learning environment may look different now.

Though there are plenty of portals for guilt to rise in, resounding tapes that playback and claim that I haven't done enough, that I am a failure, that I give up too easily, I can squelch the tendency to berate myself and accept that in the grand scheme of things, everything always works out just fine--that all this energy we put into these types of decisions are greater in our mind than they are in reality. I have found relief in knowing that no matter what my children do, or what choices we make together, that they will always be okay. The trust I have in them is greater than my fear of the unknown, and this I gained from unschooling and will never change. I choose to rely upon their confidence and strength of spirit to find happiness and satisfaction. Our greatest asset is the grounding and open relationship we have with each other and they know that if things don't work out, we can make changes again. We are great creatures of adaptation and evolution and we have a part in creating the environment we need to thrive in, no matter where that is.

Meanwhile, I have also been reminded that if I am giving more than what keeps me whole and balanced, then what I am really giving is nothing. To lose myself in the needs of my children by sacrificing so much energy and eventually my confidence, to rub against the grain of personal fulfillment, does no one any good. It was a good effort to continue believing that I could make everything work, effort that I won't regret as I know I gave it my best. You get what you give, even though what comes back may not be in the package you expected.

To have believed that I had failed was wholly unfair to my children, and self-centered. When I truly *see* my children, I don't see failure, I don't see sadness, I don't see lack, I don't see anything but pure, unfiltered spirit and joy. I see two strong children with a keen sense of self, and a keen insight to what they want and need. These past three years changed our lives and has prepared us for the transitions we are going through now. The move into montessori school has been nearly seamless. When we walked on that campus for the first time together, the feelings were mutual and instant. It felt right. We all knew at the same time that this montessori school was theirs. The honesty of their emotions and their attitude about their new school environment has astounded me so far. E. loves his new school and everyday looks forward to going. M. is having fun, but doesn't like waking up early and feels that some of the rules are ridiculous (Lol, so true)! My priority now is to always be there and help them remember that it isn't about performance, comparing, or meeting anyone else's goals. It is about their love of learning, it is about doing our best, making friendships and enjoying their time there. It is about keeping our head, heart, and arms wide open :).

much love...

xoxo

Peek-a-boo

2012-04-19T16:00:00.000-04:00

I see you :). I am alive, buried alive that is, in 240 boxes that arrived from FL a couple days ago. Just when I believed we had sold most of our things, suddenly I feel as if we sold nothing. How can we accumulate so much stuuuufff?!! We will be having a garage sale soon, and I can only hope someone else will find their own treasures in what we decide to toss. Speaking of treasure, see this tin can? This awesome tin can that says "Tout Au Beurre" which means "all butter" (thanks Hublove for translatin') and is also a bakery in Paris? It was 99 cents at the local Good Will. And this ma friends is how we go accumulatin' stuuuffff in our lives, because we see treasure in someone else's ~~crap~~ collection, and because we can find eensy weensy bits of pleasure in the darndest places. Thank goodness for that!!!!

On another note, I just wanted to tell you that I'm tired of corrugated cardboard, packing peanuts and bubble wrap, but there is good news. My mama is flying in tonight for the weekend and this tired feeling of mine has turned a bit sassy and spunky amongst all this bizinesssss. So, until I come up to breathe again, and I promise it will be soon, hug your mamas, your friends and your babies and your little fuzzy animal friends because nothing beats a hug when you're feeling run down!!!

Joining the Lady Cordelia in her Thrifty Thursday...
xo

Keeping it Real

2012-04-13T10:08:00.001-04:00

Hiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!! How are you? It's been awhile, I know. I've been on a see-saw these past several days. Up and down, good things, not-so-good things, fun things, not-so-fun things, busy with little to no me-time at all. I can't complain too much, nesting is such a Spring thing to do, and I am going full throttle with creating and deepening the space that we now call home. There are still boxes to be unpacked and items to be found to fill this house, so I join Mon today with keeping it real to share with you my see-saw happenings. I've missed being here, and it's so good to be back. Thanks for your caring thoughts and your patience...

Sees

No internet for nearly 3 days.

Disgusting discoveries left by previous tenants who apparently didn't like to clean. Let's just say 3 hours with the microwave.

No car for 5 days--major oil leak ragin' like a river, and then the bill, uggh....

A bladder infection and a trip to the E.R. to let me know that I am not superhuman and impervious to earthly illnesses.

Antibiotics...

No humidity = dry skin!! Yep, I've got scales.

Saws:

Making my own space in a little corner under the stairs and the visions of what I'd like it to be

A new-to-me reclaimed desk with my up-cycled chair.

A 1920's antique dresser for $25!!!!! Needs some TLC, but it's a beauty. C. will be proud :).

The arrival of beautiful things from Amanda and her shop, a vintage mug and her handmade sachets:). Thanks Amanda!

And a week before that, the products that arrived from Laura Emily's shop. Thank you Laura Emily, as usual your products are a treat and a pleasure :).

And finally the long anticipated arrival of Migrations of the Heart by Kelly of Umber Dove, I know just where this beautiful watercolor will nest...

It's a little pink looking due to the sunrise coming from the window :).

There is more but as time would have it, I have to go. And this might be a good place to tell you that every morning now, I take my kids to school. Montessori school. There is a whole post in my head about this and it needs to be written soon. I've learned so much in the past 3 years, but this unschool loving mama has had a lot of letting go to do in the past several weeks. We are all in a cycle of evolving, and it would be unreal to say that growing pains are not a part of it. What is that quote?

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” Andre Gide

Wishing you a fabulous Friday and a wonderful weekend...
xoxo

Almost there....

2012-04-04T09:26:00.002-04:00

It snowed yesterday!!! It was beautiful and these Florida born kids were delighted. I was delighted to see the absolute happiness and beaming smiles on their faces, smiles that lasted all...day...long. Thank you Mother Nature, for answering our hopes :).

Now on with Spring and on with our move to the next house. We are almost there and I've been too busy to finish any of the posts that I've started the past few days. So I am checking in to say, I'm still here and almost there...

More soon and happy Wednesday!

xoxo

I Spy

2012-04-01T07:55:00.000-04:00

Mikhael Paskalev - I spy from André Chocron on Vimeo.

Because it's Sunday and I felt like it and because watching a man dance in his underwear is always a great way to start a day.

"I spy with my little eye, that fall is connected to try..."~ Mikhail Paskalev

xoxo

Keeping it real

2012-03-31T09:21:00.000-04:00

It's true, joy pockets has been laid to rest. Mon has a new link-up at ink + chai that has a more balanced approach with recognizing the lows and well as the highs of our past week.

On many levels this does makes sense to me. Not that focusing on the positive isn't a good thing, but recognizing the lows keeps us human, and is often the springboard for appreciating the highs :). My only problem with this is my perfectionism defect. Perfectionists can take the lows pretty hard, or at least will try to fix them until exhaustion settles in. I know I have a high magnification when it comes to seeing flaws, problems, lows, which is why I think joy pockets were such a great exercise for me. I don't want to confuse negativity with perfectionism, they are two very different things. In fact, most perfectionists I know are extremely optimistic and can see the good in everything. But I think this is where the disconnect happens for the perfectionist in me. I believe so passionately that I can fix things, I can change them, make them better, turn everything into a good thing, that I confuse positivity with the desire to control everything.

I have no problem recognizing and acknowledging the lows, but can I embrace them? Can I let them live and breathe without needing to fix them or offer a silver lining? I know I've done by best to be honest in these pages. I think I have shared with you many of my down times, stressed times, confused times, my lows...But if I shared all of it, I fear you may think me neurotic and obsessed. I am, neurotic and obsessed :). I am an optimistic, neurotic, and obsessed forever-recovering perfectionist, so here goes :).

Lows
stressed out about little details surrounding the move
feeling cramped
too much chocolate resulting in erupting pimples
feeling like a failure *more on this later*
feeling lonesome
feeling vulnerable
feeling "extra" in all the wrong places
missing my out-of-town hubs

Highs
hikes with my kids
my favorite pooch Parker being adopted :)
finding a new favorite at the shelter, a Boxer named Jamie
being tackled, hugged and kissed by my babes
care package from my mama
learning that the kids love thrifting too!
lego spinning top wars with the boy
getting the keys to our house today!!!
reading the beautiful maybe by Mel

Wishing you a weekend full of "let it be"-ness :)

xoxo

Thrifting

2012-03-29T11:01:00.002-04:00

Joining Cory for Thrifty Thursday, I think I did good this past week :). A mint green chair in great condition structurally but could use re-painting, a queen-sized corduroy quilt that is absolutely gorgeous and only needs a little mending on one small part of an edge, and a beautiful piece of handmade pottery, a bowl weighing in at about 2 pounds. I didn't need any of these things, but did that stop me?!!

I am not sure how my husband is going to take this, but I feel a new addiction coming on. This is SO MUCH FUN!! And in a town where cool finds like these seem to be everywhere, we are definitely in trouble here.

In regards to finding furniture for home (we get the keys Saturday-yippeee!), I will proudly say that so far nearly everything we have purchased is recycled and upcycled furniture, from consignment or made from reclaimed pieces of wood and materials. The only exception is our mattress and bedframe that we purchased new last weekend, but even that is made from all wood and all natural materials. I am hoping we can keep this up with just a few more necessities to go. I do look forward to showing you these things, but I've got to get in the house first :)!!

Happy Thrifty Thursday!

xo

Uncharted territory

2012-03-28T12:01:00.000-04:00

Don't be fooled. This is a picture of what I am not knitting, and what I am not reading. I am not knitting my sweater that I started nearly two months ago. You can see that it is no where near finished or even no where near my size. It is about 2 sizes too big and the armholes are two different sizes. I am thinking about frogging the whole thing and starting over, some day.

And the book I am not reading is Lucy Maude Montgomery's Selected Journals Volume I (1889- 1910). If you enjoyed any part of the Anne of Green Gables' series, the author's journals are an insightful and delightful look into her own life, providing an exemplary blueprint for the beloved character known as Anne. But I am not reading it right now or the other book Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke, which I was moderately enjoying and anticipating would get better, if I was still reading.

So what am I doing then, if I am not doing two of my favorite things?

eating this

watching this

anticipating this

listening to this

feeling this:

And wanting more of this:

I think it is in these instances when we should be careful in trying to define ourselves by what we "do". I am a knitter that is not knitting, a reader that is not reading, a blogger who is not blogging very much. I am not photographing, barely journaling or writing.

It feels a bit unstable when all the things that surrounded and described me before are no longer marking my daily me-ness. Moving has certainly changed circumstances, but I think my point is that it can be dangerous getting too comfortable in thinking we know who we are. Breaking the walls of familiarity means there is freedom in not being bound by definition. Like water I can carve new corners, and know that I am as free as any wide-eyed gypsy looking for a new tune to dance to. The sparks of possibility fly like fireworks, expanding the sky and shattering what I thought was normal. Normal, suddenly, has no definition at all.

There will come a day when these bones won't keep up with the thoughts and dreams that scatter around this head. So I encourage myself, and anyone else who's game, to resist normal, resist definition, resist thinking that today is just like any other day, and that you are exactly who you think you are....There will always be uncharted territories to seek and discover within, and all around us.

From one of my all time favorite movies:

Rip out that page!!!!

xoxo

Snapshots

2012-03-26T11:01:00.000-04:00

It's been a long time since I have experienced Spring the way I am experiencing it now. For the last 27 years it was difficult to see a clear distinction between the seasons in a climate that was always warm, always like Spring or like Summer. These days, I hunt and hover over the new growth in the yard and in the surrounding areas like a child waiting for an egg to hatch. The new growth on the trees here are brighter and greener than I had ever noticed in FL, probably because it's easier to see a horizon change from brown to green than it is from green to green. Pink hyacinths, lamb's ears, daffodils everywhere, and then this red flower, I don't know what it is, do you?

This weekend, the four of us went to hike a portion of a trail called Mt. Sanitas. It is one of the most popular loop trails here. It is 3.1 miles long, moderate to strenuous with an elevation gain of 1,357 feet, if you take the whole loop. We had only planned to take a half mile knowing the whole loop would probably be too difficult for the kids, not to mention it was already 4:30pm and the sun had begun it's descent. When we arrived, we could choose to take the left side ascent, known to be steep and strenuous, or the right side, known to be an easier, more gradual ascent. Again, thinking we would only do a short part of the hike, we took the left, more strenuous route.

After about a half hour of this, M. had had enough. This FL born girl, though she loved climbing rocks, was getting tired of the consistent and unrelenting ascent. Her tired little muscles didn't want to go any further. E., my active, parkour loving 9 year old, wasn't ready to be finished. I saw the excitement in his eye and the smell of a good challenge filling his senses. He looked at me with pleading eyes. How could I say "no"? After all, I love a good hiking challenge myself and climbing uphill like this released endorphins that screamed in my ear "keep going, keep going!" So, without knowledge of this trail, or how far we had left to go, and without memory of the last time I hiked this hard, I said "let's go! We planned on meeting Hubs and M. at the beginning of the trail, oh maybe an hour or so later. I had my water, my son, a fantastic hike in front of me, energy, I was ready. The only thing I didn't have with me, I figured out later, was my phone.

With views like these, and nearly 2 1/2 hrs. later, this challenging hike was well worth the unknowing, the forgetfulness of my phone, the scolding from my husband for his worry and forgetting my phone, and the following day's soreness. It was an amazing hike, but even better was the beautiful one-on-one time I was able to spend with my boy. His perseverance, his energy, his determination, and his positive attitude, even when the ascent just never seemed to end, made me so proud of him. Being at home with both my kids all the time leaves little chance for one-on-one time with either of them, so moments like these are absolutely priceless.

As we finally approached the last few minutes of our loop, we were greeted by a beautiful cat on a leash named Neve...

then deer...

and then my sweet daughter M. running towards us with open arms, and a relieved look on my husband's face in the background. E. and I decided that this trail is one that we will hike together often, but next time with my phone :).

I have one more beautiful thing to share about this weekend. As a lady passed by us on the street mall yesterday, I noticed the strutting, spunky, fluffy sheepdog mix she had on her leash. As soon as I saw the dog, it reminded me of Walter, who we just saw in the pound 2 days before. I said smiling, "There's a dog just like that in the pound." And she said, "This is the dog from the pound, I just adopted him yesterday!" I so love happy endings :).

Good Monday to you

xoxo

Linking with Amanda...

'round here

2012-03-23T09:25:00.000-04:00

Soothing, yes? I feel calmer and a whole breath softer when I look at this picture...and then I turn the corner and see this...

*sigh*... It is my existence at this moment, but for now that just has to be alright... at least for 9 more days :). But can I show you what is sprinkled in this picture? Other than our boxes stacked around the edges of this temporary home, the colored pens and doodle book scattered across the floor, my half-knitted sweater sitting neglected in the bag to the right, is that a stick sticking out of my knitting bag???? Kids!!!

Isn't this lovely? I have two of them that I found on Craig's list...They are strong, sturdy and oh so wonderful! Cory are you proud? Well, before I continue I will tell you the honest truth in that I probably paid too much for them. $20 each. EEK!! I know I know. Cory would have found them for $2 each somewhere. But who would I be if I didn't have something to learn?!!! Okay, here's another one that may restore your faith in my thrifting education...

Hubs hates it. I love it. $5. I think I could have paid less, but the lady at the garage sale said it belonged to her mother, which I thought was worth the extra couple $. Quick short story on why I had to get this one, besides that it is vintage gold (or red). Seven years ago I let my mom sell in her garage sale a large vintage painting my father bought when I was very young. It was a large acrylic painting of a girl with long black hair and a straw hat on her head. He told my mother that this reminded him of me, that it was me. To this day I struggle to get over that thoughtless loss. What was I thinking when I agreed to sell it? Anyway, I seek redemption and this red vintage lady helps--a little bit :).

There is more I snagged, but I can't show you all my cards at once right? I'm late, but I have to link up with Cory's Thrifty Thursday :)...

In other happenings 'round here, take a look at these darlings...

Parker

and....

Rocky

No, not ours :)! They are two of the four dogs we walked and played with while volunteering at the shelter here in Boulder. It's safe to say that the kids and I are ecstatic to be able to help out these homeless fuzballs. It's true that my kids begged me to take one home, especially Rocky. It's a good thing we are homeless right now too or I just might have agreed. We go back today to walk and spend time with more of them. Volunteering here was one of the best decisions I've made since we moved here. It has bolstered a sense of purpose, compassion, and selflessness in my kids, to nurture something that needs more attention than they do.

Wishing you a bright and happy weekend...

♥

Pulse

2012-03-21T11:18:00.000-04:00

There is much happening around here, a lease has been signed, a move-in date has been settled, and this mama is hunting furniture on Craig's List, at thrift stores, estate sales, and reclaimed furniture stores :). I am very much in a task-oriented phase, which leaves little room in my brain for creative energy and expression. There is a bit of lunacy in it all, so I come here to pause, find pulse and reconnect with the peaceful. I remind myself that busy-ness does not mean aliveness. Pulse thrives in taking time to witness the new growth of crocuses and daffodils that have arrived with Spring, the gurgling rush of water carving it's way down a creek, the sound of feet crunching on gravel and scraping against rock, the jubilant laughter that my children express freely, the sacred evening mealtimes we spend together nightly, and the rare, but sweet embraces my husband and I steal together in this tiny, crowded house.

Pulse exists here too in all the kind and knowing words you left for me in the last post. You are all such wise and wonderful women, thank you.

"And now I see with eye serene, the very pulse of the machine." ~ William Wordsworth

xoxo