Optimism Training Wheels

2010-07-23T14:41:00.000-07:00

When I was five-years-old my dad took me to an empty school parking lot. He parked our old Ford Aerostar, smiled at me and asked “Are you ready?” I could not get out of the car fast enough. I ran to the back of the van and paced back and forth while I waited for him to pop the trunk. Sitting in the back of the van was a shiny-blue bike. He picked up the tiny bike, set it on the ground in front of me and turned back to the van. I was sitting on the bike looking up at him when he turned back around. My eagerness made him laugh as he said “Not so fast.” He handed me an oversized white helmet and black pads for my knees and elbows. In a matter of seconds I was covered in the safety gear and propped back up on my new bike. My dad put one hand on my handle bars and the other on the back of my seat to help me balance. He looked at me and asked “You ready?” I nodded slowly as he gave me a little push. I felt the bike wobble as I started to peddle - so I turned the handle bars slightly to the left. The bike suddenly sifted it’s weight. I panicked and tried to recover by turning quickly to the right. Bad decision. Almost instantly I heard my dad yell out “Brreeaakk!” I looked down at my hands and I froze. I didn’t know what to do - this was my first time riding a bike. I wasn‘t frozen long when - CRASH, BOOM, BANG, OUCH, OWIE, RUSTLE - less than ten seconds into my first bike ride and I had hit the parking lot’s curb and rolled violently into a pile of thorn bushes. I laid in the bushes embarrassed and upset. My dad picked me up, brushed me off, and asked me “Are you okay?” I shook my head no and started to cry.

We came back to the same place every day for two weeks and I think I fell everyone of those days. But I didn’t give up, I was determined. It was not long before I was riding my bike everywhere. The more I practiced, the better I got. I had scrapes and bruises from falling but they were well worth it. To this day I am still riding my bike. I am constantly trying to reach new levels by taking on new challenges and setting higher goals.

Becoming a more positive person is similar to learning how to ride a bike. You need to start with the basics and work your way up. Before you can jump into the Tour de France you need to learn to peddle, balance, and steer. If you want to get rid of the negativity in your life you have to start with the little things you face every day. Once you have perfected the “basics” of optimistic living you will be ready to take new, more complex challenges.

Here are a few basic things I do to help fight off the day-to-day struggles that threaten my happiness.

Manage your time and you’ll manage your mood
Personally, time is my biggest stressor; once I finish one thing something else always pops up. I never have time to sit back and relax. However, I have been able to make my busy day much more enjoyable with a very simple trick.Do the things you hate in the morning. Get those dreadful things done right when you wake up, even if it means you have to get up an hour earlier. There is nothing worse than coming home after a long day to a list a chores you don’t want to do. If you can knock them out early you will be able to go through the rest of the day without the stress of what awaits you later in the back of your mind.

Stay true to you
Live your life based on what you believe. Be conscious about the decisions you are making. Ask yourself “Why am I doing it this way?” Be sure to be honest with yourself when you answer. You should never base your decisions on other people or your current mood. Take your time. Sleep on it. Consider the different options. Think about what kind of person you always strived to be. Ask yourself “What is most important to me?” Ask yourself “What are my values?” Ask “What do I believe in?” When you have done all of this you will know which way you want to go.
There will be many times when your decision will have consequences. It is important to remember that EVERY decision will have consequences in one way or another. Be proud of the fact that you didn’t “sell-out,” and know that those who do will not sleep as well at night.

This just in: GOOD NEWS IS GOOD FOR YOU!
Turn on the T.V., open up the paper, listen to the radio - they are all filled with corruption, crime, and scandal. It is hard to find a story that gives us hope and makes us feel good. The truth is, there is more good happening in the world than bad. I guess bad just sells better. Find and read the good news. It will give you hope and motivate you. The bad will do the opposite. Here are a few of my favorite good-news websites:

http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/
http://www.goodmood-news.com/
http://www.happynews.com/
http://good-news.alltop.com/
http://optimistworld.com/News.aspx

The “Yes Man” philosophy (the movie starring Jim Carey)
Repetition = Boring. It is hard to get excited when you wake up if you are doing the same thing every day. So….jump on the chance to experience new things! Mix it up a little, and stop assuming “I won‘t like that” or “That’s not for me.” You never know until you try! Try new foods, go to new stores, talk to strangers, listen to new music - there are so many things you can do, you just have to look for them. You’ll learn things about yourself, you’ll learn things about the world, and your days will never be boring.

Momma always said “Live and Learn.”
You are going to make mistakes and they are going to bother you. They should. You need to force yourself to put the regret and irritation aside and realize there is nothing you can do about it now. If you dwell on how you messed up - instead of focusing on the rest of your day - then you will be more likely to make another mistake. Instead, use your mistakes to grow as a person. The worst mistakes are the ones you keep making.

You are a rock star, you just don’t realize it
You accomplish amazing things all the time. I’m not talking about getting a promotion, graduating from college, or receiving an award - these types of accomplishments are few and far between. I’m talking about the - whipping a dinner up out of nothing, fixing the toilet that doesn’t want flush, or helping a friend who is feeling down - accomplishments. These achievements may seem small to you by themselves; but if you compile them together you will see how big of an impact you are making. At the end of the day take the time to think about everything you have done. Be proud of what you find. Share it with the people you are comfortable with. When your confidence takes a hit - revert back to your list. For example, your boss is irritated with you because you miss a deadline and you feel like you have let everyone down. Think back to your list, there is probably a time when you helped an overwhelmed coworker complete a project, or a time when you stepped up and took on the work no one else wanted to do. It has been widely accepted by scientist that people are more likely to the bad moments in life instead of the good ones. Check it out here - http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1817329,00.html. For this reason we have to go out of our way to remember the good we have done or else we will be at risk of falling victim to our negative experiences.

Wandering Optimism

Optimism Training Wheels