The North Terminal at DTW and I have spent some quality time together recently. Perhaps I’m not used to flying out of that terminal, but with it’s bare bone offerings, waiting leaves me feeling stranded. A strong temptation always pulls me in the direction of the McNamara terminal instead to hop on a one way Delta flight across the Pacific. Short side trips have allowed me to cruise through with just a carry on, bypassing everyone in line checking luggage and gliding through security. Such painless experiences of navigating through an airport leave me wondering if it’s time to travel the world with just one small backpack that I could keep on me at all times. My next jaunt across the ocean may call for even more minimalism.

BOOKS!

Early one Wednesday morning, I thought nothing of my long day of travel from Detroit to Dallas, ending in Albuquerque. With a queue of books on my kindle, long flights and layovers have become the least of my worries. I’m at home in the airports, people watching, and wondering what they’re lives are like. Sitting next to a young girl and her mother on the flight from DTW to DFW, there was nothing I enjoyed more than toggling between reading and eavesdropping. It was the girl’s first time flying, and in her own untainted and unfiltered curiosity, she talked her mother’s ear off the entire flight. Nothing went unnoticed from the clouds lined with sunlight to each small motion of the plane. Listening to everything she had to say made me long for that naivete and cherish her sense of wonderment. At the end of the flight, her mother asked what her favorite subjects are in school. The girl’s response? Science and recess. With that, I was grinning from ear to ear, and I thought to myself “this girl has a bright future ahead of her.” I can only hope the world doesn’t squash her innocent curiosity.

Tucked away in the corner of the lounge at DFW

Arriving at DFW, I was pleasantly surprised at how well equipped it is for travelers from all walks of life. It may be one of the best airports in the United States to have a layover. The people seem really happy and are extremely nice, there’s free wifi, spacious napping spots, free travel lounges, the Skylink to take you between terminals seamlessly, and plenty of modern restaurants including my personal favorites, Red Mango and Jamba Juice. Macha Green Tea Smoothie? Um, yes please! On my 3 hour layover, I curled up (literally) in the corner of the travel lounge with a book and a hefty plate of orange chicken from Manchu Wok. It was in-transit bliss.

From DFW to ABQ, I was in the aisle with an older woman, Laurie, and a young man my age, Sam, in the window. For the 1 hour flight, they bonded over their experiences in religious environments both professionally and personally. It was a conversation I was reluctant to join in on, as religion is not my strong suit having not grown up with it in my house. So I decided to practice writing Japanese to keep the characters fresh in my head. At some point, Laurie turns to me and says, “that’s an interesting game you’re playing.” I explain that I’m learning Japanese to which she replies, “Oh, my son is learning Arabic,” and promptly returns to her conversation with Sam, without another word to me. One eyebrow raised and confused, I turn back to my “game,” uninterrupted for the remainder of the flight.

Always in transit

Shuffling out the door of the ABQ Sunport, my shuttle awaits to drive me closer to the city center. I listen quietly from the backseat to the driver who is a New Mexico local that lived abroad in Italy for 5 years and has an intense desire to travel. As he drops off customers, he keeps shooting off tips for things to see, places to eat, and gives us all a complimentary, mini tour of Old Town. Of all his suggestions, the one that makes my ears perk is his recommendation for a restaurant called Seasons. He goes on and on about how good the food is and how the manager always sends him coupons. I wonder if he has “friends” at this restaurant that have kindly asked him to promote, and naturally, the answer is YES! As we approach my stop, I roll my eyes at his spiel, get out of the van, tip the man, and settle into my hotel for the night. After showering and force feeding myself mediocre takeout, I crash on the bed, drifting off to episodes of Long Island Medium in the background.

In transit may not be the most glamourous part of traveling, but in limbo between here and there, I’ve learned, is where the most gems can be discovered.

Kokuma

That title sounds like I should have my own special with Oprah or be a participant on a reality show called “Ridiculous Addictions”. I didn’t intend it that way. Really, it’s not so dramatic, but you will catch me with my nose buried in atlases or travel memoirs more frequently than the typical American. I am also sure that I’m one of the largest contributors to the number of hits Google Maps receives each day.

What it comes right down to is that travel has become my entire world. It’s always on my mind in more ways than one. Planning my next destination, writing about my adventures, thinking of and missing my friends abroad, feeling nostalgic over all the memories created, etc. Physically, I’m in one place, but my mind is always elsewhere. Specifically, Asia.

What travelers before me failed to mention is that the more you travel, the harder it becomes to sit still at home again. Travel is both a self-destructive and self-medicating addiction in which I’m happy to be tangled, but it is unrelenting.

There is a dangerous freedom that comes with traveling. Anonymity. I become a blank slate on which the world paints its impressions, and for the first time, I have no responsibilty other than being respectful of my new culture. Every detail is up to me. Where I stay, how I get around, the people I interact with. The journey overseas presents a unique set of challenges I don’t encounter at home like language barriers, identifying the food on my plate, and logistics. It may be an expensive habit, but in the end, what I lack in finances, I make up for in experience.

Since I’ve been home, I have a hard time relating and talking to people who haven’t traveled extensively or don’t have the desire to do so because I’ve worked myself into a corner of being unable to resonate with anything else. I could tell you stories, show you photos, and/or give you travel advice, but I know your eyes will glaze over within a matter of 20 seconds. So unless I’m among the right crowd, I don’t even bother. Quite frankly, many people have had to drag stories out of me with questions simply because I don’t want to bore them.

Any kind of addiction (smoking, alcohol, food, etc.) is not easy to live with and even harder to quit, when it provides an escape from the difficulties of reality. A travel addiction is both a blessing and a curse for which, thankfully, there isn’t a remedy. The only difference is that traveling is my reality, and it’s a lifestyle I’d never wish away. In fact, I hold on so tight, in fear of it slowly fading.

Just like with anything else, I have to find a balance, but not a day goes by where I am unhappy to be a victim of the travel bug.

With the most popular travel season upon us, vacation plans have been set in motion.

From high school grads teetering between the decision to go to college or travel the world to people who want an escape from the office, the one main question I’ve received recently is in regards to the safety of solo travel. I’ve fielded several emails and messages about it, and I figured it would be beneficial to share my responses publicly. So let’s talk about it.

Here in America, we’ve been conditioned to believe that the world is a scary place. Many of us are trained not to deviate away from our commute between work, home, the bar, maybe the gym, and a couple of errands because if we do, something bad will happen. God forbid. At the end of every article, I should leave a bold but friendly reminder not to watch the news.

Ain’t no mountain high enough…

Do I travel alone? Isn’t it difficult and scary to travel alone as a young woman?

Yes, I do travel alone, and at first, I was nervous to do so. Who wouldn’t be? But the truth is, I’ve never felt like my safety was threatened outside of American borders, even in the Middle East. In fact, I found people to be extremely kind, humble, and hospitable, ESPECIALLY in the Middle East. You just have to take the necessary precautions like you do at home, use your common sense, listen to your intuition, and don’t intentionally go looking for trouble. Traveling solo presents all sorts of unique obstacles, and even though it maybe frustrating and disheartening in the moment, half the fun is trying to overcome them.

International Exchange Party in Osaka

Do I ever get lonely? How do I meet people?

At times, I have felt lonely, but it’s always temporary. Staying in hostels and couchsurfing are great outlets that have introduced me to so many wonderful people that I feel very fortunate to have be a part of my story. Group accommodation options like hostels make it easy to meet people and find a few companions with which to explore, but sometimes, you have to be the one to start the conversation. Use sites like Couchsurfing and Meetup to attend local events, talk to strangers on the street, reach out to friends online to see if they know anybody traveling in the same place as you at the same time. Every person around you is a new friend waiting to happen. As an introvert, connecting with people or starting the conversation is really hard for me, but I learned that amazing things come from simply saying hello.

How do I get around if I can’t speak the language?

The world is well-equipped for travelers, more so than we give it credit for. In many developed societies, English is prevalent, save for a few oddballs like Russia. Most road signs, ports of entry/exit, tourist spots, menus etc. are bilingual, even multilingual. If you need help reading something, writing something down, or getting somewhere, ask your hotel/hostel staff for assistance or even get information from your respective embassy. For basic phrases, grab a pocketbook dictionary or something similar to carry around with you, before you leave home.

Get your game face on.

What if something bad happens on the road?

If something bad happens on the road, ask for help.

Look, I’m not going to sugar coat it. Traveling alone takes a leap of faith, but the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. People get raped, injured, drugged, and even murdered. It’s tragic, and it also doesn’t happen as frequently as the media would like you to believe.

Anywhere you go, it’s important to stay in tune with your surroundings and move with confidence. If something doesn’t feel right, walk away. Watch your drink, stay in public areas, and don’t do something potentially fatal just to fit in. But also know it’s okay to let your guard down, and if something bad does happen, that’s okay too. Take a deep breath, try to remain calm, and do what you have to do for your safety. Remember, even though it feels like the worst has happened, it’s only temporary, and don’t let it deter you from traveling onward. The mishaps, hassles, and sometimes downright dangerous allow for contrast. You’ll learn just how strong you didn’t know you were and come away with captivating stories.

In Russia, an ATM ate my debit card, in Japan I was publicly shamed twice for not speaking Japanese, and in Thailand I got hit by a taxi cab, etc. All of those things were frustrating in the moment, but they didn’t shake my positive impressions of each country or dent my love for traveling. After a while, I learned to shake it off and make peace with the cultural differences.

It may be difficult to comprehend that people would be willing to help a foreigner or take you under their wing. It’s one of those things that you won’t believe until you experience it.

Why do I recommend solo travel?

I cannot speak for guys, but the thing about traveling alone as a woman is that people are more willing to help you than if you were in a group. To the rest of the world, it’s uncommon to see women backpacking solo so people are curious about your story and protective of you without even knowing you. It’s quite a blessing.

In closing, yes, I 100% back solo travel. The treasures to be found in doing so include independence, inspiration, reflection, freedom, and cleansing. It’s getting to know a different country on your own terms and moving around where you want, when you want, and how you want. It forces you to listen and observe, and personally speaking, it has been a collection of the most sobering experiences of my life.

Links

• Dear Dad: Please Don’t Worry (via A Dangerous Business)
• Revisiting the solo female travel experience (via Legal Nomads)
• 17 Safety Tips for Solo Travelers (via Gadling)
• The Truth About Solo Female Travel and Safety (via Adventurous Kate)
• Solo Travel Safety: 20 Common Sense Tips (via Solo Traveler Blog)
• Solo Travel: Don’t Be Afraid of Being Afraid (via Megan Hettwer)

What other questions do you have regarding the safety of solo travel or travel in general?

Gilly!

“The next 3 days off I have in a row are May 26-28, unless you want to wait until June,” read the little, green text bubble. It was settled then. I would spend those days in Marquette with my best friend and mischievous sidekick from college, playfully known as Gilly, whom I hadn’t seen since I graduated 3 years ago.

My first time in the Upper Peninsula would be spent in tranquility among good company. What more could I ask for? Sunny skies led the way across the Mackinac Bridge which, on a clear day, has the most magnificent view EVER. It felt like I was flying over water.

As I stepped outside after my long 7 hour drive, I was keeping an eye out for Gilly’s blue van with my phone glued to my hear trying to track him down. “I see you!” He scooped me up, parked the car, and we made our way down to the water for the start of three glorious days of catching up. But first, not without the familiar bear hug I was so spoiled with back in school nearly 10 times a day.

We left our sandals behind as we jumped from boulder to boulder along the break wall to the lighthouse. When we got to the end, we sat down, reminisced about college, waded through happenings of the past 3 years, and let our imaginations run wild of building and living in a tiny house village. We had picked up right where we left off just as I could always count on.

Later that evening, we spent hours at his friend’s house where we grilled a variety of meats on a questionable grill and played cornhole until the sun went down. I tried reindeer for the first time (sorry Bambi and Rudolph), and after a few drinks, we weren’t so much making actual progress with our cornhole skills as we were just hitting each other with the sacks.

The following day, Gilly, his girlfriend, and I climbed Sugarloaf Mountain, went driving around and hiking along different parts of the lake, and I even took a half nap on the rocks with the sun and breeze from the water rocking me to sleep. Other miscellaneous activities included dog walks, Hangover 3, a visit to Lakenland Sculpture Park, drinks at Porthouse Inn, and a movie night featuring Book of Eli. Despite feeling nervous about playing host to his hometown, Gilly did a wonderful job, and of course, I reminded him that it was more about the reunion than checking off another new destination.

Lakenland Sculpture Park

On the morning of my departure, what I expected to be a quick two second goodbye turned into an hour and a half conversation on the balcony of his 3rd floor apartment drinking tea and coffee like a still out of the movie UP. In his company, without fail, I get to enjoy rich food for thought discussions. It’s both a relief and a real treat away from the shallow conversations about work and weather of which my days are usually full. He gives me the chance to listen and take a rest from the same robotic answers I keep giving about my travels.

New friend

For the first time since Japan, Marquette has captured my heart. Everyone is so nice, down to Earth, and the city is so picturesque and safe. Not to mention that my best friend’s love for his own city makes it that much more special for me.

I’ve been warned not to keep loose lips about the hidden gem that is Marquette so let this be our little secret.

At a cafe suitably named Route 66, I met Pao through a weekly Taipei Couchsurfing meetup. We share an immense love for travel and exposing ourselves to different cultures. She works for a local news station in Taipei translating stories into Mandarin, and at the time, I told her I felt sorry she had to deal with so much coverage of the American election. I am humbled by her kind-heartedness, genuine interest in other people’s stories, humility, and cheerful spirit, and she was kind enough to contribute some insight to life in Taiwan.

Profile / 5 Favorites 

Name:  Pao Jung Jung
Birthday: 1986/02/28
City/country you currently live in: Taipei, Taiwan
City/country where you were born: Taichung, Taiwan
Last city/country visited: The Philippines

Favorite Color: Pink
Favorite Food: Ice cream
Favorite Drink (alcoholic or non): Juice
Favorite Place Traveled: Australia
Favorite Movie or Song: Annie Hall

If you are not currently living in the city/country you were born, what was the reason for moving?

It’s always fun to see other cultures, meet people from different backgrounds and experience the things you can’t do at home. Always fun to be in an exotic place.

Name 3 things you like and 3 things you don’t like about living in Taipei

I like the convenience, and most people are really kind and friendly. There are always things to do in this big city.

I don’t like the pollution, the crowdedness, and the cost living is really high for most people, especially the youngsters.

What do you think is the biggest misconception about Taiwan?

Most people don’t know about it at all, and people who have heard about it don’t know much about it either. It’s actually quite developed, but when people hear about Taiwan, they mistake it as Thailand, or a country full of factories, which is true but we have more than just factories.

What are some things to do in your Taipei/Taiwan that can’t be found on Google?

There are so many nice little places that are quite unknown to most people, only locals know about it. So are activities, food…etc.

What one food or drink do people have to try during their visit to Taipei?

So many tea shops provide various kind of drinks that there must be something you like! And for food, if you like bizarre food, there is a lot to try at night markets, all sorts of animal organs!

What’s one thing you want people to know about life in Taipei?

There are just so many things to do and going on here, hard to pick one, but one thing I want them to know is that it’s a place to explore.

 Work / Interests

What do you do for a living? What kind of work does your specific position entail? How many hours per week do you usually work?

I am a journalist/translator, usually work for 8 hours a day, and I have to keep up with what’s happening in this world and report it in Chinese.

How long is your commute to work? How often do you take the train/bus out to neighboring cities? 

15 mins. I take bus and train quite often, although I have a scooter, but its not for long distance, so every weekend when I’m going anywhere, I take public transport.

What do you spend your downtime doing? What are your hobbies? What do you do to de-stress? What does a typical day look like for you?

Usually I hang out with friends at some restaurants or just chill out at home, I like music and movies, when I’m stressed I usually talk to friends. A typical day will include work, idling around, chitchatting with friends, just fun things in general.

Misc.

What’s a recent event you went to that you really enjoyed?

I like to explore this city so whenever I visit a nice place that I have not been to before, it’s really exciting to me.

Describe the best birthday you ever had, the best gift you ever got, and why were they so special?

There was one then I spent with a boyfriend at the time, it was a romantic surprise. I like gifts which my friends tell me how happy they are to have me in their lives.

Living the life you’ve lived, what is a valuable lesson have you learned?

Cherish important people in your life, don’t take them for granted. 

When your mind starts to wander, what do you dream about? What is one thing you want to do / accomplish? 

Dream about going somewhere beautiful with the people I like and enjoy being with. I want to see this world as much as possible.

Tell me about your involvement in CS. How did you discover the community? What was one of your best experiences with CS?

I found out about it via some friends I met in Australia.  They told me about sleeping on strangers’ sofas and it sounded fun to me. I had some hosts in Australia and they were all really awesome. They gave me the key right away, told me I could stay as long as I want, and they also showed me around, very nice experience.

Any last words?

Happy travels and happy life. I think people who like to travel are like-minded, always upbeat and positive towards life.

Being alive for nearly a quarter of a century has brought about more than one person’s fair share of valuable lessons. Finding balance requires both highs and lows. For me, the beginning of 2013 was a real low. How could that be, right? I went home to NYC, hopped across the pond to Ireland, visited Japan for the second time in 4 months, and got a taste of China through Beijing.

Well, I’ll tell you. It’s silly really because I had structured my entire return to Asia around North Korea. When I had to cancel my trip into the DPRK, I lost sight of why I bothered visiting Japan again and chose to cut my trip throughout China because of how disheartened and disappointed I felt. Biggest pity party ever! Maybe continuing through China would’ve been good for me, but it would’ve been a waste to travel with a cloud hanging over my head. Additionally, I came crawling out of China back to America with a head cold that overstayed its welcome and left me without a voice for nearly 3 weeks. It was time to be done. See also, How You Know It’s Time to Leave.

Making paper cranes at Nikko Sumica Guesthouse

Lessons Learned

There are a few lessons that have hit home recently, and they’re important to address and reflect upon because they can easily be applied to something happening in YOUR life too.

Listen to and consider what others have to say, but ultimately, it’s your life and your decision. Don’t let ANYONE pressure you out of doing something you know is the right choice for you or steer you off your path. Regarding the decision to cancel my trip to the DPRK, I disobeyed my intuition and heart, and for that I am most ashamed.

Finish what you start. It drives me mental that I can’t seem to follow through with my travel plans. I cut my first RTW trip short due to fatigue and family health issues, and of course, this most recent trip ended abruptly due to poor planning and high hopes. Which leads to my third lesson…

Stay flexible! Yep, my go-with-the-flow needs major improvement. At the age of 24, I feel this sense of urgency to see the whole world tomorrow, but as my mother always reminds me, the world isn’t going anywhere. I have my whole life to explore so I must practice going slow, staying flexible, and not getting so down on myself when my travel plans don’t pan out the way I want them to.

My cousin, Mason, and I

On Being Back in America

Now that I’ve been back home for a couple of months, I’m feeling more lost than ever. Seeing so many different countries in such a short time has left me feeling displaced in America. While I am, in fact, inching my way back up from this trough, finding my footing has been difficult, and I haven’t a clue of where I’m headed. It’s like learning to walk again. More than that, I have all of these travel experiences, stories, tips, and photos to share, and I have no idea what to do with them. They’re just sitting in my head collecting dust.

Everyday, I’m finding the patience to sit still and develop a regular routine again, but it’s like fitting a circle into a square box. Wanderlust is tugging at my soul 24/7, and trying to silence it is being untrue to who I am. So I let it consume me, making it difficult to be at home where nothing has changed except for me.

In a way, my hunger for a nomadic life has become dependent on the small world of like-minded perpetual travelers because they know the ups and downs of the addiction. They know how it feels to be humbled by people who live so large on so little, silenced and rattled by culture shock, and in awe of out of body experiences abroad. The type of people I’m drawn to and connect with so easily is changing, and I strive to stay in communication with them because they’re the strongest antidote for my anxieties.

Now, my friends at home are planning trips of their own and have invited me along to be a travel buddy. Even though I’ve had to turn down some amazing travel opportunities, I’m thrilled that they’re leaving home to seek out personal, new adventures. My friends abroad continue to encourage me to visit them in their home countries, and for that I am most grateful. It helps keep my spark to travel aflame and gives me something to look forward to. So it’s not all bad. My vision may be a little foggy right now, but I know what my future has in store for me is going to be so incredible, it sends chills up my spine.

As I mentioned in a recent update, I have a makeshift mission in mind for 2014, but it’s going to take a lot of work, will power, and money to get there. I’m not going to give anything away just yet, but I will say this. The mission has multiple parts to it, it involves the letter A, and it’s time to go live abroad for a while. After all, Henry Rollins once said…

The best way to learn about your country is to leave it.

Upcoming Travel Plans

Summer has finally arrived, and for the first time, I actually don’t have any upcoming travel plans. I recently took a couple of long weekend trips down to Florida to visit family, New Mexico to visit my friend Paloma whom I haven’t seen in 3 years, and up north to Marquette to see one of my best friends. My head is all over the place, but my heart is telling me to sit still. As I mentioned in my last update, I’m not planning to leave the continent again until next year, so until then, perhaps I’ll just randomly pop up in different places around North America. I’ll keep you in the loop.

Calendar & Misc. Updates

Expenses for China, New Mexico, and Marquette have been updated on the calendar so you can see how much I spent in each place. Take a look, if you’re curious.

Guest Posts

You got something to say? I know you do, and I want to hear it. From professional travel bloggers to free-spirited nomads, all are welcome to share any stories, triumphs, mistakes, and misadventures from the road. Please note, I’m looking for stories and not sponsored posts. See here for more info!

If you’re interested in being interviewed for the “A Day in the Life of a Local” series, reach out! Showcase the local side of where you live, broadcast to the world a cool project you’re working on, and/or share some experiences/stories from your soul.

Recent Collaborations

At the moment, I am not planning on collaborating or partnering with anyone.

Links I Loved

• 4 Things Most Native English Speakers Don’t Know About English (via Matador Network)
• 10 Forms of Entertainment in Japan (via Reykjavik Boulevard)
• The Cleaning Lady Knows (via Johnny Vagabond)
• A Year on the Road in Photos (via Bridges and Balloons)
• We Can’t Get Lost Anymore (via Thought Catalog)
• 10 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Ask for on a Plane (via Huff Post Travel)

And one video documentary about the engineering of Japan’s shinkansen trains…

What questions do you have? What do you want to know about travel? Is there a topic I haven’t covered that is eating away at your curiosity? Where can I make improvements on the site? Leave your feedback in the comments or shoot me an email to let me know.

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Until next time,

Since I left last June to travel the world, people often ask me what I do when I travel. What am I doing, seeing, and experiencing every day that makes traveling so special? What keeps me going? What does a certain place have to offer that I visit so frequently?

Heads up, you’re not going to like my answer(s).

Yes, when I first started traveling, I was highlighting all the sites in Lonely Planet books that I wanted to visit. I wore myself out every day shuffling from one tourist spot to the next, drowning in a sea of heavy crowds, and still falling asleep each night feeling unfulfilled. Surely, there had to be more to traversing the world than checking off bucket list items and overpriced souvenirs.

It wasn’t until I arrived in Istanbul that the way I travel shifted dramatically. On one of my last nights in town, I sat down to dinner in a local family’s quaint home. Over some of the most basic but delicious foods, I got a glimpse of what life is really like in Turkey, beyond what the brochures tell me. Politics, sports, food, terrorism, families, nightlife, everything. An Istanbul crash course.

It was so simple. Dinner with the locals, people who have no relation to the tourism industry. It was the local, off the beaten path, ground floor experience I had been looking for but struggled to identify. As it turns out, the answer was right in front of me the whole time. Talking to strangers is far easier because they cannot judge you based on your past. Throw a meal into the mix and cheerful conversation will take you into the night. In continuing to bond with new friends over a shared meal, I’ve found that food brings people together in a way that cannot be properly expressed in print or rated on Trip Advisor.

Intangible Collectibles

The best things I’ve done, seen, or experienced are intangible. That is to say they can only be felt and cherished internally. You cannot see them, hold them, or collect them. The smallest interactions and moments are monumental for understanding the way people live and celebrating our differences as well as the things we have in common.

• Cooking and getting to know my various Couchsurfing hosts over home cooked meals
• Watching the reactions of people as they witness random street performances
• Witnessing strength and vulnerability collide as people pray at temples and shrines
• Cooking in Osaka for my friend Masae and a young man from the UK
• Sitting and watching kids practice baseball in Tokyo
• Playing “don’t let the balloon touch the ground” with kids in Nagoya
• Engaging in conversation with neighbors on my flights to Shanghai and Dublin
• Seeing my Couchsurfing hosts getting ready for work in the morning
• People-watching over a cheap noodle dinner in Penang with my friend, Qin
• Going for a spontaneous dim sum breakfast with new friends in HK who were leaving that day
• Walking through the night markets and drinking tea by the bridge in Taipei with my friend Pao
• Playing Jenga with my friend, Brad, in Hiroshima
• Feeling at home enough in Japan to fall asleep on the train from Osaka to Kanazawa
• Going to 3 all-day dinner parties in Tokyo and meeting people from all over the world
• Watching kids splash each other in paddle boats in Ueno park
• Being invited to a curry dinner in Nagasaki with a gap year group

So if you were to read my own personal guidebook, it would have activities listed like bond with new friends in hostels over a deck of cards or board games, rent an apartment in a new city and host a dinner party to meet the locals, seize every opportunity to interact with strangers, you get the idea. Everyone has pictures of the Eiffel Tower, Taj Mahal, and the Empire State Building. Nobody has pictures of the vendor in Tsukiji Fish Market who offered me free sushi because I showed interest in their work/life, the smiling kids in Palestine who gave me a hug simply for taking their picture, or the new friends I made at a potluck dinner.

I’ve learned not to feel burdened by tourist spot hopping or constraining myself to a tight schedule. When I stop and realize that life is happening all around me, the way I travel and see the world begins to shift. Every single person passing me on the streets, sitting next to me on the train, or standing behind me in line at a restaurant is another opportunity to dig deeper into a destination. The more time I leave for aimless wandering and random interaction, the richer my days and the happier I fall asleep.

Talking to Strangers

I’m great at listening so I’ll ask people what they like to do, poke, prod, and pull stories out of them. While they’re talking, however, I’m reading their body language and observing their actions throughout the day to really peel away at their personalities, hobbies, etc. Recently, per the recommendation of a friend, I read (strong word for a picture book) a book called How Did You End Up Here? by Davy Rothbart (fellow Michigangster). It has 100 questions you can ask complete strangers or new friends, and it presents a refreshing perspective on the way we interact with eachother. It has become my bible when it comes to getting the conversation started and making people feel comfortable. After a few hours, people who were once complete strangers feel like old friends.

If you get the chance, read it. It’s a wonderful tool to have on hand to learn things about people you’d never think to ask, and it can turn into a fun game too.

Baby, it’s YOU

In short, it all circles back to people over places. There are 6 billion of us in the world each with a different story, diverse interests, souldier personalities of our own variety, and it’s YOU that makes my travels so special. It’s YOU that I want to meet, get to know, and be touched by your stories. I could skydive, climb mountains, and visit UNESCO World Heritage Sites, but it’s having YOU by my side and your commentary that keep my wanderlust alive. You’re the reason why I want to visit Argentina, Luxembourg, New Zealand, Oman, and everywhere in between.

So wherever you are and whoever you are reading this right now, I can’t wait to meet you one day and make you a part of my story of intangible travels.

There’s nothing like sticking out like a sore thumb while traveling. In terms of appearance, there wasn’t anything I could do to blend in in Reykjavik, a land of blonde hair and fair skin. Luckily, Icelandic folk are a kind breed, but what about Russia where my similar dark hair was offset by the fact that I had to walk around everywhere with a map in hand? Might as well have just hung a huge TOURIST sign above my head with flashing lights. Feeling exposed in a new environment got me thinking…

What are some ways to camouflage ourselves / disappear into the crowd to avoid unwanted attention? Just to be clear, this isn’t about changing who you are to fit in but blending in to avoid being a target for scams and such.

Janice from Solo Traveler Blog wrote a great post on how to blend in for safety purposes when you’re moving around the globe. What I want to touch more on is falling into place in a new culture for 3 months or longer.

Whether you’re hanging around for a couple of weeks, a seasonal stay, or settling into a new destination for a year or more, the first priority is to observe how people behave, interact, and do as they do. Be a fly on the wall traveler! Ask questions, talk less, listen more.

Learn/Speak the Language

This is inevitable. To be able to function within a new society, you should be able to speak the language. While it’s not impossible to live somewhere for 3+ months without knowing the local dialect, it makes the little things like ordering food, getting directions, or meeting people much easier if you do. However, if you’re looking to settle down someplace where the language is different, learning is 100% required. There’s no way around it! Above all, it shows respect for the people and their culture, and if all else is working against you, this is your in.

Mimic Fashion

In the Middle East, this means wearing conservative clothing with a scarf to cover your head, neck, and shoulders. In Australia, this means not wearing open-toed shoes in places that serve alcohol (I don’t get it either). In Asia Pacific, this means conservative, form fitting clothes like suits for guys and dresses and nice blouses for women. If you’re wearing inappropriate clothing, you may be mocked, people won’t take you seriously, and you will undoubtedly receive that unwanted attention I mentioned earlier. Mimicking fashion is the easiest way to look the part (see what I did there?).

Rent an Apartment

If you’re going to do a seasonal stay or settle down in a different country, you’ll have to find an apartment. No brainer, right? I don’t imagine living in and out of hostels or hotels would be very convenient. After you find a place that suits you, you can decorate and organize your space to make it feel like home. When the going gets rough out there, you’ll have a place to return to where you can shake off the day in solitude. Once you’re settled in, start mingling with the neighbors and forming new friendships via my next suggestion.

Host Dinner/Hangouts

Start hosting potluck dinners with the new friends you’ve made, neighbors, anyone who wants to join. It’s an easy way to introduce different people to eachother, and create your own community. A good way to jumpstart a hangout is by posting a dinner party or meetup for people in your city on Couchsurfing.org or Meetup.com. Once you get the ball rolling, it’ll be hard to stop [eating that is].

Get a Job

So how are you going to pay for all those new clothes, apartment, and food for dinner parties? Better get a job. Can you hear your parents’ voices in your head? GET A JOB! Well it doesn’t have to be all bad. Look at it as a fresh opportunity to dig deeper into your new neighborhood. You can work at a local cafe, get a job at the museum with your newly acquired language skills, teach English at a public school or be a private tutor, do some freelance work, the options are endless. Working a job is a real insider’s look to how the system works, another avenue for making new friends, and a place to observe how the locals interact with one another.

Explore in Your Spare Time

This is my favorite thing to do. When you’re not busy working or hosting friends, take the time to explore your new territory on foot. Use your feet to feel the pavement beneath you, let your eyes and ears guide you in random directions, get lost. Ride the metro to navigate around the big city that extends beyond your doorstep, become a regular at the coffee shop down the street, talk to your grocer. The more time you spend talking to people and understanding your new home, the more it will alleviate any looming culture shock.

In short, living local anywhere is essentially your same routine with a few tweaks to adapt to your new environment. The big picture is the same, but the details are different. Surely, you’ll encounter some quirks and kinks along the way, but that’s all part of the fun.

What do you do to blend into a new culture?

On my most recent visit to Japan (March 2013), I reached out to Kentaro on Couchsurfing for a casual coffee meetup and instead, ended up getting invited to his house party with my other host, Daichi. I am introducing Kentaro to you because I am impressed and inspired by how active he has become on Couchsurfing. More than that, he co-created Japanize which stemmed from the main Japan CS group and focuses on connecting foreigners with a more local experience during their visit. He recently quit his job at IBM to pursue his own business and is one of the most personable, genuine, and good humored people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. So without further adieu…

Profile / 5 Favorites

Name: Kentaro Horie
City/country you currently live in: Tokyo, Japan
City/country where you were born: Tokyo, Japan
Last city/country visited: Medan, Indonesia

Favorite Color: Yellow
Favorite Food: Curry
Favorite Drink (alcoholic or non): Beer
Favorite Place Traveled: Medan, Indonesia, Varanasi, India, Nice, France
Favorite Movie or Song: Momoiro Clover (a Japanese idol group)

Why do you travel? Why do you think it’s important for people to travel?

I just wanna know what I don’t know, and I wish more people would travel abroad because travel removes our barriers and stereotypes and makes my world more open. This might lead us to a peaceful world.

Why should people visit Japan?

Mmm…I don’t think foreign people should visit Japan, but if there are people who think Japan is a nice country and Japanese people are nice, I want them to come to Japan and see the reality. Japanese people don’t have dreams and are not interested in others. It’s a very cold country, and I’m happy if they can find out how warm their countries are from us.

Tell us a bit about Japanize. What inspired you to start Japanize? What can people expect from the events?

Since I started hosting people via Couchsurfing, I found that our differences are amazing, and I want more people to start hosting. Actually, Japanize started from another group named “CouchSurfing.jp”, a group aimed to make more hosts in Japan.

However, we failed at this project because it’s so hard for Japanese people to host foreign strangers. On the other hand, we found that there are many Japanese people who are really interested in communicating with foreign people. So we changed the concept to introduce Japanese culture and Japanese people via offline communication.

People can expect real Japanese experiences and find Japanese friends who create our culture.

You recently left Japanize and your job at IBM to start your own business. What are you hoping to accomplish with your new project? What is one thing you want to accomplish in your lifetime?

I wanna connect the world. I wanna erase all discriminations and stereotypes from the world. So I want more people to travel around the world, to make new friends all around the world, and to start enjoying our differences. I want to create a way for people in developed countries to enjoy traveling more and provide ways to earn money for people in developing countries to travel abroad. Through these accomplishments, I wanna generate more communications between people across the border. 

Couchsurfing

Tell us about your involvement in CS. How did you discover the community? What was one of your first experiences with CS?

I knew CS from a book named “SHARE,” and now, I’m mainly hosting in Tokyo.

My first experience in CS was surfing in Jakarta, Indonesia. I was so impressed by the host then, and my image of traveling totally changed. At the same time, I decided to be a host dedicated to the CS community.

To you, what are the major benefits of CS? Why should people sign up for the site/get involved?

For me, the reason for hosting people is just to expand my world.

Of course some people are just looking for places to stay for free via CS, but the rest are in the CS community for the same reason, and it’s my pleasure to spend my time with those kind of people.

Craziest/strangest story or experience from a meetup/hosting/surfing?

Hard to answer, but the first experience in CS (surfing in Jakarta, same as above) was the most amazing experience. It changed my whole life.

Most valuable lesson learned from Couchsurfing?

The fact that I noticed that “differences” are what to enjoy and not to hate.

Anything upcoming you’re excited about that you’d like to share? Any last words?

Look forward to my website! It will lead more people to the culture of Couchsurfing and change the world.