A  Sashihara Scandal?! What of it?

 Okay, so news is flying around about Sashihara Rino being involved in a sex scandal from when she was 15 or 16 years old. The last few days I’ve been thinking and right before this news surfaced I’d officially made Sashihara Rino my oshimen. No more Daredemo Daisuki for this wota, no sir. Don’t get me wrong, I still love everyone equally, but Sasshi is atop! Nearly at the exact time when I made this profound deceleration, the scandal news surfaced, almost as if to test me.

Before I read anything I understood that there’d be a high chance (excuse my unscientific and totally pulled from my ass statistics) that it’d be fabricated slander, since 81% of all scandal stories appear to be. So I went and calmly read the allegations, quite the opposite reaction from the time I saw headlines of Hirajima Natsumi’s scandal, where I bugged the fuck out and almost rage cried at work before even reading the news.

Now what I’m about to openly admit here is a bit strange and honestly, I’m not sure why I feel this way– but I’ve decided to stop spending hours of introspection on every thought and feeling I have, but… I got really excited to read just what the scandal was. So I approached the read just as skeptical as enthusiastic. Reading about a curious, hormone filled ecchi Sasshi who quickly and boldly took charge, seducing and educing sexual desire from her wota boyfriend gave me an instant nosebleed. I mean, that’s the same topic I wrote so passionately about when I first opened this blog!!!  (There’s Room For The Tainted Idol | Breaking News! Your Oshimen had a scandal…) You can’t help but imagine yourself in the story, or at least wish you were apart of it. But with all this said, its somewhat apparent that this “scandal” is little more than some wota fan-fiction disguised in importance.

I think its fake, but not because I’m gullible and believe in the purity of an Idol. But rather, the evidence is inconclusive and hardly incriminating. Its a classic he says she says, nothing more. The pictures are hardly evidence of anything. None of the bra shots are connected to a face. Although the photos aren’t obvious, there are many of them and perhaps can somehow reinforce the validity of the claim?  The supposed fact that he has her number and she admits to him being a friend does give the claim 99.1% more credibility though. However, since that claim is also product of the very same suspect newspaper…. we really can’t jump to conclusions. I want to hear about this from a more credible source. If Sashihara herself, or AkiP issues a statement confirming at the very least the truth behind the phone call taking place, I believe there’s reason enough to believe that Sashihara is guilty. You gotta consider the timing of this though. Sashihara Rino jumps to fourth place, then she scandals? Could just be an upset Wota with an agenda.

While I think this is just an immature rumor, there’s a side of me that knows that anything is possible. And strange enough, that side of me also wishes that all this buzz was true. I can honestly say that I’d like Sashihara all the more if it were. I really like to embrace all aspects of an Idol, not just the image she sells me. When my interest in an particular idol grows to the level of interest I have in an Idol like Sasshi, I want to know about this side of them as well. In a sense this blunder would match Sashihara’s character, being a closet ecchi and a failure. Of course, for the sake of her career I hope all of this disappears and fast.

I’m surprised my opinion on Idol scandals hasn’t changed over all this time, I thought it would definitely. Sashihara Rino is still my “Dream Girl”. It takes a lot more than a scandal, or an allegation to waver my support and love for an Idol. My appreciation for an Idol isn’t indebted to their personal lives, but to the entertainment they provide me. I still love Nacchan and I still love Sasshi, true or false, what of it?

So, its that time of the year again. A time where wota the world over are brought together to fight for their members in the most brutal popularity contest ever witnessed!  Wota vote for their favorite members in hopes to make an impact on their rankings, propelling their member to senbatsu royalty status within the AKS multiverse! You get a voting ticket and you chose the member you like best. Seems pretty straight forward, don’t it? Well its not that easy for a DD!!! And to my dismay, I’ve been born cursed one.

So, just how does a DD go about voting? Well, in a perfect world they’d have hundreds of voting tickets to easily split votes between members. Ah, sleepin’ easy. Too bad this world ain’t perfect and most of us refuse to spend a months rent on fifty extra copies of a CD. So in respects to our wallets, I’ll attempt to assist other DDs overcome this difficulty by sharing my own processes at a liberation.

I only have two tickets myself,  I’ve used one vote and am currently deciding my second. As I attempt to assist others overcome their vote block, I’ll also be applying my methodology to myself in hopes of overcoming my own. The last election I couldn’t make a decision, so I chose not to vote at all. This year I feel much more involved and obligated to vote. Why? Well, I’m that much more depraved than I was last year.  Not voting is not an option for me anymore, the wota has grown strong in this one.

TIP #01

Default your “oshimen” rank:

I told myself a long time ago that no matter what I’d always vote Sashihara. I feel incredibly close to her and its because of this, despite being a DD I reluctantly default the title of oshimen to her. Damn, but even calling Sasshi my “default Oshimen” pains me to the core. The concept of oshimen is a cruel one. I liken it to a parent having to choose one child over another– but discussing my views on the concept of “Oshimen” is a topic for another time.

The reason I can reluctantly give Sashihara this title of “default oshimen”, is because I see longevity in my interests in her. I have a strong feeling that at the end of days, when I graduate being a wota and look back as an old man at these confused times, Sashihara will be the one I remember best. She’ll still put smiles on my face and remind me of a time when I breathed, slept and ate 48– my memory of her will shine brightest. But, yes.. I don’t have an actual Oshimen. And the most I can do, in respects to my prediction of future self.. is promise Sashihara my support in this present day.

I recommend trying to establish a “default oshimen” for yourself. Its incredibly difficult and the pain of bestowing such a title on a single member, everlasting. However, there’s many benefits in using a “default oshimen” setup, one being–easier voting. Consider which member will most likely be your fondest memory in twenty years and default her as your oshimen.

The difficulties surrounding this decision has gotten me to the point where I’m about to default the vote to Sashihara. I feel a single vote doesn’t really make a significant impact, so I have an incentive to use my second vote on her as well  (not that two votes is much more profound). There are countless members I want to help. The list is ridiculously long, so I’ve spent the last few days doing anything possible to trim it down. I’ve used two basic methods, raffling and well.. creating a philosophical, self centered formula to help enforce and clearly distinguish the best possible choice.

TIP#02

Create a false sense of relevance:

A vote is a very personal subject. Regarding my feelings on the matter, I wan’t my vote to be felt by its recipient. But of course, the recipient can’t feel individual votes, my good will and hopes can’t be conveyed via a sole vote. How could I connect with my vote recipient in a way that allows me, as a selfish wota, feel relevant?

When a member gets ranked, expect her get emotional. Happy, sad, angry, content, or maybe even a mixture of all these emotions. I can’t imagine any member being utterly impartial in her appearance upon receiving her rank. Realize that though a single vote doesn’t seem to matter, it does. Every vote matters and effects the outcome. Therefore when a member goes up to receive her rank, she’s actually receiving her fans. If anything, this is as close a fan can get to a member aside from a handshake event– but in a sense, all the more intimate. Shaking your filthy paw is far less appealing to an Idol than it is to a Wota. Now votes? Those matter to her. When a member goes up and gets ready to give her speech, if she breaks down and starts crying out of happiness, you’re her tears. You went into that and could be directly linked to what ever emotion she’s outputting at the time.

TIP#3

Weigh your vote: 

With that view established, the question becomes; just who’s reaction do I want to be apart of? I’d like to feel somewhat responsible for putting a smile on a member’s face, knowing that I did my part to allow her to feel that moment of joy. At the same time, I wouldn’t want to feel responsible for a member who desperately needed votes and got none. It becomes a game of measure. You need to compare and contrast the pros and cons of your vote. Consider who’s emotions you’ll be directly effecting and how it’ll effect you.

Think “Which member needs me most?”. Then take into account which member(s) would take a low ranking the best. I was able to quickly drop a few candidates based solely off of me feeling they’d be strong enough to take the blow of a disapointing rank, shrug it off and keep their heads held high. Then to further assist in my decision, I took to the Senbatsu Appeal videos. I watched a handful belonging to those who survived my preliminary cut offs. Most of the appeal videos were unmemorable and failed to convey anything worth noting. However, a few videos spoke to me– therefore have become my final candidates.

TIP#4

Create a goal for your vote:

Katayama Haruka

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She’s been in AKB for a long time but has never ranked well. I feel she’s one of the more underappreciated members. She’s funny, talented and has a good image. Perhaps its due to a lack of any one outstanding trait that she isn’t noticed, but she’s definitely a well rounded entertainment personality and a versatile performer.  She’s older than the majority of members and probably doesn’t have too much time left in AKB. She’s requested fans be apart of her “Katayama Revolution”!  Its like I’ve been called to arms!

MY VOTING GOAL: To lead the “Katayama Revolution”. To enforce her and give her a much needed and long overdue moral boost. I’m afraid for members like her, I don’t want to see her graduate because she gave up on herself as an idol (although, this isn’t Katayama’s character). I don’t want to see her cry, I don’t want her to feel unwanted or unappreciated.

Nakagawa Haruka

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Another member I consider underappreciated. I’ve always had a strong liking for Harugon. At the beginning it was more on a visual level, but as I got to know her a bit better I not only noticed her many cute and subtle qualities, but her talents. I’ve always been confused as to why she isn’t popular. With someone like Katayama, I can sort of understand it, but Harugon seems to have it going on at all times. Maybe someone like Katayama has the right personality qualities to shine, but in the wrong packaging for the Idol world, while Nakagawa has the right packaging but lacks that much needed attention grabbing personality? I don’t know.

I really respect her approach in this appeal video. I don’t feel she should push herself into acting more mature, but I respect her for being open about her introspection of character, as well as inviting her fans to assist and monitor her growth as a person. No matter how trivial, I like when an Idol displays a goal that isn’t necessarily work related. It adds another dimension to their character, allowing fans to connect with them on a more realistic and sincere level.

MY VOTING GOAL: I want to help Harugon achieve a higher rank to help her gain the confidence and focus she needs to achieve her own personal goals.

Shimada Haruka

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As everyone can clearly tell, I have an affinity for girls named Haruka. Undoubtedly, Shimazaki Haruka would make this list too–  if she wasn’t the embodiment of Satan.

Shimada’s a member I really, really like. She’s the first Team 4 member I became a fan of and my Team 4 oshimen. Whenever I see Shimada on variety shows I get super excited, in my eyes she’s the queen of variety. I love her boyish laid back attitude coupled with her tomboy look. She’s super cute but never portrays herself as such, at the same time hardly puts emphasis on her boyish qualities (unlike Sae). It makes her seem much more real and not like she’s playing a role. Shimada is Shimada, take her or leave her. Her appeal video started off fairly boring, I was just about to write her off. When she opens her shirt, I still felt “whatever“. But then, “This isn’t my underwear, nobody get excited, although I know nobody will” – this is what I love about Shimada Haruka.

I love how casual the joke was and the that she said it in passing, without disrupting the flow of the message she was trying to deliver her fans. I like that she dismisses herself with “although I know nobody will” — this slight self deprecating crack, shows humility and insecurity at the same time. However, strangely enough it does more to display her confidence. I like Shimada Haruka as a performer, I like Shimada Haruka as a person. I respect how she puts herself out there. Her attitude’s simply wonderful. She isn’t the most confident and seems very aware of her shortcomings, yet always seems to take them head on. That’s something most members simply wont do. This is something I call“Shimada Style”. 

MY VOTING GOAL: Get Shimada some attention. Make the world notice “Shimada Style”. The girl’s simply a trooper. She daringly steps up to the plate whenever she has to. My respect and admiration for Shimada Haruka grows each day.

Komori Mika

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Okay, I can try and rationalize this vote… but I’m not going to, this girl’s my guilty pleasure.

Last year, the way Komori received her rank (squealing), really made me take notice. She quickly became one of my favorite members. I love the fact that there’s two worlds, our world and the one in Komori’s head. When I watch her on shows she keeps me gushing with laughter and soft warm brownie feelings. I really can’t explain it at all. Komori’s, so god damn perfect. I don’t want to sound like a perv, but hell I already run an Idol blog.. Komori looks so soft and I love to imagin— you know, I’m going to just stop here because there’s really no Komori Mika statement I can release that won’t make me sound just horrible. I’d dirty, dirty things to that girl.

What I like about this Appeal Video is simply Komori herself. Look at her.. she’s so damn strange. When I look at her I feel I’m ten years younger, she makes me stupid. And that may sound like some sort of insult, but I mean it in the most complimentary way. I feel she embodies innocence. She’s like a newborn that’s taking in the world for the first time, with nothing but wonder in her eyes.

MY VOTING GOAL: Since Komori shows a real aspiration in ranking up and I feel she’s childlike, I don’t want her to lose her excitement and prospects. The worst thing is giving a child a bad Christmas or birthday party! I want to protect her excitement, if that makes any sense at all. Yo, and I really love that DD-esque statement at the end of the video “I love everyone“, I’m feelin’ that.

                So in conclusion, I don’t know who my last vote will go to. I really gotta think it over some more and weigh the pros and cons of my vote choice. Really, I don’t think this “guide” is all that guiding. Its just me trying to sort my own convoluted thoughts and feelings. Figured I’d share it will the world just in case someone did actually find some use in it. Writing this out on the 3rd of June is pretty damn late, but I haven’t written anything in months, so I figured I’d slap one out before the Elections happen.  After writing all this nonsense, my thoughts have become a bit clearer at least. Writing that segment about Shimada Haruka, I feel I can drop her from my list. She seems like she could take a disapointing rank this year, she’s young and strong willed. Her time should come, maybe not this year or the next, but she’ll have her moment.

The thing that sucks is, I’ve remembered a few other members I feel obligated to help, like Iwasa Misaki who I promised I’d support wholeheartedly. Talk about a monkey wrench!

Now, to change the subject… I’ll post a picture of Komori changing the subject by impersonating a professional wrestler.

              Leading up to the concert                          

On March 26th I traveled down to Washington D.C. for AKB48′s performance at the National Cherry Blossom Festival.

In the days surrounding the event,  I had been a complete and utter wreck. I’d never been to a concert before and the idea of going to one where I was a huge fan of the performers was nerve-wracking. Despite that, I decided to commit to seeing AKB on that day. A side of me wanted to miss the show, my logicial side. The placement of this concert was inconvenient for multiple reasons. Thankfully, my Wota passions engulfed me and I ended up making the right decision.

Up until the day of my commute, I had been considering all the terrible things that could possibly happen if I went. Awful, horrible, life destroying moments that would permanently damage me. “What if I lock eyes with Takajo Aki?”, was probably atop the list, but trust me when I say that the list was plentiful– as well as painfully etched into every dark, damped, desolate, disturbed and disgusting section of my mind.

Getting a good night’s rest was difficult. The idea of seeing these goddesses in person was a concept too extreme for me to handle (hell..  it still is, even after the fact). Up until that time, my connection with these Idols has been solely through my computer screen. It was hard for me to believe that these girls actually existed in the real world and were no different from any of us.

The odds of having to interact with any one of these members was slim, but my mind was constantly imagining scenarios where it’d happen. For the two weeks leading up to D-day, I’d be psyching myself out.

March 27th

The Line

I arrived at the event at around 9:30am, there were already about 20 people gathered. I was meeting with an online friend for the first time who I just got into Idols a few months ago. He was mingling with all the more experienced Wota around him. One of which, a Japanese girl named Kiki (I believe that was her name). She brought a massive bag of hats, one for each member. Walking up and down the line, she’d collect wishes and signatures from everyone. Although she was small, she really seemed to be the head Wota there.

I felt a bit odd so I only signed a single hat. That hat being Fujie Reina’s, “Thank you for coming to America! Please come back again! I love you” – I wrote it in English as well as Japanese, taking up a pretty large section of the availalbe space. I went to sign Minegishi Minami’s, but her popularity was apparent when I noticed a tornado of chicken scratch and emoticons. There was virtually no room whatsoever left to write on, so I just put the hat back in the bag.

Before I continue, I want to say that I was fairly bitter throughout most of my time at the concert. And the experience of the event wasn’t all that great until after the fact. As each day passes, I gain more appreciation for the experience I was lucky to have.

In just two days, the event went from being “hmmm, I don’t know” to “that was the most amazing experience of my life”. With that said, as each day passes I also find more regrets. One of those regrets being not signing all of the hats. At the very least I should have signed my favorite members’. Of course there’s no telling if they’ll actually wear the hats, but now the subject’s become a negative “what if?” when it could’ve been a positive one.

Meeting New School Kaidan!

I had plans to meet up with the guys from New School Kaidan and was really excited to do so. Theirs was the first Idol site I found and had lurked there reading articles, as well as listening to podcasts for nearly a year before registering an account to finally interact with them. I’ve always wanted to be apart of NSK, but out of fear of rejection never pursuied those interests. I’ve seen it grown from three members, to four, to five, to the six hundred and some odd number of members that now contribute to the NSK site. They’re all really cool guys and keep me laughing whenever I tune into their podcasts.

I went to look for them on the line and the moment I rose my head to do so, I saw them standing not but twenty feet from me. I went over and introduced myself (I think they were weirded out, haha).

The first one who caught my eye was t3hDave, who I’ve always liked a lot. He entertained the most conversation with me out of NSK, a really pleasant person, my internet impression of him held up well in the real world. I wouldn’t be surpised if he became my NSK oshimen.

Meeting Tron was great and a tad surreal. Almost felt like meeting a celebrity, he’s a really nice guy and I admire him for snatching up a press pass. That’s something I attempted to do myself, but in my “What if Takajo Aki makes eye contact with me?!” stress, gave up on early. Apparently, a bit more persistence in my emailing may have landed me a press pass as well. So I left my DSLR camera at home in disappointment. Tron and I didn’t speak much, but when we did, he was really friendly. And the only one from NSK who approached me on his own, multiple times. Tron’s awesome and I hope to get to meet again one day, preferably in the press section.

I was excited to meet Anthony Hagiwara most of all. We both have a strong love for Nakagawa Haruka, which I feel is rare (?). Any man who calls Harugon his Oshimen, is a friend of mine. It was great to meet him, but sadly we didn’t speak much beyond our introductions.

Then there was David Liao, who I didn’t even know would be coming. I always wanted words with him because from listening to NSK’s podcasts, I know we share many similar opinions. However a conversation never really happened. Can’t blame him, he was on a taquito hunt for Tron at 7-Eleven. Either it was due to me not speaking loud enough, or his mind being elsewhere, my attempts at conversation were met with silence. Points though, the guy heard my name once and remembered it throughout the rest of our exchanges throughout the day. I admire someone who can do that since I’m shit with names (unless those names belong to cute girls in short skirts of course). Makes me think despite there being no real conversation between us, he’d retain anything he did manage to hear– even if he didn’t respond to it. A true master of the multitask.

Tron, t3hDave and Anthony after the 2nd show

I also saw a lurker from NSK, missingno15. I didn’t introduce myself however, because I doubt he even knows who I am. But it was still nice to put a face to the screen name, that’s always a treat so I was really happy to see him.

Overall, meeting the NSK cats was a highly enjoyable precursor to the event that was about to take place. Had I not got a chance to speak to Tron, t3hDave, David Liao and Anthony, my experience wouldn’t have been as grand. I’ve never met so many friendly people at once. But it wasn’t just NSK, the atmosphere in general was warm and inviting. Literally everyone who lined up that day quickly embraced their neighbors. It was really nice. Perhaps that’s the norm for wota, but, from the type of communities I’m accustomed to, its completely alien.

Ah, on the discussion of introductions, meeting people and first impressions.. I’d been trying to get a hair cut for days, but had been too busy though. I also ran of out my hotel without doing anything with my hair. I felt like a complete slob around everyone–which was another small regret. Although their impressions of me, meant dick. I was more concerned about locking eyes with Takajo and having her see me in my horrible state. Which I’m sure she did, because we did lock eyes twice…. or did we? Damn.

 The Concert

Once they let us in, I was anxious to get a great seat. I had to control my instincts, which told me to start tossin’, knocking out anyone in front of me. Women, children, security, hell.. I’d even knock out an Idol if I had to. Thankfully, I acted my age. But when I landed in the 3rd or 4th row, I was pissed!! I was still incredibly close to the stage, but at the time desperately wanted those glorious panty shot seats, despite being frightened at the idea of being that close. While we waited for the show to start and for everyone to be seated, they were playing AKB songs lightly in the background. Being bored, I whipped out my tablet and synchronized my Namida Surprise PV with the song, held it over my head for the rest of the venue to watch. I heard quiet a few reactions, I felt relevant and totally bad ass, +1.

Then Takamina got on the mic from behind the curtain, talked a bunch of shit, totally hyping the crowd. At that time I started to realize that this was really about to happen. My heart rate began to pick up. The crowd settled, just to once again ignite at the sound of the overture. Everyone began shooting up out of their seats, the lights dimmed dark. At that point my heart rate accelerated, launching it from my chest into the first row– but it was nothing I couldn’t handle.

Once the overture ended, there was an oddly quiet buzz. I was literally afraid at that point. I knew it was coming and before I had the chance to run out of the theater, there was an explosion. The familiar sound waves smashed into me from all angles, trapping my body, arresting my breath– before me was an image I had seen time and time again, but this time it was alive.

The familiar tune of Flying Get! resonated throughout the hall. And on the stage, there they were. Writing about it now, is bringing up emotions similar to the ones I felt during those few opening seconds. I was frightened and felt my eyes start to water. The initial poses that AKB strikes at the start of every Flying Get! performance lasts but a few seconds. But in my mind, it lasted an eternity. The lights, the sound, the members, it all hit me at once– enchanting me. It was a sensory overload and simply the most surreal experience I’ve had in my life.

The most breath taking thing being their beauty. In remembering these moments, I’m getting choked up. Their initial appearance was profound enough to conjure up the strangest mixture of emotions in me. Happiness, envy, anger, love, hate? Honestly, I’m still untangling these feelings and thoughts as the days go. Half of these powerful emotions I felt, I have no answers for and are genuinely confusing me. However, I won’t deny that in my cocktail of emotions there were many negative ones present. And I think these negative emotions greatly disturbed me, upsetting me to the core almost instantaneously after identifying them. I found myself subconsciously arguing, questioning and lecturing myself all within the first 30 seconds of the opening act. Time had stood still.

“DVD doesn’t do them justice, you gotta see them on Bluray”, this is a frequent statement of mine aimed towards friends whom I try to convert wota. This was a statement I felt strongly about, but was a statement that was standard to a time where my only exposure to AKB was over TVs and computers. There is no way to watch AKB, but live. Realizing this, I slowly saw my large AKB CD, DVD and Bluray collection become miniscule and entirely irrelevant. When I watch AKB on a computer screen, I think “these girls aren’t so good.. their dances are pretty uncoordinated and even lack energy at times“. What I saw in person wasn’t what I had been used to. Its easy to sit back and pick them apart from afar while on the other end of a monitor, but when you’re right there, you belong to them. The aspects of the energy and life of the show, is incomparable to anything. And it sure as hell can’t be recorded, packaged or collected.

The first person I noticed was Umeda Ayaka. While everyone had their part in turning the stage a glow, she was the first to grab my attention. Umeda Ayaka was a member I never liked, to be honest I’ve always considered her ugly (crazy right?). Perhaps its the way she parts her hair, its always been a pet peeve of mine. I walked into that concert a Umeda Ayaka hater, came out a fan. She was gorgeous.. and that’s an understatement.

I think I might have focused on her longer than I would have–despite my sudden revelation in regards to her beauty,  simply due to having tunnel vision. I was literally shaken to the core!

Out of fear I was unable to move my sight from the first person I saw, which just happened to be her. I was scared to see anyone else so I kept my eyes fixated. Then time froze once again. I realized that if seeing Umeda Ayaka in person could drastically 180 my opinion of her, then seeing a member I actually ”liked” would be just down right dangerous. This theme of wearing horse blinders would surface again later throughout different times in the show.

I finally started to come back to reality. Time resumed and while only a minute had passed, I was completely exhausted. All around me, Wota were yelling, waving glow sticks and embracing these Idols with warm smiles and heavy cheers. My glow sticks stayed down by my legs while I stood there slowly regaining my wits. Almost as if I were translating the reality of the situation in order to finally be able to comprehend it.

By the sound of the chorus, my eyes resetted and finally embraced the stage. I felt a sense of total awe and calm. But towards the end of the song, envy and anger. I was envious of their beauty. Which I still don’t understand (because I’m a guy), then angry because they were so much more beautiful in person than they were on TV, I felt lied to! I was upset all these people around me were sharing this with me. I felt greed envelope me, why wasn’t this a private show just for me!?

The song came to an end and the crowd roared, during this time my heart was racing so fast I felt sick. The adrenline rush was unlike anything I’ve felt before. My hands started to shake slightly. In another life, I competed in combat sports. I’ve been in the ring against guys who wanna break my nose with their shin, no fear. I stand before a group of teenage girls dancing and I lose all composer. It was quiet funny thinking about that, it lightened my mood considerably.

As usual, the members on stage began to do their introductions. Something I’ve grown tired of seeing on TV, but in person was exciting. The intros were playful and interactive, typical of AKB. I had been fairly silent, giving only mild cheers to my favorites on stage. I felt a bit awkward yelling in a crowd since it was my first time at a concert—another regret of mine, if there’s a next time I’ll be sure to let lose and release all my wota flame.

Honestly, its therapeutic and I wouldn’t feel the need to write all this nonsense here, had I taken the time then to open up. When it was Lemon’s turn to say hello to the crowd, I couldn’t help myself. I started to laugh even before she opened her mouth. As she began her trademark sentence, I lost all restraints and joined her and the crowd “Fresh Lemon ni naritai no!“.

“Oh man, this is too good to be happening” – I said to my brother, who I brought along for the trip. A casual fan with a few favorites then, but on the road to Wota today. He had gone to many concerts, being fan of some pretty extreme genres of Metal, however even he lost himself at the sight of Sae, Miichan and Lemon, who were his favorites in attendance. With Sae being his long time Oshimen.

Today he entered my room asking me for songs, PVs as well as attempted to drink from my knowledge juice. He told me that he actually felt nervous, his heart was racing just as mine was. He mentioned how it was weird for him to feel that way because he’s been to bigger shows, for artists he’s more enthusiastic about, but has never felt that way before. “The energy at that concert was bizarre and something magical“. Suffice to say, he’s grown much more interested in AKB48 due to this experience.

As the show went on, I’d open up more. I went from being completely frozen in place, to doing Wota mixes and waving out dances with my glowsticks. Most of the show is a blurred memory now. I can hardly remember anything other than my hardships during the initial performances. I can only recall being blown away by each song. One of the most surpising things were the Kenkyuusei. I figured the show would be lacking due to the high amount of them present.. but they really brought it. They did an outstanding job and although they’re nameless in the Idol world, having them perform in front of me didn’t diminish from the show whatsoever.

Throughout the show I wasn’t sure if I should watch individual members, or watch the group. I do however know, I probably thought about it too much. I was in a moment of panic where no matter how I tried to enjoy the show, I’d consider other ways to try and do it better. In trying to optimize my enjoyment of the show I achieved the opposite.

In the end, I found myself most focused on Fujie Reina, Takajo Aki and Minegishi Minami. Even in the second show, I found myself doing the same. I did get a moment to admire Lemon’s small stature though, haha. Fujie Reina’s hair caught my eye. I was entranced by her beauty and couldn’t stop watching her. That smile! She’s so pretty, her lips and eyes kill me, but I spent most my time looking at her hair. Made me want to be a stylist– she’s so fine.

Her raident smile, bested only by Takajo’s. In preparing for the show, I had already considered who I’d favor watching. Takajo was a no brainer for me, since she was going to be my favorite member attending the show (ogh, that’s hard to say. I hate using “favorite” when discussing AKB members). Takajo was the member I was most emotional for. I would say she’s the one responsible for many of my mood swings. I couldn’t believe that my woman was so close to me and she didn’t realize she was “my woman”. The inability to speak to her and have her aknoweldge my existence gave me a terrible feeling of desperation. Almost as if I had one last chance to confess my love before my soul mate would leave forever–yet everything’s getting in my way. Sounds like the premise to a romantic comedy staring -insert overpaid actor here-.

Oh, but wait. What? Takajo saw me? Wait, not only did she see me, but she acknowledged my existence with a hand gesture? No way. Truly an overactive and wishful mind at play.

“Takajo looked at me!!!”

Back at the hotel, my brother, friend and I would joke about the whole “Takajo looked at me!” thing. We also had an in-depth discussion on her magnificent thighs. I was first to point out the improbability of it all, being a realist. I understand that when someone focuses their eyes and looks into a group of people, many people in the group would feel that person’s looking directly at them. But hey, for the sake of this long ass tale, hear me out.

I’d been yelling Takajo’s name quiet a bit, I was in the third or fourth row and there was hardly anyone else calling her. Not to mention, I had an obnoxious florescent green Hirajima Natsumi shirt on. Anyone would see me.. I also tower above most people. One of the times she “noticed me” was right after a song had finished, I yelled “Akichaaaaaaa!!!” and she locked eyes with me for a good 2-3 seconds, lightly nodded with her mega cheesin’ smile and then looked away. The other moment, a bit more far fetched and amazing– when she was leaving the stage I yelled “Takajoooooooooooooooo!!!” in a fairly quiet moment. She turned around and looked dead at me (seemingly) and gave me half a heart (her other hand was holding her mic). I returned the gesture then she nodded, totally confirming our full-heat connection, turned back around and finished exiting the stage.

We completed the heart together. Its safe to say, she wants me to find her and marry her. I can’t interpret this in any other way.

Okay, chances are that none of these actions on Akicha’s part were aimed towards me. But as the author I’m entitled to some liberties, I’m the main character and the main character is always relevant!  Honestly, I hope she didn’t notice me. Aside from not having a haircut, gaining some weight and looking like an utter slob I’m simply not ready to be seen by Takajo. Seeing her in person and validating her beauty has solidified her in my top tier list as a performer..  but I’m certain that I must marry that woman one day. The sad case is that she’ll never know me, I’ll never know her and she’ll probably live a great life after marrying some random Japanese cat with a big wallet and a small di– such is life.

Maybe if I work overtime at getting to Japan and become a star… I can have a small nuance of a chance with her. I don’t care if its a scandal or after she graduates. Preferably a scandal though, so some angry wota can type out passionate defense for her staying in AKB48. I bet the schmuck would name the article something like, “There’s room for the tainted Idol“.

In Closing

Some said the setlist was very good, I didn’t think so though. It wasn’t a bad setlist, but it could have been much better and most defintely longer.  The concert was incredibly short. Not only did they perform few songs, but they performed the cut versions of them. In speaking with NSK afterwards, most of us agree’d we wanted the 2nd concert to mix up the setlist. Why have two small concerts back to back, rather than have one long concert? “Short but sweet” can be applied to this concert. But I think a more proper label would be “tease“.

For the 2nd show, all we got was some new MCing. I liked Takamina’s Kamehameha, Akicha talking about her dogs and Sae waiting for the stupid translator to be found “Oh no… ” – Sae.

Unexpectedly, I walked out a fan of Hirata Rina. I never thought I’d ever care for a Kenkyuusei, however in my opinion she did really great. The thirteen year old “Hirari” used her English speaking abilities to win the crowd over. It was simply adorable and you could tell she was really nervous, she had many fumbles in speaking despite having perfect English.

She had a ton of energy in her dancing, at times even more so than some of the vets. Between that, being fluent in English and having one of the cutest introductions I’ve ever seen… I’m looking forward to watching Hirata Rina in the future and hope to see her perform at the theater one day.  Most definitely the youngest member I’ve ever become a fan of. But damn, she was too cute.

The 2nd concert wasn’t as good as the first, not for me. I was sat further back which greatly effected my enjoyment of the show, the one saving grace, the seats being right behind NSK. Anthony almost knocked me out a few times with his glowsticks. The view sucked compared to the first show. But still shitted on the view from behind a computer screen.

Between the length of the shows, the members who attended, not getting a press badge (Who knows when I’ll have another chance to photograph AKB, more than likely never) and having a many small regrets here and there, I was sour.  It took me awhile to finally appreciate the show. But once I did, I quickly realized it was an experience like no other.

Honestly, it was the most enjoyable moment of my life. And I’ve lived an exciting life thus far, so save the jokes (*middle finger*). I can safely say there’s no other way to watch AKB than in person. Nothing compares to the energy they bring to the stage, nothing. The day after the show I checked my bank accounts and started planning a trip to Japan with the sole purpose of seeing them perform again. The live show has now become my standard, there’s nothing that can substitute it.

The intimacy of the theater attracts me. Having been stage side in D.C for the 1st show, then being sat further back for the 2nd, I know that there’s nothing like being right underneath the stage. So now I’m super excited to get to the theater as soon as possible. Its a bit lame because the theater’s running rampant with Kenkyuusei at the moment, but at least I have my Kenkyuusei Hirata Rina to support. However although the theater is the most attractive destination, I’ll be heading over to Japan for the Tokyo Dome show. Hopefully I’ll be able to swing around to a theater show that week, two birds with one stone… and a lot of money.

This article’s gone on far longer than I thought it would. And honestly if I didn’t force myself to stop here, it’d continue and possibly double in size. There were so many things that went on that day. I’m leaving out tons of great little tidbits. But I guess there’s a time where you need to evaluate yourself, realize that more than likely nobody cares for your story and just stop short. Although there’s a chance nobody will read this, this post was definitely more for me, than anyone else. I used this to write down some of my feelings and impressions, ones I never want to forget.

I appeared all over Japanese news! For long duration’s of time too!

This show in Washington D.C has infected me. I have an uncontrollable urge to go to every AKB48 show possible. I can’t help but feel I’ve been missing out this entire time. Now my mission is to live up to the name “WanderingWota” and get to wandering!

1830 m The distance from the theater in Akihabara to the Tokyo Dome?

15428780.928 M  

That’s the distance from New York to Tokyo!  Lets Go!

In my small world, the thought of seeing AKB live has been scary. So I’m overly anxious and sensitive to everything AKB related at the moment. That’s when I heard the completely retarded announcement of Jurina moving to Team K, etc. Felt it was time to finally go and kick AkiP’s ass, but with my bank account looking a bit weaker after booking my DC hotel and Bus tickets, I decided to catch myself and save it for later.

WH7 is an important subject for me. Not only is it my favorite subgroup, but its probably my most sought after product of the AKB family. I own more WH7 products than I do AKB48. I really care for the group. With that said, I’m protective of it and completely biased– and proud.

After reading that CinDy would fill the void left by Nacchan, the only reaction I had was “what the fuck?”. In my opinion, that was the most random choice for the 7th spot opening. I’m really not quiet understanding the logic behind such a decision on Akimoto’s part. I understand the Team B connection and that she’d easily slip back into a leader-esque role among the WH7 members.. but AkiP actually thinks her image will fit? Are we talking about the same WH7?

I’m hoping that the choice to use CinDy came about because SDN48 is graduating, therefore she’d be a temp and easy to make a short term contract for. Thus giving AkiP time to find a proper replacement. Or it could be  his way of holding on to CinDy after SDN48 graduates.

AkiP did say that he needed the “7″ because the group had contracts under that setup already. Also that this was a tentative decision, so he’s probably just as on the fence about this as I am. Well, I’m not even “on the fence” about it, I’m flat out against it. I’m so against this, I don’t even want CinDy as a temp for WH7.

The reason I’m against CinDy in WH7, is simply because she’s the anti-WH7. Out of all the people within the AKB family, why has one of the oldest (who was even too old to stay in AKB), be put in a group that always flagrantly portrayed youth? CinDy is on the opposite side of the spectrum here. WH7 has always pushed a very, very, young and cute image. Brownies, fluff and pleated skirts, high school romance– gyu!

This grandma is out of place amongst the other members of WH7. Am I the only one having trouble re-imagining Seishun no Flag’s PV with CinDy instead of Nacchan? There are so many other great choices to fill Nacchan’s void.. without putting much thought into it, I can come up with tons of names I’d rather give a shot in WH7. What of Nakaya Sayaka? Give her some exposure, instead of leaving her in the shadow to bitch about her unsuccessful idol career. I wouldn’t be against getting to know her better as a member of WH7.

Even reaching into SKE, or NMB would be a better choice than having SDN’s CinDy. Shit, I’d like to see how Yagami Kumi would feel in the group.

I’m just hoping AkiP will change his mind on this, or that its a temporary decision until he can find a proper candidate for the role of “7″. CinDy is a no. She’s damn near 30 years old, which is the opposite of the image WH7 promotes. And she’d better not bring that disgusting brown hair she loves sporting. Black hair only, thank you very much.

This isn’t an attack on CinDy by any means (despite how much I’ve made it seem like one). This is attack on AkiP’s decision to sign her to WH7. CinDy has never been a member I’ve cared for, but that doesn’t mean I dislike her. She’s always had a lot of respect amongst AKB members, must be for a reason.

I’m still hoping Nacchan will return. I mean, WH7 even has Kikuchi Ayaka who made a return.. so WH7 seems like the perfect subgroup for tainted idols. My wishful thinking is leading towards AkiP letting Nacchan’s controversy die down before bringing her back. I was gonna get on the first flight to Japan so I could smack the shit out of AkiP, then sit down with him and light up whatever it is he’s been smoking–while we talk out the WH7 situation as gentlemen… but, I decided to just bitch about it here instead during my lunch break at work.

Boot CinDy, find someone else.

/rant

The charm point, is it the most powerful tool an idol could have? I don’t know, you tell me. What makes an Idol successful?  I have no clue what I’m talking about as usual – but, 

A charm point can be a physical or personality trait, an exclusive perk that varies from person to person. In the idol world, it can easily set you apart from a plethora of others. As well create fans from nowhere and perpetuate an auspicious career. While everyone has charm points to be found, some have easier distinguishable ones that definitively sets them apart from the get go.

Someone may see an idol and think she doesn’t have any charm points, when in fact she does. Everyone has one, just because you can’t see or understand it, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist or that it wont eventually work its magic on you in time. A charm point can creep up on you out of nowhere. I know, its  happened to me many times before. So much so that I’ll never deny an idol’s potential based off my initial inability to understand her charm or appeal.

As mentioned, there are idols with blatantly obvious charm points and then there’s idols with hidden charm points. Charm points that not only Wota may be unaware of, but the idol themselves. However, this adds a rich dynamic to any idol group. The group of girls who have it a bit easier vs the group who have to work a lil’ bit harder. I wouldn’t call it an unfair advantage, but its most definitely an advantage. The charm point isn’t promised success. Its potential for success. There’s no trade off for hard work and an ability to market oneself.

Case Study

Lovetan may have the look, a cute dimple topped off by adorable pigtails and a tsundere attitude.. but I doubt she’ll ever climb higher in Senbatsu or achieve any more success as an idol. She’s one of my favorites, but I can’t deny she’s probably reached her limits. Of course, with hard work she could continue to see increased success.

Then there’s the case of Sato Amina. Amina is one of my favorites as well. At one time, my oshimen (I don’t do Oshimen anymore, but Amina is still one of my top tier). A girl with many charm points. She has freakishly large pupils, inside her freakishly large eyes (one even seems a bit bigger than the other, making her look like a cracked out stray alley cat.. soooo cute.) the cherry atop? She has an anime character’s voice. Personally, there’s nothing I dislike about Amina. But people don’t seem to give her that much attention, despite her having many tools. She also gets hate for her weight, which I consider another charm point in itself.

However, when Amina worked her hardest she was able to grab an 8th spot in Senbatsu. Goes to show that “charm” doesn’t do it alone, you’re going to need more. When she applied herself she was able to use her tools along side her ambition to produce something truly amazing. Now, Amina seems to have relaxed a bit in her approach and subsequently fell back in rankings. She makes a perfect case study for my Charm Theory.

Skin pale as a as moonlights glow,
Your light shines bright, brilliance white.
When you walk among 47, your head takes
Center stage!

~My gumball headed princess~

<3

Making this picture was fun. I actually like this shot a lot.. it only makes my desire to continue this trend all the more interesting. I want to see how elaborate I can make celebration and holiday pictures in the future. Of course I don’t imagine me doing anything that costs too much money.. because I’m not quiet that high level yet. But, I look forward to the day I’m a complete loser, sharing bento with a photograph and spending top dollar for seats at a Broadway musical. –btw, I really do have this Rena picture next to my monitor. But I think I’ma swap it out for a Sato Sumire xd

~Happy Valentines Day~

The chapter is over and the book closed; I’m still sore as shit but hey, at least I’ll eternally support Nacchan by never taking this shirt off.

Bought it in green because I googled Nacchan’s favorite color.. and that was the information I found. Whether its true or not, isn’t really important because green is cool. But now I wanna buy more shirts… I like this one, lol.  But now I wanna buy more shirts… I like this one, lol. I’d like a blue kashiwagi one… a red amina, a red acchan.. a pink lovetan and a w/e color nakagawa haruka… LOVE WASTING MONEY!

I transfered my blog from Blogger to WordPress.org. It was a hell of a hard journey, I lost a lot of hair in the process and its still not completed. I’ve lost all my comments, RSS subscribers ( all two of them, gosh darn it!) and totally ruined my banner/skin. Its going to take me such a long time to make a nice skin..  I’m not sure it was all worth it. So much pain.. so much torment. On the bright side, I have some goodies to take my mind off it.

Sashihara’s 1st Photobook “Sashiko”, The Red Album (completing my Blue/Red collection), French Kiss: Saisho no Mail Type A (I bought Type B already and got the same Kuramochi card! Damn doubles), Not Yet: Naminori Kakigori Type A, Watarirouka Hashiritai 7: Kibou Sanmyaku Type A and Watarirouka Hashiritai 7: Hetappi Wink Type A.

My W7 collection is by far my largest collection. It even surpasses my AKB and SKE collections. I’m not sure how it happened, or when I’d definitively call W7 my favorite sub-unit, but, I guess it happened.

Unfortunately  I’m the type to get all versions of each single, so I still have a bit to go in my conquests. The only one here that I’ve gotten 2 versions of is the Saisho no Mail. I can chose not to buy a single, but if I do buy one, that’s when it becomes impossible for me to just get one version. So I need to make the decision, “should I buy this?” because it opens up pandora’s box and there’s no going back once I do.

My extas, other than the double Asuka, are great. I really like my Yokoyama Yui photo and my Komori Mika card.

I can't get past the crumbs on my table in this pic.. filthy.

Komori's really cute here!

Amongst my purchases is a new camera. Its one of the cheaper SLR cameras.. it takes great shots but there’s so many settings I need to familiarize myself with in order to optimize it. Which is why the Komori shot’s so blurry!

I also got a French Kiss promotional poster. Sucks that even though I have a ton of free frames, all seem to be just shy of the right size. So I’m going to have to pick up a frame sometime this week, because I want that promo shot up on my wall asap. Time to tear down the shitty UTB and BOMB magazine posters!

I also got The Three Stooges DVD collections 2 & 3. I love the Stooges, I have 4 more collections to go until I have all the episodes.