Warrior's Hand

Authoritative vs. Authoritarian

2016-06-01T12:51:00.000-04:00

Do you know how to be authoritative without becoming authoritarian?
An AUTHORITATIVE Parent or Teacher. . .

Respects and is accountable to higher authorities; is secure and confident in his relationships with higher authorities
Communicates warmth and love for those under his authority
Talks to the children, not at them, and also takes time to listen to them.
Makes clear rules with clear consequences, and follows them consistently
Sets a good example for children, both in and out of their presence
Keeps informed on the interests and activities of the children; monitors their lives, communicates concerns and stays with their problems long enough to resolve them
Is imaginative, with a vision for what the children can become; finds creative ways of helping them reach these goals
Produces children who are socially responsible, competent and capable of social initiative, and who have positive feelings about authority that make them willing to trust the ultimate authority of God.

An AUTHORITARIAN Parent or Teacher. . .

Avoids accountability to higher authorities and is often critical of them; OR uncritically accepts and supports higher authoritarian structures
Scores low in both warmth and communication;
Sets high demands with high controls for children, but is either abusive or inconsistent in enforcing them; instills fear in children
Has a private life that violates what he professes publicly; OR is rigid or excessively disciplined and demands the same from others
Distances himself emotionally and physically from children by escaping into his job or other pursuits; may compensate for this by indulging children with material gifts
Produces children who are hostile, negative and defiant; OR children who feel inadequate and pressured and believe no one will love them unless they do something good for them.

Things I Should Have Taught My Sons

2011-04-28T08:45:00.002-04:00

Here's a re-post of a blog entry from 2008 from Ron Edmondson's blog.

Everyone's aware of the fairly recent phenomenon of the Bucket List, "the things I want to do before I die"...and I have to admit I have spent some time thinking about what mine would be.

But the simple (and arguably more practical) premise of his post is "the things I want my boys to know, but I don’t think I ever taught them". Man, does that hit me between the eyes!

With my oldest now out of the house and on his own, I'm finding there are quite a few of these in my own life...even though I started consciously enacting the principles of my blog with him from the age of 10. It is all the more practical for me to make this list since I still have two younger boys in the home.

Take the time and come up with your own list...I know I will.

7 Things I Should Have Taught My Sons

At The Cross

2011-04-22T11:51:00.004-04:00

I know a place, a wonderful place
Where accused and condemned,
Find mercy and grace
Where the wrongs we have done,
And the wrongs done to us
Were nailed there with Him,
There on the cross

At the cross
He died for our sin
At the cross
He gave us life again

Noble Warriors

2011-04-20T17:28:00.000-04:00

Here's a men's group in Richmond, VA with lots of info and resources:

Through a variety of ministry and service experiences men will be challenged to measure their manhood against a biblical model rather than contemporary culture. Consequently, these men will become spiritually alive in Christ, investing significantly in their personal spiritual growth as well as the spiritual growth of their wives and children.

Noble Warriors

Quest for Christlike Manhood

2011-01-25T17:13:00.003-05:00

Always great to find another blog with the same heart to encourage men in their Christian walk.

Here's a great blog I just found out about that does just that. Check it out:

Quest for Christlike Manhood

Lead Me

2011-01-12T12:47:00.005-05:00

Ok, I'm a little behind the curve on this one, but I just heard Sanctus Real's song "Lead Me" for the first time a few days ago...and man did it blow me out of the water!

Funny because recently we did our traditional family New Year's "areas I want to grow in" chart. It is basically 4 circles labeled: Spirtual, Emotional, Mental, and Physical.

In each circle we write the things we want to improve in or change about ourselves for each category. In the center of the entire diagram is a small space for us to write one central, over-arching thing that we want to work on for the year that impacts everything else.

Mine just happened to be: "Be a better leader".

Imagine the impact of hearing the song after that!

Here are some of the lyrics and links to find out more if you haven't yet heard the song...

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I am called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't you lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love
Chasing dreams that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

LEAD ME LYRICS - SANCTUS REAL

Listen on Playlist.com

The Story Behind the Song

All Parents Homeschool

2011-01-11T12:44:00.005-05:00

Here's a re-post of the "Play of the Day" from All Pro Dad.

The title grabbed my attention since we homeschool our kids (and we are quite proud of that fact), but I realize that is not a option or doesn't fit for every family.

Regardless, we parents must remember that we are daily teaching our kids; attitudes, habits, world views, etc. This happens in our home. If you want to talk about your kids being successful in life, realize that having involved parents is the single biggest indicator of a child's success:

...even if parents send their children off to school to learn, they are almost singlehandedly the only factor that matters in their kids' educational success.

Important to remember!

All Parents Homeschool

Christian Bushido

2011-01-03T15:44:00.003-05:00

I had a chance to watch The Last Samurai again last night. Still a great movie (even with Tom Cruise!) and definitely in my top 5 "warrior movies".

The movie develops a thread concerning Bushido, the Samurai code of honor. Here's a site that takes those concepts, ostensibly derived from Shinto and Buddhism, and puts them in a Biblical light.

This could be very useful in developing a Christian code of conduct for a a child who is interested in Asian martial arts.

Code of Bushido

Iron Sharpens Iron

2010-12-29T16:46:00.000-05:00

I'm getting ready for the new year by checking out events that I may want to go to during the course of the year...and attending a men's conference is definitely on the list.

It's been awhile since I've been to a Christian men's "stadium event" (I attended a Promise Keeper conference back in 1998), but I have great memories of doing so.

I have a neighbor who recently became a Christian and I would love to help him jump start his growth in the area of leading his family. Nothing else can do that quite like being in a large venue with hundreds of other guys who are all trying to be better men!

It looks like this organization has a great line up and plenty of dates in 2011:

Iron Sharpens Iron | National Men's Conferences

Awakening Heroic Manhood

2010-12-27T11:08:00.002-05:00

Good post on Covenant Eyes blog describing some practical ways women can help inspire their men to live a noble manhood:

Men need someone to believe in them. They need someone to tell them that they can rise above this horrendous mediocrity. They desperately need someone to tell them that they can have a lot more than “one thing” on their minds. And they need someone to raise the expectations of their manhood. Believe it or not, we as men need you, as young women, to help us find our way out of this spiritual gutter of cultural “normalcy.”

Awakening Heroic Manhood | Covenant Eyes

Dadcando

2010-12-21T12:37:00.003-05:00

So you're going to be home from work for a few days with no obligations other than spending time with the wife and kids. Great!

After the glow of the new presents wears off, you might need some ideas on some activities to do with the kids. That's where this great resource comes in handy:

As a dad, you have a lot on your plate right now, and I know that there is probably so much going on in your life that it’s hard to think straight. That’s why I have condensed the most important information you really need at your fingertips, and put it all on to one site, so that you can make the most of the special time you spend with your kids.

dadcando.com

The Communication Game

2010-12-20T12:45:00.002-05:00

Christmas is a few days away and I can guarantee you there will be board games under our tree. How about you? Do you take the time to slow down and play a board game with the kids?

Here's a board game that is specifically designed for dads and daughters. From the publisher:

If you talk to your children now, chances are they'll talk to you later. The Communication Game a is a fun game that makes it easy for fathers and daughters to communicate with each other on "father-daughter" outings via a fun, casual "you ask, I answer" format...
The game is designed for fathers with daughers' age 10 or higher, but many fathers have played with daughters much younger. The game was invented over ten years ago by a father who was looking for a way to stay in touch with his daugter after being separated by divorce.
Awards:
2009 Teachers Choice Awards for the family by Learning Magazine
2008 National Parenting Publications Awards
2007 Game of the Year Award by Creative Child Magazine

The Communication Game - The Father Daugther Communication Game & Learning Tool.

At Amazon

Future Kids to Play Outside

2010-12-17T12:00:00.003-05:00

This is a re-post from March, but I thought it was clever and very relevant considering the number of "motion controller" type consoles and games that will be opened and put into use in a few days.

Favorite line:

The evolution has been rapid. First controllers vibrated, then the Wiimote simulated bowling, and now Project Natal [Kinect for Xbox 360] has us jumping around the living room. At this pace kids could be playing outside by 2015.

Check it out for a good chuckle:

New Technology May Allow Future Kids to PLAY OUTSIDE

The Mission Of Your Marriage

2010-12-16T08:30:00.001-05:00

December marks the end of a year-long marriage mentoring relationship my wife and I entered into with a couple from church. We started out under the auspices of marriage enhancement and quickly realized we were bordering on marriage crisis.

We are so glad we took the time to let an older (more experienced) couple mentor us in this way...I can truly say it has made a difference.

Along those lines, here is a great website from Marriage Missions International dedicated to "revealing the heart of Christ within marriage". They have a ton of good articles on many different aspects of marriage.

Of particular interest to me is this short how-to on creating a mission statement for your marriage and family:

The Mission Of Your Marriage And Family

Man Making

2010-12-15T09:07:00.001-05:00

I've mentioned before that manhood rites-of-passage concepts are not the exclusive domain of Christian fathers. Here's a manhood blog & website that appears not to be Christian in nature, but often has interesting insights and links to other info.

Of particular interest to me is the page that lists "guy films"...films the author has found contain themes that tie in well with manhood discussions.

These films can be great discussion starters for groups of men, and for a group of men and adolescent males. The debrief can always add some depth to a film for young guys, and you’ll be surprised where a discussion can lead a group. While the film will suggest the best questions, sample debrief questions might include:
What scenes in the move were the most memorable for you? How did those scenes make you feel? Why?
What was the most exciting part of the film?
Who was your favorite character and why?
What did the film teach you about being a man? Do you think men are like that in real life?

Man Making

Healing a Man's Father Wound

2010-12-13T12:01:00.001-05:00

I remember being introduced to the concept of the "Father Wound" many years ago and thinking it was a bunch of nonsense...

Years of experience in talking to men has proven otherwise. Much of what men struggle with in their quest to be "real men" and subsequently passing it on to their boys centers around this important relationship.

It is important for all men to know:

Only a father (or a surrogate or substitute father) can affirm a man's masculinity and make him feel that he's a man. Neither fame nor fortune nor all the women in the world can ever do this for him. Only a father's love can.

Here's a short article explaining the concept, the consequences, and how to begin to heal.

Healing a Man's Father Wound

She Calls Me Daddy

2010-12-10T09:57:00.000-05:00

With three boys in the house, it is always a struggle to keep my daughter from "falling through the cracks". I'll be honest...it's just easier to deal with boys.

Going through an old box of books the other day I found this book again. My daughter is a teen, so it's been a few years since I read it. But if I remember correctly, it is a good book.

Check it out:

She Calls Me Daddy Review

Holds Everything You Need

2010-12-09T12:31:00.002-05:00

Stumped on what to tell your kids that you want for Christmas?

What could be more manly than a new wallet....but not just any wallet....

You need the Slim Clip*! Reduce your plastic cards down to 7 or so, get yourself $20 cash to carry around, and quit collecting receipts (you never look at them anyway!)

I've been using one of these since last Christmas (I discovered and ordered it and gave it to my wife, to give to my kids, to give to me) and I love it. I carry it in my front right pocket and it is so convenient and cool.

You'll never go back to that bulky, soggy, chunk of leather you have stuck in your back side!

Official Slim Clip Website

*I'm not getting any kick-back, I just really like the product!

Strategic Dads

2010-12-08T08:49:00.001-05:00

Well over a year ago I posted a link to the blog pre-cursor of this resource.

Now it looks to be a full-on ministry with really great content. Of particular interest to me is the "Create a Crest" feature.

Check it out at:

Strategic Dads

Fatherwork

2010-12-07T12:26:00.000-05:00

I briefly browsed this website and it struck me as rather clinical and academic...but I can't argue with the content:

Fatherwork provides stories, ideas, and activities to encourage generative fathering. Harold B. Lee stated that "The most important...work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes."

I'm not sure if you'll find anything useful on the site, but being a "charts and diagrams" guy, I found one or two things of interest. One warning: I didn't find any overt references to LDS teaching, but the authors appear to be professors at BYU.

Fatherwork

I Did Not Save the World Today

2010-12-06T12:44:00.003-05:00

Ok, it's pretty obvious that I did not save the world today. Did I even think I could?

It sounds silly to say, but sometimes I think in the back of my mind I think I should. I've even caught myself saying it as a response to my wife and her innocent inquiry into how my day went:

"How was your day, honey?"

"Well, I didn't save the world today...."

Sometimes I live my life like I think it is possible...

Sometimes I think it is required of me: being the best husband, father, friend, coach, church member, employee, etc., etc., etc.,

The reality is there is only one Savior of the world...and He has already done it. Any echo of that in me, is Him in me!

Here's a song by a Christian folk singer I just discovered (and now love!) that really hit me hard..."up side the head" hard. He pretty much sums it up. Make sure you listen to the chorus. This one's going on my iPod!

Did Not Save the World Today | Allen Levi Song - Yahoo! Music

Men of Armor

2010-12-03T13:47:00.003-05:00

Just found out about this ministry/blog. I'm totally on the same page with the great things they are doing to help men in their daily fight....

Cool thing is, they're in my "back yard"! Turns out we have lots of shared connection points.

Check them out at:

Men of Armor

Useful Knots

2010-11-23T08:31:00.004-05:00

If you're not already covering it in scouting or some other group, you may want to make sure your boys know how to tie a knot...as it's the kind of thing that a man finds useful from time to time.

You could even work it into a ceremony, requiring them to learn and/or demonstrate it.

Here's a list of the 10 most useful knots. I'm sure a quick trip to youtube will get you all the instruction you need...

How to Tie the 10 Most Useful Knots

Christian Engravers

2010-11-22T13:16:00.002-05:00

Here's a website providing engraved plaques and similar items. From a recent post on Familymanweb.com forums:

[Raising a Modern Day Knight] helped me to see the importance of raising Godly young men for the Lord as well showing me their examples of what they did for their sons so that they would remember and never forget. This token of rememberence is vital and anything you can present to him will be forever engraved with him (pun intended). This weighs heavy on my heart as I would have loved something similar from my dad. The other men I included in this ceremony for my son were just as blessed as we were also.

Some of you know that my family and I run a Christian Engraving Business. With that being said, I have some solid Marble 8x10 plaques I could engrave for you to present to your son (if interested).

Check out the website: http://christianengravers.com/

Gone Too Long

2010-11-17T13:45:00.001-05:00

Hard to believe it's been more than a year since I posted here...

Going to get back into it!