Waste of time on earth

The World Post Steve J.

2011-10-08T15:54:00.000-07:00

I am too small a person to comment on SteveJ in any way, but I am big enough to comment on the world post his departure.

-- Some souls felt that changing their profile pics to SteveJ's would make them as great and awesome as him and would enable them to exhibit to the world how much their lives are influenced by him. Some are even considering fathering a child before marriage and making a spiritual trip to India. (I've booked tickets .. but for other reasons).

-- Poloneck makers' stocks sank to 52-week lows.

-- God's inbox got inundated with requests for pancreatic cancer by apple fanboys. The reason they offered: "Although we keep pasting snippets from his speeches and videos endlessly, it's impossible to live those snippets. Yes we are only big noise-makers, but we want to die, the way he did" (and relieve the Social Network sites of noise pollution).

-- His death served as a good cover-up for the horrible iPhone-almost-5-but-4S and boosted sales. (Out of the fear that iPhone 5 might actually be worse, with Tim Cook in charge as chef).

-- Stories of him denying fatherhood to his first child suddenly became a "yeah whatever".

-- Every CEO thought they'd lost a mentor (or at least said so), who kept giving them a mouthful from time to time.

-- A few more people from developing nations now know about Apple. Although they may never get a bite of it ...

-- Suddenly Richard Stallman (and Open Source) is a villain.

-- I shaved on Saturday as usual. No change there. I'm told Steve shaved on Saturdays too, irrespective of when the product-launches were.

Unforgivable - How BS can a life be!

2011-08-25T14:23:00.000-07:00

Its the first day of Paryushan, the Jain festival of forgiving and I haven't been able to forgive myself since lunch!

I went to the food-court, that I usually go to, to satiate hunger and indulge my taste buds. They did not have anything exciting on the menu and apparently the queue wasn't worth the wait. So I hopped out and went to Subway for a foot-long. There was a lady ahead of me, who was customizing her 2 sandwiches with great care and patience, inquiring about the bread types and available cheese flavors, then mulling over whether or not to include Avocados. I was growing impatient, owing to hunger and owing to something that I wanted to quickly try out, once in office.

Several thoughts passes my mind, including ones about obesity in this part of the world when the lady ordered extra cheese and also thoughts about how relaxed people here are, with no consideration for how long the queue behind them is. Finally, she was done with her endlessly customized sub. And consequently me too. I felt relaxed that I finally had lunch in my hand.

I left the shop, after her, and saw something that made me feel terrible about myself. She gave away the sub to a street side beggar outside Subway (Yes, we have beggars here, post recession). Here I was thinking about obesity and other stupid, irrelevant details. And she displayed qualities of a true humanitarian, selfless being. She put efforts in setting up the sub, much more efforts than I, ever, put in for setting up mine.

That moment completely shattered all the perceptions I had about myself. I hold a good position with a reputed employer in the beautiful state of California, which I was proud of. But the truth is that I am just another human being, selfish, materialistic and indifferent to people starving and dying. What I hold is of no use to anyone else and probably not even me. I can forgive people, but there is no way I am going to be able to forgive myself and there is no reason why I should, unless I perform some deeds of benevolence with a kind heart. I hope this realization proves to be the first step towards doing what really needs to be done.

I needed a wake up call. I got one.

Timed Out

2011-07-02T21:33:00.000-07:00

"Timed out" in the internet world means that your browser gave up on trying to connect to the shady web-site you requested. (I can already hear the .. "it happened to me" murmurs ..and .. hands down please). Your favorite pink browser doesn't want you to be a moron staring at the screen endlessly. Also it doesn't really care about how desperate you are ... or probably it does ... and this is for your own good karma, that the browser is tracking, along with cookies.

But anyway, if the browser is intelligent enough to save its own and your time, why can't you be? Umm ... because we have an ego that the browser doesn't. Umm .. because mum told us when we were young, that we should persevere and never give up and then be a failure and then try to learn from that failure and then build hopes of success. Non-sense. Your time is not unlimited. You will be timed out too.

And before that happens, you want to save as much time, as possible, by avoiding working on things that are not going to work out anyway. But how do we know, without trying endlessly? Lets assume probably they would work out, but the amount of time required would make them unfeasible. We need timers. We need to time out our attempts. And we already do it in our small little way.

We have this thing called the alarm-clock, or a smart-phone with an inbuilt alarm functionality, with the ability to choose from various melodious tones, that wake us up from our Penelope Cruz (replace with your favorite chick) dreams. Timed out. Call someone and after 4 or so rings, if still unanswered, you reach her voice-mailbox. Timed out. So the point is, try and then try more, but set a deadline and discontinue once it is past that.

Lets say, you want to woo this girl, who you think, won't even give you a tiny rat's ass. Try pushing the envelope down her throat (deep). Maybe like 3 times. And if that doesn't work, cheat yourself and increase the deadline to 5 times and push harder. And if that doesn't work either then visit this post again and don't forget to set a limit on how many times you visit this post. Move on!

On a serious note, surprisingly, such timing out strategies work really well with stocks and other such instruments. I don't know why, but there is data that proves that such strategies are better than any other such.

(Please don't try this at home). Starting a gig? Give yourself a fixed number of years to make it work. If it does, all good, if it doesn't, move on. Want to make kids? ... stop reading this post and go back to making kids.

Timed out!

To-Do

2011-06-26T14:18:00.000-07:00

This isn't about one of those to-do lists, that is painfully boring, and from which I reluctantly try to check items off (laundry, shaving, groceries). This is an incredibly awesome to-do list. One of the only kinds I have. And one that is all the more important than ever before. (If you expect having Vegas and the sins on the list, stop reading, grow up and get a life).

1) Run 10 miles in a go or 50 Surya-namaskars non-stop or bike 20 miles, each day.

2) Spend a month in country side NZ / India / Europe once a year (depending on how much money I have). Hiking, staring at the world from a mountain-top. And NO FB uploads!

3) Learn Sanskrit and get access to super-awesome, ancient philosophical books like the "Karma Grantha"

4) Make a 500% return in the stock markets in any 12 continuous months.

5) Give away a major chunk of that money to philanthropic causes. Mainly those dealing with hunger and disease.

6) Keep only a few clothes, a shelter and a laptop. Get rid of all other materials in life as much as possible.

7) Die peacefully, without disease, while praying or sleeping.

#1 is out of my guilt of not having biked in the last couple of months and also the fact that I'm aging.

#2 Have done this partly before in Rajasthan and Gujarat. It was bliss. Never had so much of peace.

#3 Started on this in my engineering days but gave up after a month or so. Bad time to begin, then.

#4 Have figured how to, and did a pilot, took 4 years of research. Actual target results will require some favorable winds. I can wait.

#5 Did this for 2 years in the past, but limited to 10%. Don't know why I stopped. I'm stupid.

#6 Living this already \m/ (well almost).

#7 Haven't quite tried doing this before. Maybe Life can share this item on its own to-do list for me :)

Simple list. Additions allowed. Subtractions aren't! Suggestions, criticism welcome. With some effort I'll make the top 6 possible, my 2 cents :P. And have my fingers crossed for #7.

I'm a very enthu rat-race participant and might forget about this altogether, come Monday. But we'll see.

The REAL Disease

2011-03-11T20:56:00.000-08:00

When faced with symptoms, never seen before, there is a natural tendency to try and cure the symptom rather than going into the pains of finding and treating the REAL disease. There is one such disease, which has produced numerous social symptoms over the past decades. But dumb-asses back in India are busy treating the symptoms. Good news is that the disease and cure are known, the co-relation with symptoms isn't!

Symptom - Corruption (at grass root levels, not national level).

Ongoing treatment - Rallies, bills for stricter laws, lectures about India's cultural heritage, general grumbling about the nation being dishonest.

Disease - Population. Excess population causes low-per-capita, makes people poorer. They can't even satisfy their basic needs. Policemen are forced into accepting bribes. Everyone needs enough of food, clothing and shelter.

Symptom - Crime rate growth. Indifference to everyday killing and death.

Ongoing treatment - None. (Knock on all doors only when its related to you).

Disease - Population. Laws in economics clearly state that the thing that is in excess supply, loses value. Excess supply of human beings reduces the value of human life. That is why people in IT in India get paid 1/15 of what they get paid in USA (adjusted for the crazy work hours).

Symptom - Parental pressure.

Ongoing treatment - Awareness through innovative concepts in schools. Public lectures by psychologists and blogs and presentations by people who have a lot of money and just want to shit (read "lessons") to prove their value and how they made it "big".

Disease - Population. There are just too many kids and too few opportunities. Parents don't want their kids to lose out. No parent can imagine their kid dying of hunger. Becoming a cricketer is difficult. Lets all become engineers. Tired of seeing shit engineers everywhere, who don't even have the balls to write their own code. But they're innocent, I'll blame it on population.

Symptom - Inflation

Ongoing treatment - increase in interest rates, thereby stunting growth and forcing poverty anyway. So inflation or no inflation, thou shallst be poor.

Disease - Population. When the hungry middle-class gains buying power, they shop like crazy, thus shooting up prices and making themselves poorer, even with their new high incomes.

Symptom - Brain-drain
Treatment - Cribbing about it, sitting back in India. Organizing debates.
Disease - Population. Most want to leave for the less populated, more per-capita nations. It's just that it is easier for those with qualifications!. And stupid people think, those with brains are migrating. There is no such thing as "brain-drain". It's just a "we-have-a-visa-drain".

Symptom - Population. (This recursive thingie is my personal fav).

Ongoing treatment - none.

Disease - No prizes for guesses. The growing population, "invented" technology to make their lives comfortable and increased life expectancy, thus unknowingly screwing themselves on the deal. Less people are dying!

In theory, I could write a fat book on symptoms and then be categorized as a moron, since I'd digress from the disease. So lets stick to the disease. Population. A lot of people, my age, are getting married. My only request would be:

1) Don't make love. But again, that's against evolution.

2) Don't make kids. But again, that's against social pressures.

3) Have just 1 kid. Chhota parivar sukhi parivar.

To people from past generations: You screwed our lives! Stop reading this blog and spread the word.

Happiness Density

2010-11-27T14:03:00.000-08:00

In my efforts to sum up what happiness and happy people are like, I figured this nice concept, which could come pretty close to defining happy people. I call it the "Happiness Density".

It is "The number of times you laugh or smile over a period DIVIDED BY the number of days in that period".

Laughter or smiling has been considered because, that is the time, I think, when you are fully happy. When you laugh, you just really only laugh, physically and mentally. And that immediately creates a memory. The days which are most memorable are, mostly, the days when you laughed or smiled A LOT, be it with friends, family or some other occasion involving philanthropy, benevolence etc.

People cherish memories of their college days, probably, because of the same reason. The Happiness Density is very high over that period! So the whole point is to maximize the density. And some ways of doing that could be staying close to students, producing and raising kids, having a bunch of closely-knit friends and family.

And just in case you've forgotten what laughing is, watch this high density video :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3r61hlyyto&feature=related

Horizon

2010-11-07T15:41:00.000-08:00

Imagine yourself on a serene beach, walking, setting feet gently over soft sand, as the breeze plays around you. You are totally enjoying the moment, with your mind at a perfect equilibrium. Could anything be better than what it is now? Perhaps, not.

You stroll for a while, listening to the waves, looking at the skies, with a smile on your face. Then you set sight on the colorful and calm horizon far away. You think, if this is so good, then the place where the horizon is, must be even more beautiful. You start staring at the horizon, with a desire to be at the horizon, slowly building up. And, even before you realize, your mind is completely clouded with an intense desire to set foot on the horizon. You are no longer "in the moment". You start packing, setup sails and set out for your horizon-dream.

You go through the journey, not with the same pleasure, but an impatience to reach the horizon. After a while you get pretty far off from the beach and are completely convinced that you are at the horizon. Or are you? You can still see a horizon from where you are and this is the point where total confusion comes into being!

Am I really at the horizon? Is the horizon still far away? Is it within my reach? Should I embark upon another journey to the true horizon? But what if a similar thing happens when I try to reach there? Does a place called horizon even exist? Should I just go back to my beautiful beach and forget about the horizon? But what about the pains I've taken to reach here? so on and so forth .... a list of endless questions, which only you have an answer to!

At this point some people carry on with their journey to the non-existent "perfect horizon". Some get back to where they came from, with a joy greater than reaching the horizon and some blog about this whole thing, still in confusion.

Luck, Efforts and More

2010-06-05T14:39:00.000-07:00

Most of us have come across two views; one that says with shrugged shoulders that we are mere puppets and things just happen and the other that keeps yelling that efforts and only efforts can make things happen. Which one do we buy? (Hint: none). Both are incorrect.

An ascetic once explained to me the complete theory behind what goes into things that happen, which to my knowledge, was completely complete and flawless. Here is the list of items that make things happen (in that order):

1) Luck

2) Efforts

3) Nature of the target

4) Time

5) The correct composition of the above 4.

It will make sense once we run through a mundane example (that was given to me). Assume that you like to have tea as soon as you wake up.

1) If you have enough LUCK (good karma) left: you'll wake up :P and you'll have all the materials required to make tea.

2) But merely having ingredients is not enough. You need to make EFFORTS to get out of your bed, go to the kitchen and combine all the ingredients.

3) But what if the milk is spoilt? The NATURE OF THE TARGET won't allow you to make tea. I mean, you have milk and you are willing to make efforts but.. :(

4) OK. Enough. Lets be optimistic. We have everything that it takes. Everything is good and perfect. We are determined to make tea. We mix all the right things. Done? Not yet .. you need to give it TIME.

5) We are on point-5 and still dying for some tea! Unfair. But this is the last hurdle. I promise.

So, if LUCK, EFFORTS, TARGET AND TIME get combined in the right quantities (I mean, come on, you need the right brand of tea powder, need to give time to boil properly etc), what you get is a nice, hot, tasty, kick-ass cup of tea!

Homework: There were 5 things that went into completing this blog-post. Identify them, elaborate on each and bug others with such theories!

Food and Health

2010-03-02T13:12:00.000-08:00

I am a couch potato, so I don't read stuff about exercising. But I'm a foodie and I've come across the following points, in multiple articles/books, written by experts. Realized that I'm approaching 25 and thought I should put neglected things in place! So this is a list of tips "that work". (If you're looking to gain / reduce weight, cure something, then you need an expert. This article will help you with controlling weight, health and longevity in general).

Have a heavy and nutritious breakfast.(Cereals, milk, fruits, vegetables - no fast food)
Eat in small quantities every 2-3 hours to prevent overeating after a huge gap.
It takes 20 minutes for the brain to realize that you are full. So eat steadily.
Prefer ice-creams to cookies. (Strictly no cookies).
Prefer paneer dishes to pizza.
Consume 7-0-80% of your daily intake before 4pm.
The stomach is at its worst after sunset, so avoid heavy dinner.
Avoid fruits, sweets (heavy or sugary stuff) at night.
There should be a gap of 2-3 hours between dinner/supper and sleep.
Sweets only before meals not after. (The concept of desserts sucks).
Eat everything (read natural or lightly processed food) in appropriate quantities and keep varying the types.
No work / TV while having food. You might end-up overeating and might get into a wrong set of emotions. Focus on and enjoy what you eat.
Drink plenty of water. (Especially for people who work in AC environments).
Avoid fruit juices. Prefer fruits.
Have lots of ghee. (With exercise).
Avoid soda / diet soda at ANY cost. (Diet soda actually makes you hungry).
Basically, eat EVERYTHING, but at an appropriate time and appropriate quantity depending on what you are eating and most importantly ENJOY WHAT YOU EAT!

The above points are no substitute for exercise!

A better F.E (Computers)...

2010-02-27T10:24:00.000-08:00

My first year at Comp Engineering sucked! I was made to do courses like "Elements of Civil, Mechanical, Love making etc" just because a bunch of education idiots decided that everybody must eat Bhel-Puri. I paid 15k to waste my time on stuff that I was destined to forget anyway...(I was destined to waste 15k and time as well I guess)...

Looking back I feel those courses should've been replaced by the following ones, which would've laid solid foundation and developed ample interest, at an age when adrenaline levels are high!

1) Typing: The most important and the most neglected part. Its need can't be emphasized any more. Students should be made to do a semester long course to master typing. It helps. To churn out zillions of LOC you ought to type .. and type fast.

2) Using the web smartly: Includes setting up mail-clients, using feeds, blogging, conferencing, hunting for data, contributing to forums, using various important web services, etc.

3) Introduction to Open Source: What it is, Intro to useful open source software, how to use and contribute to open source.

4) Intro to Hardware and networking: Components, costs, brands, techniques, uses, configurations.

5) GAMING: Yes gaming. You don't want to churn out robots!

6) Research papers: what are they, how to write and publish them, formats, conferences, societies like ACM and IEEE.

7) Small projects every semester instead of the electrical crap that we encounter even in 2nd and 3rd year of engineering!

This is not an exhaustive list and the courses suggested are light in nature. Which means less burden, more fun. Thoughts?

Indian "USA return" smalltalk

2009-12-19T18:44:00.000-08:00

I hate small talk. But seems like I'll get a heavy dose of it, once I'm home.
Here is a small list of FAQ with some responses that may qualify as answers, which hopefully, friends and relatives will read before dragging me into the "phoren return" conversations ...
1) How was your trip?
I was on a student visa not a tourist visa. "Good", if it makes you feel any better.

2) How's the recession?
Depends on whether or not I get a job.

3) I've heard, the weather there is pretty bad
Hmm .. I've heard too...

4) So finally back to Indian food...?
Yeah..the pizza is on its way...

5) And... all set for marriage..?
Wait ... weren't you invited ...?

6) कोई गोरी पसंद आई क्या?
Yeah, but very high rates...and no deals...

7) Must be meeting a lot of people..and answering a sea of irritating questions?
Cmon, you are family. (Wish job interviews had such questions, much simpler than "what's the next rung in this ladder of computer science?")

8) My daughter is very intelligent..
Mine too..

9) So what plans now..?
Planning on trying cocaine next time..

10) Yo man, wassup, howz it goin?
rotfl, lmao, गावठी साला $%%$

11) How are you?
was a lot better moments ago...

12) You study a lot ..
certainly not as much as you talk...

13) कितनी पटाई?
did you mean पढाई?

14) What all can you cook now?
I'll have the menu-card sent to you...

15) For how long are you planning to stay?
I was about to ask you the same thing...

16) What's the time there right now?
I am here ... not there..

17) blah..blah..blah..BLAH..bLaH
gotta go.. ttyl..

Working Women

2009-11-01T15:41:00.000-08:00

Should women work?...A stupid, idiotic, outdated question. A question that has been answered long back when women started working in fields which were dominated by men only.

Next question...How much does it affect family, kids, relationships? This question is much more important, relevant and worth pondering over! For the sake of analysis, lets assume certain things:

1) Men would always work. Job or business.

2) Men wouldn't get drunk and beat up wives and vice versa :P

3) Situations are not exceptionally good or bad but average.

Also lets break the topic into 3 scenarios and make comments without substantiating much, any of those.

1) Woman has a full time job: Sucks. Kids could turn wastrels. House would be a mess. Relationship exists just because it exists. Kids and house are a couple's responsibility as a team. But imagine the amount of time they would actually be able to set aside dynamically. Honestly not much. If they have a strict 9-5 schedule then it works best but else...thumbs down.

2) Woman is into some business(self or family): The most optimal scenario. There will be dynamism in managing stuff. Shit like KSBKBT is not a part of life. Can take honeymoon vacations when mood be.

3) Woman as a home maker: Really depends wholly on the kind of women. She can really turn kids into amazing human beings and make house a home. But again DEPENDS. KSBKBT getting into daily life cannot be ruled out.

I'm glad mum chose to be a home maker. I can imagine how difficult the sacrifice could have been...but today she has a smile 24x7. It paid off for her and me. Had the situation been any different I'd have been a wastrel and she would have been a richer woman with no smiles.

Choosing a life partner

2009-08-28T17:25:00.000-07:00

If you intend / hope to get married in an arranged fashion, this post is for you.

Here's my version of how I'd go about choosing a prospective partner:
Step 1) Let parents find a match and filter according to their preferences OR you suggest somebody if you have someone in mind and let parents filter.
Step 2) Once you get a final list, send the information across to your ex-gfs OR girls you've liked and ask them, how much the prospective girl, is like them.
Step 3) Once you've gathered feedback, perform some additional filtering.
Step 4) Go around for a week or so. If it clicks, you're all set :)

There are many reasons for why I went about finding a nice match method. In most cases, people only perform steps 1 and 4. They think it clicked and they are set. But a lot of differences surface later on. Steps 2 & 3 actually are based on the principle "If you like Deepika Padukone then you might also like Amrita Thapar". This makes life a lot easier, decisive and reduces possibility of false clicks.

All steps have some vague sub-steps. Vague for 2 reasons:
1) You can't go in with a fixed prototype mindset. There should be some flexibility in selection.
2) The fine-tuning of each step varies from person to person. What a "click" means to one may not mean the same to others.

A well known company is known to recruit employees in a "somewhat" similar fashion and they claim that the approach works nicely. Adapting it to this situation might be tricky.
Better non-conventional suggestions welcome :)

1 YEAR IN USA

2009-08-05T22:23:00.000-07:00

ON COMPLETING 1 YEAR IN THE UNITED STATES! THIS SHOULD SUM IT UP :)

Not for dollars,
Not for fame,
I wasn't here for the riches,
But I'm glad I came.

Friends are a crazy lot,
I owe a lot to them,
I wasn't here for friends,
But I'm glad I came.

The best employer to work for,
Don't deserve this gem,
I wasn't here for Google,
But I'm glad I came.

She is a superlady,
Drives me insane,
I wasn't here for love,
But I'm glad I came.

I don't know what the future holds,
For life is a twisty game,
I wasn't here for life,
But I'm glad I came.

I am here for those millions,
Who don't have a name,
I am here for a dream,
And I'm glad I came.

SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO MADE THIS JOURNEY, FUN.
THIS SHALL REMAIN IN MEMORY FOR DECADES TO COME =)

The thing about "The goose that laid golden eggs"

2009-07-30T19:19:00.000-07:00

Remember the story about the goose that laid golden eggs?
The man should have really nurtured the goose rather than being greedy about getting all the golden eggs in one go. The goose would've continued laying golden eggs for years to come (A goose's life span is about 25 years, so at least 15 years of egg-laying :P).

If you feel the goose owner was stupid, you are right. We are too (...and the smirks disappear!). We too, run after golden eggs rather than focusing on nurturing the goose.

Case 1: People studying for marks (golden egg) rather than knowledge (the goose). Realize that if the goose doesn't exist, the eggs wouldn't either. (...and then, there are some who steal others' eggs). Do I need describe what happens when you eventually become a part of a specific industry?
Case 2: People doing projects "solely" for a nice resume (golden egg) rather than solving real-world problems (the goose). (If you have reasons other than just resume, feel free to feel less guilty :P)
Case 3: "People with choices" choosing money (golden egg) over something that they'd love to do. (I say "people with choices" because beggars are not choosers).

..and the list would go on....

I'm not necessarily saying that the golden egg should be ignored. It actually is one of the factors that adds to the goose's importance. The point I'd like to highlight is that "The egg's importance should never surpass the goose's".

Nurture the goose and the golden eggs are all yours for years to come!

The thing about "Fun-loving"

2009-06-28T15:23:00.000-07:00

Background: I am an observer by nature and habit and one of the topics of observation has been "the behavioral patterns and nature of Indian girls of about my age". (Comprehensive data about the reasons for the research, the experiments and the findings won't be revealed until I get married SOME-HOW).

So.. I registered with matrimonial sites and soc-net sites and read numerous "about-me" sections. These sites have a limited space for self-bragging and one very irritating and common thing I have found under this section is "I'm Fun-loving". Girls waste the "about-me-real-estate" to state that they are fun-loving x-(

Well,who isn't? I haven't found somebody who is "tragedy-loving". Isn't it implicit that we are in a hugely materialistic world and by the herd-mentality we should love fun and nothing else? uh.
This has reached a point where those words are a huge turn-off to me. I'm sure if I put "Fun-Giving" in my description, those "Fun-Loving" female creatures would line up for me :p

So a girl I loved, once suggested that I should offer constructive criticism. And in this case I'd like to offer a couple of suggestions, not because she was a girl, not because I loved her, not because she suggested it, but because I think it'd prevent me from rejecting girls who meet my criteria but cannot express themselves through writing. (and that obviously is not a criteria).
1) If fun is so worth mentioning, please elaborate on whether you are just fun-loving or fun-doing, fun-giving, fun-making, fun-whatever as well. Plus your definition of fun if the space allows.
2) Mention things that are genuine and that'd improve your odds. Some special skills, something that sets you apart, some interests that could lead to something of value.

The research is on. Volunteers welcome.
Also, I made this interesting "sunrays-thru-the-peephole" observation yesterday. Details provided upon request.

The thing about modern birthdays

2009-05-23T15:42:00.000-07:00

Social networking sites every so often get flooded with birthday party pics. Among the other "fun-filled"snaps, is an almost guaranteed pic of the b-day-victim's face covered with the cake. Cake all over his/her face, hair and in some extreme cases, clothes enough to feed a hungry person or two. Here is where we should take a pause and apply some thought.

There are people who starve everyday and go to sleep hungry. Are we justified in wasting food when people struggle to fill their stomachs? It might sound that this issue is being blown out of proportions but allowing a minor act of thoughtlessness leads to major acts on similar lines. It should be nipped in its bud. (Reminds me of lavish post-marriage receptions).

The worse part is that the b-day guys flaunt their decorated faces on networking sites further promoting such behavior. There are other neat ways of celebrating and expressing respect and affection. Why waste food? Why not set it aside and share it with the needy?

Another stupid custom is to celebrate at midnight. I still haven't been able to digest this one. I mean WTF?. People stay up, have food so late and spoil the following day. Why not have a nice get-together in the evening instead. Spend some quality time without yawning.

A macro thought is not to disturb the biological cycle and resources of course. Keep wasting food and there will be a day when you'll starve. Keep disturbing your bio-clock and there will be a day when...

The thing about Margin of Safety

2009-03-28T16:36:00.000-07:00

Umm...crap...yet another fancy new term to digest..
Well....
1) It sounds "fancy" because you haven't used it...worse still..haven't heard about it..
2) It's not "new"...Warren Buffett has been using it since the time your grandpa was in diaper and has made a huge fortune..
3) It's not a "term"...it's a concept which would help you save blushes..

The "What" part..
Margin of safety is an extra entity/buffer added to your normal calculations to lessen the impact of (a) Unforeseen events (b) errors in calculations/predictions
I first came across this concept in "The Intelligent Investor" by Ben. Graham (Buffett's guru) where an entire chapter has been devoted. I've realized (the hard way of course) that this is useful not just in investments but also in your own hunky-dory life.

So..to make stuff less textbookish lets consider some applications...

Leave for the bus in such a way so that you reach the stop 5 mins prior to the arrival time. You don't want to "just smile" at your hot neighbour while running for the bus. A couple of sweet extra minutes could make your day!

If you value a business at $100 then pay $50. You could be wrong in your calculations but not wrong by 50%, unless you are from the weather department. Heads you win, tails you don't lose too much (credits -- Mohnish Pabrai of Pabrai Funds).

Some more GK...
The "Under promise, over deliver" funda is also a close kin of this concept.
Tell your boss that you'd deliver the deliverable by the end of next millennium and deliver it right at EOD. This way even if you take a millennium it's within predictions but you score bonus points for delivering early!

Promise your girlfriend an aluminium ring and buy a gold (plated silver) ring. The quality of your night(s) won't improve with buying diamonds straightaway!

*FAQ*
1)...dude...I like livin on the last molecule of the edge...Do I need your margin?
Ans: ..dude..to enjoy staying longer on the edge stay a couple of meters away from the edge...a gusty wind could sweep you off the edge...

2) ...dude...my intelligent husband knows about this concept already...he goes to the gym thrice a day to stay extra-fit
Ans: You bet its a unisex gym...

Quick Quiz:
If your wife estimates the shopping expenditure to be $5000, how much should you carry?
Ans: None! (Married guys wud know better about history's annoying habits)

In conclusion...2 great people (Warren & I) have been using this funda to reap handsome returns. You should too :)

The thing about Process over Goals

2009-01-17T08:49:00.000-08:00

A lot is said everywhere about goal-setting. Visit a self-development site/forum/blog and you find tonnes of material about goal-setting, importance of it and how-tos. Personal finance sites talk about financial goals, people talk about short term goals, long term goals, soccer goals....

The reasons could be a) It's in vogue b) Herd mentality c) Provides an extra bullet in a marketing presentation d) To make the potential customer feel that a life without goals is a dog's life and sell strategies, plans etc.

I believe (or to put it in a correct tense "have started believing" ) that life should not be divided into goals. In the want to achieve goals, people forget to enjoy the process. My point is (at the risk of sounding extreme) eradicate goals completely and focus on the process entirely, the process that you like.

Warren Buffett never had any financial goals, he just enjoyed the process of being right and proving the "Efficient Market Hypothesis" wrong every single day. Steve Jobs enjoyed the process of changing the definitions of handhelds etc ("the world" as he calls it) and he'll do it even from his hospital bed. Bill Gates enjoyed the process of monopolizing businesses :P.

Statistically speaking, lets say you have 30 more years left and you set 3 goals each a decade apart. Further assume that you succeed in achieveing them. The number of days of extreme happiness would be the days,some time before and some time after the achievement. So if the happiness lasted for a year then you would be happy for 365*3 days. But if you follow a process oriented approach and enjoy the process chances are you would end up being happy for 30*365 days for guys and 30*365 - 30*12*3 for girls (adjusted for pink days).

My feeling is that people love the goal-oriented approach because the outcome is known and they are too optimistic even about unrealistic goals. But if you fail to reach the goal, you end up wasting a life-time.(Thats realistic not pessimistic). Whereas with the process-oriented approach you don't know what the outcome would be, but you'll enjoy a major part of your life* (OMG a marketing star).

So the lesson to take home is that if you like the process of being a dog, run after cars, bitches and bark, DO IT. If you like killing people, KILL. *JUST DON'T REGRET THE OUTCOMES.

Last nail: The only goal should be to enjoy the process and design, develop, test, debug, configure and maintain it.

The thing about OBEs

2008-11-14T07:18:00.000-08:00

OBE means Out Of Body experience or near-death experience. You momentarily reach a state where you can see your own self from the outside. When I first read people's experiences, I almost laughed with a shade of ridicule. Maybe its your turn now. YES I HAD AN OBE at about 6.00 am.

In my dream I saw a group of guys experiencing OBEs turn-by-turn. I was the second one to go and when the procedure started I closed my eyes. I could experience my skin compress and it felt like air being removed from an empty bottle. My facial muscles started turning and twisting without any control over them. And in a moment I felt a great pull, I shouted, heard my voice and the voice kept diminishing although I was yelling as if somebody was reducing the volume gradually. Then there was a mute. Finally it felt like I was floating in air with the blue sky on top and I (or my body) on the floor below!

I woke up almost instantaneously with fear all over me...tears rolled down uncontrolably.
WOW. It was an amazing experience, death felt so peaceful. Somebody had said that death is not bad, only the transition is...I realized what he meant..today! It's just for a moment and you are free! It also gave a powerful realization...do good when you are alive, there may be no tomorrow.

I just wish to have OBEs everyday, to make me realize the importance of this opportunity called "life" and to wake me up at 6.00 am :).

The thing about Mondays

2008-11-08T15:19:00.000-08:00

I've seen a lot of people with disappointed faces on Mondays...
They keep saying they hate Mondays...and they miss weekends..blah blah....
its become more like a tradition to say so...lol
u r not in the crowd if u dont hate mondays....
Well...I don't...
I actually like Mondays....u carry those sweet lazy memories of the weekend with u....its feels so dreamy and nice...
BUT I HATE TUESDAYS....

The thing about Price and Value

2008-11-05T18:56:00.000-08:00

It is very important to understand the difference between price and value, which most people unfortunately don't. Others do, but seldom apply theory in practice. Understanding the concept and applying it can lead to enormous profits/benefits, tangible and intangible.

So, to clarify/define the terms...
"Price is what you pay, Value is what you get".

For example, if you pay $500 to buy a laptop, which reduces your work greatly, then the price you paid is $500 and the value you get is the saved time and efforts, which could further be put to use in other high value areas.

The bigger the positive difference between Value and Price, the greater the profit.
This concept is frequently applied to businesses and other assets by value-stake buyers. But its not limited to that and can be extended to our day-to-day lives as well.

For example, the price you pay for a relationship should always be less than the value you would get ultimately. Since most of the terms involved are intangible, its essential that you have a broad mind and a good judgment.

Last nail: Always look for situations where price is very very less than the value you'd get. This way (1) You reap enormous profits if you judge correctly (2) You don't lose too much even if you go wrong, since the price paid was too low in the first place.

Happy profiteering,
Saurabh

The Thing About Flirting

2008-10-12T17:34:00.000-07:00

To,
All gals, I have met and will meet....

This is a practical issue I've run into several times and the very nature of the issue warrants a blog-post for the topic.
Whenever I compliment girls for anything special about them at that point of time, I get a set of questions which reflect a more-or-less "common pattern". Here is the FAQ list (and my embedded comments) :
1) Why are you such a flirt?
Comment: C'mon, your father did that (gave compliments...chill) to your mother. Was he a flirt? Didn't you have this special thing before or were the guys shy or gay?
2) How many girls have you said this to, before? kitni ladkiyaan haan...
Comment: Well...I am not a counter and I have and will say this to whomsoever its applicable to.
And BTW did you want to hear stuff like you are the only one...maybe you havent been out of your house for long...
3) Chup karo...Shaadi se pehle yeh sab achha lagta hai kya..?
EXCUSE MEEEEEEEEEEEE. NO COMMENTS.

Last nail: I have made some very good friends through actual flirting. I made some flirtatious comments but the girls thought I was complimenting them...these are the girls I like and these are the ones who've turned out to be the very best friends.

Moral of the story for girls: If complimenting makes you feel, we're flirting ..you are out. If flirting makes you think we're showering compliments...you're IN. Heads we win. Tails we don't lose too much :)

-----
With LOVE,
A representative for guys.

The Thing About Competition

2008-09-22T19:33:00.000-07:00

Coming to the point straightaway, it makes you lose focus.Rather than focusing on what you like and how you like it, it makes you focus on what others are doing. Remember Arjuna's story in Mahabharata, where he sees nothing but the parrot's eye...that's what focus is. He doesn't spend time looking around what shit others are doing.

Some competitive guys would be dying to state that competition brings the best out of a person..and that it's quite healthy...and then the crap about sportsman spirit generation ..blah blah..Here's the last nail: Co-operation makes competition irrelevant. The fun is in going ahead with everyone rather than going ahead of everyone...unless you love being alone.

But what if a competition has been organized..how can then we not compete....
Well, I'd say, participate and focus on what you like and want to do and think is right. This way you are very much into the game but not competing. You won't feel pressurized, you'll love the process and the outcome.

So its co-operation over competition. End of debate...hopefully once and for all.

Introduction

2008-09-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

The contents will be in a pseudo random sequence. That is how my brain works, its random but uniformly distributed :).
In this post i'll try to justify the title before moving on...
I believe everybody finds (or tries to find ) a way to waste their time on earth. Yes waste. They call it passions, goals, aims..you name it. Although spending life sounds better and dedicating life seems like a superlative-feel-good, we'll stick to a more pragmatic description,"WASTE". I have found many ways myself, and trying to find even more...This blog is a waste of time on earth, since its doing no good to anybody. You are wasting your life by reading this blog, so I have company :)

Then, you may waste even more time by asking me questions like..if this is waste, what is not?
Well, if I knew that, i wouldn't be writing this stuff...This is my new-found way of wasting time on earth. So the truth is we are going to waste our lives doing some shit(under cool names as mentioned before), so why not add some spice to this shit and try to enjoy the waste of our lives and pretend as if no such thing exists or occurs...

To spice it up even more...i'd prefer the pseudorandom way...
keep watching this space :) I don't know how not to waste time, but i know that this'll prove to be the best waste of your life.
Waste not. want not. But we waste, so we want.

BTW, the black color has been chosen so as not to waste power :)