Water Cooler Jokes.

People Are Calling McDonald's "A Monster" For Taking Hi-C off their Menu

2017-05-01T16:19:00.001-07:00

McDonald's sent out a memo on Monday, April 24th, letting us all know that Hi-C Orange is getting the boot starting on May 1st. This has upset the American public, who are now forced to travel to the same location as other classics like Zima and Crystal Pepsi, the 90's

Americans Spending Less on Clothes

2015-05-15T09:27:00.002-07:00

A recent report shows that Americans are spending less on clothing compared to earlier decades, which proves there is at least one upside to global warming.

Images of Supergirl

2015-05-14T09:49:00.001-07:00

Fans were shocked to see the first images of supergirl with the heroine’s one fatal weakness, being on CBS.

American Idol was Cancelled

2015-05-12T20:10:00.002-07:00

American Idol was cancelled today, after 15 seasons. When asked for her reaction, Paula Abdul replied with a blank stare and a lazy eye.

Men are Pretending to Work 80-hour Weeks

2015-05-07T11:24:00.004-07:00

A report that shows men are pretending to work 80-hour weeks means only one thing, they got caught… amateurs.

Microsoft's New Browser

2015-05-06T11:30:00.000-07:00

Engineers at Microsoft report that the Windows 10 browser, Edge, is now able to download Chrome and Firefox up to three times faster as the antiquated Internet Explorer.

Nobody Works a 40-hr Work Week Anymore

2015-05-06T10:34:00.002-07:00

Nobody works a 40-hr work week anymore, everyone works about 12hrs and keep their work open to quickly minimize Facebook when their boss walks by for about 28hrs.

Jennifer Lawrence's Met Gala After-Party Dress

2015-05-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

Jennifer Lawrence's Met Gala after-party dress might have stole the spotlight, but the real winner of the night was justice for District 12!

Least Stressful Jobs

2015-05-05T09:43:00.000-07:00

A list of the least stressful jobs were announced. And the top of the list... Being a cat.

May the 4th

2015-05-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

The country celebrates the Star Wars holiday may the 4th be with you. While Star Trek fans celebrate the less popular "Boldly Go Outside for once" day.

Bay Area Shook with a 4.0 Magnitude Earthquake

2015-05-04T10:09:00.003-07:00

The entire Bay Area shook with a 4.0 magnitude earthquake, Bay Area parents now pressuring local tectonic plates to take more AP classes and bring it up closer to 5.0 or they will never land a good job.

J.C. Penney Bankruptcy

2015-05-01T16:30:00.000-07:00

How close is JC Penney to bankruptcy? Let’s just say the only cash they have left comes after JC.

Anna Kendrick is Disappointed

2015-05-01T15:00:00.000-07:00

Anna Kendrick voiced her disappointment in Mae Whitman’s dismissal from Indepence Day 2 with a moving rendition using nothing but cups, spoons, and her pitch perfect vocals.

Millennials are Choosing to be Childless

2015-05-01T13:50:00.002-07:00

A study shows that Millennials are choosing not to have children of their own, but instead rent children from strangers using Uber.

2015-04-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

A man admitted to murdering Jeffrey Dahmer because of Dahmer’s “creepy sense of humor.” Hey, boning and eating a corpse is one thing, but keep that Anthony Jeselnik bit to yourself.

ABC’s Revenge was Cancelled

2015-04-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

ABC’s Revenge was cancelled after 5 seasons after finally killing the last thing left on Amanda Clark’s list… ratings.

Hillary Clinton Wants all Police to Wear Body Cameras

2015-04-29T14:30:00.000-07:00

Hillary Clinton wants all police to wear body cameras… and nothing else.

Krispy Kreme wants to Give you a Dozen Free Donuts Today

2015-04-29T13:00:00.000-07:00

Krispy Kreme wants to give you a dozen free donuts today, coincidentally this falls on Willie Nelson’s birthday. #seriously

Michelle Keegan has been named the World’s Sexiest Woman

2015-04-29T09:39:00.001-07:00

Though no one has seen her in person, Michelle Keegan has been named the World’s Sexiest Woman! Also shocking the internet is the world’s sexiest man, Tyler Durden.

Las Vegas Hotels Anticipate Mayweather-Pacquiao Fight

2015-04-28T15:30:00.000-07:00

Even low-end properties in Las Vegas are raising their rates and packages in anticipation of the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight. For an extra $10, Red Roof Inn will include pool and bathroom towels. Not to be outdone, for an extra $10, Howard Johnson will provide sandals to wear in the shower and spray your blood-stained bedspread with febreze.

Daytime Emmy Winners

2015-04-28T09:31:00.000-07:00

Days of Our Lives and The Young and the Restless both took home the Daytime Emmy for Outstanding drama in a small bus that stopped by the pharmacy and park to feed the ducks on the way home.

Chipotle Has Gone GMO-Free

2015-04-27T17:13:00.000-07:00

Chipotle made headlines today when the fast food chain announced it has slightly increased to offset its cost in removing all genetically modified organism (GMO) ingredients from its foods. A side of guacamole now costs an average American's monthly salary.

Abercrombie & Fitch Co Removing "Hot Salesclerk" Policy

2015-04-24T09:36:00.003-07:00

After 22 years #Abercrombie & Fitch is no longer requiring sales clerks to be attractive. The company's new policy focuses on hiring people based on their sales ability and dimming the lights just a bit.

Taco Bell Has Returned to Japan

2015-04-22T10:12:00.001-07:00

After leaving in the 80's, Taco Bell has returned to Japan along with diarrhea.

Kraft Mac & Cheese is Removing Dyes

2015-04-20T14:57:00.000-07:00

Kraft has decided to remove artificial dyes in their Mac and Cheese, restoring the classic comfort meal to its original color, regret.