Waxing Beautiful

My Newest Makeup Work

2017-07-09T15:02:00.000-07:00

What I Learned: Doing Beauty Makeup for a Pro Photographer

2017-06-25T04:43:00.000-07:00

This look took me about 5 minutes. Honestly, just 5 minutes. But it was one of my strongest images of that day. Our instincts as makeup artists can be to pile on the makeup, to show what we're capable of. Sometimes, truly, less is more. The goal was to enhance the model's natural beauty and make her look luminous. I used Make Up For Ever's Water Blend foundation and Sculpting Blush. The model came in with a lot of redness and dark circles. Color correction helped tremendously. I didn't want to cover her freckles or hide her skin, which is so fair it's almost translucent.

Working for a professional beauty photographer in New York City definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone. Some of the criticism was harsh, but if you want to grow as an artist, you need to hear that and learn how to grow. In all honesty, you need a thick skin and a gentle hand.

Makeover: Going to Hollywood

2017-04-30T18:50:00.001-07:00

Bethany is an aspiring actress who is moving from the Boston area to California to pursue her dreams of becoming an actress.

How I took her from her makeup-free look to her "after" look: I applied a moisturizing and plumping serum to prep her skin and let it set. I hid darkness around her eyes with a peach-toned concealer. A hydrating foundation was applied all over. Contouring powder was applied under her cheekbones, along the sides of her nose, and underneath the tip. A highlighter was applied above the cheekbones. Her eyes, which are close-set, were widened by applying liner with an emphasis on the outer area. Her eyes were emphasized with a neutral base, then I applied a pink-toned, shimmery shadow to the inner corners. Her lashes were played up with a lengthening mascara and falsies applied at the outer edges.

Brands used: It Cosmetics, Kevyn Aucoin Beauty, Maybelline

How to Build the Life of Your Dreams and Save it in the Process

2016-11-18T14:03:00.004-08:00

You want to get away. Not just a weekend trip for a short break from the hustle of everyday life. You want to get away.

Maybe that means shedding all of the self that you’ve ever known. Maybe that means ditching the mundane routine you’ve barely muddled through for a decade. Maybe that means looking up and being able to truly appreciate the oddities of a rare beetle or the smell of baking bread without a deadline approaching. Maybe you’re aching for something far deeper.

It starts with getting away. That’s all you know for sure.

Hotel Caribe Town, a rustic bed and breakfast deliberately set five hours away from the nearest international airport in Costa Rica, is really getting away. Don’t just try it for the colorful, soothing décor or the homemade breakfasts or the personal greeting you get from the owner.

Try it because the owner knows exactly how you feel, and she created a space that’s balm to urban angst.

The owner is a testament of survival and grit, thriving today against overwhelming medical odds.

When she was just 20 years old, doctors told Jessica Sangster she had a few months to live. She immediately rerouted her goals to live out the remaining days as she wanted.

She was in college when she got the diagnosis that she had a rare heart condition which caused it to periodically stop. As scary as it was, the diagnosis (known in medical jargon as monomorphic tachycardia) was also a partial relief: For years, she had been told she was “lazy” or “clumsy” if she got winded or felt tired. To hear there was an actual reason for her symptoms was an odd comfort.

She immediately dropped out of college, eager to experience life and not sit in classes learning about it.

“If I was about to go, I wanted to know how adults lived,” Sangster says.

She also joined the corporate workforce so she could make the money she needed to have the experiences she wanted.

At just 21, she was working as an administrative assistant in the financial services world. As a woman living on borrowed time, she saw it as a lucrative industry that would make her money as quickly as possible. She worked harder than many of her colleagues, eager to prove her worth without a college degree.

Sangster far outlived the doctor’s prognosis. She also climbed the corporate ladder, got married, and had two children by the time she was in her late 20s. The years were a blur, and the life she got seemed to happen to her, rather than being one of her choosing. Inwardly, there was always a sense that her life was the product of someone trying desperately to keep friends, family and society placated.

“I had accomplished everything that society tells you will make you happy, and I was miserable,” Sangster recalls.

She even went to a psychiatrist and was put on anti-depressants. He studied her malaise at a clinical level, even theorizing that she was bipolar. Deep down, she knew what was fundamentally wrong: She felt so at odds with the corporate world, like an imposter playing a role every day.

“I was the best faker in the world,” she says.

Still, she told herself if she climbed far enough up the corporate ladder, the dissonance would subside.

When she was passed over for a promotion, she went out to Newbury Street in Boston and bought a bunch of high-end corporate suits. Once she looked more like a financial executive, she soon got the promotion.

Then she realized it didn’t assuage any of the emptiness she felt. She vividly remembers the day everything came to a head: She walked up to her office building and stood outside the door with a sense of dread. Still, she went in and worked the day. When she got home, she felt the same sense of dread as she approached the door. Her whole life seemed to say, Turn around.

By then, the only remnants of Sangster’s illness were frequent bouts of pneumonia during the punishing New England winters. Eventually, they became so bad that she was forced to look at living in a warmer climate. She and her then-husband began researching areas. She settled on Costa Rice because everything about it felt right to her: It wasn’t ruled by the military or religious dogma; it was affordable and warm; it was an easy flight home to see family.

Although Sangster and her husband divorced before she made the move, she was determined to set up a life there. When she arrived in Costa Rica, she said it felt like nothing short of falling in love. That same sense of rapture filled her. She felt finally at home.

“I remember looking out at the ocean and not seeing another person, then turning around and not seeing another person,” she says. “I felt like Boston just took and took from me, until I had nothing left to give.”

However, Costa Rica proved to have its own challenges. When purchasing a property, there is no formal inspection. It’s basically the Wild-Wild West where the buyer negotiates the mortgage with the seller. The first year, Sangster came upon obstacle after obstacle while trying to set up a bed and breakfast. The building had far more problems than she’d anticipated, from electrical issues to no plumbing to major structural issues. The expenses became so high, she began to count on the kindness of others to cover basic living needs. While the stresses of trying to get the building fixed were immense, she never considered returning to her former life. One of Sangster’s favorite sayings is by Winston Churchill: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

She did.

“When you’re trying to change your life, don’t give yourself an out,” she cautions sternly. “If you do, you will run the moment things get scary.”

It took her five years to get the property fully renovated, but it is now running successfully as a bed and breakfast. She and her fiancé work from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. every day, but the workload doesn’t drain her. She is filled, rather than depleted, by her work. Her illness has been in remission for years. She shed 50 pounds since moving to Costa Rica, something she attributes to going on a diet from corporate America. She is now forty, an accomplishment on its own considering she was never to make it to legal drinking age.

Sangster takes pride that her guests are willing to make the five-hour journey to her bed and breakfast. The intention is to make them feel away from the “real world,” to put them in immediate proximity to the natural surroundings, and to feed them only unprocessed food that is in as pure a state as possible. The feel of the hotel is rustic and homey, not like it’s trying to imitate one of the major five-star chain hotels. The patterns and colors are bright and uplifting. The little touches, such as a kitchenette for guests to make meals, are to give them a more personalized stay. The sand on the neighboring beach is either white or black, depending on the weather.

“I make people happy for a living,” Sangster says with punctual emphasis. “It’s wonderful. There’s a big difference between a life of happy moments and a happy life. I have a happy life.”

Sangster even fell in love again during the process, this time with a person and not just the place. Once the ultimate cynic about romantic love, she now emphatically believes it exists and says to never settle for anything less.

Sangster knows her guests are people looking for a respite from the outer cold or their own inner cold, and she is eager to provide them with that sense of warmth. She and her fiancé make all of the breakfasts, and everything down to the jelly is homemade. Until recently, they did almost all the daily operations work, including room cleaning. They’ve just expanded their staff to a count of four, including housekeeping.

As for the illness, she is grateful for it. It forced her to live the life that was of her own making and not built around societal expectation, a business card, or a fancy corporate title.

“I think about how lucky I was that I got this (heart condition). It gave me a real respect for life,” she says. “Never give up or accept second best. The right life, the right love, is out there for each of us. I truly believe this. We need to learn to keep searching.”

Strivectin Product Review

2016-01-17T10:14:00.002-08:00

The Reality of Today's Workforce and the Lessons

2015-12-18T18:50:00.001-08:00

I recruit for a company now: This is a job I never sought out or thought I'd have any interest in. I see three types of people: The young job seeker who has plenty of time to turn his or her life around; the older worker whose back is against the wall and is choking down his or her pride; and then there's the older worker who has been in dead-end employment all his or her life and doesn't do anything to get out of the trap. There are probably hundreds of stories behind their respective journeys to this job, stories I wonder about frequently.

I've seen more illiteracy than I ever knew existed in our country. If it looks depressing as a statistic, it's far harder to see in the form of a 58-year-old man whose expression has gelled into a permanent state of despondency. I've seen people who don't know where to start when they see a computer. I've seen people literally scraping for spare change, going hungry, living a hand-to-mouth existence. The irony is they're working for one of the richest companies in the world.

I don't blame the company's founder: He was the brilliant one who took a risk that worked for him. There's a quote that 99% of the population is working for the 1% of the population that had the courage to pursue a dream. Most of us don't risk because we're scared, so we go the route we think is safe. My own situation is a reflection of that choice we all have deep inside us but let go undisturbed. So we live a "safe" life of a steady paycheck, but it costs us something deeper: Our souls.

The way out of struggle isn't another job. Maybe there was a time when it was, but it isn't anymore. I read Inc. magazine, which recently dedicated an entire issue to people who got into financial hot water and pulled themselves out. The common theme was they figured out a way to make money themselves: They didn't rely on a raise, promotion, or a winning scratch ticket.

When the financial collapse of 2008 occurred, it was a huge lesson that your employer won't save you. I saw so many people who gave more than 20 years of their lives to a company, only to be tossed out once times got tough. What caused the collapse is inexcusable and impacted millions of people who had nothing to do with predatory lending.

When you're recruiting, you learn to spot situations that don't make sense: I saw an older man in a training session whipping through the computer application process, then helping others who were computer illiterate. I spotted him a few weeks later on the warehouse floor. Maybe we both sensed we didn't seem to belong there. He came up to me and asked what I was doing there. I asked him his story. He was a financial executive for many years, making $200,000/year. When the economy crashed, he got laid off and has been unable to find another job. At 58, he knows his age is working against him in the job search. Even though age discrimination is illegal, it goes on all the time. He's been given the “you're overqualified” speech many times. Now his back is against the wall, and he's working for $12/hour in a warehouse. His wife told him to get a job – anything he could get – to help pay the gas bill and their real estate taxes. His mortgage is tied up in litigation for being a predatory loan.

When a company tries to lure employees in, they use the carrot-and-stick approach: You can grow here (maybe, but usually that will be if the right person likes you and the politics work in your favor); you can win a flatscreen TV or an Xbox if you dutifully come to work (feed poverty with more liabilities). What would be the better approach? You can LEARN here. You can learn a skill that will empower you to someday embark on your own journey. The smart ones will cull something valuable from the experience and move on to a greater journey. I wish I could tell them all this advice, but I can't. I have to read off a corporate presentation and stay silent about the truth. One job applicant, who didn't have a filter but did have a brain, blurted out during the presentation: "That is some serious brainwashing!"

Ultimately, each of us, dealing with varying levels of struggle, need to learn we're our own answer to our own problems. For me, I stopped almost all discretionary purchases when the economy collapsed (Black Friday and Cyber Monday held no appeal to me, but I saw many pull out their credit cards and stand outside in the cold at 2 a.m.). If I have to buy something, I weigh it long and hard and only buy it if it's an absolute need. I've learned the hard way how to distinguish between an asset and a liability. I hate the frustration I feel daily, and that frustration motivates me to think harder and deeper about what I really want in life, what my true passions are, and how I can give back to the world even in moments when I think there's nothing to give.

Review: L'Oreal Visible Lift Blur foundation

2015-10-29T18:23:00.001-07:00

After 25, there are definitely things you might want to "blur." This has become the new buzzword in the makeup industry: Optical illusion through makeup that takes down the appearance of things like fine lines and wrinkles through a "blurring" technique. Call it the reverse HD effect. The product retails for close to $15 (pricey for a drugstore foundation) and comes in a plastic squeeze tube.

This foundation looks great on the skin upon first application. I don't see a visible difference in things like fine lines, nor do I see any lifting effect, but it does create an airbrushed finish. As a cautionary, if you have combination to oily skin, the foundation wears down and separates very quickly. The initial result lasts a short amount of time.

I imagine this product lasts much better on someone with normal to dry skin. It has a moisturizing texture and isn't long-wear. I also don't know that I buy into the "blurring" effect of the product: I remember trying Lancome's Teint Resist, and in every single light (including florescent), I looked amazing (and of course it's off the market). I swear, that foundation contained unicorn tears. Optical filters are a wonderful idea, but the company doesn't really explain how the product works, and I don't see that dramatic an effect on the skin.

If your skin is dry or normal and you want to minimize the look of fine lines, this product is possibly worth a try. Overall, I don't think it's worth the hype or promises. Miracle? No. Blur? Undetermined.

Review: L'Oreal Voluminous Superstar mascara

2015-10-27T23:08:00.000-07:00

Mascara is one of the hardest products to review, because everyone's lashes are different and take to mascaras differently. I rarely review mascaras because I have a very sad story: I have typical Asian lashes - short, straight, almost non-existent. They're a little like Whoopi Goldberg's eyebrows.

I'm envious when I watch the non-Asian reviewers applying mascara and it boosting what's already there. For me, finding a mascara that produces a visible result is a huge accomplishment. The first mascara that accomplished this for me was Cover Girl Professional mascara. A few years back, I discovered the L'Oreal Voluminous line. There have been so many offspring of this original version that I can't keep it straight: Some have worked for me; some haven't. L'Oreal's Full Definition performed so well on me, I kept repurchasing it. Then, as it happens, it got discontinued.

I tried L'Oreal Superstar mascara on the hunch that a primer would help the helpless. To my amazement, the primer adds a level of volume and definition to the lashes. The mascara itself produces visible length and volume to my lashes. Here's the litmus test: If after I apply the mascara, my lashes touch my glasses, I know a measurable impact occurred. This happens every time I apply this mascara.

The brush is the standard L'Oreal Voluminous curved wand. The formula is thick but doesn't appear clumpy on the lashes. The mascara applies smoothly and leaves lashes evenly defined. After a day's wear, there is no flaking or smudging.

Before

After

What It Means to be a Journalist

2015-10-18T03:56:00.000-07:00

The job that intrigues people the most about me is that I was journalist. They think it sounds glamorous, maybe gutsy. When I try to explain the world of it, I am thrown back into a fascinating whirlwind of stories - other people's stories. To be a really good journalist is to be able to morph yourself into someone else's world and mind long enough to tell their story.

Here's how it started: I was a child who got put in the Blue Birds group for reading comprehension. The Blue Birds were the strongest readers and writers. When other children would struggle with a word, I'd get so frustrated that I'd want to get up and read it for them. I could remember how to spell a word just by seeing it once. My brain didn't work like that in other areas, but words landed in my mind like photographic images.

I would write prolifically as a child, spending hours I couldn't recall later roped into the world of the word. Something happens to a writer's brain during the writing process: Time stops and you lose all sense of self. Words actually appear on the page before your brain fully processes them. Literally, I would stand up a few times and wonder, How did that get there? I didn't write that.

While other students struggled trying to figure out their major in college, I knew that I would be a journalist. I didn't know it isn't always a lucrative career, and it's one of the one's most susceptible to economic collapses. I once read that passion doesn't make sense. You follow it because there's no other choice.

The dichotomy of me is that I'm by nature a very introverted and shy person. Once I got into a journalism job, I learned fast that I'd have to fight that in order to pull information from people. I also learned journalists have terrible reputations: People just inherently don't trust them. People would test me with "off the record" and "on the record." If they later saw anything that was "off the record" in print, they wouldn't talk to me. This never happened, because I never burned them. Yet I knew I was getting tested for my integrity.

When I got to New York City, I became a financial journalist. My manager told me my first day, "Call traders. You're going to sink or swim." It was one of the scariest tasks as a early twenty-something, but I swam.

Here's what worked: I got straight to the point; I listened; I used my soft, feminine voice to entice them to call back (that's as far as I'll go with playing the "girl card"). I also learned about people very fast: Some of the most outwardly friendly traders were the scammers, and the most bristly trader ended up being the most honest. Journalism is a strange dance of psychology: You're reading them, and they're reading you.

I left journalism when September 11, 2001 hit. Many of the young journalists voluntarily walked away. Why? Because in the midst of tremendous grief, we were asked to call people and pull a story. Here's where I'm not a hardcore journalist: When someone is hurting, I don't want to intrude and ask them how much it hurts so I can get marketable copy.

I remember us sitting in a divey bar shortly before we all left. Prince's Purple Rain was playing in the background. Our futures were unmapped, but we were young with the mystery of time on our side. In the years following, I went back into journalism, then I tried a series of office jobs that were boring but provided the false sense of security journalism never does.

The reality is, I am still a journalist. It's in my blood. No job compares to telling the truth of our world.

Makeup Work: Bronze Beach Beauty

2015-07-08T15:41:00.001-07:00

Before & After Mom Makeover: Bringing Back a Little Wearable Glamour

2015-07-06T18:12:00.000-07:00

Amy is my former high school classmate. She was one of the most popular girls. I was certainly not. Amy never treated me like it mattered. Back then and today she is kind, hilarious, open-hearted. She is a wonderful wife and mother who spends most of her time caring for her two young children. I thought she deserved a little time on herself and offered to do her makeup. Her children didn't like what I did to their mom ("You have two black eyes!"), but hopefully Amy did.

Newest Makeup Work: Before & After

2015-07-05T21:49:00.001-07:00

Before

After

Model: Sapphire Ng
Photographer: Rick T. White
MUA: Erica Mathews

Products:

Foundation: Graftobian
Eye Shadow: Urban Decay
Eyeliner/Mascara: L'Oreal
Blush: Nyx
Contour: Cielmiera
Highlight: Kevyn Aucoin Beauty
Lipstick: Make Up For Ever

Bruce Jenner's Transformation & The American Conscience

2015-05-18T04:29:00.000-07:00

I was surprised at how raw the footage was from "About Bruce," even for the Kardashians. The TMI-style reality show is usually lighthearted and pieced together as a scripted antics comedy. This was seeing Jenner and the family completely unguarded.

I was too young to see Jenner win at the Olympics, but knew him from the Wheaties boxes and his legacy as an all-American athlete. He resonated in the collective conscience as a symbol of masculinity and wholesomeness. To know he'd been living with a big secret most of his life evokes sympathy and compassion.

What Jenner needs to do is understand that while his announcement is courageous and freeing, some in the family will be jarred by their understanding of him as a male figure and question their own lifetime memories. To them, it is a grieving process of saying goodbye to what they knew; to him, he will finally be arriving honestly in their lives.

When he told Khloe that his biggest concern was for his two youngest biological daughters, the comment had a palpable sting. Khloe was right to feel hurt, as he was the only father figure she had growing up. Biology doesn't designate someone more important than another. Jenner commented in the Diane Sawyer interview that it's ironic Khloe is taking this the hardest, since she's known for being "the most open-minded one." I don't think Khloe's issue is with transgender; the issue she bears is with men and deceit.

My first client as an MUA was the most masculine male you could imagine: His build and facial features bore that same handsome athleticism as Jenner's earlier years. We talked a little before I attempted to transform him into a woman. The only thing he could say was that he'd been born in the wrong body. I couldn't understand personally what the inner turmoil must feel like, but could liken it a little to being Asian and raised by white parents. I related to everything American, but when I glanced in the mirror or someone treated me differently, I was reminded what was physically apparent and how I felt were different.

In his early 30s, the client's body was betraying him more: Body hair and everything else indicative of male anatomy only seemed to be intensifying. "I don't think I have much time left," he told me. His time to be true to himself was running out simply because of testosterone and his own loose grip on self-acceptance.

I would be lying if I said I was completely comfortable putting feminine artifice on a man. What we see and what is the truth can shake us even if we think we're completely open-minded. As I worked on a man on no hormones, I realized the huge gap between what a man and a woman look like. Hirsute doesn't begin to describe it. It took well over an hour to try to conceal the beard stubble, even though he'd shaved as closely as possible. Trying to feminize sharp, angular features took so much elbow grease that I was in a full sweat by the time I finished.

Though I cursed the amount of work it took, it was an amazing lesson in understanding makeup and understanding how much our gender identity affects us. He put on a dress and his wig and a sigh of peace came over him.

I think Jenner's courage is remarkable, and I hope his influence as a celebrity encourages more people with gender identity issues to come out of hiding. As a side note, I would love to see him in makeup. He will make a beautiful woman.

Contour & Highlighting: Let's Explain What it Means

2015-05-16T02:43:00.002-07:00

Ok, this concept has had a spike in popularity as meteoric as the Kardashians', but it's been used in makeup artistry for many decades. I'm not on Instagram, so I don't know how badly this concept is being abused as an attempt to take 10 pounds off the face or try to essentially redesign it.

It has inevitably spurred a backlash, as with any idea that's taken too far. You can blame the Youtubers that are looking like they're about to enter battle or go to a sports event where the team colors or brown and white.

The problem is the oversimplification of the concept: Some argue that it's revisionist, deceptive and even harmful to the psyche. The problem started when it was explained as simply as "put a dark color here, and put a light color here." Recede and highlight. If your mindset to doing it is to try to change your face, this is a harmful concept. Here's another take on it: Contour and highlighting simply enhances the bone structure that's already there. All of makeup is based on the concept of enhancing and tricking the eye. Makeup itself is challenged by some as a lack of self-acceptance.

So take it or leave it: You can view it as deceptive, or you can view it as a way to pull out the bones that already exist in the face. Personally, I love the architecture of bone structure.

When I first decided to design a contour and highlight product, it was before the commercial explosion. It was before Youtubers were posting tribal warrior tutorials. I was frankly frustrated that there wasn't a product out there designed for contour and highlighting. By that I mean it isn't as simple as applying a foundation two or three shades darker to areas you want to recede and two or three shades lighter to areas you want to highlight. The artistry behind it is more complex than that, and it takes a product that addresses and simplifies the process.

Newest Makeup Work: Old-Hollywood Glamour

2015-04-19T21:01:00.000-07:00

The makeup was about achieving an ethereal glow to the skin, doing dramatic eyes, and keeping the look clean and polished. Amanda is an overworked young woman: She holds a day job, goes to school, yet always shows up to modeling assignments professional and upbeat. I mixed a little vitamin E oil with my favorite moisturizer, CeraVe. Then I went to work on creating a polished, glowing canvas, using a BB cream with a bronzing effect and highlighter around her eyes, tops of the cheekbones, and bridge of the nose. I contoured lightly using my Cielmiera contour stick, emphasizing her cheekbones and working around the sides of her nose. Kiss brand (my current favorite) false lashes were applied to emphasize her gorgeous, translucent green eyes.

The Money Scam Using Vogue Magazine's Name

2015-04-11T13:38:00.000-07:00

I was contacted a couple weeks ago by someone representing himself as James Patrick. He said he was a talent scout and that Vogue commissions what is termed as "emerging talent" as a corporate responsibility initiative. The initial e-mails sounded legitimate, but I kept my enthusiasm in check.

There were things about this person that didn't check out: He was using a gmail account and not one out of Condenast or Vogue. He could be professional and polite in one e-mail and condescending and demanding in the next.

As the correspondence went on, he said he would pay for the makeup I needed for the shoot, then the money would be redirected to someone who represented himself as Michael Flutie. I googled Michael Flutie, and he does come up as a legitimate talent agent. But anyone can create an e-mail account under someone's name.

The check came as promised, and I deposited it. James Patrick immediately pushed to get the money redirected to Michael Flutie. This set up another red flag. Why didn't he just pay Michael Flutie directly rather than going through a third-party? Why was there such a rush to get the money redirected immediately?

The person representing himself as Michael Flutie wanted the money sent to him by MoneyGram. MoneyGram asks a lot of questions before completing a transfer. One question is do you know the recipient personally? I answered honestly and said no, which prompted a lot more questions. MoneyGram suspected the transaction was a scam and declined it.

The following day, I checked my account to see if the check had cleared. It had, so I agreed to work with Citizens Bank to send the money to Michael Flutie. When I approached Citizens Bank, they looked at the routing information and said it wasn't correct. They asked similar questions that MoneyGram asked, such as if I know the person and why was I sending this person money. Red flags started to pop up in the banker's mind and he printed the check I was written. Upon examining it, he said there were a number of indications that the check was fraudulent. Citizens Bank also declined making the wire transfer and said the check will likely bounce in a couple weeks.

The final red flag was an imploring e-mail from James Patrick. He asked me to do the transfer through Western Union and to lie and say that the recipient is my cousin.

It is disheartening that there are people out there who will play on someone's hopes and aspirations to try to make money illegally. Always be alert to potential scams, ask a lot of questions, and if your instincts tell you something doesn't seem legitimate, listen to them.

What Happens When You Design A Product That Blows Up in the Market

2015-04-05T14:57:00.000-07:00

1. I am sooooo tired of saying "contouring and highlighting."

2. I want to timestamp my starting point to prove it was once an original idea.

3. I use pretentious words like "undertone" all the time.

4. I keep having to kick back the prototypes because the "undertone" isn't quite the perfect balance of shading I wanted.

5. I don't go on Sephora.com anymore, because every 2.3 seconds, another contour/highlighter has launched.

6. I still go on Sephora.com because I need to see the 1,800 contour/highlighters that have launched in the past six months.

7. I still love the concept of contouring and highlighting, but I hate the way it's become just a gimmick to ride the trend. Don't put a brown powder in a pan and push it for $40. It's truly harder than that.

8. I've had to think smarter/harder now that the market has been flooded. I both love and hate the challenge. When I bemoaned this challenge, a friend gave me this advice: "Thousands of restaurants make hamburgers. Make the best one."

Before & After: Cielmiera Contour & Highlighter

2015-03-22T04:02:00.003-07:00

Makeup: Erica Mathews (Me)
Photography: Rick White
Model: Amanda C.

Contouring & Highlighting How-To: Cielmiera

2015-01-31T12:16:00.001-08:00

Makeover: College Co-Ed to Glamour Girl

2015-01-17T02:26:00.001-08:00

I have a problem: I see people, and I don't see how they look. I see what I would do to them, how I would do their makeup if life were my own makeup studio, how they could look. I do this constantly - on trains, in stores, everywhere. I have actually approached people and asked if I could do their makeup. The oddest thing is I'm shy, and even odder is that everyone so far has said yes (although women have told me if I were a man the question would creep them out).

Alyssa is a naturally beautiful 20-year-old woman; there isn't anything to "fix." But when I saw her photo of her own makeup, my mind did a mental transformation of her. In person, I saw a waifish girl with skin magazines herald as creamy and features so delicate they seemed almost invisible.

Alyssa with makeup as she does it

Alyssa after I did her makeup

Starting My Own Makeup Line: Cielmiera

2014-12-20T23:47:00.002-08:00

What's starting your own makeup line like? Scary, expensive, time-consuming, and yes, exciting. I can't clock the moment I started this journey, but it began in my head about five years ago when I began to think about what made me love makeup products and hate them, where I saw holes in the market, what I knew the consumer wanted and wasn't being given.

My first investor was my father: The Bank of Dad. He hates makeup, has zero interest in it, and thinks it's a waste of time. When I approached him for help with start-up funds, I expected I'd have to create Powerpoint slides and flow charts to explain my business idea. He glazed over in seconds, then he offered me the money as a loan. I don't think he believes in what I'm doing, but he believes in me. Once someone else's skin is in the game, you take an endeavor very seriously.

I had one vision to start: a contour and highlighter product that would change the game. This product has gone through multiple revisions as I try to perfect the idea in my head and match it with a tangible product that delivers. When the manufacturer didn't understand the color concept I wanted, I went on the Benjamin Moore website and sent swatches. It took a conference call with six people on the other line for me to clearly outline all the specs. I felt demanding and Napoleonic at times, but I had to be clear and specific if I wanted to get the product I'd envisioned.

I also had to go to attorneys for patent and trademark consultation. My first two names failed the trademark knock-off test. Finally, I settled on Cielmiera, a hybrid word that has meanings I like and that would eventually pass the knock-off search. The patent attorney was excellent, but she was also honest: Makeup products are very difficult to patent unless there's a new ingredient involved in the formulation.

Cielmiera will launch in early 2015. My last correspondence with the manufacturing company was that with Christmas looming, there would be a three-week lag in the next prototype. I was hard on their first version, but I explained to them that the consumer is tough to please and I know what gets scrutinized. All the while, I remembered something: I am the consumer. I know her mind.

Yes, there is the question of whether the product will succeed or fail, but I'm acting on a hunch and an instinct and pushing through fear with the stronger forces of internal knowing. If the product succeeds, I already have designs on how I want to expand and what my brand will focus on.

I know I'm up against a lot: A saturated market, juggernaut brands, etc. All I can remember is this: It isn't about the size of the dog in the fight, but about the size of the fight in the dog.

www.cielmieramakeup.com The site is currently under construction but will go live soon.

Before

With Cielmiera Contour and Highlighter

Robin Williams: One of the Greats

2014-08-21T11:10:00.001-07:00

When I first heard of Robin Williams' suicide, my initial thought was, He was so talented and accomplished. What would he have to be depressed about? That is the complexity and misnomer of depression: That it only afflicts those who have something to be depressed about.

I once asked an actor friend what makes a great actor. She explained that "You don't see the celebrity or the actor; you see a really great character."

Williams had that talent, able to move seamlessly between the comedic genius that got him established and into serious and even dark roles with equal talent and intensity. Some comedic actors struggle with the transition. Williams made it look easy. As famous as he was, as distinctive as he looked, you didn't see Robin Williams when he was acting: You became so pulled into the character he was portraying, he disappeared and a great character took form and walked around inside your mind. I read one fan's description as he was one of the few actors able to take the formless dreamlike state we have and make it exist in waking time.

Even in comedic roles like Mrs. Doubtfire, Williams could cast a pained and troubled gaze, perhaps something that he culled from his own depths. In light of his passing, this saddens me. He was likely a deeply sensitive soul whose success just didn't outpace his struggles.

He was truly one of the greatest acting talents of our time, and he left a tremendous body of work to be remembered by. The world dimmed a little when he took his life, and a palpable loss shook both the professional acting community and the fans he touched. His time wasn't finished on earth, but he will live on.

Am I Daughter Enough?

2014-06-26T23:04:00.001-07:00

My sister estranged herself from the entire family two years ago. Long, complicated, tumultuous story, but the fact remains that she and her husband cut off all contact. I truly believe none of us will hear from her again.

They say when a person leaves your life, you slowly learn to live without her. This is both sad and soothing to know. The truth is, I have: She no longer comes up in conversation, and I think of her less with time. Because her name starts with the letter B, I mentally remind myself to not mention the "B word."

If someone asks about my family, I still have to momentarily stop and concoct an easy answer: Yes, I do have one. It's slowly dissipating, but it exists. End of questions?

If someone asks if I have any siblings, my heart sinks a little and my mind scatters: There is the legal answer (yes, I do); there is the technical answer (yes, I do); there is the emotional answer (no, I don't).

The hardest part of her leaving has been trying to be essentially the two children my parents thought they would always have. When holidays come around like taxes, I have to steel myself for the extra effort. Can I be cheerful, loving, gracious and satisfactory enough to keep my parents fulfilled with just me? Will all that smiling and surface conversation mask the elephant in the room?

I constantly ask myself if I am "daughter enough" for them.

My sister and I were opposites and that polarity kept my parents fulfilled in a way that I alone cannot replace. I had to deal with mourning her loss (grieving over a living person is a complex process unlike grieving over a dead one). I know she's out there - breathing, making friends, and building a life - but she is also completely gone.

When my parents redid their Wills recently, they did it in part to cut her out. It was one of the final pieces that made the door to reconciliation close. I was in turn made the exclusive beneficiary. It wasn't a happy moment: With it, came an added responsibility and expectation that I would fulfill their final wishes and be the executor of their estate. I would also stay firmly planted in their life, or there would be another call to a lawyer.

They say being a parent is a great responsibility, but with age, being the child becomes a growing responsibility. They raised you, and they're aging, and now it's time for you to pay them back. Despite a childhood that was a mix of good and terrible times, I always pretend all of my memories are happy ones. When my father leaned in and asked on Father's Day what my happiest memories are, I came up with a really longwinded tale told through rose-colored glasses.

I do this frequently to keep them appeased and to hopefully ease their hurt over losing a child I can't replace. I can't be their two daughters. I can only ask myself if I am enough as the one left behind.

Swat Makeover

2014-06-26T13:35:00.000-07:00

My Horrible Day

2014-06-08T09:00:00.003-07:00

So I believe that no matter your age or your experience in another field, when you dip your toe into a new profession, you're back at square one: That means pay your dues, do grunt work, even offer to work for free.

And that's exactly what I did yesterday. I offered to help a relatively well-established wedding makeup artist in Western, MA who had double-booked her day. That meant two weddings back-to-back. And when I say back-to-back, I mean that there was literally no wiggle room between finishing one wedding and going to the next.

I was happy to offer to help her in whatever way I could, even if it meant solely doing the grunt, unglamorous and sweaty work with no pay. When I have a passion, just being in the vicinity of it makes me happy. And if I get more responsibility than I asked for, I feel weightless.

The day started very early, around 6 a.m., since we had to drive to a location more than an hour from her house. Even on little sleep and not an adequate amount of caffeine, I was looking forward to the day. It wasn't long before my mood soured. The artist was stressed due to the overbooking and last-minute add-ons. With a second person on hand, she could've delegated non-makeup tasks to me: Prepping faces with sunscreen, moisturizer or primer. But when I asked, she quickly dismissed it and said, "Just watch my time."

So my job turned into simply monitoring the phone. Ok. Fine. I did the task without saying anything. At one point, she took a bathroom break. I stepped in to wipe any sweat from the bride-to-be's naked face and apply sunscreen and moisturizer.

When the makeup artist began working on the bride, she huffed, "God, so much moisturizer!" and wiped her hands across the bride's face not one, not two, but six times. I got the point: She thought I sucked at applying moisturizer.

Here's the truth, everyone: It takes zero skill to apply moisturizer. I applied less than a dime-size amount to the bride's face and used a makeup brush for hygiene reasons. I thought rubbing my hands all over the bride's face would be bad form, so no, I didn't give a face massage to get the moisturizer "skillfully" absorbed.

I stayed silent as the makeup artist huffed, even though I thought it was bad professional decorum on her part to criticize an assistant's work in front of the client. As brushes dirtied, she'd throw them in my direction and say, "Clean this." Here's another thing: It takes zero effort to say "please" and "thank you," especially to someone who volunteered to help you and is not your employee. It also resonates well with an observant client.

The day went on and got hotter and muggier. My mood dampened with it. By the end of the day, I was texting my boyfriend describing my acidic mood and the most insulting highlights of the day. At one point, as the makeup artist complained that she was so overbooked she should've called in another MUA, I went out on a limb and said, "Well, I do have some skills and can help."

The reaction made the world go into slow-motion. She let out a skeptical hybrid of a huff and a laugh, peppered with, "Then show me your portfolio."

She has seen my work. I sent her several images before the first time I assisted her. Maybe she forgets the images. Maybe she just wasn't impressed. I don't need a full flip-book to do minor prep-work. While I don't have the business she does, I have a background, have studied and taken makeup classes, and have done wedding makeup.

At one point, driving between jobs, I mentioned a blush in a recent MAC collection. Her response was a dismissive, "I only followed those when I was just a hobbyist."

I got it. I was just a hobbyist. Add that dig to an 85 degree New England day, no AC in her car, and a busted window that wouldn't roll down on the passenger side, and biting my tongue was like trying to stop a hiccup. I did, though.

Here's yet another secret, everyone: Makeup artistry is a skill, but it isn't saving the world or finding a cure for cancer. I vowed then and there to remember that. It is an artistic pursuit that is elevating at its best, but it can be learned by many and the techniques aren't that complex. The brides that hire someone often don't want to take the time selecting products or thinking out the process on a day rife with so many logistics. It isn't that they are incapable.

As I watched the makeup artist, I began to mentally play out a paint-by-numbers process: By the end of the day, I could rehash the full process, since it played out the same with each of the 10-plus women she worked on that day. Her work was flattering and most of the women looked happy with the results. But at the end of the day, it was a job and she fulfilled it. No one's life was cured.

I remember some famous makeup artists saying themselves, "It's only makeup" and "It's not rocket science." I love makeup. I probably always will. But I remember what it is and what it isn't. At the end of the day, it should be fun or it's nothing.