Today… as I look out over the next few years we are only beginning to see the work He is doing. Paying off our debt and breaking free from materialism are just glimpses of the things He has planned. Our marriage is supposed to be a picture of redemption, from Christ to his bride. That story will be told and retold as we walk through different stages of life.

Today… I am grateful for your love and content with my life.

================================================== You just finished reading Today my love by John Make sure to visit Today my love to leave a comment! Thanks for being a part of We Roquemore - We Love Because He First Loved Us

RSS is an amazing way for people who like to read more than a couple blogs to keep up with any updates from those blogs. Basically it is like having your own newsstand with only the content creators YOU choose. With so much going on in the social web, it can be hard to remember exact which sites you want to visit often. When you are reading a blog look for the official RSS icon to see if they offer a “feed” of all the content. The best part about many RSS feeds is they are FREE!

RSS Icon - heart version

Enjoy this video titled RSS in Plain English:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0klgLsSxGsU

Or visit the Common Craft site to see the newer high quality version of RSS in Plain English (then come back here and subscribe!!)

Subscribe to We Roquemore using RSS

RSS is part of every blog. An easy way to get the website address/URL for an RSS feed is to add “feed” to the end of the site name.
Try it with We Roquemore:

1. Type in weroquemore.com
2. Add “/feed” to the end
3. See what our RSS feed looks like

RSS is a great tool to make it easy to read and share stories, news and other blog updates. You can subscribe to the blog feed for We Roquemore and get anything we publish without remembering to visit our site – of course check back and make sure to leave comments on anything you find interesting!

Lee Anne and I use Google Reader for our RSS feeds.

Connect to We Roquemore on Facebook and Twitter

We post new blog entries on Facebook and Twitter as well as miscellaneous updates on our life adventures. Coming later this year we hope to use both sites to share even more of our journey in marriage, parenting and learning the simple way of life!

================================================== You just finished reading RSS Updates [HOW TO GUIDE] by John Make sure to visit RSS Updates [HOW TO GUIDE] to leave a comment! Thanks for being a part of We Roquemore - We Love Because He First Loved Us

What I mean is this:
“The glory of God is a human being fully alive.” – Saint Irenaeus

{The rest of that quote is “… and to be alive consists in beholding God.”}

When I think about ‘being fully alive,’ what most comes to mind is vulnerability.
God created us to be in relationship with Him & the people around us. We build relationships by opening ourselves to someone else.
That’s vulnerability. That’s what builds closeness {or intimacy}.

It’s scary to be vulnerable with others; it’s scary to receive vulnerability from others.
It can be scary because there’s another human being about to share their brokenness with you, or it can be scary because you’re about to share your brokenness with someone else.

That’s our commonality {our least common denominator, if you will} in humanity: brokenness.

What confirms that a fear should exist is when your vulnerability is met with nothing from the other side.
When you’re talking to someone & perhaps you’re sharing that you really struggle to be patient with your child.
Or maybe, you’re really struggling to be diligent with your finances.
You share this thing… this place where you’re willingly displaying your brokenness..
And on the other side of the relationship, is a person who acts like they’ve just never imagined such a travesty. Like, they can’t fathom what it would be like to lose patience with their children.
Or that they’re completely on top of their finances.
Or simply, and most often, that everything in their life is just dandy. Perhaps they imply that they don’t struggle with anything.

It’s like the scene you’ve seen on TV where someone’s preparing for a job interview & they’re asked what their weaknesses are & they say, “I work too hard. I pay too much attention to the details. I care too much about my teammates.”
You laugh at these scenes because these people are being unreal. They’re acting as if they don’t have things that they struggle with. That they aren’t broken.

And that disconnects us from each other. It leaves no room for growth, and it’s disheartening for someone who’s trying to be in a relationship with you & wanting both of you to grow together.

Confession is refreshing. It lifts a burden from our souls and it’s such a basic form of vulnerability.
There’s something so radically different about the moments of confession in my marriage with John – the place where one of us comes to the other & humbly admits that we’ve been wrong. And the moment before the other person reacts. The fear that there might not be acceptance, and the reassurance that this is a relationship of unconditional love. That forgiveness is foundational here. That connects us in a way that’s so different from anything else in our lives. It’s beautiful. It’s humbling, honest, raw moments that bring us closer together & connect us deeply. And it always leads to more closeness {or intimacy}.

We live in a world that doesn’t value vulnerability.
I can’t tell you how many times & how many different ways I’ve heard it said.
Our culture says, “always put your best foot forward,” “never let your weaknesses show,” and so many other things that tell us that showing our humanity is going to destroy us.
We live in a culture that hushes you when you cry, that suppresses your expressions of your emotions because they’re viewed as weaknesses, “and no one wants to see that.”

But if we think about the most moving moments in our lives, it’s where people are being vulnerable.
Where they’re risking something {be it rejection or something far more intense} to share truth & pursue growth.

We have this practice in our home which came from something we heard Ted Sinn over at New City in Orlando share before we were married, and it radically changed the way I think about apologies… If you think about it, we’re so quick to say I’m sorry. ‘I’m sorry to hear about your ….’, ‘I’m sorry that you’re having a bad day,’ ‘I’m sorry that you’re sick,’ and so on. The phrase ‘I’m sorry’ no longer has any relation to a person’s responsibility for their actions. And we use the same language when we are apologizing to someone & are supposed to be responsible for our actions. We push our kids to ‘tell so-and-so that you’re sorry for hitting them,’ and we say ‘I’m sorry for this or that,’ or even just ‘I’m sorry.’
But how radical is it to replace that phrase with, “I was wrong.” So when I go to John, I have to say, “I was wrong for being disrespectful to you. I was wrong for responding in anger. I am wrong for putting my agenda before you.”
And that sets your heart in such a different place. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like being wrong. I especially don’t like telling John {or anyone else} that I was wrong.

Using that language gives the other person the opportunity to put you down & say ‘you were wrong, and you’re stupid and I hate you,’ {preferably more mature language than that, but you get my point…} or to let you know that you’re unconditionally loved, forgiven & that you are worth knowing, even when you’re wrong.

So, I challenge you to be real. Be vulnerable. Be willing to say, “I was wrong.”
Because it’s powerful. And it’s the stuff that builds deep relationships.
That vulnerability is what makes us more fully alive.
And that’s a place where God’s glory shines so magnificently.

================================================== You just finished reading I was wrong. by Lee Anne Make sure to visit I was wrong. to leave a comment! Thanks for being a part of We Roquemore - We Love Because He First Loved Us

Women would so freely share their opinions about the “crazy” people they know who had natural births
and even BREASTFED until their children were able to *GASP* ask to do so.

Women who told me natural birth was stupid.
Women who told me I would be begging for an epidural.
Women who told me I would never make it with cloth diapers.
Women who told me I should be grateful that “God provided formula” because breastfeeding “sucks.”

Almost everywhere I turned, someone was saying, “you can’t,” or “you won’t,” or “just wait and see.”
It feels similar to people who are bitter about marriage & tell newly engaged couples or newlyweds to ‘just wait’ because the first year, or second year, or third year, was the worst ever. Or to wait 10 years & see if your spouse is still your favourite person.
We tell newly pregnant moms that birth is the most awful, most painful thing ever and that they’ll never sleep again. We bombard them with hopeless messages & create fear in them that renders them immobile.

Why, oh why, do we feel the need to take away other people’s courage?
Why must we destroy people’s desire to do good things? Why is that so pervasive especially when those good things are different than your own choices?

As many of you readers might know, we chose not to vaccinate our daughter.
The plethora of things I’ve been told about parents who don’t vaccinate is enough to make any parent want to cry.
The things that have been said directly to me about my choice not to vaccinate is certainly enough to make me want to cry, if I hadn’t made a well-informed decision.

I’ve come up with so many things to say in response to people’s hate toward my desire to do things in a way that might be different from the way they did things.

But never did I shake my head in disapproval at my friends who gave up on breastfeeding, never did I tell them how ridiculous or awful I find it to plan a c-section. And I never volunteer the things I learned about vaccines unless a mother asks.

I do not look at these women & say,
“I find you foolish for choosing ignorance.”

I often don’t even think that, even when I’m being insulted for my parenting choices.
Is it just okay that this is the way things work because I’m the minority population of parent here?

My child “shouldn’t be allowed to play with other children since she’s not vaccinated.”
“How much longer are you going to breastfeed?!?!?!” {I got this starting at 6 months.}
“You realize that you don’t have to be some sort of superhero, right? You don’t have to prove anything. You can get an epidural.”

I’m incredibly grateful that I’m not so easily pushed around. I believe in the choices we’ve made. And I believe in them for a myriad of reasons, the most of which is a worldview based on valuing God & His divine design. I’m thankful that I was given new courage by a group of moms who loved me & supported me, who answered my questions & empathized over facing the same hatred.

I’m also grateful that I still have the opportunity to engage in relationship with some of the women who said some of the most hurtful things to me. Because I hope to see people open their minds, or at least, I hope to show a kindness that was not shown to me.

Semi-off-topic, but all of this reminds me of a scene from Easy Rider,”… don’t ever tell anybody that they’re not free, ’cause then they’re gonna get real busy killin’ and maimin’ to prove to you that they are.” 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Have you had any experiences like this where people have tried to steal your courage?
How did you respond? How did that effect your interactions with people about similar topics in the future?

================================================== You just finished reading Stolen Courage by Lee Anne Make sure to visit Stolen Courage to leave a comment! Thanks for being a part of We Roquemore - We Love Because He First Loved Us

Dream house? Not for me

I do, often, catch myself dreaming about church.
What?!
Now, I will be the first to admit that it is literally an act of God to get me out of bed & into church on many Sunday mornings. So, stick with me.

I find myself dreaming about a church community that I could call home.
A place where I would connect to people, deeply, and all our conversations would ultimately be about how it is that we can best live in the light of His truth, in every aspect of our lives. That His glory would shine through us so that decoration isn’t necessary.
I find myself dreaming about a church community where the sounds of children are not only welcome, but are cherished.
I find myself dreaming of a church that doesn’t shy away from the controversial topics, but leans into a discussion that has the goal of seeking truth together.
I catch myself fantasizing about a community where people believe everything is spiritual.
That God’s design is truly sacred, and valuable.
That His command for us to care for His creation is not empty & void, but full of ways to give us more life.

I dream that this community would be such that people are not made to feel insignificant, but valued. That the number of people in the crowd is of no consequence, but rather, that the connection, the vibrance of the community is what is measured & what is challenged to grow.

I dream that this church would use every resource available to better the precious creation around them. That they would seek out children who have no families, and be part of healing their hearts & redeeming their stories forever. I dream that this church would take hold of the responsibility we have to seek out ways to help, ways to provide, ways to love radically in a way that shocks the culture around us.

I find myself dreaming these dreams and waking, aching for it to be real.

I remember coming back to America from India, from Africa, and having momentary bouts of collapse… Feeling as though my heart had been ripped out of my chest in a way that I never dreamed could feel so real. I remember a conversation, with my then friend, John, who told me that I would & should always ache for home. And that some places will feel more at home than others – when I am most connected to my Creator – but that my home is not this world… that it’s a good sign that I would ache for home.

And, oh, I ache for home.
I ache for these dreams to be real.
I long for these hopes of heaven on earth.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

What do you dream of when you feel the tension & longing for heaven?

================================================== You just finished reading My Dream Home by Lee Anne Make sure to visit My Dream Home to leave a comment! Thanks for being a part of We Roquemore - We Love Because He First Loved Us

It’s that moment where your eyes swell with tears before you can realize what’s happening. Your heart starts pounding and you hold your breath because if you let it rise, it feels as though it’ll flood the room.
{And no one likes a flood, I think.}

I felt the ache every moment for the first few weeks after I got back from Africa. Then, most days.
Eventually, it waned. Occasionally, I’d get a glimpse of the night sky, or I’d hear a story, see a video, or meet a person who just brought me right back to the way my heart was brought to life there.

And then I’d be flooded, filled with ache for there. For the simplicity, for the beauty, for the ache, for the need, for the people.

Eventually, I stopped wanting to feel it. I stopped wanting to watch the videos about orphans in Africa, because I would just want to go there. I would ache for there. Because it’s the most at home I ever felt.

Why? Why must it be this way?
Why can’t I be disgusted with the thought of it, the way most that I know are?
Why does my whole being have to ache like this?

There’s this girl. This 21 year old girl who committed to teach children in Uganda for a year, out of high school. And she stayed. She stayed & she opened her heart & her home. And now, she’s Mama to 14 girls. 14 girls who’d been without anyone. She writes a blog post every once in a while, and I read it, ever since I tearfully discovered her blog a while back. And she’s writing a book. And I saw a promo video for the book, tonight. And all at once, I felt the ache in the most present and real way that I ever have. It’s like that’s home. It’s like part of my being is there, and I can forget, I can go numb, but once I remember that part of me is missing, the pain rushes in.

It’s the oddest thing.
And the most amazing, I think.

I told John recently that it didn’t really matter if we ever went to Africa. That I could be okay, here in America, I think.
Truth, however, is that I hate it here.
I hate all the stuff. And I hate how it sucks me in. How it leeches my essence.
I hate how I become about all the stuff that I hate.

And I think I hoped that with time, the ache to be in Africa {or India, or there} would just fade. I think I hoped that over time, it would go away completely. That maybe it was just me being young & naive. Maybe it was just a desire for a sense of adventure, a desire to travel, or something else. In fact, that’s what people said.

Oh, how that’s not true.
The ache hasn’t lessened. It’s more poignant than ever.

I’m holding tight to what we read tonight:

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

I’m not the first person to long, to ache. I’m not the first, and I won’t be the last. And it won’t always be this way. And maybe, just maybe, this ache, this longing was ignited in me for a purpose – maybe it was brought to life in me with intention.

================================================== You just finished reading Flood Warning by Lee Anne Make sure to visit Flood Warning to leave a comment! Thanks for being a part of We Roquemore - We Love Because He First Loved Us

This story, and the way my heart so deeply connects to it, just makes me raw.
It brings up some of the things I live as though I’ve forgotten.
It reminds me that I’ve been so beautifully rescued & perfectly loved.

It’s my love story.
It’s yours, too.

================================================== You just finished reading Redeeming Love by Lee Anne Make sure to visit Redeeming Love to leave a comment! Thanks for being a part of We Roquemore - We Love Because He First Loved Us

Branding.
Marketing.

I just got off the phone with a disappointed, stressed out, and slightly deflated husband.
He’s on a business trip & yet again is surrounded by coworkers who are trashed.
Peers from his workplace as well as bosses who are pouring vulgarity out of every pore.
Married men speaking of ways they’d like to treat strangers as their wife since she’s absent.
Drunken idiots driving their coworkers because they don’t value their own lives or any one else’s.

Not much can be done if he wants to keep his job and any semblance of a relationship with his co-workers.

But what I know is that the “goal” of this trip is a ‘blitz’ for a new product about to launch.

Obviously I’m not the key demographic for the marketing that this sort of campaign would appeal to anyway, but, seriously…
Who wants to buy a product from a guy who is falling all over himself drunk, speaking examples that not even his own wife can trust him?

My husband works for this company, and that would normally make me want to go out of my way to support it.
Except I now know the kind of behaviour they incentivize.
And I doubt I will ever buy, endorse, or recommend their products.

And of course, a huge chunk of my frustration is due not just to my husband’s company {and their partner company} but also to corporate America as a whole… Corporate America who has created such norms in the workplace. Corporate America who has created a system which says it’s all good because they’re having a good time.

Except I bet it’s not a good time for the waitress who’s being sexually harassed – even if she does go home with a big tip.
I know it’s not a good time for my husband who’s at a required work function & is the default designated driver because every other person is wasted.

I can also imagine that it’s hard to keep your mind & heart focused on your wife {if that’s your goal} when you’re surrounded by people who want to take you to strip clubs.

I think it’s disgraceful.
And I assume it would make it incredibly difficult to maintain a semblance of respect for your authority figures in the workplace when you know they have minimal morals.

It infuriates me.

Also, I’m ready for my husband to come home.

================================================== You just finished reading Product placement. by Lee Anne Make sure to visit Product placement. to leave a comment! Thanks for being a part of We Roquemore - We Love Because He First Loved Us

No, Amelie isn’t afraid of monsters under the bed.
My guess is that if a monster came out from under the bed at this point in her life, she wouldn’t know the difference & she’d just laugh at him & try to suck on his finger.

See, there was this episode of 30 Rock.
{I’ve been watching some of them on Netflix instant which streams through our TV. Though, it is the worst thing to happen to my to-do-list, my stack of books to read, and my overall productivity since, well, anything yet.}
And on this particular episode of 30 Rock, Jack Donaghy is talking about his mentor, Don Geiss. Don Geiss is supposed to have been this business genius {as far as Jack is concerned.}
Jack’s telling this story about Don & his business savvy.

“Don was the one who realized there was a whole segment of consumers not buying light bulbs. The asleep.
That realization led him to develop the nightlight and the marketing campaign aimed at making children afraid of the dark. ”A monster under every bed.”

I’ve come back to this quote over & over & over & over again since I encountered it on 30 Rock.

It is incredible.
I just watched an awesome little short called “The Story of Bottled Water”
{part of a series called “The Story of Stuff”}
where we’re presented with a story of some facts about the way our consumerism is absolutely trashing our planet.
OUR home.

John & I were discussing a blog post by one of our favourite bloggers when I realized that I believe many things, which, if presented with opposite, even true, “facts” I would not change my belief about.

Because somewhere, someone is developing a nightlight and the marketing campaign aimed at making every American afraid of everything that doesn’t make someone else billions of dollars.

================================================== You just finished reading Monsters under the bed. by Lee Anne Make sure to visit Monsters under the bed. to leave a comment! Thanks for being a part of We Roquemore - We Love Because He First Loved Us

Of course, in a way, my job is paying off our debt as well as providing my family with food and shelter. Not much that is more epic or important than fighting/working for freedom and providing for family. The entire movie Braveheart was about just such a topic. Spoiler alert – skip to after the photo if you haven’t seen the film!!!

The film has a very powerful moment when William is about to be killed because of his unwillingness to let Britain and a few powerful men in particular rape his homeland and his children. He looks and sees the reason for his own death – his wife. The reason he would not give up fighting was because his wife was, in the end, worth his own death. We have a Savior who could have had victor in a moment but gave up His own life because we were worth everything He had to give.

William about to take on debt

Although it is not as tangible, debt is an evil master – as evil as a foreign invader. If we need a more substantial direction for finger pointing, then the credit card companies make for an easy target, and rightly so with their debt creation tactics. But to defeat debt like William Wallace we must realize that the problem started with our desire for more. Life lived within limits doesn’t require or create debt but a limitless existence MUST create an imbalance. Debt is the result of wanting beyond what is appropriate. Death must happen for the victory to be won.

Painful journeys into the dark parts of our hearts can open up the hopeful future of living truly free. Freedom that knows limits and boundaries.

Impossible? Yes. But we have a William Wallace who already died to make all things possible.

================================================== You just finished reading William Wallace kills debt by John Make sure to visit William Wallace kills debt to leave a comment! Thanks for being a part of We Roquemore - We Love Because He First Loved Us