Wearing the Trousers

This is 40

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Thu, 01 Jan 2015 03:00:00 +0000

I turned 40 in 2014. Guess what? It wasn't that bad.

I started the year dreading this. How did it even happen? I'm old?! I was anticipating a meltdown or a freakout around my birthday. It never came.

Maybe that's because I spent many days of 2014 slowing myself down. Not because I'm getting old, but because it just... happened. There was lots of snuggling. And I am not a snuggly person, or at least I wasn't. I spent many a Saturday or Sunday curling up on the couch, like in this photo. That's new for me. I'm usually a go-go-go person who is trying to get everything done. I almost feel guilty sitting on my couch and just sitting, not to mention laying down.

When you have a toddler that's learning to toddle, you walk slower. Much slower. When a tiny person is always pointing at things and being amazed, you take a second look. There was lots of gazing out the window; much time sitting in the grass watching the trees swaying in the breeze. Noticing things I had stopped even seeing. And it was nice.

When I turned 30, I had a hard time. Shouldn't I have things figured out by now? Why didn't I have a better job? Why wasn't my band getting to where I wanted it to be? Other 30-somethings seemed to "get it". I didn't. I didn't seem like or feel like an adult. What was wrong with me?

Ten years later I can say that I am much smarter about and kinder to myself. "Being an adult" is a relative statement. There are some things I will never figure out, because they don't mean that much to me and aren't worth my time. I will never have a job title like VP or Director, because I look more for experiences that I want, not a linear career path. The band thing...let's just say I'm done beating myself up about that one and leave it at that.

Things are speeding up again. The toddling of the past year is quickly becoming more like running. But I love what I learned this year about patience and being in the moment. They are lessons I needed and want to keep close, even when the pace picks up. This is how it feels to be 40. And I'm ok with it.

Boston Stronger

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Mon, 21 Apr 2014 14:24:00 +0000

I am not a sports fan by any stretch of the imagination. But I am excited for this year's Boston marathon.

The marathon bombing and subsequent manhunt was about a year ago. I was in a vulnerable place at the time. Four months pregnant, I was just starting to tell family, friends and coworkers. I felt exposed. We had been in cocoon; my husband, a few close friends and I. I had been examined, tested and retested. Everything was fine. We were safe. That and my increasingly rounded belly made it time to go public. It felt good to share the news. But different.
I was at work in South Boston on marathon Monday. It was my first year in a while working that day. Being in Southie put the office enough out of the way that it could be open, unlike many of the businesses downtown. Just before 3pm we suddenly heard sirens. Lots of sirens. And helicopters. Someone said they could see smoke coming from closer in towards the city. All we knew at first was that something had gone very wrong.

There was little work going on after that.

The subway went into lockdown and closed every station around the bomb sites. My only way home was through the city, and the way was blocked. The weight of my situation was hitting me hard. I am pregnant and the world around me is in chaos. I just want to get home. And I can't.

A friend at work drove me home that day. During the manhunt that followed a few days later, I stayed home. I needed to retreat into my cocoon again for a little while.

A year later my daughter is here and Boston is reclaiming its marathon. At the time I worried about bringing a child into a world like this, where innocent people are killed by an act of terrorism miles form where we live. But in that year, I've watched people recover. I've seen the amazing acts of bravery on that day from first responders and and regular people. And I see a city ready to go forward, to support each other more than ever. This is the world I want to show my daughter. This Boston stronger.

Gold Medal Moms

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Thu, 20 Feb 2014 14:30:00 +0000

As a new Mom who has no time to exercise, I was really inspired by a recent story I heard on Mom Olympians. A baby used to mean retirement for female athletes. Now many are coming back from maternity leave and competing at the same level, or even pushing themselves further than they did pre-baby.

I'll be happy when I feel like I'm in decent post-baby shape, which is hard to do during one of the snowiest and coldest Winters in recent memory. I really miss being able to pop the baby in her stroller and take a nice long walk. When I was able to do my pre-baby walking routes while pushing a stroller, I was pretty proud of myself. It's no Olympic medal, but I felt really accomplished.

I have no idea how Olympian Moms do it. Sometimes getting to and from work, eating three semi-healthy meals and getting all of us in bed at a decent time is a challenging enough day for me. But it's nice to know that there are Moms out there striving for Olympic greatness. I'm not quite there yet. Maybe 2016...

Life is What Happens While You're Making Other Plans

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Fri, 03 Jan 2014 13:30:00 +0000

At the end of 2012 I posted saying that the blog would be back in 2013. So what happened?
Well, see the image to the right and you'll get the idea.

At the end of December, in that strange week when we usher out the old year and start looking forward to the next, I found out I was pregnant. I knew that I was feeling exhausted and a bit off. I figured I was coming down with the flu and just took a pregnancy test as a long shot "what if."

I thought part of why I was feeling run down was that I had been thinking a lot about having a baby. It hadn't happened, and I was getting to the point where I wanted to stop worrying about it and focus on other things. My plan was to have that conversation with my husband after the holidays had passed, when we had some quiet days to ourselves before the start of the new year. Instead, we ended up having an entirely different conversation.

I spent most of 2013 pregnant. Our amazing daughter was born the end of August. Since then it's been all about getting as much sleep as possible while learning to function on the precious little I do get. I recently returned to work after a maternity leave that somehow felt very long and yet too short all at the same time. So I'm juggling work and motherhood and trying to figure out where everything fits in. The blog will make a comeback, but it will be a bit more gradual and erratic than what I had envisioned.

I hope everyone had a great 2013. I look forward to sharing 2014 with all of you. Cheers!

Working Women's Best Moments of 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 20:00:00 +0000

This blog will be back in 2013. But since I missed a good chunk of 2012 on here, I wanted to recap the best moments for women at work in the past year.

1. The State of New Hampshire's entire delegation is now made up of women. I hope they are adding more stalls to the women's restrooms in the statehouse, they're going to need it.

2. Marissa Mayer becomes the CEO of Yahoo. And she did it while pregnant. Whether you agree with her decision to take minimal maternity leave or not, this is still a pretty big coup. Especially in the tech industry, where everyone is constantly bemoaning the lack of women in general and female leadership in particular.

3. The founder of Spanx, Sara Blakely, makes the Forbes billionaire list. The undergarment we love to hate (and still secretly love) was something she bootstrapped herself with $5,000. Blakely still owns 100% of the company, which carries zero debt and has expanded it's product line into tights, bras and even something called Spanx for Men.

4. Adele wins 6 Grammys. Yes, 21 was one of my favorite albums of 2011-2012. But I also find Adele to be a much better music industry role model than Lady Gaga or Rhianna, or even that boy crazy Taylor Swift.

5. The women of the US Olympic Team show us how it's done, bringing home 58 total medals. Gymnastics, volleyball, soccer, even boxing and water polo were all sports where the US women took home medals. Being an Olympic athlete may not be a full time job, but seeing beautiful, athletic women out there competing at the top of their game(s) is a lot of fun for the rest of us couch potatoes.

2012 hasn't been my favorite year on record, so I'm looking forward to see what 2013 brings. Happy New Year!

5 Things You Need in Your Desk Right Now

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 18:39:00 +0000

Starting a new job this month means having a fresh start at restocking my must have desk items. I've changed jobs many times, but regardless of where I end up, these items are always along for the ride.

1. Travel toothbrush and toothpaste. I enjoy trying different places near my office to see which one will be my favorite lunch spot. What I learned very quickly was to order everything without onions. Apparently, you can't have a little onion. It's either none, or a crap load. Doesn't anyone else around here have afternoon meetings? Luckily, I always have a travel sized toothbrush and toothpaste in my desk drawer. Just pick them up next time you're at CVS or Target in the travel size section. It will cost you $5, max. Your coworkers will thank you.

2. Charger cable. Got a smart phone, iPod, tablet, or all of the above? How often has one of these konked out on you during the work day? I'm notorious for not charging my phone at night and having it die within an hour of arriving at work. I have not had a phone at my desk in two years, so if anyone outside of work needs to reach me, my personal phone is the only option. And you can't play Angry Birds between tasks on a dead phone. You don't need the wall plug part, just grab the usb to mini usb cable and plug it into your computer to charge just about anything. I also work with mobile devices, so this is handy when I need to do some testing and find that the mobile device du jour has been sitting uncharged in a desk drawer for a few days.

3. Snacks. I was going to say ibuprofen, but what really brings on headaches for me during the day is when I don't eat. Stash something in your desk for those hectic days when you are in meetings that go way past your normal lunch time. I like granola bars or crackers. Something that doesn't spoil easily so you don't have to worry about it, but it's there when you need a little something. Oatmeal packets are also great on mornings when you oversleep and have to run out of the house without any breakfast.

4. Safety pins. You can do wonders with a standard office paperclip. And no, I don't mean this office paperclip. I've pried open locked desk drawers and used them as an emergency zipper pull, among other things. Luckily, most offices are well stocked with these little life savers. But most offices do not have safety pins. Ladies, this is primarily for you. If you've ever felt your bra strap give way in the middle of an 8 hour work day, you'll understand this one. I've fixed bras, shoe straps, purses and a split seam in a pair of pants. Luckily that split seam was on the side, not the back of the pants. But that was a fun day! Many a wardrobe malfunction can be averted with some carefully placed safety pins.

5. Cleaning wipes. Sadly, most offices don't provide these. They should, because your desk is filthy. So is your phone, your keyboard... you get the idea. Don't put them directly on your monitor screen, but use them on everything else. I'm not even talking about germs, just how grimy everything gets. Especially if you eat at your desk frequently. I've yet to work at a place where my desk area stays clean, despite my best efforts. Maybe I'm biased because I used to clean other people's desk for a living, but I hate that thin layer of dust that accumulates on all my stuff.

What am I missing? Do you have your own office must-haves?

Tech Tip: Try Anything Once

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 14:49:00 +0000

A while back, I added a new feature to this blog. I like to write about women in the workplace and their experiences. But I'm also a woman working in technology, which is something I don't mention quite as much. I'm 10 years in at this point, so I'd like to think I have some insights to offer. After a brief hiatus, I'm bringing back my Tech Tips. See the first one here.

I've recently done a bunch of job interviews and I'm happy to report that my new job starts this week. One thing that I was consistently asked about is how I went from studying music and english in college to working with software and web applications. It's not an obvious career path. In explaining it over and over, I've had to actually rethink, “how did I get here?” Queue that Talking Heads song. The answer is that I tried pretty much anything, and eventually found something that stuck.

One of the good thing about start ups is that they are usually super ambitious but lack resources to get everything done. When I started really trying to earn a living, it was right before the burst of the internet bubble. I worked at a series of start ups with interesting ideas (and no strategy on how to make any money, but that could fill a whole blog post). They were fun, crazy places to work. Cappucino machine? Check. Conference room converted to a nap room for programmers who worked 24/7? Check. Coworkers in combat boots? (Hey, it was the late 90s, and I was that coworker.) Check. I was usually the assistant, for the office in general or for a specific department, like Editorial. So I pitched in and did whatever needed doing on a given day.

Sometimes it was stuff that made me wonder why the job required a college degree, like mailing out packages or laying out an extravagantly catered lunch for the company VIPs. But just as frequently, it was an opportunity to do something more challenging, like transcribing interviews (huh?) or adding html formatting to articles (what?). I got crash courses in video editing, basic HTML, Photoshop, CMS template building, and more. Most departments were understaffed and ridiculously busy. So any time I was able, I answered the call for help when it went out like a bat signal across our open concept office. Yes, they were always open concept offices. I never worked in a cubicle until I took a corporate job a few years later.

The great thing about all the craziness was that I never knew what I would be doing when I showed up for work in the morning. When you are just starting out and have no special skills, that is a huge opportunity. I started to figure out which things interested me and which I would run screaming from next time they came up. Catering duty? Sorry, I suddenly seem to be very busy. Photoshop and HTML? Yes, tell me more.

I gradually figured out what things I wanted to learn more about and tried to spend more time on those types of projects. It still took time for me to figure out an actual career path. But in the mean time, I was learning skills that I could transfer from job to short lived job.

Now I have definite specialties, but I still try to take opportunities to work on things outside my comfort zone when I can (I'm looking at you, Facebook for developers). I don't always enjoy it or find that I'm good at it (still looking at you, Facebook). But it makes me think and forces me to keep my skills current, which is key if I want to keep working in tech. I may have traded my dyed hair and combat boots for my natural color and a pair of mary janes, but I don't ever want to stop learning.

5 Unemployment Tips

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 15:57:00 +0000

I'm writing this post in the middle of the afternoon, from the couch, while watching Downton Abbey on Netflix. That's because I'm currently unemployed. This is the fourth layoff of my career, but I'm lucky to be able to say it's been 7 years since I've been on the dole. Since I have the time, I figured I'd share some tips for dealing with unemployment.

1. File for unemployment immediately. There isn't much about this process that's changed in the time that I've been away from it. I was told it would take 3-4 weeks to start receiving payments, which is the same as it was 7 years ago. I once filed for unemployment by phone from a hotel room while on vacation just to get the process started. In Massachusetts, you have to open a claim either in person or on the phone. The one thing I did notice is that it's harder to get the process started this time around, probably because of the higher unemployment rate (which is getting lower, thankfully). I had to call several days in a row before I got an actual person who could open my claim. However, there have been a few welcome upgrades to the department of unemployment. After your claim is opened, you can file for your weekly benefits, sign up for direct deposit and keep your log of employment activities online. Hooray for progress!

2. References, Recommendations, Resumes. Did you know that the more recommendations you have on your LinkedIn profile, the higher you appear in search results when employers search for people with your skills? I had no idea until a friend told me. So I quickly reached out to former coworkers and bosses to beef up my profile. LinkedIn even makes it easy by giving you a form letter to send the request. I also uploaded my resume and made it public on Monster.com, Dice.com and Indeed.com. So while I'm searching around for jobs, hopefully people are also searching for me. I got some annoying and irrelevant phone calls about jobs, but for the most part, I received emails. Create a folder in your inbox and the influx of emails is totally manageable.

3. Don't get too much off schedule. I'm not a morning person, so I'm really tempted to use this time to sleep late and be more of a night owl. But since most job interviews are going to take place during business hours, I need to be awake and available. I'm not hauling myself out of bed at 6am, but I am making sure that I'm alert and up by 9am every day. I do get to sleep in a little. And I am still in my pajamas today. But I also have a pen, notebook and fully charged cell phone within reach for when opportunities come my way. My resume is also sitting open on my laptop in case I need to refer to it.

4. Don't spend all day job hunting. Give yourself a time limit each day for trolling job boards and crafting cover letters. Don't spend every day all day on this stuff, or you will go nuts. Trust me on this one. I'm flexible when setting up times for in person or phone interviews. But for applications and searching the internet, I give myself until noon or 1pm each day, and then that's it. I make sure I give myself time to do other things with my day, like yoga or taking a walk. There are only so many jobs out there at any given time; spending more or less of your day looking for them is not going to change that. Once you apply for a job, there's nothing you can do but wait to hear back. So try to cut yourself some slack. And that brings me to the last tip:

5. Get out of the damn house. Staying in the house 24/7 eventually gets on the nerves of pretty much everybody. And hey, when you go to the supermarket at 11am on a Tuesday, you can have almost the whole place to yourself. If you have no job you're definitely shopping on a budget. I'm a throw-it-in-the-carriage-and-get-the-hell-out kind of shopper, but I'm usually in the store after work when I'm starving or on the weekends when I'd rather be doing something else. If you go when the store is empty, you might actually take the time to compare prices on items and save yourself a few cents here and there. Every bit counts, right? I also like to go meet friends I don't get to see often and grab a quick lunch near their office. It doesn't have to be pricey, you can eat an appetizer and order a glass of water. Maybe your employed friend will even treat. Meet a stay at home friend at a park for a brown bag lunch. Or head to the library, grab something to read and sit outside for a bit.

Being unemployed is not a vacation. I don't think of it as "me" time or an opportunity to relax. Anybody who sees it that way has never been unexpectedly laid off with their mortgage and car payment looming. I just try to make the best of it and focus on finding my next job. What are your strategies for coping with unemployment? I'm all ears.

Geek in Heels: It's the Economy, Ladies

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 17:02:00 +0000

I'm featured again today on the Geek in Heels blog. Please stop by and check out my post, It's the Economy, Ladies.

Get Back to Work

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 13:30:00 +0000

There have been two great articles this month that say the same thing and after reading them I realized I couldn't agree more. There is a way to end persistent unemployment right now but corporate America needs to step up and get on it.

This excellent Wall Street Journal article even comes with handy info graphics, but the Fast Company one is worth reading as well. Here's the situation. Many employers have specialized jobs they can't fill. Many people are out of work because the industries that employed them are fading away. It seems obvious, doesn't it? Train unemployed people to do some of these jobs. Or train up existing employees for the specialized jobs and give the lower level job that person leaves behind to someone that needs it. Simple, right?

The problem is that too many employers have narrow focus. As the WSJ article states, to get a job, most companies make it a requirement that you have already done that job. Honestly, what is the point? I really am not motivated to leave one job and go to the exact same job somewhere else. There's no career growth that way, and it's not very motivating to think that you won't get a chance to learn anything new when changing jobs.

Many companies are also using their current employees to cover way too much work load. Now that it's been almost a year since I left my last job, I can say that one of my reasons was being burned out. I was trying to do a job that should have been split up between at least two people. When it became clear there was no intention of easing my workload, the only thing I could do was quit.

I understand that in a crappy economy, companies have to be really careful about bringing in the right people. I can't think of a better, happier employee than one who badly needs a job and receives training so they can perform that job. I've been unemployed. If someone made me that offer in return for signing a year contract or something similar, I would have done it in heartbeat. The program at Chrysler that starts union works at lower wages but promises a chance to learn on the job and advance has produced loyal, hard working employees. What more can a company ask for?

It's clear major changes are needed to get this country back on track. One of those things should be better job training programs in high schools, colleges, vocational schools and federal programs. That's going to take time. American companies are in the best position to get training programs in place and put people back to work right now. Corporate big wigs probably don't read this blog. But they should be reading the Wall Street Journal. It's about time everyone starts getting back to work.

Geek in Heels: Rise of the Geek Girl

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 16:30:00 +0000

I'm really excited to have been asked back as a guest blogger at Geek in Heels, one of my favorite blogs. Please check out my post over there: Rise of the Geek Girl. Thanks!

What's So Funny Bout Peace, Love and Work-Life Balance?

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 12:12:00 +0000

I see many articles about women's search for the ever elusive work-life balance. So this take, Are Men Expected to Have Work-Life Balance?, written by a guy, is pretty refreshing. The prevailing sentiment is that women desperately seek it, but men are just meh about it. They don't need to worry about it, because their wives are busy doing it for them. What I wonder is, why don't more men think about it? This article indicates that maybe they do.

Now that both women and men continue to work outside the home after they have kids, I'm surprised this hasn't come up more often. Women are no longer expected to marry and then stay home to keep the house, or work until they have kids and then stay home. So there is definitely a lot of logistics that need to be figured out in a household with two working parents. Men are no longer expected to contribute only by working to support their family. There's so much involved in parenting these days. It seems to me that all parents should be thinking about how to have work-life balance.

Don't Dad's want to occasionally chaperone field trips (ok, no one really likes that) and go to baseball and ballet practices? Men are more involved than those Dads of old who expected to be met at the door with their pipe and slippers and not to be bothered by any kids until they've had time to relax. So why are women the only ones worried about whether their career really allows them to spend enough time with the kids? Moms are still seen as the primary parent, even if they work. We're starting to see a big shift in that, so it seems only right that a Dad who mulls over being a stay at home parent for financial or other reasons would have the same concerns about work vs. home life.

Guys, we want to know that you care about this stuff too. If you are taking on more of the household chores, why not strive for that work-life balance while you're at it? Most of the guys I know say they don't want to be the same kind of distant Dad their fathers and grandfathers were. I think each generation of Moms are try to redefine what "having it all" means. It's about time that men start doing it too.

Pass Me a Bottle, Mrs. Jones

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 20:30:00 +0000

Celebrating our summer vacation in CA

Since there's been a lot of talk about women (or lack thereof) in the tech industry here and elsewhere lately, I was happy to see an article about women in another industry entirely - beer making.

Double X recently featured this great piece on female brewmasters. Long the domain of Paul Bunyan-esque manly men (at least in more recent times) women are stepping into the brewery. It makes sense to me that this is happening at a time when it seems more women are into beer in general.

I never liked beer. My Dad is a Bud and Coors Light guy. My first beer experience was taking a sip here and there when I would fetch him cold ones from the fridge. I was not impressed. So I assumed I didn't liked beer. What I found out much later is that I didn't like that type of beer. Once I had sampled some other options like Sam Adams and Guinness, I began to see that not all beer tasted the same. There was such a thing as good beer after all. Imagine that.

When I was a kid I only ever saw one woman drink a beer. My Grandma was a good old fashioned teetotaler (which she pronounced tea-toe-tailor). All the other women in my family were drinking wine or nothing at all. At a family cookout, my aunt walked past them all to the cooler where the guys were clustered and cracked open a beer. Everyone except my uncle seemed a little surprised that she even wanted one. It just wasn't something we saw very often.

I think many women used to think the same way, that beer was a guys drink. Women seemed to prefer mixed drinks or wine. You were more likely to see a woman on a beer label than a woman with a beer in her hand. And while brands like Budweiser still use bikini models to cater to men, I've noticed that the beers I tend to drink have marketing (and labels) that are much more gender neutral. Coincidence?

Women have already infiltrated a lot of other traditionally male spaces. Now after a long day of doing all that hard work, we're coming for the beer.

Is There Such a Thing as the Wrong Kind of Startup?

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 12:45:00 +0000

This Forbes article from last month ponders if women are starting the wrong kind of startups. It all started with a tweet from tech journalist Jolie O'Dell which was much discussed by both men and women in tech. In her 140 characters O'Dell said she's embarrassed that women only seem to create startups about babies, fashion and shopping. I'm paraphrasing, but I think I said it a bit nicer than she did.

Is this just another example of that thing women do where we get bitchy and tear each other down? If there's a dearth of women founding tech companies, why complain about the type of companies they decided to start? It's also worth noting that there are successful companies run by men in these same spaces, Etsy and Zappos being two of the biggest.

I have to wonder if it's more of a perception problem. If there were a shopping equivalent of Facebook founded by women, would it be taken as seriously as, well, Facebook? No one doubts the influence of amazon.com. They started as a shopping site and have expanded into much more. If the site was just based in fashion instead of a wide array of items, maybe it wouldn't be as revered as it is. It's worth considering that there is a bit of a prejudice against endeavors that aren't serious enough or "techie" enough. I feel the same way about blogger vs. mommy blogger (which seems to always be said with disdain). But that's a whole different post.

If I was going to start my own company, I would focus on something I know. Take a look at all the fashion blogs, TV shows and magazines out in the world. Who is reading/watching all those? Mostly women. So it's not a surprise that many women would choose something like fashion to get their feet wet in the tech startup world. There's nothing saying they can't go on to found the next Google after they get their silly little mommy venture off the ground and sell it for a million dollars. I hope they are laughing all the way to the bank.

52 Flavors and Then Some

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 12:30:00 +0000

I love the humility of this article, My 52 Biggest Mistakes. Really, 52? Yikes. Ok, the article focuses on three specific ones which are career and life related.

I have to say the second one about trusting yourself is a big one for me. I went through a period of time when I only spent a year or less at each company I worked at. Doesn't it to take about 3 months to feel settled in a new job? During those times I just tried to absorb as much as possible. Unless I was specifically asked for my opinion, I didn't give it. You can't really take a definite position on anything when you are still trying to get the lay of land.

It's also easy to start second guessing yourself when no one else agrees with you. Not a fun situation but I think we've all been there. The worst thing is when you're proven right after the fact. Remember Peter Schiff? When this starts happening more often than not, it's probably time to start looking for a new job. Either you are too smart for that job, or that company is too stupid to stay in business for the long haul. Not a good fit any way you you look at it.

I feel like I'm finally at the point where I can stand my ground when I need to, but not take it personally when things go a different way. I know I used to assume that meant I was wrong. There are many factors that go into business decisions, and sometimes your opinion just doesn't factor into the big picture. It doesn't mean it's not valid or useful. If anything, putting it out there might help you more than it helps your company. There's nothing wrong with that.

You Make Me Feel Like a Digital Woman

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 12:30:00 +0000

This weekend was the She's Connected conference, celebrating "digital women in social media". I learned about this too late to attend and I have to confess, my husband is the one who actually found out about it. Events like this and the annual BlogHer conference intrigue me. Would I fit there, with my little old blog? I'm not sure. And what exactly is a digital woman?

What appeals to me is that it takes something solitary like blogging and gives it a more social component. Women have always been social. But now instead of gathering around the PTA or the shopping mall, we can gather around our shared technology. Amid all that socializing, there may even be an opportunity to learn something. That certainly appeals to my nerdy side.

Ladies, are we in fact getting more ~~nerdy~~ tech savvy? Mommy Bloggers, Twitter celebrities, iPhone junkies, reading books on your Kindle. Maybe this what the whole digital woman things is all about. Gadgets and gizmos are everywhere, so you might as well get on board. When women embrace this stuff instead of ignoring it, we get cool things like TaskRabbit and the Personal Robots Lab at MIT.

But it doesn't have to be all about work. I'm a big fan of combining your passions with technology. A great example is Nataly Dawn of Pomplamoose. Her band gained fame by making quirky videos of cover songs on YouTube. When she wanted to make a more serious solo album, she funded it by running a Kickstarter campaign, where she exceeded her goal in only 3 days. Are you more of a fashionista in your free time? This New York Times article features fashion bloggers who have turned a hobby into all kids of opportunities. Pretty cool.

If this is the world of the digital woman, I'm all for it.

Tech Tip: Ask Lots of Questions

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 12:30:00 +0000

Photo by Helga Weber

I decided to add a new item to this blog. I like to write about women in the workplace and their experiences. But I'm also a woman working in technology, which is something I don't mention quite as much. I'm 10 years in at this point, so I'd like to think I have some insights to offer. So, here's my first Tech Tip.

Always ask questions. That's a given for job interviews, but I find it useful for everyday as well. You don't learn anything if you don't ask about it, or at least I don't. I started out at software and dot com companies as an assistant in various departments. Almost every skill I use to do my current job is something I learned at another job along the way.

One of my first jobs after college was a 2 day a week job share as the receptionist at a music software company. I sorted and distributed mail and packages and answered the phones. Occasionally, I typed a memo for one of the managers. The most technical part of that job was using Microsoft Word.

The only time I had ever been in a business office was as a cleaning person (that experience deserves its' own post). Coming out of college with a music degree, I was excited to have landed something that was sort of relevant to my major. But cleaning offices doesn't help you figure out what goes on in one. Even after I got the hang of my own job, I had no idea what anyone else was doing, or why.

I figured out the tech support team had the best insight into the software product itself, so I asked them to show me how it worked. I think everyone was surprised that the part time receptionist wanted a product demo. You don't need to know what the product does to answer the phones. I mentioned that I had been a music student and was told they could probably find me a promo copy to use at home. I decided not to mention that I didn't even own a computer. The real reason I wanted that demo was to help me understand what we were all doing there every day.

Eventually I got that software demo. I felt better doing my daily tasks when I had some insight into the product the company was selling. Interestingly enough, it also helped me do my job. Answering the phones meant I had to send calls to customer service or to tech support. There were less tech support staff, and they always seemed to spend a longer time on the phone with each person than the customer service staff. After seeing the product, even though I didn't understand all of it, I was usually able to figure out who really needed to spend time with tech support and who could be straightened out by a quick chat with customer service. Once I got the hang of it, I knew I was doing more than just pushing buttons when I transferred calls. I didn't last long at that job; the other receptionist came back to work full time after a few months. But it was a great first job.

A few jobs later, I was at a dot com company where our success hinged on keeping our ever changing website up and running. I was an editorial assistant responsible for preparing content, coddling the writers and attempting to keep everyone on a publishing schedule. I didn't spend much time on the actual website, but I had a knack for finding parts of it that were broken when I did. I was always sending one of the engineers, a friend of a friend, screenshots of problems I was finding during the day. We were always trying new designs and adding new features. Things were changing so fast that no one was keeping track of it all. The editorial team was constantly frustrated that online tools they used were breaking. During one of our meetings, I asked my boss who was responsible for reviewing the new page templates and features before they went live on the website, more out of frustration than for any other reason. Other than the engineers, who had their hands full, it turned out no one was. Not too long after that, I found myself part of new team that made sure everything was reviewed before it was put out there for the world to see. Little did I know that was called Quality Assurance, and working on that team was actually the start of the career path I'm still on now.

It makes no difference how long I've been at a job or what my responsibilities are. I still rarely get through a day without asking a few questions about what I'm working on. I always learn something from those conversations, even if I don't use it right away. I think of it as creating a little encyclopedia of knowledge in my brain that I can refine over time. It started out of necessity, but I can say with confidence that 10 years into my career, asking questions is a valuable skill that you should never put aside no matter how high up the ladder you get. Because you can always learn something new, even when you think you're just there to answer the phones.

Workplace as Crisis Center: 9/11/01

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 04:08:00 +0000

I read a lot of great September 11th blog posts. It made me want to write my own. But it took me a long time. I was surprised that after all this time, I was still pretty emotional about it.

I remember it was a beautiful Fall day and there were no clouds in the sky. As I drove to work, news started to break that there had been an explosion at the World Trade Center in New York. Initial reports suggested it might have been caused by a small plane crash.

The office of the software company I worked at had a kitchen area where 2 TVs had just been installed. Everyone in the office was standing in that kitchen area, silently staring at the TVs. Just after I walked in, we watched the live feed of the second plane hitting the towers. People started crying. I decided at some point to go to my desk. The office was full of people, but eerily quiet.

I don't remember how long it was before the information came out that the planes used in the attacks flew out of Boston. I know I was back in the kitchen and saw it scroll by on the ticker that was running underneath the footage of the towers in flames. I think it was after I had seen the South tower collapse. I ran back to my desk in a panic. I went online looking for more information, any information about the flights. A few minutes later my boyfriend called to see if I had heard about the planes that crashed into the Trade Center. We both went quiet, neither one of us wanting to say what were both thinking. Finally he said, "Your Dad." All I could say was, "I know."

We had been to see my parents that Sunday. My Dad was going on about how he had to go out to his company's headquarters in California on Tuesday, and was flying out of Boston's Logan airport for the first time in over a year. He talked about how the company had been flying him out of Manchester, NH to save money, and that he had come to prefer using the smaller airport. He was not looking forward to driving in early morning traffic for his 8am flight.

Phone lines were jammed. Transmission to all mobile phones was cut. So many people in my office were trying to get online to various news sites that we crashed our network. It was like being on a remote island and trying to keep up with the rest of the world a thousand miles away. I had a small radio on my desk, which I tuned to an all news station. Soon I had it cranked as loud as it would go so everyone nearby could hear. A woman I didn't know came by and asked if she could sit in my cubicle and listen. She said her brother worked at the Pentagon. I told her I thought my Dad was on one of the planes that hit the Trade Center. We hugged.

My boss told me to go home and be with my family. But this was before everyone had cell phones. I knew if anyone was trying to reach me, they would call work, expecting me to be there. I didn't dare leave my desk.

It was late afternoon when I found out that my Dad had been on a plane that was forced to land somewhere in rural Pennsylvania. I still stayed at work until 5pm, even though I didn't accomplish anything. No one did. I simply didn't know where else to go. The woman whose brother worked at the Pentagon stopped by on her way out to say that she knew he was ok. We hugged again.

I've lost contact with the people I worked with then. The after effects of that day torpedoed the company's software product and a year later, most of us had been laid off. Even though I will probably never talk to them again, I am grateful for every person who was with me that day. I was scared, but I wasn't alone.

How Well Does Your Wardrobe Hold Up?

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 02:01:00 +0000

Didn't I just write about the minefield that is the office summer dress code? Well, case in point, poor Kate Middleton had a near wardrobe malfunction on her North American tour the other day. I hate to say it, but this is why I usually wear pants, Kate.

By Chris Jackson, Getty Images

If you've seen any other pictures of the royal couple in their travels lately, you can see how well put together they look. Who gets off a plane looking that polished? It's actually really nice to see women like Kate and Michelle Obama looking beautiful and stylish doing everyday things. They both make a habit of wearing the kind of clothes that most women can actually pull off. In some cases, even the clothes themselves are actually affordable. I'm sure they each have their own hairdressers and makeup people at the ready, but we don't have to think about that part.

It happened to be a windy day when she got off that plane. There's no way she could have known that her skirt was going to blow up like that. Now that I no longer travel to work everyday in the safe cocoon of my car, I can relate. For example, did you know it's a tough climbing on and off the bus in a pencil skirt? And you can forget running for a bus or train in heels like Kate is wearing here. Today I got stuck running through an unexpected downpour in a dress and sandals. It was not fun.

So, I'm not going to say anything mean. I get it. Looking good can be hard work sometimes.

What Not to Wear to Work

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 02:30:00 +0000

Does your office have a summer dress code? I got an email in January saying that I was free to wear shorts, so it's not something I need to worry about. Yes, even I can be persuaded to trade in my beloved trousers this time of year. Still, hot weather can bring up what I will nicely call unique challenges. I wouldn't want to be an HR rep right now.

It's not just HR people who worry about it; even Martha Stewart sent out a summer dress code email a few years back. But in the absence of an actual spelled out policy, it's up to you to figure out what is and is not ok to wear to the office when the mercury is climbing outside. And some people are not very good at that.

My favorite example is a person who came in to interview for a temp position. She was wearing flip flops and you could clearly see her bathing suit straps peeking out from under her t-shirt. She didn't even bother to take the sunglasses off the top of her head. Ok, it was summer time, and only a temp job. But you can probably guess that she didn't get it. Here's a little something about dos and don'ts of summer office attire for you, sweetie. Maybe you can take it to the beach, which is probably where you will be spending your entire summer unless you actually read it. And guys, I found just as many articles on what is office appropriate for you during the summer as I did for the ladies, so you are not exempt either.

That being said, I do think summer dress codes should be more relaxed. While I understand the no sandals policy created by a boss with an aversion to seeing other people's feet, I don't entirely agree with it. It's going to be 90s degrees out! Sure, the office has air conditioning, but I have to get there first. Do you want me to show up all sweaty and disheveled or can I actually bare my arms? The AC is usually blasting so cold that I end up putting on a sweater immediately anyway.

Happy first day of summer. Dress responsibly, but also make sure to spend plenty of time outside the office.

You Go (to Work) Girl!

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Sat, 14 May 2011 17:16:00 +0000

I wrote this post last month and apparently never actually clicked that pesky little Publish button. Fabulous! While I brush up on modern technology, please enjoy!

I love this Newsweek article from last month about the lengths companies are going through to keep smart, qualified women in India from quitting their jobs when they start families. And maybe I'm a bit jealous. I think it could start quite a revolution there. Women in India are the hub of the family and expected to be the caretakers for both children and their parents (their own and sometimes their husband's as well). Sound familiar?

This just proves that most other countries get it. The exception still being here in the US, of course. In fact, it's mostly foreign-based companies with offices in India that are working so hard to keep their female employees. On the one hand, it's practical. If you have invested in training the employees, as many of these companies that set up shop in India do, you want to make the most of that investment and keep them working for you as long as possible. But it seems there's more to it than that. I think companies are finally starting to understand the value of their employees again. If flex time and a convenient day care center can keep great employees from flying the coop, it's worth it. Happy employees are more productive, after all.

The days of spending your entire career at the same company and retiring with a gold watch and pension are long gone. A good employee during that time could expect to rise through the ranks of the company and do pretty well for themselves. It's a win for the company and the employee. Once that stopped being the norm, companies started to look at employees as more disposable and even interchangeable. Why bother rewarding them when you know they aren't in it for the long haul? The choice to stay at company or not is now up to the employee, not the employer. The question employers should ask is; How can we set ourselves apart so that the best people want to work here?

I'll never forget the way the manager treated us when I was a supermarket cashier (yep, this job was worth it just for the stories I ended up getting out of it). If he asked one of us to do something we obviously weren't too keen on, like skipping our legally mandated breaks because the store was busy, he would point his finger right in your face and yell "You are replaceable! Don't you forget it!" and storm off. Sure, it was my after school job, and I was most definitely replaceable, especially since I sucked at counting back change. But that's not the point. No one wants to feel replaceable. Sure, I love singing along to "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce, because it feels empowering, but I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of it.

My S word

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 01:00:00 +0000

My last post mentioned that I was treated at Children's Hospital in Boston as a child. This is the second time I've brought that up here in the blogosphere. Both times, people have messaged me privately to ask if I am ok now, or what happened to me. I realized that being mysterious is not helping anyone, least of all me. So, meet my own personal S-word, the thing I dare not speak of: Scoliosis.

Did you ever have that test as a kid where you bend down and touch your toes while wearing a bathing suit or open hospital gown? That's a scoliosis check. By the time they started doing them in my elementary school, I already had it. Scoliosis can appear out of nowhere or it can be genetic, which it is in my case. It happens more frequently in girls than boys. It is rarely life-threatening, but can be disfiguring. Remember Quasimodo in The Hunchback of Notre-Dame? Ok, not quite as bad as that, he had a whole other thing going on there as well, but you get the idea of a very extreme example.

BOSTON SCOLIOSIS BRACE

My treatment started when I was 8, which I have learned since is pretty young, but I was already showing a pretty significant curvature in 2 places in my spine (called an S curve, as opposed to the more standard C curve). I wore a back brace very similar to the one shown here for 8 years, 23 hours a day. I had one hour off for physical therapy (45 minutes a day) and taking a shower. I managed to find a way to get all my physical therapy crammed into 30 minutes and then started taking really, really long showers, which is something I still love doing. It feels like the ultimate freedom and indulgence.

My treatment was extremely aggressive, so it was both physically and mentally grueling. In the long run, it saved me from the only other option available at the time; having a very invasive surgery. I understood why I had to do it, but that didn't make it any easier. It certainly didn't make me a better patient. I threw my fair share of temper tantrums. I even tossed said back brace down a flight of stairs thinking that would be the end of it, but that thing was indestructible. And that summer my best friend moved into a house with an above ground pool and I couldn't go swimming? Excruciating.

I guess I've been reluctant to talk about it because if you look at me now, you would never know any of that stuff ever happened. Well, I have been told I have unusually good posture, which I'm sure is a byproduct of spending my formative years encased in fiberglass, but other than that. And it's taken me a long time to admit how hard it really was, and accept that it's ok to say that. Even as a kid, I tried to keep it a secret that I was wearing this thing under my clothes all the time. I just wanted to be normal. Still, there's nothing normal about having to sit out 8 years of gym class (even though that was the one awesome part) or needing to be rescued when someone who doesn't know your little secret thinks it's hilarious to toss you into a swimming pool and you sink to the bottom.

I will always have scoliosis, even though it is moderate now and only an x-ray or an observant doctor would give me away. Or one of those old school scoliosis tests, I suppose. I am thankful for that. It is part of who I am and has shaped some of my experiences, but it doesn't define me. If you have your own personal S-word, I hope you are able to conquer it. I feel like I am on my way.

It Doesn't Pay (as Much) to be Doctor

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 14:00:00 +0000

(Illustration: Jared Rodriguez / t r u t h o u t

I live in an area of the country where I have access to some of the best medical care in the world. It's one of the things that makes me grateful to live here, despite how much I've complained about our terrible winter this year. I spent a lot time at Children's Hospital here in Boston, as did my sister, to the point that my parents considered relocating us even closer to the city, though we were only about an hour away. I received innovative medical treatment that was far less invasive that the standard options that were available at that time. I didn't really appreciate it then, but I certainly do now.

It could be that my early experiences have turned me into a bit of a medical snob; I am really picky about who gets to see me in a hospital johnny on a yearly basis. But having access to top notch medical care hasn't stopped me from noticing that it's really hard to find a female doctor, even around here. When I'm not being limited to certain doctors because of whatever health insurance I have, the doctors who are available to me frequently aren't taking new patients. This interesting article in the Wall Street Journal sheds some light on why.

The good news? Women make up almost half the number of current medical students here in the US. Women physicians also tend to choose practices such as internal medicine or pediatrics rather than more specialized fields. So in about 10 years, maybe I won't have such a hard time finding a female PCP. The bad news? Even when accounting for the fact that general practice pays less than specialties, women are looking at a an average $17,000 less per year than male physicians. Even women in specialty fields had lower starting salaries than men. What the hell?

I've seen a few theories about this. One is that old adage that women suck at negotiating, so even in the medical field, they are not getting the same salaries as men. Another more interesting take is that women doctors emphasize patient care over herding as many people as possible through their offices each day, despite the fact that insurance companies recommend that approach. Seeing less patients means less money. A third is that women who have or are planning to have children are more concerned with the hours they do and don't work than what their salary will be, so they trade flexibility for a lower salary. It's probably some combination of all 3. I hope that having more women in the field will start causing this to even out. Imagine if women start turning away from the field due to these salary disparities? I know it wouldn't really happen, but it shouldn't even be an issue.

New Year, New Job

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 01:28:00 +0000

The end of last year and beginning of this year has been full of changes for me, mostly due to my changing jobs. I do not take to change easily. I am also not that familiar with leaving a (professional) job of my own free will; this is only the second time I've actually done it. I do not enjoy having to negotiate things like salaries and benefits. See what I mean about not loving the whole change thing?

Image by Pinti 1

If that wasn't enough to keep me planted in my desk chair for another 5 years, there was also my feeling of guilt at getting into the job hunting game. The national unemployment rate was 9.4% last month. That was the lowest percentage of unemployment for the whole of 2010, but it's still not that great. Should I be applying for new job openings when I didn't necessarily have to? I was not being forced to leave my job. I liked my coworkers. It was not a dire situation in any way. Still, I had something gnawing at me. It took me some time to realize that thing was my need to spend my days doing something else. It was a hard decision to make. And the change that I made was a big one.

I've gone from medium-large to small company size, well-established to start-up, country to city. I now take public transportation instead of driving every day. After 5 years in the same place, I was in a rut. It was fairly comfortable, but a rut nonetheless. I didn't really set out to make such a drastic change, but my excitement at the opportunity to do so told me I needed to go with it. So, I am adjusting to my new.... everything.

I will take a deep breath and just say it - change is good. I can't help but look back at some of the job changes I had to make that were not by choice, where I was just the unfortunate casualty of company lay offs or bankruptcy. Whether I saw it coming or not, there was always a sense of panic about what I was going to do next. But in almost every case, I ended up moving on to something that was somehow better than what I had left behind.

With the start of a new year, most people have vowed to make some kind of change. I hope you embrace it, even when it is not easy or obvious. I will!

Need a Job? Get Ugly!

noreply@blogger.com (Susan) — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 14:00:00 +0000

Miss USA 2009, Kristen Dalton.

The national unemployment rate is still hovering around 9 percent as of November. Women are faring better during this economic downturn than men, with an unemployment rate which is almost 2 percent less than what men are experiencing. We already know that more women have been earning college degrees than men, so that seems to be paying off. Fields like health care, which tend to be dominated by women, are recovering faster than other sectors of the economy like construction. It all makes sense so far. Until this article, about how you won't get hired if you're pretty. That's only for the ladies though. For guys, being pretty works to your advantage. Ugh!

I don't like this one bit. I've always struggled with the pretty vs. smart thing. I grew up thinking you couldn't be both; being a late bloomer, I chose smart. And I stuck with it through braces and bad haircuts, finding solace in books and choir practice. I held out hope for the time when, as my Mom said, I would "fill out" and maybe not be taller than all the boys in my class. Only as an adult did I realize that pretty and smart aren't mutually exclusive (thank you, Dana Scully). And it was only recently that I became ok with being both. Well, that's not entirely true. I did start wearing more makeup to work. I also wear skirts and dresses at the office without feeling like I'm pretending to be something I'm not. I no longer expect people will yell "chicken legs" when I wear anything other than pants. But to be honest, I don't completely own it yet.

I suppose I could find solace in the fact that I'm more employable than a beauty queen. But being perceived as more qualified because I'm plain-looking when compared to someone else is a hollow victory. Perhaps when I "fill out," I can learn to appreciate it, but I doubt it.