Web Archaelogist

Those Redheaded Sluts

noreply@blogger.com (Web Archaelogist) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:23:00 +0000

A new study shows that redheads have more sex. And if a woman changes her hair colour to red it is a signal to her partner that she wants more.

Revenge

noreply@blogger.com (Web Archaelogist) — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 14:33:00 +0000

My friend Ali is seeking revenge for her boyfriend's latest video blog (which he claims is revenge for this post from Ali). It is not to me to judge, only to suggest ways that repayment can be exacted. And oh, the web is rife with ideas for reprisals, retribution and getting even.

Let's start with the Revenge Lady. Drop her a line and she'll help you with your plight. Perhaps she's related to the Revenge Guy who offers these helpful tips:

Remember:
{} You can never take back revenge. Revenge is the final resting place for any interaction you may ever have with the person you have as your target. There is no going back.
{} When setting up revenge protect yourself first. Always, ALWAYS write down the events that happen to you that may require later revenge. Dates, times, people's names. You may need them for one thing or another.
{} Revenge is revenge. Revenge requires anonymity. If you're going to say "Ha ha, in your face!" or "I got you good!" you don't want revenge, go look to prank the person instead at some other website.
{} Revenge takes time. Revenge is best served cold. Revenge is a tough meat that needs to stew for a very long time before being it is ready to be served effectively. Of course, you could just 'MySpace' your husband's stalker.
{} Revenge knows their name. Got a bad neighbor? Want to share your story or their info with the world? Here is where you contribute. Post the info on this interactive map.

I do love the idea of posting bad neighbours on map. But this is not quite the blow I think Ali needs to strike.

George Hayduke offers Eleven Commandments of Revenge, among them bide your time, don't use your own phone and don't make threats (oops, too late for Ali). The commandments come via the Avenger who has some detailed plans for all kinds of plots, pranks and mayhem. Don't cross that guy. Nice Mr. Avenger, thank you for the ideas. Web Arc loves you and your friend RedBoxChiliPepper too.

Here are some of their ideas for revenge, cancel his credit cards:

There's an 800 number for just about every credit card out there that you can use to cancel your card if it's lost or stolen. Within a few minutes of calling this number, their credit cards will be useless. Just make up a story like, "Yeah, I'm on vacation here in Seattle and my whole wallet was stolen with my Mastercard in it. Could you cancel that before someone uses it?" Pretend to be really worried about having to pay for charges you didn't make and so on.
They might want some extra information like the name of the bank which issued your card. You can guess or tell them you have no idea. (Unless you actually know which bank it is.) The Mastercard dude will want your driver's license number or social security number sometimes, but tell him you don't know either one because your wallet was stolen, dammit!

I seriously doubt Bealsmon even has a credit card, but RBCP also suggests toying with his phone service. Now that would work; call his phone company and get his line password protected. Or have his mail forwarded to Thailand (what'll he do without Mommy's checks?)

There are a lot of services out there that you can pay to get payback for you. They'll send dead flowers or sell you the "ultimate revenge kit" (only $29.97 . If you're willing to lay out some dough, how about picking up a little "overwhelmingly stinky" Liquid Ass? (Haven't smelled it myself and god willing, I never will.)

Or how about putting a curse on him?

I notice an alarmingly large number of bands with revenge in their name, btw. She Wants Revenge, Montezuma's Revenge (seriously), Molly's Revenge Celtic Music, Sweet Revenge, Revenge and Priscilla's Revenge to name but a few. Put a few of them on your iPod and get inspired.

Over to you Ali. Can't wait to find out what you do.

noreply@blogger.com (Web Archaelogist) — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 14:32:00 +0000

Sandwich

noreply@blogger.com (Web Archaelogist) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 00:47:00 +0000

a vibrator ad.

If She Can, I Can

noreply@blogger.com (Web Archaelogist) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 23:19:00 +0000

Over at Ali Purls, she's knitting up a cover for her vibrator. So I thought I'd riff on the same topic. Not the knitting part.

If you're thinking of investing and haven't so far, Come As You Are has a handy dandy guide to choosing the right one for you. They do come in many shapes, sizes, materials and colours.

About has a vibrator quizz. What's your score? Mine was in the zillions.

Also from About, some stats on the use of vibrators and toys:

According to Xandria Collection’s Toys in the Sheets survey, the most common vibrator user was a white Christian married woman, in her thirties, who votes Republican.

It seems that vibrator users are mostly white. That's either a shocking statisticor other cultures and ethnic groups are keeping some big big secrets from us.

Check out the online vibrator museum to see some interesting relics. I'm personally fascinated by the hand crank varieties which seem to have a lot in common with my old eggbeater. Just one more reason to appreciate electricity.

Also take a look at Slate's "A history of the vibrator" complete with slide show.

And speaking of old fashioned vibrators, did you catch the episode of Mad Men when Peggy tried out the vibrator belt?

No need for that now a days, not when there's "the toy":

The Toy is a hi-tech vibrating bullet. Connected to a mobile phone with Bluetooth it becomes an intimate, silent connection between two lovers, regardless of distance. Custom designed for your pleasure, it is intelligent, sophisticated and invented for bliss.

And if you're a masturbating environmentalist who's worn out her rabbit send it back to the company and enjoy a brand new one for half price. Or get yourself get a brand new solar powered vibrator (you can get a 4-in-1 hot dog maker from the same site, should you get hungry).

If you're planning a trip, You might want to check out the San Francisco Chronicle's guide to traveling with your vibrator. Don't put your rabbit in your carry on and take out the batteries of anything stashed in your checked bags. (And remember, the 3 ounce rule for liquids goes for lube, too.)

Okay, go enjoy yourself and remember, just because there's a toy involved doesn't mean you have to solo.

The Knitting Drummer Knits While Playing The Drums

noreply@blogger.com (Web Archaelogist) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 21:00:00 +0000

If you've already figured out what you're going to knit, perhaps you'd like to knit it while drumming.

Knitting Projects

noreply@blogger.com (Web Archaelogist) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 19:32:00 +0000

If you're looking for new knitting projects like my pal, Ali, check out some of these knit goods. Very cool:

This is the chicken viking hat. You can find a pattern for the baby size at Aloha Misc Media House. An adult sized pattern is on Crafter.

But if you're not really in the mood for chicken, how about hand knit boobs? These are actually used for medical purposes so put that dirty brain of yours back where it belongs. You can find a pattern for them on knitty.com, a source for many wierd and wonderful patterns including felted skate blade covers, a knit wig with curlers and a handknit womb.

Perhaps none of these are quite strange enough for your taste. If not, take a look at what the knitters at knittaplease are doing. For reasons entirely beyond my comprehension, they are knitting covers for everything from car antennas to the Great Wall of China and pretty much anything in between.

Relationship Blogging

noreply@blogger.com (Web Archaelogist) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 18:44:00 +0000

My friends Ali and Simon have decided to blog and vlog about their relationship. Not an unprecedented move by any means.
I just listened to a podcast from SXSW 2008 entitled Bloggers in Love: Intimacy and Technology. It features a bunch of blogging couples including Chris Pirillo and Ponzi and Julie Leung and Ted Leung.
You can listen right here:

Blogging couple Mike and Rion have a week old baby. I'm not sure if Ali and Simon will think that's an auspicious sign or not.

Addicted to Scrabbulous?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Archaelogist) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 00:59:00 +0000

You're not alone. According to today's New York Times, Scrabulous has over 700,000 players a day and nearly three million registered users.
As you may know Mattel and Hasbro, the companies that own the rights to Scrabble, aren't happy about all of this. They call the online version of the game piracy and are threatening legal action.
And it's true, Scrabulous is identical to Scrabble in a lot of ways. For example, it has an identical board and exactly the same number of tiles with the same point values. And the guys who made Scabulous, Rajat and Jayant Agarwalla, are raking in the dough -- $25,000 a month in advertising.
Meanwhile, Scrabulous is insanely popular with many users having a dozen or so games going at any one time. How many Scrabulous games do you have going right now?

If you're looking for new Scrabulous partners, I have two friends who probably have multiple games going right now, but are looking for new challengers nonetheless. Find Ali and Simon on Facebook and challenge them to a game. Tell them the Web Archaelogist sent you.

What To Do With All That Snow?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Archaelogist) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 00:35:00 +0000

There's a ton of it out there. If you've got no place left to put it, how about building snowman? Or better yet, snowwoman?
This cold as ice resident of Bethel Maine is 122 feet 1 inch tall with 5 foot wreaths for eyes; 16 skis for eyelashes, 30 ft. spruce trees for arms and 5 red auto tires for lips. Known as Olympia Snowwoman, she weighs in at 13,000,000 lbs.
She's the world's biggest snow person ever, beating out the 113'7 snowman built in Bethel back in 1999. He weighed a mere 8,000,000 lbs.
Check out the SnowWoman blog for tons more pictures. Or watch her on her very own webcam.

Mom Spit

noreply@blogger.com (Web Archaelogist) — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:19:00 +0000

Did you mom ever lick her fingers and then clean your face? Ever done it to your own kid? You can stop now because there's a product to replace your saliva. It's called Mom Spit.