wedding 2 point 0

Skydiving weddings

2009-10-22T14:16:00.000-04:00

We were just asked to marry a couple who want to tandem jump - the witnesses are going to jump, but I only have to wear a parachute. I spent the night wondering - should I jump or not?? Then, of course, the weather intervened, and the wedding is postponed.
Still not sure whether I'd follow the wedding party out the bay door...

Weddings on Rooftops

2009-09-17T21:15:00.004-04:00

Are bound to be windy. And if your rooftop is the West Side Story kind, with just the little curb stopping you from tumbling over, AND if the roof slants, like most of those I've been on in Brooklyn - please have the ceremony INSIDE, and hop up to the roof for pix. If I start to slide and grab you, we both go over ....

Youtube JK wedding entrance to Chris Love

2009-07-24T12:35:00.003-04:00

Just watch the JK wedding video to Chris Brown's "Forever". Of course you can do this - or anything else your heart desires - Mozart would probably have loved it. As a native MINNESOTAN (the Other side of the River, in Minneapolis) I *heart* this vid, and their charming little brown tuxedos.

Hipster Wedding - PopUp Chapel in Williamsburg

2009-07-15T11:43:00.008-04:00

We officiated at 5 lovely weddings at the Williamsburg PopUp Wedding Chapel in June. Lovely couples, arriving on Vespas,with pink hair to match the paper streamers, good music, hugs and happy families. Enjoy the pix. Pix by Sarah Sloboda

Wedding on Twitter?

2009-07-15T11:13:00.008-04:00

Well, of course people PROPOSE on Twitter. That's old news by now. But we were recently asked about a wedding service on Twitter (by a journalist, actually) so I guess I should answer. We have married people and recorded the ceremony and broadcast it on videophones, of course. We did this a few years ago when the groom's mother was refused a US visa, and she couldn't come to the wedding. We have also broadcast the wedding to distant relatives, absent friends, and friends in hospital. Twittering a wedding seems absurdly retro, in a way (Oh look, I got married and twitted and fell in a manhole...)

Of course our wedding couples from the EU text madly, sending congratulations, and updates:"We're just ready to start", "Yes, Mom, we just did it, I'm really married! -- So you can Tweet all you want about the event, as it's really just another cell phone call.

But if you want a "Wedding2point0" on Twitter - you could:
*Propose on Twitter.
*Tweet your ceremony assembly like a Flashmob Wedding ("If UR not Busy 2day, CU @ 1pm CentralPK fountain 4 our wedding, 4Mal dress Optional")
*Tweet directions and timing
*Tweet when the bride arrives ("Here she comes, rounding the bushes!")
*Live blog/tweet the ceremony to outsiders
*Tweet congratulations

But the point of a wedding, whether it's 4 people or 200, is so that a couple can face each other, in REALITY, in front of their witness/ friends/ family, and say in their OWN VOICES, "a public declaration of the private commitment that they have already made to one another", and that they are accepting the other person as their legal life partner, through whatever lies ahead of them. A Tweet is not a vow (though you can tweet the vows to others of course). (See this post on the minimum LEGAL aspects of a wedding ceremony).

Of course Nokia, Trou and Samsung would like you to queue for their Holographic Phone, and you can have a virtual Princess Leia wedding, if that's your costume play. Or if you want a truly surreal/Twitted (pace Colbert) 2point0 wedding, dress up your avatars and get "married" in 2ndLife. But if you want to share Health Insurance as well as bandwidth, just make sure you go to the Courthouse or get a live Marriage Officiant to perform a "Face Meet" marriage service for you - and use your voice, not your thumb.

Wedding Tattoos - Friday Jones @ SensesNY

2009-06-27T09:43:00.003-04:00

Wedding Tattoos - to get them, or to hide them?

At a wedding we did in Williamsburg last week, the bride asked to stand on the 'grooms' side at the ceremony, because she didn't want her heavily tatted right arm in the photos. My friend Steven, a great hairstylest at SensesNY, suggested she could have used Dermablend, which is a great coverup ... if she decided to be 'discreet'. Tats - always with you, of course. And you can dress to highlight your tats, as well as hide them..

If you decide to get a 'wedding tattoo', think about it for a LONG time, and if you're set on the action, and you're in NY, you can go see Friday Jones, down on 5th Avenue by Union Square - "The two-tone brunette has a degree in philosophy, a penchant for fighter pilots, and an obsession with iconography. She got an apprenticeship in the early ’90s and hit the road — inking singers, Hollywood bad girls, military men. She’s all rock and roll but knows the ladies are turned off by grimy parlors.

Post-consultation in her calm, clean spa suite, you’ll have a custom tat fitting (working with your musculature and personality). Then she’ll pour you some wine, plug in your iPod, call you sweet nicknames (momma, girlfriend), and get to work like a pro"

SensesNY, 138 Fifth Avenue, between 18th and 19th Streets, 2nd floor (212-242-7979 or fridayjones.net).

-- and of course you can see my friend Steve for wonderful color / style -

the two months salary art exhibit

2009-04-08T12:35:00.006-04:00

leegainer.com
A conceptual artist has produced a show based on the 1940s ad campaign by DeBeers that you should spend 2 months salary on an engagement ring. She has made a series of paintings for different economic classes (this is "A List Actor"). Enjoy her artists statement, and there are MANY blogs talking about this right now.

Read Weddings and Visa Weddings - a cautionary tale

2009-04-05T10:08:00.003-04:00

A tale of a real wedding and the Green Card detectives. [Well, they've removed the story. Hmmm]

If you marry someone from another country, it's a very good idea to document your relationship. Keep pictures of yourselves together in your domestic abode. Get friends to take your pictures. GET A BANK ACCOUNT and some sort of ID with your names on it. Some people DO get married for visa reasons only, and the Immigration Department would like to go after them. But if you are legitimately married, be sure that you can prove that you DO live together. In the modern world of internet banking and cyberspace, you may not be generating paper proof that you are a legitimate couple.

Read Bruce and Jasmina's story - and pay heed. Happy wedding!

Iowa Supreme Court: Gay marriage legal!

2009-04-03T11:18:00.001-04:00

My gracious! My home state! Gotta be proud of this!

Des Moines Register The Iowa Supreme Court this morning unanimously upheld gays’ right to marry.

“The Iowa statute limiting civil marriage to a union between a man and a woman violates the equal protection clause of the Iowa Constitution,” the justices said in a summary of their decision. The court rules that gay marriage would be legal in three weeks, starting April 24.

Same Sex weddings around the world

2009-04-01T13:00:00.003-04:00

Couples often contact us regarding same sex weddings. Mary is certified as a Marriage Commissioner in Ontario, and of course Canada allows same sex legal marriage. So we are always pleased to conduct Canadian marriage ceremonies for gay couples.

But as legislation around the world seems to be changing rapidly (see Sweden Approves Same Sex Marriage April 1)-- we suggest you check this wikipedia article, which already has the update date on Sweden, and has links for civil unions and same sex weddings in the US and globally.

Press, Recession memes, and zeitgeist shift

2009-03-24T10:14:00.003-04:00

Lots of journalists calling us these days looking for stories on "recession weddings". (the latest was the Voice of America, the New York Daily News, and even Japanese national television). But it's hard to get them to do the story about the REAL shift in weddings - from the corporatized slick airbrushed BridesMag style to a more personal, Etsy-flavored, "artisanal" , green, eco, friends&family - d.i.y. zeitgist. The shift isn't just economical or because its CHEAPER to do your own wedding. People are changing their wedding plans to reflect changes in their own lives and outlook on life, and it's a natural shift.
Yes, it's cheaper to make your own decorations, have a wedding in the park, ask your friends to bring food, buy a vintage dress, play your own music, and source everything locally and green - but that's what we're doing now for any party. We haven't had the first wedding invitations on Twitter that I know of - but I'm sure they're out there. Along with other great ideas for saving trees, and communicating laterally. Cupcake trees and bamboo plates aren't new - and biodegradable soap bubbles and flower seeds replaced confetti long ago.

Ten years - such a difference. I DO remember the bride that showed up with 25 members of her family in the white Hummer - and the hothouse flowers, and the toxic glo-sticks and the plastic decorations. And they're still out there. But a simple, organic, natural wedding is now a norm, not an anomaly. We've gone BACK, in a way, to home and family weddings, where you know everyone who is there, and you have time to greet them and share the day with people you will see again. And the other details - the home or park setting, the simple natural food, the friends who do the music and make the cake, the handmade programs and decorations and locally-sourced details, are all OUTCOMES of the switch back to the real meaning of a wedding: declaring your private commitment to each other in a public ceremony to your family, friends and those who will continue to love and support you in the years to come. Simple. And now let's eat.

Live music for the ceremony?

2009-03-12T11:16:00.004-04:00

Yes. With reservations. But usually much better than canned.

Ipod-driven tracks are great - but we've had some doozer mistakes (never use an antique shuffle - we got heavy metal for the bride's entrance, to everyone's amusement). We've seen grooms hiding out in a closet frantically searching I-tunes to find wedding tracks when the DJ had a hangover or dropped the files. Don't go there.

It's hard for a dj or digital sound people to see the bride when the place is full and everyone's standing up. A live musician (except keyboard or harpist) can move around and see people. Live music carries well, and is more responsive. You can adjust to babies, late ceremonies, jets flying over, and don't have to worry about batteries and dead sockets - which happened at a penthouse wedding - no juice!

Violins, brass, woodwinds, dulcimers, accordions all carry well in parks. Guitars, not so much, ditto cellos. Rain is bad for most everything - especially strings. String quartets need to sit down somewhere, as do a lot of guitarists.

Outdoor amplifiers need LONG extension cords, and don't work in parks.

Singing is good! Acapella is wonderful (or with flute or folk instruments). Live jazz or blues is good. We often have the guests hum the wedding march in the park - along with the birds and other natural sounds, it's very happy.

If you have a musical friend/relative - let THEM plan things for you. They'll work harder if you give them their own head, and list your faves, but trust their judgement. It's a wedding gift - talent from those you love.

Filene's Pamplona

2009-02-28T11:57:00.004-05:00

Here - turn your sound down - is the FILENES RUNNING OF THE BRIDES discount bride dress event. Here are DATES in other cities, including Boston, Atlanta, Washington, etc. Broken legs and laces, anyone? See our list of recyled dresses on Agreenbride.com!

Aww - Nice magazine story on a New York Wedding

2009-02-04T10:18:00.006-05:00

Here is our great couple from Birmingham, UK. We married them at the Top of the Rock (Rockefeller Center) in December (post below), and they've now been featured in Live24/7, A Brit magazine, with the photoshoot from the rest of the day. The photographer, Steve Gerrard, also shoots rock bands. They had a great time in New York - and went down to the webcam at Times Square after the wedding to wave at family back home.

Alice in Crochet Land dress

2009-01-24T10:40:00.003-05:00

This is from the MakerFaire craft site - and then the Craftzine.com blog it's not a wedding dress, but just imagine it a bit more elaborate -- Love it.

Fantasy Wedding locations

2009-01-11T18:15:00.002-05:00

New one: 632 on Hudson (Meatpacking, NY).
Got any?

Great Wedding Pix

2008-12-18T21:29:00.005-05:00

Amazing wedding photographer - Steve Gerrard (from Birmingham, UK) - photographed this great wedding at the Top of the Rock in New York, in December. He does a lot of musicians, and other work too -- enjoy his fab website. (And try to reach him if he's ever coming over stateside...)
Here's his NY wedding diary....

Another Fab wedding dress

2008-12-15T08:06:00.001-05:00

And an entirely lovely wedding, in the Vale of Kasmir, in Prospect Park, Brooklyn. This was just on the cusp of sunset - and the birds were circling round us. Love the fur wrap, too! The photo is by Tiffany Hagler. See her nifty work at: TiffanyHagler.com

When is a ceremony TOO short?

2008-10-15T14:22:00.003-04:00

When we're planning a ceremony, we frequently encounter couples who insist on "bare bones" - they usually say "we're shy", or "we don't like fuss", or "we don't like public speaking". Of course we try and follow the couples wishes, and create a ceremony that they want. We have 'bare bones' ceremonies you can use, and we can design a very simple, quick ceremony for you. I have also timed out how fast a ceremony goes, just so you can get an idea.

However, I often get a comment that "the ceremony went by just too fast". I'm not surprised. When you're trying to AVOID those long weddings you've been at where the talking is interminable, it seems like a good idea to cut everything but the essentials - 'do you?, yep,I do', then 'take this ring, I pronounce, kiss, hello new couple, and let's open the wine...'

However, here is a post from other bridal blog, a practicalwedding.com, where the bride discusses her surprise that wedding may have been 'too short', and it lacked the involvement of the people who had been invited:

Something that really surprised me about our wedding, is that the ceremony went by waaaaay too fast. This is because it was short-short-short. Intentionally. Ben and I are not terribly sentimental people. We find that our love and commitment is expressed on a daily basis, and while it was important to us to make this commitment in the eyes of our community of friends and family, we did not want it to be a big production. Short and sweet and on to the party pu-lease. BUT, I found that because it went by so fast, it was hard to take it in. I did not have time to look out at the faces of my guests, of our families and take in these little joys. [I was too busy crying like a baby and trying to get through my vows!] I suppose some sort of audience [is that the right word?] interaction part of the ceremony might have helped that."

We often suggest that the ideal length for an informal, stand-up small wedding is about 16-18 minutes. That includes the introduction and welcome, a reading or two (lighthearted and simple), a mention of those present and those who could not be there, and usually, an offer for the guests to support the couple and wish them well. In fact, this sequence often takes the place of "giving away", which is an antiquated tradition.

Even if your wedding is small and informal, it's still your MARRIAGE ceremony. Take a moment, and think about what you would like. Your officiant will be able to take care of the writing and speaking, so you really don't have to memorize anything or do any public talking that is difficult. But consider what you would like to say or have said, who you would like to mention, how to include any friends or family in your brief ceremony (presenting the rings? reading a short passage or letter from an absent guest? holding your rings to 'warm them with their love' before presenting them? offering a short musical piece, either a cappella singing or instrumental, signing the license and marriage certificate as part of the ceremony, etc.). You can always edit the ceremony BACK, but you can't extend it once you're set - and give yourself time to breathe and focus and enjoy the ceremony and make it meaningful to YOU as well as to your guests. That's what it's all about.

CT overturns gay marriage ban - that makes 3

2008-10-10T14:48:00.000-04:00

BOSTON (Reuters) - The Connecticut Supreme Court overturned a ban on same-sex marriage on Friday in a victory for gay-rights advocates that will allow couples to marry in the New England state.

The court found that the state's law limiting marriage to heterosexual couples discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation. Connecticut is now the third state in the country to allow gay marriage, following neighboring Massachusetts, the first state to allow it, and California.

Connecticut already permitted same-sex civil unions that grant largely the same state rights as to married couples, but lack the full, federal legal protections of marriage.

Four years ago, eight same-sex couples sued the state, arguing that their constitutional rights were being denied when they were not able to get marriage licenses.

In the 4-3 opinion, the court wrote "the state has failed to provide sufficient justification for excluding same sex couples from the institution of marriage."

Cryptography Wedding Ring Contest!

2008-09-07T22:44:00.003-04:00

Cory Doctorow, scifi writer and editor of BoingBoing.net, is a lover of things clever, cryptic, and steampunk. He's also Canadian, which warms my maple leaf heart.

He's running a contest for people to design uses for the cryptography built into his wedding rings. "When my wife and I started to plan our wedding, we inevitably turned to the question of rings, and it was only a matter of time before we came to the idea of rings with little wheels on them that could be used as crypto devices, in the manner of super-duper Captain Midnight Decoder Badges. His Rules:

"Now it's time that we turn to the Internet with a challenge: given these two matching rings, what crypto applications can you come up with? Could you use them to scramble passwords (possibly hashed with a key)? How about encoding messages for secret transmission? What additional common apparatus (say, different-sized coins) could you use to generate initialization vectors and increase the system's security?

This is an open competition to be judged by Bruce "Applied Cryptography" Schneier and me -- the winner gets a copy of Little Brother signed by both of us. Post your submissions to the comments or send them to cryptocontest@craphound.com before Oct 1, 2008. (Go look at the nifty ring).

How many attendants? Who cares!

2008-08-26T08:22:00.004-04:00

I used to watch Bridezilla once in a while, until it gave me hives. Such worrying, such angst - the poor brides, it seemed more like Olympic training for "event competition" than wedding planning...where was the joy? Out the window with the fired wedding planner, in most cases.

The worst segment involved a bride whose groom decided at the last minute to add one more groomsman (a good friend), thus 'unbalancing' her symmetric arrangement of bridesmaids. She drummed her fingers on the table, insisted that he 'fire' the extra groomsman, and then announced that she had a secret weapon, if he insisted on ruining her perfect wedding, she would simply PHOTOSHOP the extra groomsman out of the wedding pictures.

Many people ask us about the 'right' number of attendants, and whether each groomsman should have a matching bridesmaid of equal height. Of course, we have no opinions on this question, because the choice of supporters to stand up with you on your wedding day is actually determined by WHY you have chosen your wedding party, what the people mean to you, and who you wish to include and honor in this important event.

The JOB of the attendants is simple: to act as witnesses and supporters as the two of you declare your intention, in front of family and friends, to live together as a family unit. The reason you have 'attendants' is so that there is a properly witnesses legal record that you have agreed to be married to each other in a public forum. The officiant asks the questions, and RECORDS your decision for the State's records, the witness/s sign the license to state that they were there as impartial historical observers of this contract. In earlier days, they would represent the villagers in your town, all agreeing that you are an official couple, because they were there when you agreed to be partners. And then you all broke bread together (or cake) and sealed the deal. In practical terms, modern witnesses/attendants may help seat guests (in addition to ushers) hold your rings and flowers, help with your dress, keep an eye on the ringbearer, sign the license, read some passages, propose the toast, and do little jobs like fix your makeup, and pay the band.

You do not need a maid of honor and a best man at all, of course. A person serving as a witness can do all of the above jobs. In sentimental terms, you may want your sister, best friend, room-mate, or any other special person to stand beside you as a supporter. The bride may choose a brother or male supporter, the groom can ask a close female friend as a supporter. The sides do NOT have to be even in number! If you are having a formal procession, the supporters generally come in one x one, and uneven numbers leave together in 2s and 3s - arm in arm. It does not matter at all what gender and what side. A few years ago, female attendants on the groom's side often wore tuxes - but this seems to be fading.

(As for photoshop, of course you could just pop in anyone you want - Matt Damon, Penelope Cruz - or have a digital frame and change it up hourly. Ah, neurotic bridezilla alternate reality 2nd Life - not).

The real outdoor wedding

2008-07-09T17:42:00.004-04:00

Is a little messy. We had a park wedding today, in a lovely setting in Central Park, New York City. It had just rained, and the ground was damp, and a few stray twigs were cluttering up the lawn. There were ducks, and birds, and a few squirrels, and kids running around. It was a lovely summer day.

The bride arrived, with her dress clutched up to her chin. For an outdoor park wedding, she wore a heavy satin gown, back laced, with a 5 foot train. We stopped to tie up the bustle, and the train still swept the ground (like a puddle train) at least 2 feet behind. The dress was. going. to. get. dampish. It was clar that the wind was blowing a bit -- disarranging her hair. Everyone fretted and tried to dry off the grass (!). The service was lovely, and eventually she appeared to forget about the wet ground - though an opportunistic bug got under her veil - causing a stage 3 meltdown.

Advice: It's OUTSIDE. There will be WEATHER. There will be DIRT. Maybe pigeon poop. Probably a few bugs. The wind will blow, your shoes will get spattered, your heels will sink into the ground, and your hair will fly away if not laquered.

If you want a clean and antiseptic photo-op without these surprises, try the Rainforest Cafe. I'm sure there's one in a mall near you. Outdoor weddings are full of sand and wind and twigs and butterflies (or bees). Go with the flow and you'll be happy. Otherwise - find a nice hotel with nice wallpaper -- and you'll keep your train and your wedding shoes clean. Happy Outdoors!

Low posting - Iowa Floods

2008-06-21T13:59:00.003-04:00

I am visiting family in Cedar Rapids, in the floods. Please excuse lite posting.

Weather and style

2008-06-11T11:07:00.004-04:00

It. was. hot.
We had several lovely weddings this weekend, but I was quite worried about the grooms in the 95 degree heat. The brides were in summer chiffon, strapless linen, and even barefoot before and after the ceremony.

But what happened to summer suits? A lot of grooms were 'brick red' in the heat. It's true, you need your jacket for the frigid restaurant after a park wedding, but only one groom was in a light jacket. Lighten up, gentlemen! Though some people are afraid of summer suits:

"The most important rule is to not look like you work in an ice cream truck...For the most part, white suits should be avoided. They tend to be impractical— because they get dirty so easily.. Unless it is a beautifully tailored suit made of the finest linen or cotton, and you are a Southern trial lawyer, like Gregory Peck in To Kill a Mockingbird, or a 19th century British colonial administrator, they should be strenuously avoided" Well. so says Business Week.

Or perhaps people are thinking of this poem, by Liam Rector

"Fat Southern men in their summer suits,
Usually with suspenders, love to sweat
Into and even through their coats,

Taking it as a matter of honor to do so,
Especially when the humidity gets as close
As it does each Southern summer..."

But it seems inflexible: Weddings and Funerals - dark suits rule. It's SERIOUS stuff, requires gravitas.

Here's a great post about bygone Summer Whites - see the wonderful Great Gatsby wedding picture.

So, lighten up! Be brave. Be retro. Be ethnic. Be Graham Greene. Try the poplin, seersucker, linen, pintail, silk -- don't just buy a new TIE, have fun with the few options open to men, and be sure to coordinate with the bride - so your stripes don't overshadow her chiffon. And it's true, linen and rain and sweat aren't friends. But poplin is great, and nice Merchant Ivory style Indian Cotton Shirts. Hair is playing in Central Park this summer, after all.