Weit..

Happy n Syukur

2012-01-27T14:46:00.000+08:00

Yerp, that is the word for me now, and Assalamualaikum.

I'm blessed and I'm happy, you are not the exception of me.
chewwah.

No, actually, I'm happy because my long-lost friendship is bonded again thru facebook, and because of her, I spend some of my not-that-quality-time to cry on and ponder over, she is my besties for the first year of my undergraduate, and she got the same name as me, not all, but half of it, and we are called differently, she is farah, and I'm affu, to differentiate and influence from my secondary school. Yeah, I'm called affu/ah foo/affoo during my school days. And I'm very excited to build that kind of relationship again, I'm too in live with her, yeah, you know, that kind of love to her bff, I do take care of her, and may she is suffocating and the bond broke. and I'm thinking I'm doing it again here, I'm suffocating someone, and hopefully this kind of love I had for her, is love worth for a friend, she is perfect for me, as of now, you know what. because of her encouragement, I got 4 As, out of 5 subjects I took last semester, though it is not official, but I am very syukur.

And back to the story of a long-lost friendship, she is the one where I spent some of my entries talking about her. Hoho, too much love I gave huh? yeah, that is why, I'm thinking, please find me a guy, so I should marry, and don't suffocate anyone else, I do have much love in me. Hoho.

You know what, yesterday, I got to know my latest result, which I got an A, but poorly, my dear friend only got a B+, we studied together, we revised together, and we even slept together before the exam, and I'm completely lost for about 5 hours, thinking why she got different than me, then, I realized, that is the gift from Allah for me, and for her, so that we are being grateful for what we got, I'm not being that grateful this passt months, I did blame Allah, but then, thinking, pondering and wondering, I literally got the answers,
I got good marks, she got handsome boyfie, hehe. so, it is our own rejeki? isn't it.

So, I'm up for next semester, hopefully, I'll do better this semester, owh, by the way, please find me a decent guy so I should get marry, I don't want to hold that love anymore, I do love God, but it is always different the love to God and the love to human.

I love God, and I do mistakes, and I repent, that is what always what I've done, and for that part, I want a man who can correct me and make my love for God more pure and holistic, as you knew, someone married will have full pahala, not half of it. I'm a decent young woman who is waiting for a decent young man to take me as his other half, don't have to be that perfect, just be perfect for me. not anyone else. ameen.

so, the readers, u got the task now, hehe.
see you then.

Heaven on Earth

2012-01-23T17:58:00.001+08:00

This is what I called Heaven on Earth. yeap, this is where I belong, and if u are looking to where I'm staying, how about go take a look at this link.
see ya.

Semester 1

2012-01-14T18:44:00.001+08:00

Salam, this semester is going to end, in 2-3 days. Hopefully, I'm well prepared for next sem will not to repeat any subjects. Ameen. Allah, I'm longing for Your help. This semester is going to fast, as I hardly remember what these days back went passed by. truly unimaginable, how I can survive this, in new place, with new friends. And all those thanks to my family, my friends and the lecturers and so on n on. I do have no regret for this semester, as I think, I have used my time to the fullest, as compared to my time in undergrade. It is like 20%-30% compared to this semester struggle. Maybe because I found a very helping and understanding friends. Yeah, thank you Allah, for showing me the right path, now, it is my job to bring them to remember you. and me too. I sometimes too happy, that I would forget the existence of You. I'm truly sorry for that.

I do have high hope for this semester, but, looking to the first two finals paper, I don't think so. But, I'm hoping for miracle from The Almighty, as He knows the best for me. He always knows, and will know it. ANd for those friends here in UTM, thanks for supporting me, without u guys, I could have been a lone ranger, and didn't study much, keep writing in blog and do nothing. thank you for finding me.

Hurm, what to write, nothing interesting rite? Yeah, this is because I'm happy, and nothing bother me much, and my blog goes beautiful when I'm mad or angry or sad or hypely happy. haha. Jahat me right. And koya me too. Koya that my blog is a beaut. Ok, I should include a pic here, so, it will not be super boring, for me to read once again.

I'm a student

2012-01-10T20:30:00.000+08:00

salam,
meeting again.
As most of the readers know, I'm currently pursuing my studies in MA degree. Practically, I am a student. But, as my age is increasing, I feel the urge to get into next chapter of my life, getting married. But, as this entry is written, I don't have anyone special, and I don't intend to find one. As I don't think with my capabilities I can find one. So, I've decided to let my parents do the job for me. As, in the first place, I don't have the intention of getting married. For me, it is a very complex relationship. and need a very skeptical mind thinking and actions to accomplished successfully.

So, the topic today is about me as a student.
I'm currently wrapping up for my last semester in this study, and 17th Jan will be my last paper. It is titled System Identification. And not to brag, but I got highest mark, and my studymate aka my bestfriend in UTM now, just got 0.5 less mark than me. so, practically, we are in the same range. And I'm very thank you for that especially to my parents. They did the doa' most of the time, and off course it came from the Almighty. It is not an award, but a thank you letter to those who had given me faith and pray for me. Though, I'm hoping that I'll do better in final paper, as it inflicted, how good UIA student are. As the lecturer always called me by the name, "UIA student, Farah" to answer some question. I intend not to do any damage on UIA good name. so, grade would be sufficient for now, InshaAllah. ameen. As I don't love UTM as I love UIA, for now. And I hope I'll love UTM more after this. InshaAllah.

I'm thinking of reformation to a better woman, I'm 25 now, for God sake. haha. And I occasionally do something silly. Hoho. Me as Farahana always will be in good mood if she can do something silly, for instance, give out her point of view as the view comes from anyone good in that field. always do mind-thinking and self-praised about her sixth sense. And show that she is not in good mood, though in her heart, she like it very much. hahaha. I've got to change this attitude, I'm not a kid anymore. I'm 25 this year.

And to those my friends in UIA, if u come across this entry, I'm more matured, it is not that I'm changing, I'm trying to be better, As u know how not good I am when I'm in undergrade year, fooling around, make people hurt, playing games all the time, couldn't careless about studies. I'm still me with some improvements.

Bonne soir.

Merenung

2012-01-08T12:30:00.000+08:00

Kadang2, Allah jadikan ribut, untuk kita bersyukur dan menyedari bahawa, semuanya milik Dia, namun, ada ynag menyalahkan takdir.

Kadang2, Allah berikan kegembiraan, untuk kita nikmati dan supaya kita tidak lupa, nanti kita susah, Allah dah pernah beri kegembiraan, namun, ada yang jeles dgn kegembiraan kita, dan mungkin juga kita lupa ianya datang dari Allah..

Kadang2, Allah berikan kita hujan, untuk basahkan sedikit bumi, boleh basuh jalan, untuk tanaman, namun ada yang merungut, tak boleh jemur baju.

Kadang2, Allah gembirakan hati kawan2, dan family kita, namun kita masih dalam keributan masalah. Untuk apa? Kerna, kawan dan family boleh menolong dan mengembirakan kita. namun, kita kadang2 sangat la berdengki dgn kegembiraan org lain.

Semua ini, datang dari Allah.
Nikmat tidur yang lena, makanan yang sedap, masa yang banyak, duit yang tidak pernah kering, minyak dalam kereta sentiasa ada, dapat membaca, melihat, dan sebagainya lagi, namun, kita kadang2 lupa untuk bersyukur.

Kita juga kadang2 menyalahkan keadaan, persekitaran, kerajaan mungkin, kerana kita tidak pernah puas dgn apa yg kita ada. Mungkin ini datang dari syaitan. namun, bila ianya menjadi kebiasaan, titik2 hitam ini menjadi besar, dan ianya dtg terus dari hati kita.

Jadi, bersyukur la dgn apa yang kita ada. bersyukur tidak hanya dengan menadah tgn dan berterima kasih dgn Allah. bersyukur boleh dgn pelbagai cara,
kita sama2 gembira bersama rakan2 yang gembira,
kita sama menolong orang yang kesusahan.
kita tidak merungut bila hujan turun, dan kain masih di-ampaian,
kita tidak jeles dgn orang yang ceria dan gembira.
dan banyk cara lagi.

Ingatlah, setiap sesuatu musibah dan nikmat yang datang adalah dari Tuhan. dan ianya datang bersama hikmah yang boleh dirungkaikan terus, atau selepas bertahun2, baru kita menyedari hikmah itu. oleh itu, marilah kita bersyukur dengan nikmat yang kita ada sekarang.
ini juga untuk saya.

jom sesama kita menjadikan apa yg buruk kepada baik, dan yg baik kpd yg lebih baik. Jejom

Ikhlas dari Farahana yang rase sgt malas nk study,
*malas nk study nih, mungkin dari hti yang sudah ada titik2 hitam. jom hilangkan titik2 itu.

this pic is credited to: Khazinatul Asrar

Read these

2011-12-28T19:48:00.004+08:00

Rabbighfirli (Tuhanku, ampuni aku)
Warhamni (sayangi aku)
Wajburnii (Tutuplah aib-aibku)
Warfa’nii (Angkatlah darjatku)
Warzuqnii (Berilah aku rezeki)
Wahdinii (Berilah aku petunjuk)
Wa’Aafinii (Sihatkan aku)
Wa’fuannii (Maafkan aku)

Heart and Brain

2011-12-24T09:11:00.001+08:00

Honestly speaking,
I don't think my brain ever talk with my heart.

Here is how, I think I don't want to get married, or having children or whatsoever,
but my heart said, no, you will be alone, and u have to get married, to get someone to love u and take care of u.

How would this happend?

After I ponder about this, I get some kind of realization (or revelation) that the heart is thinking with a soul that has imann in it. and my mind is not thinking straight forward and had some syaitan in it. SO, the conclusion, I have to change my principle.

I'm no kid anymore, I'm a woman, a post-grade student and a daughter, and hopefully a very-very good daughter of my parents, and 1 more thing I don't want to miss is, I'm a slave to my God. a slave in this context is not the slave of what most people think. A slave here is a slave that did, do and will do what her GOD told her to do with pleasure, and with some sort of piety to her GOD. With imann and intention to have a little love from her God. that is the slave word means here.

SO, now, I want to make a confession. I got a dream just before I came to right this post, like 30 minutes earlier. I got a dream that shows I'm engaged to someone I know, and it is shown in fb. Whattt? no. I don't know anything about this, and I'm engaged to a family friend's son. And obviously, I know who is it. And come to think about it, it is syaitan all the way, and they obviously trying very hard to get into my heart, Hopefully, my imann has enough strength to tackle their attacks.

The motif of this entry is, to let me write or tell or anything associated to that, I'm going to tell my mom, my parents obviously, to find a good someone out there, a special for their eyes and to my eyes, to live with me for the rest of his live and do some sort of jobs that my parents had been doing for 24 years. and to lift up the responsibility of my parents to him, take my sins as his, and tarbiyah me to The Almighty Allah. ameen. hopefully, this will be a good start for me. Thinking now that my principle is changing a little bit.

See ya in next post.
Hugs and Kisses.

Miss me?

2011-12-22T13:26:00.001+08:00

Hurm, got no story,
But I Do have something to ponder, and make u wonder,

In my future, I never saw anything like having baby or something related to it.
Though, I ponder, is my life will not include that, or am I just a selfish young girl who see that she is not fitting in that life style.

Mom, if you read this, make sure u find a good husband for me. Thank you. I'll leave that part of my life to u. as almost all decisions, I made myself, and never take care of your opinions. so, I'm giving the chance, to let u, find me a suitable husband, InshaAllah, I'll never ask more. Ameen.

Yeehoo.

XOXO

I'm okay

2011-12-19T15:25:00.001+08:00

Instead keeping the worries inside deep in my heart, I rather want to potray it to the world, though I'm not okay inside, saying "I'm okay" would relieve a little bit worries in my red heart, as by uttering out loud, at the very least, psychologically some percentage of my mind thinking that I'm okay.

very too much workload to be listed, but not at the top, I still can breath and watch gossip girl from time to time. Hehe. Not saying much today as I'm currently in the task of writing a short thesis on biodiversity. Wish me luck in writing.

Loving You

2011-12-17T08:34:00.001+08:00

I ain't perfect,
I ain't me sometimes,
I do lost focus on things,
I do make mistakes, and it is my 2nd nature,
I ain't loving you wholesomely, I do have friends and family,

But,
I'll try to be perfect for you,
I'll be your girlfriend, wife, and friend for you, and sometimes the stranger,
I will focus on you, and take details on every subject we involved in.
I'll make you my 2nd nature,
Unfortunately, I have portions in my heart for my Creator, He takes all the portions.
And in the portion, there will be you, my family and my friends.

Hope you don't mind loving me wholeheartedly, and I don't mind if Our Creator is you most closest friend.
I'll be by your side.

A poem for my half.

Nufas.
8.25am 17 Dec 2011.

Loving You

Down

2011-12-09T14:40:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum. I'm totally down for today. And I realized Allah must has love me too much to give this feeling for me, to give this test. I can bear it. Maybe Allah is bit worried of me as I'm not that good anymore. I wore short shirt, I do talk bad about people around me, and I do lost hope in Him. I'm sorry ya Allah, but, I guess, the best choice now, is for me to stop studying, and find a good job, though, I'm no good at that division, I used to don't take into account what my mom's said and think for myself, now, I've made my parents worried bout me. I'm bad since small and till now. When can I be good to them, make them proud. Don't have to make them worry about me? when? Is it after I die? Is there going to be someone who love me? or shortly, I love myself more than I love Allah and His Messenger? Ya Allah, ease my way. I'm not good at dealing all this sort of things. You know that I'm bit emotional. And I do lot of mistakes, but, don't u think this is bit too much for me? Ya Allah, I love You, but sometimes, I forgot about You. I'm sorry, please forgive me. I know, You want to remind me of You, and don't be arrogant, and showing off my capabilities is one of the thing that you don't like, thus, take me into right path. Maybe I have to start back in the beginning of the path, please show me the Hidayah. It never comes from anyone else. So, I'm asking for it. And please, please Ya Allah, don't make my mom worry about me, she is too good to be my mom, and I hate to be a burden to them. Ya Allah, please forgive me and my wrongdoing, take me into right path and ease my way.

Hardship

2011-12-07T16:56:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

I've never been in hardship before, syukur alhamdulillah, Allah always ease my ways. He gave everything, and obviously, thru my parents. He gave me a car when I need one, He give me many friend when I only need one. He never ever forget to give me money. I never been in total hardship, where no way out. I'm fortunate in that part of life. Though, I've made my decision. I want to be a volunteer one day in the future. Plus, that is one of the reason why I don't believe I can do well in relationship called marriage. I'm no good in giving out what I have. Ya Allah, if this is the best way of my life, grant me this wish with ease. I always wanted to be in Iraq and help those in needs. And after watching this video, I wanted to be there and ease their pain. And teach them to be thankful to You, Our Merciful Creator. I know, You are not to be blamed, but blame ourself who never knows hot to be thankful. Ya Allah. forgive me for all the pain that I've caused people around me especially my parents. Thus, do watch this video, if u don't feel like wasting a tear drops, you should be shameful to God. Hope not. Bye, a plus tard.

My Version of Fairy Tale Part 2

2011-12-02T18:35:00.001+08:00

Asssalamualaikum.

Yay, I'm writing again, and I'm moved by the comment given by my beloved sister, she loved my writing. hehe. Hopefully, if my mom read my blog, she will only read it, and that give a taught to me that she haven't read what I've written. Ok, back to reality, I got the first result for my test, and it is very much thank you to the lecturer who had given me marks, eventhough I make couple mistakes. Thank you to Dr. Zahar, plus my study mate too, Thank you Kak Miza, if you feel like having a naughty sister, haha.

I wanna write something, but I don't have any idea to convert into writing, thus, this part 2 may be not be that satisfying. This is the consequence part of this entry, hopefully, you will not be that "loya" after reading this.

.......
As you still remember, he, the French guy had given me a letter that made my jaw dropped. And I'm anxiously waiting for his answer on that and what he had talked about with his friend when I saw him on that day. After the had the letter that I've replied, he stared at it blindly, and within seconds, I can see his smiley face. Ahh, why must he be so cute this time. Farahana is too fast too furious on that particular issue. Another smile would bring another smile. Yes, it happened to me at the very time. I smile too when I see his face. And I don't know for what reason. He said merci and went outside. Maybe he is too nervous or he just don't like the ideas of what I've written. Then, I'm feeling a bit shocked by his response, and there comes the sad part. Owh, Farahana why are you so sad? I don't know, maybe he is too handsome and too romantic for me, and I'm not that good of people leaving the scene when he had made my day, Though I'm trembling inside.

Ok, my day seem okay for like 2 weeks, and I start to forget the incident, as I don't think that it is worth of thinking. Plus, life in Burgundy is not that easy, I've to catch up with new thing each day pass by.

On one afternoon, where I'm sipping a cup of coffee outside the library, I'm approached by an unknown guy, and he had given me a rose with a card attached to it. So, I'm very shocked literally at that time. And my brain start to lingering for the guy image, after I've forget the incident in library, and off course I search trough out the area for his appearance, and he is nowhere near that area. I'm frustrated a little bit. Haha, pity Farahana, but remembere, this is my version of my fairy tale. so, don't chock up. I'm curious of what the card says, so, I read the card, the writing inside is:

Hello mademoiselle. I'm Jonathan, the guy approached you last day. I hope, you don't forget about me. I always remember you, and till today, my day never seem Ok since I cannot talk to you. Actually, I've taught about what u have written, and the rules that you want me to complete. Sorry to say this, but I've talk to one of your friend, and I get to know your facebook, and I've stalked your facebook. And my love for you is increasing day by day. I'm amazed of how you cope with ur life here, alone, and no one by your side, I get to know your family in there. And, I've made friend with ur mother. She accepted my friend request today, and I'm very happy and excited. Firstly, I wanna tell you this. And I'm very sorry as I've stalked your facebook, and used it for my advantage, and so just so u know, I'm preparing to complete your rules, though it seem so hard for me, your love for me is what I've longing for. So, I'm not well prepared if you have rejected me the first day I approached you, this is a relief for me. Thus, I hope that you will not forget about me, and wait for me for this brighter journey we are leading to. By that, I wanna say, Ess-say-lay-mu-a-lay-kom.

Huh, my heart dropped at the very time. He seem good with my conditions and he had started to prepare for completing the rules. Owh, I'm moved by his actions, though I'm bit shocked by his story that he had made friend with my mom. Yeah, you know, my mom is very active in facebook, why won't he reject a guy request when he came from French right, I'm confused too. But, I haven't talk or fb with my mom since 3 days. Bit buzy with workload. Ok, my thinking now goes to the last part of the card, he said Assalamualaikum. He had made his moved. What am I doing here, go see the friend that your mom just made. Argh, I'm totally hyped with the situation, though I can't see the bright future of us ahead. Maybe we can be friend and not another intimate relationship. I've given taught of that, and it doesn't make sense at all. But, who knows what Allah can do. "Kun fayakun".

My feeling at that time is very hard to describe, too many questions and too many answer for each question popped out in my mind. But first thing, I wanna checked up my fb. And by that, I wanna end this part 2 of my fairy tale. Hopefully you guys enjoy this story of mine, though it is just a tale, the reality for it to come true is never be in proportional figure as we don't know what happens next, Allah have written it in Luh Mahfuz, we are here to keep working and praying. ameen. by that. XOXO.

Ahh, and below is picture of my longtime crush on "mata sepet" guy from Korea, he is an actor.

A Day in Last November

2011-12-01T06:09:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum,
Whaa, I'm amazed as I can think of that title. eheh.
Yes, we are in December now, and next month, I'm 25. Hoho. so fast ah? Owh, by the way, my family who had married all got married before they are 25, so, what am I now? haha.

OK, it is actually a very menaningful day one. this one is written after a 24 hour cycle of a day for less than an hour sleep. and all we did is doing the assignment which is still halfway to this very point. And we have to submit it at 10am today. not that we are doing it last minutes, but, the hurdles always there, as I know, Allah still loves us. Thank You Allah.

Though, I'm thankful to my groupmates, as they are very much helpful and very understanding. And I learnt a lot today, from new words to new friend,(maybe, actually, a 'friend' of friend). haha.
New word for the day is twenteen: 12. haha. and LED can have a sound like gedek gedek. plus, can U imagine an LED give out sound like gedek gedek. ahaha. very exhausted day, but I'm enjoying every minute of it. ahh, about the new friend, it is not new friend, but I got to know a 'friend' whose before totally anonymous to me. as he is a special friend to my friend. hehe. I know u have guessed that. Ok.

Ok, next it, I don't know if this sound weird, but I'm not stressed, and I love it. Weird enough huh? Ok, I'm not that 'rajin'. and I miss my family, mom called this morning, and asked me to come home on January, but I got to work, so, I'll pack up my work, and go back. I know, I miss them damn much too. And most importantly, though we are making new friends with new worlds. adaption is something hard to be done, and can be as easy as ABC if learn the advantages and not the hurdles. Owh, this is for my beloved friend, iera, farah, faezah n asilah. hehe. seeu guys in Jnauary, or february, or march or, any month. hehe.

Wassalam. nk smbung buat kerja dah, xnk edit da entry nih, paham3 sendiri la yer.

My recent Wallpaper

2011-11-27T17:46:00.000+08:00

Rindu terlebih2 or kurang kasih sayang, haha

Kereta saya kat UTM

2011-11-27T17:40:00.000+08:00

Cuba teka umur saya berapa?

2011-11-26T17:31:00.000+08:00

Stay Up

2011-11-25T20:08:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum. Peace be upon you. Ameen.

for this entry, I wanna talk about stay up. Stay up in this context mean stays up late at night doing work. not watching movie or playing games something like that, that I used to do. but filling ur sleeping time with something good. Not to say that sleep is no good, but the brain is working hard during this hours instead of refreshing and get charged.

Firstly, I'm not used to this kind of stay up and I'm getting used to it, as being a postgraduate student is not as simple as I have imagining. and it is totally like 80% differences. And not to mention, I ever taught of continuing my study, but what I said when people asked why I'm furthering my studies, I just said I'm no luck in job and I don't feel like working. haha. Alasan tak berapa nak kukuh. Actually, when I think back, the reason why I further this is the opportunity to get double degree and the title of the degree is related to my interest. I like image processing, and we have to learn it in France, so, I'm very optimistic that I'll get to do this degree. I know it is from Allah wills, and I'm thankful to HIm. so, the job interviews that came after that, I totally not interested except for the opportunity in Singapore, though, it seems tough there, I taught about working there for 2-3 times. so, the rest I did cincai2, hoho. Kesian my parents. I'm sorry. Mianhe.

ok, back to the topic, when I'm this state, I have to adapt my little new life to this beautiful world and keep changing in phase. Syukur alhamdulillah, on the very first day of my classes, I met someone adorable and friendly and now she had become my best buddy here, and hopefully will always be. Thank you Allah to let me meet her. U know, when we are far away from those who loved us, we tend to find love and throw it to someone, so, this little friend of mine is getting much love, and I hope it will last forever, thank you Asmiza, and not to mentioned too that we have been spending our night together. haha. don't overused ur brains. we stayed up together to do assignment and revision la. aiyak.

So, this morning, I got morning sickness, and it is not usual for me, and she said that it is because we are not used to staying up. so, now, my head still uncontrollable, and feel the pening2 and berat kepala. to my readers, do u know of any of this sypmtoms, owh, btw, I stayed up till 3am last night, and woke up before 6am this morning, and got some sleep earlier this evening. and my head is still spinning, so, do u guys have any tips or remedy? I need that, got some more works to be finished. and I don't want to stay up at the very last minutes. Plus, I don't want to kacau her, as she got her life, and I got my life, so, when I wanna study, I will practically find her and asked her to get me to study with her. aiyak, farahana tak pandai bagi masa,

Ok, for that, I'm thinking of making used this opportunity, to let my body used and adapt to my 3-4hours sleeping time. and for that matter, do u guys have any comments or solution for my headache. Argh, sakit kepala la. and it is okay to get only 4-3 hours sleep at night, and sometime qada' the sleep to 6-7 hours when I have free time? I don't think it is good.

Okay, my essay for today will last here. and remember this thing, always be focused and always thanks God for what we have today for better or worst, as we don't know the hikmah of both sides.

see ya.

Holding back the tears

2011-11-17T16:39:00.001+08:00

I posted something in fb, then, I deleted it, I'm so emo in this kind of things, so not good, but then, there is one friend who came to me. and said this thing. I'm good again, now, I'm holding the tears, I don't have good relation with Allah, and it sounds better if I cry for him, instead crying for this fana life, thank you Ojah, I'm cheering up again, got to do some revision. see ya, and this is the tweets that made my day;

I named him Redza

2011-11-16T17:08:00.001+08:00

Okay, I have mental disorder this few days, but its okay, still can be controlled, and based on stability criteria, the poles are still in unit circle. Thanks God.

Ok, I'm thinking of getting married by this April, or next April. Haha, surprise, u don't? Ok, I know I used to do surprises, but this is my 1 of to do list, find the guy that I've named him as Redza, and kn0ws him, bring him to my parents, and get married, wah, can u see the planning, it is just easy as ABC. Don't u think so, but, the first part where I need to find may need infinite times to do that. Why? I'm no good with guy. I'm a little toddler in that field. Aiyak, so, the 2nd step, may takes 2 months or so. And for the last step, which is getting married, would be like 1 month. As my planned wedding in head is just simple as it is like what Rasulullah had encouraged us. Just a kenduri n walla. No need dress, photographer, or any sort of thing. But maybe bunga telurs is needed, it is a abidable tradition. Ok, If I can the guy in 2 months. I can get married by April, but if not, I may have to wait and find the guy in this 14months time. So, what do u think??

Haha, if the marriage is as simple as that, the will be no frustrated, or suicidal thingies. They get frustrated as the guy u r meeting, do have feeling, just as same as u, do have family, same as u. So, besides planning, doa is the most unforgetful thing to do. Why I want to get married by April, cause I have an appointment with my lovely friends and the pre-requisite is made mandatory by me only for me, haha.

Ok, Redza here, if it according to my taste, the face can be as good looking as Redza Minhat, as pious as Sham Kamikaze, loving as Yuna's boyfriend as seen in paper. and the lost goes down. So, I may not get married till death, haha. OK, got to finish my rambling.

ahh, not to mentioned, the mental disorders that I'm having right now is none related to this Redza guy, hahah.
It is all about my reality life. hoho. And, I'm coping with the real life now, pray for me, and this one is a gift for u guys who haven't seen me for a while, and I know u guys are girls, haha. I've given a title to my pic below, a Koya-eid pic by Nufa. The word "koya" means the feeling of I'm good, I'm beautiful and all that self-praised. So, excuse my feeling for a moment. Thanks.

ok, excuse me.
Assalamualaikum. Bonne soir! A plus tard!

Wake Up

2011-11-03T16:50:00.001+08:00

Salam n Bonjour!

Merci beaucop pour reading my blog. It is such an honour to me. Though I'm writing this for myself, others around me what is complete me, your thought and ideas are much2 appreciated. Merci bien.

The title for this blog is wake up. Yup, wake up Farahana form ur dream, this world will last, it is not forever everlasting. It is short term in ur life. U have to wake up and realize the reality u have been avoiding, though u seem tough outside, ur heart is made of glass, literally. Realization of the nonlinearity factors is not an easy task, there are many steps to be cope on. and it must be done in proper way. If u have learned engineering, u'll now better.

Wake up to the reality of life, people do come and go in ur life. They will not be always around u. and as a matter of fact, when u died, u bring nothing, except for ur deeds, and if u bring bad one more than good one, it is hard life after that. Allah is The One. and the statement will always be true no matter where u are, no matter how good ur life is, no matter whether u r married or not. Allah is The Only God in this world. be good to HIm, and ur life would be easier, and He likes compliment and those who love Him.

This entry is written to graphical shows my heart as of now, it is bit red with all the emotional feeling I had for these days. Missing my family damn much. And for the first time in this 2 months, I asked myself, why would I chose Johor where the farthest state to Kelantan where all my families are to further my study. And most importantly, why would I chose to do the double degree, though my heart is not that tough to be far away with my family and friends. I know, maybe I'm missing them damn much, that made me realized how important they are in my life. Though I'm getting new friends and new colleagues here, it will never be the same. I'm not the same anymore. I have to change with the flow and not to mention, a must is the flow that Prophet has taught us.

Now, as I'm older, facing new challenges. And realize a little bit, how hard is my parents had been raising us, till I'm 24. 24 years with all my songeh and what so ever, and not to mention too, I'm the most bad child, would even made my mom cry. Ya Allah, ampunilah dosaku ini. Ameen. I'm a sinner. I always taught, If I do the taubat now, and if I did the mistakes and sins again, would Allah forgive me for the nth time? Allah, would u forgive me? I'm a bad one. very2 bad one. I'm 24, and I Just realized that. sinful me, and there is time I wish I'll be dead faster than everyone so that I don't have to have the sad and sorrow feeling of people leaving me. How cruel I am. wish no one would cry over me?

Ya Allah, please help me, I am a sinner, and I will be once again in future, please keep me away from those sins in the future, I know I'm not that good in this life, show me the path. Ameen.

I guess, this is more like my letter to my Creator, not to me or anyone else to ponder.

My Version of Fairy Tale

2011-10-31T19:00:00.002+08:00

Yeah, it is my version; if u feel like throwing up after reading this, and hopefully u don't, make sure to prepare somethin beside u, ok?

My version of fairy tale will begin in autumn next year, and by the time I meant autum, I mean, I will be somewhere where there will be 4 seasons. InshaAllah, pray for me.

It started when I'm inBurgundy, France, where I'll be studying in a library, alone, and doing something good for myself, and listening to mp3 maybe. then, the tale begin;
A french guy, come to me, and ask for the song that I am listening to. And I would say, it is "L'heure avait sonné by Joyce Jonathan". And I would ask him back, why would u want to know for the song title. Off course I'm curious. An unknown-tall-and-romantic-french guy with handsome voice come up to me ask for the song that I'm lsitening. And I would die to know the answer. And he just smile and walk away. U can imagine how depress I am, right? but, I would be happy, as no one ever ask me in other country what I'm listening to. SO, the day passes by.

Next day is holiday, and I would be in market to buy some groceries. and off course, I would be walking to the mart which is 1km away from my hostel. On my way back, I saw that guy talking to other guy with their eyes loooking at me. That time, I swear, I would run as fast as I can as I would not want any bad thinking I'm having to be happening. At night, All I did is thinking what that french guy had told his friend. I'm dying to know. AS u know, foreign people don't talk to other. They seem don't care.

The next day, I went to library and sitting at a very open space with a lot of people. Though, I Don't like that place, I would rather sit at everyone could see if anything bad would happen to me. And unfortunately, after 15minutes or so, the french guy came and sit next to me. ANd my heart beat goes pumping hard, like 200bps wohoo. What am I suppose to be doing? what???

After he had settled down, he gives me piece of written paper. OK, what would this be? do u guys wanted to know? I am too.

Bonjour Mademoiselle, I'm sorry If this letter would or I am disturbing ur studying. But, everyday, since the day I met u in this library, I went crazy, I came as early as possible here to just see u studying with ur smiling face. And u would care for no one, u just did what u seem happy to be doing. Everyday, I'm longing for ur smiling face. And I can sleep soundly when I went to bed. I know this might disturb ur feeling and I may bcome a pervert in ur eyes. But I do hve to tell u . and by the way, did u know that I've been listening to the song u've told me, and it made my day. Thus, as we are in library, I would rather write it down to ask u;

Would u marry me?

WHAT?? I close my mouth when I read the last part. Off course this french guy is crazy enough right? I'm not that beautiful, and I'm not that good looking either. What did he sees me as he would rather ask me straight away that beautiful question that I've been longing to come to me and I would answer Yes, as soon as possible. But now, the answer should be different. I wrote something in the same paper, with my not-that- beautiful-and-still-in-shocked handwriting.

I would say yes, if u can accomplish this three simple yet for me steps;

1. U skype with my parents and ask them the same literally question.

2. U learn a little bit about Islam and understand at least the word "AllahuAkbar"

3. Went to a Muslim guy, and ask him, the greatness of marriage life in Islam.

Then, I would say yes if u can accomplish this and still had the urge to ask me the big question. Would u do that? And one more question is, what have u been talking to ur friend the other day?

Ok, I guess the fairy tsle will stop here for now, as I don't know whether it still will be a fairy tale to me if I hear the answer of this romantic-tall-and-down-to-earth french guy. I would continue if I got the answer for this fairy tale.

Collection of Convo'11

2011-10-30T10:38:00.000+08:00

The compilation is yet to be uploaded, the internet is so slow. Thus, I pre-show the collection of it.

Raya thn 2011- tada!

2011-10-26T18:52:00.000+08:00

Friends

2011-10-19T13:30:00.000+08:00

IN the convocation, last week, I got back my friend, Farah Izam. and I'me very grateful, somehow, I lost a truly valuable friend of mine, Kak Diyana, and she gone peacefully. But the ungrateful things is, I don't take time to ask how is she doing, after the last minutes, I found out about her. Ya Allah. Please forgive all the sins that she had done and bless her with a solehah daughter. InshaAllah. But, I'm very sure, she is happy there. She is very close to me once. And she had given me a lot of think to ponder and think about. May she rest in peace. Now, she don't have to suffer the treatment anymore.

And back to Farah Izam, she is my long lost friend who had not talked to me since my 2nd year, and there had been a well of tears for that reason. And I'm very much thank you to Allah, as she had talked to me after that sorrowful moment. And she even fixed my mortar board during the convocation. Ya Allah. I am very much thankful to you. Farah IZam, if u read this, I've forgiven all the sorrow time u had given me and hopefully u've done the same to me. And may only happiness and bless from God comes between us. Syukur alhamdulillah.

And, I've decided to put up some pictures of those two friends I'm talking about, so that, I'll remember them someday in the future. and one more time, Thank you Allah for giving me such wonderful friends around me,
And to iera, faezah, farah and asilah, when can we we meet? and I'm longing to see iera near future, as I don't really understand her tweets, unless when she did the ads or tweet in English. And Farah, good luck with ur pregnancy, may we get a beautiful niece or nephew. hehe. faezah, when will i get the treat, and asilah, don't keep more secret, it will consume u.