1. to help stamp out loneliness

2. to show God we’re listening

Hospitality is amazing because of these two good things: helping to eliminate loneliness and obeying God. “Be hospitable” isn’t a suggestion. God’s commands are for our good, so it’s good when we listen and follow through.

But there are many more good things. You might call them “purely selfish” though I wonder about pure and selfish in the same sentence. Let’s call them: singularly and wonderfully good for all mankind, starting with you.

Here’s my list—feel free to add to it. We could start a club: “Doing Hospitality for Wonderfully Selfish Reasons” and charge dues to underwrite the extra potato in the soup or second bag of Orange Chicken from Trader Joe’s.

10 Purely Selfish and Wonderful Benefits to Doing Hospitality

1. You clean things and places you didn’t realize needed cleaning (they may, I’m not sure.) And a child learns to polish silver.
2. You try out new recipes. People are too polite to say it’s not their favorite, and you get to use up odd ingredients in your pantry. (Odd, not old.)
3. Your husband may wash windows or mow the lawn without you asking (especially if they are his friends or his boss.)
4. You get to taste the best recipes that your guests bring. Why make a Chess Pie when Mama Marian makes the best Chess Pie?
5. You make your guests feel so good, stabling any wavering self-esteem, when you insist on taking seconds of their one-in-a-million Chess Pie. After all, you are only doing it to make them feel good — purely unselfish.
6. You rearrange the furniture to fit everyone in. Afterwards you can’t remember how it used to look, but that’s the great thing: you like the new look. Moving furniture is therapeutic. Note: Keep Advil on hand.
7.  Your kids behave better, often. (No guarantees)
8. Your kids’ friends—especially the male sort—are willing to take orders from you and do things like move tables, wash dishes, put away Christmas decorations from last year. They want to impress the mother. (Ask quietly or your daughters will yell at you. I know this.)
9. The leftovers are divine! And the next evening, if your husband brings home a visiting psychiatrist from Chicago who is interviewing for a job, you already have the food. Just add a fresh spinach salad and everyone is happy (you might get a free couch session if you’re lucky.)
10. Strangers become friends, friends become better friends, and you know it was all worthwhile.

Try it sometime. Let me know how it goes. You’ll be amazed and encouraged. I don’t think that’s selfish.

If not convinced yet of the benefits of doing hospitality for yourself, you that God uses it for His glory (and of course, that makes you feel awfully good, too.)

God uses our imperfect hospitality to remind us that He’s doing the real work. We join Him in a good story that’s already in progress.

Here’s your Welcome to Fall gift:

Sue’s Relaxing Recipes – “If I can make it, so can you. Honest.”

The post Two Grand Benefits to Doing Hospitality, Plus Ten More Purely Selfish Ones appeared first on welcomeheart.com.

Are you someone who easily praises God, no matter what’s going on in your life? Or, are you more like me – I keep waiting for God to say “Yes” on something and holding out on thanking him until he does? Today we have speaker, author, Wendy Speake and we’re going to be talking about her legacy as well as her newly released book – a book that may need to be on our Christmas lists: A Sacrifice of Praise and Thanksgiving: 30 Days of Rejoicing in God’s Goodness

Those of us who have known God most of our lives can still have the stance of: “I will pray and see how God answers and then I can’t wait to praise him” instead of praising him anyway, all the time, for who he is and how he loves us and directs us even if all hell has broken loose on our lives or on the lives of the ones we love.

Wendy’s new book is an invitation and I love a good invitation – and this one is one I’m hoping all of our listeners will RSVP to as a hearty yes! Here’s the invite:

“This book is an invitation to discover the power of thanksgiving and praise, not because life is easy, but because God is always worthy. When we fix our eyes on His goodness, we find strength, peace, and joy even in the middle of difficult circumstances.”

Wendy closes with a short explanation of her three legacy Bibles for her three boys.

Wendy closes with a short explanation of her three legacy Bibles for her three boys. A note from her:

“I think the secret to not being overwhelmed with my legacy Bibles is that I do not have a timeline that I’ve set. When I am inspired, I open them up. Whether there are 30 prayers in the margins, or 3000, I am leaving legacy, both in written form and in effective prayers that have been prayed.”

Check it out here on her website. And scroll down to “Scripture-Inspired Prayers.”

Some gems from our conversation:

• It’s in the valley that we discover how good God is and that he’s all we’ve ever needed all along.
• Because of Jesus we get the privilege of walking into God’s presence to thank and praise him.
• A sacrifice of praise is costly when in the valley of tears because we give all that we have whether or not we feel like praising.
• Praising God helped me in my journey of healing so that I became alive again with hope and joy.
• To go on an “Ask Fast” means I’m trusting God to be the Savior of the world instead of telling him who needs saving.
• A 30-Day “Ask Fast” is where we set aside our petitions, maybe only for a month, and just praise God for who he is.
• A sacrifice of praise is giving something when you don’t think you have enough. And God takes that kind of offering.
• The more I put my attention on what I know is true about God, the more my affection for God grows.
• My legacy is to intercede for my children in accordance with God’s Word.

A giveaway this week of your latest book so be sure to comment on social media or send me an email at sue@welcomeheart.com

Website: https://wendyspeake.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WendyJSpeake/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wendy_speake

The post Ep 283 Thirty Days of Praise and Thanksgiving Because of Who God Is with Wendy Speake appeared first on welcomeheart.com.

When young, my mom told me to wear white shoes in summer and black shoes in winter. Weather and seasons informed how we dressed. (She was from Kansas. She forgot we lived in California.)  I get it. She was trying to raise me “proper.” I remember the wild day I talked her into buying me green shoes.

Also, I was a redhead and redheads didn’t wear red. (According to Mom.) Or pink. Never pink. I let my hair inform my actions. Nowadays it’s different. You never know what color you’ll find on head or body. It doesn’t matter. A wild generation, mom might say. Though maybe not. In heaven, she’s getting all the colors in all the seasons.

My friend, Denise, retired from nursing, moved to France and began painting. She saw this photo on FB:

I know. Orange and a little purple.

Then she sent this painting to me. You never know how you’ll look with blue hair on sheet music until you try it.

I wear orange because I’m a red head. (Actually, I wear what fits on body and in budget.) So what do I mean?

I mean my identity informs my actions. In the same way, as a Christ-follower I need to live out of my Christ-given identity.

I’m a believer so I want to look and act like one. After all, integration of truth and behavior is the best version of apologetics.

If you follow Jesus, this is who we are:

Loved

Forgiven

Chosen

Sent

Called

Transformed

His

Found

Unique

Free (to wear any color!)

What difference does it make? All and everything:

I am loved unconditionally, so I must love others unconditionally

I am forgiven, so I must forgive as God’s forgiven me

I am chosen, so I live strong

I am sent, so I must go

I am called, so I must not stew about my purpose

I am transformed, so I must look like Jesus

I am His, so I must rest in my belongingness

I am found, so I must feel valued

I am unique, so I must not compare

I am free, so I must use my freedom for His kingdom

Who I am in Christ, my truest self, must inform my behavior.

I’m convinced that most of life’s problems could be solved by embracing an accurate picture of God and of myself. Warp just a little on either, and life warps.

God’s Son knew who He was but He wants to make sure we know. “Who do you say I am?” Jesus queried.

“You are the Christ,” the disciples replied. His friends got it even though it took a while to live like they got it.

The integration of who I am into how I live is a lifelong process. One I want to start today (again) and practice the rest of my years.

What identity do you forget about as shown by how you are feeling and acting today?

Today I want to remember: I am loved. And that makes all the difference.

::::::::::::::::

15 Scripture cards for parents

The post How Identity Informs Our Actions: Let God Tell You Who You Are appeared first on welcomeheart.com.

Becky writes:

 “For years, I thought my anxiety meant I was failing God–I believed if I just prayed harder, trusted more, or worked smarter, I could fix it. But I learned that Jesus isn’t asking me to prove anything—He’s inviting me to come, just as I am.”

The theme of today’s podcast is we can have peace in anxiety because we are not alone; Jesus is with us. Be encouraged as you listen and share with someone who may need this timely reminder.

Some gems from today’s podcast:

• I’m so prone to striving; peace comes from knowing Jesus is carrying the weight and leading the way forward.
• Often anxiety stems from feelings of not having enough or not being enough.
• My anxiety is a gift in the way God has used it as a vehicle for him to draw me closer to himself.
• This book came from the message God had been writing in me for years.
• Anxiety is a continuum from everyday fears to debilitating stress and worry.
• We need to go for support when our anxiety hits one of these two aspects: How severe? and How persistent?
• Self-care is not selfish.
• You can know that the way you feel today is not always going to feel this way.
• If your closest friend was feeling the way you feel when you are most anxious, what would you tell her to do? Do that for yourself.

Becky Keife is a Bible teacher, speaker, and author of books and Bible studies. Her newest release is a 100-day devotional: A Verse a Day for the Anxious Soul. Becky is passionate about helping people hear God’s voice, embrace their true identity, and see God’s kindness even when life is messy. As a mental health advocate, Becky equips individuals and churches to understand anxiety biblically and experience Jesus wholly. She loves long naps, puffy clouds, and shady trails. Becky lives in Southern California with her husband and three always-hungry teenage sons.

website: https://www.beckykeife.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beckykeife/

The post Ep 282 Peace For the Anxious Soul with Becky Keife appeared first on welcomeheart.com.

Adult children—a conundrum, no?

I’m not sure when I crossed over from Parenting Those Little Ones Who Obviously Need All the Help They Can Get—to—I’m Still Your Parent But I Guess You Don’t Really Want To Hear Every Wise Thought That Crosses My Brain.

What happened? And when??

My sister, Lori, told me the job of parenting adult children makes you walk a very thin line. It’s easy to misstep one way or the other. I’ve almost fallen headfirst more than once.

Someone said she had two rules for parenting her adult boys: keep your mouth shut and your wallet open.

I laughed. My kids were young. Now, I have three young adult daughters whom I adore. They are smart, hard-working, so very funny,  kind, adventurous, and a joy to be around—mostly—depending on the phases of the moon, the weather, the dog—who knows? We are women, even the dog, and the Man-in-Plaid hangs in there, Praise the Lord.

Thankfully, God gives me handrails as I walk this line. One obvious one is that my wallet only opens so far. The other has everything to do with my mouth—closed or open. Here are some basics:

-speak the truth in love (never forget the last two words)

-use only words that build up, not tear down

-lay aside all anger and abusive speech

-let your words always be with grace

-silence can be golden, and often preferred

That’s just a start, but plenty to work on as I dig in my wallet.

Needing handrails? I do.  God’s Word is my guardrail—it keeps me on track as a parent as I keep it in my heart and mind.

FAR AS IT DEPENDS ON YOU (AND GOD)

For those of you who have suddenly found yourself in the broken-eggshell world of parenting (sort-of, kind-of, emerging) adult children, you may need God’s Word more than ever. I forget my girls are no longer three years old, and when I do forget, they are quick to remind me.

Sometimes it hurts my feelings. Sometimes I hurt feelings back (I am three years old.)

The first verse that came to mind was: Pick your battles. (Isn’t that a verse?) Actually, stop your battles.

Your little ones are now big people and you can’t control their responses, their reactions, their lives. You can only control your own life, with God’s help.

Here’s a good one.  “As far as it depends on me, I will live at peace with all people” (Romans 12:18). I list 15 Scriptures for Parentng Adult Children below. I can also send you a printable and now I have Scripture cards for you to tuck in places where you may come across them in the night like where you stash the peanut M&M’s and Lay’s BBQ chips.

Some Scriptures below refer to what we pray for our kids; others deal with how we are to act and live “alongside” our new grown-up’s who look a little bit like us, but not altogether.

15 SCRIPTURES FOR PARENTING ADULT CHILDREN*

I listed 15 verses so you can choose one a day and then, halfway through the month, start again. Or, pick a favorite and put it to memory. If you’re an emerging old person (like me) you may have trouble sleeping—reciting God’s word in the night can be the best Tylenol PM.

And of course, If you don’t find your special verse, feel free to share yours in comments.

1. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

2. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15: 9-13

3. No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33:16-22

4. Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:1-2

5. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15

6. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge–that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:18-19

7. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:14-18

8. Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15

9. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. I Thessalonians 5:11

10. The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:4

11. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5

12. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whohave been called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:26-28

13. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. James 3:17-18

14. For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. II Corinthians 10:3-5

15. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. John 17:15

PS Coleridge isn’t Scripture, but a good word nevertheless:

*For a printable, click here.

*For a set of small Scripture cards, click here.

The post God’s Word for Parenting Adult Children Well appeared first on welcomeheart.com.

Have you been surprised, perhaps, disappointed with the trials, twists and turns your life has taken whether it be illness, estrangement, grief or even infertility? Is facing one or more of those things with joy and peace and strength only a matter of rethinking your thinking?

Today our guest is Angela Mackey – an RN, mother of 3 and of a fairly recent orphan; her passion is encourage others to worship though the Word and glorify God with their daily lives.

Some gems from our conversation:

• Changing our thought life through the Word leads to living a life of worship.
• As we think, so we are and so we do.
• I used to think that if I lived a certain good life, God was obliged to bless me. I needed to rethink my thinking.
• I had to ask myself: Do I want to know God better for who he is or just focus on how he’s working in my life?
• God is bigger than any conflict or confusion in our minds and hearts.
• I was able to admit I’m mad at God but I still really needed him nearby.
• Having a child doesn’t solve all the feelings of infertility.
• Understanding the Word shows us how to live.
• If I never have a child, I can ask God: “What are other ways I can nurture? How can I pour into the next generation?”
• Life is more than motherhood.

Leave a comment or email me at sue@welcomeheart.com to be entered to win a copy of Difficult to Conceive.

Angela loves coming alongside people and helping them rethink their thinking through Scripture so they can experience God’s transforming power. On her podcast Life as Worship, she and her guests share honest stories of wrestling with God’s Word and living it out in real life. Angela brings joy, laughter, and a light touch to even the hardest conversations

https://angelamackey.com/about-angela/

https://www.youtube.com/Rethinking_My_Thinking

https://www.facebook.com/AngelaMackeyChristianSpeaker

instagram.com/rethinking_my_thinking

FREE 9-day Devotional based on Philippians 4:8.

The post Ep 281 Rethinking Your Thinking with Angela Mackey appeared first on welcomeheart.com.

Do you let God redirect your invitations? Surprising? Startling? Maybe, but always a blessing.

When we listen well to his Holy Spirit, we invite the next person he brings our way. The surprise can be who else may come along that you didn’t expect. Trusting God for a redirected guest list can be a great test of faith or simply a way to live surprised by God. We just think we’re in charge. But we’re not.

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”

Proverbs 16:9

I prayed about inviting new friends for dinner. Finally, we got it on the calendar. I added another couple. Everyone offered to bring something. The table set, the food almost ready to pull out of the oven, when I got a text. “Hi, Sue, I know this is how you work, but wanted to clue you in we are bringing an extra guest. He’s our former foreign exchange student, Javier. You’ll love him. And don’t worry, I’ll bring extra ice cream.”

I chuckled a little and quickly added an extra place and chair, and thanked the Lord I wasn’t serving pork chops or hamburgers—one per person. The advantage of a tried-and-true 9×13 casserole with extra cheese is it makes room for not you’re your guests but even a surprise treat. I would have enough for a guest of a guest. Gratified that my new friend considered me someone with a big heart—especially for guests from other countries—still, I wondered: What if I didn’t have a casserole with extra cheese or enough potatoes or green beans to go around? Would my low-maintenance husband, Mark, have to go without? He would, with no problem. I shook my head a little and remembered that even if I thought I knew the future, even a simple dinner party in the very near future, I really never knew what might happen. But I knew the One who did and that was enough. And he would make it enough for whoever showed up at our table.

Have you ever invited a friend for coffee and they say, “Hey! Can I bring Aunt Claire from Eau Claire?!”

Wait a minute! you think, I invited you, not Auntie Claire from Eau Claire! But of course, you don’t say that. You want your home to be an inviting one. On the other hand, it can throw you off just like my sister was thrown off when a surprise storm took out the electricity twenty minutes before her company arrived. Instead of baked chicken, they ate outside with big salads and an even bigger charcuterie board! Surprises can come in all different ways.

Do you let your guests bring guests? It takes grace, and hospitality is nothing if it’s not grace.

I found this little towel at the thrift shop. It read:

“Guests of Guests May Not Bring Guests”

A cute towel. I bought the towel. But deep down, I knew it wasn’t true.

A surprise additional guest could be a problem if you have just-enough-fried-chicken-to-go-round, though I know my Man-in-Plaid would forego his chicken and eat more bread. But you may not live with someone so easygoing, and you may not have another can of beans to go in the pot.

A last minute guest might be an issue. I can see that. But I don’t agree with my new towel.

Mainly because Jesus would’ve made it happen. No matter what. He’s a “no matter what” kind of God. If He asks me to add a chair, He gives the grace and the chair or room on the couch.

I found a ginormous couch at that same thrift store. We can play six-on-the-couch fairly easily, maybe seven. It was meant for me. And for the women who come into my front room on any given night and find room on the couch. And hopefully hear a little word about Jesus.

John the Baptist talked about Jesus long before he met him but when he did he talked loud enough for others to hear.

“John was there again with two of his disciples. ‘Look, the Lamb of God!’ When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus” (John 1:35ff)

That’s all it took. One short statement. There he is—the One we’ve been waiting for! And they followed.

But the inviting didn’t stop there.

^“Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus. The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, ‘We have found the Messiah’ (that is, the Christ). And he brought him to Jesus.” (vs.40-42)

I love that. The first thing Andrew did was to bring his brother to Jesus. Not the second thing. Not an afterthought. He understood Jesus was the One to follow, and he knew Peter needed to know.

Andrew brought Peter and we don’t know the number of those Peter brought although we get a hint in Acts 2 when over 3,000 souls accepted and came into the Kingdom. They were those “guests of guests” and heaven was all ready for them.

   John the Baptist talked loud enough for others to hear who Jesus was.

   Andrew listened and followed and invited his brother.

   God changed the world through Peter.

   Sounds like guests of guests are more than welcome.

What if Jesus were on His way to your home, and He called ahead: “Sue, I’m bringing an extra, actually twelve extra!” What would you say?

First off, I’m grateful he would ask. And I hope I’d say, “You bet!”

Be encouraged. If he gives you the guest, he’ll give you the grace. And maybe an old couch in good condition that seats six. Or seven.

Becoming a woman of welcome means we make room, no matter what. God’s got a welcoming heart. I want one like His.

God’s invitation can come through your invitation. He set it up that way. Someone invited you and me to follow Jesus.

1. Do you think of your hosting as something God uses to introduce guests to his table?

2. Like Andrew, who immediately brought his brother to Jesus, is there someone in your life you could invite to “come and see” this week?

3. Would God need to make changes in your heart or your kitchen—or both—for you to trust him for guests he brings?

Invite for Heaven’s Sake

This week, when you extend an invitation, leave room for a plus-one before anyone even asks. Set an extra place, or simply say, “Feel free to bring a friend” and then trust God to supply the grace, and the casserole to go around.

Pray with me:

Lord, thank you for the privilege of extra guests at our table. Please help my heart be as big as my couch. Thank you for saving room at Your table for me. Amen.

“Then the master told his servant, ‘Go out to the roads and country lanes
and compel them to come in, so that my house will be full.’”

Luke 14:23

The post Let God Redirect Your Hospitality: A Matter of Trust and Blessing appeared first on welcomeheart.com.

Andrea Stunz has multiple lifetimes of stories that could be shared, but the stories that will likely pop up are those of living abroad and moving often (currently at her 30th address), travel/adventure, surviving betrayal in marriage, and taking care of her body over the last year – and today we get to spend a little time on each.

Andrea, married for 37 years, now divorced, shares experience and hope for the betrayed spouse, and her best wisdom is summed up with this: you don’t have to walk alone. Part of healing after betrayal trauma is to figure out who you really are. Andrea shares that her life was hidden under just trying to cope and manage. She didn’t even know her favorite ice cream. She does now! It’s strawberries and cream. (:

Some gems from our conversation:

• You can leave a generational blessing rather than one of brokeness and betrayal.
• To take care of yourself—body, soul, and spirit—is part of biblical stewardship.
• Learn to make boundaries of protection vs fences.
• When tunneling downward emotionally, turn to the Psalms and write them out. It’s a way of inviting God into your story.
• I’m grateful for who I’ve become through these struggles and I know and love Jesus more than ever before.
• Don’t isolate when faced with a broken marriage; healing is streamlined when you find others of faith who are experiencing the same situation.
• If we continue to blame others or focus on getting our needs met competely by others, we may be still in the victim-mindset, which hinders our growth process.
• Satan gets a stronghold when we stay isolated in our pain.
• Go to the Word and to a community. Please don’t feel you have to walk alone.
• Whatever we end up going through, if we choose faith, if we choose Jesus, we will see that he will be a part of our story and we are part of his.
• Part of healing after betrayal trauma is to figure out who you really are. My life was hidden under just trying to cope and manage.

AndreaStunz.com

Substack

FB @AndreaStunz

IG @AndreaStunz

The post Ep 280 You Don’t Have to Walk Alone with Andrea Stunz appeared first on welcomeheart.com.

From over 20 years of speaking on the subject, I’ve heard the broken-record-number-one-reason we don’t do hospitality is because of our homes.

And, the same-song-second-verse-reason we don’t do hospitality is because of our culinary skills—or lack-of. Or, we’d rather be reading a book and not be in the kitchen.

Actually, we could be in the kitchen but only if we have a comfortable stool on which to sit, drink coffee and read a book.

These two reasons: our homes, our cooking—is why we don’t—at least, we think that’s why we don’t—do hospitality.

Our too-small, too-chaotic, too-unfinished homes don’t measure up to Martha, and we think that’s why we keep our too-out-of-date door closed.

Or, it’s the food—a life-and-death issue (we think.)

We don’t want to be accused of attempted murder from serving Aunt Mae’s baked bean casserole which seemed fine when made in Aunt Mae’s kitchen by Aunt Mae, but alas, her recipe from your hands creates a probable crime scene you don’t want to be a part of.

You’d rather not put another guest at risk (or waste valuable reading time) by figuring out the ratio of dry-pasta-to-cooked. Should you double it or triple? Do you throw it on the wall to test doneness or throw the whole thing out and call for a spaghetti truce and take-out?

Our homes, our food—keep us from inviting—but are these really the reasons?

Do we dare look closer—not at dirty baseboards nor our refrigerator stocked with ingredients-not-meals. Rather, an underground glance finds me squirming due to pride and fear.

Pride hides easily (we think) behind: “Oh, you don’t want to come to my house. It’s too small. Too cluttered. Too kid-friendly. Too not-kid-friendly.”

Fear simmers with: “My house will never look like Angela’s or Diane’s. Someday it might when I win the lottery or I get a raise. I don’t want others thinking I have no taste, no housekeeping abilities, no money to make it look nicer and cleaner. I don’t want to be judged. I don’t want to feel less-than.”

Pride and fear go hand-in-hand. I’m too proud for others to see who I really am. I’m too afraid I will lose my friends, my reputation, my self-esteem.

Does it matter to your kids’ friends that your couch is too shabby and should be picked up at the next available “large item free trash pick up” day? At one time I looked at my furniture and realized I would need to sew all my throws together to cover my couch before inviting anyone over. Or, I could just not host. That was an option. I could choose that option.

My friend, Diane, mom of five daughters kept a full-sized ping pong table in their living room. I asked, “Why, Diane? I love ping pong but, the living room? We had two ping pong tables. Outside.”

She replied, “I want our girls’ friends to come over and play ping pong. I want their friends to feel welcome when they see the table inside the house.” She may have added, “I want to know where they are.” (She has beautiful daughters.)

I’ve yet to put a ping pong table inside our house. But I see her point. Her house was meant to serve, not to show off.

That’s it. That’s why we do hospitality. To serve.

Does it make a difference to your guests that you “Cater by Costco” instead of slave for three days leading up to a dinner party, and sweat the day-of: measuring, sifting (honestly, who sifts? I haven’t sifted since 1978)—sifting, baking, skimming, marinating, roasting, testing and tasting and decide that Martha was right: she just needed a little cooperation. She cried out to Jesus in a very non-subtle, sister-incriminating and Lord-incriminating way: “TELL MARY TO GET OVER HERE, LORD. DON’T YOU CARE? I NEED HELP! (Luke 10:40)

(I don’t think she said, PLEASE.)

What Martha didn’t realize was that sitting with Jesus was the main dish. Her main dish was secondary. And all my main dishes are secondary, as well, to what God really has in mind for my hospitality.

Do I invite people over to serve them or to show-off my great house and hosting skills?

Do I even think about what my guests’ needs could be?

Their real need is to RSVP to God’s invitation. To sit with Jesus. Which could begin with your invitation.

Serving vs. Showing-off—both start with S but they’re worlds apart. Jesus came to serve although He had the most to show-off.

 

What God has in mind is this:

“Come to Me all those who labor and need rest: (Matthew 11:28).

What God has in mind is this:

“Let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace to receive mercy and find grace in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).

What God has in mind is this:

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to clease us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9).

What God has in mind is this:

“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters… come, buy wine and milk without honey and without cost” (Isaiah 55:1).

I need to change my mind to match His and, open my door in spite of my home—not because of my home. To invite people in for Costco pizza and ice cream and Oreos—not a 7-course meal.

I haven’t sifted flour since 1978. My guests do not care.

What does God have in mind for our hospitality? For people to experience a life-changing encounter with the Ultimate Host.

Jesus said, “..whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life” and He said it to a woman. (John 4:14) A spring of water welling up to eternal life—I’d call that a life-changing encounter.

We don’t change the life. We invite to bring on the encounter, to build a bridge to the Life-giver. Not a bad life-purpose.

Because of our invitation from our loving, holy God,  our mindset can always be: “Come on over. I want you more than I want a clean house. Don’t mind the dog hair. It’s a little chilly, here’s a blanket. Now, how have you being doing? Do you want tea or coffee?”

Why do we really not do hospitality? Is it our homes or our cooking? Or just a mindset thing?

We’re too worried what others think. We don’t want to be judged. We don’t want to bother. We don’t want to take a risk.

Sounds like fear and worry and pride—and you know where those come from. Not from a spring of water welling up..

Hospitality begins in the heart and mind and I want my heart like His.

Never let the state of your house rule over the state of your welcoming heart.

God’s got a hospitality mindset. I wrote about it here.

Lauren invited twenty ladies over for her “Special Spaghetti” and I got to share about the 17 Reasons Why We Don’t Do Hospitality (and One Reason to Do It Anyway. A blast and blessing and I made her simple recipe for my Man-in-Plaid—a keeper—the man and the recipe.

You don’t need to invite twenty.  One is good. Start with one.

Here you go. It’s simple and delicious and hearty and can be prepared in advance (always a lifesaving proposition.)

The post Our Homes, Our Food—Keep Us From Inviting—Or, Are Those the Real Reasons? (I Haven’t Sifted Since 1978) appeared first on welcomeheart.com.

When you began to follow Christ did you ever think: I could never be a missionary—that’s not my thing. My thing is more in tech areas and tech areas aren’t in the Bible—why would God want me to serve? I think I’d best sit on the sidelines and give my offering on a regular basis!

Today we get to hear from my friend, Greg Johnson, an electronic and computer engineer – a friend who reminded me sits on the opposite end of the same pew most Sundays but it’s funny how we don’t talk all that often. Too busy talking to other people!

Greg and his wife Bonnie have 4 grown daughters. He grew up with a dad who modeled serving God and the church in practical ways, and Greg went along with him to sweep the leaves and clear the gutters at their local church. When he knew he wanted to become an engineer, his pastor thought he should go to Bible school instead. But Greg knew even then how God had wired him and he came on up to Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo, met his wife Bonnie in college leadership at our very own Grace Central Coast. When he retired 6 years ago from a very stressful job at the local nuclear power plant, Greg discovered even more ways to serve his Savior.

Hear his story and be encouraged!

Some gems from our conversation:

• It’s such a blessing to give a gift to others that they could never repay—just like God giving us His Son, Jesus.
• Building homes in Mexico alongside all generations has taught me the importance and joy of building all sorts of new relationships.
• What’s fun about serving God is that you don’t have to be a pastor or a missionary; you just serve God with the gifts he’s given you.
• Samaritan’s Purse shows people during a crisis that God hasn’t forgotten them.
• I find joy in serving God outside the four walls of the church.
• I’m in my happy place with I get to use my skill-set to help others and it’s made me bolder in sharing the Gospel.
• I’ve cried more with my 4 girls since working Samaritan’s Purse than all their years growing up. God’s given me a new heart of compassion.
• I’ve mostly been to conflict zones so I can’t give a lot of details but it’s been amazing to work alongside all kinds of nationalities, professions and generations.
• Helping people is the bridge to sharing the Gospel.
• If you want to try something different and that will build your compassion, check out Samaritan’s Purse.

The post Ep 279 An Engineer With a Servant Heart with Greg Johnson appeared first on welcomeheart.com.