Welcome to Uno Acres

If At First You Don't Succeed

2010-06-02T17:12:00.000-05:00

There's always a way to fix it.

We're still working on the dining room and we've made some huge steps forward. One of those was to finally get the tile in our entry foyer grouted. Unfortunately, once again, things didn't turn out quite as advertised.

We picked a nice charcoal grout color. Let me be honest here - I have two Labrador Retrievers. It doesn't matter WHAT color grout we use, it will be dirt color eventually. I barely have the time to brush my dogs' teeth. I most certainly don't have the time or desire to use a toothbrush on my grout to keep it white.

Anyway, back to the charcoal grout. As you can see, the color we picked and the color we got are vastly different.

Now there's a good possibility that it was user error, but nevertheless, if I wanted cement between my tiles, I would have asked for cement.

So we set out to find some options to correct it. They do make grout dyes, but not only did that seem sort of drastic, but a quick check of all the flooring stores in our area revealed that if you live in a 20 mile range of our house, the only color you can "dye" your grout is white or almond.

However, one of the stores had some tile enhancer and it said that it would slightly change the color of natural tile and grout to the color that it appears when it is wet (in other words, it's not going to change white grout to black, but there's a good chance that it would change my cement grout to charcoal.) We didn't have to worry about it changing the tile itself since it's ceramic and wouldn't absorb it.

And just in case anyone wants to enhance their tile or grout, this is the product - TEC Ensealant.

It was easy to apply with a paintbrush

And then 10 minutes later, I wiped it off and like magic . . .

. . . we have the charcoal grout we were supposed to have.

I love magic.

We May Wobble But We Won't Fall Down

2010-05-27T00:55:00.000-05:00

Most people use a matchbook or a piece of cardboard when their table wobbles.

Not us.

We use a level.

Work is progressing nicely on the dining room and home office. I said nicely, not quickly. The ceiling is done, wiring is done and the fan and light are installed.

The new walls have been drywalled, primed, and painted, some trim has been installed, and the flooring has been put in. The cabinets in the office are have also been installed, but we are waiting to hear from the installer for the desktop.

There's still a good amount of work to do, but we should be able to complete it in the next couple of weeks.

But one thing is sure - our dining room table is not going to wobble.

There's an App for That

2010-05-26T20:00:00.001-05:00

I got my new iPad. It's awesome.

Its awesomeness is increased tenfold in that I used it in the kitchen to make a recipe that not only was healthy and incredibly delicious, but also used some of that darn mystery phyllo dough that I found in my freezer.

I can't even tell you how good this recipe tasted.

So instead, I'll just share the recipe with you.

Phyllo Chicken Potpie

6 cups water
2 cups fresh pearl onions (I used a jar of cocktail onions)
1-1/2 pounds boneless skinless chicken breasts, cubed
2 tablespoons canola oil, divided
2 medium red potatoes, peeled and chopped
1 cup sliced fresh mushrooms (ick, no one in my house likes mushrooms but add them if you must)
1 can (14-1/2 ounces) reduced-sodium chicken broth
1/2 pound fresh asparagus, trimmed and cut into 1-inch pieces
3 tablespoons sherry or additional reduced-sodium chicken broth
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 cup fat-free milk
1-1/2 teaspoons minced fresh thyme
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
10 sheets phyllo dough (14 inches x 9 inches)
Refrigerated butter-flavored spray

Directions:

In a Dutch oven, bring water to a boil. Add pearl onions; boil for 3 minutes. Drain and rinse in cold water; peel and set aside. (Note: if you use a jar of cocktail onions, you can skip this step entirely)
In a large skillet, cook chicken in 1 tablespoon oil over medium no longer pink; remove and keep warm. In the same pan, saute potatoes in remaining oil for 5 minutes. Add onions and mushrooms; saute 3 minutes longer. Add the broth, asparagus and sherry or additional broth. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 5 minutes or until potatoes are tender.
Combine cornstarch and milk until smooth; stir into skillet. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Drain chicken; add to onion mixture. Stir in the thyme, salt and pepper. Transfer to an 8-in. square baking dish coated with cooking spray.
Stack all 10 phyllo sheets. Roll up, starting at a long side; cut into 1/2-in. strips. Place in a large bowl and toss to separate strips. Spritz with butter-flavored spray. Arrange over chicken mixture; spritz again.
Bake, uncovered, at 425° for 10-15 minutes or until golden brown. Yield: 6 servings.

Makes 6 servings

Nutritional Analysis: 1 serving equals 325 calories, 8 g fat (1 g saturated fat), 63 mg cholesterol, 542 mg sodium, 33 g carbohydrate, 2 g fiber, 29 g protein.

Oh My Aching Back

2010-05-14T00:09:00.001-05:00

That's what Vern is saying right now.

We started with a couple of coats of primer on both the new drywall and over the existing walls.

(Awww, doesn't it just make you sick?)

Then we moved onto the beadboard ceiling we installed. We primed all of the boards before we put them up. Each and every little board. All 7,657 of them. Seriously. But it was totally worth it - no more sparkly popcorn ceiling.

Then we cracked open the paint color we selected with our super scientific method called "Spin the Paint Wheel." I'm not kidding. After months of trying to select a color and painting 15 different colors on the wall before dismissing them all, we decided to just throw caution to the wind and the paint cards in the air. The lucky winner (in other words, the one that landed face up) was Sherwin Williams Relaxed Khaki.

We still have to paint another coat, paint and install baseboard and crown moulding, install the lighting and the office cabinets, finish the tile work, and install the laminate flooring.

Oh, and I really should do something about my super fancy curtains.

I know, you're almost as jealous of those as you are my fabulous photography skills. Don't be a hater.

At least we are making progress. Aching back be damned.

Project, Project on the Wall

2010-05-13T09:09:00.000-05:00

Who is the most urgent of them all?

One of the things that I struggle with is keeping track of projects that I've either started or want to do.

I created an inspiration/project board in my craft room and divided it into sections for various types of projects.

For my purposes, I created a section for knitting/crochet, a section for sewing, and a section for other things that don't fall into one of those categories. (Although now that I look at it, it appears some of the projects have wandered out of their categories. Bad projects.)

I also have room for clippings from magazines or drawings that I want to use for inspiration as well as a place to temporarily put receipts for craft projects in case I need to calculate the cost of a project, make a return, or contact a store about inventory.

It's easy to move the cards around in any order you want and once the project is completed, just remove the card permanently.

Unfortunately, I've been adding more cards than I've been removing lately. I see a few things on my board that need some time and attention.

Now I no longer forget about projects I want to do. But I do apparently still ignore them.

Finally

2010-05-12T21:32:00.000-05:00

Well hallelujah, my iPad finally shipped.

It's about damn time.

My House is a Little Dusty

2010-05-12T17:16:00.001-05:00

Drywall dust, that is.

This is the reality that we call home.

It's also the reality of doing all the work of a major remodel by yourself. What you can't see behind those walls are the hours and hours of electrical and HVAC work that Vern had to do.

This is the room that was originally the formal living room. There was a solid wall separating the very small kitchen and the living room. We opened up that wall (which was a support wall, so we had to add a laminate beam for support), enlarged the kitchen into part of the area, and are going to use the space as a dining room, a small home office, and a small entryway.

Fortunately, there's progress and we are going to begin putting on primer today. If luck is with us, we might even start to paint tomorrow.

And no, that's not the paint color we choose either. We're going to at least attempt to be a little more subtle than that.

Color Picking Time

2010-05-12T10:54:00.001-05:00

I love color. It's one of the things that I'm almost obsessive compulsive about. Walking into a fabric store and seeing the wall of fabrics arranged by color just makes me want to run my fingers over them. When I was little, my crayon box had to be arranged in a very particular order (boy colors separated from girl colors, but we won't delve into the psychology of that just now).

My love of organized colors is one of the reasons that I think I own more paint decks than a non-painting professional should reasonably own. But I love thumbing through them and seeing the organized explosion of color. Peter Walsh will have to pry my paint decks out of my cold dead hands.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand, the cabinets for the home office should be arriving in the next week or so, and the office and dining room are close to the point where we can start to paint. I'll be the first to admit that we've made some poor color choices in the past (electric aqua blue bathroom I'm looking at YOU.). I have spent hours pouring over these paint decks, lots of money purchasing quarts of paint so I can paint samples on the wall, and nearly sleepless nights worrying about the ramifications of another poor paint color choice. Overly dramatic? I think not. YOU walk into that blue bathroom day after day and then see how you feel.

We have decided to go with a tighter color scheme for our home rather than trying to make some sort of a statement in each room. We narrowed our choices down to about five colors and decided to sleep on it.

So what did we decide in the light of the morning and after a good cup of coffee?

None of the above.

Back to the drawing board. Or the coloring board as the case may be.

Life's Great Mysteries - The Refrigerator Edition

2010-05-10T21:36:00.000-05:00

It's trash day at Uno Acres and while Vern is out in his shop trying to prove to me that he is not a hoarder (I can throw this away, really I can . . . ), I decided it was a good time to empty out our refrigerator and freezer and give it a good spring cleaning.

Life has many great mysteries. You can find them everywhere. Today I found them in my refrigerator.

Mystery 1: I found out that I have three boxes of phyllo dough. Count them - one, two, three. And yet I've never used phyllo dough in my entire life. In fact, not only did I find massive quantities of phyllo dough, but I also found a box of frozen puff pastry, yet another thing I've never used.

Mystery 2: Along the same lines as Mystery 1, I found a brand new jar of Smuckers cherry preserves. No one in our house likes cherry preserves. An internet search provides lots of ways to MAKE cherry preserves, but not one damn way to use them.

Mystery 3: Despite the fact that I know for certain that I've cleaned my refrigerator since 2007 (we didn't even HAVE this refrigerator then), I found several items that expired in 2007. Three YEARS ago. This happens every single time I clean out the refrigerator. It's as if the Expiration Fairy blesses me with a visit every month or two and adds a few special treats just to see if I'm paying attention.

Mystery 4, 5, and 6: Mystery meat, mystery broth, and mystery leftovers. Enough said.

Mystery 7: Someone is hiding their candy in the freezer.

Come to think of it, that's more of a perk than a mystery. I say finders keepers, and while Vern is in the shop proving he is not a hoarder, I'm going to be eating a candy bar and proving that housework really DOES make you fat.

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

2010-05-06T15:35:00.003-05:00

Me, that's who. And apparently my good friend Ester is going to make it happen.

I got the following email. And I know it's true because a God-fearing woman like my friend Ester would lie about something like this.

My Dearest

My name is Mrs. Ester Barnor I am 63 years old, I am a dying woman who  have decided to donate what I have to you/churches/ motherless  babies/less privileged/widows.I was diagnosed for cancer for about 2  years now. I have been touched by God to donate from what I have  inherited from my late husband to you for good work of god. ,I have  asked God to forgive me and believe he has because he is a merciful God.  I will be going in for an operation in the next couple of weeks.Having  suffered from that and going by the fact that i have no child to call  mine,I have decided to WILL/donate the sum of 10.7 million dollars to  you for the good work of God, and to help the motherless and less  privilege as well as for the assistance of the widows.At the moment I  cannot take any telephone calls right now due to the fact that my late  husband's relatives (That have squandered the

funds I gave them for this purpose before) are around me and my health  status also.

Be rest assured that all the whole modalities needed to get the fund  transferred to your account will be execute by my late husband's lawyer  whom witnessed and sign some necessary documents when my late husband  made the deposit of the total sum that is now meant for the less  privileges. I wish you all the best and may the good God bless you  abundantly, and please use the Funds judiciously and always extend the  good work to others. As soon you get back to me, I shall give you info  on what I need from you then you will contact my bank and tell them I  have willed (10.7 million dollars) to you by quoting my personal  reference number: Jlk/Wds/95773/50015/GwrI/3196us/GH and I have  also notified my bank that I am willing that amount to you for a good,  effective and prudent work. I know I don't know you but I have been  directed to do this by God and i would like you to assure me that you  will carry out this project accordingly.

Thanks and god bless. 

Regards,

Well I'm not going to let something like this slip through my fingers. No sir-ee Bob.

So I just sent the following response.

Dear Ester (can I call you Ester?  I think we should be on a first name  basis since you are going to will me all of your money, don't you?)

I  have a few questions about the letter you sent me.  

Do the good  works have to be for God or can they be in the name of some other  deity?   Does it have to go for less privileged?  Less privileged than  who?  Because I've got to tell you, I'm definitely less privileged than  Bill Gates or Oprah.

Do I have to wait until you are dead?  How long will that be? 

Aren't  your husband's relatives going to be mad at me?  Because I don't want  them to take my phone privileges away too.  That would suck.  Would they  take my Blackberry away too?  What about my computer.  I don't think I  want to make them mad if they'll take my Blackberry and my computer.

I know you said it has to be good, effective, and prudent work, but  I'm not usually all that effective.  Can we just go for good and  prudent?  Or maybe good and effective, but not prudent?  I don't usually  consider myself prudent either.

When God directed you to do this, did he mention me by name?  Did he  use my married name or my maiden name?  Because I think that there  might be some other people with my married name.  Maybe they are more  prudent than I am.

Let me know soon since you probably need to act fast so that your  husband's relatives don't take away your computer too.

Regards,

Your  Dearest.

I'm waiting with baited breath for her to send my my check for $10.7 million. No really. These email letters are almost never a scam.

Frogging the Baby Alpaca

2010-05-06T14:44:00.000-05:00

Spaghetti?

Nope, just frogging the baby alpaca.

For my non-knitting friends and readers, frogging is a knitting term that refers to ripping apart knitting that has already been done. Sometimes it's just a row or two and sometimes it's an entire garment.

Why is it called frogging? Because of the sound a frog makes - ribbit, ribbit. Get it? Ribbit, ribbit. Rip it, rip it.

I know - we knitters are a clever group.

Unfortunately, not always clever enough to get it right the first time.

Even more unfortunately, this

was supposed to become a Dream Shrug, but instead it became this:

Sometimes, despite careful gauging and careful knitting, good yarn goes bad.

I'm Questioning Einstein's Genius

2010-05-05T22:57:00.001-05:00

The Einstein Coat, that is.

Truthfully, I should be questioning my own genius. Why I decided to knit a heavy wool jacket in May, when the temperature is just beginning to rise is a mystery. The only answer I can come up with is that 1200 yards of bulky yarn is taking up too much space in my yarn stash so I need to make it into something so it can move to another closet. It would be far easier to just drape the yarn over a hanger and hang it in the coat closet.

But knit it I am. And knit and knit and knit and knit and knit.

Miles of knitting in fact.

So much knitting in fact, that I'm convinced that there is errata to the pattern somewhere that says "knit until the fingers on your left hand fall off." And then in a sadistic tone it goes on to say "turn work and knit until the fingers on your right hand fall off."

Einstein makes me want to

If I Took A Self-Portrait

2010-04-30T18:26:00.000-05:00

This is what it would look like.

Sometimes Mother Nature blows. Literally.

So, how's the weather in your neck of the woods? Maybe I'll fly by and check it out.

Earth Day 2010

2010-04-22T20:32:00.001-05:00

Today was Earth Day and next week (April 30) is Arbor Day, so it was the perfect time the plant a tree in our yard.

One of our maple trees (I'm not sure if it's a Red Maple or a Crimson King Maple) throws off an incredible amount of seedlings all over our yard and normally they either die off or they get mowed over before they even have a chance to grow. However, last year being the year that we paid absolutely no attention whatsoever to our yard, a couple of the seedlings not only took root, but flourished. The largest grew over five feet and had established a nice straight trunk.

We have a couple of trees that have died and will need to come down, so we decided to take Mother Maple's gift to us and try to nurture those trees into adulthood.

And just because there's nothing better than drinking water straight out of the hose, I'll share this too.

Give Yourself a Swirly

2010-04-22T11:53:00.007-05:00

A Swirly Scarf, that is.

If you are under the age of 16, a swirly probably has a completely different meaning. As a matter of fact, if you are under the age of 16, you probably shouldn't be here. This blog isn't entirely appropriate for children.

In this case, however, if you are an adult and more importantly a knitter, then you can give yourself - or someone you love - a Swirly and I promise that you will like it.

This is my version of the popular ruffled scarf, sometimes called a potato chip scarf. I'm not sure why it has that name, but it may have to do with not being able to stop at one.

This one is a little different than most patterns because you are only working with 20 stitches at most rather than miles and miles of stitches.

You can make it from almost any weight and with any size needles. I think it looks especially lovely when it is made from a yarn with a long color repeat, but it's also beautiful with a solid or even a yarn with short color repeats.

The pictured scarf is made with Crazy Zauberball by Schoppel-Wolle. I used the purple and blue colorway, but I'm making another one in gray and red.

The pattern is easy. If you have knit short rows before, then it will make total sense to you. If you haven't knit short rows, just trust the pattern. When it says "knit 8" then just knit 8 and turn your work and proceed to the next row. You are only going all the way across every 7th row.

Swirly Scarf

Set up:

Cast on 20 stitches

Knit 1 row

Work the following:

Row 1: K8, turn

Row 2: K8, turn

Row 3: K6, turn

Row 4: K6, turn

Row 5: K4, turn

Row 6: K4 turn

Row 7: K20

Repeat Rows 1 through 7 until the scarf is the desired length and then bind off.

You can use pretty much any weight of yarn and any size needles. I used a size 4 with the fingering/sock weight yarn. I'm currently working on another scarf that will be more of an outwear weight made with a thick worsted and I am using a size 11 needle.

Don't worry when it doesn't start to curl right away - it takes several inches before it starts to swirl and twirl.

I loved knitting this because you are never working with more than 20 stitches, usually no more than 8, it's all knitting, and it makes a very dramatic piece that starts a lot of conversations if you are KIP (knitting in public).

So give yourself a Swirly. Give your best friend a Swirly.

You could even give your childrens' teachers a Swirly. But if you get a detention, don't blame me.

In the Dark

2010-04-21T22:42:00.000-05:00

The remodeling project has resumed. Thank God.

Unfortunately, the next part of the project is rewiring and fixing some of the ~~outdated~~ completely fucked up wiring we currently deal with. Also unfortunately, it's a slow process of going in and out of the attic, pulling wires, and doing all the other stuff that I don't understand but thankfully Vern does.

What it means to me is that we've been without power and lights in about half our house for the past couple of days. The bedrooms are no big deal, although I do have to say that suddenly every single project that requires either electricity or lights has become the project that I want to work on.

The bigger problem is that there was no power or lights in the bathroom. It's a little too much like camping for my taste to have to use the toilet holding a flashlight between your teeth.

I'm happy to report that as of right now I am being told we are "back to where we started" and that it's "pretty much" permanently fixed. Whatever that means.

I do know it means that I don't have to hold a flashlight in my mouth anymore.

I was, however, warned . . . and I quote . . . "don't be getting used to this fancy stuff like electricity and indoor plumbing."

Fiber Fest Part II

2010-04-11T14:33:00.002-05:00

The fiber fest was a success.

What I did come home with: A bunch of yarn and fun gadgets.

What I didn't come home with: Anything that poops.

Oh, but I was tempted by this. . .

an angora rabbit. Have you ever seen anything so cute?

I was not tempted by this . . .

Not even a little bit. I do hope Peaches and Pear went to the same home though. It seems wrong to separate them.

Here's some of the non-pooping stuff I came home with (you can click on the pics for a closer look).

I pretty much know what I'll be doing for the next year or so.

Retail Therapy of the Fiber Variety

2010-04-09T20:02:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow morning some friends and I are getting up at the butt crack of dawn and driving three and a half hours to southern Indiana to go to a Fiber Fest (the yarn variety, not the gassy variety).

I've been saving up in case I want to buy one of these

or a couple of these.

But for sure, I'm going to be buying a lot of these.

I'm Calling to See if My House is on Fire

2010-04-08T21:52:00.002-05:00

No worries - there's not a fire at our house and there hasn't been in the past. But it didn't keep me from worrying about it every time I used my Crock Pot.

When I was newly married, it wasn't that long after Rival introduced a slower cooker called the Crock Pot to American homes. So in my defense, they were a relatively new gadget. I was somehow convinced that if I left the Crock Pot unattended while I was working, it would spontaneously combust and our house would burn to the ground.

My brilliant solution for this - and I really wish I was kidding here - was my own version of an alarm system. On the days that I used the Crock Pot, I called our home every hour to see if it was on fire.

How would I know, you ask? Because I reasoned that since no one was home during the day, the phone wouldn't be in use. But if there was a fire, my thought process led me to believe - inaccurately I'm sure - that I would get a busy signal because the wires would have been burned.

Take a minute and let the brilliance of that soak in and then cut me some slack - I was only 19 at the time.

I'm a few years past 19 now and I have a lot of experience with slow cookers under my belt. I still have that old Rival Crock Pot and it still works just like it did back then, and I'm also happy to report that it has never been the source of a fire.

It's time for it to be put to pasture though - the old grey mare (or the old yellow mare, in this case) just isn't keeping up with modern times.

I've tried a few slow cookers over the years and I haven't found any that knocked my socks off, but several months ago, I acquired one that I can finally highly recommend - The Hamilton Beach 3 in 1 Slow Cooker.

This thing is awesome. I love that it has three different sizes of crocks and that they all have the same lid and fit into the same base. It stores compactly and it cooks the food to perfection - no undercooking or overcooking.

And just so you walk away from this with something, I present to you my most recent favorite slow cooker recipe.

Slow Cooker Turkey and Dressing
8 oz pkg. stuffing mix
1/2 cup hot water
2 Tbsp. butter, softened
1 onion chopped
1/2 cup chopped celery
1/4 c sweetened diced cranberries
3 lb boneless turkey breast
1/4 tsp. dried basil
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper

Coat a 4 quart slow cooker with non stick spray; Spoon in dry stuffing mix. Add water, butter, onion, celery and cranberries. Mix well.

Sprinkle turkey with salt, pepper and basil and place over stuffing mix. Cook on low, covered, for 6-7 hours on low.

Remove turkey, slice and set aside. Gently stir up the stuffing and allow it to sit for 5 minutes.

(Apparently 3 lb. boneless turkey breasts are illegal in Illinois or something, so I used a 3 lb. frozen turkey roast found in the freezer section and I actually think it worked better. I've also used chicken and it worked great too - I just would use boneless breasts or chicken tender strips so that they can soak up the yummy goodness from the stuffing.)

And I promise that your slow cooker will not spontaneously burst into flames and burn your house to the ground. Call home every hour and check if you want.

The Princess Has Nothing on This Pea

2010-04-07T12:50:00.003-05:00

We like to shop. Vern and I both like to shop. We will shop for just about anything. And if we don't have something to shop for, we will make something up. This is an important point to remember for this post.

We also at some point thought we would have a lot of guests visiting. This, however, has never happened. We have a guest room and the same person occupies it time and time again. And much of the time, he brings his own sleeping arrangements with him in the form of his semi or his camper. So the one guest room we have is rarely used.

Somewhere along the line we picked up an air mattress. I think it's been used once. Maybe. As I was decluttering, I posed the question of getting rid of it and after much convincing, Vern agreed that it is something we don't need and don't use.

However, not only do we have that air mattress, we had a second one with a frame that raises it to the level of a bed. That one, however, had a leak. Which pretty much makes it unusable as an air mattress - a fact that was apparently lost on us whenever we discovered it actually had the leak because we folded it up neatly and stored it away.

Getting back to the point - we decided to match up the non-leaky air mattress and the frame and give it to my daughter, who actually does have people come to visit.

As I was getting it ready to take to her today, Vern said "what is that?"

Me - "Uh, the air mattress" (while looking at him like he has somehow lost his mind.)

Him - "No it's not."

Me - "Yes it is."

Rinse and repeat for a few good minutes.

Turns out that we not only had TWO air mattresses, we had THREE. That we never used. For the guests that we never had.

So we are pawning one of them off on the daughter, which still leaves us with one air mattress.

How we managed to throw one leaky mattress away and give one away and still end up with the original mattress I was trying to get rid of in the first place has to be some sort of new math.

(The irony of this whole story is that we are meeting her after we go shopping for a new computer and an iPad. We already have four networked computers in our home. Apparently we need two more.)

Let's Get Ready to Rumble

2010-04-05T21:17:00.004-05:00

Eff you United Healthcare. You might remember me? I've done battle with you before. And won. Even though it took me two years, I walked away with a big check and you walked away with a chunk chewed out of your butt.

But for the past couple of years, I've let things slide. A "not covered" here or an "already submitted" claim there, but not this year. You are NOT getting by with that bureaucratic bullshit THIS year.

I keep immaculate records. I know the policy. I know what is covered. And I know what I've submitted, when I've submitted it, and if it should be paid.

And I've got nothing better to do this year than be a big pain in your ass.

Peter, Peter Pumkin Eater

2010-03-28T07:02:00.004-05:00

I know that spring isn't a traditional time for pumpkin recipes or pumpkin pie, but I rely on canned pumpkin as a substitute for oil and eggs in a really tasty double chocolate muffin recipe. It's a low fat treat that I make often and I usually keep a stock of canned pumpkin on hand just for that.

However, imagine my surprise when I realized that the great pumpkin shortage from last fall still apparently exists in our part of the world. Not a can of pumpkin to be found in any grocery store in our area. I had to resort to ordering organic canned pumpkin from Amazon.

Not that either organic pumpkin or Amazon are a bad thing - one just doesn't think of UPS delivering a case of pumpkin all wrapped up in a pretty Amazon box. Sort of a boring delivery if you ask me. But one must do what one must do, I guess.

So, in that vein, I'll share my recipe with you just in case you actually can get pumpkin in your part of the world. But if not, you know where you can get some.

Disclaimer: I actually HATE pumpkin. So much so that I throw a cry-baby hissy fit at Thanksgiving if there isn't a choice other than pumpkin pie. So much so that I actually have a hard time mixing up these cupcakes. However, as an avowed pumpkin hater, let me assure you that you absolutely cannot tell that there is a can of pumpkin used as a low-fat, healthier alternative to eggs and oil in this recipe. I promise.

Double Chocolate Cupcakes

1 chocolate cake mix (you can use any chocolate flavor - we like chocolate fudge)

1 can of pumpkin (not pumpkin pie mix, but regular canned pumpkin)

1/2 cup of water

1/2 cup of chocolate chips

Mix all the cake mix, pumpkin, and water together. It will be fairly thick, but you can still mix it easily by hand (I use my Kitchen Aid because, as stated above, I hate pumpkin and the less I have to do with it the better). Mix in the chocolate chips.

Put into cupcake liners and bake approximately 20-25 minutes at 350.

Makes about 15 cupcakes. And if you are watching your waistline, they are 2 Weight Watchers points each.

Now, go forth and find canned pumpkin.

Doing My Civic Duty

2010-03-16T05:59:00.004-05:00

I realize I haven't blogged about our recent cruise and trip to Hawaii. I'm still digesting it myself, but let's just say that my friend Kelly refers to it as the Tsunami cruise. Which is probably kinder than calling it the Geriatric/Floating Nursing Home cruise like we've been doing.

That's not what has me up and about this morning. I'm still on Hawaii time, so I'm having trouble sleeping. I'm not sure how long I can play that out, but I'm still claiming to carry around 20 pounds of pregnancy weight and my daughter will be 25 this week, so surely I can use the jet lag excuse a little longer.

Mostly today what kept me from sleeping was "the census." It came yesterday. To be fair, I'd been warned that it was coming. Repeatedly. And in several languages. And alas, it arrived yesterday with the stern warning that my "response is required by law."

Technically, I guess I could pass this one off on Vern since he's considered the head of household but since having him carted off to jail won't really help me get the house finished, I took it upon myself to complete the form and mail it back in "today" as directed by their instructions in bold print.

The problem with "today" is that it wants answers as of April 1. And it doesn't want you to count anyone not living in the home or residing in jail. There's the very real possibility that one of us might not be living here or may be residing in jail by April 1st. PMS is a bitch. Just saying.

So anyway, I filled it out and popped it back in the mail like a good citizen except that I did get a little thrill when I refused to put one letter in each box and instead just wrote our names normally in my regular handwriting. What can I say, I'm a rebel. A law abiding, civic duty doing rebel, but a rebel all the same.

Upon reflection though, I probably shouldn't have been so hasty. I really should have placed a few ads, put up some billboards, produced a few television commercials and sent a letter to Uncle Sam to let him know to expect my census.

A SemiAnnual Conundrum

2010-03-14T06:42:00.003-05:00

As if time didn't move fast enough anyway, it's time once again to spring the clocks forward just so that we can then fall back an hour later in the year.

What I really don't understand, however, is why my $10 clock from Target automatically detects daylight savings time and sets itself and yet my very expensive, state of the art oven can't manage that simple task.

By the time I find all of the clocks that need to be set in the house and in the cars, it will be time to turn them back again.

Daylight Savings time...robbing us of one hour of sleep since 1918.

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

2010-01-06T22:19:00.002-06:00

Currently, at our house . . .

as well as a . . .

So I'm counting the 37 days until . . .