A very long time ago I wrote about Mad TV probably needing to go. It was a tough call on my part; I love comedy, people of diverse backgrounds were getting seen, the show taped 2 blocks from my LA apartment. So I wanted to be loyal but it just suffered from weak writing. Weekly comedy is hard. Hell, COMEDY is hard, but those folks had access to top resources and just weren’t willing to get out there and find a stronger comedic voice. So as much as people have maligned SNL they just do better. The final episode and season finale of SNL, ironically, chose a lot of similar topics.

Man, a long time ago I also wrote about Knight Rider’s first episode and I had high hopes. But they fell into the young white guy is the hero of every scene formula and that’s all she wrote. Another cable show that got a little press The Beast and Nip/Tuck are gone too.

Kyle XY, well, I also wrote about this show just being too good and the network not knowing what to do. Hour long fantasy/sci fi shows have very loyal fans. And they’re a lot of them. But networks get INTO these deals and every single time they are surprised when they’re not making enough money on these hour long shows after 2 seasons and then start talking cancellation. Every time. Look at Battlestar that show is technically gone, but Caprica is on the horizon now because the networks have fans flooding them show interest. The fans TRIED with Kyle but SO FAR the networks aren’t listening.

But don’t believe everything. Case in point. They killed Family Guy and voila. It came back. They killed Scrubs and voila it came back. And this brings us to the strange new trend of Network Hoping. Networks with weak programming blocks are picking dropped shows. ABC took Scrubs. And CW just dropped The Game and now BET is pretty much locked in on finalizing a deal. FOX let Futurama go years ago. But did you know they’ve been making Futurama movies? Yeah, three of them. And fans like me have been collecting them. So now Comedy Central is renewing the show. I wouldn’t be totally surprised if a network like Lifetime picked up the recently canceled Samantha Who. Something like that MIGHT happen for Reaper. But, poor Reaper. It’s SOOO good and at first CW just canceled it. Then there was this mailing in socks campaign by the fans. So they renewed the show but gave it a  delayed renewal last YEAR and now it’s pretty much dead. I figure if the network can’t find another hit this summer they’ll bring it back. And if they bring it back I will update this article. But some cast members are already booked on new shows. But again; fantasy shows so rarely are giant hits like Heroes and that’s the only way they can make it.

Now a sad situation is My Name is Earl fiasco. As you may or may not know Chuck was canceled, but due to fans like me who made videos, the show got renewed at the last minute. The Earl group tried a similar tactic on Twitter, but it didn’t work out. Sad. Good show and I’m surprised because half hour comedies are cheap-for the most part. Earl was kinda filmic (not set in and around a living room like Rosanne or Family Matters) so it probably cost a little more to make.

Speaking of surprises. I PREDICTED the cancellation of Better Off Ted. But guess what? It’s staying on the air! I reasoned that the show was actually TOO funny and good for ABC, but what I forgot about was one of the stars being involved with Ellen and a network not wanting to ruffle feathers of a money maker. Totally forgot about that. It’s similar to the reason that Kath and Kim is still on the air. As awful as that show is, because Molly Shannon has a history with NBC they’re letting it live. The EXACT same reason they’re keeping Amy Poehler’s awful show Parks. Love Amy but man what a horrible premise for a show. Not the workplace but Amy playing one character. A dumb one too. Who the hell thought that was the way to go? Ah well, TV…

Related posts:

1. Pushing Daisies, Christian Slater, MadTV Cancelled. Kath & Kim Still on the Air! So last ni
2. What’s Up with the ABC Family Channel? Kyle XY and Fallen Seem too Weird (STOP. I w
3. The New Knight Rider Show Has Some Strong Elements So I jus

Pam Shriver is quoted in a piece for the LA times this week where she says the obvious. The French Open has been repeatedly miserable to Serena. And the speculation is that maybe it’s not racist since the French have Gael Monfils and maybe it’s not anit-American since they love Roddick. But A) Gael is a a FRENCH Black person and they’ll root for anybody that can put France on the map for tennis. B) Roddick is a (white) man. Case closed on that one. In fact the ONLY person being heckled with nasty comments and repeatedly having officials ignore blatant cheating is Serena.What I wrote in response is below…

Serena’s not fit? Compared to whom? Look, Couch, I don’t know you; I’ve never read anything you’ve written, but the story title caught my eye. So I don’t know if you’re a former tennis pro, a sports writer in general or just some dude who got a job at a website and assigned to this part of the site. But I’ve been watching women’s tennis since 1999, and even I feel I can make a better assessment of what’s going on than you.

Waaaaayyy back a year and a half ago I wrote a piece about the slump BOTH Williams were going through and either on my own blog or in a comment I made on somebody else’s blog I predicted they were probably on a downward spiral.

But NOT for the reasons you’ve indicated; fitness and commitment. That’s absurd. I mean have you really listened to what you’ve said? Serena’s strength is so apparent that she does not even LOOK like a tennis player. The irony is that I thought she looked about 10 pounds lighter than I’m used to seeing her for the French open. But the Williams in general are SO fit no American can even compete anymore. It took a flood of Eastern Europeans, people coming from poor parts of Europe, to be able to be able to match the physicality of the Williams. The French had to go back to the drawing board (Mauresmo) and the Belgian just dropped out (Clijsters) and one by one the other Americans have receding into obscurity.

My belief for the REAL reason for the Serena (and Venus) slump is not about commitment so much as it is about home life. When their parents got divorced and their sister got killed that broke their momentum, and they haven’t recovered. Richard (their father for those of you not up to speed) pretty much handed over coaching duties and their mother took over for a while. He wasn’t even at games as often. And I just think it’s a case of diminishing returns unless something drastic changes.

As for this issue of sponsorship money. Well let’s not kid ourselves. It’s a Black issue. Case closed. No need to harp on it. But the guy you interviewed, Bob Williams, ironically located here in FANTASTICALLY racist Chicago saying 50 percent of endorsement deals go to Black people should be corrected to “men athletes.” Yeah, Black GUYS make a lot of dough in “traditionally Black player dominated” sports. There is no Black man making a killing in hockey. So the Serena is fighting two uphill battles; women not making as much as men, and being the “wrong” race for her sport. The ad agencies are essentially not in a mood to sell Black Barbies to little white girls not when they’ve got an IDEAL candidate in Sharapova WHO ONLY WON A FEW slams compared to Serena. Because that was the other argument right? “Serena doesn’t win enough” Ha! In addition, sponsorship deals are not necessarily tied to winning as much as DRAW. The Williams have drawn more viewers to TV, more worldwide fans to the game and sold more tennis seats than anybody in the last 10 years. FACT.

I’m also noticing a lot of people talking about how “arrogant” Serena is. How she’s needs to “do it, not say it.” Well, all you fat ass people sitting at your computer’s look ridiculous. Have any of YOU ever won a Grand Slam? Even one? Come on, surely you MUST have done something to be so full of attitude. And man, how short people’s memories are. Does anybody remember Muhammad Ali most famous saying? Oh that’s right it was “I’m the Greatest!” Or let’s look at Jimmy Connors, or John McEnroe. NONE of these guys were shy and demur-whether they wore winning or LOSING about how they were the “best.” It’s unusual for a woman to do it and there are so few Black women tennis players that, YES, she pumps herself up. Who can fault her when she’s been repeatedly cheated at the French, called all kinds of names, AND had to deal with those “objective” people in the booth talking about her and her sister negatively whenever they get a chance. I mean, Mary Jo and the others were SO easy to make backhanded compliments for YEARS until the Williams winning streak could no longer be denied. So surprise, surprise Serena decides to be her OWN number one fan AND number one critic to get herself to the top. To NOT be a braggart is, frankly, kinda UNAmerican. Anybody remember a certain flight suited dude standing in front of a Mission Accomplished banner?

Related posts:

1. With Richard’s Role Reduced the Williams Sisters Loose a Little More Steam Every Year So, here w
2. The ONLY Reason I Know About ANY Women Tennis Players is Serena Listen, I�
3. Worst Saturday Night Live in Years; Jan 17 09. Thank Goodness for the Australian Open This is no

Bloods and Crips: Made in America. Whew, I mean, that’s like a conversation from 15 years ago right? Or twenty-FIVE years ago if you wanna talk crack in it’s hey day. So what compelled Stacy to drag all this out like it’s something new? For those of you (probably most) who don’t know Peralta is a a film director, but really he’s a skateboard guy. I’m a 41 year old guy and I first heard his name from precisely 26 years ago as I ventured outside of Chicago’s version of Los Angeles’ South Central (called the South Side) and made my way into the “white part of town” and discovered punk rock and skateboarding. And for those of you who don’t know Chicago is the home of the 2 other largest waring Black gangs; the Disciples and the El Rukins.

Peralta is “old school” having been a part of that original crew of Dogtown skaters in the 70’s (for this history lesson we’re gonna skip over the 60’s “sidewalk surfin’” era). Eventually he began to skate a little less and video tape younger skaters more and more. And voila; film director. So he’s no stranger to documenting LA based, sub cultures. And by him being an LA native who has lived so adjacent to one of the most largest Black communites in the America (a community that has affected so much of the PLANET via violence, style, music and attitude) I can understand him being compelled to FINALLY saying to himself, “Man, I really ought to see what’s going on in my own back yard. I’ve already got the cameras…” But isn’t everybody who watches PBS gonna be up to speed on this issue? I mean I don’t think any FOX News viewers will ever see/care about this film.

But with this film I see a lot of “hack” standards (from a film making point of view) and in terms of ground covered I see a lot of stereotypical elements re-hased (as a guy with a degree in Anthropology, point of view). All the favorites are there.

The soundtrack ripped straight from about 3 shows on KCRW’s night time line up

The look back at the 60’s Civil Rights movement as the “start” part of cycle

Dragging out 60’s Lefty Tom Hayden

The footage of Black kids with gang paraphanilia and guns

The photos of dead bodies

The footage of (primarily White) cops abusing Black people of all ages and sexes

The former gang members talking about “giving back” and “changing things”

The interviews of young current gangsters talking about “no way out” “it’s all I know”

Rodney of course, can’t talk about angry Black people without Rodney King

The montage of sad/crying Black parents

And the warehousing of people (Black men) by the prison complex

So, the phrase “Black on Black Crime” isn’t actually verbalized, but the…look and feel is tried and try Black people as surrounded by/causing violence and being victims of a culture that created a quicksand of despair that we can’t seem to break out of. Again, I guess the word needs to be put out there…but as an educated Black man it’s also a little tiring. Really? This is still new knowledge to white people? Really? This is still something you think would make an insightful thing to put all that money and time into? Really? I’ve seen this done so many times. In fact I’ve seen it done better several times (hey, I like the morphing photo effect a lot too but I’m not sure if it really reaches my heart in this context). I’ve seen where they give the kids cameras and let them film their lives for a few months and we see what’s important to THEM. What story they think should be told. But a project like this where you can’t personally follow individual just seems like it’s glossing over Standard Black Problem. It just affirms that violence/victim model.

But I’m torn. People think we have “overcome” because they see Obama; and he is close to being a Martian than he is to most Black people, so it’s good to get this reminder of what’s truly a part of OUR daily existence. But maybe there are different problems that need to be addressed or maybe this film could have tackled why so many efforts to change things have been ineffective. I’m not sure, but I DO know that if I had had access to Peralta before this project was done it would not have looked like this when the finished product was done.

Related posts:

1. Another Showbiz book review So I
2. Birthday Well I
3. Is Edwards the Great White Hope for Obama? I was REAL

So we’re supposed to be coming to the end of the “April showers” season but the rain looks like it’s going to be coming right along for at least another 2 weeks. My neighbor knows I ty to do my own work around the house so asked me to come look at his gutters. His problem was that in the front water was spilling out of the gutters as if somebody was pouring the excess water out of a pot of recently cooked pasta. Not good. I told him my theory; which was that the gradual wight of the water had basically bent the gutters outward and he would probably need to either get some new gutter supports or put some shims behind the gutters to tilt them back up. And I left his place feeling pretty satisfied with myself. Oh woe to the smug man. Next day it rained and I figured it was a good chance to see how my own gutters were doing. I was quite shocked to find on both sides of my house rain water was spilling over before even GETTING to the downspouts. Had the weight bent mine too?

I got out the ladder and decided to some dangerous wet climbing WITH my camera. Leaves. I couldn’t believe I had leaves clogging up my works. I had worked during the EARLY part of the Fall cleaning them out, but clearly the late Fall had filled my gutters up again. So now I’m determined to get some kind of gutter protection. There are a few models out there. The easiest way to show you is to build an Amazon showcase that you’ll see below. Or if  you Need A Contractor? Ask Angie! Let AngiesList.com Help You Find The Best Contractor In Your Town! But basically there are these inexpensive guards but the problem with those is that another neighbor of mine has the water just bouncing off and spilling over the house. And I mean a flood of water. So that’s really a house by house situation. I DID see some great gutter protection on This Old House that I really liked. There were basically wire brushes. The water can pass through and the leaves fly over the side. There are also some pretty expense gutter guards which act like a seal. And there’s a VERY good DVD which compares them all too.

So I took a few pictures of the adventure, and it get the leaves out of the downspout took several tools. The first one below is the clog itself. I used a giant kitchen spoon. I used a car jack handle and I used a flexible long piece of metal to push the debris through the S curve of the downspout neck.

After I got things cleared out I took a few pics.

Related posts:

1. Downspout Drainage to Sewer Clogged or Leaking Pt4 What? You
2. Downspout Drainage to Sewer Clogged or Leaking So OK, I�
3. Downspout Drainage to Sewer Clogged or Leaking Pt2 All right

Just as an example look at the stats from this article within 24 hours of me writing the piece.

Networks are dumping good shows so fast now it’s like watching one of those old 3 Stooges shorts where the row boat springs a leak and all they have are teacups to get rid of the water. Dead Like Me, Pushing Daises, My Own Worst Enemy, Kings, Kyle XY, Battlestar Galactica, Scrubs, Cavemen, ER(!), Knight Rider, Reaper, Prison Break. I mean, damn! And those are just shows I either watch or know about, there’s a whole bunch of crap I don’t watch that’s getting the axe. Meanwhile, every single DAY this blog gets traffic with people trying to find out if the awful Kath and Kim is canceled because of a piece I wrote talking about how NBC is being loyal to Molly Shannon DESPITE how gloriously terrible it is. It defies all logic. It’s otherworldly how bad it is.

Which brings is to ABC and Better Off Ted. The piece I wrote described how I think there are 2 factions at ABC. One group who keeps pushing the envelope, in terms of programming, and another group who has the power to kill shows IF they get either numbers too low or too many complaints. I predicted the show would be killed off because ABC is going to reach that fork in the road and do what they always do-kill the show. So tonight’s episode, clearly indicates that at least one producer of the show is aware they’re not coming back and has decided to just go for broke. (See my piece on Morel Orel on Adult Swim for a show that followed that strategy)

Tackling “Black Issues” is something they don’t really do on TV. Unless it’s a news piece of course. Old school news was all about “the Black people are running wild, so be scared.” They would do it in both overt and subtle ways. Then after Islamic terrorists became the new bogey man (and so much white crime became entirely too noticeable to ignore) the Black thing took a backseat in news. And then news shows switched the coverage of “Black Issues” to “These poor miserable wretches.” On the surface it was all about casting us in a sort of Sally Struthers surrounded by fly-babies sort of light, but the CODE was “They are such a drain on our resources, God, if we could just get rid of them America would literally be a place of milk and honey.” Never mind the fact that we spend such a disproportional amount of money that the country would collapse if we stopped-or the fact that entire industries are built on our work. Ok, ok, I know; you didn’t come here to hear the guilt trip plus you’ve heard it all before, yadda, yadda, yadda…

So the episode! Black guy isn’t picked up by motion sensors in the office; hilarity ensues. Now let’s just talk about how I perceived what was going on; your mileage may vary. I still haven’t posted this EXTREMELY long Obama piece I wrote about what it meant with him getting elected etc., but one of the points was that the BAD news was that “white people” were finally gonna get what they’ve DESPERATELY wanted; the opportunity to say “We’re cool right? The whole slavery thing is a non-issue because, see, we voted Black!” No, you didn’t. You voted for reason and intelligence. In response to Bush. That’s what happened. Now yes, I’m all for peace and harmony but a BUNCH of things needed to happen before we were gonna be “cool.” Nothing crazy like reparations (I know who much that very idea freaks white people out “but I didn’t even do anything, my family didn’t even get here until after WWII”). Trust me I’ve heard it all.

But ABC clearly felt in the “era of Obama” having one or two Black guys on staff (and probably came up with the plot) would give them the free pass. But the SAD fact is, Black people are on the lookout every single day for a slight or offense they can take to their keyboards and spout off about. (Yeah, we finally closed the digital divide. But we’re also too damn lazy to take to the streets unless you actually KILL one of us in an unarmed and blatantly raciest-cop/s scenario). So what elements of the show might get Black people riled up?

*The idea of putting this issue in a comical light. Anybody remember a comedy set in Civil War era with Lincoln and his slave butler having “crazy” times a la Benson? It was The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer

*The idea the of the white shadow in the show where a white guy has the magical powers to “open doors” the Black characters cant (that’s a two-fer by the way; a literal and figurative)

*The idea that it took MULTIPLE white people to get the Black guy motivated enough to stand up for his rights

*The idea that too many Black men in an elevator would cause white flight (again, a two-fer!)

*The episode is called Operation White Shadow which references ANOTHER “white man’s burden” type show from the 70’s. And at some point they assign white guys to follow the Black guys. This of course is like the real life adventures that I and most Black men (and some women) have to go through ALL THE TIME being followed around if we go ANYWHERE that’s not 75% or greater Black people. Neighborhoods, malls, stores, theme parks; basically any Goddamned where. And in the show, they kind of give off a slave vibe when the Black guys compare the white guys they’ve been assigned. AND like in real life; even the most remedial and barely functional of white guys has more access than the most educated Black men

*The fact that even the commercials were pre-planned. A Verizon spot with a Black man being ominously lorded over by a train conductor. Followed by a “chocolate” flavored breakfast cereal.

Here is the cereal-I think it was “Special K”

And here are those “spooky” guys in the elevator

HOLY MOLY. I took a break from writing this last night and it LOOKS like somebody put a link to a forum. And so BRIGHT and EARLY I’m going to finish this piece-right now. By the way. Guess what? I took that break to watch South Park and watch Reno 911. And South Park featured a story about a fellow Black man from Chicago, Kanye West, just like me of course. Then on Reno they had a severely wounded character named Dr. Rosenthal, again, just like me. Same last name! Weeeeee!

So to conclude; I like the show, I liked the episode, but for all intents and purposes it was really something that should have been on cable. Network TV, and the people who don’t live in cities with a population over say…2 million can’t really digest a farcical and intelligent look at race-and survive. I mean they can air it, but they’re not going to survive the Black people online assault AND the white viewers who were on the fence falling onto the “not coming back to this show” side of that fence. PLUS they’ve got one of the only 4 or 5 openly gay Hollywood actresses with Portia de Rossi on the show? Come on! They’re asking to get kicked. Obviously time will tell. But TWELVE HOURS after I wrote my thing saying Kyle XY wouldn’t make it-it got killed. I’m giving Better Off Ted…3-5 more weeks. And 5 is being VERY generous. I’ll miss it.

One final unrelated note; I used the word Blackisode in this piece, and it’s not the best example. But I INVENTED this concept of contracting words you wouldn’t normally contract. Let me rephrase that. Obviously I didn’t invent the concept of Portmanteau words, but I DID bring it to the forefront of modern American culture. Having spent the last 25 years in LA, NYC, and Chicago and been in showbiz and around advertising execs for all those years I can guarantee you some of those people heard me doing and started throwing it into commercials, sitcoms and movies. Just had to put that into print somewhere-and why not here?

Related posts:

1. Better Off Ted Fulfills ABC and its 5 Percent Freaky Factor So right o
2. The Last Season of Scrubs on TV. How Does Zach Braff Look to You? First of a
3. Reaper the TV Show Survives the Grim Reaper. Returning Next Year So, like,