We'll Always Have Books

To Give Up or Not to Give Up

2012-10-28T19:39:00.000-04:00

I don't remember ever really thinking about this issue before becoming a book blogger, but now it seems to be the all-important question: when do you give up on a book?

My fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Hammer, said she gave a book 20 pages. If she wasn't intrigued by then, she quit reading. I thought that was a pretty good rule until I realized just how short 20 pages can be. You've barely gotten into anything in 20 pages. I don't know if it's really much better, but I feel that 50 is much more adequate. Maybe because 50 is my per-day-page-goal, but I also think that something needs to have at least happened by then.

But this is all a pretty new topic for me. I actually don't remember making a conscientious decision to stop reading books that didn't interest me. I just set them aside while I started something new, as if I were just taking a break, but then never ended up picking them back up.

Now, since I'm (supposed to be) reviewing these books and I've listed on GoodReads which ones I'm currently reading, I feel a bit more obligated to stick with them so I can accurately review them. And if I don't follow through and finish a book, I'm burdened with a self-imposed guilt trip.

For example, this past week I was so excited to start The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling. I knew it hadn't gotten great reviews, but I wanted to read it because I respected Rowling as an author and storyteller. I knew it would be nothing like Harry Potter, and was excited to see what else she could produce. Unfortunately, after 88 pages I had to put it down. I hadn't found one likable character and in general, the storyline was just kind of depressing.

My dilemma, therefore, was: do I need to finish the book to give it a fair shot, even if it means disliking it the whole time, or give it up and move on with my life?

Well, I gave it up. But I'm curious:

What do you do when you don't like the book you're reading? Do you feel obligated to stick it out until the end, or do you have a page limit?

10 Months - Double Digits

2012-10-22T19:58:00.002-04:00

You guys. Emily is 10 months old today. It hasn't really sunk in yet. And it's not like this is a big milestone. It's just the fact that she's double digits that makes it seem like a bigger deal than it really is.

9 months was a great age. She was so happy, so interactive, and so fun to take places. We had a blast this month.

This month she became quite capable of feeding herself puffs and other small bits of food. That pincer grasp is in full force. Usually she still prefers I feed her everything, but she's not fooling me. I know she can do it. I think she just likes dropping puffs on the floor for Lizzie.

She absolutely hates doors closing. If you shut a door, any door, even if it's one she wasn't planning on going through, cue the waterworks. This is more understandable when a door closing means someone has left the room, but it's not the only time she throws a fit.

She is doing very well at standing on her own. In just the last week alone she's taken to doing it more and more often and for longer periods of time. She's not doing in continuously, yet (once she realizes she's not hanging onto anything she'll gently let herself down) but she's getting there. Sometimes I think she does it just because it's a cute trick. Then we get all excited and she says, "Okay, that's enough. Time to sit down."

She has also started to transition from two naps to one. I thought I would be upset about this, but in all honesty I'm kind of excited for the days when we have more time to spend out of the house. It's been so frustrating trying to plan our days around her 2-hour wake cycle. And now that she's eating three solid meals a day, it takes more time to get us ready and out of the house.

Speaking of three meals a day, she has started to sleep better through the night. I don't know what's really considered "sleeping through the night" for an infant, but I think she's doing great. She'll normally go 8-11 hours in a row, wake up to eat, and then goes back down until she gets a total of 13 or so hours (sometimes 15, and I throw a party).

Emily has also started giving kisses with a vengeance. They're open-mouth, sloppy, with a little bit of a tongue, but they're the most adorable, ardent kisses.

Her favorite places are outside and in the water. Bath time is AWESOME. And the outdoors make her so happy and entertain her for hours.

Oh, and I almost forgot, we went to a pumpkin patch this month! Of course I forgot to take a picture of her actually in the patch, but I did get some of her sitting next to the decorations we bought once we got home. And I think I found the place we'll be returning to year after year. There were mazes, pony rides, hot apple cider, sheep, a bunny, pumpkins, mums...basically a fall paradise. I look forward to making it a tradition!

I have absolutely loved watching her grow this month. She is such a joy. Happy 10 month birthday, Emily! Mommy and Daddy love you!

Read-a-Thon End of Event Meme

2012-10-14T20:49:00.001-04:00

I meant to have this up this morning but, you know, life happened.

1) Which hour was most daunting for you? Well, I didn't get a chance to read straight through, so there was no particular time where I felt I couldn't go on. Even when I went to bed, I still wanted to keep going. But as I am just getting over a cold and am trying not to catch my husband's flu, I thought sleeping was the smart decision.

2) Could you list a few high-interest books for next year? Well, I only read part of my book club book, Rules of Civility by Amor Towles, but it is fantastic. I didn't want to switch it up and read anything else.

3. Do you have any suggestions for how to improve the Read-a-Thon for next year? Nope.

4) What do you think worked really well in this year's Read-a-Thon? I think the cheering was better this year. I got comments when I was still awake. :-)

5) How many books did you read? I didn't finish any this year.

6) What were the names of the books you read? I read Rules of Civility and listened to The Mark of Zorro.

7) Which book did you enjoy most? Definitely Rules of Civility.

8) Which book did you enjoy least? Since I only have two to choose from, by default that would be The Mark of Zorro.

9) N/A

10) How likely are you to participate next year and what role do you think you'll play? I hope to participate again! I'll probably be a reader again, because I don't know if I can commit to the amount of time it would take to do anything else. At least as a reader I can still participate a bit, even if I have other things that need to be taken care of!

And that's it! I didn't get as much reading done as I had hoped, but I got more done than I do on any normal day, so I'm considering it a win!

Happy Read-a-Thon Day!

2012-10-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

I'll be updating this post throughout the day, so check back for updates! You can also follow me on Twitter.

Hour 15

Well guys, that's it for me. Time to head to bed to ward off any more illnesses. I'll probably listen to a bit of my audio book, The Mark of Zorro, and I might still make an appearance on Twitter, but I won't be blogging anymore tonight. Good luck to the rest of you read-a-thon-ers still going strong!

Total pages read: 110
Total mini-challenges completed: 8

Hour 13

It's time for the mid-event survey!

1) How are you doing? I'm sleepy, but mainly because I'm getting over a cold and didn't sleep well the past two nights.
2) What have you finished reading? Unfortunately, I haven't finished a single book.
3) What is your favorite read so far? I've only been reading Rules of Civility, but it's A-mazing. I don't even want to crack open another book.
4) What about your favorite snacks? Those have been pretty lackluster so far. I'm about to break out some chocolate, though!
5) Have you found any new blogs? Not yet. I'm only just really getting ready to buckle down, now that the baby is in bed.

Mid-event stats
Total books read: 0
Total pages read: 70
Total number of mini-challenges completed: 7

Hour 12

Whew. Emily's in bed (although I just heard a whimper so who knows for how long) and the husband is currently sleeping, trying to break through this fever. Poor guy. I, on the other hand, am looking forward to finally focusing on some reading.

As part of the Literacy Mini-Challenge, I'd like to share a photo with you of quite possibly the youngest read-a-thon-er: my daughter Emily. Here she is helping mommy pick out her next YA book. Poor girl hasn't gotten the hang of keeping her eyes open through the flash yet.

She absolutely loves books and being read to. Her eyes light up when she sees a book, and we make sure to leave plenty out at her level so she can grab one whenever she wants.

Hour 9

After a trip the grocery store and taking care of the hubs and the babe, I'm back to it. Haven't gotten much reading in today, but I'm doing what I can and really enjoying Rules of Civililty.

Munching on: Apple smoked gouda cheese cubes
Listening to: Rain hitting the windows
Books finished: 0
Total pages read: 36
Total mini-challenges completed: 5

Hour 5

Well, I forgot that I needed to get dinner going in the crockpot. But after that was done, I finally got to do some reading. And I'm only stopping now to tell you that Rules of Civility by Amor Towles is beautifully written and I can't stop highlighting passages like this one:

"Which is just to say, be careful when choosing what you're proud of - because the world has every intention of using it against you." - page 37

Books finished: 0
Pages read: 19
Total mini-challenges completed: 4

Hour 4

Finally! Emily's down for a nap so it's time to start reading! But first, let's catch up.

Introductory Questionnaire

1) What fine part of the world are you reading from today? I'm in Indiana!
2) Which book in your stack are you most looking forward to? Probably Rules of Civility, since it's my book club pick and the writing is SO GOOD (I'm only on the first chapter).
3) Which snack are you most looking forward to? I still have to go to the grocery store today at some point, but I'd have to say hot chocolate.
4) Tell us a little something about yourself! Oh, let's see. I have a 9 month old daughter, a 4 year old puppy, and a wonderful husband. I'm taking care of all three today (husband is sick, boo) so my reading time will be very intermittent.
5) If you participated in the last read-a-thon, what's one thing you'll do different today? Probably try to split up my reading between my main novel and some shorter stories. My brain will need the break!

Mini-Challenge: Snacks

I haven't eaten anything but breakfast yet today and I don't really have a plan for snacks. It's more a see-what's-in-the-fridge-and-eat-it kind of day. But here's a snapshot of breakfast this morning: grown-up breakfast and baby breakfast!

Mini-Challenge: Oldies But Goodies

For this mini-challenge we're asked to say which classic book we think all high school students should read and why. There are so many to choose from that it's hard to pick just one, but I'm going to go with my favorite, Gone With the Wind. Not only is it a classic, but it brings the history of the Civil War to life in a way that history books just can't. Reading about Scarlett O'Hara makes history come alive and gives kids of the 21st century a glimpse into what life was really like.

Alright guys, I'm off to get some reading done!

Hour 1

Good morning! I'm either a) sleeping or b) taking care of the baby. Either way, I'll be around later and ready to start reading it up!

I Get to Read-a-Thon Tomorrow!

2012-10-12T15:26:00.001-04:00

I was a bit bummed this week because I didn't think I would be able to participate in my 3rd 24-hour Read-a-Thon tomorrow. Well, nothing clears up a social calendar like sickness, so it looks like I'm going to be able to read after all!

My good friend Katie will be visiting me in the morning, so I don't plan on getting an early start. And I do need to make a trip to the grocery store at some point (snacks!) but other than that, I'm going to be all taking-care-of-the-baby-and-sick-husband-while-reading. Because that's just how we do around here.

Since I'm participating in Michelle's Reading My Own Books challenge, I'm looking forward to making a dent in the mountain that is my already-owned book stack. And what I'm about to show you isn't even close to all of them.

I've got a stack of books I bought from a local bookstore a couple of months ago, plus a couple books that are technically borrowed but I've had them so long they're really mine. Included are a couple books with shorter stories (or letters) that I can use to split up the day and give my mind a bit of a break.

Plus, I have a stack of old YA books that I read (or didn't, as the case may be) as a kid. I want to re-read these to see if they're worth keeping around for Emily.

I also have my Kindle, which is chalk full of books I keep forgetting about because they can't just slap me in the face every time I walk past my bookshelves.

And finally, I have an audio book (The Mark of Zorro) that I need to finish, and which will be a nice break for my eyes.

Of course, I reserve the right to stray from these stacks, but honestly, I'll just be happy if I make a good dent in my book club pick, Rules of Civility. And maybe read a few of Margaret Mitchell's letters. And a YA book. I'm so indecisive.

Check back here tomorrow for my official Read-a-Thon post, and you can follow my progress on Twitter. See you tomorrow!

Reading My Own Books Challenge

2012-10-12T14:52:00.002-04:00

I've decided to join Michelle and read only my own books for the rest of this year. (Have you met Michelle yet? You should. She's pretty cool AND has an adorable baby. Go on and check out her blog. I'll wait.)

Are we all back? Ok good. I have 3 exceptions to the only-my-own-books rule.

1) Book club books are exempt because I have no control over them (but there should only be one more book club this year).

2) Audio books (I don't listen to that many anyway, and they're always free from the library).

3) The Casual Vacancy. I know it's gotten terrible reviews but I want to read it anyway. Plus, I'm so far back on the hold list I might not even get it this year.

So. Other than those three exceptions I will only be reading books I currently own. I had to think about this for awhile because I thought I'd feel too restricted; I don't buy books very often and there are SO MANY good ones that I don't own yet. But, surprisingly, once I committed I felt like a weight had been lifted. I don't have to try to keep up with the Joneses, and now I can just focus on the books withering away on my (dusty) shelves. At one point I thought these books were important enough to own, and that hasn't changed just because they're not bright and shiny and new.

Before I had even officially joined this challenge I was still following the basic principles of it. I finally finished up The Swan Thieves (link to review) and am still working on What He's Poised to Do. Next up is my book club pick, Rules of Civility and who knows what else I'll get into during tomorrow's Readathon (squee!).

While this isn't an official challenge, it's still fun to a be a part of the action. Want to follow along? Check us out on Twitter with #RMOB.

The Swan Thieves by Elizabeth Kostova

2012-10-09T21:29:00.001-04:00

Renowned painter Robert Oliver has attacked a painting in the National Gallery of Art. Andrew Marlow, the psychiatrist assigned to his case, only receives the mysterious clue, "I did it for her" before Oliver stops speaking to everyone. But who is the woman Oliver refers to? Marlow begins his search as a doctor hoping to cure his troubled patient, but it becomes a personal quest to discover the link between the women Oliver has left behind. Woven into the mystery is a package of love letters a century old. 19th century France and 21st century America come together in this tale of love, betrayal, secrecy, and artistic genius.

It took me over a month to get through this book. At 565 pages, this is a tome and it reads like one. Not much seems to happen, and yet I was still pulled along through its pages. This is a book for you to savor, to reach for in quiet moments when you want to stroll through landscapes and museums. It won't keep you on the edge of your seat, but you'll spend so much time with the characters you'll begin to forget you've never actually met them.

The ending seemed to come together a bit too easily for me, as if Kostova wanted to tie up her novel in a neat little bow. Otherwise I thought this was a great read. The character development was well-done (as it should be in a book this long), the writing was great, and the plot was intriguing.

4 out of 5 stars

Happy 9 Month Birthday, Emily!

2012-09-22T23:00:00.000-04:00

Congratulations, Emily, on being out in the world for as long as you were in!

I say this every month, but I can't believe how much she's grown. She looks less like a baby to me and more like a little girl.

Emily can now feed herself intermittently (gotta work on that aim). So during meals I'll give her some puffs on her tray that she can play with between spoonfuls of baby food.

She has also learned how to wave and will sometimes do it on command. More often than not it's a minute late, but it's still cute.

Little monkey

Speaking of cuteness, if you get her going Emily can produce some real belly laughs. Aside from her heartbeat on the ultrasound monitor, her laugh is the sweetest sound I've ever heard.

She can also now climb the stairs. But she doesn't know how to go down them, so cue her nervous wreck of a mother. And when I say she climbs them, she scoots. This kid is fast.

Emily's cruising around no problem now, and she can stand on her own for a few seconds at a time. I'm just waiting for the day when she decides to pop up and start walking.

Opening and closing doors (and drawers, for that matter) is a favorite pastime now.

Guess who needs to babyproof

Her newest "trick" is clapping. She's so proud of herself that she figured out how we were making that noise and that she can now replicate it.

She loves playing games like peek-a-boo, or playing tug-of-war with Lizzie (who also seems to find this somewhat entertaining).

She is definitely not a fan of taking naps. Or waking up from naps. Or sleeping in general. But recently she's been doing pretty well on the sleeping at night front, so I'll take the grumpiness.

Still only one tooth, but that second one on the bottom looks like it's going to break through any day now. Here's hoping it goes smoothly.

Emily is still very much a mama's girl (even if she isn't much into snuggling) but she's really starting to make attachments to other people, mostly her daddy and grandparents.

First "boat" ride

She's still babbling, but her most consistent is "mama" (no complaints here!).

Such a sweet, happy girl! Happy 9 month birthday, Emily!

My Personal Philosophy

2012-09-20T13:41:00.000-04:00

**In an effort to actually do the things I pin, as well as post on a more regular basis, I'm following this list of blog topics found here. Not in order, and not in any sort of time frame, but easy come easy go.**

Maybe it's because it's an election year, but I feel the need to state my philosophy on life. Well, actually, I feel the need to have Will Ferrell shout it at you.

God, I love that movie.

Body Image in a Post-Partum World

2012-09-17T15:51:00.002-04:00

**In an effort to actually do the things I pin, as well as post on a more regular basis, I'm following this list of blog topics found here. Not in order, and not in any sort of time frame, but easy come easy go.**

Today seems like an appropriate day to write about this topic because, as it turns out, I just learned I fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans. Not the actual jeans I wore because, like an idiot, I threw those out, but the same size from my favorite store. Cue the party music and happy dances!

Like most women, I don't have the best body image. There seems to always be something to criticize but oh, what I wouldn't give for the body I used to have, the body I used to think needed so much improving (am I right, ladies?)! To be honest, I don't know if I'm really "okay" with my body, but I am much more okay with it than I was pre-pregnancy. Which might sound funny, considering I've got at least an extra ten pounds on me and way more stretch marks and loose skin. But how could I not be proud of this body? It's allowed me to play collegiate-level volleyball, run farther than I ever thought I could, and it's housed my daughter. My body created another person. That's amazing. To quote Katt Williams, "Your body is not ruined. You're a goddamn tiger who earned her stripes."

But just thinking those things isn't enough for me to say, "Hey, my body's been through a lot, who cares if it looks saggy and puffy at the same time?" Knowing what it's accomplished doesn't mean I'm satisfied with where it stands. In fact, because of all my body has been through, I know it can get better. And for the last four or five months I've been working hard, both at the gym and at home, trying to watch what I eat. I'm not perfect. I'll binge. I'll miss a week of workouts. But I always go back. And keep trying. And I won't give up. Because I have a little person who is counting on me to be healthy and fit enough to play with her and be there for her as she grows up. It's not just about me and what I think of my body anymore. It's about my daughter and what she needs from me. And she needs a mom who not only is capable, but a mom who will show her how to love her own body and that it's okay if she's not perfect, because no one is.

So it really does't matter if I think my body is good enough, because in a sense it has to be. Or at least I have to show Emily that I'm okay with it. And if there are times when I'm not, then I will go to the gym and I will watch my portions until I'm happy with my body again. I don't get the luxury of complaining anymore. It's either shut up or take action, and I choose to take action.

An Open Letter to My Ex

2012-09-09T13:07:00.000-04:00

**In an effort to actually do the things I pin, as well as post on a more regular basis, I'm following this list of blog topics found here. Not in order, and not in any sort of time frame, but easy come easy go.**

Dear ___,

Sometimes I wonder if you ever think back to those 8 months we spent together. I wonder if they still hold any significance for you, or if you've all but forgotten your first love (although I have my doubts as to whether you really did love me, or just claimed you did). There are times when I wish I hadn't deleted you from my Facebook account because I would like to see how you are doing. But then I remind myself that exes should not be friends for a reason. What good would come of it? You would see that I am happily married with a little girl and I would see...what? The same? Or that you haven't changed? It makes no difference. Sometimes the past should stay in the past, and dwelling on it would only bring about thoughts and feelings better left buried.

Thoughts like "How could you?" and "Why?" and "Did I really mean that little to you?"

Looking back, I think I see now why we both acted the way we did. We were young, inexperienced, completely new to the world and ourselves. And while I cannot forgive you without an apology (one which I never expect to hear, as I doubt you even realize I deserve one), I can understand.

Sometimes when I drive past your parents' neighborhood I wonder if I will run into you, and what I would say if I did. Would I fake a smile in order to hide my surprise? Or would I try to slip by unnoticed? I doubt I'll ever have an opportunity to find out, and that's okay with me. I don't need to validate my life to you, and I don't need to know the details of yours. To me you will always be the first boy I thought I loved, and my first heartbreak. It's what I needed at the time in order to learn and to grow. You are a point in my past, and you will stay firmly there.

Sincerely,

Amy

Clara and Mr. Tiffany by Susan Vreeland

2012-08-30T10:59:00.000-04:00

Summary:
Inspired by letters written by Clara Driscoll, Susan Vreeland has pieced together an account of the creation of the leaded-glass lamp and the dominance of Tiffany Studios. Once thought to be the brainchild of Louis Comfort Tiffany, son of the King of Diamonds, Vreeland brings to life the work and devotion of Clara, the real creator of this art form. Tiffany's decision to hire female workers protected him from male workers' union strikes, but he refused to hire married women. Luckily (for him, at least) Clara's romances didn't tend to take hold, and she was able to focus her love for art and her leadership abilities on designing one-of-a-kind masterpieces and building up a women's department in a male-dominated work force.

Review:
While I was pulled along by Clara's romantic life and entertained by the cast of characters, the great detailing of how glass lampshades, mosaics, and windows are made was boring. I had no interest in the process to begin with, and Vreeland was meticulous in her descriptions. Personally I think if this aspect had been downplayed slightly, the book could have been shorter and fuller. The in-depth analysis was just too much for me.

I also felt the timing of the book to be a bit erratic. Sometimes months were skipped just as a big project or life decision had to be made, and in the next chapter the big moment had already passed and we were in the future. It was a bit disconcerting, as I had expected more details, but overall it kept the book flowing.

On the plus side, I do love historical fiction and I feel I have a greater understanding of not only Tiffany glass products, but also life at the turn on the 20th century. The characters (and in most cases the real people behind them) are full of life and just the sort of people I would want to know. Dedicated, artistic, eccentric, amicable, and lovable, Vreeland brought to life a group of people that could easily have disappeared into history, if it hadn't been for Clara's letters.

And Clara. Oh, Clara. I think she epitomized the dilemma for women during this time, trying to remain polished and Victorian while at the same time yearning to be a New Woman. Vreeland did a wonderful job of capturing the inner turmoil most women must have felt as they were thrust into a new age. Clara's personal/romantic life is really what kept me going; I couldn't help but cheer her on.

Overall, a good story populated by interesting characters. Worth reading, even if you aren't all that interested in the process behind leaded glass art. And if you are, all the better.

3 out of 5 stars.

Happy 8 Month Birthday, Emily!

2012-08-22T23:27:00.000-04:00

This face. I cannot get enough of it.

This month saw some big changes, as well as set the stage for many more big changes to come.

Emily started babbling full force this month. I know she's not really saying "Mama" but my heart melts every time, anyway.

The mobile had to come down. :-(

She gives big, open mouth kisses, sometimes with a bit of tongue. If it was anyone else's kid I would think it was disgusting, but she's mine so I think it's adorable. Albeit sloppy.

She sat in the grocery cart for the first time, instead of me wearing her. It was much easier to load the food onto the conveyor belt at checkout this way, but I don't think she was really digging it.

The big news of the month is Emily finally has her first tooth! I haven't been able to snap a picture of it yet, but it's definitely there on the bottom left. And it's sharp.

She dances to music. When I start to play some on my phone she lights up, grabs for my phone and starts bobbing up and down.

She also loves to climb, especially when there are other little kids climbing. She wants to be a part of the action! (Side note, anyone else notice that kid on the left photobombing my picture?)

She's getting into cruising mode. She can take a few steps in whatever direction she chooses as long as she's holding onto something (usually the coffee table). And, if she's not thinking about it, she can stand up without support for a few seconds.

She is also getting into everything. I have to watch her like a hawk. Especially since she now knows how to open drawers and take things out.

And one of the things I found most exciting this month: she waved back at me! It was a very slow, deliberate motion, and it was so cute to see her mind turning, figuring out how to make her fingers move in the same way mine were.

As always, I can't believe how fast she's growing up. This month seemed to fly by, even if it did end with teething-followed-by-a-growth-spurt-followed-by-a-cold. It's amazing how much I love this little girl. Happy 8 month birthday, Emily!

Happy 7 Month Birthday, Emily!

2012-07-22T16:19:00.002-04:00

My little girl is 7 months old today! Hard to believe, and yet it's even harder to believe I was ever without her.

She's mastered everything she was working on last month. She is now a very efficient crawler. In fact, she's bored with regular crawling and is now trying to get her feet under her. I've had several people tell me she'll be walking by 9 months. We'll see, but I wouldn't be surprised.

She's also sitting up on her own and can get there from any position. I've had to start weighing her by sitting her on the scale because she refuses to lay down. She's so sick of laying on her back it's a struggle to get her to lay down for anything, including diaper changes which have now become an Olympic sport.

She's also pulling herself up to standing constantly. She loves hoisting herself up and enjoying the view.

While her gross motor skills are awesome, she's still working on her verbal skills. She's babbled once ("dada"...so cute!) but hasn't really put any more consonants and vowels together. This is not to say she's a quiet baby. Nope, the girl can talk. It's just usually more of the screeching variety.

The one development I am not a fan of is her separation anxiety. Baby girl does NOT like to be left alone in a room, and usually prefers that I am in it no matter who else is with her. The days of getting things done in another room (without a crying baby soundtrack) are over. If I just walk to the kitchen from the family room (which are connected and in a direct line of sight of each other) Emily immediately starts crying and crawling towards me. Adorable, right? Sure, but the whining grates on my nerves. It's usually much easier to just wait until she naps before doing any housework. Although I will admit that the snuggle time that has developed from this, while still minimal, is cherished. When she crawls into my lap and up into my arms and grabs on tight...swoon. That makes my entire day worth it.

We've started solids, slowly but surely. She's loving it so far!

I love that she gets so excited about her food she can't even wait for the spoon.

We also started swim classes! We've had one so far and, while Emily wasn't too sure at the beginning, by the end she was loving it as much as I was. She especially loved seeing the other babies and trying to copy them. At the end of class the instructor got out a crate full of rubber duckies for the kids to play with and I had a flashback to what has to be one of my earliest memories. When I was taking swim classes with my mom at a completely different fitness center, they used to get out a crate of rubber duckies at the end as well. It was such a happy memory and it's so amazing for me to now be giving my own daughter the same experiences my mom gave me.

This little girl has so much personality, and it's so fun to watch her learn and explore.

Happy 7 month birthday, Emily!

Hi

2012-07-19T13:07:00.000-04:00

Hi. How have you been? It's been busy over my way. Busy, but wonderful. Not so busy that I can't enjoy the little moments that hold Emily's smiles, but busy enough that even though I put "write blog post" on my to-do list it never actually gets done.

I've been missing my blog, my little corner of the internet. Especially the book reviews. I've been thinking, however, that I should put some sort of statement somewhere on the sidebar stating that a) I'm not accepting review copies (because I sure as hell can't do anything in a timely manner these days) and b) my blog is for those of you who haven't already read the latest, hottest new book (see (a)). While sometimes I do get a chance to pick up a book that's been published within the last couple of months, I very rarely get a review written before half the book blogosphere gets to it first. So maybe my little niche is going to be "reviews of books 'everyone's already read'" or something. I'll have to work on my catchphrase. ;-)

In the meantime, I'm here and I'm thinking of you all. And I am still reading your blogs, I just find it very difficult to comment on my phone, so I'm sorry that I've been absent there as well. Hopefully someday soon this will be more than just an Emily fan page. :-)

Happy 6 Month Birthday, Emily!

2012-06-22T17:06:00.001-04:00

I cannot believe my baby is 6 months old already. When parents say time flies, it really does. Not those first two weeks (or first 3 months) but after that, whew! It's just whizzing by.

Emily has progressed so much in the last month that it's truly amazing. I can't believe how quickly things change.

At the beginning of the month she was just starting to inch-worm her way across the carpet.

Now she's army crawling and gets where she wants in a hurry. Constant supervision is needed, since she won't stay anywhere close to where I put her.

She's working on actual crawling, but hasn't gotten there quite yet. She can balance on her hands and knees, but when she tries to go forward she just kind of lurches. Then she just army crawls her way over to whatever it is that she wants.

She's starting to recognize her own name, which is adorable.

She can't quite sit on her own yet, but she's getting there. She can stay sitting while propped on her arms for a bit, but it seems that once she starts to get the hang of one milestone, she moves onto working on the next before mastering either...

...because now she wants to go from sitting to standing. She loves the higher perspective!

We started the Summer Reading Program at our library this month. I must be doing something right, because when I get the books out to read, she just lights up!

She is all about textures and grabbing things, and either dropping or banging them against a (preferably hard) surface.

One of the cutest things she's started to do is reach for me to pick her up. My heart melts every time.

We've been (passively) working on baby sign language with Emily. The most consistent sign we do is "milk" and, I swear to you, she signed it the other day! Maybe it was just a coincidence, but whatever, I'm convinced my baby's a genius. Now that she's old enough to gesture for things she wants, we're going to step it up and start signing more words with more frequency.

And, I can't believe this, but I have to start thinking about solid foods. I know Emily wants to eat with us. She is captivated by chewing motions and she reaches for any glass or bottle we have and puts it up to her mouth to try to drink (cutest. thing. ever.). She is really starting to use her tongue (she laps the water in the bathtub!) so I think it's time. I just don't know if I'm ready.

Every day I think I couldn't possibly love her more, but the next morning I wake up and I do. Being a mommy is truly amazing. I love watching her grow and learn. I can't even imagine the things she'll be able to do by next month. But the most amazing thing is how much I love just spending time with her. I never want to leave her. She's just such a joy that I want to be around her all the time.

Happy 6 month birthday, Emily! Mommy and Daddy love you!

These Are the Best Days

2012-06-08T15:51:00.001-04:00

It seems as if life is spent constantly looking forward or backward; we either analyze the past or anticipate the future. Rarely do we simply enjoy the moment, relishing the way life is playing out right in front of us.

I'm guilty of this. I've always looked forward to the "next big thing," and I've done my fair share of remembering the "good old days," which didn't seem so good back then. But today I had a revelation. This time right now, this moment in life, this is exactly where I want to be. I know there will come a day when I remember when Emily was a baby, Lizzie was by my side, and Keith and I were living in our first house trying to make it through his residency.

I don't want to look back and know I didn't realize just how great it was. So today, when the doorbell was ringing, Lizzie was barking, Emily was crying, and the phone was ringing, I decided to live in this moment. Because as hectic and stressful as it can be, this is the best moment in my life so far. I feel happy, complete, and totally satisfied in my life. How many people can say that?

The Runner In Me

2012-06-07T23:07:00.000-04:00

I've never been much of a runner. I joined the track team for 2 weeks in 6th grade before quitting because the coach made us run too much. Too many things hurt when I ran: my heels, my knees, my muscles, my lungs. Knowing I had to run a mile in under 7 minutes in order to make the high school volleyball team almost made me want to cry (for a sport that requires short bursts of energy, they sure put a lot of emphasis on long-distance endurance).

But once I stopped playing sports and spent most of my time in class or at a desk, I really missed physical activity. Suddenly I had to worry about staying in shape or watching what I ate - the demands of high school and college-level sports had previously kept me lean and conditioned. Once strict coaches were out of the picture and I had no games to train for, well, I fell off the exercise wagon (although to be fair I did need a break in order to heal). And what could probably be diagnose-able OCD was never more apparent than when I was most sedentary.

I hadn't realized how important exercise was for my physical, mental, and emotional health. But I still hated running. Give me an elliptical and some free weights any day. Except when I didn't have the money for a gym membership and I was sick of all my workout DVDs.

It was when I was working at the library, my first grown-up, full-time job, that I caught the running bug. I was inside a temperature-controlled building (usually sitting) for 9 hours a day and commuting for another hour. I missed fresh air and movement. So one evening, when I just couldn't take another minute of sitting in my apartment, I grabbed my shoes and went outside.

It was glorious. And painful. And there were moments I thought I was going to keel over and die. But there were more moments where I simply enjoyed the smell of clean air, the feel of a warm breeze, and the thought that I could go anywhere I wanted - I was free. And without realizing it, a smile started to creep across my face.

I would say that I worked up to running longer distances (no more than 3 miles), but it was never really work. All I did was challenge myself, to see if I could make it one entire loop around the complex, then a loop with a detour to the front entrance, then past the entrance to the intersection, then all the way to the movie theater and back. And I mostly ran at night, when the air had cooled off, the sun wasn't in my eyes, and my stress level was at its highest. Running calmed my brain and tired me out physically so I could sleep (this is still true, and to this day I consider it cheap therapy).

When my husband and I moved to Indianapolis we didn't live in an addition, and I didn't know the area well enough to run at night (which I still love to do, but don't). I mostly gave up on running until our second year there when I met a friend (hi Nikki!) who ran, in my mind, ridiculous amounts. She told me that 3 miles was the magic number. If you could run past the 3 mile mark, you could run forever. So I tried it.

I signed up for a 5-mile trail run (with Nikki) and finished in 1 hour. It was the second time in my life I had run 5 miles at one time. After that I kept running for awhile, but mainly on a treadmill (booooriiiiiiing). One afternoon, after a break from running and strenuous exercise in general, I decided to lace up, just to get out of the house. I figured I'd run across the street in the addition and head back home. But then I kept going. And going. Halfway through it started to rain and that smile crept back onto my face. It was just like running at night again. I was outside in the fresh air, cooled off by Mother Nature, and I felt freer than I had in a long time. When I got home I calculated that I had run 5 miles.

There's some truth to the 3 mile wall, although I might argue that it's a moving target. Whether it's 3 miles, 5, or 20, there comes a point where you feel like you just can't go another step. (Or, if you're like me, everything hurts and you think this is the stupidest thing you've ever done in your entire life and why oh why are you subjecting yourself to this monotony when you could be inside watching TLC?). But then you keep going for another few minutes because you're already out there, or because you don't want to be a quitter, not today, and suddenly the pain goes away. Your body goes a little numb and you settle into a groove where everything -- your breathing, your footfalls, even your thoughts -- align.

For me, this is when the smile appears. Every time. And I wonder if anyone is looking at the weird lady smiling to herself (especially when I'm on the treadmill), but I don't care. I'm too happy to keep it in. Because this is me at my best. This is me conquering the voices that tell me I can't do this, not with these beat-up knees or post-partum ankles. This is me learning that I can still accomplish anything I set my mind to, and that my body is strong enough to get me where I need to go. This is me.

I Am Not Oppressed

2012-06-04T22:18:00.000-04:00

When I was a kid, if asked the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" my response was usually: "Famous." Obviously I had very specific goals.

As I was growing up I would think things like, "When I have kids, I'm going to let them do [insert whatever my parents did not let me do here]." Don't get me wrong, my parents were amazing. But you always have ideas of what to do better. Like eat Pop Tarts for breakfast. Even when I was an adult and seriously thought that I didn't want children, I would still think of the things I would say or do if I had them, usually in response to how I saw others raising their kids. I was keeping a running list of how I wanted to parent, even when I didn't want to be one.

So it should have come as no surprise when one day I realized that yes, I really did want to be a mom. And not only that, but a stay-at-home mom. I wanted to watch my child grow right before my eyes, and I didn't want to miss a moment.

I will not apologize for being a SAHM, even if society thinks I should. I've gotten my fair share of hurtful comments, people who think I'm lazy or a freeloader for not providing an income. I could go into the argument that being a mom is a 24/7 job, that even if I don't get a paycheck I am still providing for my family, but that's been done and furthermore it's not my point.

Being a parent is 24/7, whether or not you work outside the home. My husband's job is not any less demanding than mine, and vice versa. We are equal partners in our marriage and in parenthood, no matter who pays the bills.

I am lucky enough to be able to stay home with my child, and that is exactly what I want to do. This is my place; this is where I feel comfortable, fulfilled, and happy. No one has the right to judge me for my choices, for my belief that as long as I am able, my place is in the home. Our society seems to have taken the stance that women are oppressed if they stay home to cook, clean, and care for their children.

I am not oppressed.

I am liberated. I am doing exactly what I feel is right for my family.

Why is this even an issue? Why do women (and the occasional man) feel the need to judge and tear each other down over differing lifestyles and choices? I love my job, as frustrating and tiring as it may be. But I also have a deep respect for the moms and dads who need or want to go to work and then come home to their families. Neither option is easy, but both are admirable and worth celebrating.

I do not deserve to be looked down upon for my choices, nor do I need a pat on the back. I, as all mothers, simply want a network of support from friends, family, and other moms. I want a shoulder to cry on when the poop hits the wall (again) and a hand to hold as my baby reaches another milestone.

How you choose to live your life may not be how I would live mine, but I will support you. I hope that you can offer me the same courtesy. The way I see it, we're all in this together.

5 Months Old

2012-05-22T20:38:00.003-04:00

5 months. It seems so old, even though I know in the grand scheme of things she's still so young. But we've hit so many new milestones that I can just see Emily growing right in front of me.

This month we learned to roll from our back to our belly. Tummy time is no longer a hated exercise, and if you lay Emily down on the floor, she may not be where you put her when you come back.

We also transitioned from our bassinet to our crib (during one eventful morning which also included a bath and an emergency run to the store for bigger diapers). We now like to sleep on our belly in our crib.

We are a big fan of giggles in this house. Baby laughs are one of the greatest sounds on the planet (aside from baby heartbeats on an ultrasound monitor).

We had our first (and second) trip to the zoo this month. The sea lions were fascinating until they came too close...then we had had enough.

We found our thumb and decided we like it much better than any pacifier. Totally fine, considering this means going to sleep is much easier now. Also, everything goes in the mouth.

We are getting so good at reaching and grabbing for things, and we love to explore faces - put the two together and we're pretty good at pulling Mommy's glasses off her face early in the morning.

We love to blow raspberries and just the other day we started to make kissing noises (kind of...make a fish face, then quickly open your mouth and you get the gist of it).

We're all about the babbling, and many mornings I'll wake up to Emily talking to herself in her crib.

We've started to learn that we can interact with the world around us. We have a lion carseat toy that plays different songs when you pull on the handle. Emily has learned that she can make the lion make noise when she pulls on it. She loves it so much she hangs onto it when she's sleeping. So cute.

We also like our ladybug, especially when Mommy puts it outside!

I can't believe how much she's grown. Emily was 14 pounds 10 ounces at her weigh-in last week, she's in size 2 diapers, and she's wearing 6 month clothes. While she has stopped consistently sleeping through the night, she does have a pretty coherent schedule throughout the day and breastfeeding has become quick and easy.

Emily, your daddy and I love you more than anything in the world, and we can't believe how quickly you're growing up. As much as we want you to stay our sweet little baby, it's so fun seeing you discover all the new things you can do. Happy five month birthday, little one!

Motherhood

2012-05-13T08:00:00.000-04:00

You know that feeling you have when you first fall in love with somebody? That head-over-heels, can't-get-enough-of-your-love-babe kind of feeling? Motherhood is like that. Only better. And stronger.

It's so full of love that 2 am feedings are just an excuse to hold her, and you miss them when she starts sleeping through the night.

It's finding strength you never knew you possessed in order to protect and care for this new being.

It's everything you've heard, but to a degree you've never understood.

It's soft breath in your ear, soft skin on your cheek, and a feeling of completeness with the weight of your sleeping baby in your arms.

It's peace.

Happy Mothers' Day.

Wordless Wednesday

2012-04-25T05:43:00.001-04:00

Cades Cove, Great Smoky Mountains National Park

4 Months. Where Has the Time Gone?

2012-04-22T17:02:00.000-04:00

Happy 4 month birthday to my little Emily! Now that the colic has subsided, time seems to be flying by. Each new stage is the best one yet, and I just can't wait to have so may new experiences with my little peanut.

In the last month Emily has changed so much.

She holds her head up without any problems (and subsequently loves to be able to look out at her surroundings when we carry her!).

She is starting to giggle and laugh and it is The Cutest Thing Ever.

She is definitely finding her voice. She squeals now, which is super cute when she's happy, but super not cute when she's angry.

The big news is that she rolled over! She rolled from her tummy to her back three times, but has yet to show any inclination to do it again. Still not a big fan of tummy time, this one.

And she's ::thisclose:: to rolling from her back to her front. I walked out of the room for a minute the other day and came back in to find her butt up in the air and her all but rolled over except for that one arm that just wouldn't move out of the way.

She is getting super good at grabbing for things she wants, and she's even able to hold onto them. I find it so fun to hand her a new toy/blanket/burp cloth and just watch her as she discovers it and what her hands can do with it.

Here's how she was grabbing things at 3 months...

...and here's where she is now. She can grab with purpose and hang onto items (and she really likes to see herself in the mirror!).

She has discovered her feet. Cue the super adorableness of a baby that grabs her own feet and is fascinated by them.

She follows me/my voice extremely well. I love that she knows who I am and looks for me.

And finally, she wants to sit up so badly. She gets so frustrated when all she can manage is to lift her head and legs into the air (looking like she's doing a mini form of the boat pose in yoga). She is extremely grateful whenever anyone lets her grab their fingers so she can pull herself into a sitting position. (This video also shows her grabbing a bit better than the other one does.)

I'm starting to get a sense of her personality and let me tell you, we're going to have our hands full. She is ornery and stubborn (much like each of her parents - I'm afraid she got a double dose) but also snuggly and loving.

Her smiles just melt my heart and I'm so happy and proud to be her mama.

It's Time to Read-a-Thon!

2012-04-21T08:00:00.000-04:00

Here we go! I'll be updating this post throughout the day so check back (scroll down) for updates, and you can also follow me on Twitter.

My main goal for the day is to finish The House at Riverton by Kate Morton, since it's my book club pick for Monday. After that I don't have any specific goals, and I'm going to have to be pretty flexible. This is my first time read-a-thoning with an infant so I don't expect to really be able to get a lot of things done. But that's okay. I really just want to hang out with you guys!

Hour 2 -- Well I had planned on going back to bed after feeding Emily, but she didn't eat as much as I had hoped so I was able to read for about 15 minutes while eating some oatmeal that didn't get cooked all the way through (gross). Now, however, it's back to bed. I'll catch up with you all later!

Minutes read: 15
Pages read: 9

Hour 6 -- We're up and reading! I'm getting so close to the end of The House at Riverton and I can barely stand the suspense. It's a good thing Emily's already eaten, because I don't think I could stand to put off the end any longer.

Listening to: one of Emily's musical toys. On repeat.
Total pages read: 30

Hour 7 -- Done! And Oh. My. God. What a good book! I can't wait to discuss it with my friends at book club. I couldn't wait for Emily to nap before finishing it, so now that I've put her down I think it's time for a shower and maybe check out some of the mini-challenges!

Total pages read: 42
Total number of books finished: 1 (The House at Riverton)

Hour 8 -- Showered up and ready to go (and Emily's still napping!). Since I finished my only goal of this readathon, I'm feeling pretty great. Now I can ease into whatever book(s) I want and have some fun with all the mini-challenges.

Up next: Between, Georgia by Joshilyn Jackson
Eating: leftover pizza
Drinking: copious amounts of Crystal Light Raspberry Lemonade
Listening to: sweet, sweet silence
Total number of pages read: 42
Total number of books finished: 1
Mini-challenges completed: 3

Hour 11 -- Back from a walk with the babe and dog, and I spent some time catching up on Twitter and some more mini-challenges. I'm loving this laid-back read-a-thon. Now if Emily goes down for another nap, I could get some more reading done...

Currently reading: Between, Georgia (and loving it!)
Total number of pages read: 56
Total number of books finished: 1
Mini-challenges completed: 5

Hour 14 -- Well, I haven't done much reading since my last update. I have, however, gotten some other things done that needed doing, so I'm still feeling like I accomplished something. And really, my goal has already been met, so it doesn't really matter that I haven't read much more. And hey, Emily even got a bath! I'm going to try to read a bit more once the little one goes to bed, but she's still wide awake so we'll see how it goes.

Total number of pages read: 56
Total number of books finished: 1
Mini-challenges completed: 6

Hour 15 -- Well, guys, that's it for me. The husband's home, the baby's asleep, and it's time for a glass of wine. I'll be cheering the rest of you on but for me, it's bed time. :-)

Total number of pages read: 60
Total number of books finished: 1
Mini-challenges completed: 6

(My First) Wordless Wednesday

2012-04-18T00:27:00.001-04:00

Cabin in the woods, TN 2012.

For more Wordless Wednesday, click here.