wesonga

2012-01-18T12:50:00.001-08:00

I have found the cell phone.
A friend, in whose car I had dropped it, gave me the phone.

2012-01-17T17:10:00.000-08:00

I do not have my cell phone.
I have ransacked my hovel and still can't find the damn thing.
Its battery was done, so dialing the number did not help at all.
So? Do not call me, do not send me text messages and do not get
offended when you fail to get through to Wesonga via mobile.

"I am dying because I did not accept the governor's pardon"

2012-01-14T02:09:00.001-08:00

A young man who lived in the Western states had never done anything [criminally] wrong.

But one day while playing a game of cards he lost his temper. Picking up a revolver, he shot and killed his opponent. He was arrested, tried and sentenced to hang.

Because of the wonderful life he had previously lived, his relatives and friends got up a petition for him…

Before long other towns and villages had heard about it, and people all over the state eagerly signed.

At last it was taken to the governor, who happened to be a Christian, and tears came to his eyes as he looked

at the large baskets filled with petitions. He decided to pardon the young man; so, writing out a pardon, he put it in his pocket, then dressed in the garb of a clergyman, he made his way to the prison.

As the governor approached the death cell the young man sprang to the bars: "Get out of here," he cried. "I don't want to see you. I have had enough religion at home. Seven of your kind have visited me already."

“But,” interrupted the governor, “wait a moment, young man; I have something for you. Let me talk to you.”

“Listen,” exclaimed the young man in anger, “if you don’t get out of here at once, I’ll call the guard and have you put out.”

“But, young man,” continued the governor, “ I have news for you – the very best. Won’t you let me tell you about it?”

“You heard what I said,” replied the young man, “and if you don’t leave immediately, I’ll call the warden.”

“Very well,” replied the governor, and with a dad heart he turned and left… - The Arlington Times, August 26, 1954

Going to to a bar, armed

2011-02-11T22:17:00.000-08:00

Later today,
I will go to a bar armed.
I must shoot one of those blokes,
who leave their wives at home eating
kales, peanut sauce, maize meal and arrowroot
The Bible be my gun,
The Scriptures my bullets
The Holy Spirit the Police
Those drunks must carry home the steak and wine to share with their families
So help me Jesus Christ, God

You've changed

2011-02-07T22:24:00.000-08:00

You've
Changed
Not even the Father
Will stop you
From flirting with the Serpent
Did He not let Satan play with work
I am just soil
You with enough molars, premolars, canines and incisors
And with cerebrum
And think
Think
You have not changed?

Mama is ‘killing’ me, with text messages

2010-11-30T04:04:00.000-08:00

Mama, I regret teaching you how to compose and send cell-phone text messages.

Indeed, you have come a long way, from when you used to excitedly send blank messages and would delete incoming ones before you had even read them.

Now that you have learnt, you are outdoing Kenya’s yu network in filling my Inbox with text messages, everyday.

In as far as these messages are concerned, mama, you have also beaten my fiancée, who every four hours texts to find out how my day is.

When a street urchin took your first mobile phone, you decided to buy a new one, with a line. But you did not alert me.

You just bombarded me with text messages that read, “I love you, Nelson.” That was sweet of you. But, my fiancée, from whom I hide nothing, thought I was not being straight with her.

That was because, mama, you forgot to sign your name. That turned the sweetness to surprise. It beats even the strongest - that surprise.

Since the Kenyan and Ugandan mobile telecommunications companies had not yet lowered their calling rates, I did not call or text back.

You will tell me, in the next text message whether my not replying or calling back made you realise that that number was unknown to me.
After all, you seem to havesimply typed the message, consulted your notebook and then pressed the phone’s‘OK’ button.

By the way, does Dad still tell you, “I love you”?

Mama, you know I love you. So, what is this craze with “I love you” messages? Surely, we cannot reduce it to competition between you and my woman-friend. Woman-friend, you ask? Well, like, Christiana Aguilera, Vivienne Wesonga is ‘not a girl, not anymore’.

You are the one (more than father) who used to harass me for grandchildren. Vivienne and I have given you three - enough for a kindergarten - to make noise and fart in your presence, which will remind you of your son.

Is that not enough?

Why the hourly text messages? I do not know of any network that is allowing its subscribers to text for free.

Remember, mama, in those days (2003) you could not bring yourself to press one key twice or thrice, and fast, because the cell-phones then did not have a ‘Qwerty’ board.

And when I used to send you text messages, you would delete them before reading them. It was not that you did not want to read them, no. Like the men who stoned Stephen of the Bible, you did not know ‘what you were doing’.

We had fewer mobile telecommunications networks – just Kencell, Safaricom, MTN, uganda telecom, and Celtel, which has since changed names many times that we are giving Airtel just a few years before it’s ancestors DNA manifests.

Mama, you used to have problems with the most basic of phones. At first, I thought it was about the keys being small. So you got a cell-phone with fairly sized keys. Still nothing.

And phone manufacturers thought up the ‘Qwerty’ keys.

These days we have those with 39, with 10 for the numbers and 26 for the letters of the alphabet.

Besides, I taught you it because I could not be on phone now and then, talking. It was costly then.

It was not the cheap Sh3 per second service providers charge subscribers these days. Then, it cost anything from USh300 to USh420 per minute (USh5 per second to USh7 per second).

You know I love you, too, mama. So, why are you are killing me with those “I love you” messages?

Where is the Christian in William Ruto?

2010-11-23T01:49:00.000-08:00

Kenyan newspapers tell us that Eldoret North Member of Parliament, William Ruto, has a relationship with God.

So serious it is that besidesbeing raised by a devout Christian mum, Mr. Ruto wakes up at 4a.m. to meditate with the good Lord.

One of the dogmas of Christianity is forgiveness, forgiving those who wrong you.

Going by Mr. Ruto’s utterances (relayed by the media), the Prime Minister, Raila Odinga, has irked him.

So, since he is a Christian, one would expect Mr Ruto to forgive Mr. Raila – assuming that Mr. Raila has indeed wronged Mr. Ruto.

But Mr. Raila would not ask for forgiveness for something he has not done. And it is partly on the basis of non-repentance that Mr. Ruto says that his friendship with Mr. Raila is ‘finished’.

And after ‘testing the waters’ in August 2010, where he believes he,largely, marshalled two million Kenyans to vote against the Draft Law, Mr. Ruto ‘intends’ to use those voters in 2012 to ‘punish’ Mr. Raila.

According to the Interim Independent Electoral Commission (IIEC), North Rift has one million voters (1, 049, 299).

Mr. Ruto’s differences emanate from Mr Raila’s comment in 2008 that in as far as the 2007 post-election violence is concerned, everybody should ‘carry his/her cross’.

Well, Mr. Raila carried his cross. His name was allegedly in the draft Commission of Inquiry into Post-Election Violence (CIPEV) report.

It was allegedly expunged - like the illegal insertion in the Draft Constitution (which has since become Law) - by unknown forces.

Mr. Raila’s comment meant that Mr. Ruto should clear doubts about his alleged role in stoking the violence in North Rift.

Mr. Ruto also claimed the Prime Minister did not fight for the release of youth who police arrested on suspicion of having fanned the post-election violence.

And, to make matters worse, the P.M. was at the forefront of reclaiming the Mau Forest. It meant evicting squatters from that important water catchment tower.

Mr. Ruto, on the other hand, has been behaving as though public opinion has indicted only him, which would deny him a fair trial – either due to his restlessness or the media’s rehashing of information contained in the CIPEV report.

And since he believes the suspects were killing in the hope that it would propel of Mr. Raila to State House then, he felt that Raila should have stood up at least for the youths against the allegations they faced.

Now that Mr. Raila has not behaved as Ruto expected, the unchristian conduct of Mr Ruto has been thrust into the public domain.

Mr. Ruto speaks vindictively, which leaves one wondering whether besides professing Christianity and talking to God, Mr. Ruto finds it in his heart to do as Jesus Christ said 2, 000 years ago – love your enemies.

Even Machiavelli, in whose areaMr Ruto is now employed,advises politicians to make use of their enemies.

Former South African President, Nelson Mandela, did it with his ‘rival’ Mr. Mongusutu Buthelezi. Once, when leaving for an official visit abroad, Mr. Mandela left Mr. Buthelezi in charge – as acting President.

Unfair

2010-11-19T14:12:00.001-08:00

Bill Gates
Said, “Life is not fair. Get used to that.”

One should, lest it wastes one. Just shine, do it.

If this will console one;
The Philosopher said, “We’ve seen slaves on horseback while noblemen walk.”

One thought they were more deserving. But this life, it is unfair.

tiny

2010-11-16T00:30:00.000-08:00

I will,

If only
I can stop
Observing and profiling, mentally
If only
I also stop thinking -
that what others think
is the best,
to me - it is not the best.

This exposure...

I would bury my veins
I would become pregnant
I would have a drone sting my cheeks

I am tiny

My friends

2010-11-03T08:42:00.001-07:00

Are my friends my friends
Are my friends my enemies
Are my enemies my friends
Are my enemies my enemies

ICJ-K, rest assured – al Bashir won’t come

2010-10-17T10:49:00.000-07:00

Of the International Criminal Court (ICC) and the International Commission of Jurists (ICJ) Kenya Chapter, one takes the ICC more seriously.

Once the ICC indicts somebody – be they Congolese rapists, Sierra Leonean butchers, Ugandan paedophiles and bandits or a Liberian profiteer – such characters cup their crotches.

A toddler’s unclipped nail is deadlier
So when the ICJ barks, exposing its gum, it does not scare some people. Even a toddler’s unclipped nail is deadlier than the ICJ-K’s bit.

Anyway, on Sunday October 17, 2010, the Nation carried a story titled ICJ seeks orders to arrest Bashir

Omar al Bashir is the President of the Sudan.

The ICC indicted him on July 14, 2008 for alleged genocide, crimes against humanity and murder in Darfur region of Africa’s largest country.

The ICJ-K knows al Bashir will not visit soon
The ICJ-K should know President al Bashir is unlikely to show up in Kenya anytime soon.

It will not be because the ICJ-K has put the government of Kenya on notice.

But the ICJ-K would not mind taking credit for his not coming – after all, the organisation would have raised dust about his ‘intended’ visit.

People; get tads lose.

Of recent, what has been happening in Kenya?
First, note that the IGAD meetings are a regular feature. And they are open to all regional leaders.

They were conceived on the premise that no of them will be indicted. But should one of them be indicted, the interests of the group will be taken into consideration.

Now reflect on Kenya’s big guys itineraries last week, and this week’s.

What were the issues of public debate last week?

What issues are likely to dominate the news this week (Sunday, October 17– Saturday, October 23, 2010)?

Many did not know al Bashir would visit when he did in August

Al Bashir’s visit to Nairobi on Friday, August 27 caught many of the ICJ-K fellows unawares.

This is why ICJ-K’s info about ‘expected’ visit for the IGAD meeting should not be swallowed whole.

Could it be that some faceless characters gossiped with their ICJ-K bar mates that al Bashir would be in Nairobi again.

Distracting the public from other national issues
This would deflect attention from issues like whether President Mwai Kibaki Higher Education Minister William Ruto from the Cabinet.

The last time he was here, it was partly to make a statement –he can visit other African countries, despite the ICC indictment.

But he is not the type to overstay his welcome.

On Friday, August 27, 2010, the bloke did not even stay for the five-course luncheon at State House Nairobi. He was fasting, of course.

But, as did Comoros President Ahmed Abdallah Mohamed Sambi, al Bashir could have at least gone to Nairobi’s Jamia Mosque for Friday prayers.

Don't expect much from Uncle unless his interest in overriding
In global politics, some States can engage in dubious activities as long as they do not step on the toes of the Big Brother.

Uganda’s Yoweri Museveni can lock up his serious political opponents and the United States Assistant Secretary of State for African Affairs Johnnie Carson won’t care.

And presently, Kenya – just like Uganda, Burundi and Rwanda – is crucial in the Uncle Sam’s war against Al-Qaeda.

Kenya not only borders Somalia, it also has a harbour where the States ships could easily dock as the standby servicemen wait for orders to move into Somalia.

Don't worry

2010-10-14T04:27:00.000-07:00

When the Devil closes the door
Don't worry since Jesus Christ opens another

President Museveni had just 27 guns

2010-10-07T03:38:00.000-07:00

So? A no-fly zone over Somalia will not be a solution to the Somali crisis.

Museveni wants Somalia airports and docks blocked
Instability in Somalia is bad for the Great Lakes region, that’s true.

Because of it, the countries neighbouring Somalia - Kenya, Ethiopia, Djibouti, and even Uganda - host Somali refugees.

Though taken care of by the United Nations refugee agency, the refugees add on the strain on social infrastructure of the host countries.

Those neighbours, therefore, will welcome any effort that will make Somalia peaceful. And many proposals are being made.

The most ‘recent’ is by Uganda’s President Yoweri Museveni on October 6 that the United Nations should enforce a no-fly zone over Somalia and block its seaports.

President Museveni believes that this will make it hard for the insurgents to rearm.

But, seriously, will a no-fly zone and the sealing off of Somalia’s seaports provide a long term solution - help defeat the al Shabaab?

Not really.

It will be just a short term solution.

President Museveni had 27 guns
And President Museveni should know better.

He went to the bush in 1980 with just 27 guns. Look where he is today. Many people in Luweero were reportedly not hostile to the National Resistance Army.

Somali insurgents are likely to borrow ideas from elsewhere.

For instance, the Israelis have blockaded the Gaza Strip for four years (from 2006), hoping to secure the release of a kidnapped Israeli soldier. That soldier is still in captivity.

In the Middle East, Isreali is blockading the Gaza Strip
And the Israeli blockade has not stopped ingenious Palestinians from burrowing tunnels to Egypt from where they even ‘import’ cars.

Necessity, it is said, is the mother of invention. The Somali insurgents could turn out to be just as ingenious as the Palestinian fighters.

When Kenyans turned on each other in January 2008 following the disputed December 2007 Elections, some people used machetes and bows and arrows on their perceived ‘enemies’.

Granted, such ‘primitive’ weapons may not be a match for the sophisticated weaponry that the Ugandan and Burundian troops in Mogadishu have.

People feel unsafe
But type improvised by the insurgents serve as a constant reminder to the population that the common people are not safe.

So, in Somalia’s case, not even force or an increase in troop numbers - as the African Union suggested following the July 11 suicide bombing in Kampala - is good enough.

In 1992, the United States of America tried with Blackhawk choppers to dislodge Mohammed Farah Aideed. History students now know that the US ‘might’ did not help.

Also, look at the Democratic Republic of Congo, which is reputed to have the largest number of UN troops (about 17, 000). The MaiMai militia still causes havoc when it is up to it.

It is time the media question the line often purveyed by some military officials that this or that is a tactical or strategic battle.

Dialogue with the insurgents
The International community should instead hold talks with the Somali insurgents. They are human beings. They must be amiable, some of them at least.

And stop propping the Transitional Federal Government (TFG). That just builds resentment among the Somali indigenes.

Besides, the TFG is disorganised. Now and then minister this, prime minister that resigns.

Side with neither the TFG nor insurgents
But with the neighbouring countries and the International community generally taking sides in the battle between the militia and the TFG, it will be harder and will take longer to secure long term peace.

Yo boss

2010-09-22T05:41:00.000-07:00

Time has come

For us to part ways

You to be bossed
Me to a boardroom

Which will be better, only dividends will tell

The paper won't die, the reporter just has to learn new tricks

2010-09-17T02:50:00.000-07:00

Every morning, when Aggrey Mutambo arrives at office he logs onto the Internet.

He is not addicted to the Web, no. It is just that his job requires him to read and write a lot.

So he goes through the electronic messages news sources and colleagues sent him and, of course, he then crafts replies.

It is after that that he reaches for a hardcopy of the day’s newspapers. They are Online, but he prefers the hardcopies.

Unexpected
That is surprising. He is a spring chicken. Those who predicted newspapers would die because of the Internet were basing on Mutambo’s generation penchant for all things technological.

Even Microsoft founder Bill Gates predicted hard times for newspapers.

According to Gates, the number of people who buy…newspapers and…read them has started to inexorable decline, with 2012 being the final deadline.

But, are newspapers dying?

The newspaper is not dying, not yet, at least not in Africa

Nation Media Group Ltd is East Africa’s leading media conglomerate.

The Sunday Nation, its most read publication circulates up to 250, 000 copies. The Daily Nation on average sales 160, 000 copies.

According to NMG Chief Executive Officer, Linus Gitahi, print is losing readership in America and Britain.

He adds: "But it is drastically gaining readership in Asia and Africa… But African papers should not make the mistake of clinging to the good old print while ignoring digital."

Charles Onyango Obbo is NMG's Executive Editor for Africa and Digital Media Division.

He says "Europe - like America - has seen newspapers suffer. In Africa, we probably have eight more years."

That is because the Information Age generation will will carry their high use of the Internet into adulthood.

Well, there are people who grew up wearing bell-bottoms but discard them for double-breast suits - because they are the rage. There are many young people today who turn to 1980s fashion because that is the fad. Are papers very different? Habits?

Mr. Obbo also says that by as early as 2015, the price of a week's browsing will be Sh35 or less.

Mr. Mutambo has 'free' access to Internet. But he still 'hunts' for the hardcopy.

Mr. Mutambo says, “I once had problems finding and reading the editorial and cartoon on an online newspaper. And sometimes I want to look at the ads, which are easier to locate in hardcopies.”

This means that for as long as people believe it is more convenient to read a hardcopy than a soft version, newspapers will still be with us for generations to come.

Mr Obbo says most the new working force of the next few years will not come to town to work, but will do so from home or the suburbs. The suburbs have supermarkets, which sell newspapers.

He adds that as newspapers in the west close, newsprint will become much more costly for the few people who have to print newspapers.

The law of demand and supply, sometimes, holds that when supply exceeds demand, the price should fall - as a way to get more people to buy a good or service.

In eight years, Mr. Obbo says, newsprint prices and other products that go into making a newspaper would put pressure that could lead to a cover price of Sh50-60 for a daily paper.

Meanwhile, the cost of advertising will continue to fall because of competition from the internet.

Well, as of 2006, according to Borrell Associates, a media research firm, the Web sites of newspapers collect US$2 billion a year in advertising revenue. That is a fraction compared to the US$48 billion ad revenue raked in for print publications each year.

Former Chairman of the International Press Institute, Peter Preston, writing in the Global Journalist 2002; said "The Web and print are not in fundamental competition. They flourish best when the exist in parallel, with parallel audiences."

Alright, the Daily Nation as of June 2010 was havaing about nine million hits per month. But the company is yet to convert that number into revenue.

And Kenya, though it has 3, 359, 600 Internet users, only 1, 168, 000 are active users.

In many an African town or city, one will often see double-breast-suited men reading newspapers – at the vendors spot.

These guys simply pay a third of the recommended retail price of the paper and the vendor allows them to read.

Do they have access to the Internet at office? Then why not read the paper online?

That affects the sales of whichever paper that vendors rents out. Surely, we should be asking why these chaps would rather hire the paper than read it.

Newspapers not 'sitting'.

Mr. Obbo, again.

He says newspapers are cutting back on staff, going aggressively digital, or shutting down the print edition all together -- e.g. The Christian Science Monitor -- and becoming an all web publications.

Last week, the world's most prestigious newspaper - The New York Times - said that by 2015 it might be an all-digital publication.

From a reporting point of view, newspapers have gone into "day two" and "day three" journalism, trying to answer the "so what" and "why" questions, instead of what, where, when.

The papers are using devices like graphics, maps, fact boxes and sidebars to appeal to the youth. The writers are writing shorter and yet colourful stories.

Gerry Loughran, writing in 2008, said the Daily Mail has improved circulation and profits year after year while its competitors have succumbed to a worldwide trend of ever dwindling sales.

True, the Sun’s circulation has reduced.
According to McQuail and Siune (1998), the Sun had a circulation of 3, 929, 000. The same paper, as of 2008 was selling 3, 095, 993 units.

Simple observation shows that people will ask for hardcopies of a newspaper even when they have access to Internet.

Newspapers and newsmagazines aren’t dying just yet – Reena Vadehra - If the online revenues at newspapers continue to grow at the current rate – an improbable 33 percent a year – they won’t reach the levels equivalent with print until 2017 (assuming print grows just 3 percent a year)

Journalists simply have to learn how their audience wants its reports.

That is what NMG is doing with its reporters, teaching them Day Two Journalism.

Silence of the members

2010-09-17T01:53:00.000-07:00

Uganda’s President Yoweri Museveni is good.

But he is just as scary as he is good.

According to the Chief Whip of the political party that President Museveni founded in the early 1980s, the President expressed the displeasure of the military with politically instigated violence.

Just see Museveni softens on independents

The President is the C-in-C
That was a veiled threat by the Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of Uganda to the disgruntled members of the National Resistance Movement.

Some members had said they would participate in the forthcoming election as independents because they felt the system had ‘rigged’ them out of the contest.

Well, President Museveni’s retort was We shall not tolerate independents who after losing in the party primaries, decided they would contest as independents.

The hidden message:

If they think they have the means to violence, there is a much bigger force, the Uganda People’s Defence Force (UPDF).

However educated its officers may be; they still answer to the C-in-C. Presently, that C-in-C is Yoweri Museveni.

The next General Election
Uganda will have its next General Election in February 2011.

The various political parties, therefore, had to hold party primaries to pick those who will stand on their party’s tickets.

Things went reasonably well for political parties, except the NRM.

The head teacher cannot have to have a disorganized house, one that the neighbours will point at and say, “Look, we are not as bad as the other household.”

The most chaotic primaries
The NRM’s primaries were the most chaotic.

Candidates pulled guns on their opponents. So scary; if they could do this to themselves, what will they do when the stakes will the higher.

2011 is done, think post-2016
By 2016 the impatient folks in the NRM will think that President Museveni would have had enough time determine how Uganda’s oil and other natural resources are shared out.

The violence just showed the First Citizen that if these blokes could violently angle for smaller posts, what will they think of calling the shots - some time - in the future?

it's complicated

2010-08-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

dealing with evolved apes
no different from chameleones
and bitches that have just pushed puppies

Adam’s great grandson won’t give up beer

2010-06-24T13:21:00.000-07:00

About three thousand years ago, Jesus Christ’s father expelled my great grandparents from Eden.

God ordered Grandpa Adam and Grandma Eve out of the Garden of Eden because they had eaten the forbidden fruit, whatever that meant, contrary to His order.

He had told them not to eat it because if they did they would know the difference between good and evil. Eating that fruit symbolised the beginning of sin.

On 11th June 2010, Kenya’s Minister for Finance Uhuru Kenyatta increased ‘sin tax’. That is the tax on non-essentials like cigarettes, beer, liquor, and perfumes.

While Mr Kenyatta expects the Sh10 excise duty on each litre of beer to help Kenya Revenue Authority collect Sh2.5 billion in 2010/2011, it will not stop me from drinking – as my buddies think.

On issues to do with alcohol I am a member. Later that Thursday, a bartender on Banda Street, Nairobi charged me Sh20 more for beer that used to cost Sh180.

It meant that even before Mr Kenyatta could swallow saliva after he had mentioned beer, bars and brewers increased the prices of their alcoholic beverages. Clearly, they had gained from the Budget.

But remember that the Financial Year will end on June 30. So the prices should, ideally, be increased or reduced effective July 1.

Anyway, the higher beer price will not put me off because in my profession, journalism, late nights out are unavoidable.

And you don’t just walk the streets profiling figure-eight wenches, thugs with wedge-shaped chests and introducing yourself to flat-bottomed policemen on patrol. You have to gather information for publication.

Night duty involves speaking to people. Those with serious information will not give it to you at office because they will be sober and recall that the Official Secrecy Act forbids. And employers will readily sack workers who breach the Act.

Luckily alcohol has helped to loosen the tongues of many people, provided they do not blackout. So you have to go to a tavern and order for drinks, mainly the alcoholic ones, for you and your sources.

And lo! Those informers guzzle beer. It is not different from pouring water through a fish’s gills. You will never give the fish enough. I come from Lake Victoria region, so take my analogy as expert observation.

At the bar, the lavatories and banter serve as the gills.

After paying the Banda Street barman Sh200, I cogitated about options of scotching my throat and liver but at either no extra or a lower cost.

There have to be dingy taverns where a beer costs not more than Sh180.

The other option is for me to form a cooperative society. All I have to do was write a persuasive proposal to my friends who take the frothy stuff and its more potent cousin called liquor so that we pool funds for our evenings out.

With the kitty, we would easily pay a particular bar upfront for our drinks for a month. Or for variety, we would pay different bars on weekly basis. And insist that the owner keeps a register for us.

We know how many bottles of beer can get us tipsy. Multiply that number by thirty days and the members. So once we get to the bar, we ask the bartender to Chafua meza. And he or she will place the frothy stuff in brown bottles on our table. That way we will not feel the Sh10 tax because all the barman would ask of us is to sign in the book.

Jesus Christ, remember when you were in a Middle East country whose pirates in May commandeered flotillas in international waters?

While there, you told my namesake Paul to tell Galatians like me that drunks will not have a part of God’s Kingdom.

You later told him to tell Brother Timothy to stop taking only water, and drink a little wine [because the water was not pure]. Many of my sources are called Timothy.

Jesus Christ, you ain’t going expel me from the bars.

Paid to study, Doctorate on sale

2009-12-30T01:40:00.000-08:00

Hello, my on and off friend, Mr. Yoweri Museveni

Nsaba Buturo prefixes your name with His Excellency

He needs the jobs you rotate him through; I don’t lest people wrongly accuse you of nepotism, tribalism

Obviously, Buturo does not share that mutual friendship that we (you and me) do

Now, friend I want to let you know that I will be exiled soon
as was COBBO – by the same business partner based more in Paris

But since I am not as wanted as Wole Soyinka was by Sani Abachi,
Oga land’s SSS equivalent in For God and My Country will not stop me from leaving the Pearl

Friend, I feel bad being exiled to a patch where if you survive mugging, then you are look cheap

Friend, I also feel good because, like mama and papa were during their studies at university,
I will be paid to attend classes (I hope the thugs do not read this bit, otherwise I will be mugged)

Yes, Mr. Yoweri
See, you must be happy for me.

We are supposed to graduate together in January 2010.

At the place where the lecturers are stuck in the past asking you to fulfil a promise you made in April 2004 about paying them better than The New Vision Publishing Corporation photojournalists who presently earn more than our 'dispensers of knowledge', imagine!

You with a doctorate in agriculture,

me with just a mere undergraduate degree certificate in Mass Communication.

By the way, how much do our lackeys at Finance Economic Development and Planning allocate to agriculture annually?

It must be more seventy times seven the amount you advise them to allocate to defence; otherwise those professors with head damage would not nominate you for that doctorate.

Mr. Yoweri, what do those folks at the Ivory Tower want from you?

At least all I need from you and me friendship, Presidential Guard Brigade will agree, are pictures and memorable quotes from your.

Not even pictures of you and me, no, but of you alone (or with the retinue of sycophant ministers who
deceive country ignoramuses that the former are principled representatives of the presidency) at all angles until you tire of posing for the Canon EOS 450D rebel™

I suspect the folks at the Harvard of Africa want money from you (they know what you - through
Tumusiime Mutebile at the Central Bank - did for Hassan Basajjabalaba and Kananathan whenever they
needed billions of legal tender to spend on only you know what) and for you to stop bashing that tower and its administrators

Lately, they have been more aggressive in raising money. Ask Professor Ali Mazrui,
former Tanzanian head of state, Mr. Benjamin Mkapa, and now yourself what you have in common

Ability -
to mobilise funds. These folks know that. But to appear well-intentioned, cloak some with doctorates.

Now that they are ingratiating, you can introduce your brand of development studies that the late Professor Akiiki Mujaju rejected because you allegedly wanted to indoctrinate weak students

Your brand of development studies would ensure that the largely uncritical numskulls who
graduate from the secondary schools patriotism classes appreciate the bull that was poured in their medulla oblongata

Mr. Yoweri, unlike COBBO, I will be back when things heat-up just before February 2011.

With the money earned, I will buy you that bulldozer you talked about just after the 2001 circus

I must return, Mr. Yoweri, because I do not want to miss the clobbering, disappearances, poison injections, stage-managed motor accidents and bricks fastened to enemies’ nuts as an alligator watches by.

If God could ask of Abraham his only son; Chieftaincy of Military Intelligence, Rapid Response unit, Internal Security Organisation, External Security Organisation, and the militarised Police should ask your supporters to sacrifice business partners as Kuridat Abiola was, relatives – as Mayombo did Rwaboni – to the dungeons in Kololo, Ntinda, Bukoto, Kireka, Mutungo for tattoos that the blokes from Amnesty International mistake for torture marks

Like Tupac Shakur said - Mr. Yoweri, you and I are friends - “till the end of time”

Suitor got one

2009-11-29T00:12:00.000-08:00

Suitor got one
Sought and tantalised
It don’t (sic) mean -
Because momma conceived one
Even when hair twists through one's nostrils -
One must harden in momma and poppa’s house

There comes a time -
Despite their niceness
And one’s naughtiness -
That one must Uganda’s no party system without ment

VDU is such a nice entity
Great blokes, facilities, facilitation
No wonder:
Many conceited ambitious fellows that get to the entity settle - feel fulfilled

Kid bro –
The learning type –
Learns from big brother
Afro Gizzards Spun Jesus Baptiser From Moshi, Tz
In many cases – not most-
Kid bro moves
First to big brother’s
And then eventually to their own hovel
It is theirs, after all

That does not mean one does not “dig” momma and poppa
One still does
The Fourth Estate, the disinterested uninterested class representative

Mr President, the Model Houses Suck

2009-11-03T05:36:00.000-08:00

President Museveni, it is me, once again. I have the cheek, you ask?

Like Eminen told Stan, I, too, 'sent you two letters but you must not have got them'. Now; 'will the real Mr. Amos please stand up'

I am cross: I was in Karamoja, again - Thursday, October 29 to Saturday, November 31. Wifie - main one - was in Karamoja, too. To launch the two-roomed 'model houses' for my nomadic siblings and parents.

It was a big occasion. Even your bloke who rivals the late Don Pablo Escobar's 'Popeye' - hatchet man - at sowing terror was around.

Mr. Amos; me and a KK Security guard, bound for Moroto, were asked off the bus. Not the Movement bus,
boss. The Movement bus had broken down, as usual. Our Teso Coach bus was then used to ferry crowds to our Lady Jeannete's, week-long activities. The KK guy and I had to now hunt for other means to Moroto, imagine! We ended up arriving in Moroto at night. Finding accommodation became tougher.

By the way, ask some orderly to get you some porridge or water. Because this posting is long - hence you will need to keep irrigating your throat.

Mr., the model houses idea was not deep. My Karamojong household has seven members. We do not intend to start family planning now. And Jeannete thought that the one room will comfortably accommodate seven of us? Liar.

Bigger on the outside than our manyattas (mud and wattle structures), the model houses remind me of Cornflakes boxes. Big on the outside, little inside.

Mr., we cannot fit into those model rooms. Yeah, my siblings and parents crouch to enter manyattas. But I moved out of theirs when I hit 15. When? Later... And have you seen during one of your several aerial movements over our flat scrubby terrain, that our manyattas are 'fenced' with spiky twigs?

The model houses have nothing of the sort. So who will protect us? Not the Uganda People's Defence Force (UPDF). The Force had problems fending off rustlers. So we are sceptical in as far as government can guarantee our own security is concerned

Karamoja Diocese Bishop, Joseph Abura, had a novel idea. He said that we should take up whistles, voices
and spears to curb internal insecurity. H.E., Bishop has doubts about the UPDF's ability to curb internal insecurity, right?

Why did Jeannete not first ask us what we wanted? I have failed to get to her to put this question. She is a busy woman, you know. You, I am sure communicate with you her often.

Was it ennui on her part? The model houses, I guarantee would not feature among our top three priorities; security of our lives from cattle rustlers, water, and food.

Do not mind about the order. Just know that we are not ready to move into concrete sheds. Label us country, but we attract the civilised non-state tourists.

Demonstrating students are just seeking popularity

2009-09-08T05:09:00.000-07:00

Makerere University (MUK) students are, again, striking against a 40 percent tuition fee hike.

What baffles many is that it is not the fresher - who will affected - who it striking. It is the sophomores/ continuing students - who won’t be affected.

Every year, MUK students elect Students Guild representatives. These in turn, sit in University Council meetings where key decisions about the university are discussed.

It seems the guild members do not, after all, represent the interests of future demonstrating students.

The students’ leaders agree with University Council but turn around when another bunch of students see an opportunity to appear on television and in the newspapers because of the media’s love for conflict as news.

One can conclude that all the representatives do is munch doughnuts and sip cinnamon-flavoured milk tea when other university council members are voting for or against key decisions.

And now the demonstrating students are threatening to turn violent! I hope the Inspector General of Police will not allow Police to behave as they did when Wakiso district chairman was early August powdered with dust along Busabala Road.

Makerere University has a system that allows a student to register for a certain course load for which he or she can comfortably pay. But the fewer the course loads, the longer it takes a student to complete their course of studies. And remember inflation can set in to further push the cost up.

So the students have a choice.
If the university does not stand firm this time round, it will never be able to push through a fees hike.

The administrators should not give in to few students. The administrators should instead convince President Yoweri Museveni not to postpone the inevitable.

President Museveni, though no longer the Chancellor, has in the past given the students false hopes that even their grand children will pay the same fee that they pay.

Some of these students can often be found at the library, donning Che Guevara t-shirts, complaining that university’s computers are old. They want newer models. But even jokers know that newer models cost more money.

Leading a strike is something they want for their curriculum vitas. They will use these ‘epaulettes’ to cut deals with politicians using them as bargaining chips for political posts.

Many such students also say the lecture theatres are few and small. Well, the university is building more using not toilet paper or mango trees leaves, but Ugandan legal tender.

They go ahead and say lecturers ‘cut lectures’. But the same students, when the lecturers do not ‘cut’, waltz off from lectures before they end. And they mumble if the lecturers attend all lectures to the end.

This student has no problem when a hostel hikes it rates. In other words, pleasing this bunch of humans is hard.

Makerere University should ask the continuing students who cannot afford the new rates to venture into commercial farming. If commercial farming is costlier, let them resort to subsistence farming.

And the ministries of education and finance and economic planning should speed up the implementation of the higher education loans scheme. And not just stop at that but also explain to the students that they can borrow the money from central government to pay for tuition.

Some students I have interacted with have no idea how the loans scheme will work. They are after the papers, not the education – so I was not surprised that many do not think much about it.

This countryside perception will change once the ministry of education EDUCATES them about the scheme.

Wanted: a cube/muzigo at the State House

2009-08-03T08:38:00.000-07:00

I want a single room at Ebs State House.

The place is too big for one person – the President. And it is equally quiet.

I will make the place lively for citizen number one. Our dear President is lonely.

All his children have 32 teeth. And unlike me, they are doing well. So they do not stay with him.

Jeannette is busy helping improve livelihoods of people in Aramoja and Uhama.

I, on the other hand, am happy because the Kingdom of Heaven is mine - I am poor.

My only asset is a big pot. Inside I placed a Sound Solo speaker. Boy/girl; I will blast the late Congolese musician Franco Makiadi’s rumba for citizen number one.

Music will soothe Kagu after he has met all those people asking him for favours.

If the one muzigo is not a problem, Kagu can add me a second one. This will serve as a discotheque of sorts.

We can hide there, as though in a shrine, listening to music.

A serf’s life is ‘hand to mouth’. People, it is tough.

But if I got the muzigo at Ebs, then our man will ensure, that as a representative of his core supporters, the peasants, I have beef stew for breakfast, drumsticks for lunch and liver as the evening snack.

And then I can go show them my beer belly and they will be happy that I am fat on their behalf.

For supper, I will just belch from the pits of my lungs.

I will be lighting the jiko/sigiri when he is settling at the table for breakfast, lunch or supper.

The whiff of smoke from my muzigo will prompt him to send somebody to ask me to join him at Uanda’s table.

As usual in the mornings, Ale Ayihura can join us for the 4a.m. security briefings.

He won’t cost us much sugar. The guy takes honey in his tea. We can freely scoop some from the nearby beehives.

Even those crunchy kabalagalas (ati pancakes? No. Not even cookies, stupid) he likes are no serious expense to Uanda.

The man must maintain his figure, otherwise he will not be able to chase Dr Esigye at Lukaaya.

And the lawn, we can save taxpayers money by me just watering the grass with salts.

There is not a bad person around who would put live electricity wires in one particular spot I identified.

You know, where I am at, a bad neighbour hid some live wire underneath the soil.

When I go to relieve myself, I unwillingly dance. To make matters worse? I do not feel like stopping.

Citizen number one, I will kill you with lies. I have granaries of stories. The people around you just stress you – asking for favours. You need to loosen up – that I can help with that.

We can invite the neighbours for hide and seek in the gardens.

Medium runt ranting about Big Men?

2009-08-02T04:56:00.000-07:00

British Broadcasting Corporation’s Ali Mutasa is not happy.

On Monday, July 27 he had gone to Commonwealth Resort Munyonyo (Kampala, Uganda) to cover the SMART Partnership Dialogue but was ‘inconvenienced’ by Uganda Media Centre’s (UMC) Kiwanuka Ssubi.

SMART Partnership: Commonwealth countries meet annually to share ideas, experiences, and network in order to assist each other address the common challenges they face - Smart Partnership An Idea that binds.

Uganda hosted this year’s dialogue from 26-28 July.

Just like me, Mutasa was not allowed into some sessions with the Heads of State. Day Two was perhaps the most important.

The Big Men, symbolically, brandished traditional spears for the launch of the "African Smart Partnership Peace Hub", symbolic because it was not anchored in any law.

I am also talking about the session where the Big Men fired journalists’ questions.

My case was understandable. I can talk about it until the veins in my neck bulge.

As is common in such events, intelligence had used the two weeks to get background information about me, I presume. Am I dreaming?

So I was not very surprised when my first access pass was withdrawn in the morning of day one.

But what did the UMC person have against Mutasa?

Mutasa told me, “They [UMC] said BBC and CNN are not allowed in, simple.”

A colleague from the Monitor's Business Desk, Dorothy Nakaweesi, did not have it easy either.

She was tossed between the Munyonyo Media Centre and the meeting venues.

At the Media Centre, Dorothy was told she can go to the tent. But as she approached the tent, she found other reporters being ushered out.

Nation Television Uganda (NTV’s) Tom Magumba was also inconvenienced. The cold drizzly breeze outside the Presidents’ tent sobered him to the reality that his editor was waiting for moving pictures about the dialogue.

Magumba went back. But, first to plead his case before PGB and UMC chaps. How did they expect him to explain to his boss at Kampala Serena Hotel? They capitulated.

He told me later, “But they did not allow me to move close.”

I know; you may say he had digital and optical zoom on the camcorder. But if we were to operate in zoom mode, we can as well buy telescopes and zoom in on Entebbe State House from the shores of Lake Victoria or from atop Mvule trees.

We would, by using telescopes, save time that would have been wasted to check this, check that through several clearance gates.

Let me digress a bit.

In 1990, Uganda government operatives arrested Alfred Okware, Festo Ebongu and Hussein Abdi (Rest in Peace) for asking then Zambian President Kenneth ‘White Handkerchief’ Kaunda ‘embarrassing questions’.

Perhaps, Mutasa and ilk would have given the Presidents embarrassing answers. The Big Men, I understand - second-hand, asked why journalists dwell on negatives.

Sunday Nation’s Philip Ochieng answered that question on 16 November 2003.

Ochieng said: "Most of us, editors, are graduates of humanities. Such subjects simply bore us. Or we would long ago have devoted whole sections to readable economics reports, analyses and commentaries. The blame goes to our politicians. Their squabbling has no development content and also diverts farmers/ public away from subsistence work."

So why should the media ignore the current problems just because the Big Men want saturation coverage of, say, boreholes they have commissioned for the nomadic communities?

I got another access card on the last day (three). Mutasa, too, got a pass allowing him in. But we had just 30 minutes with those Big Guys.

And the Big Men decided when to stop. In those 30 minutes, the few remaining Big Men were seated. Mugabe, Banda and Ketumile had left for home. As the remaining Big Men went to dinner, their beefcakes circled them.

Granting us access on the last day will not erase from our minds (Mutasa, Magumba, me) what they did to us. It just gave us copy for blogs.

Even if one preaches forgiveness; forgiveness, too, has limits. If it did not, Jesus Christ would have forgiven The Satan the Great. And the two would now be sinking their teeth into croissants as they banter in the skies beyond the sun.

To, add salt to injury, the UMC chap picked a few journalists on day two of the dialogue to represent us. The criterion peddled was that one had to be interested in New Media.

I doubt those Big Men understand the concept – many are above 60. The concept would just confuse them. Some, like my grandmother, send mobile phone messages before they type the text, and delete the incoming messages before they even read them.

At least, if it had been only President Kikwete of Tanzania or King Mswati III of Swaziland, we would buy the line. Being younger; they are, generally assumed to be, impressionable. New Media would excite them.

The other goats have very rudimentary interest in technology unless it is about weapon detectors and advanced executive jets. So how can they quiz journalists about New Media?

On Day One, PGB and UMC personnel told those with ears and hear that photojournalists and television men would have five minutes within which photograph or film the Big Men.

After the five minutes with the Heads of State, they said we should go and file our stories, attach and send pictures and for the television chaps edit their clips. It was very considerate of them, uh?

Suubi ushered some of us out of the Tent. He referred us to a room dubbed the Media Centre.

Another pedestrian explanation, as we were being seen off, was that we ‘were disorganised’. But if you limit people, what do you expect?

They will make the best of the few moments they have whichever ways. But I am not saying we were disorganised. I carried myself with grace.

Anyway, we reluctantly went because Suubi, unconvincingly, said we would get live television feeds about the proceedings. He added that there would be Internet.

For writers, they could have gotten away with just listening to the broadcast and then typing and sending stories. But why should a photojournalist photograph a television image?

We found only 17 computers at the Munyonyo Media Centre. Internet was lacking or at best erratic. Suubi had remained in the Presidents’ tent.

When he finally joined us (at the Media Centre), he attempted to fix the television – for us. I swear he tried. But he failed. So he took off.

We later, when we abandoned the Media Centre for the Bar where there was a working screen; saw him with a wine glass with some blood-red liquid in it.

Dr Andrew Taussig of the University of Oxford Programme in Comparative Media Law and Policy Centre for Socio-Legal Studies can corroborate this information.

Dr Taussig saw the conditions at the Media Centre. He must have interacted with, heard grumbling or observed journalists with scowled faces.

He directed me to the Bar. But assured me that he paid for his drink. Nothing was ‘on the house’. And he wished me the best.

I also interacted with a PGB soldier on foot patrol. I introduced myself, and workplace. He grinned. So I asked him why the grimace.

He said, “We have some problems with Monitor.”

You can organise an identification parade, and I will identify (ID) the man for you. Just remember, for it to be agreeable under the law, it must be done thrice. So you should be ready to collect them (PGB) for the three parades.

The UMC people at the SMART Partnership Dialogue have no idea that journalism is like guarding the Big Men.

Both the guards and journalists are always on the lookout. The only difference is that while the guards are on the lookout for potential enemies, the journalists want news.

And news is a 24/7 business. It cannot be compressed into five minutes. What if that photo opportunity presented itself after the five minutes?

UMC people could have first visited the High Court in Kampala. There, they would have learnt there is a Press Pool/section. Such a demarcation creates conditions for order as the Fourth Estate performs its duties.

There was no such pool during the Dialogue. And this was then used as an excuse to bounce some reporters/photojournalists and television crews – that they were disorganised, just running up and down.

To be sincere, UMC and PGB allowed us a little more than the five minutes. We did about twenty. But in those 20 minutes, it was the Big Men sitting and then Sudhir Rupharelia extolling tales about Commonwealth Resort Munyonyo.

Time enough for us to occupy our less patriotic minds hoping that Rupharelia would be sat down or be kind enough to speak within 30 seconds – the standard time for a commercial.

Lo, the man rumbled. One colleague (Fourth Estate) asked, “Who owns this resort, is it really Sudhir’s?”

Another retorted, “Surely, if you don’t know, then you have not been living in Uganda. Remember when President Museveni said that he will retire into the real estate business and to hotel business in particular?”

The debate stopped.

And then whiff, PGB smoked me from whence I had knelt. Good people, I was on my knees when I was asked to leave. I was not happy. But I did not want to resist lest I created a scene.

Between missing a picture and embarrassing the firm, I believe Monitor Publications Ltd would rather I missed the photo than their audience being informed that their stringer was clobbered by a team of PGB and UMC for ‘hardening’ at the Big Men’s dialogue.

My bosses may ask ‘how come competition got the pictures?’

Well, competition is part of the system. Competition was meant to work with the Big Man’s Press Unit.

But competition, just he did like when approached by Monitor Publications Ltd, refused. They did not agree on the terms. Ask Delilah to get you that information.

Now the PPU is well-equipped. It has even trained people to handle electronic gadgets. So it does not have much need for competition. But it still has a soft spot for competition because competition used to do some assignments for them, understand.

Now; if there are journalists who are happy that they scooped their colleagues, they are like monkeys laughing at other monkeys blue nuts.

Next time, they will be the ones telling tales about being ‘harangued’ at the 2010 SMART Partnership Dialogue in Malaysia, boomerang. They will be nobody’s in that foreign land.

Back to UMC and PGB, why do they say the Big Men are democratic but pooh-pooh the notion by allowing only a few embedded photojournalists and television blokes to access the Big Men?

Since when did the interests of the minority count more than the majority’s?

If they know that only a few reporters will shoot pictures on behalf of the many, why invite many? Is it for accountability purposes? But accountability to whom?

Another annoying comment was to the effect that Monitor Publications Ltd already had two persons in the Hall where the Big Men were dining on day one.

What they did not say was that the two were participants. They did not go as reporters. Here, take my arm from the elbow downwards – if the two say they were assigned by the editors.

You can dry the arm and use it as a rake for your lawn - because I insist the two persons referred two went as participants, not as reporters.

Hypothetically, what if they had to part with Sh0.2 million to be participants? Which journalist can part with that amount so as to cover an event? That is a month's wages for many stringers. Such a stringer would not even blow it, given 24 hours, on a ‘bird’.

Even before the SMART Partnership Dialogue started on 26 July, the UMC buffs and PGB had a list of at least 100 journalists/reporters to cover the event.

That should have helped them plan for all. But they did not do it satisfactorily.

I remember at the beginning, some of us were even denied the programme sheets. A D.R. from the Media Centre put the copies in his bag and zipped up. I begged for one to be able to know what will be happening where and at what time.

Operating without a programme is like attending a meeting which has no agenda – everything is AOB. You are left in a ‘whatever comes up mode’.

The Commonwealth Resort Munyonyo is a big place with many conference halls, dining rooms and even tents. How did UMC expect us to know where to be and at what time?

Donald said, “The copies are few.” Imagine.

UMC and PGB knew the number of reporters – because they drew the list and brandished it every so often ‘to confirm whether you are on the list’.

Why would you then thoughtlessly print fewer copies of the programme? Anthony Eropu came to my aid – he told Donald to dish out the few copies.

About the Munyonyo Media Centre, imagine paying a three-day fee of Sh12 million . And besides the few computers, Internet lets or at best slows journalists down.

Henry Mukasa had to send for a car from The New Vision head office to come and pick him, drop him at the office to type the story since it was useless to type at Media Centre and then fail to e-mail it.

Information and Communication Technology (ICT) support staff, David Kimbowa, told me that I should not complain because we are used to slower Internet back in our firms offices. This pushed me to the wall.

I told him when it is slow; we improvise with faster means because in the media time is a premium. You cannot get away with wasting it – that is why you will hear the word ‘deadline’ bandied often. In fact, it is now a cliché.

Kimbowa was lumping serious media houses with news rags. He shouldn’t have because he was talking to a seriously exposed person upstairs – (IQ; people – I fear books but compensated with loads of both common and local sense).

Between covering a function where a news editor is at and one where the Head of State is, I would rather cover the editor. There are fewer inconveniences involved.

Covering Big Men should be left to suckers. I do not need any such validation. So UMC can write to my editor and demand I never be allowed to cover any function organised by them.

UMC should mend the way it handles journalists. Inviting journalists for functions and then occupying their slots does not wash.

Suubi was the MC. A colleague of his answered a question during the Q&A between journalists and the Heads of State. I thought it was meant for journalists.

If they do not mend their ways, we could pass off as loafers, but we will boycott functions where they have a say.

Till we meet again, till we meet again...Ends.

To Dear JKK

2009-07-16T02:56:00.001-07:00

Did you arrive safely, Janet? I hope you did because I really had a good time. I even whispered a little prayer to the good Lord above and said, ‘this is dedicated to the safety of the one...’

Shhh, between me and you, we should meet often. As Yoweri flies to Bukedea, we ride on boda boda to Kampala Serena Hotel. If you please, we can go to Makerere University. We can also go to Eritrea. All you have to do is to cover your hair, and drop the specs so that those moles do not ID you.

I tell you; that coy look you fired me…‘I can see clearly now’ how you have managed to hold Museveni firmly between your thumb and forefinger.

Sorry I did not escort you home. You will agree that I was tired after all those hours. Besides, I thought you would travel to Entebbe State House. Since it is a 37kilometres from Kampala, I decided your security was of utmost importance. I hired some boys (Presidential Guards) to see you safely to Entebbe. I did not want to take chances with fake thugs.

Had I taken the risk, the thugs would have plucked my teeth. And after you realise that I cannot thump even just five thugs, you would begin to question how I managed working all those hours. I had to earn the retainer. The other boss other than the one from Bukedea was around.

I was not ‘stoned’, that standing. Janet, fighting assorted or professional thugs is different from those other fights.

Anyway, a few minutes after you left, boss arrived from Bukedea. And he drove to Nakasero State Lodge. I saw him along Speke Road. He was seated in the ‘assassination corner’. Did you spend the night at Nakasero State Lodge?

Please say; ‘No.’ The place was just 20-minutes walk away from where we met. That means I could easily have escorted you to Nakasero State Lodge.