Westside on the Eastside

Heads or Tails

2007-04-10T16:46:00.000-04:00

Today I proved that odds are in favour of the flipper, (as opposed to the caller...not the flippee.) I know what you're thinking: the odds of flipping a coin are 50-50, right?

Wrong!

Let me explain. There are three ways that a coin can land when you flip it: Heads, Tails, or on it's edge. Today I flipped a coin to decide if I was going to make an afternoon Starbucks run. Heads I go, Tails I don't. It came to rest up on it's edge. No kidding! Of course now I was faced with the paradox of neither going nor not going to Starbucks, (follow that?) I instead took it to mean I should make my own decision and not leave it to chance, so I went. Anyway, what this incredible event proved is that it's not 50-50 when you flip a coin. It's more like 49.[some long string of 9's] Heads vs. the same Tails, and some very small fraction left over for the edge. Really though, when something like that happens, who doesn't try to do it again immediately? I flipped the coin two more times and it came up Heads both times, so what I really proved today is that when you flip a coin, two thirds of the time it will come up Heads, and the other third it will land on it's edge.

Hey, like the government and TV execs, I can make stats say anything I want.

If fact, tonight I'm going to prove that 100% of Kevin's prefer Dairy Queen to the gym on Tuesdays.

All for now,
Kef...

Wrapping up Winter

2007-04-01T13:31:00.000-04:00

Well, it was a hard fought battle but our team couldn't pull through for the win on Friday, so that means another curling season is pretty much in the books. The other team still has a game on Monday that might be worth some cash but that'll be it. All the snow around here is gone, even the giant mall parking lot piles, and today it is raining which is good because it gets most of the crummy winter salt off the road. Winter truly is over, which gets me thinking about this summer.

I've had the 'spring' jacket on for a while, (even for a few days that probably were too cold.) I pulled out the carpet car mats and they're ready to go in. I ran outside for the first time this past week; I've been on the treadmill all winter. I put the bike back together a while back, (I was hopeful,) including the new aero bars I got a Christmas. I bought myself a race wetsuit that I am dying to try. Then I started looking at my calendar...

Yeah, if you want to do anything with me on any weekend over the summer, you'd better let me know now.

The first thing I did was put all the races from the Subaru series in. Eleven races in total, but I hope to hit nine of them. I actually did this a ways back to work out the training schedule, but this is the first time I've tried to see how the rest of the summer shaped up. Next I put in the weddings. The Roomy and Ang, Boomer and Ryguy, Crustina and Andrew, (yeah, he doesn't have a nickname.) Plus my cousin but that isn't until October. Four weddings...not like I haven't done that before. (Just no funeral, please.) Next was the camping weekends. I think there is only one for sure but maybe I can squeeze in a couple more. Also, I think I am going back to baseball this year. Chucky asked me to play on the Wishing Well men's team this year so that should be fun. There's the weekend away with the Youth Leaders... Ugh, I haven't even figured out when I am going to golf yet, plus I have to move at some point. I can see September coming and I won't even know how it got here.

Anyway, I think the point was that I am excited about this next season and how it's going to unfold. I'm sure over the next couple of weeks there will be even more that I will have to shoehorn into the calendar but it always seems to work out.

Now I just have to pray that we don't get the one last Easter snow storm for which the TDot is famous.

All for now,
Kef...

Stupid FREAKIN' iTunes!

2007-03-27T00:19:00.000-04:00

I have a complaint.

"You take three months away from blogging and you come back with complaints?" the tens and tens of my readers ask.

Yes...deal.

I think one of THE dumbest, most ridonkulous things a piece of software can do, is access the internet using an already open browser window. What if I am doing something important in that browser window? What if I am writing on my blog? What if I am writing an email? A long email. One that has taken a lot of thought and time in collecting my thoughts and editing them into comprehensible sentences.

I am especially angry at iTunes right now. In fact, Apple in general. I had even (briefly) considered buying a Mac next time compy blows up... NO MORE!!

Let me set it up for you. I was writing an email to a friend on my hotmail account. Yes, I use hotmail, I have always used hotmail, I will always use hotmail because there is nothing more frustrating than trying to make sure everyone knows your new email address. Anyway, writing an email. A long one. To put it in perspective, it had been about 45 minutes. Suddenly, the music I've been listening to stops and I take the opportunity to put in the new CD I got today. iTunes doesn't show the CD for me to play it. This didn't truly surprise me with all the copyright blah blah blah. I wondered if I was missing something though so I tried to get some help. Apparently iTunes help is web based because the option I selected brought up the email I had been working on and proceeded to go to a new page.

AHHH! NO! STOP BROWSER! BACK BUTTON! Son of a... (I think I truly did stop here, I'll have to ask the Roomy.)

The email was gone. First person that says I should save my work as I go...I take their space bar! I was so mad I hit the close button on iTunes immediately. The dang program started up again. What the... I hit close again. Starts up again. "Give me a break!" (may have yelled this) I hit close one more time. The freakin' iTunes program starts up again... "SCREW OFF!!" (This, I know I yelled.) The next thing I did may have been a little irrational, but I had been in a bad mood for most of the day and we had lost our curling match earlier in the evening. I proceeded to hit CTRL-ALT-DEL about 37 times...hard.

Yes, I gave my compy the Three Finger Salute, usually only reserved for such special occasions as the Blue Screen of Death. It's ok, it has recovered enough for me to tell you all about it here. Man I hate Mondays sometimes.

I hope I have the Tuesdays tomorrow...

All for now,
Kef...

Only the good die young

2007-03-25T13:53:00.000-04:00

Well, I guess it happens to the best of us. I haven't been on here in ages, but I figured it was time to make a little update. That little update happened over on the Blogger profile side of things. I am no longer a 20-something. That's right, as of Friday I have officially complete my third decade of life and am now the big 3-0. Really, I don't feel any different, despite all the ribbing I've been getting about it. I think the good part is that I am not the first of my close friends by far to go through this. My Sis of course says she can't talk to me again until she gets there... I wonder if I can hold her to that? (haha, just kidding krispy!)

Something a little more exciting than me getting older is the fact that today was Youth Sunday at our church. This is when the Youth groups (SWAT for high school and Area 51 for Jr High,) take over the morning service. Today the SWAT band did all the music, (they rock!) Well, almost all the music. The band made up of completely students is so good that none of us leaders have to help, so we got together and did our own song. It was cool to get up there with Boomer, Ems and Chucky...it feels like so long since we've done it. The Roomy got some people to participate in some of the games that he does at a typical Area 51 gathering. For example: Vegatabowling! He sets up golf tees like bowling pins on one end of a table and someone stands at the other end and spits a brussel sprout out of their mouth to knock them down... Yeah, Narsty! Anyway, then he gave a great talk in place of one of the regular pastors, (not that their talks aren't great, too...) and then we ate pizza! In fact most of the guys are probably still there playing Settlers. I couldn't stay because today is the first day of curling playoffs. Speaking of which, I should be off.

I drive a lot slower now, you know...

All for now,
Kef...

That is the night before the Christmas

2006-12-27T00:34:00.000-05:00

You may remember my slightly strange activity that I call retransing, which is using an online translator to translate into, and back from a foreign language in order to create something funny, (or just completely random.) I am at it again.

In the spirit of the Holiday, I present to you, A Visit from St. Nick.

That is the night before the Christmas, passing by the house completely because the mouse is not made equal, you stirred any creative things which are not,

The stocking caught with the smokestack of worry of the desire that, St. Nicholas directly is there,

As for offering/accompanying with their beds as for range of vision of the candy it danced with the head, but you drew close entirely securely

And for napping the long winter, it solved mamma of her handkerchief, and I of my hats exactly,

When with the lawn that kind of the sound which is said shakily happening there, as for problem those which are in order to see I leapt from the bed.

I like the flash flew in the window, pulled the shutter which was opened and tore, and threw on the sash.

Month of chest of snow which was dropped newly gave the gloss of noon to purpose next

The miniature sleigh, and the reindeer of 8 minimum something to the eyes which are thought in my doubt should appear, the time

The small old operator and, therefore and it was fast actively, I had known when that becomes St. Nick,

Quicker that coursers than ãƒ¯ã‚· it came, he blew called the whistle, shouted, and those with appointing;

"Now, Dasher! Now, the dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! Comet! Cupid! Donder and Blitzen!

On porch! On wall! The current dash which leaves! Dash! Be mixed up do everything!

When meeting to the leaf and the obstacle which "it flies before the hurricane of the wildness and dries,

So it threw as a mount to the sky to house-top, coursers of toy and complete sleigh of St. Nicholas.

And next, with glitter, I inquired about prancing and pawing of the hoof where each is small with the roof.

That I pulled by my hand, turned simultaneously, Nicholas came with the limit under saint of the smokestack.

As for him, the clothes to that feet from that head of all furs as for arrival and that clothing all ashes and the smut it changed color;

He threw with that, and depending upon him like the fair entrance of the itinerant merchant the bundle of the toy where that pack is visible.

Whether -- those shone or, that eye! The cheerful how that cavity! That cheek seemed like that nose like the rose and the cherry!

The that droll small mouth was pulled like the bow, self-depreciation of that jaw the snow was white;

The smoke which surrounds that head like the flower garland and the stump of the tube which he grasps hard with that tooth;

There was a wide surface in him, the small circular stomach shook, that him like bowlful of the jelly when laughing.

He is chubby, in spite even in by my I meet to him the time, portly you laugh, the right being pleasant, the old elf, me;

The ã¾ of that eye twist of going back and forth and that head in order to know that has nothing the fact that I fear, gave me directly;

He spoke the word which is not, but it advanced to that work straightly, and satisfied stocking everything;

The fact that side you put that finger of the urgent movement, and that nose, and the fact that signal on the smokestack is given, then being turned, he rose stand;

He leapt to that sleigh, it gave the whistle to that team, like the feather of everyone thistle it flew.

But as for me before he drove from vision, "everything happy Christmas to everything he who inquires about that you shout is completed cripes."

Wow...just wow. Yeah, don't ask. I have NO idea where "cripes" even came from. Soon we'll have the outcome of the Trivial Pursuit competition. So far we've found out that we are pretty even, (the Brother in Law has a half game edge,) and we shouldn't let my Mum play, she aparently knows almost everything...about everything...except maybe basketball.

I will provide the final results as soon as they are available, as well as the results of the impromptu billiards tournament that has been going on. Until then I leave you with:
"Dash! Be mixed up do everything!"

All for now,
Kef...

Freak Curling Accident

2006-12-13T16:29:00.000-05:00

Well, the last post brought on more comments than usual. The Fabulous Mira seems to have sparked some debate as to the validity of playing Trivial Pursuit against family members. I agree with the Sis on this one; who you are playing against is less than relevant unless you grew up in a bubble together. And, I am pretty sure that Mira is 3X New Year’s Eve champ because I wasn’t there for any of those games. (Zing!) I was on her team for our last round of Shout About, (at her birthday,) and we kicked more than a little ass in both games.

But alas, I now declare that subject closed until after the Championship has concluded. It is time to move to more pressing matters. Like how much my foot is FREAKING KILLING ME right now.

Sunday at the curling club started out like any Sunday at the curling club. [Curling: n/v – origin, Scotland – 1. The OTHER Canadian dominated sport played on ice.] Show up, change, stretch, shake hands with the other team while exchanging pleasantries such as “Nice to meet you,” “Good Curling!” or “You are SO going down!” Next, I moved on to the ice to start the game and noticed something strange. The ice was pretty slippery.

Let me take a moment here to explain to those of you who do not curl that I am not completely insane. Yes, ice is always slippery. But, curling ice is pebbled, (they lightly sprinkle water onto the ice so it is not smooth but has a “bumpy” texture, kind of like an orange peel,) and we wear soft rubber soled shoes that grip the ice. Sometimes due to temperature changes or other phenomenon that I am not aware of, the ice gets frosty, (yes, frost on ice, just accept that I know what I am talking about,) and then it is slipperier than normal.

Anyway, I throw second so I was sure to be careful while sweeping our Lead’s rocks until it was my turn to throw. As I moved to the end to take my turn however, I had a momentary lapse of balance and started to slip. Experienced curlers have two instincts if they find themselves falling during a game: 1) Don’t crash your broom on the ice if you can help it, and 2) Don’t crash your head on the ice if you can help it. I managed crash neither broom nor head on the ice and landed solidly on my rump, which may already have a couple pounds of the winter weight on it so it was a decently padded landing. But, here is where the “Freak” part of the accident comes in. At the end of a sheet of curling ice there is a bumper to stop rocks that run through the house. This bumper is just high enough that I can almost get my foot under it. As I slipped, I attempted to jam my foot into that too small space, (not on purpose,) and seeing as it only almost fits, I caught the end of my toe and nearly ripped my big toenail clean off.

I’ll pause here while everyone makes either the universal “Ooo-that-musta-hurt” grimace, or the “Ooo-I’ve-done-that-it-does-hurt” wince with nod.

So now it’s Wednesday and I think I may be in more pain than when it actually happened. I woke up at about four this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep because of it, and I’ve actually considered whether it would be better to just lose the entire foot. (Only briefly, I know how lucky I am to have all my working body parts.) You’d be surprised how hard it is to concentrate when someone is jamming a spike into your toe while it is on fire! Ok, I’m exaggerating and probably sound like a bit of a baby…but I don’t care!

In other recent news, Christmas is upon us so the cubicle decorations have made their way out of the box again and this year my floor is having a team decorating challenge! Stay tuned for pictures.

Icicle lights + green cardboard cut-outs + glue + glitter = no end of holiday fun!

All for now,
Kef…

It's On

2006-11-30T23:42:00.000-05:00

I was wondering what to blog about, and then I received this comment:

anonymous said…
actually it was free range from a local
farm
and you suck at trivial pursuit

Section one of comment is a true story. Part of our conversation at dinner was about how it seemed odd that this free range monster chicken had less growth hormone and other like additives than most grocery store birds.

Section two of comment is NOT a true story. My immediate reaction to section two would normally be, “Your Mama sucks at Trivial Pursuit!” but alas, I believe I know who this anonymous lurker is. It is none other than the almost entirely, but not quite completely less than famous Professor Krispy Giggle-Guts Googieboggie Wise III, (or, My Sis,) and therefore as I mentioned previously, the Mama comment is probably inappropriate. (And, untrue as me Ma has some mad skillz with the trivia.)

Anyway, the Sis, (who continues to think I am a geek, (or nerd, I can’t remember which,) for having a blog and yet continues to read and occasionally comment on said blog,) is probably just a little upset that she lost twice on the weekend. I can understand her frustration. She did not have the luck of the draw for most of the second game. Frequently she would get a brown question (Arts and Lit) for a pie which went something like this, “Who was the poet laureate for Ireland from 1742 to 1753?” (I made that up; I don’t even know if it has an answer.) Then, on my turn I would get something like, “What is the title of the second book in the Lord of the Rings trilogy?” Also, keep in mind that we were playing an original 1981 edition of the game, which incidentally is the year the Sis was born. This was funny when it came to some of the blue (geography) questions that asked us about East Germany, Czechoslovakia, and the USSR.

She’s probably also upset that she subsequently lost the several rounds of “Question Offs” that we had. [Question Off: [kwes-chuh~n awf] – noun – origin: Belleville, early 21st century – 1. A situation where each player in a game of Trivial Pursuit is required to answer all six questions on a single card, the winner being the player that answers the most questions correctly. Usually used to break ties or settle family disputes.]

Or, she’s upset about my uncanny ability to produce answers to questions without even knowing why, (or, as the Brother in Law puts it, to pull answers out of my ass.) For example, take my thought process to answer the question, “Who was the Prime Minister of Britain that preceded Winston Churchill?” Brain says, “Hmm, I’m not good at history. Ok, let’s work this out; I heard a name once, (I think,) that sounds British and sounded important, you know, leader-like.” Mouth says, “Chamberlain…?” Brother in Law falls over backwards (literally) in disbelief. I have since read up on Chamberlain so if the question comes up, “What was the name of the peace treaty Chamberlain signed with Hitler in 1938?” I will know the answer.

The point, (I think,) is this: It’s on!

I hereby declare that this Christmas Holidays will be the official time of the World Championship of Trivial Pursuit. [Note: “World” is used very loosely here. See historical reference on the Badminton Championship of the World.] We will play any and all versions of Trivial Pursuit available, (within reason; I wouldn’t make everyone play the Star Wars version because I would own,) in order to determine the true champion. The contestants of course will be myself, the Sis, and the Brother in Law. Others present will be welcome to join but we wouldn’t want to embarrass you all.

And Kristy, no reading all the cards to study up!

All for now,
Kef…

Thanksgiving Chicken!

2006-11-28T00:05:00.000-05:00

I have mentioned in the past how I am not a fan of turkey. Oversized, dried-out, monster of a bird… don’t get me started. So although I was looking forward to spending time with family this past weekend for Thanksgiving*, I was not necessarily looking forward to the dinner.

As it turned out, I was pleasantly surprised. I looked into the fridge on Saturday and saw what I thought was a smallish turkey ready for the evening feast. (Ready to be part of the feast, rather than ready to partake of it… just thought I’d clarify.) The bird I discovered however was not a smallish turkey, but rather an obscenely largish chicken. How large? Let’s put it this way. If one was to go to a Swiss Chalet for lunch after church on a Sunday, (as close to 99.97% of church goers in the TDot do,) and one was feeling quite hungry, one might order the Half-Chicken Dinner, rather than just the Quarter-Chicken (white or dark.) Half of our Thanksgiving Chicken fed the five people sitting around the table to the “OOOOooooOOOO I am so full” level.

This of course helps my argument against turkey. Even though this chicken was friggin’ huge, it still kept all of its juicy chicken goodness, as opposed to the not-so-juicy turkey not-so-goodness that we are normally accustomed to at Thanksgiving. (Note: except for the turkey my sister, Professor Krispy Giggle-Guts Googieboggie Wise III, made last Christmas which was insanely juicy, (i.e. you could almost wring it out,) due to the fact that she basted it every two minutes according to Cheri.)

I realized something else while hanging out with my sister all weekend. “Your Mama” jokes just aren’t as effective on siblings.

Oh, and I’m better at Trivia Pursuit than my Sis.

All for now,
Kef…

*To any American readers this seems pretty normal, but to explain for those in the Great White North, my Step-Mum is American, (and Canadian, but she was born in the U.S.)

Formerly Known As...

2006-11-02T15:38:00.000-05:00

My good friend JWE, (also known as the Neurotic One,) who used to get a link for his name but doesn't any more because he doesn't update his blog... In fact, I think it has come to getting bumped from the side, too.

Anyway, where was I? JWE has changed his name. He shall henceforth be known as:

Jarnospaldervangundersonsen Spelly McSpellerson

Ok, so I changed his name for him, but he brought it on himself. As in the past I will shorten his name for blogging purposes which should be nothing new as his old last name contained redundant letters and people were always trying to shorten it for him. I am debating about the short form, however. One option is JSM, you know to keep the three character standard. This could get confusing for some readers though as Jess sometimes uses the JMS as a sign-off. I'd hate to have someone confuse the two of them because Jess is prettier and Jarnospaldervangundersonsen is a bigger geek, (Hold on now...those are both compliments!) The second option for contraction is JSMcS. There are more letters, but five is way easier to manage than the forty-five in his ridiculously long name.

I wonder if his wife will want to change her name? I don't think she did the first time, (you know, redundant letters and all,) but Angel McSpellerson actually sounds kind of nice. I'll be there on the weekend so I can sort out all the details.

That is, if I don't get buried under the shed.

All for now,
Kef...

Man Cannot Live on Candy and Caffeine Alone

2006-11-01T14:20:00.000-05:00

Usually I get a bad case of Monday every week. It strikes hard around sunup and continues until almost noon. Sometimes, after an exceptionally busy weekend or a late Sunday night, the flare up of Monday can continue well into the afternoon. Monday isn't contagious but symptoms are such that one should be isolated if at all possible. One can usually counteract Monday with a healthy dose of caffeine. A Grande Americano will do the trick, but sometimes the forth shot is required.

Occasionally in a week where there has been a particularly virulent occurrence of Monday, it is followed by an outbreak of Tuesday. Tuesday is different in almost every way. It is usually accompanied by a higher than normal level of morning cheerfulness, random silliness, loud talking and bad jokes. (With individuals where loud talking and bad jokes are common, these symptoms are greatly magnified.) Tuesday can also be contagious, infecting others with silliness and loud talking especially. The cause of Tuesday is a mystery but theories include too much sleep after a case of Monday or an overactive adrenal gland. Unlike Monday, caffeine will NOT help a case of Tuesday, in fact it is almost guaranteed to amplify the visible symptoms. However, those that have become addicted to caffeine to battle Monday will find ceasing consumption next to impossible.

Yesterday I had an extremely bad case of Tuesday. Mix with that with the fact that it was Candy Day, (otherwise known as the Eve of All Hallowed Saints Day,) and you'll see the potential recipe for disaster. I ate about six pounds of candy yesterday and drank upwards of three Grande Americanos, (Americanoes? Americani?) Around mid-afternoon, when I was starting to feel the effects of a combined sugar and caffeine crash, I did what any sane individual would do with the materials at hand. I ate more candy and drank more caffeine. Bad news. I went home after work and slept a good portion of the evening away on the chesterfield while my body screamed at me, "What are you doing to me you crazy ba-- fish dropping?!"

In the late evening, I contemplated my state of being and it occurred to me that it was almost November. "That it!" I said, (to nobody in particular because the Roomy wasn't home,) "Time to recommit!"

If you're unfamiliar with my story thus far, my brief lack of internal monologue refers to The November Resolution. Now keep in mind that I have not fallen completely off the wagon. I have been shifted all the way to one side and am holding on with both hands, but the lifestyle change I made has stuck for the most part. At this point I need to recommit to rising early for spin class or the treadmill, hitting the weights a couple times a week, and bringing a healthy lunch more frequently. I am still curling twice a week and playing squash once or twice a week so it shouldn't be too hard. I am setting a bigger goal for next summer by training for a half marathon and hopefully the half-iron triathlon in Parry Sound. So, now that we know all that, there is only one more thing to say:

The faster I finish these m&m's and jelly beans, the faster I can get on with it.

All for now,
Kef...

IT Paralysis

2006-10-25T11:26:00.000-04:00

Today at work the server was down. This doesn't happen often so this isn't a rant about how IT is suck and nothing ever works. But, it did show me how much we rely on the data that is stored on some distant entity we call, "The Group Drive."

The Group Drive is wonderful. It holds almost all our data for us, allowing team members kilometers away to share the information and share the work. It holds almost all our applications for us, allowing us to use slightly less powered PC's at our desk with slightly less "local" storage, (and with many of our apps becoming "web based", pretty soon all our desktops will need to run is a browser.) Then, on days like today, the Group Drive holds us hostage.

It was frustrating to say the least. Here is a typical conversation from today:

Kef: This is suck!
Kinch: What's going on?
Kef: I can't work on this rec because I can't get to my database.
Kinch: Can you get to Infopac?
Kef: Yeah...
Kinch: Print the report from there.
Kef: And compare it to...
Kinch: The data you pulled from your database yesterday.
Kef: Oh right, the data that I put into the excel file...
Kinch: Yeah!
Kef: The excel file that is saved on The Group Drive...
Kinch: Yeah! Oh...this is suck!

See how exciting the world of Corporate Finance can be? No? Look again...see it?

Ok, so my job may not be thrilling to all of you, but I like it. And, I work with great people so that makes it fun and the weeks go by quick.

Anyway, squash tonight so that'll be fun. (By that I mean I am playing squash tonight, not that I am going to try and compact under my foot the time between now and midnight, you know, in case you were confused.)

Good thing I don't store my squash racquet on the group drive.

All for now,
Kef...

Insight @ *bux

2006-09-28T15:10:00.000-04:00

This is on my coffee cup:

The Way I See It #148
Great teachers should be paid like doctors
or corporate attorneys. I worry about
what will happen to our economy and
our democracy if we don't start to take
teachers' jobs seriously.

--Ninive Clements Calegari

Hear hear!

All for now,
Kef...

Getting more creative?

2006-09-21T16:52:00.000-04:00

No, not me. The spammers.

Like most workplaces, our email system at the Tire has a spam filter and it is usually really good. Lately however, it is being a bit more selective with what gets stopped on the way in. For instance, I regularly receive notes in my inbox with a tag after the subject line. I guess this is to make sure that the filter isn't deleting messages from friends or colleagues outside of the company but I would rather it just go ahead with the "BALETED" and let my friends complain once a month that I didn't respond to them.

Some messages now though, are starting to get through without even the tag attached. Today I got one with a "who" that was a name of a friend, even with the unusual spelling, so I opened it thinking it was from him. After the vaguely unrelated subject line of "next month" the note started like most spam messages:

Listen, time is now to purchase your health needs.

[next is a link that I wouldn't ever click, so therefore wouldn't ever re-link]
is having a end of summer sale that has sa vings over 67%. [sic]
Fast delivery. 1000's of goods, all ready 4u

[at this point, the message veered away from the sales pitch]
Seems to me the same way, said Billina, scornfully, if that beastly cat is one of them
So he set the indicator to that point and began gliding swiftly toward the southeast

So what, is this spammer trying their hand at creative writing? Normally I would just 76 it and move on, but I found it somewhat amusing so I printed it out and took it over to show Kinch. "Funny, I got one kinda like it."

[mostly same sales pitch for "discounted health needs", then:]
Jim hesitated, eyeing the beasts fearfully
Oh, if you don't want to go, began Rob, I can easily-- But I do! I do! I do! cried the little man, interrupting him

See, now I am intrigued. These two excerpts obviously go together! I want to know what happens next.
Will Jim go with Rob into the den of the beasts?
Will the cat lead Billina to the other two heroes?
Will he make it in time to help them?
What side is the cat on?

SOMEONE PLEASE SEND ME MORE SPAM SO I CAN CONTINUE THE STORY!!!

Oh wait, no, don't do that, please don't do that. Maybe I'll just have to try writing more of the story myself. Although, I think Billina will become a girl in my version. (By that I mean that Billina will be a girl, not somehow become one as PART of the story.) Like I have time for this. This may be a long running project. I'll try and keep you updated.

I wonder if there is copyright infringement on the original spam text?

All for now,

Kef...

100th Post!!

2006-09-21T16:38:00.000-04:00

Yaay! 100th Post! How exciting!

Ok, now on to something more important.

Back to the beach

2006-09-13T15:45:00.000-04:00

A quick update:

Been here for five days.
Been to the beach three times.
Read two books.
Competed in a triathlon.
Went to Universal.
Rode my bike from one end of Sunset to the other.

Some observations:
It's nice here. It has been sunny and warm the entire time I've been here.
I love the beach. I think I'll go again.
I'm glad I brought four books, (plus the one I was reading when I packed.)
There are a LOT of fit people in the LA area.
Universal Studios theme park is boring. I have been spoiled by Wonderland.
There are some big homes in the Hills.

Ok, I'm almost out of time here at the SMPL, so I have to go.

Which way to the beach!?

All for now,
Kef...

...or is it just me

2006-09-07T18:29:00.000-04:00

No, it was hot! My office that is.

Tuesday was coming in after the long weekend, pretty refreshed, looking forward to my holiday, (more in a sec,) when I had a strange surprise as I got off the elevator on my floor. I was about to wave and give a smile and cheery "Hi! How's it going?!" to Jen and Delana at the reception desk, but what came out was, "What's going on?!" through a concerned grimace. It was unusually warm in the smallish lobby/elevator area and I remember thinking, "it must suck to be these ladies this morning." Jen looked up and replied, "Oh, wait until you go into the main office." I opened the door and it was like that first wave of heat when you open your oven that has been pre-heated to cookie/pizza baking temperature. Seriously, my cabinet was hot, my phone was hot, my chair was hot, it was gross, (and not gross like 144...sorry, awful.) The vents in the office that come up by the windows and down from around the lights were still kicking it out like a hair dryer, too. Those of us that were there didn't last long before we had to go down to the main building lobby and wait it out until they could get the air conditioner going.

But, work has not been my main concern this week. Well it is when I am AT work but I meant when I leave. No, this week it has been getting ready for my holiday! (And, Something Good...sit tight, it's soon I promise.) I decided I was going away for a week, somewhere I had to fly, and somewhere that is warm. I decided to go most of the way across the continent to spend a week in LA. I'll probably spend some time doing the touristy stuff like the walk of fame, Universal Studios, etc. but then I think I'll just spend a lot of time walking or riding around or hanging out at the beach. I just want to get away from my own city for a while. It's a good thing I'm not a star chaser though otherwise my timing couldn't be worse. This week is the start of the Toronto Film Festival. That's right, I am going to LA to bum around Hollywood for a week while all the stars are in my home town. Brilliant, I know. Maybe that will just mean that there will be less snooties in the coffee houses and restaurants that I want to go to. Not that I know what ones I want to go to. I haven't really planned anything.

Other than maybe learning to surf. I'll let you know how that goes.

All for now,
Kef...

My name is Kevin, and I have a problem

2006-08-31T19:28:00.000-04:00

That's the first step right? Admitting I have a problem? What's the step where I say I don't really have a problem and it's not hurting anyone? Wait, that's denial, and that is another whole series of steps...I think.

So what is this problem of which I speak. My friend Joy mentioned it for any cross-reading blog type people. Yes, I am addicted to World of Warcraft. Yes that is a computer game, and yes I am a nerd. If my Sis still reads this she'll have a field day, she thinks it's bad enough I have a blog. At least she can't make fun of me for this without admitting to reading MY blog, which would make her a nerd, too. So anyway, when I am on line, that is what I have been doing. It's fun, I don't care what you think. (Unless this is Marty or Joy in which case I am pretty sure they think it is ok, and therefore I do care.)

It has been almost two weeks since my second triathlon. I feel even more now that I can say I am a triathlete as now I have done two races in a season. This separates me from that guy who once showed up to an event and never went back. I am falling more in love with this sport. The last event was the Northern Triathlon in Orillia, (which really isn't that far north I know, but I didn't name it.) It was the Ontario Short Course Championship, (or something like that,) so there were about 1200 athletes there competing. HUGE compared to the first event I went to. This also meant the level of competition was much higher. I finished 21 out of the 27 or so in my age group which amounted to somewhere in the high 400's overall, (468 or something.) Like last time though, I wasn't competing against the veterans of the sport or the eventual podium finishers. I was competing for myself, but also against a friend from work. Kinch and his wife were at this event, too, so there was a friendly rivalry going on. He is a runner. He has actually completed marathons so he can have that title of Runner. I knew I would need to be faster on the swim and bike in order to have any chance of beating him. We were even on the swim and I gained a couple minutes on the bike which I knew I would as it is his weakest leg, (despite dropping my chain half way through and having to dismount to replace it.) The run though. Ugh. I was at about the 4K mark of the scheduled 7K and I saw him coming the other way on the out and back course. "I'm comin' for ya Kev!" was all I heard as he blazed past the other way. It wasn't long until he made good on that claim. Now let me point out here how a "wave start" system works. I am younger than Greg by a year so I started in a different wave. This means to start the race I had an artificial 3 minute lead on him. The fact that he passed me with about 2K left of the run shows how good a runner he is. My splits were about 5:15/Km, and his were a blistering 4:14/Km. He gained 7 minutes on me in the run alone! Like I said, it was friendly competition though and I had no trouble saying congrats at the finish line and humbly show the rest of our team at work the results.

Especially since I was showing them all that his wife beat us both!

All for now,
Kef...

Still at it

2006-08-09T23:14:00.000-04:00

I didn't take much time off from the training. Swimming seems to be coming along the best right now. I think I have already knocked 30-40 seconds off my 100m split so I should save some time on the first leg next event. The biking and running have been average. I have run a couple of times with a group from the Running Room and that is great having a group of people to motivate you and not just yourself to stay on track. Sunday I did a long ride up North of Brampton through rolling hill type country. The way out was more up than down and I was struggling up the last couple of hills, but I still managed to pound it back for a quicker home split. I feel good about it right now and I should be more than ready for Orillia.

I spent the weekend at my Mum's out in Brampton. Sis and her Husband were up from Kingston so it was a fun weekend. Andrew's an F1 fan so we were up early to watch the Hungarian Grand Prix, (I missed the first bit.) I then convinced him to watch a race with me, so we watched the Brickyard 400 Nascar race in the afternoon. Then, Kristy and I went and got a Chillabration cake from DQ for no other reason than we kept seeing the commercials and wanted icecream cake.

Today was the first day back at work. Going back after a long weekend is tough, but one thing that kept me going was knowing that Friday was only two days away. I have a lot to do before Friday though.

Guess I should make sleep one of them.

All for now,
Kef...

Well, I did it!

2006-08-02T23:34:00.000-04:00

I am a triathlete!

I can say that officially now. For the last twelve weeks I have been training for this thing but that's all it was...training. Now that I have finally completed my first event I can say that I am a triathlete, not just some guy that might at some point participate in a triathlon. And, yes I did go through with it despite the chest cold I am still dealing with. (Thanks for the concern from those that read, and sometimes comment (Joy;))

I can't say the race went off without a hitch though. At several points on the Saturday I didn't know if there was going to be a race at all. It all started when I woke up at about 5am to thunder and lightning over the lake, (I was staying up at the Breadner's place.) This made me a little down because I thought I might not be able to get over to the race site as I had to go by boat. It stopped when I got up though and even got sunny as I made my way to the event and started to get myself set up. About 15 minutes before the scheduled start however it started to rain again. They gathered us all together for the "pre-race" (like announcements) to say they think we are going to delay a little bit because of the fear of lightning. Right after he said that, there was a flash over the lake and huge CRACK of thunder. "Well that means at least an hour more delay."

They got us all back together again about an hour later and it was clearer, but there was still a lot of wind and the lifeguards weren't letting anyone back into the lake. I was really bummed because I was sure they were going to tell us that it was cancelled and sorry, see you next time. They gave us some options though. Option one was to run a 10K race right then. Option two was to run the sprint triathlon the next day while the Half Iron distance event was running. Option three was to do both. I chose number two. I did stick around for the 10K though. I helped at the aid station which was both the halfway and finish point, and got to chat with a few of the event organizers about the whole triathlon/duathlon scene.

So now Sunday was the day of the big race. The funny thing is I actually slept better Saturday night, and when I got to the event on Sunday morning, I was not nearly as nervous as the previous day because I felt like I had already been through all that first time build up and anticipation. I feel like I raced pretty well for my first time. I know I can do better and I know there were some factors that held me back this time but I am not making excuses because I know I can only go up. I set a goal for myself of 90 minutes. My finishing time was 1:29:59! Talk about cutting it close. If you look at the picture, you can see me desperately sprinting for the finish line before the clock rolled over to 1:30:00.

I'll relate one quick story where I lost a bit of time because it is actually a little comical. The transition between swim and bike (or T1) is probably the biggest change because you have to put on a shirt, shoes, helmet, sunglasses, etc. and then get your bike ready to run out to the "mount" line. One thing I noticed in the rules was that you had to display your race bib with your number on your front for at least the run. I figured it would be easiest to just put it on the shirt before the start of the race. Funny thing happens with safety pins in a stretchy shirt when you are trying to pull it over your wet body: they open up. So there I was struggling to pull the shirt down without stabbing myself, then doing up one pin only to have another one open up. I was actually laughing pretty hard and could get my helmet done up. I'm sure I looked quite the newbie.

Anyway, I guess the point is that I had a blast. The people were great, I got to meet some premiere athletes in the Half Iron distance event, and I proved to myself that I could do this. And, I discovered it's addictive. I can't wait until my next event!

See you all in Orillia!

All for now,
Kef...

p.s. Blogger is stupid right now and I can't post the picture. Check later if you want to see my embarrassing finish line shot.

T-minus 3 days...and sick!

2006-07-26T22:56:00.000-04:00

BAH! FOA!!

It is Wednesday. Saturday is my first triathlon. I have been training now for nearly 12 weeks! And, what do I go and do. Get sick! BAH I say! Monday I got up with a little bit of a sore throat. Not too uncommon. But, I got to work and started to feel like 10lbs of crap in a 2lb bag. By 9:30 I had to go home. I tried again on Tuesday and lasted until 11ish when the VP finally told me to beat it. Today was much better, but I think I am moving to a flare up of the full fledged bronchitis, so around 3:00 I was fading big time.

Two days to kick this one and it isn't looking good. And, to top it all off, tonight we had our last ball hockey game. We ended up the season 1fer. There are eight teams in the league and I bet you can't guess how many make the playoffs. Ok, if you said seven, you're right, BUT NO PRIZE!

No witty closing line for you...NEXT!!

All for now,
Kef...

p.s. hot tea with lemon and honey is my new best friend

Wrong number, the right way

2006-07-20T16:58:00.000-04:00

So if you've been following along at home, you know of the idi-- lovely young lady that phoned me that I nicknamed: Random Girl. I still bristle when I think about it and I have told the story countless times to people when they mention they received or dialed a wrong number. The other day however, I received a call on my cell that let me know that there are still some decent and polite, (although maybe a little phone dyslexic,) people in this world.

I'll set it up: Phone rings. It's a number I don't recognize and immediately I get my back up. I consider not answering it but I had had a bad day and I was kind of looking for a fight.

Kef: Good afternoon, Kef speaking. (Still in work mode.)
Random Kind Gentleman: Oh, I think I must have the wrong number.
[pause]
RKG: Is George there?
Kef: No, I think you're right, you must have the wrong number.
RKG: Ok, sorry about that. Good bye.

This Random Kind Gentleman, (I had to add another adjective so as not to be confused with the RG of Random Girl. I did originally consider calling her RIB,) knew how to handle himself when he got someone he didn't recognize on the line. He was a little hopeful asking for George anyway, but I can understand that because he might feel stupid if he actually did have the correct number and had to call back right away.

You'd think that this call might pull me out of my foul mood and give me a little hope for our society, and it partially did. But, a big part of me wanted to call Random Girl to tell her about the encounter and ask her why she didn't have the decency to act like a polite, respectable human being, (and ask her if she found Crystal yet.) Luckily I count myself among those that for the most part can be found on the "Decent" side of the line in society so I resisted sinking to the level of those on the other side...this time.

Goodness knows what'll happen if she ever calls again.

All for now,
Kef...

My still strange apartment

2006-07-18T11:33:00.000-04:00

Here is another quick story about an oddity at my apartment.

Sunday was the work golf tourney, (one of them,) so Sunday night I was home after a long day of golf; a long hot day of golf; a long hot day of golf where I actually stopped sweating for the last three holes I think I was so dehydrated. But, enough about that, I was fine and it has nothing to do with the story about my apartment. I was working on the computer and I was just in the middle of something good when I had a bit of heart failure. The power went out and I had no idea when I had last saved.

*FOA* (for those that don't know, that is "Fist Of Anger")

Actually my reaction was more along the lines of, "Oh 5417!" followed by the sound of the CPU fan decelerating while my shoulders sunk and my spirits faded. But, never one to cry over spilt milk, I got up from the desk and went to the kitchen, to get some milk. In the kitchen pouring said glass of milk I realized something strange. I could see what I was doing. I walked back down the hall to the Roomy's room and looked in as he was hanging up the phone.

"Notice anything strange?" I asked.

"The power's out. Not that strange." This is quite true. I swear they do rolling brownouts to reduce the load on the grid on really hot days when everyone is running fans and air conditioners.

"Come out here in the hall."

He came out to the hall and saw the lights in the main room and kitchen. "Ok, so we blew a fuse," (yes fuse, the building is pretty old.)

"We got one fuse that runs all the power in my room, your room, the bathroom, hall, and the plugs on the wall where the TV, DVD, cable box, etc. are plugged in?"

"Huh, seems strange doesn't it."

We spent the next ten or fifteen minutes changing out all of the eight fuses with ones we knew were good and that didn't solve the problem. Next I called down to security, or the "after hours" number as the management office puts it.

"Hey, I hate to bother you but I have a bit of a strange problem in my apartment."

"Half your power's out."

"Whoa, how'd you know?!" (Actual reaction. It hadn't yet occurred to me that someone else may have already called.)

"Lots of people have called." (It was about here I felt like an idiot.) "We don't know what the problem is but someone is working on it."

Well, by about 11:00 it still hadn't been fixed so I decided I needed to go to bed. It was dark in my room so it wasn't really a problem. At about 2:00am the power came back in my room. How do I know this you ask? No, I remembered to turn the light switch to the off position, but apparently pressing the power button on the computer and monitor does nothing if there is no power. I probably would have stayed asleep for the time the monitor was on before going to blank screen and then power save but the speakers came on unmuted as well and the Windows startup sound blasted me awake, (I had been playing Civ 4 earlier, too, so it was loud because that game is quieter than everything else, (I know I can probably fix that but it is just easier to turn the speakers up and down, (and yes I know that I am double, (and now triple and quadruple) parenthesizing but this is my blog and I don't stand on ceremony.)))

So then I was awake at 2:00am, considering getting back onto the computer to see how much I had lost of what I was working on, (pretty much all of it I later discovered,) but I remembered that I had to be up for work and considering Tuesday was my department's golf day I need to make the most of it.

I think at some point when I sat down to write this I had a point. Oh yeah:

My apartment is strange.

All for now,
Kef...

My Spaced...

2006-07-11T23:41:00.000-04:00

I gotta ask: What is so good about myspace? Why are all these people hooked on it?

I find it truly annoying to tell you the truth. I tried to get myself set up because some of my friends communicate on there and I thought it might be another way to get the word out about TSL and Global Coastal Flooding, but nothing seemed to work. I got this "unexpected error, being sent to myspace support" about a hundred times and even "the cannot find server" page on several occasions!

And, this is just getting set up. I still fail to see the usefulness of the place. The commenting system is confusing considering people are always answering comments on each other's sites. It's like reading one half of a whole bunch of conversations. At least with blog comments here, (or on many other blog type sites,) you might get some discussion going in the comments.

Bah, maybe I'll try again tomorrow. Right now, too frustrated.

All for now,
Kef...

Tell me what you like about movies these days

2006-07-09T23:11:00.000-04:00

I dare you. Is it the action? Is it the love stories? Is it the fact that they are telling the same stories over and over again and that makes you comfortable because it is familiar?

I know that I am not part of the entertainment industry and maybe that means that I don't have a say into what movies are being made. But maybe, not being part of the entertainment industry makes me a bigger part of it than I know. I mean, I'm only the consumer, the amateur critic, fan of the film media, and oh yeah:

The guy who buys the tickets to these movies. [yes I haven't seen the last one, but I'm already skeptical]

Maybe that doesn't mean anything. Maybe my $12 doesn't let me decide what movies should be made. But maybe I can decide what movies can be made, maybe I can even demand it.

Jessica Mae Stover is a talented artist that has written a story (code name: TSL) that should be made into a movie. I've read her work and I know this is going to be good. I'm going right out there and saying that. (I'd also say you can blame me later if it isn't but that won't happen.) But, she needs your help getting this to fly. Some of us have started a movement of sorts and you can be involved.

Here is what Jess is saying about it.
Here are some others that care.

Eventful is a cool idea of a site that lets people demand artists in their city. For instance, there is a band that I want to see in the Tdot, I can start a demand and if it gets big enough, they will work with the band to try and make it happen.

What we are doing here is certainly different, but no less plausible. Check the link at the side and go and demand this in your city. Pick one that's there or start one in your home town, then tell everyone you know about it. Tell the movie industry that you want better movies made and they are there just waiting to be picked up.

We are the squeaky wheel, people.

Go and demand your grease.

All for now,
Kef...

We are not suck anymore!

2006-07-05T17:06:00.001-04:00

Ok, so we are still suck. But, we are no longer 0fer.

That's right! The Cyclones broke the streak with a win last night against the Road Runners. It was a thrilling 4-3 come from behind victory with only three subs on the bench. I have to tell you though, I'd hate to be the Road Runners today. In the same way that nobody wants to be the team that always loses, nobody wants to be the team that lost to the team that always loses.

Now we just have to go out there and do it again tonight.

All for now,
Kef...

UPDATE: Back to the suck. Wednesday night's game was NOT awesome.