whalerjacket's world

It is Time to Move on From Torts

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Thu, 04 Feb 2021 05:25:00 +0000

I rarely write blog entries. But when I do, they are usually about Star Wars or Blue Jackets. This one falls into the latter category. Before I go on, I realize there are a lot of Tortorella supporters out there who think the world of him. Arguments rage on Twitter between those who want him fired and those who believe he should stay on as head coach well into the future. This blog entry is not intended to start a fight. I respect the opinions of those who believe Torts should stay. I just happen to disagree. I just wanted to politely present my reasons for thinking this way for whomever wishes to read them. I don't want any flaming hatred sent my way. But what I wouldn't mind is a well-written, respectful rebuttal. As someone who believes Torts should have been fired long ago, I would honestly be interested in hearing reasons for keeping him around.

POST-SEASON SUCCESS

Most arguments FOR keeping Tortorella as coach center around the fact that he has coached the Jackets to 4 straight playoff appearances. For some, making it to the post season 4 consecutive seasons is enough to justify retaining him. They view these seasons as "successes."

I view them differently. I agree they indicate some measure of success. The Jackets had a winning record and qualified for a chance to win the Stanley Cup. Many other teams did not even get that chance. However, I believe simply making the playoffs is not indicative of a successful coach. I view those four seasons with the following caveats:

- Sure, they made the playoffs and even swept a historically good team one year. But in four years they have never made it past the second round of the playoffs. That's not good enough for me. I believe the Jackets' roster is (and has been) talented enough to make it past the second round.

- I believe the Jackets made it to the playoffs in spite of Torts, not because of him. I believe they had the talent to make the playoffs with a different coach. In fact, I believe a different coach could have taken them even farther. The problem with this thought is that there is absolutely no way to prove I am correct. But it is equally impossible to prove I am wrong.

- If it wasn't for the Covid-shortened season last year, I don't think the Jackets would have made the playoffs. If I remember correctly they were holding onto the last spot by a thread, with other teams with games in hand. The play-in round saved their consecutive playoff streak.

ROSTER MANAGEMENT

Today I read Coach Tortorella plans on sitting Liam Foudy because he has been "inconsistent." This is the latest in a long string of head-scratching roster decisions that have both inhibited the growth of our youth and contributed to minimal success in the win column. Perhaps Foudy is inconsistent because his linemates are inconsistent due to the infamous Torts Line Blender? Perhaps if given more ice time with the same linemates, more chemistry would develop, resulting in more consistency?

Torts relies too heavily on his veterans which delays the growth of our younger players. I had been calling for Oliver Bjorkstrand to get more ice time for years. Look at him now. He is currently one of the top players on the Blue Jackets and a roster mainstay. He could have reached this status much sooner had he been given the opportunity to grow. Instead he rode the pine and is just coming into his own now. Currently Foudy, Robinson, Bemstrom, and Stenlund are experiencing similarly high "butt to bench" ratios when they belong on the ice more than the seasoned vets. I still contend Torts did not handle Sonny Milano properly and the Jackets squandered a huge opportunity with him. He also overplayed Alex Wennberg when he was here. Obviously this is just my opinion and there is no concrete data I can use to justify my claim.

I am tired of the line blender. There is no way for players to develop chemistry. Torts has been doing this for years and seems to think that SOMETHING is eventually going to work...but it never does. He plays Foligno way too high in the lineup and for too many minutes, sacrificing ice time for the young offensive talent mentioned above. He recently took Domi off of center, his natural position. He put Bjorkstrand with a center (Nash) who is more of a grinder/safety net than the playmaker needed to feed Bjorky and his wicked shot. Cam and Seth are struggling and he started them in overtime. He gives high minutes to struggling players and "punishes" producing players like Robinson with fewer minutes.

What happens when Nyquist returns? Who comes out then? I don't trust Torts to make the proper call.

TORTS' SYSTEM AND STYLE

Josh Anderson seems to be flourishing in his short time with his new team, outside the Torts system while Max Domi has been much less impressive.

William Karlsson went from a 3rd line grinder in Torts' system to a 40 goal scorer in Vegas. Did Torts not recognize his potential? Is he unable to accurately evaluate the talent on his roster?

Even Panarin experienced an increase in points in his first season away from the Jackets. It will be interesting to see what happens to the production of PLD and Laine in their new environments. I will also be following Milano's career trajectory. If these players continue to flourish away from Torts then it becomes a trend, not an anomaly.

I am not a professional analyst, but the Jackets don't seem to be playing a style that reflects their strengths. They have young, fast players. But they often play a dump-and-chase, grind-it-out style. They don't maximize their possession time nor generate enough shots on goal. They rely too heavily on their excellent goaltending and, until this year, their stellar defensemen. All of this is indicative of a coach who does not properly utilize the strengths of his players.

THE PLD SITUATION

I am a teacher. I have had at least one bad administrator in my career. If another professional in my field approached me and asked my opinion of said administrator, I would remain professional. I wouldn't call him/her out. I wouldn't speak ill of him/her. Because I am a professional and will not make such comments out of respect. This is my opinion of what happened with Dubois.

My gut tells me Dubois had issues with Torts and perhaps others on the coaching staff. Again, I have no proof to back this up. But for all the people who say "PLD said it had nothing to do with Torts" I am telling you that doesn't mean squat. PLD (despite being unprofessional in the way he handled other aspects of his forced departure) was being professional. He would not want to publicly speak ill of Torts. Lots of reasons to hold his tongue, one being so that he would appear in a positive light for his next coach and come across as a more valuable asset. He probably knew other GM's would be less inclined to trade for someone who bad-mouthed his coach. He was thinking of his future. If you ask any current Jackets player his opinion of his coach, would any of them really say "yeah, I don't like him?" No way. That's an express ticket to the Torts doghouse. What I am getting at is that you can't read too much into what players say regarding their opinions about their coaches.

Which leads me to other former Jackets who did not wish to remain with the team. Say what you want, I think Torts was a factor. The coach is always a factor in a decision whether to remain with a team or join a new one. When considering their career's future, I am 100% sure a player takes the coach into consideration in addition to his family, the city, his teammates, and of course money. Would Panarin have changed his mind if the Jackets had a different head coach? Almost definitely not. But you never know. Only Panarin does.

THE ROAD TO RESPECTABILITY

The Blue Jackets are a respectable team now and Tortorella has played a huge role in that transformation. I appreciate all the good things he has done for this team. He was a good coach but he is not the RIGHT coach for these Blue Jackets. We need someone who can lead them to the next level. With looming big free agents in Jones, Werenski, and Laine, now is the time for Jarmo to make a decision about the future of the team at the head coaching level. Does he truly believe that Torts is the man to get the most out of our youth? If so, I would question his judgment given what I mentioned above regarding Karlsson, Anderson, Bjorkstrand, Milano, and the group of young players currently seeing limited ice time in favor of under-performing veterans. Does Jarmo truly think Torts is the man to lead this team to the Stanley Cup? If so, what promotes such optimism after four years of decent (but not overly impressive) showings? Granted the Jackets had their 108 point season in Tortorella's first full season...but I call that catching lightning in a bottle.

The Jackets' power play is terrible and has been for several years. Despite having high end talent, they are not scoring goals and have been a low-scoring team for years. The Jackets have gone through many roster changes over the last four plus seasons. Lots of new players, but similar results. It's time for a shake up at the top. It's time for a coaching change. Let's see what someone else, with a different style and a different perspective, can get out of this group. I think we would only see positive results.

The bottom line is that I don't think this team is playing to its full capabilities. While a lot of that falls on the players, the coach is responsible for getting the most he can out of what he has. Torts is simply not doing that. This team can be so much more and in my opinion, a new coach will prove that.

Please remember, this is just my opinion. If you disagree and believe Torts should remain as head coach, that's great. I respect that and wish I agreed with you. I'm tired of seeing people call each other horrible names, curse at each other, and belittle fellow CBJ fans simply because they have opposing opinions on a coach. If you are reading this, you are probably a Jackets fan. We all want what's best for our team. So, again, I simply wanted to share my opinion. You are welcome to voice your disagreement, but please do it respectfully.

And if I am wrong, Torts turns this thing around, and leads the Jackets to the second round and beyond, I will gladly and publicly eat crow.

Anthony

TLJ: The Last Rebuttal

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Mon, 14 Sep 2020 22:38:00 +0000

Here were are in 2022. Star Wars: The Last Jedi came out in late 2017 yet even now I see people tweeting about it. Sadly, a lot of what I see is trolling. TLJ defenders seem to enjoy posting positive comments about the movie and/or its director because they know it will trigger a negative response from passionate fans who disliked the movie. I am tired of expressing my opinion about it. If you haven't heard, I have been keeping an ongoing list of all the things that ticked me off about TLJ here: https://whalerjacket.blogspot.com/2018/06/tlj-what-went-wrong.html More than 300 reasons.

But I'm tired of it. So here it is. My final rebuttal to all the TLJ defenders out there. I will post a link to this blog entry whenever I don't have the time or motivation to express my strong opinion about this movie.

I believe Star Wars: The Last Jedi is the worst Star Wars movie ever made, maybe even the worst movie ever made when you consider the size and scope of the series of which it was supposed to be a part and the possibly irreparable damage it caused to its fan base. It can be considered a franchise-killer. And not just any franchise: STAR WARS! Arguably the biggest movie franchise of all time in the history of cinema.

But that's not what this entry is about. In the link above you will find my exhaustive list of reasons why I hated that movie if you so desire to hear my ramblings about it.

No, this blog entry is about proving TLJ was a failure. You can agree or disagree about its plot, character decisions, etc. That's not what this is about.

What everybody should agree with is that Star Wars: The Last Jedi was a failure.

Let's first discuss the Prequel Trilogy which had its share of issues from bad dialogue to bad characters (Jar Jar comes to mind immediately) to bad special effects. Despite all the problems, Star Wars fans generally accepted these movies as part of the saga. Then The Force Awakens came out and it had its share of problems. Some say it was a rehash of the original. Some were upset Han was killed therefore guaranteeing we would never see the "big three" share the screen again. Many others were disappointed that Extended Universe material was not used. Despite all this, it was generally accepted as part of the saga.

I for one liked The Force Awakens. I didn't absolutely love it, but it felt like Star Wars. I was excited to find out more about Rey's lineage. I was excited to discover who Snoke and the Knights of Ren were. I was excited to see Finn grow...possibly into a Jedi! I was excited to see Luke return as a a full-fledged Jedi master. Surely he'd train Rey. Maybe he'd even train Finn. Surely he would wield his green saber in the next movie!

Yes, I accepted it as a Star Wars movie. Nowhere near a perfect movie. Lots of flaws. But I enjoyed the heck out of it and couldn't wait for Episode 8. I think most others agreed. Even if they weren't huge fans of The Force Awakens, they accepted it as Star Wars canon and were interested to see where the story would be taken in the next movie.

Then The Last Jedi came along.

You can say what you want about TLJ, good or bad. There will be disagreements all over the board. But what everyone CAN agree on is that the movie divided its fan base. Even now on Twitter you will find TLJ defenders and haters arguing about it. So is that what Disney wanted? To divide the fan base of the greatest film franchise in movie history? I think we can all agree that Disney did not. They were hoping for a universally loved (or at least universally accepted) trilogy that would be cherished liked the first two trilogies. That obviously did not happen.

So The Last Jedi failed to keep the fans united. It divided the fan base instead of keeping it together.

Let's talk about merchandising next. I have collected Star Wars merchandise since I was a young kid. Even as an adult when the prequel trilogy was released I shelled out hundreds, probably even thousands of dollars on Star Wars "stuff." I have all the movies on VHS...and DVD...and BluRay. I have nine Force FX lightsabers. Countless items of clothing including a deluxe Jedi robe. I have three huge plastic tubs filled with unopened Star Wars collector's items. Loads of action figures, books, games, posters, mugs...you get the idea. When the Force Awakens was released, I jumped in head first. Kylo Ren action figures, Halloween costumes for my kids, a BB-8 cookie jar, the visual dictionary, etc. I was all in.

Then The Last Jedi came along.

I stopped buying Star Wars merchandise altogether. I found it hard to even purchase original and prequel trilogy items because TLJ left such a bad taste in my mouth. Everything Star Wars felt tainted. Different. And it wasn't just me. Star Wars toys and other merchandise didn't sell like it did for The Force Awakens or prequel trilogy. How many people out there actually went out and bought a Rose Tico action figure? No? How about a Holdo figure? No? How about a DJ figure? No? I am sure some of you reading this said "yes," but you are in the minority. The toys did not sell well as there wasn't as much interest in the sequel trilogy characters.

So The Last Jedi failed from a merchandising perspective.

Let's move on to the Box Office. The Force Awakens was at one point the highest grossing movie of all time at the domestic box office and second all time at the world wide box office.

Then The Last Jedi came along.

At first glance, The Last Jedi was a success. It currently ranks in the top 20 on the list of all time highest grossing box office hits. But I contend that it did not make as much money as it could have. I paid to see The Force Awakens three times in the theater. You would probably have to pay ME a considerable sum of money to get me to sit through The Last Jedi again in a theater. And I am not alone. Disney lost out on countless repeat viewings because of the choices it (and Rian Johnson and Kathleen Kennedy) made with the film. Let's face it. If you were a Star Wars fan, you were going to pay to see The Last Jedi, no matter what you heard about it. Let's face it, you may have even gone a second time, even if you did not like it, hoping that it would sit with you better the second time. So the movie was going to make its money no matter what. But what I find the most telling is the box office return of the Rise of Skywalker. TROS ranks much lower on the list of all time highest grossing movies. Those box office numbers suggest to me that TLJ killed a lot of the enthusiasm for the final movie. I did not want to even see it. The only reason I went is because my brother paid for my ticket and I was willing to view it out of morbid curiosity and to spend time with my brother who was visiting from out of state. I had zero interest to see it as a Star Wars fan. Zero. It also seemed to kill the enthusiasm for Solo: A Star Wars Story which is widely regarded as the first Star Wars flop. STAR WARS films should NEVER flop!

So The Last Jedi did not meet expectations at the box office and contributed to the lack of enthusiasm for the following two Star Wars movies.

The bottom line: whether you liked or disliked The Last Jedi, I think we can all agree that it was a failure. It was not universally accepted like the Original Trilogy or the Sequel Trilogy. It was not a merchandising success. It has created tension among fans. What other Star Wars director routinely posts things slamming those who disagreed with his choices? Even years after the movie was released? I am looking at you Rian Johnson. All he had to do was say something like "I am really sorry there were some who disagreed with my choices for The Last Jedi. I made what I thought would be a well-received movie. I hope over time Star Wars fans will learn to appreciate it as much as I do." Something like that. It's called being classy and graceful. Rian Johnson has been anything but that when addressing the reactions of those who did not like TLJ.

If you disagree that TLJ was a failure: Then you must call it a success, the opposite of a failure. So you think a movie that divides the fan base so dramatically could be considered a success? A movie that turns off life-long Star Wars fans (like myself) from the saga is a success? A movie that all but kills the merchandising of the brand is a success? A movie that diminishes enthusiasm for future entries in the SW universe is a success? If this is what you believe, I will not try to change your mind. I will respectfully disagree. I will respect your opinion so please respect mine. I honestly wish I could have liked the The Last Jedi and I am jealous of you if you do. Even today, it's hard to go a single day without thinking about the damage it did and the joy it took from my life.

I can only shake my head...and write long-winded blog entries.

I Made a Game!

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Sun, 08 Jul 2018 04:44:00 +0000

Sometimes when I'm upset about something, I have to try and use humor to help me get over it.  Such is the case with The Last Jedi.  So with that in mind...

If you hated The Last Jedi and enjoy card games like Apples to Apples, I created a game.  It is called "TLJ: Reasons."  

Feel free to download it, print it, play test it, and make any suggestions to improve it.  I would love to add more Problem and Explanation cards to the set.  It's totally free right now but if it takes off I may start charging a dollar or two for it and then donate profits to charity. 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yb9jVZOQHULbOTGv_uA694vTm7zlZYmGmi4I1y0GusA/edit?usp=sharing

TLJ: What Went Wrong

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Sat, 16 Jun 2018 22:05:00 +0000

Here is a list of things that sucked about The Last Jedi. In no particular order.

I'm going from memory (because I have refused to watch the movie again since seeing it in the theater) as well as some Twitter posts and videos on Youtube. Therefore, some of these things may not be completely accurate. Heck, I may have even repeated myself.

Some are huge plot holes, some are small nitpicks. But they all contributed to my disappointment. Enjoy. Feel free to add anything I missed in the comments!

1. The opening crawl starts with "The First Order reigns." How is that possible? The movie takes place right after the Force Awakens at the end of which the massive planet-sized base was destroyed. The First Order should be licking their wounds and regrouping.

2. Leia Poppins. Suddenly Leia is shown to be more powerful with the Force than any Jedi. She can propel herself through space while surviving in an environment with no atmosphere and temperatures exceeding negative 400 degrees F.

3. Speaking of Leia Poppins, how does she manage to pull herself back to the command bridge? She was blown outward while the ship kept moving at top speed. It would have been well past Leia in a matter of seconds.

4. Luke died. Actually I would have been ok with him dying if his character hadn't been completely humiliated and assassinated. I figured he would die heroically in Episode 9.

5. Luke was a grumpy old hermit who refused to help his friends and family, completely betraying his character established in previous movies.

6. We never got to see Luke as an all-powerful Jedi master. This is something I had been looking forward to seeing since they announced the sequel trilogy.

7. There were no lightsaber duels (where lightsabers clashed with other lightsabers). A lightsaber duel should be a staple for any Star Wars episode.

8. No Lando

9. No Wedge

10. Admiral Ackbar, a hero and fan favorite from the original trilogy, was killed basically as an after-thought. He deserved a better death or at least more acknowledgment.

11. Canto Bight. Horrible side plot. In general. The entire sub plot could have been removed from the movie completely and it would not have affected the plot at all.

12. Rose and Finn get thrown in prison... for illegal parking?

13. BB-8 beats up three guards to the point of unconsciousness... with coins.

14. Rose and Finn just happen to find exactly who they need in their cell. If DJ could escape all along, why was he still in there?

15. The end result of Canto Bight: nothing. It was pointless. It accomplished nothing except to get Rose and Finn on the First Order ship.

16. Chewbacca didn't have a big enough role. He had very little screen time.

17. Stormtroopers did nothing in the movie for the most part except stand around.

18. The whole plot of the movie revolves around a chase in space. The First Order can't catch up to the Resistance until their fuel runs out. This goes against all laws of physics. An object in motion will stay in motion in space. So even if they run out of fuel, they would still be going the same speed.

19. The First Order can't shoot down Poe because he is too close? The turrets on a First Order ship were able to fire something that took out the TIE fighter Poe and Finn stole. On the Death Star, the turrets were able to take out Rebel ships that came close to them. That makes no sense.

20. Bombs dropped in outer space will not fall downwards due to the absence of gravity. Don't give me that magnet garbage.

21. How is Rose's sister dropping the bombs from that ship with seemingly no protection from the vacuum of space?

22. Snoke was killed. I figured he would die in this trilogy...but in the second movie? And...

23. No explanation was given for Snoke's rise to power, his origin, how he found Kylo, etc.

24. In the original trilogy, Luke saw the good in Darth Vader and wanted to save him despite the fact that he murdered thousands of innocent beings...including children and his friend and mentor Obi Wan. In this movie he actually considers murdering someone (his FAMILY member) in his sleep because he senses darkness in him? That is not Luke Skywalker.

25. Luke milks alien boobs. Did we really need to see that?

26. We are never shown Luke mourning Han. But there was time to show him milking boobs? Which would be a more significant use of screen time: milking boobs or showing him dealing with the loss of a close friend, family member (I'm considering Han his brother-in-law), and beloved character from the original trilogy?

27. Hyperspace suicide attack. Why in the history of Star Wars space battles was that never thought of until now? Seems like it would have really helped when you are trying to take down a Death Star or two.

28. Holdo: why wouldn't you just tell Poe your plan? The whole Canto Bight scene could have been avoided. Lives could have been saved.

29. Why does Holdo have to pilot the ship on the suicide hyperspace run? Couldn't a droid or auto-pilot handle that?

30. Poe leads a mutiny, was reprimanded, slapped, and demoted, and was criticized by both Leia and Holdo. But then they say they like him. Suddenly.

31. Maz Kanata. How was that hologram communication recorded from that point of view? Some sort of floating GoPro? Also...

32. Not enough Maz Kanata who was seemingly established as an important character in the Force Awakens. Her hologram communication seems to have been thrown in there just so that she could be in the movie.

33. The Resistance is so small...yet Poe somehow doesn't know who Holdo (a high ranking officer who stands out with purple hair) is.

34. Rey defeats Luke Skywalker in a fight. LUKE SKYWALKER! LEGENDARY JEDI MASTER LUKE SKYWALKER defeated by someone who has never been trained. And he didn't even use his lightsaber. He used a stick or something.

35. Rey becomes super powerful in a short amount of time with virtually no training. Luke, arguably the most powerful Force-user ever, could not lift his x-wing out of a swamp after weeks (months?) of training. Rey effortlessly removes a gazillion pounds of rocks so her friends can escape.

36. Why couldn't Leia Poppins lift the rocks to escape the cave if she is so powerful with the Force?

37. Kylo Ren loses again. So in two movies, he has been beaten twice. Kind of hard to take him as a serious threat in Episode IX.

38. Captain Phasma is under-used again.

39. Captain Phasma dies.

40. Captain Phasma's armor protects her from laser blasts. Why don't all the stormtroopers have that armor? And did Rian Johnson forget that Phasma was forced to do something at gunpoint in The Force Awakens? Seems to me that if a blaster was pointed at her head it wouldn't exactly be a threat.

41. Captain Phasma orders Finn and Rose to be killed. But instead of shooting them, they have to use some archaic execution weapon that they just happened to keep on board for this type of situation. Plot convenience!

42. Speaking of plot convenience, after Holdo's suicide run, there is a huge explosion on board the First Order ship. Rose and Finn are unhurt...yet all the other stormtroopers around them are dead.

43. Somehow after the explosion, Captain Phasma (who was right next to Rose and Finn) and a legion of troopers are now marching towards them from the other side of the ship. And...

44. Captain Phasma has a rifle while approaching. Then she suddenly doesn't have it and uses some stick thing to fight Finn. Then she has a pistol.

45. Why did the rich people on Canto Bight have child slaves? Couldn't they afford droids who are less likely to cause problems and more likely to do better work due to being programmed machines?

46. Luke doesn't show up on Crait. He Force projects himself there instead. It would have been way, way, way better if he was there in person.

47. Why do ALL the tie-fighters follow the Millenium Falcon on Crait?

48. Finn was about to sacrifice himself to save the Resistance. But then Rose crashes into him and stops him. This allows the giant cannon weapon to fire. So Rose potentially sacrifices the lives of dozens of people in order to save Finn. And she is THAT good of a pilot to know that her actions would not make him crash, killing her and him? Makes no sense.

49. Rose kisses Finn. Nothing transpired in that movie to make us think she was falling in love with him.

50. Poe refers to a door as a "big-ass" door. That term doesn't really fit into the Star Wars universe. Here are some other words that could have been used: colossal, enormous, gargantuan, giant, gigantic, humongous, immense, massive, monstrous, huge, titanic, over-sized, etc.

51. BB-8 controls an AT-ST. Is there anything this droid can't do? If he can control an AT-ST, shouldn't he have been piloting one of the ships on Crait instead of sacrificing another human life?

52. BB-8 fixes x-wing damage by bashing his head into the computer thingamabob. That humor worked once when Han hit the Millenium Falcon with his hand to get the lights back on. This was too contrived and nonsensical.

53. Snoke, who was supposedly SO powerful, could not sense Kylo turning the lightsaber next to him?

54. We never get to see the abilities of Snoke beyond Force lightning and moving things with his mind. For such a powerful villain, I wanted to see more of what he could do. I guess he could open telepathic pathways between others...but still.

55. Couldn't the First Order hyperspace to somewhere in front of the Resistance ships and cut them off?

56. Those bombers were ridiculous. So slow. Seemingly no shields. Why not use Y-wings which were capable of performing the same task at much faster speeds. Doesn't seem possible for the resistance to choose to take a step back with technology. These stupid ships, for what their job is, should have the MOST shielding possible!

57. Finn announces that he is happy that the rich people were hurt with their trashing of the casino place. This doesn't make sense. Surely the rich were insured. Surely the casino was insured. I don't think it hurt them all that badly. And who is going to make all those repairs? SLAVE LABOR!

58. If Rey grew up on a desert planet, how did she learn how to swim so well?

59. Rey's parents were nobodies? All that lead-up. All that set-up from the Force Awakens. All the speculation. Nope. They were nobody. (*Note: Yes, Rey's heritage is revealed in TROS but this was written well before that).

60. Rey's Force vision in Maz Kanata's castle was not addressed at all. Why did Obi-Wan speak to her? Why did the lightsaber call to her?

61. Luke should have had a green lightsaber when he...I mean his stupid Force projected self...showed up on Crait.

62. Kylo destroys his mask. I liked the mask. It gave him an identity. It showed how devoted he was to striking fear into others and how much he idolized Vader. He didn't need it to breathe like Vader. It was a symbol. Now it's gone.

63. Speaking of Kylo's mask, why did Snoke all of a sudden tell him the mask was ridiculous. So in all this time with Kylo, with all of his training, he never mentioned this before? It's suddenly ridiculous and he doesn't want him to wear it?

64. Yoda shows up and interacts with nature. So suddenly Force Ghosts can alter the weather and summon lightning? So why don't Force ghosts get together and destroy all the bad guys with lightning from above?

65. Yoda hits Luke on his head with his cane. So Force ghosts can suddenly use objects to hurt living beings? Why don't Force ghosts beat up the bad guys then?

66. Finn is somehow able to drag Rose's unconscious body across an entire battle field (in a short amount of time no less) without getting shot.

67. General Hux was turned into a bumbling fool.

68. Would "meditating" really kill arguably the most powerful Force user ever?

69. The gold dice that Luke gave Leia should have immediately disappeared when Luke did. But no, it conveniently stayed visible until Kylo found it.

70. The Resistance ships were supposedly out of range of the First Order's cannons. Again the laws of physics are ignored. Unless the ships were traveling faster than the cannon blasts, it doesn't make sense that they could not do damage from a certain distance. How does a laser blast lose its effectiveness in space? A laser blast shot at a ship from a yard away in space is going to do the same damage as a laser blast 100 yards away.

71. The whole mirror scene was a waste of time. If Rian Johnson was trying to re-create a cave similar to that on Dagobah, he failed. Rey sees some reflections of herself. She asks her mirror image to show her her parents. Guess what? It doesn't show it to her. Waste of time.

72. Too many obvious political messages. Just tell me a good story. Keep your political opinions out of it.

73. Snoke said that it was time to complete Kylo's training. Seemed like JJ Abrams was setting something up for The Last Jedi. And it was completely ignored. Kylo received no additional training whatsoever.

74. No Knights of Ren. It would have been nice to have some other compelling baddies (who can use a lightsaber and/or Force powers) especially now with Snoke gone. All we have to look forward to now is more Kylo and only Kylo.

75. Luke claimed he went to that island to die. He wanted no part of anything or anyone. Then why did he leave behind a map? Seems like he was open to being found...perhaps if there was a crisis that required his assistance.

76. R2-D2 and C3PO were pretty much useless background characters.

77. Bad editing on display (Google this if you don't believe me). One of the Praetorian guards has two daggers. But when he gets tied up with Rey and it is obvious he could have easily stabbed her in the back with his other dagger, it suddenly disappears. I didn't notice this at first but now I wouldn't be able to un-notice it.

78. We had no emotional attachment to Rose's sister (because we had never met her on screen before and had never seen her interact with other characters). We see Rose mourning her loss...but we don't get to see Luke mourn Han?

79. The Resistance ships are said to be faster than the First Order's. Go back to any previous Star Wars movie and you will see that this is never a problem. Heck the opening scene of the original Star Wars: A New Hope movie shows a small ship struggling to outrun a star destroyer. The Milennium Falcon (widely considered to be one of the fastest ships in the Star Wars universe) had trouble shaking a star destroyer in The Empire Strikes Back.

80. The way loose ends were tied up and how the movie ended with that Force-sensitive kid looking at the stars...it seemed like the end of a trilogy, not the end of the second film in a trilogy.

81. Holdo, or someone else, could have easily done the suicide hyperspace maneuver earlier, thus saving countless other lives. All the other ships had hyperspace capabilities. Why wait until the Resistance has already lost a ton of lives and multiple ships?

82. The Force Awakens FELT like a Star Wars movie. The tone of The Last Jedi was much different. I almost felt like I was not watching a film that continued a series. The Canto Bight scene especially did not have a Star Wars feel.

83. Finn is suddenly a decent pilot on Crait despite demonstrating the complete opposite in the last movie which took place like a few days before this movie. It is also assumed that he piloted a First Order ship down to Crait...unless Rose the mechanic or BB-8 was a pilot.

84. Snoke seems to be clueless about the technology used to track the Resistance through hyperspace. A powerful leader of a large military force would know this. Plus Snoke had Force powers. He could create a mental connection between two people light years away from each other...but couldn't read Hux's thoughts?

85. Too many incidences of subverting expectations just for the sake of subversion. Luke throwing his lightsaber over his shoulder? Really? After all that dramatic set up at the end of The Force Awakens? He could have easily held it solemnly, lost in thought, and then handed back to Rey or put it on his belt. Instead, an important scene is ruined for a cheap laugh.

86. Finn and Rose show up at the casino exactly when the code breaker they are looking for is at a high stakes table exactly like Maz told them. What are the odds? Is the guy standing there 24/7? Doesn't he have to eat, pee, or sleep? Nope. He's always gambling sun-up to sun-down. And apparently he always, always, always wears the exact same outfit.

87. Kylo Ren gets wet while communicating with Rey. This is not explained at all. Can matter be transported by the Force? If so, does this mean Luke Skywalker could have just been transported somewhere else? Maybe he didn't die after all?!?! His mechanical hand disappeared too so...maybe????Fingers crossed. (*Note: please remember this was written well before TROS was released)

88. DJ magically finds Finn and Rose on the edge of a cliff. How? More plot conveniences I guess.

89. The First Order lands miles away from the base on Crait. Brilliant! *and yes I realize that this same thing occurred in The Empire Strikes Back and The Phantom Menace.

90. Rey needs to translate Chewbacca's roars for Luke. I think a Jedi Master who was friends with a Wookiee for 30 years would have been more able to communicate with him by now. I am sure it didn't take Han 30 years to learn Chewbacca's language.

91. Rey has no faults. No ways for her character to develop. Mary Sue.

92. Maz claimed that there was only one person (code breaker) in the galaxy who could complete the mission. But then somehow DJ was able to do it too.

93. There was only one exciting scene: the throne room battle. I can't say there were any other scenes that kept me on the edge of my seat. And now that I know about all the faults in the choreography, I would no longer find it exciting the next time I watch it.

94. Speaking of that scene, why did all the Praetorian guards attack Kylo and Rey after Snoke was killed? They undoubtedly served their master loyally. But now he's dead. Wouldn't at least some of them decide to remain loyal to the leader of the First Order...which is now Kylo Ren?

95. Nien Nunb, who is a veteran, experienced pilot, does not fly a ship in the battle on Crait. But a janitor and a mechanic do (Finn and Rose). I guess the Resistance did not want to give it their best effort.

96. The special effects in the movie were amazing...except Yoda. Yoda looked cartoonish to me. Especially when he first appears.

97. The Dreadnaught did not have any shields. Come on! Heck the Star Destroyers in Rogue One had shields that needed to be disabled first by Y-wings before it could be taken out.

98. Speaking of shields, hanger bays and bridges are able to be destroyed easily by a single fighter? These are arguably the most important part of ships. They should be the most heavily shielded.

99. Luke had to ask "how did you find me?" A Jedi Master as wise as Luke would have remembered that he left a map to his location and realized exactly how he was found.

100. This one is just about the general feeling I had when I left the theater. After seeing the prequels and after seeing Episode VII, I couldn't wait to return to the theater and see it again. I couldn't wait for the next episode to come out. After The Last Jedi, I left the theater not excited at all. I had already pre-purchased tickets to see it again a few days later...and I didn't want to go. So The Last Jedi did a bad job keeping this old Star Wars nerd excited about the saga. Which, in my opinion, is proof that it FAILED.

101. It has been established that astromech droids are required to calculate hyperspace courses for xwings. So how was Luke able to get so far away without R2-D2?

102. Chewbacca goes with Rey (who he has known for a few days) instead of staying with Luke (who he has known for 30 years).

103. Poe ignores Leia's orders to retreat and not attack the First Order ship. Is he the only one with a radio that communicates with her? Can't she just radio the other ships and order them to disengage? She outranks Poe.

104. And why would she bother calling off the attack? Those bombers are so darn slow that even if she did order them to disengage and turn around, it would have been way too late. The First Order would have caught up to them and blew them away.

105. How did Rey escape the First Order ship and get on the Falcon after her "duel" with Kylo Ren? Did she contact Chewie to come and get her somehow? Or maybe she magically transported herself onboard?

106. How is the Millenium Falcon able to travel through hyperspace across the galaxy without the need for more fuel (since apparently fueling is a thing now)?

107. Rose is said to work "behind pipes all day." But when we first meet her, she's working security to stop deserters. She calls Finn a traitor then goes on a mutinous secret mission herself.

108. Lasers apparently can "arc" in space.

109. Kylo Ren's lightsaber wounds are tended to...but no mention is made of his blaster wound in his gut. He seems to have miraculously healed as he is unaffected by it despite the movie taking place a day or two after TFA.

110. The position of Kylo's facial wound moved since TFA. Consistency is obviously not important to Rian Johnson.

111. When Rey shows up on Ach-to, Luke is wearing his old, tattered Jedi robes. J.J. Abrams was obviously setting something up for the next movie (like, I don't know, Luke returning as an actual hero). But then Luke changes to a beggar's outfit for the rest of his scenes. So does Luke just put on his ceremonial robes for special occasions? Like when a ship lands on his island?

112. If you watch TESB and AOTC again, you will witness the extraordinary difficulty level for a well-trained 850 year old Jedi master to lift and xwing and a giant pillar thingee (which was about to fall on Obi-Wan). Watch how difficult and exhausting it is for Yoda. Then watch Rey, with two lessons of training, lift a crap load of boulders (which would most likely weigh as much or more than an x-wing) like it was nothing.

113. Why are the super slow bombers ordered to "keep a tight formation?" If they are so slow and unable to maneuver well, wouldn't it be a better military strategy to spread them out? Concentrating them into one area gives the enemy an easier target.

114. Many defenders of this movie will point to graphic novels and other outside materials to explain many of things presented so far in this list. Casual movie-goers should not have to resort to content outside of a movie to understand/explain/enjoy the content inside a movie.

115. Yoda calls Luke "Skywalker." That is not consistent with the previous movies. Yoda always called Luke "Luke." Why would he suddenly start calling him something else? It would be like calling your friend by his first name for 30 years then suddenly decide to start calling him by his last name.

116. What kind of animals break through windows and structures without knowing what's on the other side? Evidently the animals that Finn and Rose ride. What if there was a pool of lava waiting for them on the other side?

117. The First Order destroyed several Republic planets in the Force Awakens, including the capital. That supposedly decimated the Republic. But assuming the galaxy has hundreds, maybe thousands of planets/systems (think of the Senate chamber in the prequel trilogy), wouldn't the destruction of just a few of them cause the rest of them to unite? Instead there is only a small band or resistance left. What about all the other hundreds/thousands of planets? Are we supposed to believe they are all under First Order control now? Not believable, and not explained.

118. If Luke wanted to die, why wouldn't he do it while also doing something useful? Like crashing his x-wing into a First Order ship? No, he'd prefer to just rot away on a deserted island instead.

119. Han Solo said Luke presumably went off looking for the first Jedi Temple. If that was the case, he found it. Now what? It would make more sense that he was looking for it for A. Guidance B. More power C. Information to rebuild the Jedi Order. Nope! He was just looking for it so he could die there.

120. If Luke wanted to go to the most "unfindable" place in the galaxy, why did he choose a place of such great importance (the first Jedi temple). Sounds like a place that someone, perhaps through the use of the Force or Sith holocron, could find eventually. Plus there was an actual map to his location.

121. Luke says he will give Rey three lessons. He only gave two. What makes it worse is that supposedly there is a 3rd lesson in the Blu Ray deleted scenes. So...it was more important to include alien boobs and casino nonsense than show a lesson from a Jedi Master to a student who suddenly has amazing powers.

122. Ghosts need canes to help them walk? Yoda even acts like he's labored in doing so. Not plausible.

123. Why did Yoda act like a goofball similar to when he first met Luke on Dagobah? On Dagobah, there was a reason: testing Luke's patience. After that, he was his "normal" stoic, wise self. There was no reason for Yoda to act like he did in TLJ.

124. Just a day or two before TLJ, Maz's business was completely destroyed. Now, suddenly she is already involved in a "union dispute."

125. When Luke first used the guns on the Milennium Falcon, it was a difficult task. He managed to destroy two TIE fighters. Rey takes down about a dozen of them above the salt planet with relative ease. At least Luke had SOME previous experience shooting things on Tatooine. Rey: none. Instant expert gunner.

126. There was no point to Luke going to the planet with the first Jedi temple if he was just going off to die and didn't want to be found. If I didn't know where Luke was, using a map to find the planet with the first Jedi temple would be a logical choice. Luke should have chosen a remote planet in the far, far Outer Rim. Just further evidence that Rian Johnson did not follow what was set up for him.

127. Now that Yoda destroyed the big tree and "supposedly" the texts, what purpose do the Caretakers serve now? Yoda just sent them to unemployment.

128. Rey attacks Luke with a lightsaber. What would she have done if she connected and sliced him in half? Their fight makes no sense.

129. Would anyone with half a brain really mistake a droid for a slot machine?

130. There were several First Order ships in pursuit of the resistance. Our heroes somehow know exactly which ship is tracking them.

131. Rose seems to know a lot about the tracking system of the First Order which we were told is "new tech."

132. Someone in real danger (fighting for their life in a gun battle), especially a supposedly very wise being, would not want to lose focus and risk distraction by answering a phone call. Maz does.

133. Stormtroopers land on Crait, a salt planet...with snow gear on. Trying too hard to look like Empire Strikes Back I guess.

134. Some dude has to actually tell the audience that it's salt...after already being there for a while. Seems like something that someone would figure out shortly after landing there because heck, the entire planet seems to be covered with it.

135. Rose would have never been able to catch up to Finn in their vehicles on Crait. Finn accelerated to near top speed and Rose had turned back in the other direction before that.

136. Leia leaves the dice behind. If it was something of such sentimental value, she would have taken it with her. Or are we supposed to infer that she knew it was a force-projected object?

137. Rey seems to transport from Ach-to (supposedly very, very far away) to Crait instantly.

138. No one said "I've got a bad feeling about this." Yeah, BB-8 said it. Whatever. Rian Johnson just HAD to be different.

139. Apparently no trained soldiers or officers can detect a droid hiding in an over-turned trash can.

140. A few Resistance peeps attempt mutiny and point guns at Admiral Holdo. But no one else reacts. Background characters go about their business, oblivious to what is occurring in the exact same room, mere feet away.

141. Resistance ships have cloaking devices. The First Order can run de-cloaking scans. What's the point then?

142. Snoke was after Luke but then realizes it is Rey that is "the light to meet the rising darkness." He seemingly recognizes that Rey is more of a threat. But then still wants Luke and tortures Rey as part of an attempt to find him.

143. Too many new Force powers introduced in too short of a time. It wasn't until the third movie (ROTJ) that we saw Force Lightning. This movie gives us Force projections, Force Face Time, deep space survival, Poppinesque flight, transporting matter, weather interaction, etc.

144. A Resistance ship is out of fuel. It somehow also loses power. It can't even steer. So why does a captain have to stay on it and die? There is absolutely no reason for anyone to remain on board.

145. The lightsaber enters Snoke's body from the side. It comes out the front. Shouldn't part of his body still be attached in the back?

146. Speaking of that lightsaber, doesn't it create a whole other plot problem with other Star Wars movies (similar to the "Holdo Maneuver")? If Force users are able to activate other people's lightsabers without touching them, wouldn't it be a common strategy for them to turn on the lightsabers of their enemies from afar? Think about it. If lightsabers swing from a Jedi's utility belt, wouldn't it slice off their foot if it was turned on suddenly? Or better yet, in a lightsaber duel, wouldn't a Jedi or Sith use the Force to turn OFF his/her opponent's saber? Think about THAT. If I am a Jedi Master, I will swing my saber at my opponent. As he goes to block, I turn off his saber. He's dead. The Holdo Maneuver and turning on a lightsaber from afar make sense...I just don't think they should have been included in the 8th movie of a saga without it ever being used before.

147. The Resistance waits behind the giant door on Crait, knowing full well that the First Order is going to try and breach it by blasting it open...instead of spreading out throughout the cave in an attempt to survive as long as possible until help arrives.

148. Somehow, Rey manages to escape the "throne room," navigate a ship with which she is completely unfamiliar, evade a legion of enemy troops...weaponless..., and somehow find an escape craft belonging to Snoke. She then supposedly pilots this craft and finds Chewbacca without anyone from the First Order noticing them. And this is all done off-screen.

149. The Resistance ships are said to be "lighter" than the First Order's. Last I checked, saying something was "lighter" refers to weight. Weight is a measure of the pull of gravity on an object. The ships were in space where there is no gravity.

150. The First Order claims it can't catch the Resistance ships. But Kylo Ren and his wingmates have no trouble catching up.

151. Instead of deploying dozens...or hundreds...of fighters to attack the Resistance, they deploy...4. For such a significant mission, a military powerhouse would certainly send out more ships to ensure success...especially when someone as powerful and important as Kylo Ren is piloting one of the fighters.

152. On Crait, the Resistance decides to keep only a handful of people behind the huge, sturdy, blast-proof doors. Then sends everyone else basically to their death, stationed in trenches outside the door with hardly more than hand guns to battle TIE fighters and AT-AT's. There is absolutely no reason for them to be outside the base. What exactly did they intend to accomplish in those trenches?

153. Speaking of which, Why would the First Order even need to get inside? To kill the five people behind the door? They could virtually wipe out the entire Resistance by concentrating their fire power on the trenches and clunky vehicles in their path. Take them out, surround the mines (since there is no other way out), and wait for them to either starve to death or surrender.

154. Speaking of that cave, what military genius would EVER construct a base with only one way in or out? And that one way is a GIGANTIC door.

155. Wait a minute...if there was only one way in or out, how do the troops get outside to defend the gigantic door?

156. What happened to all the Resistance soldiers in the trenches? Did they die? Well, then where are their bodies? Did they learn the secrets of invisibility? Because they are not inside the cave either.

157. The slow bombers uses archaic bombs. Check out the bombs used over 50 years ago on display in Episode II (those cool sounding, highly destructive bombs deployed by Jango Fett as he tried to destroy Obi-Wan).

158. The slow bombers don't explode. They just kind of flame up and burn. With that kind of payload on board.

159. Some will argue that the bombs are magnetic and do not rely on gravity. Well if they are magnetic, what prevents them from staying magnetically attracted to the ship they are supposed to exit? Or from each other and exploding above their target? Selective magnetism?

160. With such a massive payload, couldn't a droid pilot them and crash into their targets instead of having to fly slowly above them? Surely those ships have a hyperdrive on them. They could have each pulled a Holdo maneuver!

161. Luke would never refer to a lightsaber as a "laser sword." The only person to ever refer to a lightsaber as a laser sword was a little kid with no Jedi training.

162. Rey sucker punches Luke from behind with a stick. Wouldn't it be more appropriate for her character to simply approach Luke and ask him her question? Or continue pestering him? Especially if she didn't know the answer to the question yet. Resorting to physical violence doesn't fit her.

163. Praetorian guard armor is inconsistent. The body armor seems to partially repel lightsaber slashes. But the head armor, which arguably should be most protective, allows a lightsaber blade to pass completely through it.

164. Another flaw in the choreography of the battle with the Praetorian guards: one guard actually tosses his staff to the side before he is killed by Kylo Ren. Look it up on youtube. Another, because (assuming) his timing was off, swipes wildly in the air, obviously intentionally avoiding contact with Rey.

165. We are led to believe that Snoke can basically Force-project two other people across the galaxy without any difficulty, but if Luke projects himself it's too strenuous and he dies.

166. Why choose dice, for which the audience has no emotional attachment (heck I didn't even realize they existed until this movie), as the sentimental object to remember Han?

167. Leia is able to hold the dice and Luke is able to kiss Leia's head (assuming she felt the kiss by her reaction). So do Force projections have weight/mass? Is it a user-selective process (since Kylo's saber passes through the Force-projected body of Luke like it's a hologram)?

168. It's the first time we see Luke on screen with Leia and the droids since the original trilogy. We get Luke complimenting Leia's hair and a wink at C-3PO.

169. Lack of attention to detail. There are plenty of examples above, but here's another: the First Order bombards the area where Luke (I mean, the stupid Force projection of Luke) is standing with hundreds of powerful laser blasts. The amount of dirt displaced from those countless blasts would be enormous. There would no doubt be a crater or hole left from the assault. However, there is nothing but charred dirt after the smoke settles.

170. The "big-ass" impenetrable metal door on the Crait cave base somehow burns.

171. The First Order, with the devastating Dreadnaught, somehow thinks it's a tactical advantage to fire on the rebel base rather than first firing on the "sitting duck" transport ships orbiting the planet.

172. Look where the Falcon lands on Crait. How does Rey get down those completely vertical cliffs? How do the escaping rebels get up it?

173. How does Finn know that they are "only tracking them from the lead ship?" As a sanitation worker, he sure seems to know a lot suddenly. He somehow has knowledge about a specific ship mechanism (which was identified as new tech) and military strategy.

174. The Resistance did not know the Dreadnaught would be arriving. Yet they deployed all those slow bombers almost instantly. If there wasn't a target, why would the bombers be loaded and deployed? What was their initial target before the Dreadnaught arrived? Were they going to split up and go after the Star Destroyers? With their lack of speed and agility, that would be pointless.

175. Luke is about to burn down a big tree. Then Yoda shows up and burns down the big tree. But now Luke seems upset that the big tree is burning.

176. Too many incidences of characters re-explaining the plot to the audience. For example, Rose says out loud to Finn something like "Maz said the codebreaker would be here wearing a red flower. Let's find him so we can get out of here." Um, yeah Rose. We already knew why you and Finn went to the dumb casino place.

177. The Empire Strikes Back director Ivan Kirshner said it best: "I felt I needed humor in the picture and yet I could not have gags." There's a difference between humor and gags and Mr. Kirshner knew it. Rian Johnson did not. He had too many "gags" in his movie. Humor is important in Star Wars. Gags are not.

178. The fact that BB-8 has so many appendages coming out of him is absurd. In the prequel trilogy, I thought it was borderline unbelievable that R2-D2 suddenly had these new features we hadn't seen before (like the ability to fly). So I thought that this much smaller droid housing so many mechanics was ridiculous. All so he could plug up sparks on an x-wing and pilot an AT-ST I guess.

179. Kylo Ren lost in a lightsaber duel to someone who had never held a lightsaber before. Yet he decides to go to the surface alone to face arguably the most powerful Jedi that ever lived in one-on-one combat. And this is AFTER he pummeled Luke with enough fire power to destroy several square blocks and witnessed that it had zero effect on him.

180. C-3PO no longer has a red arm. Again, this movie was supposed to take place a day or two after the Force Awakens. That doesn't seem like a lot of time to get a new arm. Nor does it seem very important considering their precarious situation . C-3PO no doubt was valuable to the Resistance. But they better get a different color arm on him...because! No reason to change his arm at all. The red arm established a unique characteristic for the new trilogy. He had no coverings in Episode 1 and built up to the gold we know and love by Episode IV. Then he had a red arm in Episode VII. It was relevant. It showed time had passed and things changed. But Rian Johnson decided it was more important to give him a gold arm again.

181. Finn calling Phasma "Chrome Dome" was stupid. It elicited the same reaction I had when I heard C-3PO say "this is such a drag" in AOTC. That jargon just doesn't seem to fit in the Star Wars universe.

182. Poe seems to know Maz well. How is that possible?

183. A huge explosion. Fire and smoke surround them. Dead bodies galore. It is obvious that they are on a "sinking ship." Yet Phasma and her legion seem to have no desire to immediately attempt to save their own lives. There is no urgency to the horrible situation unfolding around them. Instead they slowly march in formation so that Phasma can have a fight with Finn.

184. How does Kylo know so much about Rey's parents?

185. If de-cloaking scans are so helpful, shouldn't they be run constantly, just in case enemy ships try to escape? Why wait to run the scans? Assume all ships have cloaking devices and keep the device running.

186. If Leia is so powerful with the Force (remember...she can survive in an atmosphere void of any oxygen and that is hundreds of degrees below zero plus fly through space), why does she just sit there while her friends are destroyed by the First Order ships on the way to Crait? Can't she do something? Anything? Stop the laser bolts ala Kylo Ren? Push the ships off course? Create some kind of Force shield? Nope. Her powers are useless unless she finds herself floating in space.

187. Why would the First Order bother keeping DJ alive? Why pay him all that money and give him a free spaceship? Just shoot him!

188. Speaking of that, when and how did the First Order make that arrangement with DJ? What exactly did DJ do for them that warrants a boatload of cash and free ship?

189. Luke refers to the Jedi as a religion. He would have never called it a religion. Horrible dialogue.

190. In yet another comedic (gag) moment gone wrong, BB-8 blows the smoke away from his money shooting device. It's a droid. Who does not breathe air. Where does the air come from that blows out the smoke?

191. We are lead to believe that the First Order is massive but the Resistance is tiny...despite 30 years of existence in a predominately Republic-controlled galaxy.

192. The slave children on Canto Dumb somehow know about Luke Skywalker's heroic "battle" with the First Order. Are these kids allowed to watch the news or something?

193. Luke decides to train Rey...not after learning he was not there to help save his best friend's life, not after hearing that millions lost their lives after the Starkiller Base attack, not after a plea from Rey, not after his friend Chewbacca came to visit...after seeing an old recording of his sister asking for Obi-Wan's help. Side note: R2-D2 playing that message was one of the only good parts of the movie. I really did like it. But the fact that it was what swayed Luke instead of all the other terrible things that happened (and that he could have helped prevent) is ridiculous.

194. Luke Force-projects to buy the Resistance time to escape. How did he know that's what was needed? If he knew the Resistance was in trouble, trapped in a base, he should have also known Rey was about to arrive in the Millenium Falcon and would be a distraction herself. Luke could have Force-projected inside the base, said "follow me," led them to the back exit, and used the Force to move the rocks himself. Not possible? Ok, then have Leia do it since she is so powerful. My point is that there was no need for Luke to Force-project into a duel with Kylo. No need for him to do what he did. No need for him to die.

195. Leia shoots and stuns Poe right after waking up. She had been unconscious. She has no idea what is going on. As a military general, she would not instantly side with Holdo and shoot one of her officers without knowing all the facts. The Leia I remember would be much more diplomatic.

196. Kylo Force-fights Rey over a lightsaber. The dude can stop laser blasts in mid-air, but he can't over-power someone who has only been using the Force for a couple of days. He also has his own lightsaber. Activate it and send it flying toward Rey or the other saber. Or just let Rey have it and then battle her with his own. That would have given the movie a real lightsaber duel.

197. Leia is involved in a massive explosion. But has no cuts, scrapes, or bruises at all.

198. In the opening space battle, the Star Destroyers do not assist in taking out enemy fighters. They just sit there, basically doing nothing.

199. Leia is shown to be upset with Poe for the decisions he made leading to the destruction of the Dreadnaught. Why? The Resistance lost a few dozen spacecraft and a few dozen lives while the First Order lost a ship worth an astronomical amount of money, containing thousands of soldiers, and capable of destruction unmatched by any Resistance vessel. Leia should be applauding Poe and acknowledging that the mission was NOT a complete failure. Instead she slaps him.

200. Holdo wears a dress. All other military officers wear military clothing.

201. If Finn and Rose can leave the fleet undetected, why can't they all do that? Can't they just use more ships like the one Finn and Rose used? If it's not the ship, can't they use whatever device they used to remain undetected?

202. DJ somehow knows about the cloaking devices despite never being told by Rose or Finn nor being in contact with the Resistance.

203. Rose's "iconic" line is stupid and makes no sense. It went something like "we're not going to win this war by destroying what we hate. We're going to win by saving what we love." THAT'S WHAT FINN WAS DOING! He was sacrificing himself to save the people he loved.

204. If Luke's plan was to stall the First Order and give the Resistance time to escape, why didn't he tell them that? They would have gotten a head start. Instead they are left to watch Luke face off against Kylo and then figure out what Luke's plan is themselves. Not something a wise Jedi Master would do.

205. After all that happened between C-3PO and Luke, all we get is a wink from Luke. It is the first time we have seen them on screen together in 40 years. To make matters worse, Mark Hamill has stated that the original script called for him to ignore C-3PO and just walk right past him. Thankfully, Mark came up with this. So at least there was SOME acknowledgement.

206. In TFA, Kylo is obsessed with Vader. Obsessed with the past. Now he suddenly wants to "let the past die." Keeping in mind only a couple of days have passed.

207. Luke's plan was to distract Kylo so the Resistance could escape? That doesn't make much sense. Did Luke somehow know about the back exit? And if he did, why didn't he inform the others about it to assist in their escape? If he knew about it, did he just figure Leia would move the rocks with the Force (which she obviously could not do). Assuming he did NOT know about the exit, what the heck was his plan then? Distract Kylo, reveal himself as a stupid Force projection, then allow the First Order to march inside the base to kill everyone trapped in there?

208. BB-8 just happens to have a device perfectly designed to house and rapid fire coins...at a high velocity and with deadly accuracy.

209. Page is laying on her back as the detonator falls past her. Somehow she is able to flip over completely and is suddenly on her stomach when she catches it.

210. Let's say Poe listened to Leia and retreated. With the slow bombers. How would that have worked out? TIE fighters would have swooped in from behind and annihilated them. So that makes Leia look unintelligent and her argument with Poe stupid.

211. Much like a similar issue I had with The Phantom Menace, The Last Jedi has "too much stuff going on." There were basically four plots going on at the same time. Rey's adventures with Luke, Kylo, and Snoke, Finn and Rose's adventure, Luke's relationship/duel with Kylo, and the Resistance escaping.

212. Even if the Resistance succeeded in escaping to Crait, wouldn't the First Order find out about it anyway? They can run life-sign scans (which they do in the movie). They would discover there was no one on board...which meant they escaped using smaller craft.   Where would those smaller craft go? Oh, gee, I don't know, how about that planet that's visible right there?

213. Finn and Rose escape undetected on a tiny ship that has hyperspace capabilities. The rest of resistance try to escape on larger ships designed for emergency evacuations...but they don't have hyperspace capabilities for some reason.

214. Finn and Rose have no plan to get back to the Resistance ship once they do their stupid code thing. But then Finn says that he knows where the escape pods are. The First Order would shoot down any craft trying to leave its ship figuring it would be housing deserters. This point is proven in The Force Awakens because Finn needs a pilot to fly him away from the First Order...otherwise he would have just taken an escape pod.

215. The tone of the movie at its end is completely wrong. The surviving handful of Resistance fighters are talking, hugging, laughing...like THOUSANDS of their friends weren't just killed. Like they didn't just get their butts kicked. Like they didn't just lose hundreds of space craft. Like they don't have to start from scratch and rebuild everything. They should be shell-shocked at the moment, realizing how lucky they are to be alive. The tone should have resembled that of ESB's ending.

216. In The Force Awakens, Rey's vision shows Kylo and the Knights of Ren, all in full gear including Kylo's mask, presumably at the destruction of the Jedi temple that Luke started. Yet in The Last Jedi, this is ignored. Kylo destroys the temple still as Ben Solo on the night that Luke considers murdering him in his sleep (that still sounds ridiculous).

217. Luke, as an all-powerful Jedi master, surely knew that Force projecting would kill him. So if he was going to die anyway, why not just go to the salt planet in person and sacrifice himself that way? Or Force project closer to Kylo's walker. Maybe all that time inside talking to Leia could have been saved. Maybe that was the extra effort that ended up killing him.

218. If Luke could Force-project himself to make Kylo believe he was physically on the planet, why not show himself running behind some rocks in the opposite direction of the base. Then immediately stop Force-projecting. This would serve the exact same purpose of distracting the First Order and commanding all of Kylo's attention while buying time for the Resistance to escape. The difference is that it wouldn't kill Luke because he would only have to use a small part of his energy to Force-project for a fraction of the time.

219. Where does Finn get the sled he uses to drag Rose's body back to the cave? And he somehow has time to strap her into this magically appearing sled in the middle of a wide open battle field avoiding laser fire from the First Order.

220. Ben Solo...a student...is somehow so powerful with the Force that he can best perhaps the most powerful Jedi master in history, Luke Skywalker, and destroy his Jedi school. Conversely, Luke Skywalker is somehow unable to prevent his student from overtaking him and burning down his Jedi school.

221. Surely (arguably) the greatest Jedi Master of all time would not resort to igniting a weapon if he was going to covertly kill someone in their sleep. Luke could have (and should have if he was the wise Jedi we believed he was) just snapped Ben's neck like a twig afar. Or squeezed his heart or brain. I know that sounds gory, but killing him with a lightsaber would have raised so many questions. A lightsaber wound is not something that he would have been able to conceal from the other students or even Leia. If it looked like he died in his sleep, I doubt Luke would have been accused of anything.

222. Most of the visual effects in TLJ are amazing. However, Finn and Rose riding on the weird horse animals did not look believable at all.

223. We are introduced to a cool new character: Tallie. And then she is killed almost immediately.

224. Luke has cut himself off from the Force, but decides to dress in his full Jedi outfit (when Rey arrives). Yeah that makes sense. When I'm isolated on a deserted island, it's important to wear my ceremonial robes.

225. Luke changes back to his full Jedi robes when he decides to burn the sacred texts. Was this some sort of ceremonial decision? Why bother changing into the outfit of something of which you are trying to rid yourself?

226. Kylo and Rey team up to defeat the Praetorian guards. Cool! We think that this is a new twist and that the two of them are going to be together (for good or evil). But then the moment is ruined minutes later when they fight each other and go their separate ways.

227. Kylo shows that he is conflicted and is unable to fire on and kill his mother. But then he suddenly seems to have no problem with it as he attempts to wipe out her and the others on the salt planet.

228. Yoda shows up to teach Luke a valuable lesson. The problem is it's a lesson he's already learned. Yoda says "The greatest teacher failure is." On his journey to becoming a Jedi master, Luke has failed MANY times (saving his aunt and uncle, getting mauled by a Wampa, experiencing the dark cave, losing a hand in a duel with Vader). So having Yoda appear to explain this to Luke is insulting.

229. In the opening crawl, the Resistance base is referred to as the Rebel. The sequel movies so far have fought hard to distinguish their Resistance from the OT's rebellion. Throwing it in the opening crawl is confusing and shows a lack of attention to detail.

230. Another flaw in the opening crawl: It mentions that the First Order reigns. Yet in the very next sentence, it explains that they are "attempting to seize military control" or something like that. If they "reigned," they would already have military control.

231. The opening of the movie ruins the end of TFA by completely changing what JJ Abrams set up. You will notice the tone at the end of TFA...Luke is dressed in ceremonial robes. He removes his hood in a most noble, majestic way. It was obvious that JJ believed he was setting up a good reason for Luke to be on that island. Something that would require him to dress in his robes. NOPE. He just came there to die. The tone at the beginning of TLJ is completely different. The majesty, nobility, and stoic nature of Luke shown at the end of TFA is crudely replaced by a grumpy hermit who quickly changes into a hobo outfit.

232. Why have we never seen these amazing new Force powers before? In TFA, I admit I was a little in awe that someone was able to use the Force to stop a laser blast in mid air. Especially done by someone like Kylo Ren whose training wasn't even complete yet. I let that slide. But in TLJ we see Force Projections and communicating through the Force with Galaxy Facetime. I found this to be implausible based on the fact that we have never seen more experienced Force Users use this ability. I might have let it slide because we do not know Snoke's backstory and training history and supposedly he was the one who established that link...but then Rey and Kylo Force communicate at the very end of the TLJ proving that Kylo and Rey are capable of performing this feat on their own, without Snoke.

233. No Snap Wexley. Porkins 2.0.

234. Poe was right about destroying the Dreadnaught. Had it not been destroyed, the First Order would have followed the Resistance and blew them away (since the Dreadnaught is a "fleet killer" or whatever Poe called it). But nobody mentions this. When Holdo is acting high and mighty, Poe should have said "you'd be dead right now if it wasn't for me." Instead, the fact that he was correct is ignored.

235. The new characters introduced are not memorable or even very likable. Who is going out and buying a DJ, Rose, and Holdo action figure?

236. Finn refers the Canto Bight law enforcement as "the cops." More language you are not supposed to hear in the Star Wars universe.

237. Rose promotes "saving what we love and not destroying what we hate." Yet she was pretty quick to want to hurt the casino owners by destroying their property and stealing/freeing their animals. Seemed pretty happy about it too.

238. Rose also gets mad at Finn for getting distracted from their mission on Canto Bight but then she herself causes the huge detour to save the horse creature things.

239. Rey calls Kylo a monster...yet seems fixated on saving and converting him back to the light (for some reason).

240. Finn claims hyperspace tracking is not possible. Later he explains to Rose how it works and announces he cleaned the tracker's room as a janitor on that ship.

241. Rey and Kylo engage in a "Force Pull duel." You know what would have been more exciting instead? A lightsaber duel.

242. Poe and the others are able open a door to let Leia Poppins back onto the ship...without immediately being sucked out into space.

243. Ben's pull to the dark side is not explained. All he knows is that he wakes up and senses something bad with his uncle. And that leads him to destroy an entire temple and presumably murder every last student because of it? Luke SENSED darkness in him. He hadn't fallen to the dark side yet. Or did he? It is never explained.

244. Wouldn't Kylo sense Luke was not dead? If he tried to kill him by crumbling the temple on him and then realized he was still alive, shouldn't he try to finish the job while Luke was incapacitated? And if Kylo killed all the other students in self-defense because they attacked him, that wouldn't make sense either. Surely at least one of them would have sensed Luke was still alive and would have saved him from under the rubble. As Rey has shown us, it is very easy to lift heavy objects. The debris could have been cleared.

245. Did Luke flat out lie to Rey about what happened with Kylo the night where he thought about killing him in his sleep? I haven't gone back to watch the movie to verify, but it seems like he did. If so, that is completely out of character. Luke Skywalker is not a liar. What purpose would it serve to lie to Rey about that? He is on that island to die supposedly. So what does it matter if Rey knows the truth or not? TLJ makes Luke a liar, a coward, a quitter, a grump, a hermit, and a family deserter.

246. No Mon Mothma. It's not a necessity that she be in the movie. But some form of acknowledgement of such a famous, heroic leader would have been cool.

247. Luke is human and I am ok with him making mistakes. But it is unfathomable that he would make such a massive mistake from which he already learned in the OT. He learned that family was important above everything else (which allowed him to want to redeem Vader instead of killing him). He learned not to give into his negative emotions when he chose not to finish off Vader in the Death Star. TLJ throws that whole arc out the window as Luke thinks about killing a family member and gives into negative emotions.

248. TLJ basically throws out the whole plot/point of TFA. In TFA, the plot revolves around finding Luke Skywalker. Finding Luke is IMPORTANT. But then TLJ says "no it's not." Luke is not important. Finding Luke had no bearing on anything that happened in TLJ.

249. What are Kylo Ren's motives? In TFA, we wondered what turned Ben to the dark side. In TLJ, we are not given any real reason. His uncle thought about killing him? That was it? Why (presumably) murder all the remaining Jedi in Luke's school and become full-on evil? Where did Snoke come into this? Was he considering the dark side prior to Luke's "bad thoughts?" This is not explained and leaves too many open-ended questions.

250. We are led to believe that none of the other Jedi students can stand up to Kylo Ren. He is able to hunt them down and murder them all single-handedly all while Luke was unconscious and all because one guy thought about murdering him. Talk about going off the deep end.

251. Luke's final heroic act: a minor, temporary distraction that left the biggest threat to the galaxy still at large.

252. Poe introduces himself to Rey like they've never met before. Check the Force Awakens. They literally stand two feet away from each other (with only Leia in between). The best pilot in the galaxy never spoke a word to Rey and were never introduced prior to her being chosen to head off to find Luke? So in his final shot in The Force Awakens, when everyone is waving to the Rey and Chewie, you mean to tell me Poe has no clue who they are waving to?

253. If we are supposed to believe that Holdo is such an important, high-ranking military leader, then where exactly was she in the planning of the assault on Starkiller Base? If the resistance is made up of only a few hundred people, she should have been there. Or are we supposed to infer that she colored her hair purple in the short amount of time between movies so she did not stand out in The Force Awakens? This is a clear indication that a character was created that should not have been created.

254. During the scene in which Leia is blown out into space, watch the number of helmeted soldiers with weapons running around the background. What is their purpose in a space battle? Rian Johnson clearly didn't know how to direct extras.

255. Rose teaches Finn all about child slaves...when he was one.

256. How did Rose and Finn know they had to go to Crait, exactly how to get there, and at the precise coordinates of the base? At the time (when they left the Resistance ship) they had no knowledge of that plan.

257. Kylo is shown without his shirt on yet there is absolutely no evidence that he was shot and bleeding from his side from when Chewie shot him 24 hours earlier.

258. "Rey's" lightsaber is inaccurate. The button that activates it is in a different location than the original trilogy. I think this was also the case in The Force Awakens. *This was sent to me by a fellow TLJ hater.

259. Why doesn't Kylo and to a lesser extent Rey ever use Force Powers against the non-Force-user Praetorian guards? Kylo can stop a laser blast in mid-air and freeze people, keeping them from moving, but doesn't feel the need to use it in a battle in which they are outnumbered 8 to 1 (or whatever it was). It was supposed to be this epic duel...yet this (along with other issues mentioned above) contributed to its failure. Even Obi-Wan and Anakin used Force powers against each other in their duel in ROTS. Dooku uses Force Lightning, Yoda repels it. Vader used the Force to hurl objects at Luke in ESB. But Kylo Ren who is shown to have more abilities than those characters simply relies on his lightsaber because that what was needed to have a duel. Not even a lightsaber on lightsaber duel. These guards even had inferior weapons.

260. Yoda once taught Luke: "always in motion the future is." Meaning things can change. The future is not always what you expect or foresee. Luke ignores/forgets this and wants to murder his nephew just because he senses darkness in him.

261. How could Kylo have escaped the resistance cruiser after destroying it with torpedoes? *This was pointed out to me by a fellow TLJ hater.

262. The First Order successfully destroys the main bridge of a huge Resistance ship. Then they stop. Or at least hold back. Why didn't they continue their onslaught and inflict further damage?

263. The First Order only a sent a skeleton crew to the salt planet. I know that a lot of their ships were wiped out in the "awesome" Holdo Maneuver, but apparently they still had enough to send down massive walkers. But only a handful of TIE fighters? They had the chance to completely wipe out the Resistance for good, yet the "reigning" First Order only deploys a few vessels.

264: The troopers used on the salt planet were basically snow troopers. Rian Johnson thought it was worthwhile to come up with an executioner trooper but not worthwhile to come up with a different trooper for an environment like the salt planet. And if it was only salt and dirt, why not use the regular troopers? Regular troopers were used on Tatooine, Jakku, Endor, Cloud City, etc. but for a salt planet, they have to change into snow gear? *this was sent to me from a fellow TLJ hater

265. Poe needed to dock with the Raddus before they escaped rather than hyperspace himself. This is not a conservation of fuel issue as proven by Finn and Rose's side mission. He could have easily hyperspaced to their destination and docked there.

266. If Yoda was only able to control the weather on Ach-to (as some have proposed as a counter argument for Force Ghosts having this ability), why not let the First Order find the planet. When the First Order arrives, Yoda (and perhaps other Force ghosts) could then destroy them.

267. Luke suddenly wears his lightsaber on his right side. Very little attention to detail shown.

268. Maz Kanata DESCRIBES the code breaker instead of giving a name. Even a code name. If she really wanted to give the Resistance their best chance to locate this person, she would have provided more than just vague characteristics.

269. An explosion weakens the deck enough to send Phasma to her death. But the deck is still strong enough to support a massive walker to carry Rose, Finn, and BB-8 to their escape vessel. *provided by a fellow TLJ hater.

270. Sprinkler systems don't seem to exist in this era of superior technology. Everything is just left to burn on the First Order ship. *provided by a fellow TLJ hater.

271. The Holdo Maneuver causes a huge amount of damage. There are presumably gaps in the hull of the First Order ship. Yet nothing is sucked out into space. Just fire everywhere. If there were shields preventing the loss of air, it would have been cool to see them activate. Phasma, Finn, etc. are beginning to be sucked out into space. Then the shields are activated. Then they can have their duel.

272. Finn suffered a horrible, life-threatening injury at the end of the TFA. His recovery is shown to be minimal and comical. Think about Luke's recovery from the Wampa attack / Hoth's unforgiving environment. It was never downplayed or comical. We are shown him waking in the bacta tank and his friends surrounding him later, overjoyed that he is ok.

273. No one seems particularly sad that Luke is dead. Leia does not seem all that sad. We are never shown Chewbacca's reaction. In TFA, we FELT Han Solo's death. Chewbacca roars, hurt. You can see the pain in Rey's reactions. The facial expressions of Han and Kylo make the scene very emotional. But in TLJ, Luke just disappears. Gone. Leia says that they have everything they need and the movie ends with a jovial conversation aboard the Millenium Falcon.

274. Maz Kanata makes a sexual reference. This is out of place in a Star Wars movie. There are no sexual references in any of the other 7 previous movies.

275. In TFA, it was strongly hinted that Finn was Force-sensitive. TLJ completely ignored this.

276. Chewbacca is treated as nothing more than a glorified chauffeur. He is not part of any of the battles, space or ground. He flies with Rey and even when that happens, Rey is shown doing all the fancy gun work.

277. There is absolutely no payoff for Kylo's line in TFA: "what girl?" Kylo seemed to know SOMETHING. Nope, not according to Rian Johnson.

278. The voice used for the alien at the casino was a horrible choice. Reminded me of Cletus from the Simpsons.

279. So the Resistance has secret rings? How do the children slaves know about this symbol and what it represents? We are lead to believe that these kids are slaves who are treated harshly and have very limited contact with the outside world, if any. Yet the kids somehow all know what Rose's ring symbol means.

280. It makes no sense that the First Order did not destroy ALL the slow, rusty, non-weaponized, un-shielded vehicles in a matter of seconds. In a screenshot, I counted at least 10 walkers. Plus TIE fighter support. Because I have not gone back and watched, I can't know for sure but I bet there were about the same number of slow, rusty Resistance vehicles. They were completely over-matched and outnumbered. These were not small, swift, shielded, maneuverable snow-speeders taking on AT-AT's. These were crappy vehicles that any competent military force would have taken out very easily and very quickly.

281. This is the first Star Wars film to take place almost immediately after the last one. In my opinion, this created pacing issues. It would have been far better if it took place at least a month or so later. Rey would have received training in that time, the capability of the First Order to regroup after losing Starkiller Base would make more sense, C-3PO's red arm replacement would be more believable, etc.

282. The new major characters are not likable or marketable. When TFA came out (heck, even before TFA came out) people were buying merchandise for Kylo Ren, BB-8, etc. I am one of those people. I have a huge Kylo Ren figure, a Kylo Ren Force FX lightsaber, a BB-8 cookie jar, several TFA mugs with the characters, and many other items including t-shirts. My daughter was Rey for Halloween. My son was Kylo Ren in October of 2015...before he even saw the movie. What new major characters did we get in this movie? DJ, Rose, and Haldo. These characters are not fun, cool, marketable characters for which I want to buy merchandise. I am not saying that I have to buy merchandise as proof that a character was likable. But in this case I think it proves a point.

283. No new lightsaber stuff. Every single Star Wars movie since ANH features "something new" with lightsabers.

-ESB: Luke duels with a saber for the first time. A non-Jedi handles a saber (Han).

-ROTJ: Green lightsaber introduced

-TPM: Double bladed lightsaber introduced. Multiple Jedi sabers in a duel at the same time. Green and blue sabers ignited onscreen at the same time for the first time.

-AOTC: Curved lightsaber hilt introduced. Purple lightsaber introduced. Yoda's lightsaber introduced. Anakin uses two sabers at once.

-ROTS: Blue on blue duel. Palpatine uses a saber for first time. A character uses 4 sabers at once (Grievous). A character uses a red and blue saber at once Anakin).

-TFA: Lightsaber with cross guards introduced. The lightsaber has a unique "burning" blade.

-TLJ: NOTHING NEW

284. I was under the impression that hyperspace was not just going really fast. It involved another dimension and/or wormholes. But in TLJ, it is clear that hyperspace just means going really fast. *Submitted by a fellow TLJ hater.

285. Let's assume that Holdo is smart. Let's assume that there are other smart people like her. Let's also assume that there are smart people like her who are part of the Empire. So if the Holdo Maneuver can cause so much destruction and is SO powerful, why didn't the Empire use it? Same for the First Order. Why did they invest all that time, resources, money, and manpower into constructing Death Stars and the Starkiller base when all they really had to do was fly some star destroyers at Hyperspace speed into planets? The Holdo Maneuver retroactively makes the Death Star and Starkiller Base not only less significant, but also less threatening and less plausible.

286. In TFA Maz literally says that they all have to fight the First Order together. But then she is too busy the next day to do so. Instead involved in some kind of trade dispute or something.

287. We have a character known as DJ based on the words "Don't Join." Good thing this galaxy has the exact same alphabet as ours. Oh wait. It doesn't. Stupid name for a stupid character.

288. Finn should have been a Jedi. It is hinted that he would be as he wielded a lightsaber. He was also featured in many promotional posters and images holding the lightsaber, not Rey. He held is own against Kylo Ren but was ultimately defeated due to lack of experience. But I assumed we would see him begin training in TLJ. Nope.

289. Speaking of Finn, this was pointed out to me in a recent YouTube video: Finn became a supporting character in TLJ. He was the first person we saw in the very first trailer. He was shown holding a lightsaber in promo posters. He played a central role in TFA. But in TLJ, he became a secondary character who is not treated with respect. In this particular video, I was surprised to see how many times Finn was knocked on his butt (literally). He falls off the medical table, he is knocked back by the casino planet horse creatures, he is shocked by Rose, he is put on the ground to be executed by the First Order, zapped by the casino police, etc. It is truly a shame what Rian Johnson did to this once strong, promising character.

290. We get the message that sacrifice is heroic and awesome when Holdo performs her amazing maneuver. But then when Finn is about to sacrifice himself, Rose stops him...because now the message is that sacrifice is not necessary. But then Luke sacrifices himself...so it is necessary.

291. Why would a human (DJ) need to be found to hack a computer system? The Star Wars universe has droids for everything. Just think about everything R2 and BB-8 can do. But hack a computer system? Oh no, a droid can't do that. Only a select few humans can pull that off.

292. Yoda says that "the greatest teacher, failure is." Luke already learned that in the original trilogy. He failed to save Han. Was badly beaten by Vader. Lost an appendage. His trip to Cloud City was certainly not a success. It was a FAILURE. But he learned from this and grew. He became more powerful. He was victorious not only over the Emperor, but over himself (falling to the Dark Side). Now, supposedly, he has to learn this again? It invalidates what was accomplished in the original trilogy.

293. Luke has "cut himself off from the Force." This goes against the fundamental "laws" of the Force established in the other trilogies. In the original trilogy, we are told that the Force is all around us, surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds us all together. But in TLJ, Luke can just shut it off like flipping a switch. He can't prevent himself from dying from Force projecting but he can easily just turn off the mystical Force that we are told holds everything together.

294. Snoke can bounce lightning bolts off the floor and hit a target. So Force Lightning bounces and has a predictable trajectory? Or is Snoke just controlling where it goes? And if so, why wouldn't he just shoot it right at his target (in this case Kylo Ren) instead? Nope, this was done simply as a "cool effect" but, like many other things done for cool effect, ignores laws of physics/previously established lore.

295. Kylo Ren's recovery from a severe injury (from the previous movie) is treated with sincerity while Finn's is made into a slapstick comedy (falling off a table, walking around in a ridiculous suit that is leaking).

296. Finn wonders how Rey is going to find them since they've traveled through hyperspace. He is shown a tracking beacon. Shortly after, he says that it is impossible that the First Order tracked them through hyperspace. Shortly after, he says that he knows all about the First Order's hyperspace tracking technology because he served as a custodian on the ship.

297. How did Kylo escape from inside the Resistance cruiser after shooting torpedoes into it and destroying it?

298. If it was time for the Jedi to end, why didn't Luke burn his robes too? Seemed like he didn't intend to since he wore them to the tree burning party.

299. Why did Rose feel the need to stop people like Finn from leaving? The Resistance is not a paid occupation or military for a particular government. More of a volunteer thing. I would assume that under normal circumstances, anyone who wishes to leave would be allowed to leave.

300. Kylo Ren picks up the gold dice. How is this possible? It's a Force projection. His lightsaber went through Force Projection Luke. Force Projection Luke didn't make foot prints. Force Projection Luke has no mass/weight. So how could the dice?

301. TLJ tries to cram too much anti-stuff into one movie. It is anti-war, anti-greed, anti-Jedi, anti-men, anti-Force Awakens, anti-OT, anti-expectations.

302. Why would Snoke need guards with fancy melee weapons? The emperor had royal guards with staffs. This was obviously for show. But these guards have these elaborate weapons for some reason...I know...plot convenience to have a (terribly choreographed) duel with lightsabers.

303. In TPM, it was established that ships couldn't enter lightspeed within a planet's gravity field. Suddenly in TLJ, that doesn't matter.

304. In Return of the Jedi, Luke gave Jabba a chance to free him and his friends before he resorted to violence. Yes Jabba: the crime lord. The one who kept his best friend frozen on a wall. The one that kept his sister as a slave. The one that imprisoned his friend Chewy. Yes, Luke gave him an out. He didn't immediately resort to killing. But his nephew? He had dark thoughts so I better murder him in his sleep.

305. How does a weapon wrap around literal energy? One of Snoke's guard's weapons does just that. That is impossible, even for a fantasy universe.

306. In addition to the above, why couldn't Rey simply turn off her lightsaber for a moment? That would release the weapon's hold and allow her to regain an attack advantage. Or point her lightsaber forward. Instant death for the guard.

307. Why don't Snoke's guards have weapons that fire (blasters)? Snoke is supposedly super powerful so why does he even need guards? Are they purely ceremonial like Emperor Palpatine's in ROTJ? That would be fine, but then why arm them with such weapons? And they are obviously well trained/athletic/acrobatic. Wouldn't it make more sense for ONE of the guards to carry a blaster-type weapon? If they truly are guards, not having some sort of blaster does not allow them to be effective against someone, say, entering from across the room carrying a rifle.

308. Leia decides to abandon the larger ships because the First Order only tracks the larger ships. How would she know this? She wasn't even aware of hyperspace tracking. So how does she know this detail about tracking?

309. Why does no one show up for the Resistance's last stand? If it was sent out using Leia's personal code and it truly was the last stand, it seems highly implausible that NO ONE would come to help. They made it pretty clear how desperate they were. *Note: but they do show up in TROS for some reason.

310. Laser blasts don't drop like bullets do due to gravity. So how do the soldiers firing the lasers against the AT-AT ripoffs on the salt planet manage to hit the ground so often? Yeah, I know...to make it look cool.

311. Issues with what Luke did in Kylo's hut are explained in detail above. But here's another thing...if he ignited his lightsaber in a "moment of weakness," was it really just a moment? He had to physically walk from his home/sleeping chamber all the way to Kylo's room and sneak inside. Are we really supposed to think that was just a moment of weakness? Or are we supposed to believe that Luke routinely sneaks into his students' dorm rooms to watch them sleep like some kind of creeper?

312. Darth Vader can force choke someone from across the galaxy. His choking power does not diminish with distance. Yet we are supposed to assume that Force projection is so much different and so more exhausting that Luke, arguably the most powerful Jedi ever, dies from it.

Ways to Bring Luke Skywalker Back (ALIVE!)

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Wed, 13 Jun 2018 18:37:00 +0000

Here are some ways that J.J. Abrams can bring Luke Skywalker back as a living, breathing person in Star Wars Episode IX.

I will admit that most of these are stupid. But so was The Last Jedi. And if it takes doing something stupid to get Luke back, so be it.

Listed in no particular order.

1. Rey returns to Ach-to to retrieve Luke's green saber. She arrives to find him alive and waiting for her. He has returned via the Gandalf route. The Force simply sent him back to the living world because his true purpose had yet to be fulfilled.

2. Rey reads the Jedi texts and discovers a Force secret that allows her to bring him back to life. Since his body was made of matter and that matter disappeared, it just needs to reappear now. Some weird Jedi ritual can accomplish this.

3. The Luke that "died" in The Last Jedi was actually a clone of the real Luke. Rey can discover this shocking surprise when she returns to Ach-to to retrieve Luke's other lightsaber.

4. Since Rey is apparently now the most powerful Jedi to ever live, she just suddenly realizes she can summon him back to the living world. Because.

5. Time travel...as presented in Star Wars Rebels. Heck, a lot of The Last Jedi's nonsense can be un-done with this nonsense.

6. Other Force ghosts decide to channel some weird power to bring him back to life. Obi-wan, Qui-gon, Yoda, etc. join hands, close their eyes, and he is magically sent back.

7. Leia and Rey said he was "gone." Gone does not necessarily have to mean dead. He was simply sent to another dimension or "Force realm." Then he returns in the rebellion's most desperate hour to save the day.

8. Leia switches places with Luke. Some dumb, nonsensical ritual is performed and Leia (since Carrie Fisher has passed away) sacrifices herself to bring back her brother. It can be played off as a really noble event where Leia realizes that her Mary Poppins powers are no match for the First Order. They need Luke. So she makes the ultimate sacrifice. Plus, this is a way around the fact that Leia apparently can't die (outer space = no air, negative 300 degree temperatures).

9. Episode VIII was all a dream! Finn wakes up from the bacta tank (or whatever that tube thing is) and we discover it was just a horrible nightmare.

10. Episode VIII was all a Force vision that Luke was having! We pick up right where Rey is handing Luke his saber. The Last Jedi was what WOULD happen if Luke chose to follow the same path. So now he accepts the saber, mourns Han, trains Rey, and then they both go battle Kylo and Snoke.

11. Remake episode VIII and this time don't poop all over Luke's character. He survives and therefore is alive in episode IX.

12. We discover that Ach-to has mysterious powers. When Luke disappeared he became "one with the island" or some garbage like that. Then, he is reborn from the remains of the tree that Yoda destroyed...and his hand is back.

13. We find out that when Jedi pass on, they actually go to some weird realm like Davey Jones' Locker. Rey has to travel to this realm and bring Luke back.

14. Rey and Leia were wrong. He was never really gone or dead. He simply transported himself somewhere else (perhaps on the island). Rey arrives and he's there fishing or milking an alien sea cow or something.

15. Using DNA found on Ach-to, a clone of Luke is made. In order for this to work there would have to be some kind of growth acceleration so that Mark Hamill could play the role.

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Wed, 04 Jan 2017 03:45:00 +0000

I was sent the following email from a friend. He knows I am a Blue Jackets fan. And he knows how superstitious I am. Enjoy...

This email is not about hockey.

However, it is conceivable that I could have a friend who enjoys the game of hockey, or some other professional sport. It is further conceivable that said friend might, possibly, cheer for a team -- hockey or otherwise -- that has not, in recent memory, enjoyed successful, winning seasons. If such an alleged team were to go on a hypothetical winning streak of historical proportions, it could be incumbent upon me to voice my congratulations, support, and overall well-wishes to said friend and the alleged team supposedly cheered for by him (or her). Of course, I would resist the temptation to voice such enthusiastic support for fear that my vocalization of the matter might jinx the supposed hypothetical "team" in question, thus inadvertently bringing to a premature end the aforementioned, albeit purely speculative, winning streak. So I therefore offer to you no comment whatsoever, regarding any subject related to or not related to professional sports of any nature, and above all certainly not hockey.

Blue Jackets: Choose Your Own Adventure

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Sun, 18 Oct 2015 03:21:00 +0000

The fact that I am sitting here writing a blog entry speak volumes. I hardly ever do this.

The fact that I am starting it during the third period of a Blue Jackets game, instead of actually watching the Jackets game, speaks even higher volumes.

The fact that the Jackets have started the season 0-6 is unfathomable. But then again, it's the Jackets. They have proven they can disappoint you in a wide variety of ways.

When I was a kid, I used to read a lot of those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. If you are not familiar with the series, each book presented the reader with choices throughout the story. For example if you wanted the character to turn left down a dark hallway, you were told to turn to a certain page. If you wanted the character to turn right into a bright room, you were told to turn to a different page.

I have to admit, I don't remember a whole lot about the stories, but one in particular stands out. I remember it because no matter what choices I made, my character seemed to die every time. No matter what I did, something prevented me from surviving. Occasionally, I think I would survive...but it would not be the outcome for which I hoped. I was imprisoned, lost, etc. I never was able to finish the book with the ultimate happy ending.

This is what it's like to be a Jackets fan. Every season seems to bring a new adventure that leads to an unhappy ending. There are always new excuses and new story lines that are the reasons for the team's lack of success. Occasionally you get a playoff appearance to make you think you are getting closer to the ultimate happy ending, only to start the story again and become enslaved by the Ant People (or whatever the heck they were in that story I am thinking of).

Last year the excuse was injuries but the Jackets finished the season on a positive note. Fans, media, players, coaches...everybody had high expectations for the start of this season. The Jackets were healthy. They acquired Saad. They dominated in the preseason. They had the most depth ever at the forward position. To come out 0-6, to the worst start in franchise history, is mind boggling. To not even get one single win in the first six games is just beyond belief. To think back to two weeks ago, to all the positive energy, high hopes, and excitement I had about the season is frustrating to a point of numbness.

So now what? Does the team get rebuilt again? At some point this madness has to stop, right? At some point, we have to find the ultimate happy ending of the story right? I'm sure it's hidden somewhere in the Blue Jackets' Choose Your Own Adventure book. I'm just so tired of starting over to try and find it.

The Jackets' Offense of the Future

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Tue, 17 Mar 2015 18:16:00 +0000

When Rick Nash left the Blue Jackets several years ago, fans like myself wondered where they would get their goals from. The overwhelming response to such questions was "offense by committee." We were getting Dubinsky and Anisimov who had the potential to be 20-goal scorers. Anisimov accomplished that and Dubinsky was close.

Now with Ryan Johansen, Nick Foligno, and Scott Hartnell reaching the 20-goal plateau this season, it got me thinking. The Jackets really have some potent offensive weapons. They seem to have an abundance of players who have scored or have the potential to score 20 goals in a season.

Johansen, Foligno, Hartnell, and Anisimov have already done it. I would think logic suggests they can do it again.

Others, in my opinion, who have the potential to score 20 goals: Atkinson, Dubinsky, Jenner. Clarkson has done it in the past and Jackets fans like myself are hoping he can find some semblance of his former 20-goal scoring self next season.

Plus you have Wennberg and Dano who arguably could be 20-goal scorers in the near future. Throw Borkstrand into that mix and that gives the Jackets a whopping 11 players capable. Obviously having 11 20-goal scorers on a team is a bit far-fetched, but it makes me smile to think about the future of the Blue Jackets. I only hope our coaching staff can install the right system to bring the most offense out of these players.

I just want to watch Jackets playoff hockey!

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Wed, 23 Apr 2014 05:05:00 +0000

Please help.

I was unable to get a straight answer from Dish Network.
I was unable to get a straight answer from Fox Sports Ohio.

It is 12:39 am. I'm supposed to be sleeping. Big day at work tomorrow. But instead I am sitting at my computer, stewing. I was unable to watch the Blue Jackets Game 3 playoff game on TV on Monday. Now it seems I may be unable to watch tonight's as well.

I live in Troy, Ohio. Just north of Dayton. I am not a wealthy man by any means. I cannot afford to attend NHL games very often but I do drive the 90 minutes to Columbus a few times a year to enjoy a Blue Jackets game at Nationwide Arena. When I can't see them in person, one of my favorite things to do is to relax in front of the TV with my two boys and watch the Jackets on our regional Fox Sports station. We watch so much, that they have memorized the commercials! Proven here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vipvWVQ3-t0

I am a Dish Network subscriber and pay an additional $5 per month for the Fox Sports regional sports package. I do this for one reason and one reason only: to watch my beloved Blue Jackets. I do not watch the Reds or Xavier or any other sports team. I pay those few dollars extra every month for the CBJ.

I am ecstatic that my team is finally back in the playoffs. Unable to watch Game 2 on Saturday night due to work, I was looking forward to watching Game 3 on Monday. Fox Sports televised the game in my area (DirecTv customers were able to watch)...yet I was unable to watch.

You see, I actually have Fox Sports Cincinnati (a division of Fox Sports Ohio, I think). Throughout the season I was able to watch every game on this station. When there was a conflict with another team, I would always be able to find the game on an alternate channel. But not Monday. With the Reds playing that evening, I found myself searching for the alternate channel. To my complete and utter frustration, the Reds game was also on the alternate channel. That made no sense to me.

Was this a mistake? I'm not so sure. I contacted Dish Network and was told it was a programming decision by Fox Sports Ohio. But the Fox Sports Ohio web site indicated that I still should be able to watch the game in my area as proven here: http://msn.foxsports.com/ohio/story/channel-information-for-monday-april-21-blue-jackets-and-reds-041714

So right before bed tonight I checked my Dish Network guide. The Reds game for tonight starts at 7pm and is televised on Fox Sports Cincinnati. So I searched the alternate channels. NO BLUE JACKETS GAME.
I find this very disturbing. I have been able to watch every Blue Jackets game on Fox Sports this season. Now they are in the playoffs and suddenly I cannot watch??? Sure it's on the NBC Sports network but I don't get that channel. That package would cost me an additional $10 per month. I'm already spending $5 for Fox Sports...a channel on which I SHOULD be able to watch the Jackets.

But the bigger issue is this: EVERYONE in this part of Ohio and Cincinnati should be able to watch the Jackets game. And EVERYONE who has Dish Network and the same package as me CANNOT. From a marketing perspective, this is horrible. The Blue Jackets organization should want everyone in the state with access to FSOhio to be able to see the Blue Jackets in the playoffs. This is the perfect way to promote the game and hook new fans.

In comparison, DirecTv (from which I recently switched) offers both FSOhio AND FSCincinnati as part of its regional sports package. Dish Network should follow suit. Or whoever is in charge. Dish Network? Fox Sports? Blue Jackets?

I don't want to watch a choppy, illegal Internet feed. I don't want to go to a bar. I just want to sit on the couch with my two boys and watch the Jackets. Is that too much to ask? I should be able to do it. I've been able to do it all year. Why has it changed now when it matters most?

Please help! Someone must know something!

Signed,
whalerjacket

I Can't Watch the Jackets Playoff Game

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 01:18:00 +0000

Tonight I cannot watch my beloved Blue Jackets play in their Game 3 matchup against Pittsburgh. I emailed Dish Network to complain. Here is what I wrote. Bet I get some kind of generic response with no resolution.

Hello. I pay $5 extra per month so that I can have the regional sports network package with Dish Network. I do that for one reason only: so I can watch the Columbus Blue Jackets hockey games. That's it. I do not watch the Cincinnati Reds or any other Ohio sports on that channel.

So I was quite angry when I was unable to watch the Blue Jackets PLAYOFF hockey game tonight (Monday, April 21). The Cincinnati Reds game was on Fox Sports Cincinnati. Usually when such a programming conflict occurs, I can switch to an alternate regional programming channel for the hockey game. Instead, the Reds were on that channel too. When I contacted Dish Network to inquire about this, I was told this was a Fox Sports issue. The Fox Sports web site seems to indicate otherwise.

I live in the Dayton, Ohio area. When I visited the Fox Sports Ohio web site, it says that tonight's Blue Jackets game is in fact televised on Dish Network IN THE DAYTON AREA. The following link clearly shows that as a Dish Network customer, I should be able to watch the game on FSOhio.

http://msn.foxsports.com/ohio/story/channel-information-for-monday-april-21-blue-jackets-and-reds-041714

The problem is that I do not have FSOhio. I only have FSCincinnati.

I would like to voice my displeasure with this. I recently switched to Dish Network from DirecTV. When I was with DirecTV I had BOTH FSCincinnati AND FSOhio. Clearly the Fox Sports Ohio web site operates under the assumption that Dish Network offers both channels to their subscribers.

I would appreciate a response as I am currently second-guessing my decision to switch from DirecTV. I would like to know how I can help initiate a change so that Dish Network carries both Fox Sports Ohio and Fox Sports Cincinnati just like DirecTV.

For the record, the game is also televised on NBCSports Network. However I do not wish to pay an additional $10 a month to upgrade my package to include that channel when I already pay the $5 per month to receive the regional sports network package.

Trading Gaborik: Mistake

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 22:39:00 +0000

I am writing this entry with the understanding that perceptions can change. I may very well look back on this entry in a year or two (or even at the end of this season) and say "what was I thinking?" With that in mind, let me flat out say: trading Marian Gaborik for Matt Frattin was a poor decision.

As I write this, the Blue Jackets' offense is practically non-existent and the power play is in an 0-for-30-something slump. You know what would help with that? A proven NHL goal scorer.

It comes down to this question really, Blue Jackets fans: would your rather have, right now at this moment, Marian Gaborik on the ice or Matt Frattin in the press box? At this juncture I think the answer is obvious. Many will argue that Gaborik would have been lost at the end of the season so the Jackets did the right thing to get something for him.

But is having Matt Frattin on the roster in the summer better than having a playoff berth in the spring? If I were Jarmo, I would have kept Gaborik on the team as a potent roster option. Instead, we traded him for a guy who sits in the press box every night. Gaborik would have helped this team, simply put. I don't think keeping him on the team would have hurt. If the Jackets can't find some offense soon they'll be finding themselves on the golf course in mid-April again.

Let's pretend we kept Gaborik and made the playoffs. Then Gaborik walked. The positives of making the playoffs would outweigh the negatives of losing him for nothing. Seriously, would any of you Jackets fans be THAT upset if the Jackets chose not to re-sign him this summer? I would have given it a big fat "oh well" and moved on. Because you know what? We traded him for practically nothing anyway.

This was not addition by subtraction. We lost a goal scorer and right now we need goals. I was skeptical when the trade was made. Now my worst fears are being realized. Maybe I'm jumping the gun and things will turn around. But things don't look so hot right now.

I am not saying that Gaborik would have solved all our problems with the offense, but he could not have made it worse than what we've recently seen on the ice. I've heard fans say he didn't fit into the gritty style the Jackets play. Well, I hate to say it, but that gritty style is not putting pucks in the net right now. We need all the help we can get.

So I hope I am wrong and the Jackets get hot and make the playoffs for only the second time in their history. But if they don't, and we fans start talking about where things went wrong, the conversation should start with the Gaborik trade.

I Love Summer

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Sun, 21 Jul 2013 18:01:00 +0000

For the longest time I was kidding myself when I said my favorite season was Autumn. I love the fall. Cool weather, hockey season begins, beautiful scenery, hockey season begins, my birthday, football season begins, and hockey season begins.

But I've decided that, as a teacher, summer trumps all that. Here's why. My top 12 reasons, in no particular order.

12. No school. Duh. That means no lesson plan writing, no papers to grade, and no stress about new, stupid evaluation practices.

11. Shave today? Nah. Shave this week? Maybe.

10. I don't have to worry about packing a lunch or eating those crappy frozen meals.

9. I get to spend much more time with my kids. Granted, sometimes I want to wring their little necks, but in general I love the time I get to spend with them. Most non-teachers don't get to spend as many waking hours with their children. I am very thankful for that.

8. I spend a lot less money on gas. A LOT less. Since I don't have to commute each day, it is amazing to me how much less I need to fill up my tank. I am a glorified chauffeur during the summer, carting my kids to and from camps and activities, but those are mostly in town so my tanks last much longer.

7. Those warm summer nights. I love walking outside in the summer. It is so peaceful. I also enjoy the community atmosphere. There's people sitting outside on restaurant patios, fountains spouting water, and parks busy with people.

6. Staying up late. I enjoy the time with I have with my family, but I also enjoy "me time." The only time I really get that is once everyone has gone to bed. I use that time to surf the Internet or watch movies. I'm usually up to about 1:30am every night.

5. Sleeping in. Most summer days, there's no alarm to wake me up. My kids get up before me and get right to playing. So they don't even wake me up. They are pretty self-sufficient when it comes to breakfast too. So I just stay in bed and rest, even if I'm not actually sleeping.

4. More tennis! Hockey is my favorite sport, but I love tennis. Unfortunately, this summer I have not been able to play much because of my elbow injury but I'm hoping to be back in the saddle next summer.

3. I feel more useful. During the school year, I am either too busy or too tired for home projects. During the summer, I have time to accomplish things. That sure keeps my wife happier. I'm also able to take the kids to appointments that my wife would usually have to take care of during school months.

2. I can cook! I have trouble finding the motivation to prepare meals during school months. But during the summer, I have time and energy to do it. I love to cook! I even find recipes on the Internet to try. My favorite way to cook is to grill. Unlike others in my family (Dad!), I don't enjoy cooking in cold weather. So summer is my time to cook the way I like best!

1. My house is clean. I live with a bunch of slobs. Of our family of five, I am the one most concerned with a clean house. During the school year, I don't have the time or motivation to keep things as clean as I would like them to be. But during the summer, I can stay on top of things. So far this summer I think I have vacuumed more than ever and have even machine-cleaned our carpets. You probably shouldn't visit us in the winter!

Baldness May Have Saved My Life

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Sat, 06 Jul 2013 04:39:00 +0000

Around 2003, I decided to end my battle with a receding hairline and accompanying bald spot and shave my head. Hence began the last hairstyle I would ever have. I was going bald. It was a fact. And I didn't want to be the type of guy who tried to hide it with tricks like comb-overs and toupees. I just accepted it and dealt with it by taking it off completely.

Going bald sucks. It means I'm getting old. It also means I'm losing my sex appeal (not that I had much to begin with). Think about it...when you picture a handsome guy, does some bald guy immediately come to mind? Probably not. And the ones that shave their heads by choice have huge muscles (I'm talking about you Vin Diesel). I don't. However, going bald also means I don't have to spend money on haircuts, shampoo, or hair gel. Less time is required to shower too. So there ARE some good things that go along with it. Little did I know that about 10 years later, I would discover that going bald may have saved my life. That's a REALLY good thing.

When I first started shaving my head, I noticed a red splotch right in the back. Supposedly a birth mark. But right in the middle of the splotch was a soft, circular bump. I just assumed it was a normal part of my weird shaped, bumpy, splotchy head.

As the years went on, I kind of thought the bump was getting larger but the only time I ever saw the very back of my head was when I shaved it (and used a hand mirror to see what I was doing back there). My wife thought so too. Over several years, I had a total of two physicians and one dermatologist examine the bump. All three said it was just a benign fatty growth called a lipoma (I'm probably spelling that wrong). All of them said it was nothing to worry about and I should leave it alone.

But as time went on, the bump got more annoying. It never hurt, but was uncomfortable when I would lay my head back against my bed's headboard to read or play on my iPod (which I pretty much do every single night). Plus I admittedly got more and more self-conscious about it. I love wearing baseball caps, but I would wear them ALL the time because I didn't want people to see the bump. Keep in mind that this bump was inside a large red splotch. It stood out. I'm a teacher and every year at school, where I cannot wear a hat, I would always get asked by students (and sometimes even their parents) about what happened to my head. Questions ranged from "did someone hit you in the back of the head with a bat?" to simply "what happened to your head? It looks nasty." Stuff like this made me think about it all the time. I even wondered what the people who sat behind me at church thought when they saw it.

So after years of dealing with the self-consciousness, embarrassment, and discomfort, I decided to seek a plastic surgeon to remove the growth. His diagnosis was the same as the two previous physicians and dermatologist: a lipoma. He said it would be a simple surgery to remove so we scheduled it.

I had the surgery on May 15th and things did not go exactly as planned. During the surgery, the doctor discovered that the growth was more fibrous than anticipated. This meant two things:

1. I bled a lot more than expected, making both the surgery and recovery longer and more difficult than anticipated. Not a huge deal. But here's the biggie...

2. What was thought to be a harmless growth could have developed into something much, much worse in time. To paraphrase the doctor, it was good that I chose to get it removed now before it potentially turned into something bad later on.

The doctor sent a sample of what was removed off to be tested (just to be safe) and sure enough it was benign. But I can't help but think about what could have happened if I had just left it alone and not opted for the surgery. I also think about how I probably would never have even noticed the bump had I had a thick, luxurious, covering of hair. Perhaps I would have noticed it eventually, once it had gotten much, much larger. And by that time, it could have developed into something very bad.

So if I wasn't balding, I wouldn't be shaving my head. And if I wasn't shaving my head, I may never have noticed the potentially dangerous growth on my head. It is July now and my scar is still healing. Still pain and discomfort. Because of all the unexpected bleeding, I have had to return to the surgeon three times to have my head drained of fluid. Obviously things did not go as expected. But even with the continued discomfort (which I was told will go away within a few months time), I am thankful I had it removed instead of waiting. And I'm thankful for going bald.

My NHL Logo Rankings

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 17:20:00 +0000

Sportsnet recently published a list, ranking all 30 NHL logos. I found it to be a complete joke at first. Then, after much reflection, I realized that ranking logos is stupid. It's all a matter of opinion. People are biased because of loyalties to teams and hatred towards other teams. Plus we are simply human. We have different tastes in food, clothing, color preferences, recreational activities, etc. So of course we are going to have different tastes in logos.

So now it's my turn to make a stupid rankings list. IN MY OPINION, here is how the ranking of NHL logos should go. And sorry, I'm not cool enough to put little pictures of the logos next to each one. Actually, I'm probably cool enough. I'm just too lazy.

...and I will try my best to not let my hatred for certain teams (I'm looking at you, Red Wings) affect my opinions about their logo.

30. Anaheim Ducks. I don't mind the "D" logo. But their official main logo is the one that actually says the word "ducks." Dumb. Put the "D" as the main crest for all the jerseys, not just the alternate and the ranking improves dramatically.

29. Carolina Hurricanes. Perhaps I'm bitter because my beloved Whalers became the Hurricanes, but I can't help but be reminded of a flushing toilet when I see this logo. Terrible.

28. Washington Capitals. I'm not a fan of wordmark logos I guess. I really liked their eagle logo when they had it.

27. Ottawa Senators. I just don't like that guy looking at me.

26. Buffalo Sabres. Who thought of this? Hey, we're the Sabres and we're from a city called Buffalo. So let's put some sabres and a buffalo inside a circle. Brilliant! Better than the Buffaslug though.

25. Edmonton Oilers. Not a big fan of circle logos, but the Oilers is okay, I guess. I liked their modernized alternate from a few years back.

24. Toronto Maple Leafs. I like the simplicity, but there's something about it that I just don't love. It's a one-color Maple Leaf. And it says, in boring letters, "Toronto Maple Leafs." Don't give me that crap about the Original Six and traditions. It's boring and you know it. I like their old-school alternate better.

23. New York Islanders. Lots of tradition behind this logo but I've never been a huge fan. Looks better when viewed with the jersey.

22. New York Rangers. I feel like I'm letting my family down ranking it so low, but I'm glad this logo is not used as the main jersey crest.

21. Pittsburgh Penguins. Prefer the majestic penguin on the 1990's logo to the dorky one.

20. Los Angeles Kings. Not a bad logo, I just hate the "LA" part. When I see that, I don't think Los Angeles. I think "La" as in the musical note.

19. Tampa Bay Lightning. Throw some black and/or silver in there and the ranking for this logo shoots right up. I'm glad they got rid of the words used in the original logo, but they made it TOO simple.

18. Boston Bruins. Believe it or not, this is actually much higher than it would have been several years ago. As a Whalers fan, I learned to hate all things Bruins. But now, my kids' youth hockey team is called the Bruins (plus the Whalers don't exist anymore) so I have warmed up a bit.

17. St. Louis Blues. Similar to what I will write about the Coyotes below, when used in combination with the entire jersey, the Blues have one of my favorite looks. But as a stand-alone logo, it's middle-of-the-pack.

16. Montreal Canadiens. Completely ignoring the historical aspect here. As a hockey logo, it is simple and the colors are good.

15. Philadelphia Flyers. I hate the Flyers and I'm not a big fan of orange. But I like the "P" with wings design.

14. Winnipeg Jets. Still think they could have come up with something better, but this one is okay.

13. Nashville Predators. I was going to rank them a bit lower, but I'll be nice to my brother.

12. Vancouver Canucks. Better than the skate, V, or hockey stick logos.

11. Phoenix Coyotes. Overall, I think the Coyotes' uniforms are among the top 5 best in the league. But since I'm just ranking logos, I'll put it here. Good, but not great.

10. Florida Panthers. Very complex logo, which normally I don't like. But it works for the Panthers.

9. Dallas Stars. Still too new to appropriately rank. But I'll give them a top 10 rank simply because they use green (which only appears in a few logos).

8. Detroit Red Wings. It kills me to rank this so high but I was trying to be honest an objective. I just hate those guys with every tired muscle in my Italian body. I like the wheel as the symbolic representation of the Motor City.

7. New Jersey Devils. Love that they have never had any other logo (just a change from green to black). No need to change such a cool thing.

6. Calgary Flames. Simple yet cool. Just looks like it belongs on the front of a hockey jersey.

5. Colorado Avalanche. I hate the Avalanche. And I think the Avalanche is a stupid name for a hockey team. But as far as avalanche logos go, this is cool.

4. San Jose Sharks. I don't have any data to back this up, but I'm confident it would be harder to find someone who didn't like the Sharks logo compared to finding someone who did.

3. Columbus Blue Jackets. Yes, I'm biased. Deal with it.

2. Chicago Blackhawks. Maybe it's because I had the same logo on my jersey when I played youth hockey. Whatever it is, it's just plain cool. Thinking about it now and perhaps it should be #1 instead of the Wild.

1. Minnesota Wild. Love this logo. Whoever came up with it is a genius. The animal is sweet but the fact that it is formed using symbols from the wilderness is just so cool. Too bad Wild is a stupid name for a hockey team.

Where is OUR Tarasenko?

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 20:14:00 +0000

For those of you who have never read my blog posts before (and let's face it, not many people have...I don't write them very often and I certainly don't promote them), let me start with a brief background. I am a long suffering hockey fan. I became a Hartford Whalers fan in the mid 80's while growing up in Connecticut. While attending college in Ohio, the Whalers became the Hurricanes. Soon after establishing my permanent residence in Ohio, I shifted my allegiance to the hometown Blue Jackets. One could say that my favorite NHL team has sucked for 25 years.

So whenever I decide to write, readers have to understand that I have a chip on my shoulder. Blue Jackets fans complain about suffering for 12 years. I've been suffering a lot longer than that. It's astonishing really. Disregarding a few blips on the good team radar (like the one year the Jackets made the playoffs), I am 36 years old and have never been able to proudly call my favorite NHL team a winner.

Which brings me to the Blue Jackets.

I complain a lot about them. My wife puts up with a lot of it. Sure, it's just a game. But it's a game I love and one for which I have been desperate for a winner to root for. Not only does the losing bother me, but the stupid comments from other fans around the league like this one from Twitter:

"How many Blue Jackets fans does it take to change a light bulb? Both of them."

Attack the team, fine. They deserve it. But I hate reading jokes and comments like that directed towards the fans. What they don't seem to understand is that there are PLENTY of die-hard, hard-core, heart and soul Blue Jackets fans out there. And there will be PLENTY more once the team starts winning games.

But why can't they win consistently? Well, that's been addressed so many times in so many articles and so many blogs. I don't want to delve into it here. What I want to mention is what seems to be the bad luck cloud that seems to hang over the Jackets. They can't seem to catch a break when it comes to stand-out talent. This point struck a chord with me as I watched and read about a few players this year.

Tarasenko for St. Louis. Where the heck did he come from? It's players like this who seem to come out of nowhere for other teams, but not for us. Tarasenko is tearing it up for the Blues this year. Why couldn't Johansen step in for the Jackets and tear it up last year?

Brunner for Detroit. While he is not exactly "tearing it up," so to speak, the one time I saw him play he seemed to have that intangible, unexplainable "it" thing.

What about Landeskog for Colorado? He's already a captain and has been putting up good numbers. There are many, many others but I think my point has been made so I'll stop there.

With the Jackets, no player since Nash has really seemed to come on board and immediately made an impact offensively. One could argue Zherdev, but he's gone now and for all intents and purposes I would call him a bust. Brule was supposed to step in and tear it up. He didn't. Voracek was supposed to step in and tear it up. He didn't. Brassard was once touted as one of our next big superstars. Doesn't seem like that is going to happen.

This year, with Nash gone, the Jackets no longer have their star offensive performer. So who is going to step up and become that guy in the next few years? Atkinson? JAM? Johansen? I don't have the answer. But I do know that it is so frustrating seeing other teams hit home runs with their players and the Jackets keep striking out. You can blame our drafts if you want, but it seems like at some point the law of averages says SOMETHING has to work out, regardless of who we take.

It just seems like the Jackets are long, long overdue for someone to step up, surprise us, and be a new offensive threat on the team.

What next?

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 14:37:00 +0000

It's been almost 48 hours since the Rick Nash trade went down. I've had time to digest and read a plethora (forever grateful to The Three Amigos for that word) of blogs, articles, and twitter comments. I originally started writing this entry with the intention of giving my opinions about the trade. I found myself stumbling over words, struggling to find the right way to say what I wanted to say, and simply re-stating what countless other bloggers, columnists, and twitter users have already said.

My entry began to focus more on what the Blue Jackets should do next. So I deleted a whole bunch of stuff and here we are. What should be next for the Jackets?

Scott Howson has stated that no other moves are imminent. This is the same man who fired his coach 2-3 weeks after stating the problem with his team was not the coach. Plus, there would be no real benefit to announcing "yes, we have several trade possibilities and free agent signings lined up." My point is that there is no way to know what Howson and the Blue Jackets are thinking. Are they content with going into the 2012-2013 season with the roster as is? Or are they "always looking for ways to improve their team" and open to the idea of tweaking a thing or two?

I for one hope that the Jackets are not done yet. I think the roster, as is, is better than last year's roster, even without Nash. They remind me of the teams fielded (iced?) by the Jackets during their first few years of existence. Hard working, blue collar, scrappy, never quit, solid players. If the 2012-2013 season starts (preferably on time) and the Jackets have not made any other moves, I won't complain too much. But if they are truly always looking for ways to improve their team, I know what I would do in Howson's position.

1. Bernier. Get him. If the price is right of course. I noticed quite a few people on Twitter and various message boards wondering aloud why some of us Jackets fans are enamored with him. To that I can say these four words: he's not Steve Mason. The Nash trade signifies a major culture shift (or at least an attempt at one). I see Mason as the final piece of '"the old" that needs to go to make room for "the new." See what it takes to get Bernier. If the price is right, get him. And before you jump on me, let me say that I understand that there are many difficult hurdles to overcome in order to make it happen. For example, who would the Kings have as their backup? Would they take York or McE? Would the Jackets have to part with another of their goaltending prospects? Would they take Mason and his unnecessarily expensive contract?

If not, here's the part that may differ from many other CBJ fans' opinion, send Mason to the AHL. Put him through waivers and see if anyone bites. If someone takes him, oh well. If not, I say hold onto Mason if you can. Let him be humbled a bit in the minors. Let him try to rediscover his Calder form. Mason is still young. You never know, he could find his game again and either be a future star for the Jackets or become a huge trade asset. I just think of how Mike Smith was tossed around from Dallas to Tampa to Phoenix and suddenly he's awesome. Goaltenders can be late bloomers sometimes. Maybe Mason is just that. If so, I'd kind of like to have him in the organization to be either a star goaltender for Columbus or as a piece of a trade for other team needs.

But back to Bernier... I just really like the idea of having two goaltenders with #1 potential battle it out for #1 duties with the Jackets. Maybe it won't work out, but that's a risk I'd prefer to seeing another year of Steve Mason in between the pipes.

2. Ryan. Get him. If you can. I think, should Bobby Ryan truly be available through a trade, there is going to be a lot of competition now for his services with Nash off the table. However, it cannot be overlooked that the Jackets now have a great deal of assets that they might be willing to part with. If they don't use any of these assets in a trade, great! More assets for the future! But if they do, I would love to see them acquire a scorer like Ryan. I'm not all that familiar with his style of play or attitude, but I do know that his stats are similar to those of one Rick Nash. There were a lot of line up scenarios posted by fans following the Nash trade. None of them really blew me away. I kept thinking how awesome it would be to plug Ryan in to one of those lines.

Reality has taught me not to do this on many other occasions involving the Blue Jackets, but I can't help but think it's a possibility. We HAVE assets. The Ducks COULD use what we have to offer. Why not us? Why not the Blue Jackets? This is not a situation where Ryan is demanding to go to a particular team. This is a situation where an organization (the Ducks) is considering trading a player. The organization will want to get the best return for their player. I honestly think the Jackets may be able to give them the return they are looking for.

As with the Bernier situation, I am well aware of the complications and hurdles that would hinder such a trade. It's never as easy as it seems. But man, it sure makes a whole lot of sense to me.

3. Semin. The backup plan. If the Jackets are unable to acquire Ryan, I say go for Semin IF and only if the contract term is short. I have no information to back this up and I'm solely basing this on heresay, but I have heard that there are some attitude issues with Semin. So keep the contract short. See what you get. If it doesn't work out, he's gone in a year to two. In the meantime, you get some much needed offense.

Just a backup plan. If the Jackets tried for Bernier and Ryan, failed, and then decided not to go after Semin, I think I'd be okay with that too.

The good news is that things seem to FINALLY be moving in a positive direction for the CBJ. At first I was saddened by Rick Nash's trade. But here I sit and you know how I feel? Meh. I'll miss Rick Nash, but I'm excited to see what this reincarnation of the first Jackets will do. I keep thinking of teams like St. Louis and Florida who had very successful seasons without a true super star. It's possible! And I have hope! But I hope the Jackets consider making the moves I have discussed here too. Should they happen, I would be 10 times more excited about the upcoming season.

Go Jackets!

-wj

Nash vs. Howson: Who is to blame for this mess?

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Tue, 03 Jul 2012 04:09:00 +0000

We Blue Jackets fans are following the Rick Nash saga very closely and a lot of blame is being thrown around. I was just reading some of the "arguments" on Twitter and hockey message boards. Some are blaming Rick Nash for this mess. Others are blaming Scott Howson. Here's my take...

There is no need for all these senseless arguments. It is quite clear that both Nash and Howson deserve blame.

Why I blame Nash:

1. He is the captain and leader of the Blue Jackets. He is giving up on his team. He signed a long term commitment to the Jackets. He even balked at the Jackets' first offer, demanding more money. He got his money. He needs to honor his contract.
2. If he wants out that badly, then he should not be so strict with his list of teams to which he'd accept a trade. I can understand a list (his no movement clause in his contract grants him that). I just think his list should be a little more extensive. Perhaps 10 teams instead of the rumored 5. *Note: please understand that I am basing my opinions on the current (assumed correct) information floating around the web about this infamous list. I understand and admit that the information we think is correct may be flawed.

Why I blame Howson:

1. He could not build a winning team. Had he done so, Nash would not be in this position in the first place. He is 28 and wants to play for a winner. Can't argue that logic. Howson has not built a winner and doesn't seem any closer today than he did when he first became GM.
2. I do not agree with the way he handled the situation. I don't see how announcing to the media that Rick Nash requested a trade gained him leverage in the trade market. Other GM's did not need to know that. I think return value would have been higher if other GM's thought they had to PRY Rick Nash away from the Jackets.

So there you have it. I just don't get all the arguing. It's seems pretty crystal clear that there is blame to share on both sides. Now granted, one can argue that either Nash or Howson deserves MORE blame than the other. That's completely understandable. I have my opinion but I won't go into that here. Okay, I will, it's Howson. But I also have to say that management must share blame too. Ownership should have stepped in and fired Howson (and perhaps Priest too) a long time ago. He has not been able to build a winner and now he is inexplicably being trusted to deal with the biggest name and best player in franchise history.

I am just not confident that this will work out for the Jackets but I hope I am dead wrong. Prove me wrong, Scott!

-wj

If I Were in Charge...

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 18:03:00 +0000

The Blue Jackets are in a state of turmoil. Nobody knows what the next few weeks or months will bring in terms of personnel changes. One thing is certain...if I was in charge I would have this ship righted in no time.

Here are the players I would trade (or at least try to) before the deadline:

1. Pahlsson - No brainer. UFA at season's end. I have been unimpressed with him since day 1. Easily replaceable in my opinion.
2. Vermette - Yes, he's having a down year but maybe we could get something halfway decent for him if other teams recognize his faceoff prowess (and perhaps the idea that he would be a better player on a better team).
3. Prospal - Love the guy, but other teams will too. Get something for him and then, if he fits into our longterm plan as a veteran, sign him back in the offseason.
4. Tyutin - Decent defenseman, but not irreplaceable. If we can unload his contract, we could sign someone of equal ability this summer for a lower price.
5. Clitsome - I like Clitsome. But he has not progressed the way we had hoped. Get something for him.
6. Boll - I would take a lot of heat for this one. However, we have similar players who could step in to his role. If we are truly looking at a major shakeup, some major players (including fan favorites) need to go to alter the chemistry.
7. Carter - Sorry, but it just hasn't worked. Granted he has been injured, but I was not impressed with his style of play, chemistry with Nash, or his work ethic/attitude. He might bring a very nice return. In fact, for what we gave up, he better.
8. Huselius - Forgot he was on this team. Get what you can for him. Waste of cap space right now.
9. Martinek - Same as Huselius.

Here are the players I would definitely keep as part of our rebuilding (I hate that word) project:

1. Nash - He is our franchise, like it or not. No one can honestly say they wouldn't want a Rick Nash on their team. I'm convinced he's part of the solution. We just need to surround him with better parts.
2. Brassard - I'm just not ready to give up on this guy. He has shown flashes of brilliance. If we trade him, he'd become an all star for another team and we'd regret moving him.
3. Dorsett - Never thought I'd say this. Before this season, he was my least favorite Jacket (congrats Pahlsson, that's now you!). But his work ethic, heart, and toughness are invaluable.
4. MacKenzie - The dude brings it every night. I think he is a perfect 4th line player.
5. Wiz - He'll be all right once he's recovered and we upgrade our blueline with a more defensive defenseman.
6. Moore - I like this kid's potential. He's played well.
7. Johan - Hopefully this kid will be as scary good as I think he could be.
8. Nikitin - I like him. I think he's solid. Let's see if he continues to improve and impress. But change his first name to simply Nik.
8. Prospects like Atkinson, Kubalik, Savard, Calvert. Let's see how they develop.

Here are the players I wouldn't mind keeping but if the right deal came along, I'd send him away.

1. Methot. Solid d-man. Wouldn't mind keeping him, but there are plenty of defensemen in the world who could step into his shoes as a #5 or #6 blueliner.
2. Umberger. Thought he was the heart and soul of the team. Haven't seen it this year. Would like to keep him and hope he regains his old form...but if there was an offer I couldn't refuse, so be it.
3. Mason - Let's give him another year or two. If there's any way to get him to the minors, do it. But if at all possible, keep him in the organization. I'm afraid if we lose him, in a few years it will come back to bite us.
4. Johnson - Decent spare part as a #7 defenseman. Makes a lot of mistakes but so do a lot of #7 defensemen.
5. Letestu - Has shown that he is serviceable. But we have had way too many "serviceable" types. If we can package him for something, do it.

Other things I'd do:

Fire Howson. He's had his shot. Time for someone else, with more experience, to take over. Make Patrick the interim GM. If he wants to stay on as permanent GM, so be it. If not, allow him to actively guide management's decision for a replacement. I would do this soon so Howson would not be in control at the trade deadline.

Allow Richards to finish the year as interim coach then have the new GM, be it Patrick or someone else, hire his choice for a replacement. I would try to make sure Dave King got an interview.

Hire a team of researchers to visit other NHL arenas and attend their home games. I'd find a model that I like and use it to change our game operations. I'm not saying our game operations is flat out bad, but if we're trying to change the culture, we might as well change the atmosphere of Nationwide Arena.

As for Priest...I'm not sure. Gun to my head, had to make a decision, I'd say let him go and find a replacement. I'm really unsure about the the amount of blame that falls on him for the disaster that is the Columbus Blue Jackets (I'd say it is more GM than president), but if we're trying to make sweeping changes, he should go too.

Bring back a former Jacket. Let's pay a little homage to some of the first Jackets' teams when there was so much hope and enthusiasm. Let's return a little piece from the good ol' days. How about Jody Shelley? If not as a player, how about as an assistant coach, TV analyst, or scout? As I mentioned earlier, how about King as coach? What about Jan Hrdina as senior director of scouting? Kidding about that one. But in all seriousness, one of the things that made the early years of the Blue Jackets existence so awesome was the connection the fans felt with the players. I can't describe it. It's hard to put it into words, but it was there. I would bring back a small part of that.

Fire Rimer. I'm sorry, but he makes the games so darn hard to watch on TV. He's way past his prime. Davidge has one choice: move back to the radio booth or be gone.

I would also sit down with Natalie Taylor and get a feel...for whether or not she should stay or go.

Carter = Shanahan Part 2?

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 03:00:00 +0000

Please understand that I am writing this as a former fan of the Hartford Whalers.

The Jeff Carter-to-the-Blue Jackets situation has intrigued me from day 1. You remember that day right? That was the day that Carter pretty much barricaded himself in his home and refused to speak to anyone. Speculation abound that he was not just unhappy he was traded by a Phliadelphia team to which he was signed to a long-term deal (and whose GM told him he wouldn't be traded), but unhappy that he was going to Columbus.

That speculation continues to this day. Some fans will point out what they call "laziness" or "soft" shifts. They wonder if Carter's attitude towards being a member of the woefully inept Columbus Blue Jackets, away from the bright lights of the big city night life, is reflected in his on-ice performance. Coaches, the GM, and players would never say this were the case. Carter himself would never admit this (at least he has not yet). But for me, and some other fans, I have to wonder.

I've seen this situation before. Before the 1995-1996 season, Brendan Shanahan was traded from the St. Louis Blues to the Hartford Whalers for young defenseman Chris Pronger. Whalers fans were ecstatic. Much like Blue Jackets fans were when they heard the news that all star Jeff Carter was on the way to Columbus. This was the all star, goal scoring machine that was going to bring the Whalers to a level of respectability.

The Whalers, just like the current Blue Jackets', did not have the season they expected. They did not make the playoffs. It was yet another year of frustration for those who bled green. Shanahan didn't say much during that losing season. He went about his business, performed his duties as the team captain, scored his goals (44 to be exact), and represented the Whale as an all star that season.

Then the summer came around. Shanahan decided he had had enough. Small market Hartford, with its team of perennial losers, was not for him. It was before the start of the 1996-1997 season that Brendan Shanahan requested a trade.

Shanahan played two more games for the Whale in the 1996-1997 season before his request was granted. He was shipped off to Detroit for Keith Primeau and Paul Coffey. Coffey HATED Hartford and requested a trade too, but that's a different story.

The point is that I can see Carter pulling a Brendan Shanahan. We have no way of knowing if he is truly unhappy as a member of the Columbus Blue Jackets. But there is a lot speculation that he is. So let's just say for discussion's sake that this is true. The Blue Jackets are going nowhere this year. Their season is shot. At this moment, there isn't any reason to bet on a huge turnaround next year. The Blue Jackets don't exactly have a stellar playoff history. Columbus has also yet to establish itself as a hockey hotbed draw for big name free agents (years of losing will cause that).

If he truly is unhappy, what's going to stop him from requesting a trade? His contract is a desirable one (hey, we signed him). He obviously has talent. Carter could very easily, in my opinion, get his wish if he wants out. I would think there'd be plenty of takers. He could move on.

I would have loved to end this blog entry with this sentence: I hope he does not. But I can't do that. I'm still not quite sure how I feel about him as a member of the Blue Jackets. He has talent, there's no doubt about that. His shot is wicked. I'm just not sure about his style and attitude and how those aspects of his game fit into the long term plans of the Jackets. But then again, the Jackets seem to be clueless about their long term plans and identity right now anyway. So who knows.

But I can definitely see the similarities between Brendan Shanahan circa 1995 and Jeff Carter 2011 and the teams/cities for which they play(ed). If Carter does want out, I just hope his return value equals or exceeds what the Jackets paid to get him. Please understand, I am not suggesting he DOES want out of Columbus. I'm just saying if that ends up being the case, I won't be surprised. I've seen it before.

Date or Jackets Game on TV?

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 19:40:00 +0000

My family recently moved to Troy, Ohio. Since the move, our lives have mostly been devoted to unpacking boxes, fixing things we didn't know needed fixed, and basically just getting settled down. But tonight my wife and I are going on a date. The mom-in-law has graciously offered to watch our three kids and we're off to dinner and a movie.

What makes this occasion "blogworthy" is the fact that to go out with my wife, I am voluntarily missing a Blue Jackets game on TV. Up until this year, I would have taken a rain check. There would be no way in heck that I would miss watching that game on TV. What's different about this year? There's no need to watch because I already know the outcome.

Yes, I'm exaggerating, but I think my decision pretty much sums up what most Jackets fans are feeling right now. That feeling is the lack of hope. We feel like the season is lost. We feel like the Jackets don't have a very good chance of winning games. So why make watching their game a priority over something that could be done on any other night? Why subject myself to the frustration?

So I'll go out tonight with my lovely wife. I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope for a Jackets victory but I'm not going to expect one. I'll enjoy a nice night out...and perhaps check in on the score from time to time.

8 Reasons to Start York

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 01:01:00 +0000

Here are eight reasons the Blue Jackets should start Allen York in goal against the Flyers 11/5/11.

8. If a roster change is not imminent, might as well make some changes from within. A simple change like a goalie change might even give you a spark.

7. Give the kid some experience. He in the NHL as a prospect in your system. Might as well get him some more experience, even if he isn't considered your long-term solution. Who cares if it's an away game? Who cares if it's in Philly? What's the worst thing that could happen? A loss? Mason can get those too.

6. The players seem to have lost confidence in Mason. Every player on that bench, although they'd never say it, knows Mason lost that game against Toronto almost single-handedly. It seems reasonable to think that the players might actually play a better game themselves without Mason as their netminder.

5. Maybe you catch lightning in a bottle. Nobody expected Mason to come in two years ago and become a Calder winner just like that. Yet he did. It's possible, however unlikely, York will find a groove and play well. Toronto's third string goaltender did just that.

4. Perhaps Mason could benefit from some time riding the pine. It will allow him to rest, mentally and physically, and watch the game from a different perspective...the backup goaltender's.

3. If York loses the game for the Jackets, that's just one step closer to a top 2 draft pick.

2. Mason needs to be punished for his performance against Toronto. Why reward him with another start? Does Arniel want him to "bounce back?" If he hasn't bounced back after two years, he's not going to bounce back now. Like any player, he needs to be held accountable for bad play. Let him sit.

1. The season is all but over. Could it really do more harm than good?

Why the Blue Jackets Suck

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 00:36:00 +0000

After reading every article and watching nearly every game, I have determined the problem with the Columbus Blue Jackets. I know why they suck. I can sum up all their problems and reasons for failure with one simple word: me. Yes, I regret to inform you fellow Blue Jackets fans that I, Anthony, am solely responsible for this mess.

Allow me to explain... I started following the NHL in 1985 when I was 9 years old growing up in Connecticut. I distinctly remember this because the Hartford Whalers had an improbable run in the playoffs (yes, it was only the second round, but still). I was enamored. The Whalers were the hometown team. They seemed to be a team on the rise. They took the Canadiens to 7 games in the second round and almost knocked them out. My parents were die-hard Ranger fans so I kind of had a split-allegiance, but I definitely liked the Whale.

The next year, 1986, they were Adams Division champions. I went to their first playoff game and watched Paul MacDermiad (sp?) score the overtime winner against the Nordiques. Paul Lawless, Ron Francis, Dean Evason, Kevin Dineen, Mike Liut. I was hooked. No more split-allegiance. The Whalers were my team.

It was almost like the instant I decided they were my favorite team, they went downhill. After going up 2-0 to the Nordiques, they lost the series 4-2. They never won another playoff series before they ceased to exist. In college, still a fan, I went through the Brendan Shanahan debacle and followed them right up until they left Hartford.

Now living in Ohio, I tried to continue rooting for the now Carolina Hurricanes. It was difficult, but with Center Ice and the Internet, I managed. They had their moments in a weak Southeast Division, but they weren't great. Then there was an anomaly. They made an improbably run to the Stanley Cup finals. They lost, of course, but there was hope. This team was on the rise (much like the 85-86 Whalers). Nope. The wheels came off the next year and they were right back to mediocrity.

I stuck with them for a while, but there was this other team I started watching on TV. They were still one of the new kids on the block in the NHL. They were young. They worked hard. They were fun to watch. They never seemed to give up even though clearly inferior. The crowds watching them were, to quote Jeff Rimer, ELECTRIC! Plus they were the hometown team. They were the Columbus Blue Jackets. I began watching the Jackets regularly. Like my early days as a Whalers fan, I was enamored. Plus the team had several former Whalers: Sanderson, Dineen, Kron, Kucera, and Cassels. Something told me it was time to switch my allegiance. I decided that I was no longer a Hurricanes fan. I was a Columbus Blue Jackets fan.

Within the next two years, as if a monkey had been removed from their backs, the Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup. It was like they were suddenly able to compete now that they were no longer my favorite team. It was like a kick in the groin to see them hoist the Cup. I stop liking them and suddenly they are Stanley Cup champions??? They couldn't have done this a few years ago? Nope. I guess it would be too much to ask to experience the jubilation of having my favorite team win the Stanley Cup.

But at least I had the hometown Jackets to watch. They were young. They had the top stadium experience in the country. Surely they would turn things around and become a winner!

But of course, it was almost like they were doomed the moment I decided to make them my favorite team. Sure they had that one playoff appearance, but there is absolutely nobody in this world who could consider them a success story at this point. What has prevented them from becoming a success? What is the one constant? Me.

Think about it. In 26 years of being a die-hard hockey fan, I have never been able to say that my favorite team was a winning team. Yes, I've had my moments, bu they have been few and far in between. 26 years is a long time to go without watching my favorite team succeed. I can only imagine what Cubs fans go through . And I know I'm being overly superstitious, but I can't help but think my bad luck has somehow rubbed off on my favorite teams. Sorry Jackets fans. Blame me. If you know of anything I could do to break this curse, you just tell me and I'll do it. I'll try anything. Well, almost anything.

House Selling Nightmare

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 03:30:00 +0000

Many people have asked me about how the process of selling our house has gone. In one word: horrible. But if you want to know more about how unlucky we've been, read on...

I'll start off with the worst part. We had a couple visit our home three times. After the second time, they called us on the phone to tell us they wanted to buy our house. They just had to wait until the closing on their house (which was about two weeks away). Then we could expect an offer. On the phone, the guy elaborated about how no other house they saw compared to ours. He explained that the house reminded his wife of the one she grew up in and how she didn't even want to go to any other open houses. This was the house for them.

During the third visit, we overheard them talking about where they were going to put furniture. They asked for and were provided with a blank offer sheet. My wife and I thought it was as close to a done deal as could possibly be. We cautiously, yet optimisticly, told family and friends that we thought we were about to sell our home.

But they never contacted us after their closing. After a few weeks, we called them to find out what was going on (although we pretty much knew we were screwed). They didn't respond to our voicemail. A week later, we called again. This time, we got a response. We were told that they were now trying to decide between our house and another. Hmmm...suddenly they were interested in another home too. It felt like the kiss of death.

In a last ditch effort, we called them back and left another voicemail. This time offering to lower our asking price by $12,000 if that would help them make their decision.

That was a month ago. We never heard from them again. That has been the worst part of this process. But that was just one morsel in a smorgasboard of crap.

Because we were trying to avoid the absurd commission required to pay a realtor, we have been trying to sell our house on our own. We've had guests just about every week (I'll tell you about one particular week without any visitors later). We've busted our butts to get this house in tip-top condition. And it has been. I feel like we've acted like drill seargants with our kids. We've been very strict about keeping things clean and putting toys away. They haven't even been able to use their Christmas present (a trampoline). We keep telling them that we'll set it up at the new house. I feel like they are suffering because of our efforts to sell our home.

So by not involving a realtor, we were immediately putting ourselves at a disadvantage. But we needed that money we were saving for a down payment on a new house. So we just needed a little luck. We thought we had some with the family mentioned above. Obviously not. It seems like bad luck loves us.

We spent hundreds of dollars to use a site called owners.com. We listed our house on their site and I'm not sure if we've had any visitors because of that listing. We also created our own web site (linked to our owners.com listing) with dozens of photos and a video tour. We put a lot of time and effort into that site and again, I'm not sure how many people actually saw it. Plus, owners.com will list your house on the MLS which we really wanted to do. But of course Richmond is in the 10% of Indiana that is not able to be listed by owners.com. So our exposure was very limited.

We spent hundreds of dollars on a newspaper listing for our Open Houses. During those weeks we had a grand total of (I think) two visitors. Both indicated that they didn't even see our listing in the paper. Hundreds of dollars down the drain.

We've had several of our FOR SALE and OPEN HOUSE signs stolen. Stupid kids? Realtors? Who knows. But one week we didn't get a single visitor to our open house. When I went to retrieve our signs (advertising and directing passers-by to our Open House) they were gone. No wonder nobody showed up. Somebody decided to steal the signs that advertised our Open House. What bugs me most about this is that our address was on the signs. It wasn't like they could be re-used. It was done out of pure mischief/meanness.

We even tried placing an ad in Craig's List. Didn't expect much to come from that, but it couldn't hurt, right? Well apparently with Craig's List, anyone can determine that an ad is offensive and have it removed. We tried posting an ad several times. But it kept getting removed within hours of posting. Someone no doubt with a competing house for sale.

We've had at least four realtors contact us and try to convince us to list with them. Most of them claiming to already have a potential buyer for us. The latest, one from Indianapolis (over an hour away), indicated he had almost a sure bet. We kindly offered him a 3% commission if he would send them our way. For whatever reason, he refused...even though he would receive a 3% commission anyway if we listed with an agent and his prospective buyers purchased our house. What's the difference? We just think he was full of crap and didn't have a prospective buyer to begin with.

I'm not a deeply religious guy, but we have buried a statue of St. Joseph in front of our house. So many people have told us that it works like a charm. Well, it didn't work for us with our last house and it hasn't worked so far here. We've said the "Novena" prayer too(for those of you who don't know, it's a 9-day prayer that's supposed to help with the sale of a home). I've also been saying my own prayers. In my prayers I've stated that I don't deserve the good fortune of our house selling...but my wife and kids do. I want the Lord to come through for us, even if it's only for a better life for them. That's the main reason I want to move: to make a better life for my wife and children. That's the bottom line. I don't want them to be punished because I haven't been the best human being I can be.

I've visited the grave of my father-in-law several times and asked him for help. I've even prayed to my recently deceased grandfathers, asking for any assistance they can provide. Surely they would want what's best for their grandson and his family. I'm not sure if they have any influence over what occurs in my life, but I thought it couldn't hurt to ask. I like to think that they are watching over us.

We've even done silly things. For some reason, my youngest son thinks that his rear end is lucky. So he has rubbed his butt on our FOR SALE and OPEN HOUSE signs. It hasn't yielded any significant results, but it at least provided us with some much-needed laughs.

Now my wife is doing the Feng Shui thing on our house. I really don't believe in that stuff but it can't hurt right?

I've asked everyone I know to keep us in their thoughts and prayers. When school was still in session, I even told my students and their parents about our predicament. One girl told me that she had been praying for my family. Isn't that sweet? There are even 10-year old kids and their families sending positive thoughts our way and praying for us.

We thought of another option. We are selling another home on land contract (our first home in Ohio that, surprise, wouldn't sell outright). After some phone calls to our bank, we found a way to have that famly buy the home outright, eliminating the need for the land contract. Then, we could use a property management company to rent this home. It wouldn't be that different of a situation as we are in now. Well, that family was very interested in this idea. It required no down payment and no closing costs. They just had to "pass" a credit check. It's been a few days and we haven't heard back from them. I guess we can't be lucky enough for them to have good enough credit either.

And now, after all our hard work and determination to avoid paying a realtor's full commission, we have decided that it is now come to that. So we've called an agent who we've spoken to a few times previously. But would you believe it...two phone calls and one email over the last two days and she has yet to get in touch with us. Now suddenly even realtors don't want to help us out. Sure, we can easily call another agent, but we kind of liked this one.

I honestly, truly feel like we have done EVERYTHING we possibly could to sell this house. Nothing has worked. We need some luck and unfortunately can't find any. My wife and I are incredibly stressed out. This situation has created a lot of tension between us. It's not like we're arguing all the time or anything, but the sale of this house is always on our minds and has negatively affected our marriage.

I know this is not the right word to use because it sounds childish, but it really feels like this is unfair. We've tried everything. We couldn't sell our last house. Aren't we due for some luck with this one? It's bad enough we can't sell our house, but then we have to get teased by that family who said they wanted to buy it? It really feels unfair. When I complain about my luck, some people say that I am lucky to be married with three beautiful, healthy children. Yes, I am lucky to have that. But trust me, there are PLENTY of people in this world that are married and have beautiful, healthy children...and they have much better luck than me.

To conclude, there are so many people in this world that have it worse than us. I am thankful for my family, my job, and the fact that I even have a house to live in. There are so many people in this world that need your thoughts and prayers more than I do. But after thinking about them and praying for them, if you could take a few extra seconds to do the same for my family and our situation, I'd greatly appreciate it.

EDIT (6/17/11). Just to follow up, the realtor did end up calling us back. Of course (what a suprise, more bad luck), she never got our first message or our email because she was out of the office. She finally got the third message when I called her cell phone. So we are now listed with a realtor. Who is going to be the hero? Who is going to come through for us? God? St. Joseph? Our newly hired realtor? Or (gasp) nobody. Time will tell but we don't have that much time. We need to be moved by the end of the summer so my kids can start school in Troy.

EDIT (6/18/11) Something I forgot to mention regarding that family who said they wanted to buy our house. About a week ago, being without an email address to contact them, I searched for and found them on Facebook. I decided to email both the husband and the wife. It couldn't hurt, right? I was VERY polite. I apologized for contacting them on Facebook and explained that I was only doing so because I didn't want to put them on the spot with a phone call and did not have their email address. I simply asked them to let us know whether we were "still in the running." I explained that even if they were no longer interested in our house, we would just like to know for sure. I sent the message and became kind of a Facebook stalker. The husband did not have his profile set to "private." So I checked in once in a while to see if he posted "We bought a new house today!" or something like that. I didn't see a status update like that, but since I sent my email message, I did notice that he became friends with someone. That means he received my message but has chosen not to respond. That just screams out jerk to me. If you want me to screw off, fine. Just have the courtesy to tell me.

EDIT (6/22/11) Well, that guy finally returned my email. He informed me that they had an offer accepted on another house. What a huge surprise. He also felt the need to comment that the inspection process was a "headache." You want to know what's a headache? Being told to expect an offer on your house and then have it COMPLETELY backfire. That's a headache. He also told me that we had a great house and that he was sure it would sell soon. You know how many people have told me that? Too many. I certainly didn't need him, of all people, to tell me that too. I did not appreciate his comments (although I'm sure they were made without malicious intent), but I was polite and thanked him for letting me know what was going on.

So. The smallest ray of hope to which I was clinging is now completely gone. Deep down, I really thought they would buy our house. I thought the lack of communication might have been a bargaining strategy of some sort. I was dead wrong. That's what I get for being optimistic I guess. Back to the drawing board.

Stupid People and Pizza

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 03:20:00 +0000

It really amazes me how stupid people can be, generally speaking. I can use one of my favorite things in the world, pizza, to explain.

The other night I was craving something sweet to eat. I wanted, more than anything, some cinnamon rolls from Cici's Pizza. I was willing to go out and pick them up. But I could not. Why? Because Cici's went out of business several months ago.

This makes me very angry because Cici's was a very good thing. Now it's gone. And I blame the stupid people who live around here for it.

We live in a time when the economy is not the best. There are many people without jobs. Even more people with budgets that have been tightened. Well, Cici's pizza offered something that fit just that. A person could have all the pizza, pasta, salad, and dessert they could eat for about 5 bucks.

Now, in my opinion, the pizza at Cici's is average at best. The pasta is not very good (but I'm 100% Italian...I am spoiled when it comes to pasta). The salad is salad. The desserts are PHENOMENAL. My wife and kids LOVE their brownies. I did not but I don't like chocolate. But their apple dessert pizza is awesome. So good that I commonly referred to it by the name "Apple Orgasm" pizza. And then, their cinnamon rolls...my mouth is watering just thinking about them. My friends and I call them "Cinnamon Ejaculation."

But regardless of my opinions, the point is that people can spend $5 and get an all-you-can-eat meal featuring at least halfway decent food. How can you top that? Especially when you have a large family? You don't even have to leave a tip!!!

And this place was forced to go out of business? What the heck are people thinking? The economy is bad. If you are going to go out to dinner, doesn't it make sense to go someplace decent and, better yet, affordable? I'm not saying go there every time you want to eat dinner out, but there wasn't enough people willing to go there to keep it afloat? Come on people!

Yet the Texas Roadhouse here in town is ALWAYS packed. There are ALWAYS cars in the lot. Yes, Texas Roadhouse. Where it typically costs my family of 5 approximately $40 for a meal including dinners, appetizer, drinks, and tip. Compared to the $15-$20 we spent at Cici's. Yes, my young children even got to eat for free at Cici's.

Or Golden Corral. Where you get an all-you-can-eat meal...but you have to pay about $10 a person for it. That parking lot is always jammed too.

I'm not defending the quality of Cici's. Like I said, I wasn't impressed by their food...except the desserts. Man, they're good! I'm simply baffled that a place such as that was unable to stay in business in this economy. I really think it's because people are stupid and don't know a good thing when it's right in front of their eyes.

A few months ago, a Little Ceasar's Pizza restaurant opened up here in town. Not the best pizza in the world, but let me tell you, it sure does hit the spot when it's 9:30 at night, the kids are in bed, and you've had your share of Taco Bell. Plus, you can get a large, 16-in cheese or pepperoni pizza for $5. All day every day. For that price, I can deal with some sub-par tasting pizza once in a while. Heck, it's better than frozen pizza that costs about the same amount.

So we'll see if the folks in this town screw this one up too.

WJ

Yeah, Skyline! Boo, Skyline!

noreply@blogger.com (whalerjacket) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 23:55:00 +0000

First I have to thank Skyline Chili in my hometown. Every time the Colts or Bengals win over the weekend, cheese coneys are 99 cents on Tuesday. So I have been loading up the last few weeks...and it has been wonderful.

But then Skyline made me mad today. Usually, when I go to Skyline I will order coneys for me and my boys. My little girl is only 2 and doesn't know the difference between a Skyline coney and a Walmart hot dog. So we just save a buck and make a hot dog for her at home.

Today we were out of hot dogs so I was going to buy her a coney without chili at Skyline. So I ordered my 7 cheese coneys and asked for the last one to have cheese only, no chili. The gal behind the counter asked "so you want a hot dog with cheese?" I said yes. But I noticed she started pushing a whole lot of buttons like she was removing a coney from my order and putting in a separate order. I was right.

I asked, just to be sure, if the price on that last one was still 99 cents. She said "no." I looked at her in disbelief. I asked "are you serious?" She said yes. So I said nevermind, just give me the regular coney and we'll scrape off the chili.

Unbelievable. So, if I save you the time of putting chili on the hot dog and save you the cost of the chili, you still have to charge me more money? Would it really be that big of a deal to just not put chili on the darn thing?

To make matters worse, while I was inside ordering, this dude pulls up in the drive-thru in a pick up truck with a dog by his side. The person working the drive-thru asked the guy if he'd like a hot dog for the dog. So she grabbed a hot dog, minus bun and toppings, and handed it to the guy, free of charge, to give to his passenger canine.

So it's okay to give away a free hot dog to a DOG but a HUMAN customer has to pay full price for a hot dog with cheese instead of 99 cents for a coney minus the chili? Does that make any sense at all?

I don't get this. Similarly I don't understand why Arby's offers Arby's Melts 5 for $5 but you have to pay regular price for the regular roast beef sandwiches. You can't just order 5 Arby's Melts without the cheese? Now admittedly I have never tried this, but it seems to me that if an Arby's Melt is on sale, a regular roast beef sandwich should be on sale too.

I don't have a business degree, but as a guy who understands money pretty well, I just don't understand this.

-wj