I’m sure that many of you would have received this email, just as sure that most of you would have recognized it for what it truly is, a pile of BS. Honestly, what professional would use a Yahoo account as a return email address?

Anyway, if you are even considering falling for this crap, don’t! Take my advice and don’t even respond to it because if you do, all you will be doing is confirming that they found a legitimate email which will open the floodgates to more of this crap.

Microsoft Department of Promotion
Microsoft Italy s.p.a.
Dpt 2444 .
via del casale vecchio 2 Roma,
Italy.
Attention: Lucky Winner,
A happy new day to you, as we congratulate you, being one of the lucky winners of the result of the Annual Microsoft Email Award held on the 27th of October 2009 in Italy . Your email address emerged as one of the 10 lucky winners selected electronically by our Electronic lotto Wheel. The total sum of ?1.500,000 (One Million five hundred thousand euro) has been accredited to your email address file number.
Winners were selected randomly from our list of millions of email addresses around Europe, Asia, some parts of South America to promote computer literacy worldwide as well as to advertise our software and computer products. This promotion was sponsored by a conglomerate of software and computer promotion companies like Intel Group, Toshiba, Dell Computers Apple, and other International software and computers manufacturing Companies.
Your email address number in our file was chosen in the European lottery Coupon network whereby your number came up as one of the lucky winners of our prize money, hence, your price money will be remitted to your choice account, in your country through CITIBANK European Branch.
Your winning details are as follows:
Batch No: QTD5177230
Email File No:QA6612

Coupon No: QTM11009
Amount Won: 1.500,000 (One Million Five Hundred Thousand Euro)
Contact CITIBANK Italia immediately for verification, processing and transferring of your price money to you in your country. Remember to forward them your winning details for confirmation.
Full Name :
Tel Number:
Age:
Occupation :
Address:
Contact Citibank with the below contact info:
Contact Info:
Foreign Remittance Department
Citibank Italia s.p.a
Contact person

Foreign Remittance Department
Citibank Italia s.p.a

Gan-Franco Luca

FOR

James Frank

Via ceasare batista 23/b, Roma Italy
TEL: + 39-320-343-7243
Fax + 39-06-9668-1417
Email:bciti76@yahoo.com
On behalf of our CEO Mr. Bill Gates, all the 2009 promotion sponsors, we congratulate you on your winning..
Mrs. Manzanita Faro Prof. Tom Southgate
(Publicity Secretary) (On-line Coordinator

Remember, do not fall for this shit.

I just got this email, hot off the Bullshit press. Have a read and see sit back in amazement that their are people out there who would fall for this crap.

ELGARDO NATIONAL LOTTERY FUNDING NL
BURDENSTREET 21B
FROM THE DESK OF THE MANAGING DIRECTORS
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONAL/PRIZE AWARD DEPT
REFF: EWS/37818/09
BATCH: 18/459/JGS.
Attention: CEO
RE: LOTTERY FUNDING-WINNINGS/PRIZE CLAIM NOTIFICATION
We are pleased to inform you of the official announcement 24/09/ of winners of the 2009 ELGARDO NATIONAL LOTTERY International Lottery Program, held on the 21st of SEPTEMBER 2009.
You or your company, attached to ticket number 318-8876-2810, with serial number 420-509 drew the lucky numbers 2-13-17-23-35-37-18, and consequently won the lottery FUNDING PAYOUT in the International category.
You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of 2,000,000:00 Euro (Two million Euro), in Cash.
This is from total prize money of Euro 50,000,000.00 shared among 10 lottery FUNDING winners in this category. All participants were selected through a computer balloting system drawn from over 85,000 companies and individuals that pay TAXES to their country government, from the MIDDLE EAST, ASIA, AFRICA, EUROPE, NORTH AMERICA, SOUTH AMERICA and OCEANIA as part our International promotions program,

which is conducted bi-annually.
The lottery FUNDING programmed was sponsored by a conglomerate of multinational companies in the WORLD as part of their social responsibility to the citizens of the communities where they have operational base.
Due to the mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep this award strictly from public notice until your lottery FUNDING claim has been processed and your money remitted to your account. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming or unscrupulous acts by participants of this program. We hope with a part of your prize money, you will participate in our end of year high stakes of 58 million Euro slot in December 2009.
For the immediate processing and collection of your lottery FUNDING prize money, Please contact today our Claim’s Agent.
PROF.TIM
Payment Co-coordinator
LOTTERY FUNDING LIMITED
UK {London} Handling dept Payment Office
Email: Youknowthisisshit.agent1@yahoo.com
Remember, you must contact our claim’s agent not later than the 28th of November 2009. After this date, all funds will be returned as unclaimed. All correspondences to PROF.TIM FULLERTON, by EMAIL, should have this Notification , sent along with it and also, your full name , Contact Address, Country of residence and your Email address, Tel/Fax number is highly needed in UK office.
Please remember to quote your reference and batch numbers as stated above, in every one of your correspondences with your claim agent.
Furthermore, should there be any change of your address, do inform your claims agent as soon as possible.
Congratulations again from all our staff and thank you for being part of our promotions.
Sincerely,
MRS V.JOHNSON
Promotions Manager
ELGARDO international Lottery Member of {WWW.LUCKYDAY.NL}
N.B any breach of confidentiality on the part of the winners will result to instant disqualification. Contact your claim agent by telephone, fax or email as instructed above.
YOU ARE AUTOMATICALLY DISQUALIFIED IF YOU ARE BELOW 18 YEARS OF AGE

Honestly guys, no-one is going to just give money to you for a lottery you didn’t even enter. You would have way more chances of winning an honest lottery than replying to that email, which will only cause you heartache and grief.

You know, I have a great dislike for most politicians as a lot of them do not see the world as it is. For some reason these politicians or political parties are, well, shall we just say they’re either naive or perhaps just plain stupid.

Take the following scenario for example. I got this in an email, and it’s obviously a joke, but it portrays the point I’m trying to make.

The New South Wales Government and the NSW Greens Party were presenting an alternative to local farmers for controlling the native dingo population.

It seems that after years of the farmers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predators, the tree-huggers offered a more humane solution.

What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, where the males would then be castrated and let loose again. Therefore the population would be better controlled.

This was actually proposed to the NSW Farmers and Graziers Association by the combination of State Government and the Greens.

All of the farmers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes.

Finally, one of the old boys in the back of the conference room stood up, tipped his hat back and said, “Son, I don’t think you understand our problem….Those dingos ain’t fuckin’ our sheep – they’re eatin’ them!”

I’ve actually posted this as part of my Friday’s Funnies, because I really thought it was bloody hilarious. I hope you enjoyed it.

THIS IS MY THIRD AND FINAL MAIL TO YOU!!!

On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr.Juriaan Kugger. I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter were returned undelivered. I wish to notify you that late Engr. Juriaan Kugger made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of Thirty Million, One Hundred Thousand Dollars (USD$30, 100.000.00) to you in the Codicil and last testament to his WILL. This may sound strange and unbelievable
to you, but it is real and true. Being a widely traveled man, he must have been in contact with you in the past or simply you were nominated to him by one of his numerous friends abroad who wished you good. Engr. Juriaan Kugger until
death was a member of the Helicopter Society and the Institute of Electronic & Electrical Engineers. Please if I reach you as I am hopeful, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. You are advice to contact me with my personal email: andreawimawanker@phising.co.uk

Await your prompt response.96
Yours in Service,
BARRISTER ANDREAW FRASER ESQ.

What you have just read is an email I received today. This is so full of shit that it beggars belief that anyone would be stupid enough to fall for it.  All I can say is that Barrister Andrew Fraser is a wanker and if your stupid enough to even consider responding to this email, well you’re a bigger wanker than he is.

Dear Friend,

I am Ms. Britney Rowley, a co-recording producer for late Michael Jackson the great legend King of Pop who has just passed away on June 25, 2009. While I was working with Mr. Jackson, he deposited some funds for charitable trust organizations with a secured private institution and up till date nobody knows about the existence of these funds.

Due to the recent crisis going on in Jackson’s family concerning his assets. The Jackson family is now searching for late Michael Jackson undiscovered properties and money which might lead to the discovery of these existing funds. My reason for writing you is that I have decided to retire and resettle and now want the money to be moved out of this institution to you, where you will receive it and keep it safe for me until I come over to meet with you there. I need a trustworthy business partner and friend who will advise me on proper investments in your country and how I can live comfortably. I have obtained and secured all back up documents to support whoever I chose as help to this money.

For your assistance and help in receiving and investing this money, you will benefit a reasonable part of the total money. I will give you my full contact details and I would appreciate it very much if you give me yours including your phone number where I can reach you. Please send your reply through my e-mail britneyrowley@superposta.com

Best regards,
Britney Rowley (Ms)

It’s a damn shame that these low life’s can think, and probably do, get away with this. I left the email as it is in case someone can trace it to the instigator of this obvious phishing scam.

Here is another of those phishing type emails. This one is so full of shit I’d be amazed if anybody fell for it. Anyway, have a read and see what you think; I added the bits in red to highlight the real bullshit parts.

Dear Beneficiary,

I am sorry for the cheque I sent to you for your payment, which you’re unable to Cash due to some unforeseen circumstances. What, you sent me a cheque? Bullshit number 1! I was able to cash the money here and paid all the necessary bills involved in the transactions, and your INTEREST of $1,000 000.00 (One Million United States Dollars) is in cash, and i boxed the money and deposited it with FedEx DIPLOMATIC COURIER COMPANY to deliver it to you as a cash payment, this is the only best system and fastest means to pay you, at this time. Yeah, your going to send me a million bucks in cash! As if customs going to let that shit pass, even if it was true. Bullshit number 2! You are to contact the FedEx DIPLOMATIC COURIER COMPANY with your delivery details including your telephone number, so that they will deliver the package (boxed money) to your personal address, within 48 hours. The FedEx Representative or Officer in charges of the boxes is details is below:-

FedEx DELIVERY CONTACT.
Address: 8, Adepite close Victoria Island Lagos, Nigeria Nigeria, now that’s a hoot!
Officer Name: MR.Tony Workman
EMAIL: twfedexdeliverycompany249@gmail.com
Phone #:- +2347086448275 Cool Fedex is using gmail now. Bullshit number 3!

Fill in the details above to your COURIER AGENT for verification. Yep, here comes the phishing part.

1.Name:
2.Address:
3.Marital Status:
4.Occupation:
5.Age:
6.Sex:
7.Nationality:
8.Country:
9.Telephone Number:

Please I want to let you know that only the supervisor knows the content and nobody else knows about this. You are to contact only Mr. Scott Williams the supervisor, so please waist no time in contacting them. I have paid for the delivery fee so the only money you have to send to them now is the security keeping fee of your consignment and it is $80 United States Dollars.

I would have paid that but they said no because they don’t know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage. What, you can’t take the fees out of the million bucks? I’m sure I wouldn’t miss it. Please I will advice you to be friendly with Mr. Scott Williams the supervisor because he alone has the idea of the content of your consignment. But i want to let you know that I did not give him the key of the boxes so please take note that as soon as they deliver the consignment use this (CODE NUMBERS TO OPEN THE TWO BOXES TO KNOW IF THE COMPLETE ONE MILLION USD IS IN IT).

THE FIRST BOX CODE (0036589) THE SECOND BOX CODE (0014759)   OOH, secret codes, now there is a nice touch. AND I WANT YOU TO KEEP THIS CODE NUMBERS CONFIDENTIAL IN YOUR HOME TO AVOID ANOTHER PERSON GETTING IN TOUCH WITH YOUR MONEY MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.NOTE THAT THE ONLY MONEY YOU WILL PAY FedEx IS $80 DOLLARS AND NO MORE.

If you are clarified you can also send the payment now to this information’s below via Western Union Money Transfer.

Receiver Name: Mr. Sheriff Balogun
Receiver Address: 23401 Lagos, Nigeria.
Sender’s Name:………
Sender’s Address:……
Amount to be sent: $80
Text Question: Helper?
Text Answer: God
Money Transfer Control Number (M.T.C.N).

Report any other email similar to this to us so that necessary action and measures can be taken. And after you have made the payment you have to send the payment information’s to Mr. Scott Williams immediately so that delivery can take place immediately. Oh yeah right, all the other bullshit scam emails are crap and yours is the only legitimate one.  Give me a break.

Thanks for your patience PATIENCE? It was all I could do to keep from falling off my chair laughing.

Sincerely
Mrs. Jennifer Campbell

Well, that’s it. I only highlighted the most obvious ones. This one sure was trying pretty hard to convince someone to pay $80 and to send their private details. Don’t be fooled guys, this is pure unadulterated bullshit and should be deleted as soon as possible.

Even though it’s Saturday here, I reckon it’s Friday somewhere around the globe and so I am posting this as part of the Friday’s Funnies series.

It’s an email that I received ages ago but lost it within my inbox. I found it while giving the inbox a general cleaning. It’s a killer, I hope you enjoy it.

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

‘May I see the new baby?’ I asked.

‘Not yet,’ She said ‘I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.’

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, ‘May I see the new baby now?’

‘No, not yet,’ She said.

After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, ‘May I see the baby now?’

‘ No, not yet,’ replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, ‘Well, when can I see the baby?’

‘WHEN HE CRIES!’ she told me.

‘WHEN HE CRIES?’ I demanded. ‘Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?’

‘BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!’

SENIOR BRANCH MANAGER

CITIZENS INTERNATIONAL BANK PLC.

119,ADEOLA ODEKU V/I

LAGOS NIGERIA

PHONE:234-01-7475892,234-80-20316198

FAX: 234-1-7595633, 234-1-7593356

Alt. e-mail: kunlewilliams@live.com

DEAR RESPECTED FRIEND,

MY SPECIAL GREETINGS TO YOU AND THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY; MY NAME IS MR.RICHARD SIMEON, RECENTLY PROMOTED TO THE OFFICE OF A SENIOR BRANCH MANAGER WITH CITIZENS INTL. BANK PLC. LATE ENGR.(WILBERT) A NATIONAL OF YOUR COUNTRY, WHO IS A CONTRACTOR WITH THE DEPARTMENT OF PETROLEUM RESOURCES VICTORIA ISLAND, LAGOS.

HEREIN AFTER SHALL BE REFERRED TO AS MY CLIENT ON THE 30TH JANUARY, 2000, MY CLIENT, HIS WIFE AND THEIR THREE CHILDREN WERE INVOLVED IN THE KENYAN AIRWAYS FLIGHT CRASH WITH REGISTRATION NUMBER 5Y-BEN WHICH DEPARTED FROM NAIROBI TO DESTINATION  LAGOS AND ALL THE FAMILY DIED IN THIS FATAL AIR CRASH ON 30TH JANUARY 2000. SINCE THEN, I HAVE MADE SEVERAL INQUIRIES TO YOUR EMBASSY TO LOCATE ANY OF MY CLIENT’S EXTENDED RELATIONS, THIS HAS PROVED UNSUCCESSFUL.

AFTER THESE SEVERAL UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPTS, I DECIDED TO TRACE THE LAST NAME OVER THE INTERNET TO LOCATE ANY MEMBER OF HIS FAMILY HENCE I CONTACTED YOU. I HAVE CONTACTED YOU TO ASSIST IN REPATRIATING THE MONEY AND PROPERTY LEFT BEHIND BY MY LATE CLIENT BEFORE THEY GET CONFISCATED OR DECLARED UNSERVICABLE BY THE BANK WHERE THIS HUGE DEPOSIT WAS LODGED, PARTICULARLY THE CITIZENS INTERNATIONAL BANK, WHERE THE DECEASED HAD AN ACCOUNT VALUED AT ABOUT (US$14.8 MILLION) HAS ISSUED ME A NOTICE TO PROVIDE THE NEXT OF KIN OR HAVE THE ACCOUNT CONFISCATED WITHIN THE NEXT TEN WORKING DAYS.

SINCE I HAVE BEEN UNSUCCESSFUL IN LOCATING THE RELATIONS FOR OVER TWO YEARS, I SEEK YOUR CONSENT TO PRESENT YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN OF THE DECEASED SINCE YOU HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME SO THAT THE PROCEEDS OF THIS ACCOUNT VALUED AT ($14.8 MILLION US DOLLARS) CAN BE PAID TO YOU AND THEN, YOU AND I CAN SHARE THE MONEY. 50% FOR YOU AND 50% TO ME AND  ALL THE EXPENSES WILL BE SHARED EQUALLY.

ALL I REQUIRE OF YOU IS YOUR HONEST COOPERATION TO ENABLE US SEE THIS DEAL THROUGH. I GUARANTEE THAT THIS WILL BE EXECUTED UNDER A LEGITIMATE ARRANGEMENT THAT WILL PROTECT YOU AND I FROM ANY BREACH OF THE LAW. REPLY MAIL TO:

kunlewilliams@live.com

N.B

I SINCERELY RECOMMEND YOU SEND YOUR PHONE NUMBER WHEN RESPONDING TO ENABLE ME CALL AND GIVE YOU FURTHER EXPLANATION.

KINDEST REGARDS,

MR.KUNLE WILLIAMS.

Apart from all the caps, the letter is quite well structured, but that not withstanding it is full of shit, and yet it will undoubtedly fool more than one person into replying. Please, don’t even consider replying to this obvious piece of phishing crap, especially do not divulge your phone number because if you do you may succumb to the crooked tactic’s of the smooth tongued weasel on the other side.

One could only imagine how much better the world would be if everyone went out of their way to help others. Not only to help others but to do so without expecting anything in return. I’ve heard said that helping others is one of the most gratifying feelings that one could have and a sure fire way to obtaining true happiness. Happiness results because of the satisfaction one receives from helping others. I know this to be true because I have experienced this on more than one occasion.

Ever since moving to to the Thesis theme I have been far from happy with it, but have persevered because I paid good money for it and I wasn’t going to let it go to waste. I was so unhappy that I wrote a post comparing it to FlexSqueeze. One of it’s

greatest failings, apart from it’s lack of ease of use, was since the changeover I lost my smilies in the comment form, as well as the quicktags, something I had grown used to with my other blogs.

Anyway, the forums, which was supposed to be of great value, was of no use at all, and if it wasn’t for the help of Stefan Nilsson I would still be without my beloved smilies. I’m an avid reader of his blog and I’ve noticed that he is always willing to help others, as can be shown by his How to Create a Page Without Sidebars in Thesis post.

In appreciation of all his help in getting my smilies back I dedicate this post to him as a way of showing everyone that the world is not all about bullshit, and if we all went out of our way to help others, rather than trying to rip them off for personal gain, the world would be a much better place.

The current economic crisis is creating a lot of heartache for a lot of people. Debt is obviously a great burden in these times and what is causing many people a lot of stress is that they have multiple loans. Each loan comes with it’s own set of fees and some can have a hefty interest rate, especially credit card loans.

I have always believed that debt consolidation to be one of the best ways to minimize a persons debt, but it wasn’t until I read Christian Debt Consolidation that I realized that a lot of people do not understand what true debt consolidation is all about. I urge anyone considering debt consolidation to read that post so as not to get caught out by the many scam merchants out there who are nothing but parasites feeding on the misfortune of others.

You may also find this video of interest.

To me debt consolidation is the process of getting another loan that will pay out all other existing loans. This means rather than having several loans with varying interest rates and separate fees you will now have one loan. Naturally, you want to make sure that the new loan has the lowest interest rate possible. It’s also a good idea to take into consideration any exit fees that may be applicable with certain loans.

to be