What a Lucky Bastard

Levi Johnston is a lucky bastard

Paul — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 03:02:40 +0000

As originally reported at UnconfirmedSources.com, Levi Johnston must be a very lucky bastard. Who is that and Why you ask?

Well Levi Johnston is the shelp who got Sarah Palin’s teenage daughter Bristol pregnant. You know, the daughter of the current Alaska state governor and recently announced VP running mate to Presidential candidate John McCain. (CNN Story)

So why is he lucky? Well according to UnconfirmedSources.com…

1) Your future mother-in-law is a certified abstience counselor and you made her look pretty silly about 2 days after it had been announced she was running for VP and you’re still living…

2) Your future father-in-law Todd Palin is a champion “snow machine” racer / oil worker and commercial salmon fisherman who probably knows a thing or two about a) guns and b) places you could dump a body and never ever EVER find it and you’re still living….

3) The Alaskan State Troopers know how to handle rough men and definitely a no-name hockey player. After Sarah is sent packing back to Alaska in November, I’m guessing you might find yourself in some handcuffs in a back of a squad car. Hopefully you’re still living you lucky bastard…

Lucky Boar Hunter

Clay — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 03:02:29 +0000

Click here to view the embedded video.wild boar hunting

This guy is no doubt a lucky bastard. Why you might ask? Because he has friends that are great shots. If this lucky bastard didn’t have his friends nearby he would either be in the emergency room or the morgue. Check the video to see what I mean.

Lucky Bastard makes $3 million lottery mistake

Paul — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 15:43:38 +0000

Republished from UPI.com

Talk about a lucky bastard. A mistake in his usual lottery ticket numbers proved lucky for an Indiana man who won $3 million in the Hoosier Lottery.

When he realized he had gotten one number wrong, Bobby Guffey of Roaknoke returned to the Econoasis in Huntington and bought another ticket with the right numbers, the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette reported. That one was lucky too — winning him $1,000 for having five of six correct numbers.

“My wife says it pays to be blind,” Guffey said during a news conference Thursday at the Indiana State Fair.

The Guffeys took their winnings in a $1.2 million lump sum. Janice Guffey said she and her husband plan to continue working, although they will pay off their mortgage and take a cruise to Hawaii along with setting up trust funds for their children and grandchildren.

“Christmas will be a lot nicer,” she said.

Michael Phelps is a Lucky Bastard

Paul — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 15:38:24 +0000

There is no way to maintain the integrity of this website and not mention the name Michael Phelps. If you don’t know who Michael Phelps is well, you have either been living in a cave for the past week or have just returned from an alien abduction (if so, I’d like to discuss a feature story for this site). Anyhow, Michael Phelps is the lucky bastard swimmer from the United States who has just won 8 gold medals in a single Olympic game and now has 14 gold medals in his career. I know that this feat represents a lot of hard work and a unbelievable commitment to the sport but still…

Chris Chase from yahoo.com has written some remarkable facts about Phelps. I have updated Chris’s story as of Monday morning August 18.

1) If Michael Phelps were a country he would be tied with the entire country of RUSSIA for gold medal count.

2) In the overall medal count, he would be tied in 16th place with the country of Romania.

3) India, Pakistan, Nigeria, Egypt, Mexico and Bangladesh (appx. combined population = 2 billion) have earned a total of four Olympic medals in Beijing. Phelps (appx. population = 1) has eight.

Even Phelps himself has hinted that he might be a lucky bastard:

“Everything had to go perfect. Everything had to fall perfectly into place and I was able to have probably the best week of my life.”

There is no “probably” about it Michael. That was the best week of your life, you lucky bastard.

Guy with a Hot Wife

Paul — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 12:40:53 +0000

Tell me this guy isn’t a lucky bastard . Aaron and Marie Jarry, from Connecticut, won $5000 on Howard Stern’s “Hottest Wife, Ugliest Guy” competition held this past summer. I didn’t watch the episode but apparently according to The Smoking Gun, Marie was employed as a second grade schoolteacher. I say “was” because after their appearance on the controversial show, she was fired for violating the school’s “morality clause”. And to boot, she also might have to pay back the school the pay she took when calling in “sick”. Opps. So he may be a very lucky bastard, but apparently, she isn’t.

Almost hit by a car

Paul — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 05:22:42 +0000

I have a feeling that the guy featured in this video clip heard, “You are a very lucky bastard” from his friends quite a few times after this incident wouldn’t you say? He also probably hugged the tree a couple of times.

Click here to view the embedded video.

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Lucky bastard hits two holes-in-one

Paul — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 16:13:17 +0000

Some of us are lucky to get an ace once in our life. Ok, who am I kidding? I’d be lucky just to get a birdie once or twice. Well, don’t tell that to Barry, a 16 year old lucky-bastard-Brit, who this past week got not one, but two holes-in-one with his lucky number 7 club. Now, it wasn’t on the same day (that would be amazing) but it was within one week which is pretty good considering the fact that he has a 24 handicap and has only been playing golf for 4 years.

I never thought I would get a hole in one in my golfing career, let alone two in such a short space of time.

Yeah, rub it in will you?

The downside to getting two holes-in-one? According to Chris, “I had to buy a few drinks in the club-house as that is tradition, so it did cost me, but it was worth it.” Enjoy your drinks and your two holes-in-one you lucky bastard. It’s all downhere from here.

Police Officer struck by lightning is a lucky bastard

Paul — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 19:46:26 +0000

Meet Officer John Carpenter from Bethel, Pennsylvania. Officer Carpenter is a lucky bastard. John was at work on Wednesday July 23, hanging out at the firestation talking to the boys about some strong thunderstorms moving through the area. About that time, Officer Carpenter felt a jolt,which he said was, “worse than a Taser shot.”

Good call, John. Good call.

That jolt was a bolt of lightning that knocked him to the ground unconscious. It also apparently fried his radio and damaged the garage door that it hit. Well, at least he was in the right place and his friends rushed him to the hospital. The hospital checked him outand gave him the clean bill of health.

“I feel extremely lucky,” Carpenter said. “I’m going to go play the lottery.”

You should do that John, because you my friend, are a very lucky bastard.

John-Lee Augustyn is a lucky bastard

Paul — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 02:32:28 +0000

I don’t follow the Tour de France that much. Why not you ask? Well, because I’m not French. But a Tour De French cyclist, John-Lee Augustyn, is our first official lucky sports bastard. You see during the 16th stage of the Tour De France, John Lee was really focused on the pedaling aspect of the event and forgot about the fact that he was also in charge of the steering portion. This forgetfulness resulted in John Lee hurling himself off the road and down the side of a 164 foot “hill” (in the U.S. we call that a mountain). In John’s words:

Just before I went over the side, I thought: ‘Shit, I’m going to break something again and it’s going to be terrible

It wasn’t terrible. In fact, John-Lee ended up finishing only 5 minutes behind the leader and in 35th place which I guess after sailing off a mountain top isn’t so bad. He did need a new bike though. In his own words, “I was lucky enough to get away with no injuries.” Your right John-Lee, which is why you are our official first lucky sports bastard. Congratulations.

Is there a video of this? You bet. I wouldn’t have made this post without it. Enjoy it you lucky bastards.

Click here to view the embedded video.

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This bastard jumps his jeep

Clay — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:19:53 +0000

You know this bastard is lucky, because if it had been anyone else (and any less drunk) it would have turned out much differently.

*heads up, the camera guy gets pretty excited if you have any kids nearby…grab some earmuffs*

Click here to view the embedded video.

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