~ The Memories Remain ~

Adikku Sayang - 10 Malaikat

2017-04-04T10:09:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, zairil told me he learned about the Malaikah and he sing this nasyid. To tell the truth, i forgot most of the malaikat's name and their responsibilities. By listening to this song again, i recall the long lost memory. So we sing this nasyid together, and I let Zairil memorize.

Later, I found out that zarif can recite ayat kursi with a few hiccups, which amazed me because I memorize it when i was in standard six. Both of them know most short surah by now, alhamdulillah. I know most children nowadays can recite one juzuk and more, it's just that I'm comparing myself when I was a kid with my kids.

This morning, zarif's teacher told me zarif is the imam for solat yesterday. Hati sangat bunga2... it's because at home, hard to get zarif to pray actually. But when we solat together, sometimes he joined us and baca semuanyalah kuat2 till it kinda disturbed me a bit, susah nak concentrate dengan bacaan sendiri. tersasul2, nak betulkan bacaan zarif one thing, tapi tak boleh sebab tengah solat, pening kepala...

Another thing, zarif today cried his heart out at the front door of the school. I don't know, guess it's the school-holiday-withdrawal-syndrome. All this while, he's okay going to school. Another one year, then you can be with along in the same school okay. For now, we have to keep fighting!!!

LIFE

2017-03-29T16:59:00.001+08:00

Hp and I suddenly made plan to watch movie yesterday after my appointment... So I browse the website and told hp the selection when hp shows interest in this movie. It was a great movie and we both enjoyed it, we even waited till the very end of the credits.

The ending is a bit unexpected, though we should have guess it. Anyway, it's not the movie that I want to highlight, it's the time we spend together that really made my day yesterday despite of the earlier event that had happened.

Hopefully everything goes well and the result will tell us what is really going on. So next month, the result will be out and yeah... hope everything goes well...

Ninja Cookie

2017-03-27T10:30:00.001+08:00

The other night, Zarif and me watched Ben And Holly when this advertisement pop-up. Well, I thought this didn't interest Zarif, so I just skip the ads. Then of course Zarif cried a bucket asking for this video, so I asked him which one (I didn't pay attention to it, as I thought this is one of the grown-up commercial; non-kids related) He said "Video yang ninja cookie tu, nak watch video ninja cookie tadi" I'm like... hoih which one lah ni dik?!!! so I started to search any ninja cookie ads but to no luck, and Zarif kept crying for it.

Later, we found out that this is the one Zarif is looking for. Exactly what I'm going through and I can totally relate myself to this video; the frustration, the build-up anger, the amount of patience needed when my kids threw tantrums; it is exhausting. I felt all the energy for that day perished as the tantrum finally gave in.

There are days I felt like, I just wanted to bury myself underneath the comforter and lock myself in from facing my kids. I just can't take anymore fights, arguments, this and that from Zairil and Zarif, including thinking of sending them to Timbuktu boarding school (Parent Trap much?!!). Then again, they are growing up; this is part and parcel from them growing up. So patience and more patience I must! haish...if only patience can be bought, so that I could stuff it in my mouth when needed (10 kilos of those please!!!)

So for now, if Zarif want the ninja cookie video, this video it is... (hmmm... mamee monster biskidz, macam mana boleh jadi ninja cookie ni dik?!!)

FLY

2017-03-23T12:21:00.000+08:00

Their current over and over bed time stories, one of them is The Three Little Pigs. Zarif didn't know how to read yet, but he did memorized most of the parts in the book.

So Zairil love to build houses from the blocks, and one day I heard him talking to Zarif, '"When I build a house, I don't want to make a chimney because that way the wolf will come in" Then I told him "In Malaysia, we don't need chimney, it's hot here." I think that is what the chimneys are for, right? To make the house warm and fuzzy like that?

Anyway... they love me reading stories for them before sleep. Although there are time I didn't read them, due to misbehaving... I must say I do look forward to read to them too. So most of the night, Zairil and Zarif will pick a book and usually the same book, they lay down comfortably on the bed and I will read to them.

Zairil is seven now, I wonder how long will he want to listen to the stories? To eagerly asked for me to read to him? To lay by my side and listen to all of my words? I MUST READ TO THEM EVEN THOUGH I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT... so that I won't miss this moment when they are away from me one day... when they can live their own life... when ibu is no longer needed for most of the things... when they finally ready to leave the nest... when they are ready to FLY...

p/s: Zairil is getting better now, alhamdulillah... no more waterfall vomits, but the spots are still there. so get better Zairil. Zarif is chirpy as ever, tho there are times when naughtiness seems to be his shadow... be good adik, ibu's eyes are always on YOU!!!

Fight This

2017-03-14T08:57:00.002+08:00

So yesterday, we went to Klinik 1 Malaysia to check on Zairil and Zarif as well. The doctor there is very nice and I love her. She explained in details and in no rush although the clinic is about to be close. She's worried on Zairil condition and said he needed to do the blood test. She gave us the referral letter and said to do it at the hospital or KK.

Later, after we reached home, hp said to go to Klinik Idzham to do the test. So off they went ( I didn't go, only hp and the kids) When they come back, I was so disoriented (I fell asleep huhu) and saw Zairil is already looking better, alhamdulillah...

This morning, only did I know that upon reaching home, Zairil didn't take any medicine but recovering on his own. His body eventually fought off his fever, alhamdulillah. I can't express how relieve I am, how grateful I am... seeing Zairil throw up everything till he had nothing inside but his gut juice, how fragile he was, how miserable he was, but he complained nothing... Just grateful... just alhamdulillah, just syukur more than ever...

Well, he's not out of the wood yet, still the spots are coming out and of course he's itchy.Get well soon Zairil and Zarif too... we can fight this...

Waterfall

2017-03-13T09:46:00.000+08:00

Zairil kept vomiting like waterfall after the sport day. He even vomit during his game so he had to sit out the soccer and the run. Yesterday, saw some spots on his armpit... thus he had the chicken pox as well. This is the most heart breaking moment, seeing him puking his guts out and couldn't eat/drink anything. What ever come in, will come out in split second. Praying for zairil to get better, please be better zairil. you can fight this okay, ibu love you...

On the other note, it's zarif birthday today and he's expecting cake right away. hmmm, we get cake later okay baby (i love calling him baby,he's the baby for now) So happy birthday adik, you are officially five now, although like usual he wanted to be seven, because along is seven (he wanted to be the same as along)

Haishhh... bila anak tak sehat, semua pun macam dull, tak berseri tak berwarna. Hopefully everyone will get better... semoga semuanya dilindungi dalam rahmat Allah selalu, aaamiinnn...

Jinxed Me

2017-03-06T09:00:00.001+08:00

This morning, everyone woke up late except hp... he went out to sidai kain and came back to see all of us still asleep. So rush the kids to get ready and we are late to school. Last night, zairil keep waking up in the middle of the night; coughing and throwing up phlegm. Of course this morning both of them don't want to get up and go to school. Sorry kids, hope you're doing okay at school...

Speaking of that... zarif lately didn't want to go to school. He said he missed us so much at school and that's about it. Before this, when we went to fetch him from school, he cried his lungs out because he still don't want to go back home. Pening ini macam...

This morning, at the doorway, he hugged me and said he wanted to stay with grandma. The car engine was running, so while I go to turn off the engine, zarif followed me without his shoes on and he got in the car, refusing to leave. Tough cookie this one... All in all, I carried him all the way, up the stairs till the front of the school. Salam and hugs and kisses, then I made my way out. Still feel bad about this, but he needs to be in school, unless if he's sick, but he's not... so have to go right?

Hmmm... hope adik can cope with school. Learning is tough, so hang in there adik... nanti ibu buy you ice-cream okay.have fun at school...

Silent Tears

2017-03-03T09:29:00.002+08:00

So yesterday zarif's first day after being absent for a week from school. He seems okay, reported a few bit of other friends mischievous doing to him. Well, kids will be kids right... just let him know that he must be good no matter what others did to you, and always go to the teachers for anything....

And today... when I went up to pay the fees, after sending zarif to his class... he came to me at the office and started to cry silent tears... Hadoilah adik... haishhh... susah hati ibu macam ni adik...hmmm...

Kiss him a lil bit here and there... and promise him the things he wanted (cheap toys that easily break is the things that I don't approve buying) then, decided to bring zarif along to pay for zairil school fees. Zarif still crying and not wanting to go to school, it's a hard decision to make since his reason is that he misses us so much... also yesterday he slept late and had to wake up early this morning, hence the big fat tears...

After getting the receipt done, still zarif didn't want to go to school; also this is the first time zarif having this episode (the teachers mention this as well; "zarif tak macam ni selalunya, first time zarif nangis2 ni"). So I let him know that he will be going home early today and didn't have to stay at the daycare. So he's okay with it and now he's at school.

Phew... that's a long story today... and I really look forward for the weekend. Ibu miss you too adik, till then have fun at school

Peachy

2017-02-27T14:43:00.004+08:00

Bought Zairil the 24 coloured pencils last time, but only the peach colour is nearly gone. So I asked him, "why Along loves to use the peach colour so much? Is it your favourite colour?" And Zairil answered " I colour the skin for people using peach colour"

Never thought of that... hmmm... in Ibu's day Along... I used the brown/white colour for people. From now on, guess have to topup the peach colour, since that the most used colour by Zairil.

Recite

2017-02-24T09:32:00.000+08:00

Last night, zarif keep reciting a few doa's and later zairil recite some surah. I nearly burst to tears hearing him recite surah Al-Lahab beautifully. Then a few more short surah afterward. My boys are growing up =) Zarif too can read surah Al-Fatihah without hiccups, tho there are time zarif mixed up the ayat. Keep on reciting please, these are the best music to ibu's ears.

On the other note... zarif's spot keep on growing and he keep on scratching. Got infos from the WA group, there are few more students who also got the pox. So yeah... hmmm... Ibu love you, get better okay...

Spots

2017-02-23T11:14:00.001+08:00

... yesterday, after they pick me up, zarif asked for oranges and Oreo too. So, we stopped by the speedmart and bought those, also some other titbits zairil zarif asked along the way.

... today, I saw two spots on zarif's face and one got burst when zarif scratch it. Later, more spots were seen when I helped him showered. So today, no school for zarif (he's so delighted!!!) and maybe onwards till the spots are gone.

Guess zarif got the pox, hp will bring him to clinic later. Tomorrow, zarif had to miss out the birthday party held at school then. Of course, that's something he's not going to be delighted about.

Get better soon zarif!!!

Arrived

2017-02-22T10:10:00.002+08:00

... my parcel had finally reached its destination, but unfortunately had to be collected at Batu Caves pos laju centre; due to unsuccessful delivery. Didn't get the collect card, but thankfully I've been tracking the parcel itself, so when it didn't come when it's suppose to come, then I knewlah...

So it's been 3rd week and I guess I must give it time to do its wonder. Of course I do feel the difference. The after effect as early as the 2nd day, but there are times i wonder, does it really work or just the placebo effect. Anyway, I hope for no side effect; as it is stated over many times that it has no harmful substances.

p/s: to be or feel beautiful... woman...

Waiting

2017-02-01T12:37:00.003+08:00

... for my parcel to arrive. i should get it by today. hopefully i get it today, or tomorrow is still okay. just want to start it by today to see the different. well, it's okay i can wait. just you know... really looking forward for it, hence this post...

p/s... zairil starts his lesson today. ibu knows it's going to be tough, but we'll get the hang of it. you can do it zairil!!! aja aja fighting!

Caught...

2017-01-31T14:16:00.000+08:00

... the cough and the cold... zairil is coughing so bad at night. last week it was zarif, till he gets antibiotic; only then zarif recovered. how i wish it was me who get the bugs and not the kids. get better zairil, and zarif too stay better.

Gaining Back

2017-01-24T11:01:00.001+08:00

... the lost kilos... every movements felt heavy due to the excess weight. i know i can get it off again, but now going through some turbulence and changes, made me want to eat more than ever. such emotional eater i am. hmmm... well, being fluffy (zairil's term for fat) is great what?!! hahah... haishhh who am i kidding. fluffy means getting any jobs done is slightly tougher, due to the M (do know what i mean) so yeah, gain it all back. now time to loose it all again...

p/s: Also gain back the things that went missing, alhamdulillah. thanks kids for making ibu not pening anymore, just be extra careful with your belongings okay zairil, zarif. ibu trust both of you, and love you both mucho...

Lost

2017-01-19T11:55:00.003+08:00

Of course there are things that are expected to be missing along the way. Water bottle, pencil colors and a pair of sock up to this date. They know how upset I get for missing things, and I know they tried very hard to care for their belongings. If the things are found again, I'm glad. If not, let gone be bygone...

p/s: partially morning-off this morning... I'm hungry, what's for lunch?

Morning-Off Playing Mommy

2017-01-18T10:29:00.001+08:00

So this morning, i let hp did all the preparation for zairil and zarif to school. Not easy as it look, isn't it? I just sat on the couch, doodling my phone while hp took care of the kids. It was one of the best mornings i have ever had (insert biggest smiley face) Just to let hp knows the behind-the-room-scene from waking the kids up till they get dressed and ready to have their breakfast outside. Hmmm...will tomorrow morning I get another morning-off again? Let's see, anyways... top of the morning to everyone, have a lovely day ahead!!!

What Dreams Are Made Of

2014-09-13T09:32:00.001+08:00

It's been really long since last watched Lizzie McGuire; the TV show. Did a little Google and found out that the final episode is dated on February14, 2004. So it has been 10 years since the show is aired. That long ago? Really? this is one of the show that i watched after every one isin bed, since it is showed past midnight and it is on the channel 615.

Where the time flew? Nope, don't answer that. When the memories starting to flood in, that's how I knew where the time really flew. So this is what dreams are made of =)

Sharing Is Caring

2014-02-01T02:54:00.000+08:00

Loves to see that zairil can compromise and share his foods with his brother. Thank you zairil for being kind to adik =)

Always thoughtful to suap adik first before him

The Little Lil One

2014-01-30T02:41:00.000+08:00

This is zarif, my little angel. He can be very vocal and totally loud, but I love him no matter what. Zarif, be nice to your ibu please...

Doing his thing

Mari Mengaji

2014-01-29T02:24:00.000+08:00

Currently been teaching zairil to mengaji the muqaddam. A lot of obstacles in the way obviously, but zairil diligently tried to read as best as possible. Hopefully zairil will master his reading muqaddam soon enough. Way to go zairil =)

Adik tried to be in the video too

Not forgetting the breaks-in-between too

Where to begin?

2014-01-28T02:00:00.000+08:00

Whenever I had to share something, or whenever I feel needed to talk to someone, the one that will lend me her ears is my net; my little sister of mine. Ever since we shared our room together, we will talk for hours every night, well mostly I will do the talking while I think she just doze off to sleep. There are many stories that we shared together; my hopes and dreams, my ups and downs, every time when I need to talk to someone, she will always there for me.

She is the second person that I break the news that I'm pregnant (both pregnancies) and the one that I tell when I'm in labor room. She is always this one person that could make me feel easy to talk to. Not forgetting how generous she is, buying things for her nephews too.

All i can say is, how much i missed the time we shared together in one room. Be it at gombak, at putrajaya or kakin punya bilik dekat uniten. Thank you for being a wonderful sister to me. I wish you all the happiness in the world and may Allah grant kak lin dengan fahmi with beautiful children and blessing always. Love you to bit net

My Little Helper

2014-01-27T01:29:00.000+08:00

I'm glad zairil loves to help me around the house. When we enter the house, he will put his shoe in the shoe box, he will clean up the toys which adik yang sepahkan, he will help sidai kain too and he will always eager to help around the house. I'm such a lucky mother, alhamdulillah. Thank you zairil for being such an amazing son.

By the way, zarif pun wants to pitch in, but he's too young. Takut nak bagi zarif hidangkan jugak, but he did great nonetheless. No spill what so ever, perhaps a little more trust in zarif would be nice, ain.

Build It

2014-01-26T00:37:00.000+08:00

Zairil and his tree house

Behind the scene

2014-01-26T00:29:00.001+08:00

How can I not turn to be a Godzilla when this little one always causes a mayhem when they are playing together? Allah, give me patient and strength to endure this journey of motherhood