This eating plan has also encouraged me to go organic in everything I can, so I splurged and got the organic avocados…actually I sent The Hub. I would have wavered by the 10 for $10 sign posted for the “regular” avocados for too long, and he just gets what’s on the list. Go Aspies!

Well Oh.My.Goodness it was the Best.Move.Ever.

• They were bigger. Which surprised me because organic apples are tiny compared to some of those monster apples at the store. But the larger size made me feel better about spending 3x as much – almost guilty even because organic ended up being all around the better deal.
• Believe it or not, they don’t get overripe as fast either. That was also contrary to my previous belief about organic.(Organic bananas last longer too if you cut them at the stem and not break them off at the bunch’s “hub.” fyi).
• They weren’t as bruised on the inside. Or even at all! Fortunately for me, bruises are just as yummy, but definitely an eye-sore.
• They taste so much better. Just more flavor. It wasn’t necessarily sweeter, but richer, creamier, and more avocado-ier.
• They have a much firmer consistency. “Regular” avocados I could only scoop the flesh out with a spoon. I never understood how to dice avocado because they were always so mushy – which was fine for guacamole.

I do believe that all avocados are Super Foods. But I have definitely been won over by organic. I keep them in a brown paper bag until they turn black and “give” in to a gentle squeeze. I like the outside to be black (no green skin allowed – I also do not like green bananas – so if you like green bananas, you might like green avocados) before I cut into them. Unfortunately, this gives them time to get overripe, bruised, and mushy. But this hasn’t been a problem with the organic variety.

Why does organic make a difference?

My belief – which is swayed by reading Michael Pollan and about Joel Salatin – is that organic produce is not hindered by chemical pesticides. Because they have to fend for themselves, they are bigger and better for us naturally. They don’t become “lazy” or “wimpy” foods, but they develop their own immune system (such as thicker skin to prevent bruising or keep pests out) to survive instead of relying on man to do it for them. So they become Superior Foods! (Organic meats on God-intended organic diets in God-intended environments follow this same concept. But that’s probably another blog post for a different time.) Furthermore, the nutrients they develop to fight off diseases are passed on to us – the consumer – and their nutrients help us to fight off diseases too. Thank you, organic super foods! You truly are Superior Foods in my book!

A friend told me to put them into the fridge to stop the ripening process, so that’s what I did and yes, it worked! The avocado pictured below was bag-ripened for about 2 days and then refrigerated for about a week.

Isn’t it beautiful?

I used a regular knife to halve it, but spoons don’t work so well to scoop out the flesh since it is more firm. I’ve heard of avocado knives before, but found a very functional substitute – the butter knife! It slices them thin and gently “scoops” them out without disturbing the rest of the fruit!

Here I layered the slices atop a quinoa cracker and topped with some fresh alfala sprouts – direct from the sprouter. I think the sprouts needed a little more sun – they weren’t too green.

The only thing that would have made this snack more perfect would have been some tomatoes…

Related posts:

1. about Food: recipes can be sugar-free, gluten-free, dairy-free AND incredibly yummy
2. about Mug Cakes: trying to discover the perfect single serving delight
3. about Mug Cakes: a little variation and flavors, please

Please refer to my previous post for the Basic Millet Mug Cake recipe.

The Hub wanted in on the mug cake action and since he isn’t on the same diet yet, I made his a little indulgent.

Stage 3: Chocolate Mug Cake

Simply add 1 Tablespoon of unsweetened cocoa (or cacao) to the basic recipe. And follow the rest of the directions.

This is Stage 3 because of the caffeine in the cocoa. For The Hub, I did substitute 1 Tablespoon Grade B Maple Syrup instead of stevia. He seemed quite happy with the results. That would be “Stage 4″ though. Ahem. I know. There is no Stage 4.

Stage 2: Spice Mug Cake

I mixed the following spices in a tiny tupperware container to make sure I had the right ratio.

1 tsp ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp ground cloves

1/4 tsp ground nutmeg

1/4 tsp ground ginger

Then I added 1/4 tsp of the mixture to the basic recipe. I think I could have added 1/2 tsp though.

Additional Mix-ins and Toppings:

I’ve had success with these thus far. Try one or more of the following:

• 1 tsp of finely shredded coconut, unsweetened
• chopped walnuts (or almonds or pecans) – I mixed these in and I think it made the cake a little lop-sided, BUT it did not affect the taste. I think I will chop them finer next time.
• 1/2 tsp of whole flaxseed – Be sure to chew these up to get the omega goodness out of them. I recommend sprinkling these on top either immediately before you cook it, or immediately after it is finished cooking.

Update: Spice Mug Cake Results

Before nuking it. I also added a little bit of coconut and some chopped walnuts.

Right after “baking.” We tried to get a picture of it rising above the mug inside the microwave, but failed.

Light, moist, and fluffy texture!

WARNING! Non-egg replacers result in a dense, tacky, oatmeal-like texture. Bleh! I do not recommend!

Future experiments may include pumpkin or zucchini. Any other suggestions?

Still trying to find a bread-like cake for sandwiches, but no such luck. I ended up going to the store and picking up a box of Quinoa crackers and a box of Buckwheat crackers. They are pretty big and wafer-like, so it was sort of like toast.

Related posts:

1. about Mug Cakes: trying to discover the perfect single serving delight
2. about Food: recipes can be sugar-free, gluten-free, dairy-free AND incredibly yummy
3. about Avocado: it’s a Superior Food when it’s organic

And I remembered to take a picture of it before I ate it all! BONUS!

Q: What is a mug cake, you say?

A: It’s a single serving delight that’s ready in two and a half minutes, right out of your microwave!

I’ve been doing a little bit of experimenting in the kitchen to find a “candida-approved” recipe for a mug cake. That means no chocolate (big bummer), no sweeteners except for stevia, and no dairy, corn, soy, or white rice products. That’s quite a challenge! Since I can’t really have icing on my cake, I was really aiming to find something more of a bread or muffin that I could make a (mini) sandwich of some sort. In this process I’ve discovered some tasty treats and some not so tasty treats.

First, the issues revolved around the dry-to-wet ingredients ratio. I had one come right out of the microwave tasting just like french toast! Not bad if you asked me, but missed the target a bit. CAKE not FRITTATA.

That brought up the egg vs. flax/water substitute debate. Do you know this handy formula?

1 egg = 1 tablespoon flaxseeds + 3 tablespoons water

Only in consistency in baked goods (not in looks). I rrrrrrrrrr-ed it up in my trusty Magic Bullet and spooned it in. It did a pretty good job, BUT the dry-to-wet ratio had not yet been resolved so it was a little on the small side where the center had caved in.

Then it was balancing the sweet/bitter taste that comes with working with stevia. I think it’s something I’m just going to have to deal with. I did add a pinch of celtic sea salt in the recipe below to maybe balance it out and it did the trick. I also stirred all the dry ingredients together in a separate bowl first.

Now it was which flour(s) to use in combination or alone. I have tried these so far:

• coconut flour
• coconut/quinoa flour
• a coconut/quinoa/flax toasted blend that The Hub accidently created when attempting to make crackers, but was so yummy that I begged him not to throw it out. Has a nutty favor like peanut butter which is awesome because peanuts are not “candida-approved.” I have lovingly dubbed it “The Hub’s Nutty Mistake”
• millet flour (ding! ding! ding! We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen!)

Amazon delivered this golden package today and I tore right into it. The Hub purchased it to experiment with pizza crust recipes and I thought why not in mug cake too? I sent him a text message asking him “What is a Millet?” A quick google search and I basically deduced that it is birdseed…..um. ok. BUT this recipe is NOT for the birds!

This is a very basic recipe. Feel free to top with whatever floats your boat! Here I simply topped it with The Hub’s Nutty Mistake. A Stage 3 variation could include a berry topping.  Mmmmm that sounds awesome! Along with a dollop of coconut whipped cream…yes, please!

Stage 2: Basic Millet Mug Cake

1 Tbsp coconut oil, melted

1/4 cup millet flour

1/2 tsp baking powder
(technically not approved, so measure a little less using baking soda instead, if you’re being hard-core. I’ve also left it out completely)

1/4 cup water

1 packet of stevia*

1 pinch of celtic sea salt

Place coconut oil in a LARGE mug (or bowl as in picture). No dainty tea cups allowed. Melt it in the microwave in 10 second intervals, swirling it around to coat the sides well. In a separate bowl, mix all the dry ingredients well (this reduces stevia lumps – yuck!). Add dry ingredients to the mug, add water and egg and mix well with fork. You have to work fast here because the coolness of the egg will make the coconut oil want to solidify.  Place in the microwave for 2 minutes and 30 seconds. It WILL rise above the mug but it will not spill over. It’s cool to watch though – at a safe distance, that is.

*If you want to try this recipe and you’re NOT on the candida diet, simply substitute the stevia for a Tablespoon of raw honey, maple syrup, agave nectar, or sweetener of your choice.

Enjoy!

Related posts:

1. about Mug Cakes: a little variation and flavors, please
2. about Food: recipes can be sugar-free, gluten-free, dairy-free AND incredibly yummy
3. about Avocado: it’s a Superior Food when it’s organic

So I’m on this crazy diet food plan that limits most yummy things I crave. I was already fasting meat and dairy for Lent so I thought last week I’d start the “candida” diet while I was already feeling deprived. It sort of broke up the monotony of the misery.

Stage 1 is all raw low-carb veggies. That’s it. Got very boring. Even though most spices are approved, I lasted about 4 days (as opposed to 1-2 weeks, yep I’m a wuss). The best part of Stage 1 was breaking my sugar cravings in those first 3 days. It’s a miserable withdrawal process (read: migraines and intense cravings for all things starchy and sweet) and I’m glad that it’s over. By the 4th day, I was confident to enter the kitchen without eating everything in it, and I had more energy – but I wanted to cook (before I turned into a rabbit). To my credit, I still stuck with only veggies for the rest of the week.

This week I started Stage 2 which allows very specific nuts, grains, meats, and fish (still poo-poos sugars of all forms, including fruit, except stevia). I’m still trying to eat raw veggies once a day for a snack, but am very happy about having more options!! I’m supposed to stay at this stage for as long as I want. I have some specific skin problems that I’ve chosen as my indicator to stay in this stage. When it has become manageable, I’ll probably move on to stage 3. By Stage 3, it mostly follows a “paleo” diet, still limiting fruits to apples and berries. If you google “candida diet,” you will see varying lists of approved foods and those to avoid. I’ve just been using my gut instinct (no pun intended) rather than adopting one particular site’s philosophy, but my starting point was here.

Some of my favorite concoctions thus far I’ve included here:

Stage 1: Cauliflower with Avocado Dip

This dip was adapted from my original childhood favorite palate pleaser! Very simple.

1 avocado

coconut milk, unsweetened

stevia or sea salt, to taste (optional)

Raw cauliflower florets

Scoop avocado flesh into a small bowl and mash with a fork. Add coconut milk little by little, and mix until smooth (some chunks are ok and a yummy surprise). Add stevia if you like it sweet, or add sea salt if you like it salty. Dip cauliflower and enjoy this yummy snack!

Stage 2: Sardine Yellow Curry over Brown Rice

Updated on 4/11/12: added picture of the curry. This time I used 2/3 cup coconut milk and added two stalks each of kale and swiss chard. Then topped with sesame seeds!

Another dish I made up as I went as I pulled stuff off the shelf. This was quick and delish! This was also the first time I’d ever eaten sardines before. With the limited list of approved fish, I had to double-dog-dare myself to buy some. They are quite yummy and not too fishy. Reminds me a little of canned tuna (not fresh tuna). I wasn’t brave enough to try it straight out of the tin, so I decided to make it in a curry which makes EVERYTHING taste amazing. Turned out to compliment the dish well, but the kale I think is what stole the show here.

1 Tbsp yellow curry paste

1 Tbsp coconut oil (my new obsession!)

2-3 cloves garlic, minced

1 onion, largely diced

1/2 zucchini, julienned

1/2 yellow squash, julienned

1 tin of sardines in water, drained

1/2 cup coconut milk, unsweetened

3 stalks of kale, chopped

cooked brown rice

Stir-fry curry paste in coconut oil in a wok on Med high. Add garlic and onions and stir-fry until just starting to get translucent. Add both squashes and stir-fry just until tender. Add sardines, breaking them up in the wok and mixing well with veggies. Add coconut milk and stir until curry is dissolved. Reduce heat and add kale. Mix well. Remove from heat when kale starts to get wilty. Serve over brown rice.

I’m in mourning because I just ate the last bowl. =o(

As I find post-worthy recipes, I’ll share my discoveries. And hopefully I’ll take pictures before I eat all of it! Do you have any recipes to share with me?

Related posts:

1. about Mug Cakes: trying to discover the perfect single serving delight
2. about Mug Cakes: a little variation and flavors, please
3. about Avocado: it’s a Superior Food when it’s organic

All my life I have had allergies. Every single person in my immediate and childhood family suffers from allergies. I have avoided shots like the plague not needed to be subjected to shots, but I have always stocked my medicine cabinet with a good variety of antihistamines: oral, topical, eye-drops, non-drowsy, PM, extended release, fast-acting, OTC, and prescription. I noticed that about 6 or 7 years ago my allergy symptoms went way down – to the point that I was only taking medicine when necessary to calm a flare up or when I knew I was going to a house with a cat. My allergies had become so manageable that I was able to prevent an attack the moment I felt a tickle just by leaving the premises. There were a couple of explanations I came up with for this: a safer non-chemical cleaning product overhaul in our household in 2004 and saying goodbye to my 4th and final pet ferret in 2002 were most likely the 2 largest influences. (In hindsight, I probably could add to that the end of my commute when The Elder was born in 2003, which was primarily public transportation and all the fresh air that goes along with that.)

I have a stuffy nose and my face is about to fall off…what shall I do?

This is the first time I attempted to battle allergies with absolutely no medications (update: March 20th was my 1 year medication-free anniversary!) and frankly I was not optimistic. To make sure I wasn’t self-cross-pollinating my allergies, I was particularly OCD about washing my hands and avoiding rubbing my eyes and nose. And even after a salt wash, I still could.not.breathe. Misery.

Enter: Reflexology

reflexology

1. a system of massaging specific areas of the foot or sometimes the hand in order to promote healing, relieve stress, etc., in other parts of the body.
2. Med. the study of reflex movements and processes.

There are four accupressure points that I have memorized since I was young to help me in times when I need relief when I don’t have any medicinal remedies handy, or as my case is now avoiding medications. These are for foot or leg cramps (lip), headaches (thumbpit - yeah I just made that word up), nausea or motion sickness (wrist), and sinus pressure (toes). It is the latter that saved the day.

According to this chart, I got a little Brain action too!!

For what it’s worth, the fingertips work too, but I get faster results on my toes and even faster results when The Hub does my toes. This trick is handy when kids are stuffy too. I play “This little piggy went to market” with them. Sometimes I pinch their toes while they are asleep. You can actually hear their breathing improve!

Try it and let me know if it works for you!

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The past was playing in my head reruns of my last encounter and I was suffocating at the thought of stepping foot back there. Could it have really been 2 years ago? On this day, it felt like yesterday.

The Elder had just randomly announced in the car that the “3rd Grade Founder’s Program was not this Tuesday but the next Tuesday after that and I.AM.NOT.PERFORMING.”

Flashback:
“This is optional but performance is required in the 3rd grade for his final grades.” I remember feeling immediate relief 2 years ago upon hearing this, and then a distant dread that I will eventually have to face this and prep him for it. So what did I do that fateful day in the 1st grade? I made his attendance required but his performance optional. It was a good and responsible plan, so I thought. I had arranged for assigned seats up front where he could see the performance but have a quick and easy escape without mowing down rows of people. We even had special “Reserved For” signs that I thought would distract him to see his name in print make him feel special. Waiting in the hallway that led to the cafeteria just outside the gym was pretty painless because he saw some of his classmates, and I saw some parents for socializing opportunities. Things were going well so far…

I am blissfully unaware at how this task had eluded me for 2 years. Normally I’d drop subtle hints to him along the way to prepare him for expectations. I couldn’t be too dramatic so as not to scare him off, especially since I personally love to perform – from birth I think. (I’m pretty sure I came out of the womb saying, “Ta da!”) But I had completely procrastinated until the last 10 days. Who AM I anymore? Was there a 2nd grade performance that we skipped? I couldn’t remember. Wasn’t there an announcement about this year’s performance? I blocked it out, I guess. I should check my spam box. Maybe it’s not my avoiding pain and humiliation but my avoiding requiring him to put value into something in which he does not value as much as I do – the performing arts. That sounds more noble and all, but truth is I am tired. I am anxious. I am self-conscious. I am desperate to go to a performance to be entertained. I mean, who wants to go to a gym that holds 515 (according to The Elder’s statistics in his head) noisy, hot bodies that I have to navigate through to chase my kid or protect them from flying shoes. No one. We go to shows to be entertained not to be in battle. Two very different kinds of drama here. One I enjoy, the other not so much.

Flashback:
What I personally was not prepared for, thus did not prepare The Elder, was the massive crowd of people that would be there 30 minutes early. We usually try to arrive places before any crowd does for transitional purposes, but I forgot that the number of 1st grade students here was probably equivalent to the total number of students that attended my entire high school at the time I graduated. (Flashbackback: I can recall when I was in the 2nd grade performing in the school play of The Wizard of Oz, we were in the elementary school cafeteria, T-I-N-Y.) I definitely didn’t expect the gym to be full, much less THAT large and full.

“But isn’t this performance for a grade this year?” He’s finally making good grades this year since his behavior has gotten under control (love love love his paraprofessionals) so this actually has an impact for the first time.

“I.WILL.NOT.SING.”

“You don’t have to sing. Think you can just stand there?” Did I seriously forget in 2 short years just how many people can pack into that gym. Of course the entire mass had been sitting away from us, but I was keenly aware of them. And if they affected me, they’d affect him ten times as much. I prepared to give in to his demands…

“Fine. But I’m standing behind the tallest person.”

Shock. That was way more than I expected. WAY more. I immediately petitioned for some help from his teachers on how to keep him calm and boost his confidence. I even suggested the guidance counselor. Supportive responses came back to me with various options, from choosing which tall kid’s back he could stare at to production stagehand jobs he could handle. We finally settled on passing out programs (with me).

Flashback:
I had just taken a program from the door greeter and entered the gym. From behind me, a black-brown shoe was launched into the back of the elderly person diagonally in front of me. I was mortified as I recognized the shoe. Another one landed in an open yellow area on the gym floor as if to caution me, and then I saw him go to pick it up to launch it again. I grabbed him and clumsily pushed through the crowd – former friends, I’m sure – out of the gym and retreated to the far corner of the cafeteria where The Elder pushed me off of him to go cohabitate with the dust bunnies and God-knows-what between the corner and the cabinets. It had happened so fast. I had no idea where my husband (and 4 year old) were. In reserved seats, I assumed. Did he have his ringer on? Did he know what happened? How many people were hit before I witnessed the grandpa’s discomfort? Did I apologize? How many people are judging him? Judging me? Oh my, where are his shoes?

I was a time-bomb ticking with anticipation.

The Elder’s behavior was stable at school, but was erratic at home and church for those 10 days.

I tried not to connect the two, but if the shoe fits…. (pun intended)

The stress culminated into a bloody mess on the day before showtime. I got a call at 8:30am from the school. The Elder was suffering from nosebleeds that they could not stop – a sure sign of stress. I picked him up from school, followed our normal “sick” protocol of no TV, computer, or video games and only Chicken Soup – just to reinforce that early dismissal is not a free ride. He took a nap, which I’m sure he sorely needed with the daylight savings time change, and then he beat the tar out of me in Monopoly. Probably just the respite he needed.

Flashback:
The performance sounded wonderful from the corner of the now-empty cafeteria. The principal walked through and gave us a hearty wave. Bless her. The Elder was walking around and around and around and around the table. Sometimes he stopped when he recognized a song. And then continued his solo performance around the table. It could have been worse…right?

We arrived 50 minutes early this time. In plenty of time for us to get prime parking him to pick out a prime seat (we didn’t have reserved seats this time) and to touch every square inch of the risers. He was running all over the set very comfortably, getting familiar with the various views from the risers, memorizing where cables haphazardly lined the floors so he didn’t fall on his face, picking out all his favorite vendors from the banners on the wall (Menchie’s, for one). I ran into his homeroom teacher and we headed off to our “assignment.”

“It’s time for you to help me with the programs!” I didn’t have to chase him too too much. I emphatically said that I was not going to chase him around this gym any more, and he hid behind some decorations.

It didn’t happen. He didn’t perform behind the tallest person. He didn’t pass out programs. He did at least eventually go get a program for himself from a door greeter. I hope that counts toward his grade.

He didn’t remove his shoes, and most importantly, he didn’t hurt anyone. Well, my legs were sore from being a human “squeeze machine.” (He sat on the floor between my legs and I secured him Temple-Grandin-squeeze-machine style.)

The best part of all? His teacher assured me that his participation wasn’t a big deal, she just wanted the family to enjoy the show. And we did. (The Elder through the lenses of the camera – great calming trick, btw) That very same teacher walked away that night with some sort of “Greatest Teacher on Planet Earth” award. Very well deserved.

So…how shall I prepare for next year?

Related posts:

1. Update on the school front…
2. First Day Back to School
3. 2nd Day of School

If you never read any more of this blog post of mine, you MUST, without fail, follow this link and read Glennon’s blog post.

I’m glad I took the kairos time (that will make more sense if you’ve read her post) to read this raw and beautifully written article. I think all parents should read it, but especially the parents of special needs children. Its message, I believe, goes further to affirm us as we face the very different challenges on a daily basis.

I get caught up in the guilt of not “enjoying every moment of their childhood before it’s too late.” I can’t honestly say I loooove parenting. It’s not my gift. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But it is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I do loooove being a parent, or as Glennon says “having parented.” I have an influence on them, not just as their parent, but the one and only role of being their mother. I’m way far from perfect, but at the end of the day, I’m learning to pat myself on the back for getting though another day – for finding the one (it’s usually more than one but I like to set myself up for success) instance of hope, glimmer of beauty, evidence that something I tried to pass on actually did, proof that some therapy I paid for was worth its investment.

It reminds me of my favorite clip from the movie “The Back-up Plan.”

You know, when I really think about it though, I’m actually very lucky because statistically, I feel like I have more opportunities to seize moments of hope and beauty. On those days that I’m up to my eyeballs in tantrums, strewn legos, and broken computer peripherals and I look at the clock and it’s only 8:30 in the morning, I need that moment when I hear the distant, unprompted toilet flush. I don’t know if that makes sense or not. Maybe a story would help illustrate.

Today, we took The Skipper Dog to the vet. It was quite an intense appointment (about a different kind of seizing ), so both me and The Hub went and of course had to bring the kids. We left them in the lobby with the directions that they were in charge of only themselves, to make sure they made themselves make good choices. About after 15 minutes of being back with the vet, I heard The Elder screaming in the lobby. I went out there and he was sitting criss cross applesauce on the bench screaming:

E: “Y is touching me!”
M: (to The Younger) “Don’t touch him.”
Y: “But I want to sit here.”
M: (to The Elder) “Choose a different place to sit”
E: “But that place has a scary thing, and that place is too close to the vent, and that place is touching that plant, and that place is near the magazines.”

The Younger couldn’t really top that so (with maternal encouragement) he moved to a chair on the other side of the lobby. I was able to return to the patient room without missing too much of the vet’s testing-results spiel.

Let’s list the obvious triumphs. (triumphs that I must say make me one proud mama!)

• I was comfortable leaving them both in the lobby (not without my super sonic ears open to eavesdrop on their every word)
• The appointment was nearly an hour long and I only had to intervene once.
• There was 15 minutes before the onset of the intervention.
• The intervention was pretty painless and straightforward.

Now the not-so-obvious triumphs.

• The Elder was sitting on the bench – and criss cross applesauce to boot. (This would be opposed to wallowing in the floor or running outside in the parking lot)
• He verbally expressed his case of why he should be allowed to remain where he was seated. (as opposed to physically expressing his case with his fist or teeth or saliva)
• The Younger complied on first request (not without whining, but without any oppositional defiance)

Finally the triumphs that could easily slip away if I wasn’t intentionally seizing them.

• The Elder had all of his clothes on, including his shoes.
• Both kids were wearing their glasses at all times.

Therefore in a single event, I’m able to seize greater than 100% more triumphant moments! Sometimes all I can walk away with is the fact that “Both kids were wearing their glasses at all times,” and sometimes I can’t even claim that moment and must settle for “We found their glasses before we left, flung atop the the silk tree in the lobby, and eventually repaired them, at no additional cost.” Maybe I’m crazy, but that makes me feel lucky!

No related posts.

The Elder’s massive spoonfuls of grub being shoveled into his mouth at a high velocity rarely reaches the goal of getting food into his mouth as much as spilling it all over the table, chair, and floor. (Thank goodness we are at the point I can omit “walls” from that list!) I think his reasoning is “the faster I eat the sooner I can be done with this miserable task.” In this particular scenario I could probably tack on “and check out what’s happening on the computer.”

Those who have known him since birth know that motor skills and sensory defensiveness have not allowed him (or others in his vicinity) to enjoy how wonderful the experience of feedings can be. When it comes to meals that require utensils (mashed potatoes for some reason doesn’t fall under this category), he is actually a slow eater. He just stuffs it all in his cheeks like a chipmunk as fast as he can and then slowly swallows his food. It appears to be tactile foods like oatmeal or rice and boneless meat of the day (again I ponder why mashed potatoes aren’t on this list). Medicine also makes the cut to be swallowed slowly. Blech! It takes him so long to swallow a teaspoon of tylenol regardless of what flavor it is. But I digress…

I hope today is a turning point for this dilemma that has plagued our dinner table for years. I pray that we will have family dinners in the future of all of us sitting and eating together instead of one of us constantly asking if he can be excused before we’ve even started eating – or even have made it to the table!

As I watched that mountain of rice topple over (thank goodness back into his bowl!), The Ever Elusive Brilliance surfaced…

Brilliant Life Skill of the Day:
“If the food doesn’t fit in the spoon, then the bite is too big.”

I really wish I thought of this sooner. So simple. As soon as this logical explanation left my lips, I could see him reprogramming his brain and he began to process how much food was actually on his spoon. He not only slowed down to mentally calculate the food to spoon ratio, but he also significantly reduced the probability of speaking with his mouth full and we actually had a small conversation about Amazon.com.

We have also employed a number of other “tricks” to reduced the stress of mealtimes – a big one being “keeping them seated” since without that they were just grazers and “meals” were a fleeting concept. What trials have you encountered and how have you resolved them?

Related posts:

1. Reclaiming Control
2. The Aftermath – False Evidence
3. What’s all the talk?

It all began when I decided to “spring clean” our dishwasher. The door panel had stains (I’m hoping from coffee and tea) and crusties (displaced rice and grits, I pray) and really gross floaties swum around the bottom (don’t really wanna guess). I was able to do a really great job of scrubbing and making it shine and glisten… until I got to the floaties.  I delegated that to The Hub as I suspected that the standing water was probably a sign of a clog and I wasn’t quite brave enough to venture there. It’s not as much OCD or germ-a-phobia than it is a tactile aversion. I was wearing heavy duty gloves but there are some tasks where only the imagination suffices to make me avoid it. In the meantime, I was not onboard with putting another dish in it for its intended use, not convinced it could fulfill its purpose. I’m sure I would’ve had nightmares about dishwasher floaties coming after me every evening until The Hub remedied the issue.

No dishwasher?!? Oh no! Not sure which nightmare was worse…

I reminded myself that washing dishes by hand is not a big deal. The Brothers and I had spent most of the summer at the beach in a small condo that had a dishwasher, but with just the three of us, we used so little dishes that it rarely got filled up to justify running it. It was actually more irritating to try to fill it up than it was to just go ahead and wash them. Besides, when I was growing up, my mom only used our dishwasher to blanch ears of corn. Washing the dishes by hand was just something that we did, often together. And when The Hub and I first got married and moved into our first apartment, we stored our plastic shopping bags in our dishwasher. I remember actually baking his birthday cake and hiding it in the dishwasher because I knew he would never look in there and accidentally find it before its debut. So a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, washing dishes by hand was my way of life.

So I decided I wouldn’t just succumb to washing the dishes myself…I decided to commit to washing the dishes myself.

It’s a scary commitment. It’s not like at the condo where I took the path of less irritation. On a baking day at the condo, it sure was nice to have the option of tossing them in the dishwasher and let it take care of the greasy or caked on mess. But once we were a family of four again and in non-vacay mode, the daily dishes and pans consumption had increased. And once we had returned to our 2 story home, corralling the dishes is more difficult. It was not uncommon to load a kitchen full of dishes, only to find another sinkful-worth of dishes scattered throughout the house. How would I ever keep up without the dishwasher?!? I think I had a mini panic attack as I faced my dilemma. This decision may have started out as necessity, but turned into an opportunity.

Changes which have occurred since the early retirement of our dishwasher:

• Discipline = Cleaner Kitchen Counter = Happy Mom = Happy Family

Before: Because we make our own bread, it seemed as if our counter was constantly littered with crumbs. But it also had its fair share of coffee/tea rings and other unidentified objects.

After: My mom taught me that after every dish-washing exercise I must wipe up the excess water in the surrounding area and the table and seats. Well, since I got the rag in my hand already, I might as well take care of all the counters and the stove to boot. It really doesn’t expend that much more time or energy especially since its 2-3x a day.

• Structure = Less Kitchen Counter Clutter = Happy Mom = Happy Family

Before: Dishes would pile up beginning at breakfast until right before bed when dishes got loaded into the dishwasher. Just looking at our inventory all day long was enervating.

After: Breakfast dishes get washed and are dry by the time lunch comes, when they just get reused. Ditto for dinner. I’m thinking about a serious inventory clearance sale in our future.

• Self-Motivation = Cleaner Kitchen Floor = Happy Mom = Happy Family

Before: We relied on The Skipper Dog to do the daily heavy lifting. But sometime the crumbs and the homemade gluten-free flour experiments got too entangled with his shed hair for him to successfully lap up.

After: The Hub has been bringing out the broom at night while I’m washing the dishes! On his own accord!

There is no more standing water in the dishwasher from the clog. I’m not sure if The Hub fixed it, or just sucked it all up with the wet-vac, and I’m not sure if I want to know the truth because I don’t want to be tempted to cave.

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In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Ephesians 4:26-27

Anger is like the ultimate vulnerability for me. Whereas some people can use that adrenaline to be motivated, like win a game or complete a task to perfection, I, on the other hand have a history of utilizing that extra energy to babble nonsense without end and/or blubber like a wimp, then throw my hands up in defeat. It’s not very productive or flattering. It leaves me feeling embarrassed, out of control, and overwhelmed at the new messes I’ve just created.

I have been surprised at the unlikely places that Anger rears its ugly head in my life. I was really blind to how much I reacted in anger on a daily, sometimes hourly (is minutely a word?), basis. The many faces of Anger eluded me in my general happy-go-lucky, que-sera-sera, God’s-got-my-back mentality. The study is teaching me to recognize these quick-to-fade moments before they get away. (I feel pretty ridiculous when I’m wavering back and forth, “I think that made me mad, but I’m not sure.”) But the most helpful skill I’m trying to master is categorizing both the big and small episodes into one of 3 categories

Anger is defined as an intent to preserve personal worth, essential needs, and basic convictions.

by taking the time to question why I was feeling angry (frustrated/unloved/manipulated/betrayed/jealous/etc) in that instant. I keep asking myself Why? until I come to a conclusion over which I have 100% control. It is a liberating moment. The final solution is not always apparent nor remotely related to the problem at hand. Sometimes it is simply admitting that the only control I have in the situation is to forgive myself and forget it.

Now the ease of that process comes under the assumption that I’ve had enough sleep, food, the planets are all aligned, and no one is in my personal space. In the more common doozy situations, when I am unable to maintain a clear head, I have scripted a “life boat” prayer to say when I’m just too upset to contemplate the right thing or have already overstepped my boundaries.

Lord, please provide me with a positive and productive distraction right now. Amen.

I’m only on Tenet #4 of thirteen so I hope I’m not digging myself into a neighboring hole with that one. Tossing Why? among the diverse and abundant selection of controversy in my life has led me to face some uncomfortable truths – including that my problem solving skills (which I have previously held in high esteem) have been abducted and secretly replaced by very savvy and creative skills of distraction and avoidance. Hmmm, I wonder why…

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