What Mimi Read

MPBN's jingle from the Nixon administration

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 17:57:00 +0000

Have you ever listened to Maine Things Considered on MPBN at 5:30 pm on weeknights? I have. And I really like it. Except for one thing. One horrible, eardrum-bleeding thing. Their jingle.

This is serious. Action MUST be taken.

I know I am not the only one who hates this 1970s electronic blip because I've talked about it with other young, smart, hip listeners. I think the peeps over at MPBN have heard it for so long that it doesn't register with them how awful it really really is. It's just too bad that such a good newscast has to start off on the wrong foot.

I suggest we start a petition to change the jingle for the love of God and all things pure and true. Who's with me?!

Dr. Leonard's Crazy Magazine

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 15:09:00 +0000

I have mentioned this before on this blog, but I bought my grandparent's house this summer. This means that I now get all of their weird, old people catalogs even though my grandfather is dead and my grandmother lives in assisted living.

I got a particularly interesting magazine in the mail yesterday for my grandfather: Dr. Leonard's. I am a sick individual with a weird sense of humor, so I like to look through these magazines and laugh at the silly things I see, like caftans, fleece blankets decorated with a large face of a wolf or tiger, and funny ads for hair conditioner and denture adhesive.

But as I'm innocently flipping through I come to a page of horror. Beyond the bunyon correctors, support thigh-highs, and a magnetic knee brace was a two-page spread featuring....VIBRATORS! There were all kinds of them! There were some with butterflies and some with rabbits. There was Lov Rub and a pump to conquer impotence. There were even vibrating erection rings.

I gasped (I was clearly not expecting this) and gazed with consternation. Then I started thinking about my grandfather -- the one who had to have sliced tomatoes with every meal and beans on Saturday -- leafing through this magazine and coming upon this page. I wonder if he would laugh...or be embarrassed...or even know what the vibrators were for. This made me laugh. A lot.

So, thank you Dr. Leonard, for sending my dead grandfather a magazine including EVERYTHING an octogenarian could possibly need to live a more fulfilling life.

New Book: The Girls From Ames

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 16:51:00 +0000

When I'm looking for a new book to read I head to Borders with my notepad. There I browse and write down the titles of the books that caught my fancy then check them out at the library. I find that it's WAY easier to browse at a bookstore than the library. This is how I came across The Girls From Ames by Jeffrey Zaslow.

I like books by journalists. Zaslow took a year off from his column at The Wall Street Journal to write this book. Journalists turned novelists make me feel like someday I can actually write a book. Maybe.

Anyway, I was particularly interested in this book because I grew up in a college town and had a clique of friends. We were called "The Clan" in high school and we were made up of mostly oldest-children in our families navigating the waters of high school. Melanie, Heather, Laura, Tyra, Kate, Tonie, and Jody. We all did everything together. That's not to say that we didn't have friends outside of our clique -- because we all did. But we were popular and known to have ties to each other that went back to preschool days.

I just started this book last night. I was flooded with memories of my own friendships and started thinking about those girls and what they are up to today. I keep in touch with every single one of them. Some of them have lost touch between each other, as will happen over time. I love every single one of them still and wish I could see them all more often.

So far the book is living up to my expectations. It's interesting that a male journalist is chronicling the lives of these 11 women friends, but so far he's doing a really great job. I'm excited to read more!

Oh Martha!

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 19:06:00 +0000

My friend Meryl gave me a subscription to Martha Steward Living for my birthday. This magazine has a lot of beautiful photos and great recipies...but my favorite part of the whole thing is Martha's Calendar.

You, reader, can find out what Martha has planned to do every day of the month! Here are some of her planned activities for January:

January 7: Dust books in the library along the spines with a feather duster.
Who in their right mind needs to PLAN to do this? And why so detailed? What if she doesn't use a duster made of feathers? Does she melt?

January 10: Decorate dining room with begonias.
Again -- such detail. What if the florist happens to be out of begonias?

January 12: Polish copper pots.
Fun.

January 14: Bathe cats.
I wish wish wish I could be there to watch Martha bathe her cats. OMG would that be funny. In all actuality, I'm sure she pays a minion to bathe the cats for her. She wouldn't want to get her cashmere sweater all scratched up. And anyway -- don't cats bathe themselves on a daily, if not hourly basis?

January 16: Begin winter dormant pruning of pin oak allee.
This is how that sentence sounds in my mind: mdsfao nf ajfididaieke dakf ndalsie. Exactly.

January 19: Bring a bowl of fresh eggs to the office.I might suggest bringing homemade cookies or cinnamon buns...but no. Martha brings eggs. Not the easiest thing to snack on throughout the day...

January 20: Vacuum and dust coils of refrigerator (unplug it beforehand).
Nobody but Martha does this.

January 31: Pulse bread (or uncooked white rice) in coffee grinder to remove residue.
God bless the child who forgets to do this.

Not only does she have a daily talk show, a monthly magazine, and various other celebrity stuff to do, it's nice to know Martha doesn't overlook her other duties as duster, egg giver, and cat bather.

An open letter to a PR person...

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 20:35:00 +0000

Dear PR person,

Hello. How are you? Wait a minute -- don't answer that -- I don't really care. Did you know that this is the third time you have contacted me about your idea/event/book? Are you familiar with our magazine? Oh, wait again, clearly you're not or you wouldn't be pitching me your idea/event/book.

See, we are a monthly regional publication that writes about specific things happening in a specific area in Maine. And being a monthly publication means that the event you are pitching me that is going to be happening this weekend will not be able to make it into the next magazine because it's already gone to print. We send our January/February magazine to the printer in the beginning of December so that it's on the shelves in a timely fashion.

And if you have taken the time to look at our publication online, you will see that we don't cover people from out-of-state, rock bands on tour, or do book reviews, though thanks for that free CD and book. No I haven't listened to it or read it and I probably won't.

Happy Holidays!

Robert Frost was smart....

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 20:24:00 +0000

I'm reading a biography of Robert Frost that was lent to me by a friend. I've never been taken by his poetry in the way I am with other poets (Stephen Dobyns for example) but that doesn't mean I'm not interested in this American wordsmith.

In reading the first chapters I have come to a conclusion: people growing up in the educational system in the late 1800s and early 1900s were smarter than kids growing up now.

Sure it's a bold statement, but I really believe it to be true and here's why: there was no technology to waste their time. Sure, we're technologically savvy today. We know how to blog, facebook, twit, post videos on YouTube, tivo, and text. All of these distractions are getting in our way of being able to reason and think for ourselves.

Think about it...back in the day the only books around were what we call "classics" today. It was expensive to print books and there weren't as many. Heck -- you can pay a meager fee to publish your OWN book today! Kids back then read Homer and learned how to understand it! Parents read to their kids for entertainment. They didn't read Dr. Seuss, they read serious books! Books I probably can't understand now as a 30-something.

Don't get me wrong. I like technology. But I wonder if all these laptops in the classroom and fancy schmancy calculators are really doing us a whole lot of good if we can't read a paragraph or a chapter and talk about it thoughtfully?

Sigh.

Jenny 8. Lee took the buyout!

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 20:27:00 +0000

I saw in this Gawker post that Jennifer 8. Lee took the buyout from the New York Times and I'm a little surprised. She was sort of a "star" if you will of the metro section...with name recognition and all.

Jenny 8. Lee, who has spent the last two years as one of the creative and daring and agile brains behind City Room, and her instincts and inventiveness have helped make it the second most popular blog in our empire.

My friend Kaija from NYU j-school shadowed Lee for a story and I was sorta jealous. I'm dying to know what her plans are...

What Mimi Saw: Les Otten commercial

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 21:52:00 +0000

Les Otten is running for governor. I've been seeing his commercials all over the TV. In his 30 second appearance, Otten says the word "jobs" every five seconds.

A "gap year" before college...

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 21:12:00 +0000

I really liked reading this opinion piece in the Wall Street Journal this weekend. I also think it's kind of cool that this dad (Steve Yoder) has his kids, Isaac and Levi, pitch in on this column -- it gives another perspective that I really like.

I really wanted to take a "gap year" between high school and college. I had it all planned out. I was going to graduate from high school and then head off to a country in Central America (my first pick was Mexico) to be an American Field Service student. We had had lots of AFS students at my high school and I had been planning on being in the program since I was a sophomore. I wasn't even really thinking about college during my junior year when the rest of my friends were visiting schools across the country. As far as I was concerned I was going to live with a Mexican family and study at a Mexican high school and take a cultural year before hitting the books.

My senior year it all came crashing down.

The AFS age rules changed and I was too old to study abroad anywhere but Switzerland. I had spent 4 years studying Spanish and I wasn't content to spend a year learning French or German. I wanted to perfect my spanish! I cried a lot. I pleaded with AFS to make an exception for me. Nothing worked. I was devastated. My year of culture wasn't going to happen. Without an alternate plan I decided I'd have to head off to college after all.

I attended Northeastern University in Boston for my freshman year. I loved that school and I loved the city but it was a hard year for me. I knew a lot of people but I only had one really close friend. I was used to having tons of close friends and I was lonely a lot of the time. I was also financially strapped. Northeastern is a private school and it was expensive. It's also a 5-year school with a year planned in for internships. After my first year I decided to transfer back to the University of Maine in my hometown. It was a hard decision. I ended up becoming depressed and spent a sad semester in Maine.

But when live gives you lemons you make lemonade. I applied for an National Student Exchange (which is just like studying abroad except it's for schools in the U.S.) and chose a school in Baltimore, Towson University, to attend. It was the only school I was interested in and they had a great film/television program. I was also accepted into the Disney College Program and after one semester at UMaine, I packed my bags for a semester of learning and working in Orlando, Florida. That experience changed my perspective and I had a marvelous time. I consider that semester to be a semester off -- even though I did earn 3 college credits.

I had decided that If I wasn't accepted to Towson thorough the student exchange I was going to join the Peace Corps. UMaine wasn't for me. I longed for adventure. But I was accepted to Towson and I enrolled there for a year, paying my in-state tuition to UMaine.

I embraced Towson and ended up transferring there after my year was up. I ended up graduating from there in the winter of 2000.

I didn't have your normal college experience, and I wonder if I had taken that year after high school to study in another country if I would have followed the same path. Probably not. I wonder if I would have studied the same thing in college had I spent a year in Mexico. I have no idea. Perhaps I would have been more interested in spanish, education, or humanitarian work. Perhaps I wouldn't have gone to college at all -- but I find that unlikely. I really love learning.

When one door closes another door opens. It's cheesy but it's true I think. When I couldn't go to Mexico I did other things, not letting unhappiness stand in my way. I have always been one to take opportunities that present themselves to me. That's how I got my job working at Camden Yards for the Orioles in production. That's how I ended up in Baltimore in the first place. That's how I got my first real job at a post-production house in Boston. That's how I got into NYU for grad school and ended up working for publications like PRWeek, Inc. Magazine, and The Star-Ledger. That's also how I got the job I'm at now.

I learned from my AFS experience of NOT being able to study abroad that the worst someone can say is "no" and that the only person who can make me happy is me. My grandmother once told me that if you don't get what you like, like what you get. I prefer to keep trying to get what I like until I'm happy.

So should students take a year off before heading to college? I think it is a great opportunity, especially for students who aren't really sure what they want to study. Even taking a semester off or a year off in college, like my sister did to hike the Appalachian Trail, is a great idea. You are only young once. Time is too precious to waste floating through your own life without direction. Gain a perspective, make goals, and reach them...no matter what they are.

Half Broke Horses

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 21:20:00 +0000

Melanie Brooks + Jeannette Walls = TLA.

I wish.

I fell so deeply in love with Jeannette's (yes we're on a first name basis) The Glass Castle that I almost 86'd a friend from my life because she kept forgiving to bring the copy I loaned her back to me. We have since reconciled and the book is happily back on my bookshelf, tucked in between Me Talk Pretty One Day and The Worst Hard Time.

I do have to confess that I bought this book with the intention of giving it away as a Christmas present. I was out of reading material and thought I could covertly read this novel and THEN gift it away. I have been very careful to not break the binding and I haven't dog-earred one single page.

But the book became my friend. Lily Casey Smith, the narrator and Jeannette's grandma, is too fun to give away. I can't. The book is now mine. I am happy about this.

But one thing makes me think -- and that is, how did my friend Jeannette know what her grandma talked like? Lily has a very pronounced way of talking and uses certain words in her conversation. He has a definite voice. Did Jeannette know this voice or did she make it up? I always wonder this when I read books like this. I wonder how realistic it all is. I mean, I believe the things that happened really happened -- I don't think Jeannette is making up her grandmother's life -- but was her grandmother REALLY this plucky woman she is made out to be? Did she really say things like "crum bum?"

In any case, it's not stopping me from loving this book. I have a literary and professional crush on my friend Jeannette. I'm so lucky to have her in my life.

Oh Tiger Woods...

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 16:21:00 +0000

You say that you are "dismayed to realize the full extent of what tabloid scrutiny really means" and that "personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions."

Um. You're a celebrity darling. Don't you know that yet?

Celebrities are not held to the same standards of privacy as normal citizens. It's sort of what celebrity means. The fact that you thought you could have an affair with a 24-year-old cocktail waitress and keep it a secret makes me giggle. If heads of state can't put the kaibosh on their extra-marital affairs, what makes you think you could do the same?

You are a superstar in the world of gold and, heck, athletics as a whole. You are good at your job. You are a role model for athletes of all ages. Is it too much to ask that you also be a good person? I mean, I THOUGHT you were a good person. You have a nice smile, you don't throw temper tantrums, you have a lovely wife and a child, and you are close to your family. I suppose I just assumed you would have a semblance of respect for that.

But, you are a celebrity. You have wanton needs that can't be fulfilled by everyday life. What's a sexy little cocktail waitress here and there -- especially if they spell their name Jaimee? No big deal...right?

What Mimi Saw: Gossip Girl

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 18:42:00 +0000

My excuse: I was bored. I don't usually watch TV, but I was home alone with nothing crafty to work on and my head hurt. I didn't want to think. But watching Gossip Girl actually gave me a lot to think about -- like...

Why are these 19-year-olds always talking about "going out for a drink" when they aren't legally old enough to get into a bar?

How is Serena qualified to work for a congressman without even having an internship or a college degree?

How in the world did Trip even get voted in as a congressman? He's like 20-years-old.

If Lily seriously did hang out by herself in her massive apartment throughout the better part of Thanksgiving drinking glass after glass of wine, how come she never got drunk?

Why is Taylor Momsen so skinny?

Why can't Chuck open his eyes?

What's wrong with Serena's mouth? It looks like she's constantly sucking on a Jolly Rancher or something.

Why is it that out of all of these kids only Vanessa goes to college?

How did Chase get that motorcycle into his apartment?

It's amazing that just one episode created so many thought provoking questions! This is what American television is all about.

What Mimi Saw: Disney's A Christmas Carol

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 19:25:00 +0000

Right after I gave my boyfriend his handmade birthday gift and right after he broke up with me, my parents came over to my house to keep my sobbing self company. Instead of sitting around having them watch me cry and talk about my feelings and all that crap we decided to go see the new 3-D movie by Disney: A Christmas Carol.

For a cartoon -- it was really scary. I'm not joking. I was scared several times. I wouldn't suggest bringing a young child to this show unless you want them burrowed in your lap. Now I admit -- I don't do the whole scary/horror movie thing because, well, I get easily scared. But the ghosts in A Christmas Carol were strangely real looking and creepy. The ghost of Marley moaned the entire time and his lower jaw came unhitched. Gross. The Ghost of Christmas Past was a creepy whispering candle dude with a flaming head. The Ghost of Christmas Present was a Scot who couldn't stop laughing, even as he was dying. And the Ghost of Christmas Future? He rode the four horses of the apocalypse. That's one scary mode of transportation.

The 3-D effects weren't the kind that jumped out at you because they could. They enhanced the film subtly without cheap shots and tricks. I actually felt like I could feel the greasy-ness of Scrooge's limp hair. Gross but kind of cool.

And the effects didn't stifle the message. If you're looking for something un-cheesy and fun to watch this holiday season I would highly recommend this movie. Bring your boyfriend -- if you have one.

Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:26:00 +0000

I am currently reading Olive Kitteridge on the suggestion of some of my friends on Facebook. Good suggestion guys! It took me a little while to get into it, but I'm over half way through and I am thoroughly enjoying myself.

Set in the fictional coastal town of Crosby, Maine, Strout gives readers a glimpse into the lives of some of the locals. Olive, a retired junior high math teacher and wife to the town pharmacist, weaves her way through the lives of these townspeople in practically every story. It's a lovely way to write about a community but you have to pay attention. Time jumps from chapter to chapter and it can get confusing if you don't remember the names of the characters and the ties they have to each other.

Growing up and currently living in a small Maine town where my parents are townies and everyone in town knows who my grandparents are, I feel connected to this book. If you've never been to Maine, Strout gives you a rare taste of what it really is like growing up and raising your kids in the same town -- knowing the same people all your life. I'm sure Crosby, Maine could be a microcosm for small town America, but the quaintness of coastal Maine is unlike any other place in the country. It's so -- New England.

In any case, I'm not finished yet, but feel confident enough to suggest this book to my friends and veritable strangers. Hope you like it!

FairPoint Still Sucks

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 17:17:00 +0000

I've blogged before about how much FairPoint sucks. That was back in April and they haven't been doing any better since then. I just read this story in the Bangor Daily that after a loss of $77 million last quarter and filing for bankruptcy in October, the "communications" company has hired a couple of Portland-based firms to beef up their marketing.

FairPoint needs to win the public’s confidence after bungling the technical aspects of the network handover from Verizon, leaving many customers frustrated with dropped calls, billing errors and slow action on service orders.

Trementozzi said he hoped advertising would be geared “to reassure the public that they’re a viable company here to do business and capable of handling products and services to the consumer.” - David Graham for the BDN.

Will it work? I don't think so. People up here in New England aren't quick to forget when they've been wronged. And this company has wronged a vast amount of people.

Michelle Kainen, a White River Junction, Vt., lawyer specializing in bankruptcy, said she, too, was not surprised at FairPoint’s efforts to step up marketing and advertising. But Kainen, who suffered a long delay in getting voicemail from the company and then lost messages in a voicemail box, laughed as she suggested one other area where the company could spend the money.

“They ought to hire more customer service people,” Kainen said.

I hear ya, Michelle...

Education Program for Prisoners -- well done MPBN!

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:13:00 +0000

I caught Maine Things Considered last night on MPBN radio while waiting in my car for my dinner companion. I'm so glad he was late. Susan Sharon did an amazing job on her story about the prison education program College Guild that it prompted me to see how I can be a volunteer reader. Ok, so I haven't done it yet but I will as soon as I'm done this post.

The entire story was well researched with tons of great interviews. It's so nice to see that there are people out there with big hearts and an open mind who want to help some of the most helpless people in the country.

Want to be inspired? Listen for yourself.

Funky Figures in the Penobscot Times

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:21:00 +0000

For those of you who don't live in the Orono-Old Town Area, The Penobscot Times is a weekly paper that covers the news in our area. It's a nice little publication and editor Greta Sproul also seems to be the sole reporter -- her name is always on every article.

Being the only reporter can be tough -- and I wonder if the workload is getting to Sproul. On the front page of the November 19th edition there is a story about a Maine dude, Gerald Brann, who impersonates Elton John. He was performing at Orono High School, "in conjunction with the presentation of a $20,000 check from Lane Construction on behalf of Project Graduation" Sproul reported.

$20,000 for Project Graduation! That number jumped out at my mother, who, back in the day, helped plan Project Graduation for both me and my sister. That is one hell of a donation...

But when you jump to page 4 to finish the story there is a photo of Brann (in his Elton John get-up) with two guys from Lane Construction and Sunrise Materials holding up a big fake check for exactly $1,500.

How the heck did Sproul get that wrong? Especially with a photo? $20,000 is a huge chunk of change for an after graduation party for about 60-ish kids and a huge red light for a fact check.

Real Simple redeems itself

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:44:00 +0000

So I recently posted about how sucky Real Simple magazine was in November. I gave it to one of my coworkers, pointing out all the stupid crap they put in there (like how to load my dishwasher and 7 stupid things to do with an old CD) and she still took it to look at. Idiot (just kidding, Sandy!)

Getting ready for a recent trip to our nation's capital I decided to pick out a magazine for the plane trip -- one of my most favorite things to do. I instantly bought Real Simple. I was lured by the beautiful cover (image left) and had momentarily forgotten how much the last issue disappointed me. As you can see I'm easily distracted. I read it with trepidation.

But you know what? It didn't suck! It's like the editorial staff actually read my post! (They totally didn't -- but how cool would that have been?) Inside I found a bunch of gift ideas for the men in my family and found a bunch of cool craft ideas for things I could make myself rather than pay a lot of money for! I love when that happens.

So it was a good purchase. I dog-eared a bunch of pages and I am ready to set out on some new craft projects with glee. Thanks guys!

Rich Dad, Poor Dad

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:48:00 +0000

I finally got around to reading this book. It was published in 1997 and I was wondering how the economic downturn would relate to the story. Author Robert Kiyosaki's advice is really timeless.

Most of the stuff I already knew. Credit card debt = bad. But it was interesting how he put my assets and liabilities in check for me. I'm struggling with how to categorize my educational loans -- are they an asset or a liability? The asset is that they gave me skills to freelance and have my job. The liability is that they are something I have to pay each month -- like my car and mortgage. Ugh.

Basically it comes down to the fact that I have no assets and all liabilities. Assets are things like stocks, bonds, rental property, mutual funds, etc. that make money for you without you having to work for it. I am signing up for my companies 401k program next week but still. I have very little (5k about) in a retirement plan and even less (2k) in Roth IRAs. Yikes. My liability category, though, is full: mortgage, taxes, car payment, insurance, heating oil, loans, blah blah blah!

It did make me see my goals more clearly...which are to:

1. pay off my car and drive it until it falls apart at the seams.
2. get a pay raise
3. invest said money from no car payment and raise to create more assets
4. put an extra mortgage payment towards my house each year
5. not look to upgrade (ie, new car, new house, new luxuries)

I would love to own a rental property down the line, and living in a college town that's probably easier to do than if I lived in the middle of nowhere. I'd like to go into an investment like that with my family members but then again that can be tricky. I tried to talk my dad into doing something like that for his retirement. He and my bro-in-law John could be in charge of maintenance, I would be in charge of rent and tenants, and my sister could do...I don't know....something else.

I firmly believe in getting your money to work for you. And I know I need to be more financially savvy. It's my new year's resolution for 2010....thanks Rich Dad!

Weird Catalogs

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 15:05:00 +0000

I bought my grandparents' house this summer when my grandmother decided to move into assisted living. Sometimes I get some weird mail addressed to them -- not anything important mind you -- just junk mail and occasional catalogs.

I got a Miles Kimball catalog in the mail recently -- their Christmas 2009 issue. I leafed through it one night out of sheer boredom and found a plethora of really weird things. I decided they were strange enough to share with you.

This so called "Sheet and Blanket Support" made me giggle. I guess if you had really big feet this might be a bit more comfortable -- but it really goes above and beyond just not tucking your sheets and blankets tightly under your mattress. And, in case you were wondering, the vinyl-coated steel support won't rust. Call me crazy but I thought metal only rusted when exposed to water. If it's raining under your comforter you have bigger problems to worry about than creating a tent for your feet...

I love how this photo alerts the readers that these knee warmers save energy. Not sure about the ladybug, though. The write up in the catalog says these warmers "provide soothing comfort when winter winds blow." Here's a crazy idea -- if your knees are cold put some pants on! Or if you want to wear a skirt, wear tights! How ones knees could be cold but their shins and thighs could be toasty warm is beyond me.

I sort of love this product. I mean, why let your tight pants motivate you to exercise and go on a diet when you can just make them bigger. It's called a Comf-O-Mate. I'd call it a Gut Buster.

I actually own this rope timer though I don't think my mother got it from the Miles Kimball catalog. "Just wear this timer around your neck and you'll never miss its cheerful ring!" I can tell you, from experience, that the ring this timer gives off is NOT cheerful. It is, in fact, a blood curdling, heart attack inducing, ear shattering bell. If I wore it around my neck I might drop dead when it went off.

I grew up going to Catholic church every Sunday and not ONCE did Santa Claus appear in our Christmas Eve re-enactments of the birth of Jesus.

The Burn Journals by Brent Runyon

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:37:00 +0000

This book gave me nightmares. Literally. I had a dream that my friend's little sister was going to commit suicide. It was my job to talk her out of it. I tried to tell her all the things she was good at and her sister wasn't. I also told her that she couldn't kill herself because there was no way her husband was going to be able to take care of their two kids by themselves. Thankfully it was a dream.

This book is a true story about this teenager, Brent, who doused himself with gasoline and lit himself on fire in the bathroom of his home. Gross. And really sad. It sort of reads like a diary and is somewhat graphic when it comes to the pain he goes through having burned 85% of his body. Runyon takes you through the "incident" and the first year of his recovery.

If you're thinking about burning yourself to death I highly recommend you read this book first. It will take all of the romance out of it for you. It was hard to read at times -- especially the parts when his parents break down and cry. This kid is dealing with some real serious depression as a teen and it ends up following him into his adult years, too. If you've never been depressed or been close to someone who has had to deal with depression, you might not really get this book. I got it.

Many people have, even if fleeting, thought about what it would be like to kill themselves. This book shows you exactly what it's like for someone to live through a suicide attempt and what they and their family members go through. It's a fast read, as it's written in the voice of a 14-year-old, but it's still powerful. Heck -- powerful enough to give me a nightmare.

Real Simple thinks I'm stupid

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:28:00 +0000

Well, maybe not ME in particular, but their readers as a whole. I picked up the November issue and began to leaf through it. The editor's note from Kristin Van Ogtrop made me smile -- Kristin promised me 14 brand new monthly columns! Wowzers! Then I started reading.

Good lord. Real Simple thinks I need to know about the dumbest things. Here are some examples:

How to load my dishwasher
How to decorate with the color blue
The difference between one ply and three ply toilet paper
7 dumb things I can use an old CD or jewel case for
To keep my black pants black I shouldn't wash them so much (duh)
How to embrace change
How to wash my face
What shampoo their testers liked best
Taking a deep breath helps to reduce stress (4 pages on this earth shattering discovery)
How to do sit ups
How to clean my stove in 10 mintues

I'm so bored I can't even write anymore....

Weird typos

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:18:00 +0000

I was reading this story, posted on the Portland Press Herald's website from the Associated Press, and realized that there are some serious typos:

WASHINGTON -- Authorities say Fort Hood shooting Nidal Malik Hasan remains in a coma but is expected to live.

I think they mean "shooter" here.

Retired Col. Terry Lee, who said he had worked with Hasan, told Fox News said Hasan had hoped President Barack Obama would pull troops out of Afghanistan and Iraq and got into frequent arguments with others in the military who supported the wars.

told Fox News said Hasan? Huh?

I'm interested to know if this is an AP mistake or a Press Herald mistake. Either way...spell check! If one of my college students had passed this in they would have been in BIG trouble.

When to quit...

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 18:38:00 +0000

Very rarely do I start a book and not be compelled to finish. I do a fair bit of research when looking for a new book to read and I know what genres I like and don't like. I picked The Third Child by Marge Piercy out of a bunch of beach reading from a friend. I have read and enjoyed some of Piercy's poetry in the past. This book, however, is abysmal.

When I picked up this book I had no idea it was Piercy's 16th novel. I don't know if she's running out of things to write about or what, but I didn't get half-way through it before happily setting it aside. Have you ever written a book that made you think to yourself, "Hey, I can write better than this!" Well, I'm no novelist but I began to think that I had written prose like this in junior high.

Piercy describes people in such a way that you know she wants it to be subtle, but it's not. Perhaps the book bothers me so much because it's about privileged college students. Maybe it's because the book doesn't really depict college as I know it to be. Maybe because the main character, Melissa, is such a whiney little brat.

I just don't buy this story. The dialogue is weird and the characters aren't all that interesting to me. The relationships seem unrealistic. There's nothing original about the writing. I gave up.

Finished: Beyond the Pale

noreply@blogger.com (Mimi) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:37:00 +0000

I grabbed this book by Elana Dykewomon off my roommate's bookshelf. She was a women's studies major in college and has lots of "women unite!" books from her years as an undergraduate. This book interested me for a few reasons:

1. It was about Russian immigrants during the early 1900s.
2. It was about the early women's movement in NYC.
3. It told the story of the Triangle Shirtwaist Company.

It's also about lesbians. Russian lesbians in fact. Now I have nothing against lesbians, but I have never really read anything where they were the main characters. And go ahead and get your mind out of the gutter -- there wasn't any erotic writing in this book at all.

I actually learned a lot. I also began to wonder how many women during that time disguised themselves as men to get better wages. I've always held a soft spot for immigrants who were successful doing whatever they did in their home country and then came to America for a better life and ended up doing a job that was vastly below their education level.

And while I'm not a feminist, I did like reading about the womens' unions during that time and what they fought for. I sometimes get cranky and tired working a 40+ hour workweek. I should be so lucky as to not have to fight tooth and nail for an 8-hour work day. Ah how literature puts things into perspective for me.