What Not to Crochet

Dress up as a Tribble…

whatnot2crochet — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 17:27:31 +0000

…embellished with crochet trim! If you’ve forgotten what a Tribble is, I’ve included Star Trek photos to remind you. Even Captain Kirk would approve or would he? This coat will set you back $3,499 but the fashion statement you’ll make as a Tribble – priceless.

How to hide your figure…

whatnot2crochet — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 19:52:13 +0000

Wear a crocheted dress that looks
heavy and boxy all in one!

Vikings & Cyclops

whatnot2crochet — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 00:44:27 +0000

Made me giggle when I saw these…enjoy!

Nose warmers…

whatnot2crochet — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 18:28:35 +0000

I gotta say these are kind of quirky and silly though aren’t they? If you’re adventurous I’m sure you’d have fun wearing one of these…the facial expressions are priceless especially the dude in the orange colored one.

Perfect for Clown College!

whatnot2crochet — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 16:49:25 +0000

Going to clown college anyone? We have the perfect slippers for you! Doesn’t matter how many angles these are photographed at – none of them make them any less clown-like.

Submitted by one of our readers – thank you! We love participation!

Man crochet at its finest…

whatnot2crochet — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 04:37:28 +0000

And apparently some men are quite okay with modeling these. Where’s the mannequin when you need it? Ew.

Itty bitty indeed…

whatnot2crochet — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 16:59:57 +0000

It’s so itty bitty it won’t even cover your bits not even a little bit and it’s sold as a bikini for public wear. Thankfully it’s modeled on a mannequin or we’d need the eye bleach again.

You will feel like a beautiful flower…

whatnot2crochet — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 15:28:46 +0000

…when you wear this skirt! Not my words – that comes directly from the designer. The skirt is $365 just in case you were considering feeling like a tulip.

Bullseye!

whatnot2crochet — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 15:23:36 +0000

It’s always been at the top of my list – to be a walking target that is. And besides that, why the acrylic yarn for these? I bet they’d look half-decent in better yarn. Brought to you by the dream design team at Red Heart.

Bacon & eggs bikini…huh?

whatnot2crochet — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 15:44:10 +0000

Put down the coffee before you open up these photos – I’ve warned you! Not sure where to wear it? Here’s an idea from the designer…hopefully your special someone won’t laugh hysterically when they see you.

Inspired by awesome breakfast food, wake your special someone up with a suprise sexy breakfast in this sizzling hot g string bikini…

A little Lanzini…

whatnot2crochet — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 17:53:38 +0000

Rather creative but kind of creepy in a make your skin crawl sort of way…

Is that a squid on your head?

whatnot2crochet — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 16:52:41 +0000

I went searching for man crochet…just to see what would come up and this is definitely not what I was expecting to find. This must be the squid mate to our gravatar image…

And for $119.50, here’s what you get:

The design of this critter came from blending characteristics from both an octopus and giant squid. It has 8 curly tentacles, with the 2 in the front ending in domed clubs. Lining the tentacles are small crocheted suckers, each of which are carefully sewn on individually.The hood is specially shaped to have that peaked top like a squid with crocheted eyes sewn on the sides. Crocheted from a soft and sturdy worsted acrylic yarn, so even though you’re wearing an animal, you’re not wearing a real animal! A happy bonus to all the vegans out there!

Putting the butt in boy shorts…

whatnot2crochet — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 01:12:38 +0000

OMG! No. Just simply no. Words fail me on this one. The description says:

These specific shorts are ready to be shipped. Custom orders take about 3 days.

Is it just me or is she naked under these shorts? She’s seriously going to ship you THESE shorts this “model” is wearing? The one photo of the “model” rolling her eyes into the back of her head…not touching that one other than to say why is she laying in a bed?

Excuse me while I go and find the eye bleach and disinfectant.

Narcissism at its finest…

whatnot2crochet — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 23:17:40 +0000

When you are browsing through Etsy do you ever wonder if the item you’re being sent has been worn by the designer? Case in point…all these items are being worn and not every single one of them said “we custom make the item for you”. Can I get a collective “gross!” please?

And the more I look through sites like Etsy the more I’m left with the distinct impression that a lot of the designers are not really intending to sell the items but more like they just want to take semi-provocative photos of themselves and throw them up on the web because, really, who’s going to buy these items and especially for the prices they’re asking?

The Little Black Dress

whatnot2crochet — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 17:08:57 +0000

A crocheted version that is. It’s really not so bad for the right body type and the right occasion but the price? The price is what caught our eye – $2,250. Now granted, it probably took awhile to crochet this but I still have to wonder – if you can’t take professional photos nor take this outside somewhere to take pretty photos of it, who’s going to even consider plopping $2,250 into your Paypal account? Calling yourself a professional fashion designer doesn’t help either – professional implies you’d take professional photos…ZOMG! On the bright side, it’s custom made to your size and it ships for free…LOL