What Some Would Call Lies http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com By Mike Lawson Sun, 06 Jul 2008 13:30:41 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 en http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/1619696http://www.feedburner.com This is the one where I challenge you to have a good, positive week. http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-i-challenge-you-to-have-a-good-positive-week-7.html http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-i-challenge-you-to-have-a-good-positive-week-7.html#comments Sun, 06 Jul 2008 13:30:41 +0000 Mike Lawson http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/?p=854 SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "This is the one where I challenge you to have a good, positive week.", url: "http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-i-challenge-you-to-have-a-good-positive-week-7.html" });]]> This is a challenge. I challenge you to make next week a good one. Try to focus on these words this week:

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]]> http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-i-challenge-you-to-have-a-good-positive-week-7.html/feed This is the one about fireworks. http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-about-fireworks.html http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-about-fireworks.html#comments Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:18:46 +0000 Mike Lawson http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/?p=1051 SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "This is the one about fireworks.", url: "http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-about-fireworks.html" });]]>
Fireworks are stupid. Don’t misunderstand me…I understand the patriotic symbolism and the tradition and all of that. I just think that they are stupid.

I particularly hate the kind of fireworks that civilians buy and ignite in their own drunken celebrations on the street in front of their homes.

When I was living in Orange County I was living in one of the three cities where fireworks were still legal. And since I lived on the Garden Grove/Westminster city border I had to endure a lot people parking at my apartment complex and in the surrounding streets and igniting their explosives right outside my windows.

I was always afraid of something catching fire on my roof.

One year I was hanging at a friend’s house in Garden Grove and we went outside to ignite a firework or two, and when we were standing in the street a smoking bottle rocket landed less than two feet away from me. That same year my friend’s neighbors left a pile of smoldering firework waste in the gutter and we watched it ignite in flames. My friend had to run over and stomp it out–luckily he had on sneakers.

If I were still living in California, I’d be doing what I could to help make fireworks illegal. But here in Arizona they are illegal, so I’ve got nothing to make a stink about.

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]]> http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-about-fireworks.html/feed This is the one about last 4th. http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-about-last-4th.html http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-about-last-4th.html#comments Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:00:15 +0000 Mike Lawson http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/?p=1046 SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "This is the one about last 4th.", url: "http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-about-last-4th.html" });]]> It’s funny to think that a year ago when I was hanging out in the Southern California “heat” it was only about 90.

Today, in the 115 that is Phoenix, I’m thinking back to last 4th of July when I was walking in the Huntington Beach Independence Day parade with the Orange County Young Democrats.

I’m getting more and more comfortable with life here, but it is annual events that really make me think of Southern California.  When I can say, “exactly one year ago I was having fun in Orange County doing…” I start to miss my old home.

That’s me on the left.

Well, whatever you’re doing to celebrate Independence Day, remember to be responsible and safe: don’t drink and drive, and wear a rubber (especially if you just met him).

Happy Birthday America.

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]]> http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-about-last-4th.html/feed This is the one where I give. http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-i-give.html http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-i-give.html#comments Fri, 04 Jul 2008 03:44:40 +0000 Mike Lawson http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/?p=1049 SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "This is the one where I give.", url: "http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-i-give.html" });]]>

I’m still participating in the Benevolent Blogger Project.  This week I donated my 2.5% to my friends at The Diabetes Hands Foundation.  These are the same folks that run TuDiabetes.com.

I really wish I could have given more.  I may just have to repeat this donation in a few weeks.

In other Benevolent Blogger news, we added another blogger to the list.  The Prissy Cook is giving–both time and mooola.  Check her site out.

So what are you waiting for?  Start giving!  Drop me an email to tell me that you’re in, and I’ll add you to the list.

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]]> http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-i-give.html/feed This is the one that should only be read when I die. http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-that-should-only-be-read-when-i-die.html http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-that-should-only-be-read-when-i-die.html#comments Thu, 03 Jul 2008 13:43:38 +0000 Mike Lawson http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/?p=1044 SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "This is the one that should only be read when I die.", url: "http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-that-should-only-be-read-when-i-die.html" });]]>

Ashes to ashes, and all that other bullshit.

If you know me well, then you’ve been confronted with my favorite hypothetical: “What would you do if I died right now?”

I love throwing that question out and I love hearing the different responses. Usually people need to ask a clarifying question before they respond. “Like, how would I feel?” is a common one. Or “do you mean if you just dropped dead?”

My eye has always been on the big finish line. I don’t think that my thoughts on death are morbid. Or sad. Or depressing.

I’m actually just jealous that I won’t be around to participate. I love when people retell my stories (or when I retell theirs); I love sharing big shocking news (like my own death). And when I’m dead, I won’t be around to participate in any of that!

But I have a great solution! I’m going to write a blog post that should be read only after my death. Here it is:

Hello friends.

I’ve got the biggest, juiciest piece of news. OMG! You haven’t heard?

I died.

Seriously. I’m totally dead. Like stopped breathing, sitting in a fridge somewhere right now as you read this. Can you freaking believe it?

If I were a vindictive person….err, vindictive corpse, I might use this space to tell off all of you fuckers that still owe me money. Was it your plan all along just to wait me out?

If you’re in denial, I understand. You’re probably think that I can’t be dead for one of the following reasons:

** It’s natural to deny the death of your loved ones
** I’m still blogging, how could I possibly be dead?
** You still owe me money and you know that I wouldn’t just check out without collecting.

Those are all natural responses to such news. And I’ve got resolutions for all of them:

** If you’re just denying my death because it’s part of the grieving process, check out this book. It may help you cope.
** If you think that it’s impossible to blog from the grave, read this article from The Guardian about a solider that blogged after death.
** And if you still owe me money, don’t worry…I’ll figure out a way to collect.

Well, I’ve got to get going. I love most of you…forget me not.

mL

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]]> http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-that-should-only-be-read-when-i-die.html/feed This is the one with a quotation. http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-with-a-quotation-19.html http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-with-a-quotation-19.html#comments Wed, 02 Jul 2008 13:53:01 +0000 Mike Lawson http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/?p=1001 SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "This is the one with a quotation.", url: "http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-with-a-quotation-19.html" });]]>

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]]> http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-with-a-quotation-19.html/feed This is the one about Twitter. http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-about-twitter.html http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-about-twitter.html#comments Wed, 02 Jul 2008 13:48:13 +0000 Mike Lawson http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/?p=999 SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "This is the one about Twitter.", url: "http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-about-twitter.html" });]]>

I know that I’m way behind on this trend…but I’ve started to get into Twitter.  I know that the concept of Twitter is tough to comprehend.  Wikipedia does a good job of explaining the service:

Twitter is a free social networking and micro-blogging service that allows users to send “updates” (or “tweets”; text-based posts, up to 140 characters long) to the Twitter web site, via the Twitter web site, short message service (SMS), instant messaging, or a third-party application such as Twitterrific or Facebook.

Updates are displayed on the user’s profile page and instantly delivered to other users who have signed up to receive them. The sender can restrict delivery to those in his or her circle of friends (delivery to everyone is the default). Users can receive updates via the Twitter website, instant messaging, SMS, RSS, email or through an application. For SMS, four gateway numbers are currently available: short codes for the United States, Canada, and India, as well as a United Kingdom number for international use. Several third parties offer posting and receiving updates via email.

My Twitter Page is: http://www.twitter.com/MrMikeLawson.

Follow me.  I’ll follow you.

I’ve just started using the FuelFrog service to help me track my gas mileage.  I also installed a little plug-in that will post my tweets on the left hand column of this website.

How are you using Twitter?

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]]> http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-about-twitter.html/feed This is the one with a bunch of YouTube links. http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-with-a-bunch-of-youtube-links.html http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-with-a-bunch-of-youtube-links.html#comments Wed, 02 Jul 2008 13:21:20 +0000 Mike Lawson http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/?p=1042 SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "This is the one with a bunch of YouTube links.", url: "http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-with-a-bunch-of-youtube-links.html" });]]>

Every Wednesday I post a handful of links to things that have tickled me from across the World-Wide Web.  Today I’m directing you to a bunch of YouTube vids that amused me.

** The Best Graduation Speech Ever - The title isn’t mine, but I do think this is a pretty good graduation speech.

** Red Sox fan in New York - Love it!  A Boston fan (in Red Sox gear) wanders Yankee stadium with his camera rolling.  CAUTION: Some profanity.

** Slow motion bitch-slap - A slap to the face in super slow motion.  Freaking unbelievable.  Look at his nose!!

** Bohemian Rhapsody A Capella - I heart the UC Men’s Octet.  This is their take on the Queen classic.

** Bush Speech Mistakes - A few (of the hundreds) of Bush’s speech blunders.  Food on your family?  The last one is my favorite because you can see the cogs in his head turning as he tries to think of the saying.

** Defenders of Marriage - Roy Zimmerman performs his funny song about marriage and the people that want to stop me from marrying the person I love.

** Kathy Griffin On The View - Ha!  This is a compilation from The View.  It’s filmed on the day after the Rosie/Elizabeth feud and the guest host is Kathy Griffin.  So great.

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]]> http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-with-a-bunch-of-youtube-links.html/feed This is the one where my underwear disappear. http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-my-underwear-disappear.html http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-my-underwear-disappear.html#comments Tue, 01 Jul 2008 13:05:50 +0000 Mike Lawson http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/?p=997 SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "This is the one where my underwear disappear.", url: "http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-my-underwear-disappear.html" });]]>

This is odd.

I did laundry on Sunday and I realized that I only have three or four pair of good underwear.  Where did they all go?

I’m the type that usually throws underwear out as soon as a tiny hole appears, or the color gets dingy, or the elastic gets tired.  But I haven’t thrown away any underwear in the last four or five months.  In fact, I only remember PURCHASING underwear.

Very, very perplexing.

I do take a lot of trips to Mr. D’s house that included packed bags.  And Mr. D does have some of the same underwear as me.  But I normally keep all of my used underwear in one place when I’m at his place.

I’ve heard of the dryer eating socks…but underwear?!?

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]]> http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-my-underwear-disappear.html/feed This is the one where I want out of the kitchen. http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-i-want-out-of-the-kitchen.html http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-i-want-out-of-the-kitchen.html#comments Mon, 30 Jun 2008 13:55:23 +0000 Mike Lawson http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/?p=957 SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "This is the one where I want out of the kitchen.", url: "http://whatsomewouldcalllies.com/this-is-the-one-where-i-want-out-of-the-kitchen.html" });]]>

It is hot.

This is my first summer here in Arizona, and I’m just getting used to the heat. Today’s high is going to be 110.

I’ve always heard Arizonans talking about the “dry heat” and how it’s much more bearable than a humid heat.  And until this month I’ve never truly understood that.

I was swimming at the YMCA last weekend and I made the mistake of leaving my black flip-flops exposed to the intense sun while doing laps.  I jumped out of the pool and sat down and gathered my things, and realized that my shoes were too hot to wear…so I thought I’ll just run barefoot to the locker room.  MISTAKE.  My feet were sore for a couple of hours.

I’ve also realized that the tap water here comes out warm.

I break a sweat on the walk to my car before work.

It’s summer vacation, and I don’t see a single child playing in the neighborhood around my house.

But things are different here than they were in California.  The people have adapted their lives to the heat.  I am only really exposed to the heat on the journey to and from the car to an air conditioned building.

Still, I miss the thought of a sweater on a cool summer evening in Southern California.

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