WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN ON ????

7 BETTER THINGS TO DO THIS 14TH FEB

2012-02-10T13:00:00.003+05:30

Heres a post I wrote for 'Campusghanta' - an online conglomeration of lazy 'crusaders against stupidity'.

7 Better Things to Do this Valentine's Day:

( Link )

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Disclaimer: Not for the overtly romantic Karan Johar-ish type souls. May disturb them mentally ;)

CONFESSIONS OF A DISGRUNTLED GENIUS

2012-02-06T14:15:00.004+05:30

THE 'HATE' SERIES - PART 1

'Hate' is a big word / phrase. Whoever uses this, is termed as being 'judgmental'. You know what I believe? When you 'hate' someone/ something, you filter out the stupidity from your life. You dont want to listen to or give second chance to something or someone you 'hate'. Thats why its such a useful term and those who say that using it makes you 'judgmental' - are fuckin losers who cant take strong mental decisions.

I hate,

for starters, parents whose small kids create ruckus in planes or trains or any other public place. If you people cant make your children behave in public places, its a statement on YOU- YOUR capabilities as a rational human being. Take a cue from foreigners. While their children respect individual rights, privacy and the sanctity of monuments all around, your children litter around and disturb others. You are bloody weak mentally if you cant even control your own damn children.

I hate

those who listen music loudly in public places. Technological retards dont know about simple something called - EARPHONES. Whenever I encounter such retards, I just want to fire laser guided missiles at their sorry asses.

I hate

preachy people. If you think that you can take the high moral road by preaching those 'values' to others which you dont follow yourself.. you are mistaken buddy. I DONT GIVE A SHIT about your 'preachings'.

I hate

people who think that 'not talking' is equal to 'showing attitude'. Look you attention seeking douchebags- I dont want to strike useless conversations with you on planes and trains. I just wanna enjoy my journey so I keep quiet or better- play games/ watch movies on my ipad. For me, striking useless conversations is bullshit. So, if you think that am someone with "attitude", help yourself. Just keep your useless blabber to self.

I hate

Justin Bieber haters. The case is simple people. I dont like Bieber at all. And I 'prove' that by not giving a fuck about him. But what to say about those who write lengthy blogposts or tweet about how much they hate him? You clearly have too much time on your hands!

I hate

really smug people. So, you own a sea-facing bungalow, an Audi and your undergarments are made of solid gold. Still, if you have no brains, you are useless. Instead of being 'floored' by your smugness, I will simply call up the Tax Dept and watch happily as you are fucked by Tax sleuths.

I hate

chicks who are adults but still behave like barbie-loving sweeties. These are the ones who are found writing "Alle! I didnt know ki you require a confirmed ticket to travel in train! Hehe Silly me! Solly !" and things like that on facebook. Look you morons.. if you are in your fucking 20s but still dont know a shit about the real world, dont think that your uber-"cuteness" will fetch you respect from me. On the contrary, I will view you as a retarded liability on this world.

P.S. I also hate those gay douchebag guys who 'like' these messages and post comments like "Aww sweetey! How cute!"

I hate

.. to end abruptly. But well, ...

. to be continued. Still plenty of things remain that I hate!!

BAN INDIANS FROM OUR MONUMENTS !

2012-01-23T11:51:00.009+05:30

I have found a perfect way to preserve our monuments.

BAN INDIANS FROM ENTERING THE PREMISES!

I know a blanket ban will be quite harsh on genuine travelers (me included) but thats the only logical solution. Stupid people of our country treat national monuments with utmost disgrace. For them, monuments serve only these purposes:

> Find a secluded corner and make out like sexually starved idiots
> "Declare" your love by writing on the walls

Take a look:

(Image courtesy: http://www.fullstopindia.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Grafitti-at-an-old-palace-in-Himachal-Pradesh.jpg)

And ---

[BTW, I proclaim that this Rakesh dude (the bugger who wrote the below graffiti) is a TOP LEVEL GANDU.]

(Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/chromatic_aberration/3349999825/)

Also>>

(Image source: http://richlandtalk.blogspot.com )

One thing which I will never understand is that how can foreigners treat our monuments so well while we treat them like shit? I remember my visit to the majestic Aurangabad caves. And there I noticed a highly repulsive scene. Some small kid wanted to pee so his mother asked him to do it right there - on cave walls. Not even some secluded corner but in full view, inside the grand-est of caves.

Frankly, there is only one way to 'teach' civility to Indians in general. Ban them from monuments for some time. Only non-Indians should be allowed. Assholes will mend their ways only when they feel the shame upon being banned from their own monuments.

(Original image source- w/o the added text - thedelhiwalla.com )

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SORRY MUMBAI, YOU ARENT A METRO !

2011-12-22T22:29:00.006+05:30

Alright, I am back after a long hiatus. If someone even compares me to a polar bear who hibernates for 6 months, I wouldnt be surprised. Btw, let me start by asking- "Does anyone still read this blog?"

Anyhow, back to the topic.... An Open Letter infact.

DEAR MUMBAI,

Its not that I dislike you. Its just that when you claim you are a mteropolis, it becomes hard to digest. I have nothing against you. Infact, I admire your famed 'spirit'. I also admire the super confidence with which your inhabitants claim that the Eastern Express Highway (EEH) is the best fuckin road of the world. Its another matter that they fall totally silent when they visit Delhi and see the average roads. I wont even go into how they feel when they see the best ones.

P.S. I am enclosing three pics of our roads here for your kind reference:

And just so you know Mumbai - I dont like Sonam Kapoor and Firstpost either. They have said things against you (Link 1 , Link 2) but I agree only 90% with them - not 100%! See, I say again - I dont dislike you. You know, in August this year, I had the option of choosing either you or Kerala as the destination for an official training. And I chose you. Its a different matter that I missed the opening session of the training because Rajdhani reached Mumbai Central late as it was pouring rockets and tracks were all filled up (as usual no?). But hey! I didnt get angry at all. I know its hard when you only have two seasons in an year - Rainy & Non-rainy.

And I am sorry I cant support your claim that you maynot have a winter season but atleast you are less hotter than Delhi during summers. You see, I cant feel the heat of Delhi's summers while traveling in AC Metro, no? Acha, heres a picture. Aint this the 'coolest' ? :)

But Mumbai, sometimes.. it becomes hard. Hard to control laughter, that is. I swear that every time when some Mumbai-ite says that his/her city is the future Shangai, I try very earnestly to control my laughter. But I fail every time :( . Damn! My apologies for that.

Acha yar, whats with your so called famed 'paani-puri?' I had that somewhere near Sion and immediately I knew why Delhi rules in food! It was.... umm..... to put it mildly... not good. And I am never ordering a 'thaali' again in any of your restaurants :( . Let me explain this by using an Einstein type equation:

Mumbai's 'thaali' = 1/4 (Delhi's 'thaali') in quantity

And from Webster-

Mumbai's chapati (noun) : Something that can ONLY be seen through a magnifying glass.

But you know what? I loved your airport. I mean its such a cute, small place. In Delhi, we have the new amazing Terminal-3 which is the size of a city. And there you have- a tiny cute airport. Aww!

Now I agree, theres one 'thing' you have a little edge in. The People (ofcourse only those who dont run after people from UP-Bihar with 'Weapons of Mass Destruction' in their hands). But we are working on it. Actually, the problem lies in the fact that while you deal majorly with Marathi Manoos-es, we have to deal with 10000 different Manoos-es. The 'floating population' here is waaay more than what you have. Hence, the crimes etc. Also, our CM doesnt 'own' Delhi police- Home ministry does. Thats a real ass-pain. I mean, Chidambaram uncle cant seem to handle his own 2G case properly. And he handles the police of the National Capital. Imagine !!!

Acha, chalo. I will go now. Lots of work. Hope you like my letter. Lots of love from our side :)

Cheers!

- Disgruntled Genius.

REACTIONS OF OUR 'CELEBRITIES' TO GADDAFI'S DEATH

2011-10-20T20:30:00.005+05:30

Gaddafi is dead. And it deepens this mystery -

Why the fuck all dictators get killed while hiding in some drain or hole? Saadam was killed in same fashion..now Gaddafi. Fuckin rats all.

Anyhows, the point of the post is the reaction of our "celebrities'" / famous people Gaddafi's death. So.....Have a look:

PM Manmohan Singh:

O baincho ! Thank god, we are a democracy! Otherwise Anna and his supporters would have come marching to 7,Race Course Road with guns!!

Shah Rukh Khan:

Cool! Now I can add to Ra.1 promotion OVERKILL by launching this new shit::

Digvijay Singh

Am sure its RSS Conspiracy! And am sure, I spotted Arvind Kejriwal somewhere near Gaddafi's dead body. Hes also involved! Team Anna is corrupt.. RSS is corrupt... all are corrupt. Except Rahul baba.

Rahul Gandhi

Hmm. Wonder whats Mummy's take on this.

L. K. Advani

I shall launch a new "Libya Chalo" yatra.

Rakhi Sawant

I was toh thinking of marrying Gaddafi after Ramdev refused me . SHIT! :( :( .

Sachin Tendulkar

Aila !

Chetan Bhagat

I shall write another idiotic, brainless, pseudo-intellectual romantic shit involving Gaddafi and his buxom female bodyguards!

A. Raja

What the bhen? He should have fleed to our jails! Would have been much safer here no?

Kanimozhi

I agree with Raja !!