In my days here in Nashville I haven’t had a lot of time to ride but that has changed in the last month due to the incredibly slow economic situation. Riding is like running but with the option to coast, not to mention you can drink water while you ride which is really hard to do while running. The exercise that you get on a bike is second to none, it is great for the joints and really gets the old heart a-beatin.

There is one down fall to riding my bike, there is not a lot of places to ride. When I ride to the gym I have to take some pretty busy main roads. Nashville is pretty good about having bike lanes in the street, which I appreciate, thanks Nashville! No matter how you ride you end up riding for your life when you are up against some of these crazy drivers.

When I first started riding my bike around town I rode through stop lights, on the opposite side of the road, and pretty much did whatever I wanted. This nearly got me killed so I switched to following the rules of the road… you know, like cars do. Doing this has made things a little better, I still nearly die every time I take out my bike.

Just the other day I was riding down a neighborhood street about 5 minutes from home and a truck took up the entire street to back up. No problem right? Surely, he will look both ways for kids, dogs or full grown men on bikes… wrong! He didn’t even look once and I was going about 30 MPH as I moved to the other side of the road riding now into traffic trying to slow down. This is when he decided to give the truck a little more gas and nearly knocked me right into a pile of brush. I turned around and glared at him, he just stuck his head out of the truck and yelled “sorry”. Sorry… really? You nearly killed me, I would have died in a pile of brush!

So I thought I was in the clear and I make it down the road about 2 miles. I am obeying the rules of the road as I am riding through a green light watching for turn signals. There was no turn signals so I start riding hard to get up the hill before traffic gets there when all of a sudden I look down and see this car (with no turn signal on) turning into my leg. I look at the driver like “really?… you are going to hit me”, she honked her horn at me like I was a punk kid running across the street. If my life wasn’t on the line I would have stopped right there and we would have, I would have… well let’s just say we would have had some words.

What to do about riding your bike is this, watch out for the crazies out there, avoid main streets and always wear full football pads everywhere you go. Because let’s face it, a helmet is not going to do much!

Today’s best Facebook statuses currently being used by my friends (on Facebook that is) are listed below.

(names will remain anonymous)

1.) “there’s something about an Arby’s “Roastburger” that terrifies me.” - (There nothing about an Arby’s Roastburger that gives me peace.)
2.) “”You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” ~ Winnie the Pooh” - (Pooh brings people together.)
3.) “The bassist from The Chariot just told me that he’s the mascot for the Kansas City Chiefs. So good! Go to YouTube and search KC Wolf. Haha” - (Or just click here.)
4.) “Alaska has 33,000 miles of coastline. THIRTY-THREE THOUSAND.” - (What a random yet informative post.)
5.) ” listening to “The Moon Is Down” and feeling good. :)” - (Yes, such a great album, reading this status made me feel good.)
6.) “So 2009 is 50% completed…hope the back half will be as good as the first half has been.” - (That’s what I usually say when eating an organic uncured beef hotdog.)
7.) “Still sick but that steroid pill really seems to beat the crap out of the bronchitis. Might almost feel better tomorrow.”
8.) “is celebrating 2 years of marriage today! I love you, Alex, and I have loved the last 731 days as your wife!” - (So either one year was a leap year or the first day wasn’t good.)
9.) “Just had a fire drill at work and they gave us POPSICLES!” - (If they were from Las Paletas I would wanna have a fire drill every day!)
10.) “nothing is on my mind” - (but what are you thinking?)

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My son loves getting the mail now because his grandma insists on spoiling him through snail mail, but it reminds me of my youth. Getting the mail has taken a new road in my mind, one filled with dirty business marketing and deutsch (yes deutsch) bag chain letters.

Just last week my wife got the mail and as I walked in the door she handed me something I have seen way too many times, a flyer for something free from a car lot. These flyers would come to us all the time as a kid and I can remember my dad always being taken by them. We would all load up into the ford escort and drive to the local car lot and once there you would see these fat middle aged men in ties everywhere asking you all kinds of questions. We would then go on a test drive and us kids would get all excited about getting a new car when my dad would say “thanks anyways” and walk out.

Little did I know this is when they actually gave away free stuff like: DVD players (VCRs back then), jewelry (crappy sparklies), and gift certificates to pizza hut. Ah, this was the reason we just spent $15 on gas and about 2.5 hours at the stupid car lot, for a free one topping pizza! My dad was a sucker for free stuff, at least I learned about snake-like car salesman, thanks dad.

So yeah, she got the mail and there was a car lot flyer in it and there were promises of free stuff, which instantly reminded me of the old days with dad and the free pizza. Here on this lot you could win a car, a dream vacation, and at the very least a gift card to walmart. And there it was… the only thing you need to say to a mother of two… walmart. I don’t know what happened but there was this shift in her eyes, like she just won the mommies lottery. Diapers would fall from the sky and the kiddie pool would be filled with organic applesauce, pure euphoria. That’s when she said it “you know you have to go down there for me” to which I replied “nope”, but there was something about the way she said “I will KILL you in your sleep!” that quickly changed my mind.

After putting it off most of the weekend my wife texted me after work yesterday to tell me that “you still have that flyer?” followed by ” You should go, if you want… it’s up to you”. I smell a trap! What that means to all you single fellahs out there that think that marriage is a naked trip through paradise… where your wife cooks for you anytime you want and you never have to leave the couch… that meant you better go or I am going to cry. So I went all the way down there and I must admit that I was starting to feel a little hopeful, thinking of buying a case of beer if we got a gift card and that would be nice since it was 95 degrees outside and my ac was not working.

I pull into the parking lot and before I shut off the car there was a little latino dude standing right behind my car, vultures! I felt like dead meat on the side of the road! He quickly introduced himself and asked me what I was looking to drive away in, I replied “a walmart gift card” he then took the flyer away from me and said “oh, this is just a marketing flyer that we use to get people to come to the store”. Before he could say “come inside” I had already started to walk back to the car. He was saying “sir, sir please wait” I turned and said “thanks and you can keep the flyer”. I haven’t been that mad since the Steelers won the super bowl, not cool man, not cool.

There are two lessons to learn here 1) throw away spam mail even if it is in your mail box 2) remember leverage is what brings a marriage together…. well, not really, but anyway. Soon as I got home I told her that I was mad and that I get to write about this, and she said “fine”. Stupid, shady car salesman!

My kids are crazy too, they are always screaming and crying at night like the house is going to burn down. I thought this would go away after a couple of years but to no avail. My 1 year old is still learning that we sleep at night and not play, he is young and gets a free pass. But the 5 year old
is going to end up sleeping outside with the fishes, seriously.

Getting me out of bed is a chore, but when you get a kick to the kidney from the wife, you get up real quick. it’s like being kicked by a mule with heels on. Once I go upstairs the boy freezes and lays back down before I can say anything. That is unless he is having a bad dream and then I have to shake him to wake him up and then he doesn’t know what happened. The whole things is driving me nuts, he only cries because he know his mom will come up stairs and hold him. I will not do that, you see night time is for sleeping… not yelling.

I am exploring my options for this problem, it is unique and it needs a different type of answer. I am thinking about putting a bed in the basement with a tennis ball on a chain to stick in the boys mouth. No? Was that wrong? Should I not have said that?

I have another idea! We can make him sleep in the closet, that way we can’t hear him scream, but I guess that does not solve the problem now does it?

What if I got him one of the barking dog collars that gives you a slight shock after you make a sound? That would work, don’t you think? Yes, I know it would be inhumane, but so is waking the whole house because you have to pee.

If you think of a way to take care of this problem then I am all ears, but you better hurry before I lose the rest of my hearing from these screaming kids. I could have sworn they were boys…

For twenty years Jeremy was a meteorologist with channel 5 news in Oklahoma City. He was a regular on the storm chasing team and documented several major tornadoes including two F5’s. He then worked for five years at NASA continuing to study weather and help to ensure safety in satellite and shuttle launches. Now, luckily for us, he has decided to settle down in Nashville, TN.

Now, you know us here at What To Do About like the weather. If you have ever read the WTDA Weekly then this is not news to you. The weather is always changing and is always good to talk about because it is always new. So what is the point of this article? Well, being that we like to know the forecast for the day, Jeremy has offered to provide us and our readers a daily forecast so that we can best know how to prepare for the day.

We will let you know the daily forecast as only we at WhatToDoAbout.com can. Most likely it will be via Twitter, so if you don’t follow WhatToDoAbout on twitter then you can do so here. The updates will also be posted on the website.

Now for a word from our main meteorologist:
“Hello What To Do About readers, it’s good to be with you. Between the guys at What To Do About and my wife constantly nagging, I figured I had better give the fans what they want and give me some peace and quiet.

As you already know, I have had quite the career but I have enjoyed it mainly because it keeps me out of the house. If it is not too much trouble, indulge this old man by reading my weather updates on What To Do About.com. Kind wishes, best regards to you… don’t let the door hit you on your college attending, ipod toting, twitter updating, emo pants wearing keister.” - Jeremy

“The weather is on tap and I am thirsty and it’s free!”

“The breeze was blowing, the sun was shining, and fair maidens were singing in the distance.”

“it’s raining cats and dogs right now. Well, not really… it’s raining water. Stupid cats and dogs.”

Today’s best Facebook statuses currently being used by my friends (on Facebook that is) are listed below.

(names will remain anonymous)

1.) “Lotion stand guy at the mall tried to talk to me, said it wasn’t about lotion. I asked what is it about. He said “ummm, something else?”"
2.) “It is better to destroy than to create something meaningless” - (WhatToDoAbout.com brings meaning to nothing.)
3.) “can’t believe I am home before 11. Time for Yuengling and e-mails on the balcony.” - (I never see emails on my balcony, guess I just need to keep my eyes open.)
4.) “is getting things done; knocking tasks off the to do list right and left. mostly left.” - (I knock mine off in the middle sometimes.)
5.) “Whole Foods, you complete me!”
6.) “My power just went out and I can’t find my pants.” - (As long as your pants don’t go out and you can’t find your power.)
7.) “Double ugh with a side of ugh.” - (UghUgh, ugh)
8.) “Enjoyed a great morning walk with my husband.” - (I’ll give you 3 guesses who the husband is.)
9.) “one minute you’re chompin on a burger, the next minute you’re dead meat.”
10.) “I run in the pack of awesome…” - (Yeah, you keep bumpin’ into me gosh darn it!)

Become a fan of WhatToDoAbout.com on Facebook right here!

Getting through life without your friends can be tough as well. It is always nice to have someone to tell you that you are not crazy, or in my case that I am crazy. My friends have a special way of telling me that what I want to do is not cool, by not showing up! Which is all right I guess except for the fact that I am always doing what they want. Am I whining too much? Well nobody is forcing you to read this… ok don’t leave, I will stop, I will do what you want.

Even though I have a lot to complain about I can say that I have the best friends in the whole world. And if that isn’t cheesy then nothing is. No but seriously, my friends have been responsible for a lot of good things in my life, I am sure you would like to know? Well too bad, I am going to tell you anyway, things like: introducing me to my wife, in turn also responsible (indirectly) for my kids, I have one friend that has made me love football, as well as one friend that acts like he doesn’t like anything I do… but he still comes to my house all the time, not to mention the friends that I am playing pranks on… these friends are especially great because they keep coming back for more.

Having said that they still stand me up, and I don’t know why. So what am I going to do about it? Well, I guess I will have to be more clever with either the pranks (payback) or finding better things to do, whether I like it or not. From here on out I will start building a set of friends that will do whatever I want to do plus the friends that I know will be there no matter what. This will be cool but I will have to make sure they never meet because if they do we may have some drifters, side swappers if you will. This will only lead to disaster if I am as bad at picking things to do as my friends think I am. I won’t stand a chance.

Oh well, I guess I will go to the ale fest, or swim in the river, or go see any movie with Vin Diesel in it on my own. Oh yeah, one last thing, you guys should come over tonight we are going streaking, don’t worry everyone will be there.

That’s what I hear around Nashville… well at least the melody to the song. Yes it is coming from a once classic fixation of American society: the ice cream truck. I have to be honest though… they kind of creep me out.

First you have the the old beat up orange trucks that don’t look very clean and they have a creepy vibe. Second they play creepy music like “the entertainer” and “pop goes the weasel”. Now those songs aren’t necessarily creepy in and of themselves but when they are coming from a dirty old ice cream truck and the speakers sound absolutely awful such that the notes are eerily distorted… then it sounds like a serial killer is about to offer you ice cream.

So I have some suggestions for you and what to do about the ice cream truck. First off… run. Run damn it and don’t look back. Second, if you are brave, evaluate the truck and the operator of the truck carefully. If they seem ok then ask to read some of the ingredients on the ice cream… then RUN… run damn it and don’t look back. Third, if you are ambitious, find out who is running this operation and make him/her an offer they can’t refuse. Explain to them that the trucks need to be very clean and nice and pretty. Also, explain to them that they should invest in some better speaker systems and music. Also, explain to them that they should sell premium ice cream that has whole food ingredients that will be better for their clientele (little kids).

I have a dream! Just think of all the wonderful goodness that could be rolling around Nashville! The ice cream would flow like wine and children would instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano! Then… instead of a pedophile handing you a peanut butter pop, you could have a nice sweet grandpa feeding you frozen rays of sunshine! I have a dream…

Recently I just visited my sister who now lives several hours away from me and as I opened her fridge all of the feelings came flooding back. Yes, I have been there several times but this time was different. You see… just having a full fridge does not really constitute a “well-stocked” fridge. When I see a well stocked fridge there is a plethora of life giving, vibrant, vivacious foods! A well stocked fridge nourishes those it calls and allows those it calls to be generous and nourish others.

A well stocked fridge is like a happy man, when both are full there is a quiet hum. So here are some tips for a well stocked fridge:

There needs to be plenty of color! Reds, Greens, Purples, Whites, Oranges, Yellows… not many blacks.

There needs to be lots of living foods! You are a living being. Shocker, I know, but it’s true. So not too many cooked or processed foods. Living stuff.

There needs to be a nice balance of high quality food. Vegetables, fruit, dairy, sprouted whole grains, nuts (if they need refrigeration), grassfed/pastured meat and poultry, etc.

I like my women like I like my fridge, packed full of goodness! 


The movies there are much like the movies we see at the uppity movie theater at the other end of town, wait a second… they are exactly the same! The movie theater on the other side of town in the “uppity, I am to good for you because I drive a bimmer” neighborhood is 10 minutes further and doesn’t have the neon lights and security guards. So I guess it’s not “ghetto”, but why not? Well herein lies the reason for this article, what does a ghetto theatre have that any other theater does not?

Lets make a list, and yes… check it twice! Ghetto theater amenities:

1. Movies (check)
2. Clean restrooms (I remember when this was all it took for an establishment to be considered great, those were the days)
3. Sticky floors (just like every movie theater and ball park ever built)
4. Arcade ( Any self respecting theater owner can get with this)
5. Heaping Mound of Popcorn ( nothing says entertainment like butter on your pants and salt burning your lips)
6. Over priced tickets ( seriously $8 for one movie?)
7. Plenty of parking ( Ok there is more at the other movie theater but I hardly think this counts)
8. Ten minutes closer to my house ( Oh this counts because it counts)

So there you go, a list of things that the “ghetto” theater has. Now, don’t you want to go see a movie there? I know I do, as a matter of fact I think I will this weekend. But if something happens to me, really… say goodbye to my family for me. Ghetto! Ha! I didn’t see any spinners in the parking lot, there wasn’t any ammunition for sale at the concession stand, there weren’t any “friendly females” waiting by my car offering to take me for a ride. There was only pure un-adulterated entertainment! And did I mention that it’s really close?