What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out

Let Him See That You've Moved On

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 15:36:00 +0000

The last thing you want anyone thinking is that you are a desperate old nag. It is not good for your reputation and bad for your self esteem.

I promise you that if you chase your ex, you will feel very bad about yourself but if you hold your head high and do the walk, you'll eventually feel better.

But first you have to allow your emotions to pay the price instead of your self esteem.

What am I talking about here?

Well, the feelings that keep compelling you to re-attach yourself to someone whose attraction for you have diminished. The truth is that the attraction between the both of you went south. Well, for your ex, that is.

It is attraction that keeps people together - the magnet that draws and binds. Then beyond this are feelings of attachment that grows from experiencing things together.

So if you want to really "attract" the person who's wanting out, you cannot continue to operate from self hate. This person will smell desperation even in your energy if you are acting desperate.

Everything about you must shift from "low" to "high" energy. The sort of energy that I am talking about here has everything to do with the amount of focus you take off of this person and put on yourself.

The secret is taking the focus off of this person and putting it on you. Becoming a happier, successful, fun person without this person in your life.

You'll be amazed at what shifting from low energy like begging, pleading, nagging and complaining can do for your self esteem and your attraction potential.

Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out, - a guide to help you make your breakup work for you. Learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure. Go to http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com for an instant download now.

Did Your Man Have the Breakup Talk?

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 21:26:00 +0000

Did your man have the talk about wanting to see other people or needing a break?

I've got news for you. He wants to break up because there is no longer any internal attraction.

The magnet that draws men and women together is the attraction of both the outer and the inner world. Many women use the outer world to try to hook a man. They do not understand that a man can hang around, sleep with them, love their company and STILL not think about even wanting a relationship.

Yikes! A huge wakeup call if you've been his regular sex partner. A huge blow if you're the kind of feminist who believes that sleeping with a man has nothing to do with being in love.

A man wants to feel attraction for a woman inside of him. He might get happy to look at externals but what really keeps him coming back for more is the strong attraction he feels for the woman he's with. This is called emotional attraction. That something about a woman that pushes him towards her.

So your man might have initially pushed himself towards you but the reason why he's moving away is because that initial attraction decreased. A man won't leave if his attraction feeling level is high.

But don't go feeling like an idiot by making yourself responsible for how a man feels. You must be yourself no matter what and if that means that he's no longer attracted to the person you have become, well so what?

Let him walk!

Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out, - a guide to help you make your breakup work for you. Learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure. Go to http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com for an instant download now.

I Dare You To Believe That You Deserve Love

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 04:52:00 +0000

It takes a certain kind of faith, a certain type of will, a certain type of individual to really believe in love in the face of an uncertain situation like a breakup.

If you believe in the little things that make up a relationship and the big moments that comes with it, then you are right to believe that and surely the very things that you believe in will come.

But it may not come in the face who's walking out on you. It may not come in the voice that's telling you - you are unwanted. It may not come in the arms that reject you and it may not come in the dream of trying to hold a broken relationship together. But it will come.

It will come if you don't give up on you and it will come if you continue to believe in love, loyalty, fidelity, faith, purpose, passion. It will come if you believe that you deserve better, that you were born to experience a higher love, a constant love, a never ending love and a love that believes in the face of uncertainty.

This will come to you if you let go, if you begin to command self respect, if you stop begging, if you stop trying to get someone to love you, if you stop trying to reason with someone who no longer wants you.

It will surely come if you draw a line in the sand and say no more to mistreatment. It will surely come if you cut off the supply of belittlement. It will surely come if you grip the arms of failure and say that you will win inspite of it all.

It will come when you dare to believe in you.

Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out, - a guide to help you make your breakup work for you. Learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure. Go to http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com/ for an instant download now

The Mistakes You Could Be Making While Dealing With Your Breakup

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 20:17:00 +0000

I've had the chance to help literally hundreds of people know how to handle a breakup based on my personal experience. My breakup was pretty UGLY - not to say that there are any pretty breakups.

You have the mutual breakups, breakups caused by betrayal like cheating or if you're faced with what I was faced with - a partner wanting out of the relationship.

Rejection is not something that is easy for humans to take. You've got to be pretty together to know how to handle a BAD and very messy breakup. You know the kind that goes in the mud where you and your partner are at such opposite ends that you can't imagine ever being with this person.

My breakup was sort of like that and more. Worst of all, it involved my two kids, ages 10 months and 5 at the time. Among other things, I was left on maternity benefits to fend for myself and needless to say that I was literally shaken with fear about my future.

So I did the worst form of disgraceful behavior possible, I appeased my husband and tolerated mountains upon mountains of disrespect because deep on the inside I had hoped that he would see the light and want to have our relationship and family back intact.

Are you making some very fatal mistakes right now dealing with your partner who wants out or with an EX? If you don't know what to you, you too may be viewed like the plague which will earn you even more disrespect and cause your partner to run for cover.

I've put together an e-book to help you know exactly what to do and how to react to a drifting partner or an EX. I want you to be armed with the right information to help you become more attractive, happier and secure. If these strategies worked for me, they can work for you.

Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out, - a guide to help you make your breakup work for you. Learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure.

Go to http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com for an instant download now.

Men Don't Take Breaks, They Breakup

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 15:43:00 +0000

Did your man had the chat with you about needing to take a break while still telling you how much he loves you?

Are you wanting to believe that he really does and just needs time to figure things out?

Let me be very honest with you and decode what he means when he either texted you, sent you an email, called you on the phone or told you in person that he'll be busy, wants a break etc.

He means he wants to move on.

When a man's really into a woman, he won't take a break. He'll always want to be around her. If your man is taking a break from you, do not go into denial and hold out for him to change his mind. And under NO circumstance should you wait for him.

Women shouldn't wait for men. Men pursue women and try to win their attention. Men are made to chase, to fight, to go after you. So sitting and believing that your boyfriend really wants a break will cause you to hang on to a fantasy of him really wanting you. It's not so.

Please do not even utter the words by telling him that you'll wait for him or you'll fight for your relationship. These words will cause a man to immediately press the delete button in his mind about you forever.

The best way to deal with your boyfriend/husband wanting to take a break is to also take a break from him.

Then what you should do is to get a new hair cut, buy yourself some diva clothes, change your makeup and strut your stuff away from him so that he knows for sure that you are BIG enough to do life without him.

Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out, - a guide to help you make your breakup work for you. Learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure.
Go to http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com for an instant download now.

Trying to Save Your Relationship

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:38:00 +0000

This article is written for all the women who are fighting to save their relationships. I want to tell you that I'm here for you but I want to let you know something else.

Women CAN be warriors, but we're not made for war.

You don't have to fight for love.

Men are made to fight, hunt, pursue, chase. This is how they are wired.

If you've made it clear to your man that you want to try again, that you want to save your relationship but he is not on the same page, put your sword down.

You are strong, brave and couragious for wanting to stick it out to the end. Those are qualities that are admirable. You have enough love to give.

Your man's lack of response is his way of telling you that he no longer deserves you.

Because of your unconditional love that doesn't quit, you need someone who can partner with you on that level, not wasting your time with someone who does not deserve you.

Be proud of your warrior heart but move forward and you will embrace a man who's a true king.
This man will appreciate you, love you, serve you, honor you, cherish you, and spend his life in partnership with you, giving you all of what you want.

Do not tolerate or settle for having someone who will give you only a piece of themselves. Quit fighting for your man and fight for yourself. This is the heart of a true Warrior Woman. She fights for her self-respect.

You deserve true love and I believe in you.

Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out, - a guide to help you make your breakup work for you. Learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure. Go to http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com for an instant download now.

Breakup - I May Be a Fighter but I'm Not a Fool

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 06:47:00 +0000

If you've already had the "talk" with your drifting boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, or your Ex about wanting to save your relationship, you'll need to read on to find out why you may be making some critical mistakes.

It's important to know the temperature of where you really are in your ability to influence your partner. Being a fighter is a good quality that is until it causes you to become a fool.

When you begin to make foolish decisions that will cause your partner to disconnect even further from you, you'll either get nasty or you'll try to appease.

Either of these choices won't get you what you want. You want a quality relationship with someone who can truly be committed.

When my husband wanted out, I became painfully foolish, enough to cause me to be on the verge of losing myself. I told him that I would fight for him and our family no matter what.

Does that sound familiar? Making an announcement like this will trigger your partner to begin an even greater disconnect from you.

Because healthy relationships are built when both parties are equals. If you're not on the same team, you can't win.

You can get on the same team as your partner by behaving exactly like him/her. When this happens, you'll start to agree with his/her position of your failing relationship.

You're thinking in your mind that this will cause you to lose even more. You may not want to let go but you'll be forced to and disgraced if you continue to announce that you're the fighter.

Getting on the same team will give you the advantage of actually looking like someone who has self respect. When you acknowledge your partners position, he/she will begin to respect you.

People like people who agree with them. Even if you're feeling the extreme opposite, it's wise to pull with your partner instead of against his/her decision.

Create the illusion that you're OK, then pull away. This technique will give your relationship room to breathe and your partner time to think about why you don't seem to be bothered that he/she wants to leave.

Do you know what it will do to your partner if you act as if he/she wanting to leave doesn't bother you? Your partner will clearly see that you won't lower yourself to being a foolish beggar and will give him/her more than enough to think about.

Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out, - a guide to help you make your breakup work for you. Learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure. http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com for an instant download now.

Dealing With A Breakup

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 23:17:00 +0000

I've written over 50 articles on how to deal with a breakup and by far the number 1 mistake people often make is moving towards someone who wants to move away from them.

The emotional pull can be intoxicating. If you're here, you will have to bear down under the weight of your emotions which can cause you to make some fatal mistakes.

Pay the price to move away by doing whatever it takes to convert your energy into something else. This is called channeling.

Push your emotions into something other than working on trying to fix your relationship when the person you love wants to go.

Go with the flow and let them go.

This may not be what you want to hear. But do you know what happens when people fight? When we fight against something, it gives it more negative energy and putting negative energy into fixing your relationship is not the way to go.

Instead, put your pain into something that can cause you to be transformed into a brand new person and you will gain the sort of self respect that will cause you to reinvent your persona and become the person you're meant to be because of your pending breakup.

This always works.

Nicole Gayle is the author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out, written to help you make your breakup work for you. Get it now at www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com

How To Pull Someone Towards You

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 13:02:00 +0000

If you've understand the dynamics of balance of how relationships work, then you will know that in order to get somone away from you who do not desire to be with you, you press towards them.

When you press towards someone who no longer wants to be in a relationship, there is a stifling of free will that would cause a relationship to naturally blossom.

However, if you want to pull someone towards you, you press away from them. Moving away is what creates enough friction and free will to fling the person in your direction.

But this does not mean this will always happen. It is the best strategy however, much more full of integrity than crying, whining, manipulation or blatant disrespect.

Using the concept that humans want what humans can't have, you will see that when something is valued, it is hard to come by.

If you want to create value, you need to move away from your Ex or drifting partner until he/she willingly desire to have a relationship with you.

This moving away also creates a number of opportunities for you, in that, it may and more than likely will cause you to grow into a deeper self, what I call reinvention.

The person of who you are while involved in your relationship was not able to draw or sustain a connection so in order to form a new connection, you need to become a better "YOU."

But be careful that this is not done to make someone love you but pursuing true self love which is the only healthy foundation to build a relationship on.

Start by growing into a deeper and more whole individual by choosing to let go of trying to change someone or make them want you. Do whatever it takes to achieve true personal and spiritual growth by evaluating who you are now and what you need to do to change into a new "YOU."

First stop, go to your local library or bookstore and pick up a book on personal growth. Read it and apply it to your life and begin to grow into a strong person who can form and create true lasting relationships.

Nicole Gayle is the author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out - written to help you make your breakup work for you. Get it now at www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com

Did Your Man Leave Your For Ugly?

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 01:14:00 +0000

There's the Good, Bad and Ugly in the world of Hollywood movies but when it comes to relationships, you have the good, very bad, and dreadfully ugly.

If you're the good woman, then let me ask you a question. Did you suffer a horrific type of betrayal that you didn't see coming? - the kind that hit you like a tornado and has left you to feel like road kill?

Are you wondering if you'll ever be happy again and trying to get your man back in order to make him want to have a relationship with you again?

If you were cheated on then dumped, you may be experiencing shock, depression, loss of appetite, and desperately want to reconnect with your almost Ex. You probably can't see your way out.

But here's the hardest pill to shallow. Did your man leave you for an "Ugly" - meaning a low class call girl type who doesn't have a life, drive, ambition also used to being a friend with benefits that by the time your man got to her he was her number 200?

If so, why are you trying to get your man to come back to you after he's left you for "Ugly?"
He's already shown you that he prefers to be with an "Ugly" and that he had to go down low in order to push himself up. He's telling you that he doesn't deserve you and he would rather be with someone who he can feel powerful with.

When some men leave good women, they have to go down "low" in order to appease their guilt of abandonment because the low will be the doormat that he can do anything and get away with.

This sort of person will make him feel like a god because she doesn't even respects herself to think about the feelings of others. All she wants is him and all he needs is her.

Stop trying to chase after your man to try to convince him to have the emotional intelligence to cherish a beautiful person like yourself and let him and the "Ugly" stay together because they deserve each other.

Learned how I rose up from being shattered by the act of betrayal to an "Ugly" and became happier, more attractive and secure.

Nicole Gayle is the author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out, - a guide to help you make your breakup work for you. Learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure. Go to http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com for an instant download now.

When the Dust Settles After a Breakup

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 22:15:00 +0000

Breaking up is hard to do and it's not just a cliché. It's gut wrenching, depressing, and emotionally draining. If you add the financial ramifications of a split, we're talking about a never to be forgotten life changing experience.

I've been there and that's why I want to help you.

It's difficult to see your way when the wind is blowing the dust all around you. It's like being in a sandstorm except it is your very real life, your feelings, your family and your future.

So this is why it is critical to make decisions, not based on your present circumstances, but based on facts. You may have heard it before, read about it, searched online looking for answers about what to do.

The reality is that you need to contain your inner world in order for you not to have a complete meltdown. How good you become in containing your inner world will tell you how you will fair in the face of a breakup. If you do not do what it takes to get grounded on the inside, you will continue to live in turmoil.

When the dust settles, you want to come out ahead, meaning happier, healthier and prosperous.
Even though my breakup was the most shocking and devastating experience of my life, I can say that I am happier because now that the dust has settled, I've fallen in love with me.

I followed some key strategies that worked. Want to know how I did it, check out my website and e-book below.

I value your feedback, if you have a comments or suggestions, post it here or send an email to help@whenyourpartnerwantsout.com

Nicole Gayle is the author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out, - a guide to help you make your breakup work for you. Learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure. Go to http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com for an instant download now.

Are You Fighting For Your Man?

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 20:59:00 +0000

If your man has left you or wants to leave, you’re more than likely feeling utterly devastated. You wanted your relationship to last and may be looking for a number of ways to get him back.

But before you continue trying to get someone to love you, I want to help you understand male psychology.

I am not a man, but I have been through a shocking and devastating breakup that left me feeling like road kill and there are secrets that you need to know about how men work in relationships and particularly when it comes to wanting out.

When you don’t understand these secrets, you will become like someone who a man wants to put a restraining order against.

I know you don’t think your man is like that, but first let me tell you although you were together and you thought of him as your boyfriend or husband, he’s first and foremost “male.”

And he’ll instinctly respond in certain ways when it comes to relationships. As a woman, you may have not taken the time to understand this on a much deeper level because you’ve been used to being around each other and have gotten used to the way he responds.

But in the world of male psychology, a woman should never fight for a man. It wont make sense to you as a woman because we are wired to nurture and care for others and we think that trying to convince a man equates to caring. This won’t work for you.

Have you seen how plenty of women once they get into a relationship try to change the man they are with? Well, men secretly fear this. They actually don’t want women to change them. In the world of male speak, female nagging will only cause male rebellion.

And this is why your man is pulling further and further away from you. When men feel unwanted pressure, they self-preserve in order to keep their power. This is why the need to get away from you is even stronger.

So trying to convince him to love you will do more harm than good. When he hears you, he’ll feel the need to bolt as this is a sign that you’re still trying to “change” him.

Nicole Gayle is the author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out - written to help you make your breakup work for you. Get your confidence back now. Instant download at www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com

Your Ex or Soon to Be Ex and Your Connection

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Fri, 30 May 2008 02:38:00 +0000

Your Ex or soon to be feels done with you.

You don’t feel done so you want to keep your relationship in the undone phase. But there’s a reason why it’s come to where it is now.

Let me explain wiring. Wiring is a connection that you made with your partner when you decided to be in a relationship together.

When the relationship is broke, wires have a way of not being able to connect to each other. There’s a shortage somewhere.

Re-wiring is what needs to happen within you or what I like to call reinvention. See your signals will be crossed if you don’t reinvent yourself. Meaning, digging deep beyond the brokenness of your relationship to figure out why you are apart of something broken.

You cannot build a relationship until your internal signals are re-aligned so forget about trying to re-connect with your drifting partner or Ex based on your previous connection with him/her.

It won’t work. There’s an independent “you” and a relationship “you” – who you are on your own and what you’re like in a relationship.

You’ve got to figure out how to detach the relationship “you” from your present relationship in order to work on the independent “you”

Are you following me?

In my e-book I talk about reinvention. When this happens you have a whole new vibration and your signal may no longer point to your Ex or you may send the right signal to re-attract him/her back into a relationship with you.

A funny thing happens when you grow beyond begging, it’s called self respect. Your internal re-alignment begins with a decision to stand up for “you.”

Nicole Gayle is the author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out, - learn how to be strong, beautiful, and make your breakup work for you. www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com

I'm Trying To Attract My Ex Back

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Wed, 21 May 2008 23:30:00 +0000

Are you wondering what you seem to be doing wrong when it comes to getting your Ex back? There has been a lot of talk about the law of attraction, but is it working for you?

Let me help you understand what went wrong inside the mind of the relationship with your Ex.

The first law that attracted you and your Ex together is the law of respect. I bet you don't think respect has anything to do with your attraction. You're probably thinking that you found your Ex physically attractive, interesting, and liked certain attributes about him/her and that's why you wanted to get to know him/her.

But the law of respect has everything to do with how your relationship began and how it ended. Think about it: You're attracted to certain types of people because there's something about them that you admire - certain physical attributes or a attitude that pull you towards them.

When your relationship began, you may have seen each other regularly, talked consistently, did things that caused you to build a deeper bond, etc. Essentially, you placed each other first and made meeting each other's needs your number one priority.

But as your relationship progressed, the initial excitement of your relationship tapered off and something chipped away at the foundation of respect. Now you find yourself trying to get your Ex to want you when this choice was made freely when your relationship began.

And if you continue to manipulate the flow of attraction between you, you will continue to lose the respect of your Ex.

Hanging on, begging, chasing, promising to change, neediness, being clingy and insecure is fatal. These types of behaviors will cause your Ex to disrespect you. Remember in order for attraction to happen, there has to be respect.

And having respect for yourself is where it's at. If your Ex knows that you'd do anything to have him/her or that you desperately want your relationship back, there will not be enough respect to build attraction and trying to mentally draw your Ex in won't work because you don't have respect for yourself first.

You pull towards you what you already have inside. If you don't love yourself enough to leave your Ex alone, then no one will love you enough to want to be with you.

Nicole Gayle is the author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out, - a guide to help you make your breakup work for you. Learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure. Go to http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com for an instant download now.

Stop Chasing Your Ex and He May Chase You

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Mon, 19 May 2008 00:20:00 +0000

There's something called dumpee's self pity. It causes lack of common sense and makes people act out of desperation.

If you've been dumped and you are feeling like no one will ever want you again, you'll do anything to get your boyfriend back.

And that's why your cycle of self pity is pushing you further and further in the hole. You are causing your boyfriend to mistreat you by not having enough guts to stand up for yourself.
When you continue to beg your boyfriend to want you or act like your life hangs on his every word, you'll bring out the worse in him.

First, he'll act like you were rolling around with the pigs and look on you with repulsion.
Then, the worse will come out of him because he's responding to your worst "self" - the beggar in the hole. He's just mirroring back what he sees.

Next, he may take what he can get or just plain run away, even further from you.
And finally, the worst, he'll permanently put up a sign that says, "All crazy Ex girlfriends are prohibitted."

Chasing your boyfriend isn't working for you and it won't work for you because you're acting in an unattractive, undesirable way.

If you become the kind of woman who'll have enough confidence to stand on your own, then you might have a chance of getting him back.

But why should you have to be the one who has to do all the work to have someone want you? That must be kind of tiring?

Why not create the sort of confidence that will cause a real man to sweep you off your feet?

Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out, - a guide to help you make your breakup work for you. Learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure. Go to http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com/ for an instant download now

Facing a breakup? How To Know When It's Really Over

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:50:00 +0000

When a relationship breaks up, there's a way to tell if it's really over. The person who leaves is the one who determines the fate of the relationship. What you need to understand as the person who was dumped is that you have more power than you think. Rejection is never easy but it is what you do with it that will make all of the difference in the world.

Walker #1

If your partner walked out on you because he/she's had enough of putting up with some very specific behaviors that have been talked about over and over again, this person truly loves you but have come to the end of their rope and is only trying to get you to wake up to see that something needs to change. This kind of walker does not want to throw the whole relationship away but is creating a crisis in order for things to change. If you are willing to get the message, then this person is still willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work.

Walker #2

But if your partner walks away, unwilling to make things work, does not want to go to counselling, take classes, read books on strengthening your relationship, then this person is DONE and has a plaque with "It's over!" on the wall in their mind.

This is the kind of walker who already has plans about starting a new life with someone else or already has. This person has had their exit strategy for a long time, felt trapped, no longer loves you, is prepared to shut down everything that you do to try to save the relationship, and gave up on you a long time ago. There's no "US" in this person's mind because he/she has already checked out.

As the songs goes, "You've got to know when to hold em and when to fold em." If you're dealing with walker #2, the most extreme action you can take is to cut them off and move on with your life - NOW.

This is not easy but will help you create the level of respect that may cause your partner to seriously regret ever leaving you.

Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, "What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out," - for people who want to learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure. If this describes you, get an instant download at http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com/

Still Want Your EX Back?

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:38:00 +0000

Here's the motto of disrespect: "Walk all over me and I'll still love you for it!"

Question: "How do you get up off of the floor after you've been laying there for a long time?"

Answer: "You fall in love with YOU!"

The roots of disrespect comes from a lack of self love. In order for someone to disrespect you, you must first give them the permission. Permission comes when you do not love yourself enough to demand more. When you love, beautiful sexy you, you will find that you have the courage to draw the line. If your EX dares to cross that line then you will take the necessary actions to protect your turf.

So today I want to help you if you can't seem to get to the place of true and abiding self love. It starts by accepting that you are worthy of love. You must replace the script of self hate that was planted in you. You are chasing your EX or trying to get a man/woman to love you because you are operating from your "self hate" scripts.

Confidence is sexy and attractive and I know you want to get there. But you must no longer give your power away to someone who will continue to steal it from you even when you are not handing it over.

You have the strength to begin to love your self and leave your EX alone. Today I want you to start to tell yourself, even if you don't feel or believe it, that you are worthy of true love. Your words will shape your thoughts and your thoughts will shape your feelings.

For once in your life, stand up for you!

Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, "What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out," - this e-book is not for everyone, it is for people who want to learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure. If this describes you, go to http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com for an instant download.

True Happiness Starts Within

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 16:54:00 +0000

When it comes to your breakup or marriage crisis, happiness maybe the last thing on your mind. Our culture teaches us that by and large, happiness is based on being in a relationship with someone who makes us feel good. So we have a huge majority of individuals leaving decent relationship in pursuit of happiness. We often believe that the grass is always greener on the other side.

What they fail to include is that true happiness starts from within. More than likely, your partner does not have true happiness within which has nothing to do with you. If you don't agree, take a look at your partners behavior and see how he/she responds to you during and/or after the breakup. Happy people don't blame other people for not being happy, they don't cheat on other people, they are not abusive, bitter, resentful, selfish, nor self centered. Happy people are kind and at peace with themselves. When you "get" what I'm saying here, you will have no time to take all of the blame for the breakup.

It works like this: As human beings, we are creators. The chair that you are sitting on came from an idea. The person who invented the chair found the proper parts to put it together so that we can actually "see" what he was thinking all along. In fact, the chair came from within the creator, the chair was not outside of him.

This is a basic example, but when you are able to fully understand this principle, it will change your life. You will see that you have within you the ability to create anything that you wish to manifest into reality and that nothing on the outside can control how you feel.

Our thoughts are actually creating our feelings but we have control over our thoughts and we are able to shape our thoughts by what we say out loud.

You may be facing the most difficult crisis in your life but it is worth it to create the level of happiness that you want and it is not based on what your partner or EX does. It is what you do that counts. Get happy right now. When you are able to do so, everything in your life will elevate itself to the level that you have grown to.

Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, "What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out," - get instant download and create the happiness that you deserve at http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com/

How to emotionally divorce your EX or drifting partner

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 06:02:00 +0000

Attachments are usually formed when there are positive emotions between two lovers but when a relationship is in crisis or a partner has left, it is important to know how to cope with negative emotions.

The best coping strategy is counterintuitive. Your emotions will want to hold on inspite of what you may hear or see. Faced with the truth, you may try to protect "what you have" by reacting from panic but this rarely works. Reacting from shock and panic will cause you to lose your power.

The news of someone leaving or the sight of a drifting partner will cause an imbalance of power in the relationship. Power imbalances in relationships are unhealthy and can only lead to dysfunction.

When you choose to emotionally divorce your EX or drifting partner you cut him/her off from your emotions so that you do not keep bleeding. If you keep the attachment, you are holding onto a fantasy which will only cause you more pain because of unmet needs. More than likely you are holding your partner responsible for your happiness and no one can make you happy but YOU.

Begin by setting up boundaries for yourself and cut yourself off from the dead energy that is causing you so much pain. When I decided to also emotionally check out, I just did not care anymore and this attitude helped me a great deal to becoming the best woman I have ever been. I thought I had true love but I did not. True love is the ability to love yourself enough to not settle for someone who does not deserve you.

Nicole Gayle is the author of the ebook, "What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out." Get it now at www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com

Just Breakup? Why You Need to Leave Your EX alone

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 18:31:00 +0000

You may be ranting and raving about how utterly selfish, cold and/or calculating your partner was when he wanted out of your relationship and there may be a lot of truth to your side of the story. When people feel trapped, they will often make very selfish and self centered decisions by placing their needs before the needs of anyone else.

Take that as a hint that you need to put your own needs first by leaving your EX alone. Rejection is never easy and begging for a second chance is hateful and disgraceful to your own soul.

Here are some reasons why you need to leave your partner alone:

1.You don't have the right to violate someone else's will. In other words, if you manipulate, there will be consequences.

2.It is clear that your relationship is broken. Accept truth and refuse to live in denial.

3.Your relationship was probably not all you're thinking it was. If you really pull back, you'll see
that more than likely you weren't happy either.

4.If your partner left you for someone else, then you shouldn't betray yourself by wanting him back.

5.You did not have true love, if it was, it would last.

6.Your partner most likely was not the right person for you to begin with no matter how long you were together.

7.Chasing your EX is a dysfunctional behavior. 8.He already knows you want him back and he doesn't care.

9.You can take responsibility for living a great life.

10.You are better than that and you deserve more.

Aside from all of the above, you need to heal and this takes time. A breakup is much like a loss and you will go through the stages of grieving over what you had and what you lost. Everyone deals with loss in their own way but it if said that it can take up to 18 months to totally flush it out of your system.

Surround yourself with family and friends to help you through this difficult time as well as get yourself some personal counseling. Healing is about detachment. When you are able to detach and disconnect, the longing you are feeling for your EX will be gone. When this happens, you will feel like you want to climb Mount Everest. I've been there and now I feel so much sexier than I've ever felt in my entire life.

Good riddance!

Nicole Gayle is the Author of the e-book, "What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out," - this e-book is not for everyone, it is for people who want to learn the secrets to becoming more attractive, happier, and secure. If this describes you, go to http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com/ for an instant download.

Learning how to detach

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 23:27:00 +0000

It took some time for you to form an emotional attachment and bond to your partner. Now that you may be facing the end of your relationship or it's already ended, you'll need to know what to do in order feel empowered. Your Power is in your ability to detach.

When you are attached, your emotions are involved and usually our emotions serve us in many great ways. But having to deal with a breakup is difficult and your emotions will want to react from the patterns that you learned in your relationship.

I didn't realize how much I depended on my ex-husband emotionally until he left. When we were together, I would consult him before making many decisions. After he left, I no longer had a partner with whom to make decisions.

When you detach, you literally have to deal with it like dealing with a withdrawal from a substance. You will have symptoms like thinking about him/her all day long, appeasing, wishing you were still together, hoping that your partner still finds you attractive, or finding reasons to stay in touch. But the more you hang on, the worse you will feel because your relationship no longer supports your emotional world.

Detach by cutting contact with your drifting partner or ex and allow your emotions to pay the price instead of your self esteem. If you continue to give into your feelings by trying to convince someone to be with you, you will end up eventually losing yourself completely. If you are continually rejected, it will cause you to feel like nothing.

Pull back until you're able to function without the emotional validation of your partner while seeking the support and guidance from people who love and care about your well-being. When you give yourself time for this to take place, you will begin to feel empowered and more secure.

Get instant download of my e-book, "What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out," written to help you become more successful at finding emotional freedom. www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com

Get FREE download of my Top 10 Articles at www.whenspousewantsout.com

Get Free Advice NOW!

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 16:46:00 +0000

Dear Friend,

If you're looking for instant advice, visit http://www.whenspousewantsout.com/ to download my FREE Top 10 articles. Full of stategies and tips to help you if you're facing or dealing with a breakup.

Believing in you and me,
Nicole

You Can’t Make Your Partner Stay by Begging

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 01:05:00 +0000

Facing a breakup feels devastating. I’ve been there. You have feelings of loss, fear, hopelessness along with feeling like you’ve failed. My husband wanted out of our marriage of 8 years when our second child was only 10 months old.

I was completely caught off guard. I thought we had alot going for us. We had even began trying for a third child. I begged him to stay, change his mind, rethink, go to counseling. All of the classic groveling techniques that only rendered me even more powerless in the face of rejection.

My pregnancy was very difficult and after our son was born, I couldn’t walk. I had a dislocated pelvis which sometimes happens to women during pregnancy. I was also on maternity benefits – not much to survive on as I was faced with being a single parent.

I told him to go after three weeks of writing love letters, chasing him, trying to get him to think about our family because he was determined to go.

Strangely enough, I was ok with him gone until a bombshell confession. I learned that he began seeing a woman only three weeks after leaving.

I felt destroyed because he had promised me that he just felt that he needed to go because he was not happy and that he was not seeing anyone nor had anyone in mind, so I believed him and respected his need to go figure things out.

This made me feel so dishonored and disrespected as a woman and brought me into a vicious dysfunctional roller coaster and I would go back and forth with desiring for us to be together and would do so even after what I thought was an “innocent mistake.”

But love can only be built on foundations like honesty, integrity, trust, truth, and shared values. If you have been faced with a breakup, know that you deserve more than begging and you deserve someone who will love you with all of the passion and truth that you were born to experience.

Facing a breakup? Get instant help at www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com

What To Do When You're Facing A Breakup

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 20:52:00 +0000

My breakup was BAD – I mean bad and real ugly. I didn’t see it coming. As a matter of fact, I had gone through a pretty bad pregnancy and gave birth to my second child. By the time he was born, I couldn’t even walk for about a month because I was in so much pain from a dislocated pelvis.

Being off work and having my second child, I was receiving maternity benefits – barely anything to live off of. When my son was 10 months, my husband told me he wanted out.

Can you imagine what that’s like? Having a 10 old month baby, a daughter who just turned 5 and facing being a single parent?

I was shocked and horrified and extremely devastated. I couldn’t eat for days. My fear of being faced with being a single income parent and the future of my children caused me to beg him for weeks to reconsider, but to no avail. I tried to convince him to change his mind, asked for us to go to counseling, went to the library to get books to help us, showed him what the stats are on kids and divorce, promise I would do whatever it took to make him happy, dropped all what I was doing to give him my full and undivided attention but nothing worked.

Why? I didn’t realize then that trying to go against the will of someone actually trigger them to move away from you even further. Begging is repulsive and unattractive. I thought that I was doing the right thing to want to save my marriage at all cost. I didn’t want a broken family.

What I should have done when I heard the news was to immediately book a trip and take a vacation alone to sort out what my life would be after this kind of shock. This sort of behavior – moving away from someone who wants to move away from you – is what actually works to build one’s confidence and self respect after hearing this kind of news and in some relationships pulls the drifting partner back in.

You have to mirror your partner’s behavior. No trapping. Your attitude must be, “Whatever you want to do, do it.” If he/she wants to move out of your home, let go. If he/she wants a divorce, be the first to file. If he/she wants to see other people, start going out on dates. Do exactly what your partner wants to do and it will reveal to you the truth of what is really in your partner’s heart. It will also cause you to take the high road instead of living like a beggar on the streets – begging someone to love you.

Your conscious mind won’t be able to wrap itself around this but it’s what you actually need to force yourself to do. There’s no guarantee that you will save your relationship but because I’ve been there, I know that if you continue begging you could lose yourself.

Nicole Gayle is the author of the ebook, "What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out," written to help you become more attractive, happier and secure when faced with a breakup. Learn how to do what actually works for you instead of against you. Get instant download at www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com

What I learned from my Marriage Breakup Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Nicole Gayle) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 15:23:00 +0000

After processing my marriage breakup - which was a really bad and ugly one that so floored me I literally thought I would go under - I came to realize a number of things. The marriage that I tried to save for months was what I used to DEFINE me.

See buried within my subconscious were the feelings of inferiority and low self worth. These scripts were planted inside by events that happened in my childhood. When I met my ex-husband, I was really arrogant but deep within, I didn't believe that I was worthy of unconditional love and I think on some level I carried this with me for years.

So when he wanted out of the marriage, all of my fears of being unworthy came to the surface which made me pursue him and did everything to try to save the marriage. I acted like a complete doormat by begging, whining, trying to convince him to change his mind, appeasing, wrote letters - it was pitiful to say the least. The breakup was a wakeup in that it revealed my need to learn to love myself in an unconditional way.

Looking back, I am completely ashamed of my actions because now I know that I do not derserve someone who cannot love me - I deserve better.

You may be right where I was and I hope that you will come to understand that true self love and respect is the key to breaking the chains of begging. You were born for greatness and you deserve someone who will love you and never let you go.

Nicole Gayle is the author of the ebook, "What to Do When Your Partner Wants Out," written to help you become happier and more secure. Get instant download at http://www.whenyourpartnerwantsout.com/