http://whatwillmatter.com Thoughts on better parenting, teaching, management, and leadership Fri, 17 May 2013 14:30:08 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 Michael Josephson is a noted radio commentator and the founder and president of the nonprofit Josephson Institute of Ethics and CHARACTER COUNTS!. Subscribers and regular visitors to his blog at WhatWillMatter.com will find written and audio versions of radio commentaries, plus quotations, observations, guest articles, videos, images, surveys, and recommendations. Michael Josephson no Michael Josephson snish@jiethics.org snish@jiethics.org (Michael Josephson) Josephson Institute Michael Josephson is a noted radio commentator and the founder and president of the nonprofit Josephson Institute of Ethics and CHARACTER COUNTS!. Subscribers and regular visitors to his blog at WhatWillMatter.com will find written and audio versions of r ethics,character,counts,michael,josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/images/WWM-graphic-for-itunes_600x600.jpg http://whatwillmatter.com Los Angeles, California weekdays Josephson Instituteethics,character,counts,michael,josephsonSociety & Culture/Personal Journals http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/WhatWillMatter/~3/NBY9JkvbinI/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-828-1-noahs-term-paper/#comments Fri, 17 May 2013 14:30:08 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21087 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-828-1-noahs-term-paper/feed/ 0 choices Noah really needed an ‘A’ on a term paper.  His friend Jason tells him that lots of kids “re-cycle” papers they don’t write and offers to give him a paper his older brother got an ‘A’ on three years ago. When Noah asked his for advice, Noah really needed an ‘A’ on a term paper.  His friend Jason tells him that lots of kids “re-cycle” papers they don’t write and offers to give him a paper his older brother got an ‘A’ on three years ago. When Noah asked his for advice, his father hoped his son wouldn’t cheat but he didn’t want to be judgmental so he said, “Son, it’s your life, I can’t tell you what you should do.  It’s a personal decision.” I think that’s shabby parenting. Noah’s dad declined to provide moral guidance and lost an opportunity to strengthen Noah’s values and his own credibility as a reference point. Kids need parents to bolster their moral will power to resist temptations.  His reluctance to actively intervene and influence is an abdication of responsibility. What’s more, his noncommittal response is not an expression of moral neutrality but a statement that conveys the moral judgment that honesty and integrity are optional. True, this is a personal decision.  Noah has the power; he can choose to be honest or dishonest, ethical or unethical – it’s his call.  But the real question is one of propriety: he didn’t ask his dad “What can I do?” but “What should I do?” This is a question about ethics and it can’t be dodged or evaded. If we want our children to build good values and a strong character based on virtue we have to be willing to teach and advocate those virtues. Sometimes that means saying, “That’s wrong!” This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts. Please return to the Blog Home Page www.whatwillmatter.com  and browse to see other current and archived commentaries, quotes and other good stuff. Michael Josephson no 1:30 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-828-1-noahs-term-paper/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/WhatWillMatter/~3/Xtg56kYCx0s/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-doing-what-you-must-is-duty-doing-what-you-should-is-virtue-doing-what-you-can-is-service-doing-what-you-are-afraid-of-is-courage-doing-what-you-like-is-freedom-liking-what-you-do-is/#comments Thu, 16 May 2013 16:34:12 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21106 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-doing-what-you-must-is-duty-doing-what-you-should-is-virtue-doing-what-you-can-is-service-doing-what-you-are-afraid-of-is-courage-doing-what-you-like-is-freedom-liking-what-you-do-is/feed/ 0 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-doing-what-you-must-is-duty-doing-what-you-should-is-virtue-doing-what-you-can-is-service-doing-what-you-are-afraid-of-is-courage-doing-what-you-like-is-freedom-liking-what-you-do-is/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/WhatWillMatter/~3/kUohpT1F-Io/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-no-one-ever-said-on-their-deathbed-i-wish-i-spent-more-time-at-the-office/#comments Thu, 16 May 2013 16:30:04 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21103 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-no-one-ever-said-on-their-deathbed-i-wish-i-spent-more-time-at-the-office/feed/ 0 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-no-one-ever-said-on-their-deathbed-i-wish-i-spent-more-time-at-the-office/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/WhatWillMatter/~3/AKHuYpap-oM/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-5-ethics-easier-said-than-done/#comments Thu, 16 May 2013 14:30:43 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21069 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-5-ethics-easier-said-than-done/feed/ 0 ethics As a full-time ethicist – can you believe there even is such a thing? – I spend lots of time talking and writing about right and wrong. One thing I've learned is that in the last analysis, consistently doing the right thing is easier said than done. - As a full-time ethicist – can you believe there even is such a thing? – I spend lots of time talking and writing about right and wrong. One thing I've learned is that in the last analysis, consistently doing the right thing is easier said than done. For one thing, it's not always easy knowing what's right. We want to believe that ethics is simple and that everything we needed to know we learned in kindergarten, but if that's so, I must have been absent that day. There are many situations where ethical values clash and there's no clear or simple right thing to do. But even if we always knew what was right, consistently doing it isn't easy. Sometimes we just can't get everything we want by being honest and following all the rules. Ethics limits our options and can be a competitive disadvantage. So, when there's a gap between what we want to do (our desires) and what we should do (our ethical duties) we often rationalize or compromise. Thus, even basically good people lie occasionally, cheat just a little, and justify moral shortcuts. No one is perfect. It's human nature. But it's also human nature to strive for moral perfection and to care about our character. That's the part of our nature we need to strengthen. A healthy and realistic goal is not to be perfect but to be constantly getting better. And one doesn't have to be sick to get better. Yes, it often takes moral will power to do the right thing when it costs more than we want to pay, but that's what character is all about. For all our cynicism about the growing hole in our moral ozone, there are lots of good people who resist temptations every day. Sure there's a price, but there's also a big pay-off. You'll improve the quality of your life and set an example for your children. This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts. Please return to the Blog Home Page www.whatwillmatter.com  and browse to see other current and archived commentaries, quotes and other good stuff.   Michael Josephson no 1:36 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-5-ethics-easier-said-than-done/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/WhatWillMatter/~3/HiHG_CxVvyg/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-i-think-the-purpose-of-life-is-to-be-useful-to-be-responsible-to-be-honorable-to-be-compassionate-it-is-after-all-to-matter-to-count-to-stand-for-something-to-have-made-some-d/#comments Wed, 15 May 2013 16:10:31 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21084 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-i-think-the-purpose-of-life-is-to-be-useful-to-be-responsible-to-be-honorable-to-be-compassionate-it-is-after-all-to-matter-to-count-to-stand-for-something-to-have-made-some-d/feed/ 0 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-i-think-the-purpose-of-life-is-to-be-useful-to-be-responsible-to-be-honorable-to-be-compassionate-it-is-after-all-to-matter-to-count-to-stand-for-something-to-have-made-some-d/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/WhatWillMatter/~3/-zSHaa6CeOQ/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-if-you-want-to-know-how-to-live-your-life-think-about-what-youd-like-people-to-say-about-you-after-you-die-and-live-backwards/#comments Wed, 15 May 2013 16:03:58 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21081 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-if-you-want-to-know-how-to-live-your-life-think-about-what-youd-like-people-to-say-about-you-after-you-die-and-live-backwards/feed/ 0 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-if-you-want-to-know-how-to-live-your-life-think-about-what-youd-like-people-to-say-about-you-after-you-die-and-live-backwards/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/WhatWillMatter/~3/UQ9mFeoGNtE/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-4-avoiding-temptations/#comments Wed, 15 May 2013 14:30:55 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21058 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-4-avoiding-temptations/feed/ 0 When my daughter Samara was four she pointed to a delicate glass vase and asked, “What’s that?” - “It’s very special,” I answered. “It was my mother’s. I would really feel bad if it ever got broken, so please be careful to never, never touch it.” - When my daughter Samara was four she pointed to a delicate glass vase and asked, “What’s that?” “It’s very special,” I answered. “It was my mother’s. I would really feel bad if it ever got broken, so please be careful to never, never touch it.” Without a moment’s hesitation she said, “Then you should never, never put it where I can reach it.” Her remark reminded me of an Oscar Wilde quote: “I can resist anything but temptation.” Samara understood the power of the temptation and shifted the responsibility to me. If I wanted the vase safe, keep it out of her path. And, of course, she was right. We would both be happier if I didn’t tempt her. After all, it is easier to avoid than resist temptations. Even people of character can succumb to temptations at weak moments. If you’re on a diet, don’t let them bring out the dessert tray. If you’re on a tight budget, don’t even window shop for things you can’t afford. And if you’re committed to celibacy or fidelity don’t get near situations where your resolve could be tested. The 19th century English novelist Margaret Oliphant said, “As a general rule, temptations come when they are sought.” If we’re honest with ourselves we would have to admit that many of the morally precarious situations we’ve found ourselves in were not entirely unwelcome. It’s reckless to invite temptation to sit beside us and believe that we will have the strength to say no at the right time. This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts. Please return to the Blog Home Page www.whatwillmatter.com  and browse to see other current and archived commentaries, quotes and other good stuff. Michael Josephson no 1:33 ethics,character,counts,michael,josephsonhttp://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-4-avoiding-temptations/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/WhatWillMatter/~3/NNVQ8gRN2Bg/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-believe-you-will-succeed-but-dont-be-afraid-of-failing-remember-every-meaningful-achievement-is-built-on-the-foundation-stones-of-false-starts-an-3/#comments Tue, 14 May 2013 17:50:21 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21066 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-believe-you-will-succeed-but-dont-be-afraid-of-failing-remember-every-meaningful-achievement-is-built-on-the-foundation-stones-of-false-starts-an-3/feed/ 0 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-believe-you-will-succeed-but-dont-be-afraid-of-failing-remember-every-meaningful-achievement-is-built-on-the-foundation-stones-of-false-starts-an-3/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/WhatWillMatter/~3/chsefFHavLA/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-its-better-to-be-hated-for-what-you-are-than-to-be-loved-for-something-you-are-not-andre-gide/#comments Tue, 14 May 2013 17:47:19 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21063 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-its-better-to-be-hated-for-what-you-are-than-to-be-loved-for-something-you-are-not-andre-gide/feed/ 0 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/quote-poster-its-better-to-be-hated-for-what-you-are-than-to-be-loved-for-something-you-are-not-andre-gide/ http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/WhatWillMatter/~3/p0Zsc6j-TOU/ http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-3-i-didnt-want-the-janitor-to-lose-his-job/#comments Tue, 14 May 2013 14:30:44 +0000 Michael Josephson http://whatwillmatter.com/?p=21053 http://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-3-i-didnt-want-the-janitor-to-lose-his-job/feed/ 0 The primary responsibility for instilling good values and building character is with parents. This doesn't mean, however, that teachers and coaches don't have a critically important role. - The unfortunate fact is that far too many kids are raised in ... The primary responsibility for instilling good values and building character is with parents. This doesn't mean, however, that teachers and coaches don't have a critically important role. The unfortunate fact is that far too many kids are raised in morally impoverished settings that foster lying, cheating, and violence. If we don't give these children moral instruction, many of them will become predators. And I know it works because of Jesse, a young man I met in Tulare County, California. Jesse was in an alternative school because he had serious behavioral problems. About a month after his school incorporated character-development strategies into the curriculum, Jesse found the janitor's keys. To a kid with a history of theft, this was a mighty temptation. When he voluntarily turned them in, people were shocked. When I asked him why, he surprised me with his answer. He didn't say anything about a new commitment to honesty. He said simply, "I didn't want the janitor to lose his job." It's likely Jesse would not have thought about the janitor weeks before. What changed was he had been given a simple thinking tool that helped him see the way his choices could affect other people. Jesse was taught to identify "stakeholders" – all the people likely to be affected by a choice – and to think about how they might be affected. Despite Jesse's flaws, he had decent instincts and didn't want to do something that would hurt the janitor. His teachers didn't teach him to care about others, but they gave him a way of thinking that unleashed the caring part of his nature. This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts. Please return to the Blog Home Page www.whatwillmatter.com  and browse to see other current and archived commentaries, quotes and other good stuff. Michael Josephson no 1:31 ethics,character,counts,michael,josephsonhttp://whatwillmatter.com/2013/05/commentary-827-3-i-didnt-want-the-janitor-to-lose-his-job/ Michael JosephsonnonadultMichael Josephson is a noted radio commentator and the founder and president of the nonprofit Josephson Institute of Ethics and CHARACTER COUNTS!. Subscribers and regular visitors to his blog at WhatWillMatter.com will find written and audio versions of r