What You Do Not Know Because You Are Not Me!

The barber in the beginning of the video cut my hair before most of you were born.

2013-05-24T05:41:00.001-04:00

Some things have changed, but lots have stayed the same.

When I was a kid I used to walk around the corner and get my hair cut by some old dude. One day I walk in and there was someone new in the shop. Looking back I think he said the only words he knew in English. "The old barber is dead, I am the barber now." The operative word in that sentence was now. The day before he was not a barber.

So this 17 year old bit the bullet and went with his dad to his barber; Mr Figaro. He is in the opening moments of this Video.

I taught him how to make a mullett.

How could the origins of my life be interesting?

2013-05-21T10:46:00.004-04:00

Well they are to someone. The fine folks at Forgotten New York are featuring Ocean Ave and they used the doorway of the apartment building I grew up in to shout about it.

Really, I lived on the 4th floor of 2261 Ocean Ave till I was almost 6. I attended half a year of kindergarten around the corner at PS 255.

After my family moved out to larger digs on Bedford Ave

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OMG, I just spoke to my Mom. We lived at 2270 Ocean Ave, diagonally across the street.

this one....

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Of course she was right. I knew we faced Ocean Ave and our fire escape was in the front. My room was on the 4th floor on the left side of the photo.

I Mighta gotten the address wrong, but now I remember the window.

I remember looking out that window in the Summer of 1969. Looking at the Moon and straining to see Neil Armstrong.

I remember asking my dad why people count sheep when they can't sleep. He said that the shepherds used to drive their herds of sheep on Ocean Ave at night and if you were up late you could count them

The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

2013-05-21T07:30:00.000-04:00

But how do you know who the few are and how many the many are? Who am I? Am I the one? One of the few? Or am I part of the many who get their needs met?

Spock knew what to do. But this past weekend all people knew what to do was complain. There was a lot going on in Prospect Park. Early last week The Great Googa Mooga moved in. This was its second year and a lot of people were freaking out because they were probably going to damage the park again and only pay $75,000. Well, I know the people who are in charge of Special Events and they don't like looking bad, so I am pretty sure they will do a better job at documenting and billing any damage this year. If they don't, the media will.

I have mixed feelings. On one hand, lots of things happen in public parks for private gain. Restaurants are in parks. City Field and Yankee Stadium are actually in parks. I have participated in and organized many races in public parks. Parades and fairs close our streets on a regular basis. Movie shoots make our lives nuts (A few blocks from my house Will Ferrell is filing the more of The Anchorman and this afternoon I will have to move my car for some tv show . Saturday morning, during the Googa Mooga, the Brooklyn Half Marathon passed through Prospect Park and then cut Brooklyn in half. I was the "Team Leader" for the fluid station.in Prospect Park. For a great blog post on what that morning was like click through to Qaptain Qwerty's post.. I can tell you first hand that from 7:30 to 8:30 that morning it was basically impossible to cross the roadway in prospect park because there were so many runners. Hey, on Saturday evening, my daughter attended a Bat Mitzva in Prospect Park's Picnic House. The only time anyone can ever go into that building if it is rented out for a private event. So, lots of things happen in public places that limit access to the public

On the other hand, the Great Googa was not about community or charity or food or music. It was about profit. It was organized by Superfly, a for profit event management company. According to Wikipedia.....

The company was founded in 1996 by Jonathan Mayers, Rick Farman, Richard Goodstone and Kerry Black.^[2]

After gaining notoriety as hosts of after-hours events during the New Orleans Jazz Fest and Mardi Gras, Superfly's owners realized they had hit a plateau, unable to compete with big venues that could profit from alcohol and other sales in addition to ticket fees. They wanted to put on bigger events and came up with the idea of Bonnaroo.^[3]

They did not care about the park or the people of Brooklyn. Celebrate Brooklyn brings thousands of people to Prospect Park for music and food and they don't crap all over the park. When I went to the training for Brooklyn Half staff, the NYRR said they will leave the course better than they found it and we did. We didn't clean up because we were worried about being billed, we cleaned up because it was our park and we wanted to wanted to come back to a clean park.

Superfly Productions is a for profit company. The bottom line of their existence is the same as Exxon-Mobil or Monsanto; Profit.

What do they need a fleet of luxury cars for? There is no driving in Prospect Park!!

For a week Well House Drive was turned into a trailer park..

It was not the end of the word, but.......

But this was just wrong. Fencing off a water fountain was wrong on so many levels.

First, this is is a food feast. They were selling food. Perhaps people want to drink some free water. Maybe they don't want to pay for plastic bottles of water.

Second, this fence was there for days before the mooga began and I took this photo after it was over. For no reason at all they were keeping me from a drink.

Finally, they could have with a little effort put that fence on the other side of the fountain.

So, I am not saying that we should not have events like the Not-So Great Great GoogaMooga, we just have to make sure they respect our public places. Because if we don't Prospect Park will become Disney World.

Sometimes you are one of the many and sometimes you are one of the few.

and another thing.

Hating on the Googa Mooga because you think it is for "hipsters" is no better than hating on rap music because you think it is for people who don't look like you. I gave my free tickets away, but I have no problem with the people who enjoyed the event.

Brooklyn Coastline

2013-05-13T07:25:00.001-04:00

click to enlarge.

Yesterday I combined a long run with an opportunity to pick up my MIL. I ran down to Sheepshead Bay. A straight line would not have been enough mileage, so I took the coastal route.

I documented a big chunk of this run here in 2009. I was just about to type something like this.

also ran by the Federal Prison

I did not take this picture, it is from their website. The guards were serious about "no photographs". I was not gonna push my luck. In October of 2001 I ran there. When I was a block from the building I noticed that the road was blocked by a van. I man got out wearing body armor (not just a bullet proof vest, he was like a human tank.) Then another man got out wearing the same armor but also holding the biggest gun I ever saw. The first man pointed toward Sunset Park and said, "Halt, go that way." It was the most unambiguous statement I ever heard. There was not a molecule of my body that was going to do anything but "Halt" and "go that way." No questions... The guards at Federal Prisons in October of 2001 were not taking any crap.

Below is a Google Streetview of that spot. You will see that the Google Car could not get any closer to the building either.

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Yesterday I was allowed to run around the prison. But I was not going to take out my phone and take any pictures.

But a few blocks away I did take out my phone. 1st Ave is home to many gate factories and warehouses.

We Have Many Workers
But None To Spare.
Please Drive Carefully

On 1st Ave in the forties I saw this sign.

Turning around, I was this building.

You can swing around a look for yourself.

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Most of where I ran was underwater during The Storm last year. Some places are back to normal. But, the path along the Belt Parkway was busted up in places. Some of the stores in Caesar's Bay are still closed. There are still mountains of sand in Coney Island. Many homes in Manhattan Beach are still boarded up. Not so normal.

unconstructive edits

2013-05-10T12:10:00.000-04:00

At least 5 or 6 years ago I was with a bunch of friends and one of them insisted on using Wikipedia to prove his point. To prove my point that Wikipedia can be fiction I logged in and changed something real to something that was nonsense. I moved a decimal point. Anyone who would read it would know it was wrong.

It stayed like that for years.

click to enlarge

I just happened to go back to Wikipedia and noticed that I had a message.

Below is the corrected segment to Prospect Park's Wikipedia Entry

The Prospect Park Track Club, formed in the early 1970s, organizes regular training runs and races in and around the park. (The park has a 3.35-mile or 5.39 km loop.)^[40] TheProspect Park Women's Softball League has been playing softball games on summer evenings in Prospect Park for over 23 years. Circle rules football has been played every weekend from spring through fall at the tip of the Long Meadow nearest Grand Army Plaza since 2007.

You should know, however, that the "loop" is actually closer to 3.33 miles and citation 40 should link to the Prospect Park Alliance, not the Central Park Alliance.

Afterrain is my favorite smell

2013-05-08T14:06:00.000-04:00

Except maybe beforethesnow.

After my run yesterday I took a crappy phone-photo of one of the Cherry Blossoms in Prospect Park with Grand Army Plaza in the background. We had like a foot of rain this morning. Below is a different view of the same tree, 24 hours later.

I also hitched a ride in a truck to cross this flood on 9th Street.

they made it.

And the ducks will soon move into this flood in Prospect Park.

This looked so much better with my own eyes.

2013-05-07T19:24:00.000-04:00

I went out to do an easy loop of Prospect Park and met one of the fastest guys I know. He wanted to talk to me and was willing to turn his easy run into a jog...... It's been awhile since I ran myself into the ground and I felt pretty high when I got to the top of the hill.

I remember the sky being bluer and the arch being bigger.

Mixed Reuse

2013-05-07T06:28:00.000-04:00

"Schaefer is the one beer to have when you're having more than one."

I don't think I ever had a Schaefer Beer.

Anyway, my days of having more than one beer are behind me.

When this ad came out Schaefer was the best selling beer in America. I can see why with their direct appeal to alcoholics.

But on Kent Ave one of their buildings is still there.

Thanks Fishtown

I can just see the Schaefer logo going above that door.

But they don't make Schaefer in Brooklyn any more. They used to make a lot of things in Williamsburg that they don't make any more. and check out the Streetview below. It looks like they just recently took away the green sign that cover the Schaefer logo.

Also if you zoom on the door now, it says that the building is home to a movie studio too.

There is a lot going on in Williamsburg. You can tell from this one building that things change. A building that was once home to a brewery is now a special education school for Jewish children and a video studio.

That's ok. My kids go to school in a combination of 2 buildings. One of them was a high school and the other was a newspaper factory. They also share the building with another school. I will get to that latter.

Some things don't need to be said.

2013-05-04T14:09:00.000-04:00

This sign was on the East River Bike Path, under the Manhattan Bridge.

Yea. The Manhattan Bridge is Above.

On a vending machine that sells bikes part it says "COOLEST SUSTAINABLE VENDING MACHINE IN NYC".

Of course it is.

DEMENTORS IN BROOKLYN?!!!!!?? AHAHAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2013-05-03T06:09:00.004-04:00

Where is Harry Potter, these things are gonna get me.

Not to worry, my soul is safe. Just a tarp getting old and blowing around. I will just call 311. Click here for a photo of that tarp doing part of it's job

I am glad someone's got a sense of humor

2013-05-02T06:26:00.000-04:00

Last week a van and a car had a little dispute and the van wound up on the sidewalk and in a store. You can look at the news story here. CBS News reported that Joggers dodge van seconds before it smashes into Park Slope Deli.

(BTW, do you know the difference between a jogger and a runner? A jogger jumps up and down at a red light and a runner stands there and looks pissed.)

I run by that corner all the time, and I have had more than a few cups of coffee from the guy in the back.

and I am glad nobody got hurt and they are open again.

What's amatta with you? (updated)

2013-04-26T21:39:00.001-04:00

This morning I went to the grand reopening of the Smith and 9th Street Subway Station. It has been closed for about 2 years for a major rehabilitation. This was not an easy fix because it is the highest Subway Station in the world.. Really. For reasons I can fathom it was build over a draw bridge. Really "With an elevation of 87.5 feet (26.7 m), this station is the highest subway station in the world.^[2] This elevation was required by now-defunct navigation regulations for tall-mast shipping on the Gowanus Canal. "

Because the subway platform is actually over a road (that is over a canal) you really can't use elevators, there has to be escalators. Well, there could be elevators but that might have added a few hundred million dollars to the cost of the project.

OK, the old station was at ground level.

It was a dump, but it was accessible to people who could not walk up or down stairs.

Now it looks great, but you can't get to the escalator without going up 3 steps.

When things were winding down, one of the advocates for the disables asked our Borough President why there are no ramps. I heard him say "Don't worry, their not done yet." What does he know, he has nothing to do with the Subway. It is a New York State Agency. What are they gonna do, rip out the new stairs to build a ramp.

Anyway, it is gonna be a tourist attraction.

(Update, after I slept on what I posted.)

I don't think those 3 steps are really a big deal. The escalators don't go all the way up to the platform. There is still an entire flight to walk up. Putting a ramp there wont help at all.

I am only training for a marathon.

2013-04-23T11:00:00.000-04:00

The end of May I will be running a 26.2 mile race. That is the easy part. The real work is being ready. You got to put in those 20s. Yesterday I did a 20. I ran from Grand Army Plaza to the Brooklyn Bridge. Crossed Manhattan and then ran up the Hudson River to 59th St. Cut through Central Park (WTF, the water fountains were off.) and got on the 59th St Bridge. Took Queens Blvd East and got a little lost till I actually got to Flushing Meadow Park. Click this for the route. It took me about 4 and a half hours. I stopped at 2 Starbucks for water and to pee. I got a little lost in Rego Park, so I am calling my millage at 20.

But, please, don't be impressed. For me it was an adventure. I wanted to get to Flushing Meadow for a reason. It is the middle of 18th Anual Self-Transcendence Ten Day Race. Click here for their blog

My friend Louis Rios is running the 6 day race. So is Phil McCarthy.

I was not able to stick around and take more photos because a ride home suddenly became available. If you zoom in you can see that Phil is currently in the lead with 127 miles and Louie has 79. This is day 2 of 6.

Before last years race I wich Louie luck on his race. He said, "It is not a race, it's a meditatin."

Dodging cars on Queens Blvd was somethign else.

Film is cheap.

2013-04-20T19:41:00.003-04:00

I stood in front of my house for about 10 minutes this afternoon. I am not going to exaggerate, over half of the people walking by stopped and to a picture of the trees across the street from my house. Instead of asking why I just did it too.

Wicked Cool

2013-04-20T04:46:00.002-04:00

The end of next month I will get to chaperon my kids on their 3 day trip to Boston!

Trip on!

These kids will behave.

Ambivalence

2013-04-19T11:06:00.000-04:00

I have real mixed feelings towards Starbucks.

As a native Brooklynite is see them as some sort of invasion. No better than Papa Johns or Walmart. We already got plenty of good coffee, what do we need that shit for. Also, I want a small coffee - Whatthefuck is a tall. If I wanted flavors in my coffee, I would do to a candy store. Finally, why do you need to know my name, just give me my coffee.

On the other hand, their stores have provided a new kind of quasi public place. I have had meetings there. Not like "I will meet you at Starbucks." But, lets bring our laptops and babies and get through this agenda - meeting. Their corporate policy as enforced by their employees was clear. Do what every you want in our store as long as you don't move your home office there or really bother the other people there. They don't really care if you don't spend any money.

But the real good thing that Starbucks brought to NYC was their toilets. Starbucks are everywhere and they all have one or two bathrooms. As a runner I used to have to find bathrooms in parks (forgetaboutit). I also knew that I could run into a hospital and use their bathroom. (Once a hospital guard did not want to let me in so I said "then admit me because I am going to explode right here. That worked.) Police stations also have public bathrooms. (But I think as a policy, they never clean them) So if you need a toilet in NYC, you can get this app

About 13 years ago, the first Starbucks opened in Park Slope. I was pushing my babies in their stroller and I remember stopping dead in my tracks and saying "WHO THE FUCK LET THIS HAPPEN?". Well, a few years later I had more than a few PTA meetings there.

And another one is about to open. Just on top of the stairs from he B/Q Train at 7th Ave and Flatbush.

I wish them luck. I, along with many other people have to pee when we get off the train.

I will still go to the newsstand and get justasgood coffee for half the price.

Many more details on pee can be found here.

Now, more than ever. I want to run Boston.

2013-04-15T18:37:00.001-04:00

This morning's FB status.

One day I will qualify for the Boston Marathon.

Some things I saw on my run yesterday.

2013-04-14T06:49:00.000-04:00

I was looking for 4 hours on my feet this morning and I found it. I met up with my track club for their Usual Saturday Morning Run. From Grand Army Plaza to Downtown Brooklyn, over the Brooklyn Bridge, crossing Manhattan to the Hudson River and around the Battery back to the Brooklyn Bridge. They went back. That round trip is about 12 miles. I continued uptown to the Williamsburg, then crossed the East River and stayed with it till I got to Red Hood, then I ran back up to Park Slope.

It looked like this http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=5888166

On my way to the Williamsburg Bridge the sky looked kinda crazy.

It looked crazier with my eys. The camera phone did not do it justice.

A little further uptown I saw a cool new thing. A table for cleaning fish

Across the bridge in Williamsburg I came across the COOLEST SUSTAINABLE VENDING MACHINE IN NYC.

Yep. That is what is says. It is because it sells bike parts. There was also a tire pump chained to it.

Speaking of sustainable, across the street from the most sustainable building that I have ever been in. (go to the bottom of this post for more on Building 92) they were installing the CitiBike bike sharing program.

Lets see how this works out. I have read that it works OK in other cities, but this is NY. I am hopeful.

Almost home and in the grey area along the East River in Carroll Gardens I saw some writing on the sidewalk

I stepped back and saw that the shadow of this brave red oak remained.

It would not stand a chance. It is a tough place to be a tree. But that is where we would have appreciated it the most.

A new bridge.

2013-04-11T15:00:00.002-04:00

Two and a half years ago, when my kids were still in 5th grade, I bumped into a bunch of kids on a school trip. It turned out that it was a 6th grade class trip that my kids did take when they changed schools and became Click here for a blog post about the trip I took last year.

Yesterday in a run I ran into a class trip that my kids took last year. Really. I was running down Court St and there were a bunch of 6th graders conducting surveys in front of a Starbucks. Another bunch behind behind Borough Hall. I know it throws off the results but I took the survey 4 or 5 times.

It really didn't bother me to stop my run for 5 or 10 minutes. My goal was to do a little sightseeing. I wanted to see the newest bridge in NYC. The Squib Park Bridge

Brian Driscoll for The New York Times

When you walk onto the bridge you read this sign

I read it, but forgot it. Till I stepped onto the bridge.

Serious bounce. I can't wait to take my kids there.

It does not look bouncy

But from the underside you can see that it is seriously springy

and Brooklyn Bridge Park now has a third bridge, besides the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges.

Fun with Google Streetview

2013-04-11T07:44:00.001-04:00

I think the Google Car caught a diaper changing moment. Check out the Streetview.

44 W 81st St. Across the street from the American Museum of Natural History.

It's a trade off.

2013-04-09T22:59:00.000-04:00

I do actually leave Brooklyn. Sometimes I actually got out of NYC. I do see how other people live. They have bigger houses that cost less. They have things called lawns and backyards. They don't have to move their car just so the street might get cleaned. Their kids go to schools with actual athletic facilities. They have community pools that you actually want to spend the day at. Yea, there are pluses that I am missing out on.

Today I did not miss them

Today I chaperoned another class trip. This was a great trip. My kids are finishing up their study of geology, specifically how glaciers left their mark on The Earth. So on this first wonderfully warm day of 2013 (up to 82 degrees) the class walked out of their school building and went down the staircase on the corner and took the B train to 81st St. 30 minutes later we were in Central Park.

This Central Park

Just to look at rocks.

Billions of people live their entire lives without getting to Central Park and my kids do it on a whim just to look at rocks.

I learned something too.

I always thought these lines were caused by the glacier. Notsomuch. They are from the way the rock folded when it was being created, deep underground.

These grooves were scratched by the glacier. The kids used compasses to see that all those lines faced the same way.

all the groves on all the rocks in Central Park are aligned North - South.

The kids also observed that this stone is a glacial erratic. Eleven year olds love to say that.

The kids had their lunch on the steps of the American Museum of Natural History. (That happens to be the San Remo behind the kids, It is where they filmed Ghostbusters)

Since they were studying the earth and still had an hour to kill. We actually went into the museum.

and back to school by 1:30.

Yea, I am happy to be raising City Kids.

Hey, while researching this blog post I played with Google Street View. I think the Google Car caught a diaper changing moment. Check out the Streetview.

View Larger Map

How is that for my 1,000th post?

"You finished third"

2013-04-08T08:35:00.000-04:00

I don't hear that a lot. Well, at least not when anyone is talking to me.

This weekend I was planning to run about 18 miles. I had many choices on how to get that done.

I could have joined my team for their regular group run,
I could have left a little early and run to Central Park to cheer on my teammates there.
I could have left a little early and run to Riverside Park to cheer on my friends there.

But those don't add up to 18

I was thinking of running down to Coney Island and over to Owls Head Park to check out the rebuilding.

But I had enough with traffic lights.

Last Friday I attend my friend Paul's funeral. In his youth, Paul was a champion ultra-marathoner. When I got to know Paul Soskind he was a prolific race walker. I always looked forward to seeing Paul in Prospect Park. Not just because he was one of the few people I know that made me look less crazy, but because when he went out for a run he choose a pace and stuck to it. That pace was my goal pace. Yes, Paul Soskind, who was almost 20 years my senior, was my rabbit. And, yes, he never let both his feet leave the ground.

At the service I found out that there was a 6/3 hour race the next day. What a better way to get in my 18 miles that to do it as part of an ultra. For Paul I pushed myself to have even splits.

here are my splits for the 1.453 mile loop

Just after the finish

14:05

14:57

14:41

15:22 (I had to pee)

14:24

14:38

14:44

15:44 (had to pee again)

14:58

14:52

15:00

14:18

+2:14

Going into the race I thought It was a 1.5 mile loop so I was extremely pleased with fact that I ran more than 12 loops. However I only ran 17.66 miles. I am not really complaining. I hope Paul wold have been impressed with my even splits.

This is not boring, and thanks Stefanie Zizzo's flcker

When I finished I hung around for the awards ceremony. It was a small field so I thought I might have placed in my age group. However, for the 3 hour race, they only gave out trophies to the winners in each gender. But in the end, when I was enjoying pizza with some serious world class athletes, Richie looked over at me and said."Michael, you finished third."

I really could not bring myself to ask what he meant by third. Third in my age group or third over all. It turns out I was the third male. The 2 men that ran further than me were actually in the age group I will be in in 2 months, so I won my age group. There was also 3 women who ran further than me. ~~But yes~~, I finished third.

We'er Back, ya'all.

2013-04-05T21:50:00.000-04:00

As described earlier, we took a Spring Break Road Trip.

It Atlanta we visited the Georgia Aquarium, the largest indoor aquarium in the world. It was worth the trip. It looked like most of the other families made a shorter trip. It was here that I noticed that these southern families were not like mine; They were younger. People that I thought were big brothers or sisters were actually parents. Maybe some of them should have read the sign to the left.

It was kinda like a reunion because this beluga is from The Coney Island Aquarium. She was doing a flip for us.

The main attraction at this aquarium was the dolphin show. "Show" is the operative word here. According to About.com "The newest residents at the Georgia Aquarium are 11 Atlantic bottlenose dolphins. Unlike most of the sea creatures at the Aquarium, the dolphins will not be on display except on special occasions. Instead, they will be part of a Broadway-quality show called Dolphin Tales." Holy shit, was this a show. But not the Broadway I grew up with, this was the new Disnyfied Broadway. The most amusing part of the show for my kids was that they got to watch me squirm in pain as I looked at our tickets to see how much we paid to see this crap. Lots of bad dancing and some lip syncing and no science or anything educational at all.

We did some research and found that there is a restaurant in Atlanta. Flip Burger is owned by one of the competitors form one of them Food Network Shows. The drive there was cool too. It I think we drove through a neighborhood called "The Park Slope of Georgia" Eating there was like eating in Willimsburg because nobody talked like a New Yorker expect that when we looked out the window we saw sky as opposed to another building or a bus..
We went back to our hotel and next door was the Museum of Coca Cola. I could not imagine paying money to see a collection of soda related products. We looked at it after dinner and it was closed anyway. They do make sure you don't bring you hand gun in with you. Below is a photo of my son and the man who invented Coke.

17 spoons of sugar.

Then we drove on to New Orleans. That city was mostly about eating. Our first stop was the Cafe Du Monde for, zeppoles, I mean beignets. If they were zeppoles we would be eating them outside in the streets of Little Italy. Beignets are breakfast food.

We wandered the streets of the French Quarter and it reminded me of pre-Giuliani Times Square, but wilt slightly less porn and the drinks had more artificial colors. I had one meal that stood out as special. We randomally walked into Sylvain's on Chartres Street. The service was authentically friendly and everyone liked their dinner. I actually ordered a food that I thought was extinct. As you know I grew up in Sheepshead Bay. The bay was named after the sheepshead fish, which has long disappeared from Mid-Atlantic waters. I learned last week that it is common in the Gulf of Mexico. It made for good eating.

Thanks VeronicaG at Virtual Tourist

We happened to wander into the Palace Cafe just for dessert. Little did we know that they had a special place for people to sit who just wanted dessert. They have a Dessert Bar; 8 or 9 stools facing a window into the dessert station in their kitchen. We did not have to look at a menu, we got to see what was being made. But we had our's prepared at our table. Bananas Foster. We happened to be in the place were Mr Foster ordered it every night.

Do you see the window in the back. That is where we sat, looking into the kitchen. Seriously, I bet an entire meal at that place would have been great.

If the crusty kids were a bit nicer they
would get more drugs.

NOLA (as it is spelled on the t-shirts) is also a cool city to explore. Like New York it has it's "element". We have many types of people ~~living in~~ occupying the streets and other public places.. We have the homeless who find that the subway platform is safer than the shelter and the mentally ill who are Lost. We also have crusties. (hippies who choose to beg and live in the streets) Even though the outskirts of NOLA were still devastated by hurricane damage we did not see any evidence of it's human suffering in the French Quarter. Just a lot of fools that gravitated towards the fact that public intoxication is legal and acceptable in New Orleans. Those days are behind me. One can drink in public as long as it is not in glass. We had to climb over a pile of them to get to the Mississippi River.

We also took some official tours. On our fist full day in New Orleans we took a Swamp Tour. It was fun for the whole family.

We took a flat bottomed boat into the swamp.

and we did see an alligator. Our guide said they were just coming out of brumation. Their metabolism was still slow so they were not so hungry. Our guide said they can't resist a marshmallow because they think they are eggs. I like eggs but think marshmallows are junk. Does that make me an alligator?

The boat tour was definitely great. but we choose the optional bus ride to the swamp, thinking that that ride would be somewhat touristy. Notsomuch. It was just a bus ride and it cost as much as the boat tour. We could have save $100 and driven. Afterward we might have taken a detour and had some real cajun cooking.

We also got to see some of the destruction left by Katrina. I made a point of NOT asking any of the locals about the hurricanes. I know I don't like it when tourists ask me about "9-11"

The next day the boys and girls split up for different tours. The girls went on a buggy ride pulled by a mule. They got an interesting tour of the city and they got off and entered one of New Orleans' above ground cemeteries. There they leaned that Nicholas Cage has been preoccupied with New Orleans. He moved into the French Quarter but the locals would not accept him till he bought a grave site. There it is to the left. The locals think it is ugly. Later that night we saw Nick Cage's house. (Did you know that Nicholas' real last name is Coppola and that he is 25 years younger than is less hansom brother Francis.)

We were also just a short drive to the Gulf of Mexico. Didn't go there either. We see the ocean all the time. Why go out of our way to see a gulf.

The boy and I got in the car and drove to Fulsom La. to visit the Global Wildlife Center. For me the coolest part of this mini road trip was getting there. We got to drive across the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway. The boy got to sit in the front seat and take this photo.

I was actually a little disappointed with the Wildlife Center. Or maybe I should just say frustrated. For the first time in a few days we left the world of tourism and were experiencing life as locals do. I forgot it was Spring Break. The place was infested with campers and piles of kids supervised by not enough grown ups.

The main activity there was to ride in a wagon into the animals habitat and feed them. We did not know about the feeding part. At most of the zoos I have been to you can put a quarter in a gum ball machine and get a handful of animal food. Here families drooped $30 on a 5 gallon bucket of food. Then the kids proceeded to through it at the animals.

It was not a very natural setting for these beasts. Most of them were quite overfed.
In fact our guide told us that some of the animals were not put there on purpose. The ducks just flew in and ate so much that they got to fat to leave.

This place seamed to me to be a real life animal version of Wall-E. Not the cute robot love story part, but the part about the fact that people got so used to having food shoved down their throats that they could not even get up and get it if they tried.

We also took the Haunted History Tour. I don't think I would have been uninterested in anything on this tour even if I was not exhausted. It is a week later and I don't even remember anything. But I do think it was cool that we saw Touchdown Jesus. Our guide said it was older than the one in Notre Dame. Like I knew what he was talking about. But I took a photo anyway.

Little did I know that we were staying a few block from the actual place that my guitar hero died. Johnny Thunders overdosed at the Saint Peter Guest House, just a few short blocks from where we were staying. Maybe I can organize a tour here in NYC Rock Stars seam to come here to crash and burn.. We will walk by all the places where rock stars died. Hey, look, it kinda exists already.

On the drive home we were halfway through Tennessee we looked ahead and realized that Bristol looked like a good place to stop. We took out the smart phone got a good deal in a hotel. Our suite was bigger than my first apartment. Seriously, in Park Slope it would have been worth at least $500,000, $750,000 with a doorman. Well that was for the perfectly adequate Hampton Inn - Bristol.

On the way to the exit in Bristol we saw a billboard for Bristol Caverns. Hey, we only had to dive 600 more miles to get home, so why don't we go there in the morning. It was not a big time killer and we got to dive on State Street. The Eastbound side was in Tennessee and the Westbound side was in Virginia, cool!

Anyway we had a very nice 30 minute tour of the Caverns. A little history, a little science and the guide let my son hold the flashlight. Very nice and not far from the Route 81.

And then I got a spot right in front of my house.

What more could I ask.

2,815

2013-03-31T17:55:00.000-04:00

Google Maps put the trip at 2,774 miles, but my odometer said a little more.

NY NJ DE MD DC VA NC SC GA AL MS LA MS AL GA TN VA WV MD PA NJ NY

Atlanta New Orleans Bristol?

CENTRAL TIME

View Larger Map

The driving was not so uneventful.

I heard a strange noise when I was drinking my fist (of many) cups of coffee. I thought I was driving next to a truck that had a big leak, or something. There as a very out of place sloshing sound. It turns out it was the sound of the hot coffee poring out from under the lid onto my sweatshirt. A lot of it pored out until I felt the burning. Then it was too late, my shirt was then soaked through with hot coffee. My screams only woke some of the family. The good news was that it cooled quick. I was able to put my cold damp shirt on my burnt skin at 80mph.

Route 85 just West of 95 in Virginia was kinda creepy. Super strait with lots of tall leafless trees on either side. We called it Ax Murderer Highway. Maybe that was not so funny. We drove through some rain and saw the remains of some very serious accidents. We saw a car wedged sideways and backwards between some trees. There was also a large contingent from the Virginia State Accident Investigation Bureau, and a truck from the Coroner's Office. I told the kids that it was all put there to remind us to drive carefully. I lied but it worked.

Approaching Atlanta there was a loud thud against the windshield. In the morning we saw that the widow was broken. Good thing we got "full glass". I will find out later in the week if that is really worth it.

In Alabama we passed a sign that said "Confederate War Historic Sight", not Civil war, but "Confederate War". I never heard it refereed to as the Confederate War. And actually until a few years ago when I chaperoned a class trip to Gettysburg I thought Confederate meant fake or counterfeit. As in the fact that confederate money was not worth much in the numismatic world. If I woulda seen it again I wolda taken a picture. I also just spent some serious time looking for that image online, but to no avail. But I am serious, there was a sign leading to a "Confederate War Historic Sight."

God seamed to have a lot of signs too. Not just billboards for radio stations that profit by talking about god. Lots of homes and business owners felt compelled to make sure the world knew what religion they believed in. Lots of religious symbols on private property and many even covered their walls with numbered lists of "commandments" As an Atheist this worries me. So if some guy suddenly he is not worried about his afterlife he will have no problem killing me. OK, I will stop.

Another issue that I had on the road is that I had to do all the driving back home. That is doable because I never found the passenger seat to be a relief from driving, But since I had to cover over 1,300 miles in 2 days I drank A LOT OF COFFEE. Lately I have been drinking one cup a day. In each of the 2 days of driving I think I had 10 cups.,.,,,,,,,..... Did you ever pee and when you were done say to yourself that that was the most you ever peed in your life? (Don't answer that out loud.) Well I did that twice a day for 2 days. And this morning I did not have the energy to run. Ya know why? Because I was dehydrated.

Also on the way home my wife had to participate in a conference call. Some of the people were in the West Coast, some were in NYC. When the call was set up we were in Alabama. The conference call app on her phone have her the correct time to join the call when we were in Central Time and alerted her to he time change when we moved from one time zone to another. I didn't see that coming.

When the photos come back from the drugstore I will post a more touristy blog.

Take a Trip!

2013-03-22T21:56:00.000-04:00

I might have missed blogging about some of my kids class trips.The have kinda gotten routine. In the last two weeks I chaperoned 3 class trips in 6 school days. It would have been 4 trips but, both my kids went on them same trip together.

Here is one of them as they participated in mock court. There is nothing they did that they could not do if they were in a classroom. But they defiantly stepped up their game in a real court room. We were not really supposed to bring cameras into this Federal Building, but if I could have I would have taken a photo like the one below. That is some hallway.

An interior view of the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the Eastern District of New York. Thank you Brooklyn Eagle

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I got to chaperon both my kids on two different days to the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. The kids were studying geology and the effects of glaciers. It only took 15 minutes to get there from their school. They left at 10:30 and were back for lunch. It is kinda neat that the only other people up there with us were tourists. The kids don't know how lucky they are.

But my son know how lucky he is. Yes, he appreciates being a Brooklynitte. But he also knows how lucky he is that he has a dad that comes on most of the class trips.

Back in the day my class took a trip to a Yankee Game. It was a night game and it was the '70s. Back then the drinking age was only 18 so we were mostly drunk when the game ended. When I say all I mean all I mean all. The 11th graders, the teachers and the chaperons were blasted by the end of the game. Just as weer were leaving The Bronx someone blurted out "Where are Joey and Peaty?" Yea, we left 2 kids in The Boogie Down Bronx... at 11PM... in 1978. Who know that a school bus can make a u-turn on the Triboro Bridge. We got back to the parking lot and drove towards the blinky police light. Joey and Peaty were sitting on the hood of the cop car. Then I decided that I would go on a many class trips if I could.

You might want to know why I said that my son know how lucky he is. No, he does not know about my drunken night at Yankee Stadium (he might soon.). He know ho lucky he is because I heard him say "YEA DADDY" when I walked into his classroom for the second time in 2 day. Just as he said that the boy next to him sadly said "I wish my dad would come on a class trip." I wished his dad would come too. Not because the kids was a little unruly. Because he needs to see how much his dad cares. So, if you are still reading this and have school age kids TAKE A DAY OFF AND CHAPERON A TRIP. DO IT ONCE AND IT WILL BE THE TRIP YOU KID REMEMBERS FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE.