Whatever It Is, I’m Against It

What is the capital of Nelsonia?

2009-12-19T14:11:00.000-08:00

As part of the deal Harry Reid cut with Ben Nelson, Nebraska will henceforth be known as Nelsonia. Adjust your maps accordingly.

Meaningful and unprecedented

2009-12-19T11:46:00.001-08:00

Obama called his little deal at the Copenhagen summit a “meaningful and unprecedented breakthrough.” Because if there’s one thing that is both full of meaning and totally without precedent, it’s the world’s nations agreeing to “take note” of a non-binding aspirational document with no targets or compliance oversight that even if adhered to wouldn’t come close to averting global environmental catastrophe.

George Monbiot calls the closed-door negotiations among the big states “a scramble for the atmosphere comparable in style and intent to the scramble for Africa.”

Some people, of course, think even this goes too far.

Today -100: December 19, 1909: Of college girls, scabs, and monkey-on-the-sticks

2009-12-19T00:01:00.000-08:00

Manhattan’s District-Attorney-Elect Charles Whitman (Wikipedia tells us that he was later governor, that Christine Todd-Whitman is married to his grandson, and that he was not the Texas tower sniper) (I had to look him up to get his first name; the NYT in 1909 was absolutely allergic to using first names) has chosen a deputy assistant, Cornelius McDougald, who is an actual negro, and will appoint a woman deputy to oversee work in the Children’s Court.

The Sunday paper, has a feature on “college girls,” by which they mean recent college graduates such as women’s suffragist Inez Milholland and her Vassar cohort, who have been joining the shirtwaist strikers on the picket line, attempting to prevent arrests, and arguing on behalf of the strikers in court. (The NYT also reports that wealthy suffragist Alva Belmont has been providing lawyers and bail money to arrested strikers.) Seeing the treatment of female strikers by police and Night Court, and hearing from the shirtwaist-makers about their work conditions, has been a radicalizing experience for them. Strikers have been invited to give talks to many middle- and upper-class women’s clubs.

Here’s a helpful tip if you’re ever on a picket line in 1909 New York: the word “scab,” shouted at the scabs, is against the law, and you can be arrested for it. “Strikebreaker” is okay. The scabs can yell pretty much anything they like at the strikers.

A story in the Sunday magazine section has Santa Claus complaining about these kids today: “Years ago children were satisfied with Jack-in-the-boxes, monkey-on-the-sticks, and other inexpensive baubles, but nowadays they’re looking for a whole string of iron cars, miniature automobiles, and flying machines.”

Torture is constitutional. It’s official.

2009-12-18T10:14:00.000-08:00

Chris Floyd says what needs to be said about the Supreme Court’s decision to let the D.C. Circuit Court’s ruling in the Rasul case stand, as the Obama Justice Dept urged. I’d just add a link to my post two years ago on that ruling, which was remarkable for asserting that torture was precisely what was intended when Guantanamo was set up, so the torturers could not be sued because they were just doing the job for which they were employed.

Today -100: December 18, 1909: Of exiles and fish splits

2009-12-18T00:01:00.000-08:00

Zelaya plans to leave Nicaragua.

Headline of the Day -100: “Harvard Split Over Fish.” Sadly, the story doesn’t live up to the potential of that headline, although the news day was so singularly uneventful that it was on the front page. The fish in question is not of the piscine variety, but Hamilton Fish III, captain of the football team (and later an isolationist congresscritter, rabid anti-semite and centenarian; not to be confused with the publisher of The Nation), who lost the class election to be First Marshal (I think it’s like class president) to someone who hadn’t made the football team. There are many bitter feelings and Fish fled Harvard for New York, but claims he “didn’t care a rap which way the election went.”

But I think it’s wrong

2009-12-17T20:46:00.001-08:00

John McCain, complaining after Al Franken, presiding over the Senate, cut off Joe Lieberman’s 10-minute speech at 10 minutes: “I don’t know what’s happening here in this body, but I think it’s wrong.”

Why is it

2009-12-17T18:54:00.000-08:00

that whenever I hear a news story about American drones killing people, I think of Joe Lieberman?

Today -100: December 17, 1909: Of fallen presidents, dead kings, trouble-making tin mills, immigrants’ children’s heads, and lowering standards

2009-12-17T00:01:00.000-08:00

Nicaraguan President José Santos Zelaya resigns. To avoid further bloodshed and to avoid giving the US “a pretext for intervention,” he says, not because he was losing militarily.

The US has graciously decided to postpone demanding payment from Cuba of the $6,509,511 it claims Cuba owes the US compensate it for the expense of occupying Cuba.

US Steel responds to the declaration of war by the unions (2 days ago) by announcing a plan to dismantle its “trouble-making” tin mills (in the words of the president of the US Steel-owned American Sheet and Tin Plate Company) in Pittsburg altogether and build a new one in Gary, Ind. for $4,500,000.

A Immigration Commission report to Congress says that the children of immigrants look more like Americans. Actually, it only looked at Sicilians and Eastern European Jews in New York, but evidently the heads of the Sicilians’ children are no longer so long and those of the Jews are no longer so round and Jewy.

The British general election, called for January 1910, is in full swing, and many Conservative members of the House of Lords have been heckled and shouted down at election meetings. In part this is because it’s traditional for peers to keep out of elections to the other House, and in part because this election is largely about the constitutional position of the House of Lords, which has been screwing with the Liberal government’s bills for years (think Joe Lieberman), but went far beyond what most people considered its legitimate role to be when it rejected the budget, something the Lords hadn’t done for 250 years.

The suffragettes have also been actively heckling candidates, mostly Liberals. One jumped into Chancellor of the Exchequer Lloyd George’s car and “upbraided and shook” him.

Leopold, the king of the Belgians, died.

Incoming Yale science and engineering students will no longer have to know Latin.

Does every post have to have a clever title? I think not.

2009-12-16T10:31:00.000-08:00

Headline of the Day (London Times): “Oldest Butter in the World Found in Robert Scott’s Antarctic Hut.”

Sarah Palin, who certainly isn’t pandering for a 2012 presidential run, has a post about the true meaning of Hanukkah on her Facebook page. Since it was written by her ghost writer, the moral of the story of the oil that burned for 8 days is “With hope and dedication nothing is impossible, and the Almighty never abandons those who seek the light” and not “drill, baby, drill.”

If Obama thought that we’d accept moving some of Guantanamo’s prisoners to Illinois while continuing the Bushian system of extra-legal indefinite confinement to be the fulfillment of his campaign promise to “close Guantanamo,” he could have just changed Guantanamo’s name, put up a few new signs, and saved a whole lot of money.

Ben Bernanke named Time’s Man of the Year. Joe Lieberman will have his revenge for this, oh he will have his revenge.

Now for another electrifying edition of Here Are Some News Stories, Write Your Own Damn Jokes, I Have a Headache: The D.C. city council voted 11-2 for marriage equality. One of the dissenters was Marion “Bitch Set Me Up” Barry.

Annotated White House Flickr feed.

Today -100: December 16, 1909: Of Carrie Nation, divinity students, racist congressmen and Nicaraguan presidents all behaving badly. Also, cork legs.

2009-12-16T00:01:00.000-08:00

Rep. Foster of Ill. introduced a bill for Civil War veterans who were honorably discharged (and presumably had had their leg or legs amputated) to be given new artificial cork legs every three years.

Carrie Nation visited the House and Senate buildings. Finding a House messenger smoking, she knocked the cigarette out of his mouth.

Divinity students at the McCormick Theological Seminary in Chicago hanged and then burned the effigy of a professor of Hebrew in front of his residence. The students had failed to get the Faculty to drop Hebrew from the curriculum. What Would Ku Klux Klan Jesus Do?

Rep. J. Thomas Heflin of Alabama introduces a bill to segregate street cars in D.C. Heflin, the NYT reminds us, shot a black man (and, by ricochet, a white bystander) on a D.C. street car in 1908 for drinking whiskey in the presence of ladies (here’s the original story on that. Heflin said, “Under the circumstances there was nothing else for me to do.” Clearly.), and 21 months later still hasn’t been tried for it (he never will be, and Heflin, truly a vile piece of shit, would brag about the incident in later election campaigns) (he didn’t have to worry about the black vote in Alabama, having drafted the provision of the 1901 Alabama constitution that banned negroes from voting).

One Frederick Palmer has written an article about Zelaya in The Outlook which accuses him of having made a fortune off of state monopolies and that “Zelaya freely practices the droits de seigneur of the Dark Ages.”

Oral Roberts

2009-12-15T16:36:00.000-08:00

no longer so oral.

Shouting, screaming or vocalisation at such a level as to be a statutory nuisance

2009-12-15T08:40:00.000-08:00

News Story of the Day (BBC): “Noisy Sex Woman Admits Asbo Breach”

Every sentence in this story sounds dirty:

“A woman who was given an anti-social behaviour order banning her from making loud noises during sex has admitted breaching the order.” Heh heh, they said “breaching the order.”

“Caroline and Steve Cartwright’s love-making was described as ‘murder’ and ‘unnatural’ at Newcastle Crown Court. Neighbours, the local postman and a woman taking her child to school complained about the noise.” And those are just the people she had sex with Tuesday. Zing!

A neighbor said, “I cannot describe the noise. I have never ever heard anything like it.” Then she sighed wistfully and repeated, “I have never ever heard anything like it.”

“In November, Cartwright appealed against a noise abatement notice imposed in 2007, as well as the subsequent Asbo, which banned the couple from shouting, screaming or vocalisation at such a level as to be a statutory nuisance’. Her bid was rejected by Recorder Jeremy Freedman, who said: ‘It certainly was intrusive and constituted a statutory nuisance. It was clearly of a very disturbing nature and it was also compounded by the duration - this was not a one-off, it went on for hours at a time.’” Then he sighed wistfully and repeated, “For hours at a time.”

“‘It is further compounded by the frequency of the episode, virtually every night.’” Then he sighed wistfully and repeated, “Virtually every night.”

“Sunderland City Council told the court they had recorded noise levels of up to 47 decibels using equipment installed at Cartwright’s neighbour’s house. World Health Organisation guidelines state that 30 decibels is enough to cause sleep disturbance.” World Health Organisation guidelines also state that sex that produces noise levels of 47 decibels is “awesome.”

The world as it is

2009-12-15T04:59:00.000-08:00

I didn’t give Obama nearly enough shit for his Nobel Prize speech. For example, I ignored the bit about how the US “helped underwrite global security... with the blood of our citizens and the strength of our arms” in Vietnam and Grenada, or something.

But what’s still stuck in my craw five days later is the smugness-disguised-as-pragmatism of the line about how he’d really like to live by Gandhi and King’s code but “I face the world as it is.” Really, is that what you do. Gandhi and King faced down Bull Connor and General Dyer, police dogs, fire hoses and the freaking British Army. They willingly went into prison cells knowing they might not come out again, they confronted hate and violence with no weapons beyond their moral courage. I think they faced the world as it is, Barack. Whereas you faced, what, the withering sarcasm of your professor in contract law?

Mr. Obama, here is a dime, call your mother, tell her there is serious doubt about you ever deserving that prize.

Today -100: December 15, 1909: Of toilers’ right of American manhood, boozing it up in Worcester, and war balloons

2009-12-15T00:01:00.000-08:00

A labor conference in Pittsburg (according to Wikipedia, it was spelled without the h from 1890 to 1911), presided over by Samuel Gompers of the AFL, has “declared war,” as the NYT put it, on US Steel and its new open shop policy. It passed a resolution asserting that “The gigantic trust... is using its great wealth and power in an effort to rob the toilers of their right of American manhood” and “is now engaged in an effort to destroy the only factor, the organizations of its employes, standing between it and unlimited, unchecked, and unbridled industrial, political, social, and moral carnage.” It asks every member of every union in America to aid the striking workers by contributing 10¢ each.

The NYT’s Nicaragua correspondent (who is openly biased) claims that Managua is in open revolt against Pres. Zelaya, with demonstrations in the streets. The government has broken the armistice, claiming that the negotiations were over, and with them the armistice, when the rebels rejected Zelaya’s nomination of Madriz as a successor. The people are demanding American intervention, says the correspondent. The American company in charge of electricity in the capital is threatening to cut off power if it is not paid pronto.

To date Taft has said nothing in public about Nicaragua, bar one oblique reference in the State of the Union address, even as he dispatches marines and gunboats.

Mexico has sent a special envoy to Washington to present its positions on Nicaragua, but the State Dept has been outright lying about his purpose there and falsely denying that he brought any proposals. Mexico wants Zelaya retained in at least nominal power, or if not him, Madriz.

The NYT responds to yesterday’s report on conditions in steerage, saying that they’re not really any worse than conditions in European or American slum tenements. Therefore, while the snooty investigator might have been disgusted by the smells and dirt and lack of privacy and overcrowding, those people are used to them. So that’s okay then.

The largest “dry” city in the world, Worcester, Mass., voted to end prohibition. 29 Massachusetts cities voted on the question in 1909 – it sounds like they do this every single year. Salem went dry. The Times doesn’t say how many of them are wet or dry, but the total vote gave a 12,467 majority for allowing liquor licenses, compared to a 8,936 prohibitionist majority in 1908.

Headline of the Day -100: “German Dirigibles Frighten France.” Or “war balloons,” as the article also calls them.

Two headlines that could be shortened

2009-12-14T06:49:00.000-08:00

Extraneous words in strikeout:

WaPo: “Afghan Government Not Keeping Promises ~~to Insurgents Changing Sides~~.”

CNN: “Lieberman Opposes ~~Medicare at 55~~.”

The wrinkliest death panel of all

2009-12-14T05:52:00.000-08:00

Saturday I posted about the 98-year-old woman in the nursing home who killed her 100-year-old roommate. In comments, Athenawise wrote, “Somehow the right will find a way to blame liberals” for this. Well, it did happen in Massachusetts.

CONTEST: How will Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, or any other right-wing talking head of your choice blame the liberals?

Today -100: December 14, 1909: Of steerage, sore paws, and the Methodist attack upon Africa

2009-12-14T00:01:00.000-08:00

The Immigration Commission reported to the Senate on conditions of the steerage section on steamship. Oddly enough, not good. “Everything was dirty, sticky, and disagreeable to the touch,” said one female agent who traveled undercover. Sexual harassment of women passengers in steerage is common. The agent had to belt one member of the crew (who I’m guessing was also dirty, sticky, and disagreeable to the touch), and fend off constant requests by Leonardo diCaprio to “paint” her. And the sanitation, and the food...

If I may indulge in a little foreshadowing: Speaker of the House Joseph Cannon, asked about the possibility of his retiring as speaker, “elevated the muzzle of his cigar a few degrees and came back with the remark that he ‘wasn’t crossing any bridges until he came to them.’” And Rep. Augustus Peabody Gardner (R-Mass.) (what, you thought somebody named Augustus Peabody Gardner would be a Democrat?) says that he does want some alteration in the powers and/or the person of the speaker, but “The fact that my paws are sore is not sufficient reason for licking them in public.”

With Sen. Isidor Rayner (Blowhard-MD) calling loudly for Nicaraguan Pres. Zelaya to be tried by the United States for the execution of Cannon and Groce, the NYT editorial page brings up an embarrassing precedent: In 1818 Gen. Andrew Jackson, commanding the invasion of Spanish Florida, ordered the execution of British citizens Arbuthnot and Ambrister for aiding the Seminole and Creek Indians.

Pres. Taft gave a speech at Carnegie Hall (after which he was saved by the Secret Service from being pushed off the stage by a crowd of people trying to shake hands with him) in celebration of the diamond jubilee of the Methodist Episcopal missions in Africa or, in Taft’s approving words, “the attack of the Methodist Church upon Africa.” He suggested they establish a bishopric in the Philippines and said that “if I were a missionary I had rather try my hand in a country like China, that has a history of two, three, four, or five thousand years, than to go into Africa, that has no history at all except that which we trace to the apes.”

2009 in Pictures

2009-12-13T04:05:00.000-08:00

As I anticipated, the absence of George Bush’s chimp-like visage was a devastating loss to the world of goofy news photos and those of us who depend on them. Still, soldier on we must. Here’s what 2009 looked like.

Here’s a guy who held up a BP station in Clacton-on-Sea, Essex using underwear as a mask:

This summer was marked by a series of highly photogenic riots in Jerusalem against municipal parking lots being open on the sabbath.

Today -100: December 13, 1909: Of imperialist choo choos and fetish-worshipping puritans

2009-12-13T00:01:00.000-08:00

The British have completed the Cape-Cairo Railway. 2,147 miles of track.

Anti-women’s suffrage speeches were given by the banker Henry Clews at the Brooklyn Masonic Temple, who refused to debate suffragists in the audience, and one Emma Goldman at Lyric Hall, who said that women are worshippers of fetishes, the latest of which is the vote. Women, she said, are narrow-minded and puritanical, “always wanting to clean up something,” as opposed to men, who have outgrown morals. The quest for the vote is a wild-goose chase. Not that she’s against women’s suffrage per se, just that the vote is not worth having. Unlike Clews, she was willing to argue her anarchist position against suffragists, including Maud Malone, who would be arrested in 1912 for heckling Woodrow Wilson on the subject.

The Chief of the Bureau of Insular Affairs, Gen. Clarence Edwards, recommends that US citizenship be given to Puerto Ricans.

Of baggy shorts and saggy skin

2009-12-12T04:55:00.001-08:00

Gratuitous Headline of the Day: “Hindu Nationalists Drop Their Baggy Shorts.” Their uniform of baggy shorts, I might add.

Don’t you love stories of senior citizens participating in activities usually engaged in by much younger people? Me too.

Today -100: December 12, 1909: Of sending in the Marines, pancakes, inter-racial banqueting, and marionettes

2009-12-12T00:01:00.000-08:00

The NYT is quite confused about what orders the US marines in the region of Nicaragua might have received (and the Taft admin has felt no particular obligation to explain its policy to the public). Gen. Estrada has asked the US consul for some marines to help him break the government siege of Bluefields, on the pretext of protecting American citizens resident in the town. An editorial is surprisingly anti-interventionist, given the paper’s previous anti-Zelaya coverage, noting that the US has “intervened savagely in defense of men attempting to dynamite a troopship” and that the rebels “possess scarcely more of the forms of government than a lynching party.”

The Civic Forum will hold a municipal banquet at which the newly elected city officials will speak. The headline: “Municipal Dinner to Be Inter-Racial.” Also invited: every clergyman in the city and NY’s only woman aeroplanist, Lillian Todd.

Pres. Taft met the 85 supervisors of the Census and warned them sternly against using their offices for political ends (most of the supervisors were recommended by members of Congress).

John D. Rockefeller has placed an order for 100 pounds of buckwheat flour to be sent to his daughter’s house. “Pancakes for the Rockefellers,” the headline says, but that seems like mere speculation. More developments as they occur. Occurred. Whatever.

The shirtwaist strike arbitration failed right at the start, the manufacturers being unwilling to talk about recognizing the union.

In a sign of the times, an Italian marionette theater, the last remaining one in NYC, is being displaced by those new-fangled moving pictures. The story is oddly moving. “So the seven fat volumes of marionette poetry, all the old Italian romances, have been taken up the Parisi tenement. One by one, the hundreds of dolls, those his father and grandfather had, will be put away or sold, and Signor Parisi will open a moving-picture show, too. ‘One must eat and live,’ he says.”

Clear!

2009-12-11T11:46:00.001-08:00

The tea party types are planning a “die in” at the Senate office buildings next week, to simulate how we’ll all die waiting for help under Obamacare. May I make one suggestion?

Call it a public option we can all support.

Baby’s first jihad

2009-12-11T04:53:00.000-08:00

Ousted Honduran President Zelaya was about to, finally, leave the Brazilian embassy for Mexico, but the coup regime won’t let him unless he first resigns as president and leaves as a political asylum-seeker, prohibited from engaging in any politics.

In Britain, the West Midlands counter-terrorism police unit “confirmed that counter-terrorist officers specially trained in identifying children and young people vulnerable to radicalisation had visited nursery schools.” They want teachers to turn in any nursery school children who draw pictures of bombs or say that all Christians are bad or that they believe in an Islamic state. (To state the perhaps obvious: a child who proclaims the need for an Islamic state is not radicalized so much as repeating what he or she has heard at home. The police are using state institutions to spy on infants as a way to indirectly spy on their parents.)

Today -100: December 11, 1909: Of arbitration, dictators, and bino

2009-12-10T22:27:00.000-08:00

The striking shirtwaist-makers and the bosses have agreed to arbitration (the employers are trying to get around recognizing the union).

It turns out that the Nicaraguan government forces characterized in the NYT as feeble were actually a cover for the real operation, as 3,000 troops move on the insurgent provisional government’s hq in the port city of Bluefields. The American consul has promised the outnumbered Estradaists support from the Marines on the Des Moines, anchored there. Another article insists that Estrada’s forces can easily survive a siege, but since it repeatedly refers to Zelaya as “the dictator,” its objectivity might be in some question.

Sen. Isidor Rayner (D-MD) introduces a resolution saying that Zelaya is guilty of murder and if the Estradaists fail to capture him, the US will have to.

In an interview, the, um, dictator Zelaya (in an article subtly headlined “Zelaya Yields To Our Power”) repeats his call for Secretary of State Knox to name a commission to investigate the charges against him (oddly, he never heard back). He says that Cannon and Groce were executed according to the laws of Nicaragua – evidently it’s illegal to command rebels. Zelaya says, “The attempt of Secretary Knox to establish the inviolability of the persons of Americans participating in foreign revolutions will result in constant revolutions led by immune Americans.” Zelaya seems to be looking for an exit strategy, saying he’d happily resign if it wouldn’t lead to faction fights with actual, you know, fighting, and that he is negotiating with the rebels on a successor acceptable to all parties; he has nominated Judge José Madriz. Zelaya blames the US’s hostility to him on President Cabrera of Guatemala.

More US soldiers are going insane in the Philippines than in any other branch of the military. The army blames homesickness, melancholy and bino, a Filipino beverage of some sort.

Money is fungible, you know

2009-12-10T12:48:00.001-08:00

How long before the Republicans propose banning women from possessing money, because they might spend it on abortions?