As some of you may know, I make a couple of dollars writing entries on my other blogs. If I’m lucky, I might earn as much as $10 a week (about two dollars an hour). In my state, if you make more than $600 a year, it becomes taxable income. So with the purchase of Dragon NaturallySpeaking, not only do I get a new toy, but any money that I make this year will make the effort of blogging-for-dollars worthwhile.

Fortunately, I do not live in Philadelphia. There, in the city of brotherly love (of taxpayer dollars apparently), the powers-that-be have decided to extort a $300 business license from the citizens who are bloggers. Take a look at this article to get an idea of how greedy our bloated and inefficient governments have become.

By the way, after a five-minute training session with this latest DNS version, I was able to dictate this entry directly into WordPress. Aside from a few minor hiccups, this post only took a few moments.

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Unlike when I use Word Press to create a post, I can preview this entry.  Word Press just throws up lots of errors and head aches.  Score one for Microsoft.

As a test of ‘insert’ functions, here is the latest Dilbert cartoon that, once again, shows how Scott Adams has surveillance equipment hidden around my work place.  I do need to point out that Mr.. Adams’ embellished this incident.  At work, management just assumed that ‘ship the product’ was spoken.  If there are any problems, “that’s why we have customers – free testing.”  Score two for Microsoft’s insert functions, and minus 10 billion for my work place management.

Spell checking works very well.  Score three for Microsoft.

Posting went very well.  I may have a new blogging tool!!!

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In second grade, I was taught by a nun who had a glass eye. I remember the girl next to me disrupting the class to the point that this large nun took out her ocular prosthetic, touched it to the girl and said, “I’m keeping my eye on you if you don’t act right!” The girl turned whiter than a frozen albino and never spoke again. To this day, I wonder if she had to undergo therapy.

Maybe we need to roll our eyes a little more often at the abuse of power and the waste of our money. How did these idiots get into office in the first place? Oh wait, YOU voted them in …

“They see me rollin’, they be hatin’”

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Click here to view the embedded video.

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As a result, I’ve added a anti-captcha plug-in to catch all of the stupid sites that aren’t playing nice with my blog. If you are a spammer who can read this, I hope your fingers rot and your eyeballs exploded … and I mean that in a good way.

For the rest of you, I have several hopefully entertaining posts lined up.

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In any case, over 50 years ago, poor West Virginians sent Bobby Byrd to Congress where he directed almost a billion dollars to his people. As a result, today you can find his constituents … well, still poor. Given that West Virginians elected him repeatedly for over half a century, you have to wonder about the IQ levels in that state.

Not to worry. Your tax dollars were well spent. After all, Mr. Byrd was a man of principle. In fact, many reporters remarked yesterday about how Robbin’ Robert was a valiant defender of the Constitution. Of course, given Byrd’s long history of pork barrel spending, it was like listening to someone call Charles Mason a valiant defender of the Ten Commandments. (Oh sure, Chuck had a little incident that ran slightly counter to “thou shalt not kill”. But if you can forget and forgive Bob’s career long transgressions against “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”, I’m sure you can just as easily overlook Chuck’s little stabby-stabby moment.)

As I read comments on various sites, some people are very sad that Robert is no longer in Congress. I don’t know why they’re so grief stricken. This falls under the same reason that you can’t kill politician. For every corrupt, elected bureaucrat who is out for your money and your personal freedom, there are ten more just waiting to dupe voters at the next election. So I’m sure that there are enough ignorant West Virginians who will replace Robert Byrd with another qualified thief. It just too bad that the rest of us have to suffer.

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He’s right. It shouldn’t be. After all, this is supposed to be the enlightened age of computer where everything is quick and easy. Yet, after an hour of having reset my blog to PHP 5 and repeatedly reinstalling to get this secret key and that special api id, I give up … for now. Too much other crap to do. If you find a post of mine that you like, just share it in your facebook link. Thanks…

Update: I hate leaving things unfinished. So I deactivated all the ‘Simple Facebook Plugin” modules, logged out, rebooted, logged in, reactivated the plugins. TA-DA! A Facebook ‘Like’ button appeared. It was so #$%#&#$%%# simple ….

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1 Carry your opponent’s proposition beyond its natural limits; exaggerate it.
The more general your opponent’s statement becomes, the more objections you can find against it. The more restricted and narrow your own propositions remain, the easier they are to defend.

2 Use different meanings of your opponent’s words to refute his argument.
Example: Person A says, “You do not understand the mysteries of Kant’s philosophy.” Person B replies, “Oh, if it’s mysteries you’re talking about, I’ll have nothing to do with them.”

3 Ignore your opponent’s proposition, which was intended to refer to some particular thing.
Rather, understand it in some quite different sense, and then refute it. Attack something different than what was asserted.

4 Hide your conclusion from your opponent until the end.
Mingle your premises here and there in your talk. Get your opponent to agree to them in no definite order. By this circuitous route you conceal your goal until you have reached all the admissions necessary to reach your goal.

5 Use your opponent’s beliefs against him.
If your opponent refuses to accept your premises, use his own premises to your advantage. Example, if the opponent is a member of an organization or a religious sect to which you do not belong, you may employ the declared opinions of this group against the opponent.

6 Confuse the issue by changing your opponent’s words or what he or she seeks to prove.
Example: Call something by a different name: “good repute” instead of “honor,” “virtue” instead of “virginity,” “red-blooded” instead of “vertebrates”.

7 State your proposition and show the truth of it by asking the opponent many questions.
By asking many wide-reaching questions at once, you may hide what you want to get admitted. Then you quickly propound the argument resulting from the proponent’s admissions.

8 Make your opponent angry.
An angry person is less capable of using judgment or perceiving where his or her advantage lies.

9 Use your opponent’s answers to your question to reach different or even opposite conclusions.

10 If your opponent answers all your questions negatively and refuses to grant you any points, ask him or her to concede the opposite of your premises.
This may confuse the opponent as to which point you actually seek him to concede.

11 If the opponent grants you the truth of some of your premises, refrain from asking him or her to agree to your conclusion.
Later, introduce your conclusions as a settled and admitted fact. Your opponent and others in attendance may come to believe that your conclusion was admitted.

12 If the argument turns upon general ideas with no particular names, you must use language or a metaphor that is favorable to your proposition.
Example: What an impartial person would call “public worship” or a “system of religion” is described by an adherent as “piety” or “godliness” and by an opponent as “bigotry” or “superstition.” In other words, insert what you intend to prove into the definition of the idea.

13 To make your opponent accept a proposition, you must give him an opposite, counter-proposition as well.
If the contrast is glaring, the opponent will accept your proposition to avoid being paradoxical. Example: If you want him to admit that a boy must to everything that his father tells him to do, ask him, “whether in all things we must obey or disobey our parents.” Or , if a thing is said to occur “often” you are to understand few or many times, the opponent will say “many.” It is as though you were to put gray next to black and call it white; or gray next to white and call it black.

14 Try to bluff your opponent.
If he or she has answered several of your question without the answers turning out in favor of your conclusion, advance your conclusion triumphantly, even if it does not follow. If your opponent is shy or stupid, and you yourself possess a great deal of impudence and a good voice, the technique may succeed.

15 If you wish to advance a proposition that is difficult to prove, put it aside for the moment.
Instead, submit for your opponent’s acceptance or rejection some true proposition, as though you wished to draw your proof from it. Should the opponent reject it because he suspects a trick, you can obtain your triumph by showing how absurd the opponent is to reject an obviously true proposition. Should the opponent accept it, you now have reason on your side for the moment. You can either try to prove your original proposition, as in #14, maintain that your original proposition is proved by what your opponent accepted. For this an extreme degree of impudence is required, but experience shows cases of it succeeding.

16 When your opponent puts forth a proposition, find it inconsistent with his or her other statements, beliefs, actions or lack of action.
Example: Should your opponent defend suicide, you may at once exclaim, “Why don’t you hang yourself?” Should the opponent maintain that his city is an unpleasant place to live, you may say, “Why don’t you leave on the first plane?”

17 If your opponent presses you with a counter-proof, you will often be able to save yourself by advancing some subtle distinction.
Try to find a second meaning or an ambiguous sense for your opponent’s idea.

18 If your opponent has taken up a line of argument that will end in your defeat, you must not allow him to carry it to its conclusion.
Interrupt the dispute, break it off altogether, or lead the opponent to a different subject.

19 Should your opponent expressly challenge you to produce any objection to some definite point in his argument, and you have nothing to say, try to make the argument less specific.
Example: If you are asked why a particular hypothesis cannot be accepted, you may speak of the fallibility of human knowledge, and give various illustrations of it.

20 If your opponent has admitted to all or most of your premises, do not ask him or her directly to accept your conclusion.
Rather, draw the conclusion yourself as if it too had been admitted.

21 When your opponent uses an argument that is superficial and you see the falsehood, you can refute it by setting forth its superficial character.
But it is better to meet the opponent with a counter-argument that is just as superficial, and so dispose of him. For it is with victory that you are concerned, not with truth. Example: If the opponent appeals to prejudice, emotion or attacks you personally, return the attack in the same manner.

22 If your opponent asks you to admit something from which the point in dispute will immediately follow, you must refuse to do so, declaring that it begs the question.

23 Contradiction and contention irritate a person into exaggerating their statements.
By contradicting your opponent you may drive him into extending the statement beyond its natural limit. When you then contradict the exaggerated form of it, you look as though you had refuted the original statement. Contrarily, if your opponent tries to extend your own statement further than your intended, redefine your statement’s limits and say, “That is what I said, no more.”

24 State a false syllogism.
Your opponent makes a proposition, and by false inference and distortion of his ideas you force from the proposition other propositions that are not intended and that appear absurd. It then appears that opponent’s proposition gave rise to these inconsistencies, and so appears to be indirectly refuted.

25 If your opponent is making a generalization, find an instance to the contrary.
Only one valid contradiction is needed to overthrow the opponent’s proposition. Example: “All ruminants are horned,” is a generalization that may be upset by the single instance of the camel.

26 A brilliant move is to turn the tables and use your opponent’s arguments against himself.
Example: Your opponent declares: “so and so is a child, you must make an allowance for him.” You retort, “Just because he is a child, I must correct him; otherwise he will persist in his bad habits.”

27 Should your opponent surprise you by becoming particularly angry at an argument, you must urge it with all the more zeal.
No only will this make your opponent angry, but it will appear that you have put your finger on the weak side of his case, and your opponent is more open to attack on this point than you expected.

28 When the audience consists of individuals (or a person) who is not an expert on a subject, you make an invalid objection to your opponent who seems to be defeated in the eyes of the audience.
This strategy is particularly effective if your objection makes your opponent look ridiculous or if the audience laughs. If your opponent must make a long, winded and complicated explanation to correct you, the audience will not be disposed to listen to him.

29 If you find that you are being beaten, you can create a diversion–that is, you can suddenly begin to talk of something else, as though it had a bearing on the matter in dispute.
This may be done without presumption if the diversion has some general bearing on the matter.

30 Make an appeal to authority rather than reason.
If your opponent respects an authority or an expert, quote that authority to further your case. If needed, quote what the authority said in some other sense or circumstance. Authorities that your opponent fails to understand are those which he generally admires the most. You may also, should it be necessary, not only twist your authorities, but actually falsify them, or quote something that you have entirely invented yourself.

31 If you know that you have no reply to the arguments that your opponent advances, you by a fine stroke of irony declare yourself to be an incompetent judge.
Example: “What you say passes my poor powers of comprehension; it may well be all very true, but I can’t understand it, and I refrain from any expression of opinion on it.” In this way you insinuate to the audience, with whom you are in good repute, that what your opponent says is nonsense. This technique may be used only when you are quite sure that the audience thinks much better of you than your opponent.

32 A quick way of getting rid of an opponent’s assertion, or of throwing suspicion on it, is by putting it into some odious category.
Example: You can say, “That is fascism” or “Atheism” or “Superstition.” In making an objection of this kind you take for granted
1)That the assertion or question is identical with, or at least contained in, the category cited; and
2)The system referred to has been entirely refuted by the current audience.

33 You admit your opponent’s premises but deny the conclusion.
Example: “That’s all very well in theory, but it won’t work in practice.”

34 When you state a question or an argument, and your opponent gives you no direct answer, or evades it with a counter question, or tries to change the subject, it is sure sign you have touched a weak spot, sometimes without intending to do so.
You have, as it were, reduced your opponent to silence. You must, therefore, urge the point all the more, and not let your opponent evade it, even when you do not know where the weakness that you have hit upon really lies.

35 Instead of working on an opponent’s intellect or the rigor of his arguments, work on his motive.
If you success in making your opponent’s opinion, should it prove true, seem distinctly prejudicial to his own interest, he will drop it immediately. Example: A clergyman is defending some philosophical dogma. You show him that his proposition contradicts a fundamental doctrine of his church. He will abandon the argument.

36 You may also puzzle and bewilder your opponent by mere bombast.
If your opponent is weak or does not wish to appear as if he has no idea what your are talking about, you can easily impose upon him some argument that sounds very deep or learned, or that sounds indisputable.

37 Should your opponent be in the right but, luckily for you, choose a faulty proof, you can easily refute it and then claim that you have refuted the whole position.
This is the way in which bad advocates lose good cases. If no accurate proof occurs to your opponent, you have won the day.

38 Become personal, insulting and rude as soon as you perceive that your opponent has the upper hand.
In becoming personal you leave the subject altogether, and turn your attack on the person by remarks of an offensive and spiteful character. This is a very popular technique, because it takes so little skill to put it into effect.

Know thyself…

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If you can’t post your real, non-bot, heart-felt remarks, let me know by sending an e-mail to the address in my “about me” page. Death, taxes, and spam. The 3 things we can’t seem to avoid…

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But all of that hard work and hanging around those young, starry-eyed vegetarian environmentalists has taken its toll. Today, I learned Al is divorcing his wife of 40 years, Tipper. I understand that when the divorce is final, Al gets to claim Tipper as a carbon credit.

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Right now, the military is experiment with tiny generators strapped to the knees and elbows of its marching troops. So far, our brave boys and girls of the Armed Forces are able to create enough electricity to run radios, GPS devices and even iPods. I guess when they go into battle, yelling “CHARGE!” takes on a entirely new meaning.

Research is good so far. But I’m thinking that these ambitious scientists and engineers haven’t tapped into a resource of potentially unlimited power. That’s right, old people! Now hear me out. One of the fastest growing segments in the world’s population is … that’s right, old people. And the Chinese. A few more decades and we’ll be up to our knees in old Chinese people but I digress.

This year, I crossed the half century mark of age. Of course, this little achievement doesn’t make me old. I mean, I can still suck in my gut without my ankles swelling. Still, I have noticed brief moments of involuntary tremors in my hands and head. Apparently, this is a common occurrence as we age. Unfortunately for some, it turns into Parkinson and other uncontrollable shaking diseases. But not to worry! This just means that the elder will now be kept at home as a beloved asset to the family. With an energy harvesting device attached to my trembling form, I can hear my family saying “Ok, plug grandpa into the outlet and turn on the TV.” Think about it. Instead of huge medical bills, Parkinson patients will be able to power the hospital that is treating them AND charge the hospital for the electrical power! As an aging majority of movers-and-shakers on the planet, we’ll be able to provide electricity for any one, any where … except during earthquakes when we’ll find ourselves inconveniently still. Anyway, great idea, right! In fact, I am going to start my electrical co-op right now with a few of my vibrating friends and make a killing. Oh, sorry, bad choice of words …

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And so, what did those dastardly denizens of the Bay State do with such a brave stately mandate? In 2009, several paid the $400 premium, endured great medical care while running up monthly bills of $2000, then, when in the best of health, they quit their policy to suffer those monstrous monthly fines of almost but not quite $100. For some reason, Massachusetts is now having financial difficulties.

I can’t wait until the federal version to kick in. Then we can all forced each other to pay for all expensive medical care that a formerly free country can provide!

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This raises a lot of questions about the organization he worked for. Why did they pick that particular guy? Was he that whiner that every company seems to have who complains so much he gets out of all the work? “I have given all the blood, sweat and tears that I can to this group. What do I have to do to give more?”

How did they approach the bricklayer? “Say, Bob, how would you like a promotion and be, ummm, head … of a major project? Once you begin, we believe you will be fired about it!”

Anyway, the Bangladeshi police are looking for the boss and a fortune teller. It was the fortune teller who convinced the boss that a human sacrifice would improve the color of the bricks. What are the odds that she was married to the unfortunate bricklayer? Or maybe she was prophetic when she told this sad builder of bricks that “one day your work will kiln you as you make an ash of yourself.”

Thank goodness, I don’t work there!

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Sadly, this important benefit doesn’t work for men. Maybe it’s because guys are already grounded. Or maybe it’s due to the old adage “No brain, no gain.” Or maybe it’s because we’re already like coffee — rich, warm and we’ll keep you ladies up all night … if we remember.

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So, tock to me. Do you still want bureaucrats to put their hands all over your clock or does this post tick you off? In the end, it’s all numbers game — not what saves us the most money but which option get them the most votes.

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On the other hand, more and more of my assignments are about dieting, skin care or weight pills. After a couple of years of getting essentially the same topics, it has become increasingly frustrating to create entertaining entries of the same mundane phrases.

Last week, I received a phrase that was almost impossible to write with. “Almost impossible” he said with a sly wink. After thinking I had reached my limits, here’s what I finally wrote. What do you think?

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Yep, I don’t feel any older than I did 10 or 20 years ago. Well, most of the time. The only difference was in the birthday party I just had. Ever played “Sag, you’re it” with a bunch of 40 and 50 year olds? ::: shudder :::

It wasn’t that bad. The weather was sunny and windy. This helped out a lot when a gusty breeze liberated a few toupees … off of the men too. Yes sir, there’s nothing like a rousing game of “Pin the wig on the bald guy”. We were going to play “Pin the tail on the donkey” but none of the politicians RSVP’ed my invitation.

Did we quit after this? Heck no! After a few (well, several) beers, we played that fun-filled adventure game, “Hide and go pee.” Some of us had a great time with this and others … not so much. Did it make a difference? “Depends”

One of the joys of aging is enjoying the rewards from years of hard work and trying to take care of everyone. This is otherwise known as high blood pressure. The cure is medicine that fixes your heart by generating a loud ringing in your ears. As a result, you tend to miss out on things such as “I love you” and “Watch out! You’re about to step in front of a bus!” But it does make for a great game of “Simon says … what?! What did he say?!”

All good times must end so we concluded my day of festivities by storming the Lazy-Boy store to play “Musical Recliners.” This game is only good for one round because everyone gets a chair. And we didn’t leave until we were good and ready. When the store manager brought the police in, we suddenly found ourselves good and ready.

We were going to play “Kick the Bucket” but thought we’d wait a few more years. Just as with “Red Rover, Red Rover, Doctor says Bend Over”, no activity should be more of a goal than a game. Now “Keep Away … from The Bucket” would be a great game. Everyone wins, mostly.

Hope to see you next year!

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So the company missed their fantasy income by almost half a million dollars. Judging by the hastily arranged meetings, our fearless leaders didn’t realize the mistake until last Thursday. Then, panic ensued among the powers-that-be. To make up the $500,000, they quickly decided that we should cut our pay and hours to give them almost $50,000 in savings. OOOOOOOooooooo! That’ll satisfy those mean ol’ bankers.

Of course, the exercise did provide us some valuable lessons about our employer. When management announced who would have their hours cut and by what amount, it was obvious that company leaders have not a clue about who is critical to the operation of their business. When they told us that we would have to work harder, we realized that they don’t know or care about the tremendous effort of unpaid overtime, the multiple jobs that each of us have had to take on and numerous sacrifices we’ve already made to help keep the business going.

If anyone had doubts about leaving, this is no longer the case. I believe I am watching the end-of-days drama of a company as it is run by bean counters and sales instead of by principled business leaders. The countdown begins….

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When you look back through history, it’s amazing how seemingly intelligent people will blindly and fanatically accept half-truths and outright falsehoods as gospel. Of course, it helps if you’re in power and you need something scary to keep those ignorant peons in check. When someone doubts your story, that’s usually the last thing they’ll ever do … aside from setting an example for the rest of the unwashed masses. And it never hurts to throw a little money around to have ‘reputable’ people back your erroneous tales with a few fun ‘facts’ of their own.

Today, we don’t have such crafty kings and devious popes to mislead us. We have the likes of Foxy Loxy Gore who has garnered a flock of Chicken Littles. (Funny how none of them question Foxy Gore’s hypocritical life style — gas guzzle vehicles and homes with a carbon footprint larger than a family of Bigfoots.) But if you can scare or belittle or find enough low self-esteemed people who hate human kind, you too can win a Nobel Peace prize. Not only that but your followers will form groups and participate in Blog Action Day where prime ministers and religious leaders take time to regale all of us with the monsters of global warming.

Yes, human-caused global warming must be true because thousand of scientists say that it is so. Just because these studied fellows are paid by governments who need a good reason to tax and control their citizens, this doesn’t discredit the researchers’ work. Besides, any one who disputes their findings is an idiot. Apparently, the thousands of other high ranking scientists (some who have won real Nobel prizes) must be drooling baboons because they’ve discounted human causes and proved other, more vital causes of global warming. Amazingly, this latter group wasn’t paid to prove anything. These deniers-to-the-cause followed that silly practice of only looking for the facts.

And the fact is that the globe is warming up. Just because unseasonable cold weather has occurred repeatedly around the planet most of this decade, that doesn’t mean global warming isn’t happening. The cause is just waiting to catch us off guard. Thus, we must band together to defeat a sneaky evil monstrosity that threatens to cook our planet in its own juice. That’s right! I mean the sun! It is bad enough when the sun blazes down on us in summer, erasing the polar caps, evaporating the snows of winter, and melting the ice cubes in our drinks. Now, thanks to verified reports that our malicious solar companion is heating up, our ice cubes will soon be melting in spring and fall too. This must be stopped! I know I can count the support of my fellows compatriots who make candles, manufacture light bulbs and produce electricity. They will readily agree that we need less sun and more cool darkness. I’m also pretty sure we can count on our Vampire brethren, sorry, our hemoglobin-challenge friends for their efforts to protect us from the sun. There may be a rumble between them and politicians as to who is the best parasite on human kind but that beats having the planet become a charred briquet. Yes?

Now some of you may be a little offended by this post. I apologize. You can do something immediately to reduce the human causes of global warming. Please take the hand of your fellow lemming and run, don’t walk, into the awaiting sea, breath deep the healing waters of our mother ocean, and sleep eternal knowing that your hot air won’t be harming the planet again.

You would think that the point of Blog-Action-Day is to draw attention and hopefully generate action on real problems in the world – human atrocities in Africa, needless poverty caused by greedy and ineffective governments — you know, actual human suffering that can be helped immediately. Instead blogactionday.org wasted a lot of people’s time and energy to focus on a problem that may or may not be a problem. Thanks, guys! Can’t wait for next year. I’ll bring the sun tan lotion … and an extra sweater … just in case.

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Overall, Life is very good!

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Actually it wasn’t that bad. When my girlfriend and her daughter came for a visit a few weeks ago, they saw my pile of cutup wire hangers, some screws and washers, and an old wooden board. Then they smiled at me with that knowing smile and the expression of “Well, he is special. Now, let’s go find his helmet before anything else happens.”  But then I hooked my contraption to my television.  When I turned on my TV and they saw the crystal clear reception … well, who’s laughing now?!

Actually, I build this because television broadcasters will be forced to switch from over-the-air analog television signals to a digital version.  Rabbit-ear antenna just ain’t goin’ get those TV signal like it used to.

If you want to find out which stations you can receive over-the-air now, check out: tvfool.com

NOTE: this post was started on March 17th and finally published on September 5th. sheesh!

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Anyway, no one knows where the dental digits came from but I have my theory. The teeth belong to a robber. It’s obvious when you realize how hard Wal-Mart works to take the bite out of crime. This may explain why my local Wal-Mart has instituted random .. um, cavity .. searches of shoppers. Sure, it’s annoying. But since it’s free, who can really complain about a free check-up with every check-out?

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