What's going on in there?

The 28 Day Challenge

2012-11-06T21:36:00.000+00:00

Oh! Hello there! How've you been? It's been a ridiculous amount of time since I've blogged about anything, even though I think about it fairly often. I've been wanting to do this one for a while now, so here goes!

I think I first heard this advert on Capital FM. It's the ad about stopping smoking for 28 days, and how you were more likely to quit for good if you were able to stop for 28 days. This got me thinking...does this work the other way? If you picked up a good habit and continued it for 28 days, are you more likely to keep it up?

I've decided to give it a go. I'm going to try to be more active for the next 28 days. But, I'm not going to promise to go to the gym every day (a- I can't afford it, and b- we all know that by this time next week, I would have probably given up!). To be honest, I'm not even going to specify what I need to do, just as long as I'm being more active than I have been recently. So that could mean taking my dog out for walks, or maybe going for a run in the evenings. Anything really. Oh, and this definitely includes nights outs; dancing in heels for the night? Definitely counts as being active.

It doesn't have to be a massive change, it has to be something that you can incorporate into your life without too much trouble, because then the chances are that you will keep at it :) So for the next 28 days, this is the challenge I'm setting myself, and maybe to blog more often. Does anyone want to do this 28 day challenge with me? Let me know what habit you're trying to pick up :)

Bye for now xx

Look who I met :)

2012-08-11T17:19:00.001+01:00

There's someone here that wants to say something to you people....

See, isn't that so much nicer than me saying hi?!
So, yeh, as you can see, I met Joey Graceffa and a whole load of other Youtubers :) Joey Graceffa, Luke Conard and Ingrid (Miss Glamorazzi) came over to London from the States so they did a little (ok, not very little at all, there were atleast a couple hundred people!) meet up with some of their fans. They were joined by Jim Chapman, Tanya Burr and Fleur De Force (they're all youtubers too!)
I have to confess that I watch so many youtubers that it takes up a good chunk of my day to watch all their vlogs and videos. So when I heard that some of my absolute favourite vloggers were doing a meet up in London, I just had to go!
I was a bit worried though, I thought I might be the oldest person there at 20, but I need not have worried. First of all, there were so many people that I kind of just blended into the crowd, but also the fact that there were some parents there (ok, fine, they were accompanying their young children to the meet up, but they were still there, ok?) I was really anxious about going on my own though, so I asked my cousin to go with me, and she said yes! But on the day, my brother decided he'd rather encourage her to go to the cinema with him instead :( I didn't let that put me off though, I got on the tube and was making my way over to Soho Square, when I heard an almighty cheer! Holy crap, I had not expected that many people to be there. I know that they have a combined total of over a million subscribers but I didn't expect so many people to show up in London at such short notice! It was incredible!
I obviously wanted to see Joey G, because as you can see, he's a beautiful man and I think I love him, just a little bit. You know, in that "it's never going to happen, but you love them anyway" kind of way! And from the looks of things, I wasn't the only one that felt that way! There was a huge crowd around him, and I had to queue up to see him. I didn't mind though, he was really sweet with all of his fans and it was funny to watch everything that was happening :) Loads of people were getting him to sign copies of the Hunger Games or the Uglies series (Both amazing book series- go and read it now) but I don't buy books anymore because I have my beloved kindle :) So I had an idea, when it was my turn to talk to him, I asked him if he could sign my Kindle cover instead. That way, it's kind of like he signed all my books, right? yes, that's definitely what it is :p By the way, the reason why people were getting him to sign the Hunger Games books is because Joey G is Finnick...or should've been! He's Finnick in my mind :)

Yes, it says Amy, he couldn't hear me over all the people,
I don't mind though :)

Oh, and I got a picture with him :)

(I really wanted those pictures to be side by side, but I just couldn't work out how, so you can have a bigger picture of Joey and I- You're welcome)
And then I went and took pictures with all of the other youtubers! They were all so nice. Jim is so lovely in person, and he makes the English accent sound way better than usual :p Luke was super sweet too, he was making conversation with all the people there, and he asked me where I was from. Ok, is it just me, or do people get confused by this question. Because to me, that question could have 3 different answers: SriLanka, Norway and London.. So I never know what to say to that....so I said all three! Luke may have been a little confused, but he still signed by Kindle case. Luke, Joey and Meghan have a little band called The Tributes, and they have original songs based on the books. I think it's pretty damn cool, and therefore I thought Luke should also sign, as he's kind of book related too!
Whilst at this meet up, I met two lovely people. They'd come on their own as well, so we stuck together after we first met. I met a gorgeous girl called Chawi, who wanted to borrow my pen, and then we bonded over our love for the youtubers. She's taking some exams to get into medical school in Switzerland, so Chawi, good luck to you! I hope it all goes well. The other person I met was a guy called Felipe, he was really nice, and he took my pictures for me! Thank you! He has a youtube channel - go check it out :)
I loved this meet up, it made me soooo happy to meet some of the people that I watch pretty much every day. It was a bit creepy because I felt like I knew quite a lot about them, but they obviously don't know anything about me, I felt a bit like a stalker :/ I know that some people think that I'm a loser for getting so excited about this. But I disagree. Just because it's not an interest that you share with me, it doesn't make it any less exciting for me. So I'm proud of my little trip to go and see some of these youtubers :)
Here's a little collage of me with all of them :)

Clockwise from top left: Luke Conard, Ingrid, Fleur De Force, Tanya Burr and Jim Chapman :)

So yeh, that was a fun day :) Also, just to make you all jealous, I got to hug Joey :) and Luke and Jim :) I think Joey may have been a little bit wary of the number of times I went up to him, but he was lovely each time :)
That's it for now..I still haven't finished a blog that I started a couple of weeks ago, its about the olympics and stuff, so I shall try and finish that tomorrow or something, so that I'm up to date. Also, I just miss writing. I don't know how many people actually read everything I write, but I like knowing that I'm writing something, however random it may be :)
So bye for now xx

PS: I have an extended version of the clip that I put at the beginning. I have a friend who loves Joey too, so I thought it would be nice to get her a shoutout from him. I'll add that here, because it's just fun to watch him talk :)

Happy Anniversary to us :)

2012-07-04T21:32:00.002+01:00

Hey everyone! Hope everyone's been having a good day, and to all those in America, I'd like to wish you a happy 4th of July.
I've been celebrating today too, but for a different reason...It's my 4th anniversary today of being with my wonderful boyfriend :)It really doesn't feel like it's been 4 years!! If our relationship was a child, the child would be going to school in a year! That's a weird way to think about it...But 4 years is a pretty long time, isn't it? Whenever I tell anyone that I've been with him for 4 years, the typical response is "Oh, so you're pretty much married then!" I never know what to say to that one :/
What I love the most about my relationship is that he's not just my boyfriend, he's also my best friend (Note to boyfriend: you're not my only best friend, so don't even think about bragging to the other one that you are now my best friend. Child!) When I'm with him, I don't have to use the filter in my head, I just say whatever I'm thinking, regardless of how stupid it may be, which is normally very stupid. We also have some of the most random, and frankly quite pointless, conversations, but I love them! We also act like complete and utter retards around each other, well I'm like that all the time, around everyone, but for those of you that don't know him, most people think he's really quiet and sensible. Boy are you wrong! He's as bad as I am. If not worse. For example, last night, we were pretending that our left arms didn't work and that we had to use our right hand to control the arm...What? Why? No reason, but it was hilarious, and I loved it. It's random mental moments like that which just me giggle when I think about him!
So to celebrate our anniversary, we decided to bake a cake today. I love baking cakes with him. I make pretty good cakes, and he makes the best icing, so we're a good team I'd say :) The other day, my cousin brought me some red velvet cake, so I thought it'd be nice to try to make that. Here's a picture of our attempt:

Yummmmmmmmmmmm

I used this recipe, if anyone wants to have a go: http://allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/7053/red-velvet-cake.aspx.
Although, if I were to make the cake again, which I probably will, I wouldn't use their icing recipe, I'd just make a normal buttercream icing, as I feel that would've tasted better!
Also, while I'm here recommending websites, for people interested in nail art, check out www.nailable.blogspot.co.uk This is my best friend Jeni's blog, and she does some amazing nail art :)
So yeh, that's pretty much it for this post. I just wanted to share with the world (or you guys anyway) about our nearly-at-school-age relationship!
Bye for now xx

Arggghhh!!!

2012-07-01T00:58:00.001+01:00

So I'm majorly angry, upset and just plain frustrated right now. This is going to be ranty and personal, so bear with me people.
I will admit one thing. I'm not your average skinny girl, I'm not even an average girl. I'm large. There I've said it. So anyone that wants to make fat jokes and laugh at me. Go ahead. I've probably heard it all before anyway.
I've had problems with my weight for a very long time now and only recently have I been diagnosed with a condition that actually makes it difficult for me to lose weight, which sucks majorly. It's a pretty common condition in women and it comes with a whole host of nasty problems, including weight gain and the difficulty in losing it. Brill. But worse than this is the fact that I may not be able to have kids. So from my point of view, not being able to have kids greatly outweighs the whole "oh gosh, I'm a little overweight" problem. Even so, I do want to lose weight and I have tried pretty much everything under the sun.
I lost a considerable amount of weight about 5 years ago. To achieve this, it took me not eating very much at all and a very abusive ex who told me to keep not eating. This made me very ill and I wasn't happy and I was just generally in a very bad place in my life.
So what happened when I lost loads of weight? Was everyone happy for me? Did they leave me alone? Fuck no. I was apparently too skinny then. And apparently I looked gaunt and I looked better when I was fatter. Fucking brilliant. Everyone went mental about what I ate (or didn't) and about how much I exercised (a lot). I didn't realise how bad it was until I was taking to my best friend recently and she told me how she used to have to cry to get me to eat. I didn't remember that until she mentioned it- I guess I must've just blocked it out.
But anyway, I'm not thin anymore. Not remotely. But I was happy. Not anymore. It probably boils down to the fact that I got rid of the controlling psycho, met my lovely, loving boyfriend and just stopped being so obsessed with what I eat. I admit though, I've probably relaxed a little too much because as soon as I started eating, I put on all the weight and then some. But because I was in a better place in my life, it didn't bother me as much as it used to. So why am I so upset today?
I don't know. I don't know why I let it get to me so much today. Basically it's my cousin's birthday tomorrow and they're all wearing saris. So they asked me to as well. I don't particularly like looking like a freshie, but if everyone else is, then it'll be fun. Right? So I told my mum this. And bloody hell. She launches into a massive lecture on how I shouldn't wear a sari because I'm too fat and ugly. About how I shouldn't listen to my cousins because they can say anything because they'll look pretty in a sari, but I'll look ugly so why would I do that. She said a lot more, but I can't recall it all without crying again. I do love my mum, but boy can she be harsh! I don't think I've been this upset in a very long time. All the optimism I talked about in the last post has deserted me tonight :( I sent a text to my cousin about how I'm feeling and some of the things I said scares me. I feel like I'm slipping back down into the dark place. And I don't want to. Not again. I'm hoping that writing down my feelings will help and maybe let other people know they're not alone if they're dealing with something similar.
I'm sick and fucking tired of people telling me I have to look a certain way. Especially Tamils. Go get a bloody life. I'm not your fucking concern. Don't worry, you're not going to have to find me a husband, I've done that myself. And seeing as that what most of them are worried about, I've solved that. So fuck off. If my boyfriend can look at me, and not throw up in my face, then I'm doing well.

If anyone feels as crap as I do right now, feel free to talk to me. Apparently I'm a good listener xx

So what would you toast to?

2012-06-19T20:27:00.001+01:00

Yesterday, I was out with some friends from high school, and I don't quite remember how this came about (woops!) but someone asked us what we were grateful for, and what we'd toast to at that moment... I was stumped, I didn't know what to say... It's not that there wasn't anything that I was grateful for, I just couldn't pick, especially without sounding clichéd and corny.
Jeni, my best friend, said "friendship". She promptly followed that up with "cliché, I know". She's right. Both about being grateful for it as well as about it being a cliché. But I think friendship (and family) is one of the things I'm most grateful for. Without my friends and family (boyfriend counts as both family and friend), I don't think I'd be the person I am today. They're the ones that laugh at my jokes (or maybe at me...I never know), support me when I'm down, allow me to be there for them, and just generally make me feel like I belong. These are the people that I bounce ideas off of, the people I go to to have a laugh with, but these are also the people that I have little arguments with. But hey, if you can't express your views with those you love, who are you going to go to? I love how most of the people in my close circle are absolutely bonkers, but I wouldn't have them any other way! I am so grateful for their craziness, maybe because it makes me seem like I'm normal when I'm with them!
I know that I've complained and ranted about family before, but I am grateful for them. Well I may not like you as a person, but I am still grateful for what you've taught me, be it just to never turn out like a certain someone. When I was in my early teens, I had such issues with my parents, I thought they were against everything I did. But now I realise that I was an idiot (Yes..was, I'm all grown up and mature now!) Agreed, my parents, like most Sri Lankan parents, are stuck in their ways, and don't, and probably won't, see eye-to-eye on most issues. But I realise now that, in their own way, they do the things they do because they want the best for us. They push us to work 24/7 because they want us to have a better life than they did. They don't give us the same freedom that our non-brown friends may have because they're worried that we'll go off the rails and ruin our lives (Ok, that was a pretty big leap, and I'm not one to say you shouldn't do things, because I've probably done it myself...unless it's bad, then I haven't!) I think the way to get around this is to be the model child when you're at home. I wouldn't even say that I'm lying to myself and faking it; everyone has different sides to them, and being a good tamil daughter is just one of them! Getting back on track, I'm grateful for such lovely, kind parents, who I hope to learn a lot from, especially their patience and resilience.
I guess another thing I'm pretty grateful for is my optimism. For the most part, I'm a pretty optimistic, glass half full kinda person, and I love it. It makes everything seem a lot better, and you feel like you can get through anything. Mind you, I wasn't always like this, I've had phases where everything's been miserable and doomed. That was not a fun time. Negative thoughts are like maggots just writhing around and multiplying and just making everything icky and gross! But you have to learn to get out of it; find something that makes you happy and do it as often as you can. And I can guarantee that this will lift your spirits in no time! (If however, you think you may be suffering from clinical depression, see someone, don't be ashamed of it. I know some people can be dismissive of depression as an illness, but don't be one of them!) Positivity definitely leads to positive actions and consequences :D
Oh, and obviously I'm grateful for the internet. It provides me with hours of entertainment, allows me to stalk people without them knowing, and sometimes provides pretty good essay material in the dark hours before a deadline. So I am very thankful for that!

So there we go. A long rambling post prompted by a very simple question. What are you guys grateful for? I'd love to know :)

PS: Obviously also very grateful for Jazz. She's just hilariously crazy and reminds me of me...is that weird?

Bye for now xx

Let's have a Party! Wait..what?!?

2012-06-05T00:05:00.002+01:00

Hello again to all you lovely people :)
So....some of you might find this awkward to read. "Oh, why would it be awkward?" you may ask. Well, because I'm going to be talking about the infamous "Puberty Ceremony" (Saamathiya veedu/Poopunitha Neeratu Vizha, or some other long-ass tamil name for it!)
So those of you that aren't Tamil or familiar with this concept, it's basically when you have a party to celebrate a girl getting her first period...it makes me cringe just writing that! WHY!?! Who thought this would be a good idea?!
From what I understand, back in the olden days, this was done as a way of saying "Hey, my daughter's healthy and fertile, and she's ready to be married." Correct me if I'm wrong, but living in London in this day and age, I feel that this is unnecessary, and dare I say, a bit inappropriate, especially considering the fact that most girls are like 13 when they start nowadays!
I don't even know where to begin...
There are different scales that you can do these ceremonies: there are the simple ones where it's just at your house, or there are the over the top ones with like 300 people, where you hire out a venue, just for the occasion. (Yup 300 people, sometimes there are more tamil people celebrating a girl's first period, than the total amount of guests at a non-tamil wedding). It's become customary to give the guests a little present, kind of like a party favour, to say thanks for coming. Which I think is pretty sweet. But some of the people with the OTT ceremonies, feel like they have to compete with these gifts, I've heard stories of golden traditional lamps (kutthuvizhaku for all you tamils) being given out to each and every guest. Do you seriously have that much cash to blow...if so, just let me know, and I'll happily hand over my bank details to you.

So, what does the poor girl herself have to endure on this day? Well, she gets dressed in a saree, usually for the first time in her life. The perfect time really to be walking around in a saree and tripping to fall on your face; in front of a few hundred people. Oh and the moment will be caught on camera, because we record every single second of this shit. Oh just a question by the way, does anyone know why the camera man feels the need to record you eating? It's not like he's fucking filming a documentary to show the future generations a "how to eat" video, I really don't see the need for this. There's a picture in my puberty ceremony album (yey!) (not) where I'm eating, and I'm just glaring at whoever was behind the camera...If I wanted to publicly humiliate myself, I'd put that picture here, but I'm not that brave, so I'm going to put up a tamil meme I found on facebook instead:

Before someone comes at me with a wooden spoon, I don't own this picture, the amazing people at tamil memes on facebook do. Go check them out, they have me laughing for hours with all the randomness that comes with being a tamil.

So leading on nicely from the above meme, we're made to ridiculous poses such as the above, but also others including sitting on the floor with the saree fanned out around us in a circle, and if you're unfortunate enough to go to India and have a ceremony there, the infamous peeking out from behind a tree. Coz that's fucking normal. I don't know why our families spend so much money on these photos and videos, because I personally ensure that these pictures never see the light of day. They are embarrassing, and thank god I had mine back in the days when DVDs were too expensive to burn onto, so I had 2 Video tapes and one burnt onto DVD I think, so seeing as no one really owns a VCR anymore, I'm hoping someone's lost the remaining DVD and I'm safe from ever having to see it again. I can only hope.

What else? Oh yeh, people congratulate you for getting your first period. Like you worked hard for it, and you should be proud of it. What the heck? You're pissed off and want these people to leave and they're like "well done"...thanks?! It's not even just close family, I had a family friend from Norway call, and they're like "gratulerer" (congratulations)..I don't feel like being congratulated right now..I want to go to bed and stay there until all these people leave, but no, I have to deal with all these randomers telling me how happy they are and here you are fucking congratulating me. Trust me, if you went up to a white girl you didn't know very well and said "congratulations, I'm so glad you started your period", you'd be locked up...either in an asylum or prison.

And this isn't the only thing you have to put up with. There's the part where everyone that comes to this "party" comes into the bathroom, where you're sitting in the bath fully clothed, and they all dump some water, with rose petals and other things, on your head, one by one. They record this too. Coz I mean everyone looks super attractive fully clothed and soaking wet. Right? nope, not unless you're these guys...

*ahem* Anyway, moving on from these pictures. Nowadays, a bath just doesn't cut it, so you put a frigging paddling pool with rose petals and shit in the middle of the living room instead. If on a random day, I decided I wanted to put a paddling pool in the middle of the house, and sat in it for hours, my mum would go ballistic! But when there's dozens (or hundreds- depending on which scale you're doing this) of people around the house with cameras, that's perfectly acceptable.

There's just so much wrong with these puberty ceremonies that I'm certain I've missed out some things. If any of you can think of anything, comment below, or drop me an email, I'd love to hear from you guys. Also, I recently got twitter, so follow me @amisiva. I'm still getting the hang of it, but I'm slowly but surely becoming addicted to it!

Well before I go, seeing as this was quite a "tamil" post, I'd like to suggest 3 tamil related twitterers (I was going to say twits, but I don't see how anyone would want to be described as a twit :/) you should follow: @tamilmemes, @101_TamilDating and @PeoplesTamil. I like reading their tweets, and if you enjoyed this post, I hope you enjoy them too :) (See..I'm a bit like the bit on twitter that suggests people to follow based on who you already follow....no? wow I need to go to sleep)

So before I say anything else that doesn't make sense, I'm off. Hope you all have a wonderful, puberty ceremony free day.

Bye xx

Exams are over tomorrow....Oh wait.....

2012-05-16T15:09:00.000+01:00

Do you remember how in my last post, I was saying how I had exams in less than a week and that I was looking forward to them being over in 3 weeks? Well it's been nearly 3 weeks since that post, and I haven't done a single exam. How comes, you may be thinking? Did she just bunk and not go to them?
Nope. My appendix decided it was the right time to become inflamed and be on the verge of exploding. And so they had to remove my appendix 3 days before my first exam. Not the best timing in the world. To make things worse, the pain killers they gave me were so strong, that I was awake for like 4 hours a day, long enough to eat a meal, take the medication (it was tramadol for those of you wondering) and then sleep til the next meal time. Not exactly in the right frame of mind to be doing any work at all, especially since I could barely sit upright without being in pain :( I don't know if I have a ridiculously low pain threshold (I don't think so!) or if it's just taking ages to heal, but it's been exactly 2 weeks since I've been out of hospital, and I still feel pretty rough.
I went to the GP last week and they gave me another painkiller, that doesn't really help with the pain and still makes me drowsy, so I don't see the point in taking them.
I'm so fed up that I haven't done my exams. I know that there are soo many people that say "but you're so lucky, you have longer to revise". No, because now I have to spend the whole summer waiting for the exams, whereas you can just have fun. And that's if the university lets me retake them in the summer, uncapped. I'm still waiting to hear back from them, and I'm pretty nervous, even though considering the fact that I was in hospital for 4 days before the first exam and had to have surgery, I feel like I definitely qualify for mitigating circumstances. I mean, in the letter it says they'll normally accept medical problems that could not be foreseen and requires hospitalisation. So I should qualify right? The appendix is the most useless thing in our body and can just decide to go pop whenever it wants. It's hardly my fault. Argh, this waiting is driving me insane.
There's a Facebook group for our course and I actually read a post where someone was asking another student to run them over/beat them up so that they could qualify for mitigating circumstances. I am certain they were joking, but I'd just like to point out that it doesn't seem that easy to get them to accept the cases.
Well my last exam would've been tomorrow and I would've had a huge drink up to celebrate and gone out and had fun, but instead I'm back at my parent's house, sleeping most of the day and waiting to hear back from my university.
I'm drafting the post about the trip away. That should be up in the next few days hopefully :) I'm also planning to do a couple posts about Tamil things that are just fucking weird. Two words: puberty ceremonies. "huh, what?" you're obviously not Tamil if you've not come across this phenomenon. All shall be explained very soon!
I hope you all are having betters days than I am, and for those of you doing exams, hope it went well :)

Bye for now xx

So...I have exams in a little over a week

2012-04-24T14:26:00.000+01:00

I know I said I'd do a post on our little holiday to France, but truth is, I'm going to need a long time to write that post.. many things happened on that trip, that I just don't have the time to recount it all in the hilariousness it deserves. But I will post it, at some point :)
So back to now. I have my first exam next Thursday. And I am nowhere near ready! CRAP! I feel like I do this every single year! I leave everything to the last minute, and then panic and have many sleepless nights cramming whole textbooks.
For those of you that don't know me personally (hi!), I was on a placement last summer at the Anna Freud Centre, and therefore was out of full time education for the longest period (8months) since....well, since I was 4! Whilst I was on my placement, I quite missed the routine of school/uni and thought that when I started in January, I'd keep on top of all my work, and I'd be uber-prepared come exam season.
But lo and behold, I'm not! I didn't even attempt to keep on top of all my reading! *sigh* For those doing or considering doing a reading heavy subject like Psychology, a word of advice: listen to the lecturers and actually do the reading when its set! I have to say though, I love reading, I can devour whole books in a couple of days and start another straight after. But unfortunately psychology text books aren't exactly what you'd call light reading.
It's ok though. I'm used to this last minute rush. Yes, I'll feel like quitting. Yes, I'll be on the verge of madness. And I may even break down and cry a little. But in just over 3 weeks, it'll be over. And I just need to find the motivation to keep going until then. So hey, if any of you lovely people have any motivational advice, or just something to stop me from going insane, please leave a comment or send me a message, I'd love to hear from you :) And feel free to tell me what you think of the blog so far :)
Well that's it for now. I'm going to go back and continue revising face recognition, which is actually quite interesting. Another question, would you like me to post psychology related things too? I recently stumbled upon a blog by a fellow psychology student called Pavlovscouch. I found it very interesting and laugh out loud funny! Head over and have a look! (By the way, this person and I have never spoken to each other, I've seen him in lectures, therefore that was a completely unbiased recommendation, I only found out about the blog on the psychology revision page on fb..which I should probably get back to now!)
Bye for now xx

Pre-ferry banter

2012-04-05T20:35:00.001+01:00

So even before we've left this conversation happened.
Brother had just worked out how far Lourdes was (a ten hour drive from Calais).
Bro: mum!! Why are we going there again? It's so far away!
Uncle: whats she supposed to with a child like you?
Bro: urm, what you tryna insinuate? Have you seen your son?

This just made me laugh! Obviously the uncle and son in question was Ray and Darren. Let the fun begin!

Xx

We are going on a summer holiday....ok not quite!

2012-04-05T17:45:00.001+01:00

Hey world, it's been a while.
Mostly because I've been busy with uni stuff, I.e not going to lectures, not doing much work and idling time away watching way too many movies on Netflix! I kept meaning to but just kept putting it off.
That, however, does not mean that I have not had rants to rant about. I have. Way too many than I'd like to admit but I just haven't posted about them for some unknown reason.
Anyway, getting back to today. As I'm writing this, I'm sitting in a minibus with 14 other Tamils!! On my way to France! So I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to kickstart my blog with many Tamil related stories :)
I've just realised I probably won't be able to post the blogs when I'm actually in France but I'll save them and do a mass post when I'm back in England :)
Hope you all have a good Easter weekend xx

2012-02-02T14:04:00.001+00:00

hello people of the blogging world!
yes, I am still alive, I just haven't been upto enough to blog about :(
You'd be happy to know that I did infact finish my coursework on time. At 3am on the day it was due in.... but hey atleast its done now.
ok, i've just realised that I do have a rant that I should tell you about, but i'm typing this on a tablet and it's too fiddly to do capital letters and apostrophes, hence the reason why its a bit messed up. So i shall continue this on my laptop in a bit.
bye for now people :)
xx

Yo dudes and dudettes

2012-01-06T00:48:00.002+00:00

Yo people!
So I'm pretty drunk right now. And my good friend Mary is here too! (She's just as pissed.)
So we want to talk about fucking tamils and how annoying they are.
We were saying how all tamils should get really drunk atleast once in their lives and share their true feelings with each other. For example, remember that cousin I was telling you about, the one that should get a divorce? This is probably how the guy's conversation would go:

"You are fucking annoying. And you have the personality of a doorknob. Actually. you know what? That's being offensive to a doorknob, that has more of a personality than you do. You're fucking ugly and retarded. I don't normally judge by looks but seeing as you have nothing else to go by, I have no choice. And by the way, I am well glad we have no kids together, I wouldn't want to spread your genes even if someone paid me, you fucked up piece of shit".

Wouldn't the world be so much better if everyone was honest about how they felt? I definitely think it would be :)

And here's Mary's view on life at this precise moment in time:

"I love being drunk and not being so tamil. And I hate tamils that tell me I'm fat so that they make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin including my own family and friends. I fucking hate people with an attitude, regardless of race. Noone owes you anything in life, you have to earn it. Don't act like you have to be treated better than other people just because you're another race. That's it at the moment."

So, there you have my first drunken post. Oh just remembered something from Mary's bit: If I don't like you, it has nothing to with your race, it's about your fucked up attitude. So i'm not being racist. I'm being attitudist. (Thats not a word, but fuck it!) I'm quite impressed with my spelling when drunk :)

Bye for now xx

Arghhh!

2011-12-30T00:36:00.001+00:00

As you can probably tell from the title, I'm a bit pissed off. Actually more than a bit pissed off. And I'm mostly pissed off with myself!
As I've mentioned before, I have these essays that I need to write for uni, and I can't do them!! Before you think that I'm some retard that managed to get into uni but can't write essays, no, I do know how to write an essay, that's not the problem here
The main problem here is that I have complete freedom as to what I write about. And I'm a pretty indecisive person. so this sucks for me. I have started about 3 different essays, gotten into it, and then discarded it as I find something else I'd rather write about. ARGH!! It was bad enough when I had to pick between 3 or 4 essay titles last year, and now I have to come up with the whole damn essay question?! WHY!?!
I was aiming to get it done by the end of tomorrow, wait, I've just realised it's past midnight, so the end of today, and I highly doubt that's going to happen. And this is making me feel like shit.
I don't think I'll get anything done today. *sigh* It's depressing but fuck it. I can't be bothered. Right now. I will obviously get it done soon. Hopefully before I start uni on the 9th :(
Look at what Jazz is doing whilst I attempt to work:

aww, isn't she cute?

Just to add to my annoyance, my uncle has decided he wants to come and stay over today. That's fine with me. But why the fuck do you ask me a million questions a minute?? When am I going to lock the back door? Why isn't my brother eating? Is that water or pee on the floor (it was water, and even if it wasn't it was jazz, not me!)? Who was that on the phone? Shall I turn the lights off? Who was that on the phone- yes, again, because my mum called back again, and I had to explain everything she said!! It's my mum, I think we should be allowed to have a conversation without you having to know about it. Nosey prick!

So. Anyway. I'm going to bed. And hope that I get some inspiration for my essay. (Highly doubt it, but you can dream- pahaha, that just made me smile. Sleep, dream, get it? no, you're obviously not in the same state of mind as I am. Try attempting to write an essay for 4 hours, failing and then read it, it'll be funny).

And if you want someone funny to watch, go watch Shane Dawson on YouTube. I find him pretty damn funny.

Night all xx

Tis the season to be jolly

2011-12-23T18:57:00.001+00:00

Yes, it is Christmas (nearly- but seeing as the shops have been selling Christmas to us since my birthday, back in September, it's close enough for me to say it is Christmas!) and it's nearly the end of the year and it's all very exciting. BUT the main reason why I've been so jolly this week is because I went to see Russell Howard live on Monday. Yup, Russell Howard!! Oh, he was amazing! I don't remember the last time I laughed so much that my mouth went dry and I had an awkward coughing fit! It's been four nights since the gig, and I'm still chortling at the memory of some of his jokes! They were brilliant. I think my boyfriend's favourite was this one:

"Justin Bieber is famous for saying the word Baby more than any other man. He's like an autistic kid in a maternity ward. Baby. Baby. Baby. OOh! He's a collosal cunt!"

You can probably gather that my boyfriend isn't a big JB fan. I don't hate him (Justin Bieber, not my boyfriend...but I don't hate him either...Ok let me just get this straight, I love my boyfriend, and I don't dislike justin bieber). There were so many other jokes that I loved but I can't remember exactly how they went and I don't want to ruin it for anyone that may buy the DVD- BUY IT! It will be worth all your hard earned money!!

His brother took this picture, we are somewhere just to the left of this :(

I also have another reason. My awesome boyfriend got me a kindle for Christmas!! It is the most ingenious thing ever! I've read nearly 2 books since I got it on Tuesday! For all you book worms out there, I highly recommend it. Long gone are the days where I could only take a few books on holiday (and then be really bored on the journey back due to lack of reading material). I can now have loads of books in a tiny little thing!! Thanks Bubba for buying it for me. You are the best :)

So thanks to all the amazing people in my life, I'm pretty happy right now.

But there's always the random shithead of a fucker that messes it up for you..

So I went to see one of my mum's friends in her shop. My mum was lending her some money and I had to drive over to give it to her, so I was doing her a favour really. And I walk into the shop, and she says, no word of a lie,

"Oh, without your mum here, you seem to be getting fatter".

In her shop. In tamil. Out loud. In front of other random tamil people. THANKS! You make me feel great. What the fuck did I do for you to have to say that?! And what exactly gave you the right to make me feel like shit. Honey, you're no looker yourself! What did I do? I said:

"What the fuck?! That's a bit uncalled for, so you know what? You can't have the money, you cow! Now get your stupid mug face away from me!"

Ok, that's a bit of a lie, I just smiled at her and didn't comment. I know. I know. I'm ashamed of myself, I should have said something, but it's more effort than it's worth. Tamils are never happy. You're either too fat or too thin. And trust me, I've been on both ends of that scale. Stop judging and fuck off!

Oh, and my insurance is running out, so I'm going to have to say bye bye to my car for a while, which makes me pretty sad. (I say bye bye, but it's just going to be sitting in the drive way, I just won't be able to drive it!) I was driving around yesterday and thinking how much I'm going to miss singing out load (really badly) to the radio! Well, I might pester my parents until they re insure it, or I can get a job. But seeing as how I still haven't gotten around to doing those essays, doubt I'm going to get a job. Damn!

I've just introduced one of my awesome friends, Sara to my crazy blog, so hey Sara, hope you like it :)

Merry Christmas guys (or happy holidays as they say!). Hope you all have an awesome time, whatever you may be up to.
xx

Tamilness

2011-12-16T22:29:00.000+00:00

As I mentioned in one of the posts before this, my mum has gone to Norway for the month. What importance does this have to your rant, I hear you ask.
Well, I don't know if it's a tamil thing, or if it's just my family, but as soon as my mum goes away, we get about 3 different people fighting over who feeds us. Sounds pretty nice, huh? It is, but it gets fucking annoying when we have like 10 takeaway containers of tamil food, and then when my brother and I can't finish it, they get offended! I'm sorry, but we can't get through 6 different curries in 2 days!
When I'm at uni, you're lucky if I have a curry once a month, let alone every frigging day! On top of that, my brother has developed some kind of eating disorder (he claims that he hasn't) but he barely eats. Therefore the onus is on me to eat all that food! Argh! And then they have the nerve to say I eat too much! You bloody make me eat it all, or I have to feel guilty. Make your minds up you stupid fart faces!
I feel bad about complaining about them being generous, but we've told them we can't eat all of it, but they just won't stop! Argh!

Right. Now that the petty rant about too much food's out the way, I'd like to rant about something more important. Marriage and divorce. Particularly Tamil marriages, and divorce, or lack thereof.
I'm not even going to discuss tamil relationships here, that's just a whole other rant waiting to happen.
So most tamil parents, (the ones that I know of anyway) are still expecting their children to have an arranged marriage. Notice how I say arranged, not forced? That's because they say we have a choice, they pretend we have a choice, but at the end of the day, there is no fucking choice. Wait, sorry, I lie. The choice is "marry this boy or we'll all have to kill ourselves from the shame". See what I mean? No choice.
They come up with a whole load of bullshit as to why we should marry the "nice"/"good"/"smart" (said in a freshy accent) girl/boy that they've picked for us. For example: "we have your best interests at heart". Right let's just break that down for a second; for me, the ultimate goal in life is to be happy (yes, I'd rather be happy and not that rich, than rich and unhappy), so I'm assuming that you'd know who would make you happy, more than your parents do anyway! If you're tamil, and your relationship with your parents are anything like mine, then you'd agree that you don't tell your parents everything. For example, I like to drink. To the point where people think I'm an alcoholic :/ And I'd want whoever I married to be alright with that (maybe not the alcoholic part, that's bad). But my parents don't know I drink, so they'd find me a freshie who didn't drink, and someone who'd judge me if I did. Now that wouldn't work would it?
So hypothetically if I married this non drinking freshie, and if I was absolutely miserable, what choices would I have? Um, not a lot really. Because if you're a tamil, they think it's better that you're married and miserable than divorced and happy. I'm not joking. I have a cousin who had an arranged marriage to this girl we knew. At first, (and I'm talking the first month or so of their marriage) it all seemed ok, and they were just visiting family in India and Srilanka. But when they came back to England, the shit started to hit the fan (or their foreheads started to fucking dent the walls). Genuinely, I woke up in the middle of the night once, and thought I was in the middle of an earthquake; the not-so-happy couple were banging their heads on adjacent walls in the room next to me, (they used to live with us). The next morning, the girl's forehead looked like frigging Frankensteins. And so it went on.
They have been married for five years now (It's their anniversary today, but I feel that wishing them a happy wedding anniversary would be rubbing salt in a wound: they aren't happy, and probably don't want to be reminded that they're married), and things have not improved. I bet you're thinking, "why don't they get divorced?". In response to that, I'm gonna throw another question back at you, "What would the other tamils think?" Let me just make clear, I don't care what any other tamil thinks of me, I genuinely don't give a flying fuck about what that "Aunty" or this "Uncle" will think. They probably have more shit hidden about their own family that they're not letting on. And then they have the nerve to judge other people. But back to the point, people stay in an unhappy, loveless relationship fearing what people would think of them if they separated. I think we live in a time where people get divorced for a lot less than this, and I'm not saying marriage should be taken so lightly, but I don't think you can afford to stay married at the risk of your happiness. Get divorced, and tell the other tamils to fuck off.

That wasn't that funny but I just need to get that out there. Tamils need to realise that the times are changing and they have to change with it. Or they're just going to get left behind. And before I start getting abuse about how not all tamils are like that: I know. I know that there are some really cool tamil parents that let you go out, have boyfriends and get drunk. But the majority are still stuck in their ways, with no thought of changing, and they're the ones I'm talking about.

xx

I really should do my essay

2011-12-15T21:35:00.004+00:00

I've just realised that I've seen 3 films today!! And I'm about to start watching my 4th one!
Incase anyone's wondering what films I've been watching: Mean Girls 2 (meh, but I liked the guy, I thought he was in something else, I wiki'd him, but couldn't work it out), Horrible Bosses (Laugh out loud funny in some bits) and Darkness Falls (meh, not that scary!) and I'm about to start watching Athur (mainly because I need to get the horror movie out of my head).
I'm doing all this, but have not made any effort to start the two essays that are due in in January. Woops! I'm not going to lie and say that I'll do it tomorrow, I won't! But maybe Saturday. Or Sunday. Or Wednesday...
You guys have anything motivational? Something that will really drive me to do this essay?
Let me know, and I will be eternally grateful!
xx

Why do I do this to myself?

2011-12-15T21:10:00.002+00:00

Guess what I've been doing for the past hour or so?

You're probably quite far off the mark so let me tell you...I've been watching a horror movie... on my own...just for the hell of it. Why? Because I'm an adrenaline junkie and I like scaring the shit of myself.
I just finished watching Darkness Falls, a film that I decided to watch after reading about it on a Yahoo answers thing about the scariest horror films ever. I wouldn't particularly say it was the scariest film I've ever watched, but I know I'm going to scare myself (atleast for the next few weeks) when I'm in the dark! :/
I normally try and rope someone else into watching it with me, normally my brother, but today I thought "fuck that, I'm old enough to watch this on my own". I think I managed not to scream (like I normally do) because the film actually wasn't that scary. Also I read this tip to stop being scared somewhere- imagine the camera crew in the scene, it makes it instantly less scary. So true! Thanks to the (imaginary) camera crew, I got through the film with only minor hiding behind my scarf. I'll count that as a victory.
Yes, I will, because when I went to see Insidious with Jan, I literally screamed so much that my throat was sore at the end of the film! It was quite embarrassing because not many people (fine, not any, i.e. no one else) screamed, so I actually heard another cinema goer say "really?". I'm sorry, don't judge me, I just scare easily, ok? On another occasion, I went to see The Haunting in Connecticut, and I knocked over a whole box of popcorn. I am just that smooth!

So, there you go, you've learnt something else about me. I like scaring myself; be it horror movies, roller coasters or just imagining the worst case scenario for every situation, even when there is a perfectly rational explanation (Ok, I just have to tell you about this one time, that Gerry, my boyfriend, kept on calling me whilst I was in a lecture that he knew I was in. I texted him to find out was going on , and he just called me back. So obviously, the only explanation for this was that my crazy ex (whole other story) had tracked down Gerry, had beaten him up, and he was lying there dying (therefore couldn't text) so was just calling me to say his dying words (which was obviously that he loved me!). Turns out he just forgot I was in a lecture! Overactive imagination or what?!)

On a completely irrelevant note, here's a picture of my beautiful dog...sleeping with the phone next to her. She did this twice yesterday...My mum's away in Norway at the moment, and I'm thinking she was just missing mummy's voice!

She's as beautiful as she is dopey, but she's the perfect dog for our household, and she knows it!

Here's what you've been waiting for...

2011-12-12T17:27:00.002+00:00

Or not.. This is my first rant/ramble about my life (on this blog anyway, I go off on one of these every so often to those special people in my life- you know who you are!)

I feel like I need to introduce the main culprits who contribute to my pissed off state who appear time and time again (unfortunately) and I'm sure they are likely to feature in a few rants from now on.

First off, there's a whole family. (They're very unlikely to read this, but I'm going to change their names just for my sake, I'd hate to have to explain to my parents why I'm bitching about family!)

Let's call this male relative Ray. He's basically a big baby. I could leave it at that; that describes him pretty aptly, but I won't. I feel I need to prove why he pisses me off so much:

Everything he does is always right. Even if it's wrong. For example, we went on holiday together as a family, and we hired a car as it was a pretty small Island (It was Mallorca, incase you're wondering). So, my dad was driving, and I was sitting in the passenger side navigating using a map (An actual paper map! It was um...interesting, but we managed), and Ray sat right at the back, even though he had a fucked up knee. After a couple of short trips, the reason why he refused to drive nor map read was obvious, it was so that he could blame my dad and I when we went wrong! Imagine, a fully grown man with a family, was prepared to blame a 19 year old for taking the wrong turn. So on one of the days, we decided to drive from Alcudia, in the north to Magaluf, somewhere in the South, and we only had a map to guide us. We were fine on the way there, but missed a turning on the way back. So we asked a drunk for directions (I know, I know, not the best idea) and he mumbled something incomprehensibly. So when we get to this roundabout he goes, "it's definitely this exit", labelled Can Picafort. Seeing as I was looking at the map, I said "no I'm pretty sure it's not, it's the next one" and he was so insistent that he was right, so my dad listened to him. Lo and behold, he was wrong. So we went the way I said, and he says "Oh yeah, I meant this one". I told him he didn't, he tried to shut me up by shouting my name, I shouted his name back at him. He sulked for the rest of the journey. I don't just mean he wasn't talking to me. He wasn't talking to anyone. He blanked my dad! A 40 something year old, blanked his brother in law! What. The. Actual. Fuck? Such a petty little fucker. I feel like I should write a whole entry devoted to just our trip to Mallorca. This Mofo ruined it for us!
He feels he has to get involved in absolutely everything, and he has an opinion on everything, even if he knows fuck all about the topic. For example, my lovely boyfriend, is Indian, and not tamil. So my uncle gives me a whole lecture on how the Indians, especially the ones from Kerala, caused the civil war in Sri Lanka. DON'T FUCKING BULLSHIT ME!! I'd like to say that I know a fair bit about the war, and never in my entire life, had anyone mentioned the malayalees' role in war, until I mentioned that my boyfriend was one. A coincidence? I fucking think not! I'm not the only one to have been blessed with his oh-so-insightful lectures on being in a relationship with a non-tamil, my poor cousin had to endure it too, but I think she pretty much told him where to stick it (maybe not in so many words, but she made her feelings pretty clear). Jan's so much more braver than I am.
He whines, moans and complains about everything in life, everything apart from his perfect son, in which case, the sun shines perfectly out of his bottom.

Ray's Wife: we are going to call her Jane. (They obviously have very long srilankan names by the way). Before I start on why she annoys me, I'd just like to say that she can be really nice as long as her precious son isn't involved, but as soon as her son gets involved, shit like this starts happening:

She is so overprotective of her son. He is now in year 9, and he still gets walked to the school gates and gets picked up. Every single day. And she doesn't think it's odd when no one else does that! Another boy we know just started in year 7 at the same school, and after a couple of weeks, he managed to get himself to and from school. When we asked Jane about this, she said "But it's fine for him, he only needs to get the bus to get home", which sounds like a fair enough point, until you realise that Jane and her son only live 10 minutes away from the school. Not 10 minutes by car, not 10 minutes by bus. A ten minute walk away from the school!! Surely someone as amazing as her son must be able to walk the 10 minute without trouble, right? apparently not.
He is apparently the most intelligent boy in their year. But is he really? I doubt it. He has like 3 different tutors, they pay through their noses for them, and they say that he's naturally amazingly clever. Stop lying to yourselves!! Oh and this is what pisses me off the most. I got quite decent GCSEs (not being big headed, because many people did a lot better than I did) and he couldn't even get it into ~~a good~~ secondary school. That's right, he didn't get into ANY secondary school. So the council were forced to give him a place at the local secondary school. Mind you, I don't have a problem with what schools people go to, just don't go around saying that a shit school is better than a private school. It isn't. And it never will be! Anyway getting back to the point, both Ray and Jane think that their little fucked up biscuit is going to do better in his GCSEs than me.. umm I think not, not that it would be fair game if he did, considering the amount of out-of-school help he needs to be an average student! STOP DREAMING AND FUCK OFF! Oh and one more thing, she constantly calls me up when I'm at uni to ask me to help him with his maths or english or whatever it may be. And I have to help immediately, because apparently year 8/9 maths is so much more important than a degree. According to Ray, a degree is also much easier than year 8 maths- ponder that thought for a minute folks. Are you thinking what the fuck? yes? But can we tell them that they are wrong? Hell no! Remember that they rule the world, and you are the mere servants that have been put on the planet to bow down to their every need.
She still dresses him, washes him and takes him to the loo. Yes, you read that right, she goes to the loo with him. He's 12. WHAT?!? HOW DOES SHE HELP?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? I'm not condoning this, but some kids get pregnant at 12...why does this 12 year old need help to go to the loo? If someone knows an explanation for this, please let me know, it would blow my mind! Oh and she thinks this is normal.

And now we get to the prodigy. Some of us refer to him as Blockhead affectionately (due to the sheer size of his head) but I shall call him Little Shit....no I won't, that's mean. For the purpose of this blog, he will be known as Darren.

He's annoying as fuck. Not in the attention seeking, constantly talking way. He will just sit there and say nothing. For hours. There's a group of us cousins that get on extremely well, and Jane always makes Darren sit with us. And it just makes the conversation fucking awkward, because he'll take everything in and won't say anything. And then he'll go and tell his mum everything. In a really high voice. His voice just goes shrill when he talks to his mum. It's irritating!
He gets obsessed with certain things, and only talks about that one thing for weeks! I really want him to get tested to see if he has any autistic tendencies. He definitely has some of the characteristics of a child with autism: he is socially awkward, finds if difficult to make friends (he has one, no joke!), memorises trivial things and has to recite them at every given opportunity (I'm not being rude here, I do psychology, and when I researched autism, these characteristics came up, and I couldn't help but think of Darren). One thing that he has been obsessed with are his birthday videos; he has seen every single one countless times. Every time I ask him what he's doing, he's watching one of them. He knows what's going to happen next, and forwards it to the exact time that people appear in the video! what a freak!
He is a spoilt brat. He has to get everything he wants. Even though his parents complain about being broke, not being able to afford basic necessities, he still gets £200 presents at Christmas (completely ignoring the fact that they aren't Christian, and don't necessarily even need to buy presents). If my brother gets a PS3, he needs to have one. If my brother gets a new phone, he needs a new phone (which he isn't allowed to take out of the house.....amazing use of money right?). As I mentioned before, everything is served on a silver platter to him. And if there's anything we can do to help him, we have to drop everything we're doing, and do it right that instant, otherwise, we're just rude. Obviously(!)

I think this post has been long enough. Obviously I have people in my life that are absolutely amazing, but these little pieces of shits just ruin it for me sometimes.

Talking of amazing people, Happy Birthday Jan! You are one of my favourite people ever. Probably because you are as un-tamil as I am!

Three people that brightened up my drive :)

2011-12-10T19:51:00.001+00:00

So, I had to go to out today to pick up some food, and on the way there, I saw, not one, not two, but three weird things! Well, three weird people...here goes:
First of all, I saw a woman walking down the road with her whole upper body covered in tinsel,
Further down the same road, I saw a woman roller blading at breakneck speed down the pavement....backwards!! I was driving past wishing that I wasn't driving, so that I could have taken a video of this woman; it was amazing...or maybe I thought it was just because it's something that I'm unable to do. (As a little aside, I should probably mention that I am ridiculously clumsy, very uncoordinated, and a little bit ditsy at the best of times- just ask anyone I know...or don't. The list will be so long, you'd wish you hadn't bothered to ask!)
Ok, so further down this same road, I saw a man dressed up as a bear. And I'm not talking just bear ears or anything, I mean a man in a full bear suit, with the bear head and everything! Just strolling down the road casually, as if he did this everyday! It made my day!
So, to all the people in my life that always say that I'm weird....there are weirder people out there, I saw 3 on the same road! It was absolutely brilliant :)
Well I just thought I'd share that with you- who ever you may be xx

(I want to publish this, but I don't have a name for this....so bloody difficult to come up with a name for stuff..meh)

Hello world...

2011-12-09T21:47:00.000+00:00

more like "hello to the one person who's actually reading this" but hey it's a start..
I've been meaning to start a blog to post random topics on for a while, but only now have I decided to actually do something about it, and what better day than today? It's my dad's birthday (Happy birthday Dad!) and I thought it may as well be the birth of my blog (too cheesy? Maybe. Am I going to change it? sorry, no!)
What's going to be on this blog? Well, everything and anything; it will basically be a transcript of the voice inside my head, and before you go away and think, "ah the girl must be schizophrenic", I'm not. Honestly. I'm half way (nearly) through a psychology degree, so I think I'd know by now :)
Well, I'm currently sitting here watching Monte Carlo with the brother...so I'm going to go and watch it, because knowing my luck, I'll miss something important and won't understand the rest of the plot :( And my brother really isn't nice enough to answer my million questions!
Bye for now xx