What's That Vegetable?

Neeps and Tatties for Burns Night

2012-01-25T01:20:00.001Z

Happy Burns Night. Have some Neeps and Tatties to be going on with.

Heretical Vegetable - Parsnip

2011-10-24T20:06:00.002+01:00

Ambiguous Vegetable - Mooli

2011-10-24T11:59:00.001+01:00

Coming soon: Parsnip redux

A Very Bitter Vegetable

2011-02-10T20:56:00.002Z

Coming soon: Mooli

Exalted Vegetable

2010-02-28T09:07:00.003Z

Leek

Happy St David's Day (March 1)

Sunny Vegetable

2009-11-13T13:10:00.005Z

Carrot also contains beef, silver and solidarity

The Romantic Vegetable

2009-11-03T23:06:00.001Z

Fruity Vegetable

2009-11-03T22:13:00.002Z

Like most vegetables the tomato is not.

The 'apple of love' was the fruit found in the garden of Eden. Most people think that was actually the apple, or perhaps the fig, but recent research by scholars has revealed that the tomato is a more likely candidate.

Probably a handful of cherry tomatoes.

The name tomato is a corruption of the name of the man who first ate it - Adam - spelled backwards, with an O at the beginning rather than an 'A' and and extra 'ot' just to confuse people.

Vegetable Controversy

2009-11-02T11:53:00.003Z

Plantain

Dangerous Vegetable

2009-11-02T11:48:00.000Z

Sweet Potato

Artistic Vegetable

2009-11-02T11:44:00.000Z

Pak Choi

Jicama - master of disguise

2009-11-02T11:43:00.000Z

Jicama
The jicama or yam bean is neither a yam nor a bean. It is also known as the Mexican turnip.

The jicama had a short-lived career as a vaudeville artiste in the early 1920s, but when the vaudeville theatres converted to burlesque it found it could no longer make a living that way. For a while it tried to be a stripper, but this career was cut short after an accident with a chain saw it was using as part of its act.

Jicama became a recluse in 1933 and has rarely been seen since, though occasionally children stray into its garden to ask for their ball back.

Focus on the Surrealist Vegetable

2009-11-02T11:41:00.000Z

Karela

Olympic Vegetables

2009-11-02T11:39:00.001Z

Daikon
The daikon is pale and long and does not like being seen unless it is lit in the correct manner.

It can often be seen in sushi restaurants and other fashionable hot spots.

Daikon and wasabi (see wasabi) were the power couple during the 1987 winter olympics. They skated to victory, getting the only perfect score seen in the history of their sport. Daikon went through a rough patch in the early 90s, putting on weight and not looking after itself, but now it is back again, better than ever.

Wasabi
(See daikon) Very hot and well known for being green. This makes wasabi one of the break through vegetables.

Has not been seen in its natural state for many years after undergoing a series of dramatic operations shortly after the end of its olympic career.

A big comeback tour in the late 1990s ensured its place in history.

Everybody Loves a Loofah

2009-11-02T11:37:00.001Z

Luffa/Loofah
If you try to make soup from a luffa you might find it takes a while to eat. It is, however, very cleansing.

Crime Fighting

2009-11-02T11:31:00.000Z

Cress
Usually teamed with mustard.

The crime fighting duo of Mustard and Cress was created in the 1930s and the early days of comics. They were hugely popular until the 1950s when a tell-all magazine article revealed the true nature of the pair's relationship.

Mustard and Cress went underground for a number of years but re-merged during the late 1970s. In these more liberal times they are now more popular than ever, although still shunned among certain sections of society.

Artichoke - Legendary Vegetable

2009-11-02T11:28:00.000Z

NB
Artichoke, Jerusalem
Very like the globe artichoke only more religiously ambivalent. Looks like a potato only moreso.

Mushrooms - a Warning

2009-11-02T11:24:00.000Z

Appear at night. Will eat you if you are not very careful.
Mushrooms are not like other vegetables.
The best way to treat mushrooms is with live yoghurt.
If you go mushroom hunting and find a toadstool instead do not eat it.
Do not go mushroom hunting.
Do not eat mushrooms.
They are food for elves and pixies and if you eat them you risk angering the queen of the fairies.

Cabbage - operatic vegetable

2009-11-02T11:23:00.000Z

After a discussion about with mad King Ludwig of Bavaria, composer Richard Wagner went on to write the opera Tannhauser. The leitmotif, Venus emerging from a giant cabbage leaf, was inspired by one of Ludwig's dreams.
The cabbage can also be seen in the work of Botticelli, although a Victorian art dealer later painted out the cabbage leaf because he thought it obscene.

Rock and Roll Vegetable

2009-11-02T11:22:00.000Z

Sprouts of Hell

2009-11-02T11:19:00.000Z

Sprouts

Brussels sprouts cling like tiny babies to the mother stem. If you cleave the sprouts from the plant you can hear their blood-curdling screams echoing throughout the garden. For this reason it is imperative you never use any sort of recording equipment around brussels sprouts. Ear muffs and a blindfold are advisable at all times, and it is always best to use at least two people to harvest the brussels sprouts - one to cut and the other to tend the inevitable wounds.

Rise of the Corn

2009-11-02T11:06:00.001Z

NB

Extract from Maize - the Mythical Vegetable the classic book sent back from the year 2178.

"Corn is the subject of many legends, some of them urban. If there is a disgusting an unpleasant tales circulating you can be sure that corn will appear somewhere in the telling.

Maize has an important role to play in The story of the Minotaur, the monstrous half man half bull of Crete. Although maize was discovered long after ancient Greek times the gods demanded a sacrifice every year.

Twenty girls and twenty boys would fashion a crude facsimile of a corn cob out of wood and would journey into the Minotaurs lair to give him their gifts. He would then make them a lovely cup of hot chocolate, even though chocolate was not available in Ancient Greece, and send them on their way with a gift of tomatoes and potatoes to give to their parents.

Canned good were often substituted for the wooden corn cobs. In these cases the Minotaur would become enraged and send the girl or boy back with a note telling their parents that they could do better.

Things became far easier after the invention of the can opener, but by then the Minotaur was already dead and unable to benefit from the miracles of the modern world."

Vegetable tragedy

2009-08-01T15:48:00.000+01:00

A sad tale, indeed.

A facsimile of the infamous Mappa Okra

Beans mean - Danger!

2009-07-29T14:31:00.000+01:00

Beans are sneaky creatures. They can sneak up on you at the most unexpected times. There are many different types of beans. Some leave the comfort of their pods, gang up and form vigilante groups, infiltrating supermarkets. These are the safest because their intentions are easy to see if you pay attention. The legend of the Trojan Horse is a cautionary tale about not buying too many cans of beans, even if they are on special offer. This sort work in tandem with tomatoes.
The other type of beans - those that remain in their pods until the last minute - are the kind you should avoid whenever possible. This type can be seen in the film Invasion of the Body Snatchers and its two hundred and eighty remakes. Podded beans - AKA French beans, runner beans, green beans etc - will absorb the human body and become you. It is likely your strange great aunt Laura is already a bean-person.

Marrow is only a vision

2009-07-29T14:06:00.000+01:00

There are many distinctive marrows in the world.
The spaghetti marrow is one of the more intriguing examples but you should exercise caution if you are gluten intolerant.
At the English village fete you are bound to spot at least one marrow of gigantic proportions. This is not the natural marrow state and some gardeners have found themselves facing prosecution for their cruel acts upon the hapless creatures.
Not to be confused with the courgette (zucchini) although some courgettes pass themselves off as marrows and live their entire lives undetected.