The moon is full

The sky is clear

The cliff is so stiff

And it feels like. . . It’s right time to die.

I just came back from the dead. A brother somehow needed me, went looking for me, reached out his hands and brought me back to life. I will be forever indebted to him. However, just when I started breathing and enjoying the nourishment of fresh air, a war was waged against my brother. And among those who are on his side, I was the weakest, the most fragile, the most vulnerable; the attack was focused on me to destroy him.

My brother did everything he could to keep me safe. And I realized that the best way for me to protect him was to stay away from him, so I decided to leave the battlefield. A decision which made me branded a coward, although I was not even afraid to die or go back to that darkness where I came from. What I am afraid of and cannot bear is seeing those I care about suffer as a result of my actions.

Before the war, I went to a friend to get my weapon and armor that I entrusted to him before I went to the land of the dead. However, that friend told me that it was long overdue and I cannot get it back. And although I pleaded and explained to him that it is a part of my body and that I am going to war and I am powerless without it, he did not listen to my plea. Instead, he added that my weapon and armor was already given to a friend. We are suppose to be allies fighting in a great war. And he is referring to a friend who is also a dear friend of mine; one who is a better warrior, bona fide and unblemished, unlike me who is heavily tainted with many types of filth. I decided to give up my pleading, rest my case, and let it go.

“Our deepest wounds were not inflicted upon us by our enemies, but by those who are so close to our hearts.” -arlenkalifuentes

Wounded and deeply hurt, I yearned for and sought the refuge of one of my best friends. Calling him from afar, I tried to reveal to him what I felt without mentioning the war nor the name of "that friend." He might have heard the battle, he might have shot some arrows in my back, and he might have thought that I was referring to him. And he might have thought that I had turned into one of his enemies because he shot me with his most vicious arrow that numbed my whole body and almost stopped my heart from beating. Like me, he is one of those who is capable of inflicting such pain. And I cannot totally blame him, for he is also in pain, wounded from fighting his own war. There was no gain in fighting back nor in explaining why, for he was in such a fighting mood, and I felt so weak. Instead, after sending a message to the "Queen of Heart", I went to the solitude and comfort of the forest mountain. And there, while lying on the ground face to face with the midnight moon, I ask the merciful "God of the Unfortunate" if there's still a reason for me to live.

by: Kali formerly hide as
The Anonymous Pain

11:35 PM 4/15/2010

When is the Right Time to Die

The Pain Within