When My Brain Churns

Relationships revisited

2012-01-29T08:00:00.000-05:00

I've been telling a friend I am going back to blogging for two months now. I do enjoy it as a way to vent but sometimes I have the thought and never get to a computer fast enough to jot it down. I've done jotting on my phone but in traffic that can be hazardous.

Below is a repost. I was going to write a blog on relationships and remembered I already did. This was written in July 2010. I should add one thing to this blog- people should spend more time building personal relationships, friendships because those are the only ones that really matters.

Building Relationships ( July 2010)

Silver and gold will vanish away but a good education will never decay. Growing up in Jamaica we repeated this saying often. We learned competence and know-how is an asset for success. Unfortunately, and it is unfortunate, this message is not conveyed often in America. What Americans seem to consistently teach is success is correlated and dependent on “relationship building”; Relationship building which has zero to do with connection as it has to do with an association. My brain churned; an entire society teaching it’s not what you know but whom.

Certainly there is some validity to relationship building IF you are not partial to whom the relationship is built with, but the whole premise for some is a farce as the individuals who are the most vocal on relationship building are very selective. I watched and noted that, for some, the relationships built are the ones where something is expected in return. The brown nosing and arse kissing is at an all time high as competence and know how is shunned and punished as arrogance. Whether in a work setting or in personal life people seem to think its important to tout who they know or interacted with even if it changes their character or competence none.

It’s pointless to ask what exactly are we teaching children as it is obvious; why study really hard if you will achieve from knowing someone instead of knowing. The message is wrong and all individuals should understand treating everyone with respect. Screw the hierarchal nonsense that is so prevalent in this country. The thought oozed a bad taste in my mouth and the brain churning is becoming anger. Anger about a society that seemed to be in race of acquiring, the materialistic, and increased willingness to demoralize oneself with fake relationship building. A pathetic attempt and an off putting pretense. It makes my brain hurt. It causes angst.

Addiction- Confession

2011-10-18T14:22:00.000-04:00

I wrote this blog in October 2008. 3 years later nothing has changed. I am amused.
Dear Friends:

It with great humility and a heavy heart that I write this blog! Blog, no, not a blog but a cry for help. A cry I hope to quickly post before fickleness sets in. It is unclear the number of readers of this blog but, regardless, everyone’s assistance is crucial in my success. I once read, in order to achieve a goal one should make it public as knowing others are privy forces commitment and follow through. It is with this premise that your help is being solicited.

Welcome to my blog- My name is Nicole and I am an addict!

I have been an addict for about 10 years but increasingly so in the last 6. Some of you might have noticed whilst others might consider it commonplace. It is odd, but for the most part, my addiction is not typically a nuance and I am not ashamed because we all have weakness. How can I belittle myself for a habit that takes away loneliness or helps me to feel safe? I cannot tell you the amount of times, because of my addiction, a long ride doesn’t seem so bad, waiting shortens, or I am there completely when a friend has a problem. For those moments I will not apologize for my addiction. For those moments I don’t care what you think.

So why am I asking for your help?

The problem is my children. As a parent, the idea is to steer your kids in the right direction. For the most part I am succeeding but recently, due to my nonchalant attitude regarding my problem, my kids are now a part of it. This saddens me. How can I tell them to stop when I can’t seem to? How can I be a good parent if my addiction is taking over my life? As I am typing this blog I am thinking about it and will probably feed my withdrawal as soon as I am done. I really want to decrease the habit but I don’t want to. I want to just be but I can’t. Last week I caught my son right in the middle of doing the dishes and while doing his homework. It is shocking! It is awful! I am the one to blame. I introduced him to it at the early age of 12 so all I could do was ask him why? At least I thought I did…

My youngest son, previously far removed from the issues, is now a part of it. Not only is he sneaking when doing homework but I saw him sharing with his friends. They all partook. It’s sad. They were on the fracking playground for Pete’s sake! Not one of them said-NO let’s play! I observed in disbelief for about 30mins. I didn’t move. I felt helpless.

I’m not sure how I existed before this but that regression would be nice. Nicer, simpler, quieter… I want to exist in this way again. I need your help. I don’t want to go cold turkey but I am willing to go one day at a time to see where it takes me. The day is chosen and all I want is my friends to call to ensure my commitment! Together, with your help, I know I can be successful.

The day is Tuesday, October 21. I want all my friends to call me and say- Nicole-Your cell phone is taking over your life. You don’t need to have it always next to you. It is not company; you don’t always have to be talking while driving. You can use your voice to announce dinner instead of sending a text. You can drive 1 mile to the store without bringing it! You don’t need to turn around if you are half way to work to get it. You don’t have to call everyone to announce you forgot your phone just in case they need to call. Its o.k. if you turn it off!

Please call me as much as you can. If you get my voicemail just leave a message. I will return the call so you know I am o.k. If possible text me! I have unlimited text (smile). With your help I hope I can become less addicted to my cell phone and unlimited text. Together I can change.
N.

Steve who?

2011-10-10T16:45:00.000-04:00

She posted “Who is Steve Jobs?” A friend suggested –“deleted the status update and use Google to look it up sweetie”. Instead of heeding the advice, or bowing out, a disrespectful tirade of being involved in her “own life and not researching celebrities” ensued. In that instance, if cat-got-your-tongue resulted in an award this blog would be written by a giddy recipient. My best comeback was smh; even brain churning halted.

Asking all gadget users to know the history of personal gadget is too high an expectation. Heck, I didn't know until recently who was responsible for the Blackberry (Info alert-the first BB device was a two way pager in 1999 and the first BB phone was 2003). There are just certain individuals who revolutionized technology and, unless you are a hermit with no access to information, you would or should know their names. Even If you don’t own an iPod or pad or phone everyone used a personal computer at some point and it seems the curiosity surrounding its origin should be common place. It’s like using Facebook but not knowing who Zuckerberg is or talking about Napster and not knowing...

Steve Jobs transformed quite a few industries of which my favourite is the work done through Pixar. I don’t know if my love for Pixar stems from the rapid double middle finger given to Disney who originally rejected the idea or, because I found Toy Story to be so entertaining; I just don’t know. All I know is, I love Pixar even if Disney is now attached to their name. After the IPOD I admit, I was underwhelmed with Apple’s other “I” products each being an iteration of the other. Before IPAD became popular I remember someone commenting about seeing a HUGE iPod. This comment made me chuckle but cemented my brain churning over the eccentricity of the individuals swarming for purchase. Playbooks increased in popularity over the last few years but, since they have been around for over 10 years, it is the Apple stamp of approval not the genius of innovation that can be attributed to Jobs.

Some say innovation for Apple died with Steve Jobs. True, only if he didn’t surround himself with brilliant minds. Technology has lost an excellent scholar. I appreciate all the wonderful things but cannot help but wonder what will be next? My brain churn at all the possibilities of which none makes senses. My idea as idiotic as the question, “who is Steve Jobs?”

Change is good; FB is good.

2011-09-22T12:01:00.001-04:00

It’s Thursday, I was thrilled but also uneasy from the lack of brain churning all week. Thrilled because in hindsight constant annoyance is unnecessary -- though secretly (well not a secret now) --I enjoy the ranting and raving. Uneasy because no brain churning means lack of stimulation unless, I was engulfed in a stream of eternal bliss shunning anything befuddling. Eternal bliss; not an insurmountable hiccup, except, how do you quantify bliss without perplexity to compare? Luckily I was saved from intellectualizing when Facebook (FB) made some changes this week.

I LOVE the FB changes!

I wish the changes were done a year ago. This is exactly what I wanted though I was not particularly enthused people previously hidden from my stream temporarily showed up; a quick fix, gone again. People are amusing, complaining about the changes and how much they hate it. The anger is quite comical. I bet these are the same people who shunned self-checkout at the supermarket. LMAO.

I thought about it but, the brain churning was inadequate in verbalizing my annoyance at the reaction from FB users. I pondered for a moment then I read this post and thought “Well said”.

Random Person "I'm appalled that this free service that I am not obligated to use is making changes that are mildly inconvenient to me."

Nine, one, what?

2011-09-12T11:02:00.000-04:00

9-11 was a huge tragedy; many people died. Time has not been a healer for some families missing loved ones who are unable to progress through the stages of grief. My empathy goes out to these families thus the people making a mockery of the day is simply too much. The long faces, the waiting for the pity and I’m so sorry for your loss, and the long ceremonies to venerate the day is tasteless at best. Humans are social creatures and it is vital is to be a part of something, so, it is understandable everyone has their own 9-11 story to tell even it means where they were at the time “it” happened. People who lost loved ones want the loss acknowledged but the whole facade from the individuals whose behaviors are symptomatic to Munchausen’s syndrome annoys me. My brain churned and I wondered- if I had a family member that was violently killed would I want to be reminded annually of how they were killed in a public ceremony or would I rather sit with close friends to talk about and remember this person and who they were?

People should grieve their loved ones as long as they desire but huge ceremonies are a waste of tax payers’ dollars and should be spent on the suffering living. Are we not almost in a recession? Did the government not curtail unemployment extensions and decreased budgets to programs that assist the poor? What are the benefits of these forums besides public acknowledgements? Those of us old enough to know still remember… Are gatherings of thousands of people in one location on a day that many were killed even safe? This scares me the most… Is the government just experiencing guilt because they ignored the warnings that a devastation was nigh? How many families besides one woman refused the death compensation? I respect her!

Time is not only a healer it also diminishes memory. How many people now pause for the families who suffered the Tsunami in Malaysia? Yes, I know, you moved on to Japan… How many of you care about Pearl Harbor? What do you do on Veteran’s day besides update your FB status and take advantage of sales? How long before we start having September 11^th sales?

Jack sprat would eat no embonpoint

2011-09-07T17:50:00.000-04:00

I love listening to talk radio. A friend introduced us a few years ago and since then I have been hooked; it’s a love-hate relationship. Sometimes the topic resonates and other times… Since I am so dependent on the entertainment for my morning commute it can be annoying if the topic is boring, e.g. Should Obama take vacation when only 33% of Americans took vacation this summer? When the topic is exciting my brain is invigorated; a warm up for all day use. This morning’s topic centered on whether it was right for the Major of Massachusetts to decide to not have soda machines in government buildings.

The callers, of course, either advocated for or against this action. That was not the interesting part. The interesting part was the reasons people gave. One person said that giving individuals access to soda is a proponent (ok maybe he didn’t use the word proponent) for fat. This made me laugh. I have never met a person who got fat from drinking a can of soda even every day. Another person said soda has high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) and this makes you hungry hence you want to eat which, of course, leads back to the whole proponent conversation. Yes, there is some truth to HFCS making you a little hungry per the “braniacs” at Princeton but, isn’t the choice of fries or apples really up to you?

Another caller stated that the government should not dictate to grown-ups how they should eat. He continued to say something to the effect of -grown-ups are fully capable of making the right decision on food choices and should be left to their own vices ( I think I heard the word vices) . Yes, that is so true and explains why over 50% of the population is overweight. Let’s exclude the folks who have weight issues because of medical conditions.

As I listened one thing was clear; everyone used a synonym for fat. This is when the brain churning began. I was curious, my brain churned, how many synonyms are there for fat? Is fat our Eskimo snow word? I couldn’t wait to get to a computer-since I’m a good doobie and didn’t want to do it while driving- ok fine- it was raining and I was scared of crashing.

Here is what I found

abdominous, paunchy, potbellied, blubbery, chubby, embonpoint, buxom, zaftig, zoftig, corpulent, weighty, rotund, double-chinned, jowly, loose-jowled, dumpy, podgy, pudgy, tubby, roly-poly, fattish, fleshy, heavy, gross, porcine, portly, overweight, plump, stout, portly, obese, heavy, tubby.

My fave is embonpoint. It just sounds so lovely. Look at the man, he is so, embonpoint.

Not everyone brain churn

2011-09-02T10:52:00.002-04:00

It’s been a while; a whole summer in fact. As much as I enjoyed ranting and raving on paper, under the guise of brain churning, a break always gives perspective. So many things annoyed me this summer but I couldn’t focus on any because I was more concerned about the weather and the fun I wasn’t having. One thing that caught my attention a few days ago however is the rallying for presidency as it is always amusing the promises politicians make for leverage. For the most part, it was just silent amusement then I heard a “candidate” stated he had a plan to add jobs and get the economy roaring again. Until that statement, this week, the phrase ‘revert back’ was the only thing pissing me off. WHAT A MORON! I don’t know if I can refer to the next few minutes as brain churning because it was a mixture of extreme verbal vomit and screaming at my radio but, it sure got my fingers typing…

All I could think of was, what a selfish moron. Granted there is a huge probability there is no actual plan and this is yet another politician promise but it really angered me. There are so many people unemployed right now, 9.1% as of July 2011, and you are holding this information secret to win a job? Oh the irony. Selfish bastard I thought, then my brain churned and I realized, he isn’t selfish... He is just a complete an utter brainless moron.

See, if I actually had a strategy, I would have been telling the powers that be. I would let the American people know who came up with it so they KNOW I can do the job. But, of course the moron doesn’t actually have a plan and as he skirts and courts the varying towns no-one will actually ask what the plan is. He will probably spew circular arguments designed to confused the intellectually challenged and everyone will oohhh and ahh at the ridiculousness thinking they are a part of the next something great. If he is successful and makes it into office and nothing happens then, as expected, everyone will be so upset at being slighted by-a- politician. At the end of the day do people really want truth or do they want to hear what they think will make them feel better? Do people even listen to what the politicians are saying? Maybe folks still judging candidates by their looks or really great pants suit…

I’m getting annoyed again. Oooh I am down right mad; I just looked out the window and it looks like the sun isn’t making an appearance today. That sux.

Returning Sept 1

2011-08-28T06:22:00.002-04:00

Summer break.
Returning Sept 1

America’s Real Enemy.

2011-06-22T08:06:00.005-04:00

By: Nico

America’s real enemy,

Not guns and bombs,

Not violence or hate,

Not pain or misery,

Not war or fear,

It is something from our history,

Something that held us back,

For years past and years to come.

Food is not the culprit,

Technology not the cause,

Cars are driven by those who choose to drive,

But no matter what we choose to blame,

America’s obesity is our own fault.

It is our own disability to comprehend certain facts,

Like how much we need to eat,

And all the unnecessary fat,

Yes the food is an accomplice in our problem today,

Like people choosing the -bigger half-,

Of food that has too much,

Or making the best bad choice,

On what we have for lunch,

But the real culprit here,

Has been with us and is here to stay,

It is America’s people,

That made America how it is today,

Our conscience is the enemy,

That feeds our stupidity,

Our acceptance of obesity,

Is our natural enemy,

The things we see on TV,

Let us accept things easily,

And do to our economy…

And money being so “costly”

The healthiest-unhealthy chose is the “only” one,

Being like open-armed gifts to save us all,

It lets us easily accept,

The things we should prevent,

To not see things so clearly,

Or an addiction to a “treat”,

Or to various unhealthy sweets.

Or the amount we should eat,

America’s only enemy,

Are the people we love the most,

Not food or technology,

But the lack of conscience of many,

Is a threat that threatens plenty,

And aids obesity,

In this war on the unhealthy,

Obesity is and continues to stay strong,

Unless our desensitization

Is demolished,

By us all.

Birthday

2011-05-12T09:34:00.000-04:00

My sister has a birthday coming up very soon; she recently started her count down. She seems excited about it which I totally understand as birthdays are a big deal. Though you are one year older and some might even say annually approaching your death day, a birthday is a celebration of when you were born; your entrance to the stage of life. It is not unusual to hear thanks given for making another year. It is certainly not unusual to witness my sister’s type of enthusiasm. Perhaps it’s the thought of gifts. Perhaps it’s the idea of a celebration with family and friends. Perhaps people are innately morbid and are secretly celebrating their approach to the death, who knows? Whatever the reason even folks who voice disdain on approaching birthdays, celebrate. People, and I am one of these people, make such a big deal about that one day, and rightly so, yet they spend every other day not celebrating life.

My brain churned and I wondered, wouldn’t life be simply amazing if every day we celebrated like our birthday is approaching? The thought excited me.

Happy Birthday to my sister LLV.

The meek shall inherit the earth

2011-04-28T15:03:00.002-04:00

I love talk radio and that’s one of the things I miss about not having a morning commute. Certainly talk radio is available anywhere there is a radio but there is something about listening to it in the car while balancing my tea and blackberry poised for calling that makes it more entertaining. The topics explored either elicit anger or annoyance and, after a morning of vigorous exercise, who wouldn’t want a spike in emotions with their caffeine? The topic discussed this particular morning was whether or not the children who bullied the young lady who took her life should go to jail. As varying callers expressed their sentiments my brain churned as I realized as truth:- the meek shall inherit the earth.

I don’t condone physical violence under any circumstances but to think some children should be blamed for another taking their life was hard to phantom. The reality of the world is there are people who tease and are considered mean but what a person does to you is not a reflection on you but on them. Why does anyone waste time absorbing what others have to say about them; complete waste of time. Killing yourself because the teasing or verbal abuse is too much is a choice that the individual makes; why is this even an option?

Suddenly there are all these anti- bullying laws and punishment springing all over. Let’s punish the bully-ers as opposed to understanding why they bully or perhaps counseling the bullied and how to be resilient. All this reactive punishment that will only cause excessive walking on eggshells while anger simmers then boils. Why does it matter what a person say to you if you know it’s not true? What if it is true- so what? Certainly, no-one wants to be consistently reminded of a mistake made but if it was your mistake- own it.

I don’t think these children who bullied this girl should be sent to jail. If she was in class where the teacher berates her writing would the teacher be punished when she kills herself? Whatever happens to sticks and stones will break my bones…

When did marriage stop having a u?

2011-03-23T11:52:00.000-04:00

Marriage, a celebratory event that unifies two people: a joyous event. Being married is quite exciting for many as the idea of having someone to love forever and a companion soothes the heart. No longer is there a search for a soul mate, events attended alone, or one side of the bed cold. A party of two is now a party of one and together the blissful moments will be shared and the happily ever after seems within reach.

Some individuals clearly have the wrong idea about marriage.

What happened to the ‘u’ in marriage or even in relationships?

Certainly people were united but within this unification there are still two people. Beyond having one household there is no becoming one. Couples seem to forget the ‘u’ in marriage. Individuality, differences, and varying experiences were shared before marriage and perhaps were a part of the attraction yet individuals give this up losing sense of self. Of course time should be spent with your significant other for growth but shouldn’t you continue to have you? Shouldn’t you have your own experiences? Siamese twins do it...

Is there a ‘u’ in marriage? Of course there is, as long as you maintain or create it. Ditch the spouse sometimes, it’s perfectly healthy. Why spend all your moments together? If you do what will your conversations sound like? Are you replacing sexual innuendos and flirtations with banter on who is responsible for picking up kids or what great feats the child(ren) accomplished today. How boring.

Consider marriage the coming together of a really nice outfit. Even with a nice pair of slacks and a beautiful blouse, and a decent pair of shoes, accessories often bring the outfit together. The outfit alone over times becomes ‘blah’ but, when coupled with different accessories this same outfit is revitalized. In order to get the accessories however one must go out and get them; they will not come to you.

Take some time for you. Find new and exhilarating experiences through interactions with friends or, time alone.

Take some ‘me’ time; absence does make the heart grow fonder... All the stories you can share. Tell me what will the conversations look like now?

The Ponzi Scheming Paycheque

2011-03-10T14:10:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine was very happy because it was payday… well, first she was happy then she mentioned how quickly the money goes from her bank account. The picture of money packing up and leaving created a funny picture in my head; I muffled a laugh picturing money wobbling from the banks with suitcases filled with money hanging out the side looking for their new temporary home. Somewhere between muffled laughter and distraction my eyes fell on a news report about Bernie Madoff and his Ponzi scheme. I gasped, my brain churned, I told my friend "you just gave me the idea for my next blog". I was experiencing brain churning high when the realization hit:-the bank is the biggest Ponzi scheme professional of all.

Think about it, when you get paid unless you withdraw the money it stays in the bank- well a deposit does anyway and then you pay bills to a merchant with this deposit that the merchant now pays another person who also takes it to the bank. I just wrote that and it made me dizzy. Let’s talk about it in terms of dollar amount.

The dollar amount version

Your job pays you $100. You paid $10 to Nstar who takes your $10 to the bank to deposit. The bank now has $10 to give to another person who comes in to make a withdrawal who takes that same $10 and pays Nstar again. Unless I am crazy isn’t that a Ponzi scheme? The definition of a Ponzi scheme is an investment fraud that involves the payment of purported returns to existing investors from funds contributed by new investors (http://www.sec.gov/answers/ponzi.htm). Now granted there is no huge investment return but doesn’t the bank tell you that if you leave a certain amount of money on your account you earn interest and when individuals borrow your money doesn’t the bank charge them extra to give it back?

Huh?

I might be off the beaten path with this one but right now it makes a lot of sense. Right now the $90 you didn’t use from your paycheque is being borrowed by someone else who the bank will charge an interest that you will somehow see in your bank account. Isn’t it amazing what banks get away with? SMH. Don’t let me regress about bailouts.

Step on a crack, break your mother's back

2011-02-24T12:24:00.001-05:00

Growing up in Jamaica weather was rarely a concern. With common knowledge that May and October were the rainy months and the rest of the year sunny no one checked the weather forecast daily to determine rain or sun. That was great, then, I moved to Mass, a culture ingrained with weather talk. “Is it cold enough for ya?”, “Can you believe this weather we are having?” “It’s really nice out today”, “Can it get any colder? ” Questions undoubtedly asked to elicit conversation yet annoyance at the weather was the result. Long winters create a sense of desperation and when desperation kicks in relief is desirable; a relief provided by Phil, Puxatony of course.

This year on February 2, 2011 Phil predicted early spring and when the 60 degree weather hit last week even I was convinced of Phil’s power. My faith in Phil however quickly dwindled when not even two days later there was snow and the temperature dropped to single digits. SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FRACK PHIL? My anger towards Phil exhibited in every stroke as I clean snow off my car, every stomp as I knock snow off my boots, and every time I stare at the temperature willing it to just go up. My brain churned quizzically, Is there really a belief in Phil or do humans just need to believe in something?

Religious folks believe there is a heaven, god, and a land filled with abundance. Superstitious people think, amongst other beliefs, spilled salt must be sprinkled over the shoulder to avoid bad luck. My sister just removed all broken mirrors from her home and I have a friend who believes wearing someone else’s shoe transfers their bad luck. Some people believe in magic, karma, luck… Sports players believe wearing certain items of clothing to or while watching a sport event will make the team lucky. Asian people believe cleaning your house, paying off bills, and not cutting your hair or punishing your kids before Chinese New Year brings luck. There are many beliefs…what are some of yours?

Maybe beliefs are just a way to squelch desperation and panic. I know a groundhog can’t possibly predict the weather , heck on Ground Hog Day this year it was so overcast no-one would see a shadow. When Phil didn’t see his shadow and predicted an early spring my heart soared because I was tired of the snow storms, ice, and bad weather, I was tired of being asked “Too much snow for ya? ” I just needed to know spring is nigh and Phil gave me that reassurance.

But alas, the weather still sucks and now I am upset with Phil!

Job searching blows!

2011-02-11T14:39:00.002-05:00

Job searching, job searching, job searching. At least two of the four days I dedicate to learning is just filled with job searching. It’s such a long tedious process of having to fill out online applications about past skills after so much time is already spent creating a resume. Companies are SO interested in what you have done instead of what you can do. My brain was churning, my mind was blowing but I had a solution; head massage by way of a hair wash. As fingers scratched my scalp and water soothed it relaxation kicked in but the brain churning returned. By the third wash, eureka -- it’s not just job searching and lengthy online applications that suck, it’s what we are forced to search for that does.

Think about work in terms of schooling. The most important knowledge is often attained before high school but don’t we continue schooling to learn and do some new things? It would really be silly, stupid, if we just changed schools yet get the same information. That’s what job searching does. It forces you to look for something you already did instead of a job where you can learn something new while capitalizing on previous knowledge. Why? Because employees are obsessed in what you have done.

The thought is hysterical. If I am searching for a job its one of two reasons:- no job or new job. If I am looking for a new job why on earth would I want one that is exactly like before? Yes, my baseline skills would help me but are companies really interested in a person who has been doing the same thing all the time? Isn’t this the definition of insanity? I can see how my past skills assist the organization but how does that help me if I am learning nothing? Sure the venue changed but the work is still the same. ? Even with a title change often it’s the same job.

Work should be like school always something new. Addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, algebra, geometry, trig, calculus, retirement.

If, ands, ends, or butts

2011-01-31T11:45:00.000-05:00

The tension was high and my gluteus maximus tightened. It would be just as easy to go slow but, the elliptical is an easy work-out day; any easier would be pointless. Suddenly a new song started on Pandora--new to me; immediately I was drawn in, amused. Completely forgetting about the lactic acid build up in my legs I pushed harder. It seems a song about Bunz while working my ass off was doing the trick. “Bunz” by New Boyz and it started like this:-

She had a apple bottom skinny waist
Shake them bunz all in my face
5-6 super freak
Tell all the homies that she got

Bunz, bunz bunz (said she got)
Bunz, bunz bunz (sh-she got)
Bunz, bunz bunz (said she got...)

It was the perfect beat for the elliptical (then again every beat is). It was enjoyable and amusing. I started thinking and, as gears shift and wheels moved, my brain churned realizing the barrage of songs about bunz, butts, asses… As the words from the next song entered my thoughts “…I hate to see her go but I love to watch her leave…” it was even more apparent- there is an obsession with butts. Butts in commercials, videos, and at least one person with a butt slideshow screensaver that I know of…

On a man I love chest and shoulders but this song had me looking at butts, women butts. I realized, nicely shaped butts are not bad to look at. I’m not referring to those butts that grew from fat and definitely not those skinny flat ones. I’m talking about buns that are well formed big or small. This made me think even more about the acceptance of butts across races.

Black men seem to just love butts. Of course some black women are confused and think this refers to big fat butts; quite hysterical as they force lard asses into jeans. Some white men don’t seem to like butts; weird, a piece wood in jeans would not be appealing so I am not sure why an extended back in jeans would be either. I’ve never seen an Asian with a “butt” and some Black and Spanish women sometimes have the ones you can “rest a glass on”.

Jenifer Lopez, Brittney Spears, Kim Kardashian, and more recently the men on Starz-Gladiator seem to bring more media attention to the derriere though butts have been popular for a while in black communities-- the leader of butts. I asked a few black men why they love butts so much and the best response I can get is “it’s an aphrodisiac” -- so are oysters. Are there songs about oysters?

As the incline increased and more butt songs grazed my ipod I churned about my butt workout; why do I do it? Well, first a sagging butt on a male or female, cute jeans or not, is simply not pleasing to the eye, secondly, I like to leave a good impression as I walk away, and thirdly, if it came down to jeggings or pajama jeans it would suck to have to go with pajama jeans.

When will it stop?

2011-01-24T14:10:00.003-05:00

Yesterday at the gym, while stretching, this woman demanded I clean the treadmill off so she can use it. After informing her that I would neither clean it nor continue the conversation I went back to my stretching. That morning I ran 12 miles and my tank top, sports bra, and a part of my gym shorts were soaked with sweat. As I lie on the stretch mat, sweat wringing from my clothes, my brain churned and I wondered do people wipe down the mats after using them?

Why gyms ask that the machines are wiped off after use is beyond me. Surely my membership fee could contribute to hiring part-time help instead of buying paper towels for cleaning and countless spray bottles filled with cleaning solvent. Even more amusing is what they asked to be wiped; treadmills and other aerobic equipments. Not sure what diseases can be contracted from sweat but if this is the fear then perhaps the gym is not the place for you.

People lie on the mats or balls after a sweaty workout so it would make sense these should be wiped yet they are not. Seriously, can you locate my sweat imprint on the machine once I’m off? If you are so afraid of my sweat disease consider cleaning the machine yourself and reserve the ballsy behavior for someone who cares about pointless repartee with strangers. BTW- I should mention- when I run my sweatshirt covers the treadmill face to avoid focusing on time or miles. If there is a need to hold on, switch music, or quickly respond to a BB message my hand holds on to my sweatshirt. At no point are my fingers in contact with the treadmill except to program time and speed.

My brain churning continues as I thought of the extent to which McDonaldization has spread. Its bad enough I have to be my own server and busboy at McDonalds but now I am expected to clean gym equipment I am paying you to use. What next: - companies charge employees for processing their direct deposit or perhaps asking them to shovel the area by their car after cleaning the snow. Quite possible. I chuckled at this situation and eventually busted-out-laughing when I returned to the gym this morning and there is a sign-“In our attempt to keep the gym clean we are asking members to bring a change of shoes.” Please, don’t stop there; just leave me a mop and broom. smh

Healthcare

2011-01-19T13:04:00.001-05:00

Republicans are master time wasters attempting to repeal healthcare. Exactly what is the point? There are so many issues that need addressing in the current economy that I am confused on the rationalization that healthcare repeal was the best way to maximize their two year house rule. Even if the healthcare bill was a big job loser or a money waster there is still assurance in knowing that no one will be denied, capped, or dropped from health coverage just because. There is happiness in knowing that those who are graduating college this year, who might not find a job, can continue on their parent’s health insurance.

These Republicans are just completely ridiculous spewing false data just to mislead. Not that one can blame them for capitalizing on the fact that most people just don’t seek out the original source of information. It is true when healthcare reform was coming many people were against it but how often is there a change that anyone readily accepts? Heck, there are people who couldn’t accept that detergents are now in concentrated sizes. If that was hard, imagine something as big as healthcare where people are unsure of what it entails.

My brain is churning, not from thought but from anger. It is really a shame that people cannot see benefit unless affected. What will it take for Republicans to just get it? Do they need their insurance taken? Do they need a disease that causes their insurance to just drop them? Better yet can we give them an illness, cap the insurance spending, and then take the insurance away? Let’s see them go to another company with their pre-existing condition.

It's been a while

2011-01-14T14:15:00.001-05:00

I retired this blog in July 2010. At the time lack of motivation was the excuse. No, maybe it was boredom. Whatever the reason there was just no longer a drive to brain churn. What was the point of ranting and raving anyway? Certainly there was nothing solved by it other than mine and the amusement of some friends. Such a shame really because after 5 months it was missed; perhaps before that. Maybe there is some truth to the saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'... hmmm don't know. Its not that I stopped writing, no, I just stopped writing this. What changed? The only thing that is different is my peace of mind, my freedom, my return of self, my own definition of normalcy, and escape
So here I am, ready to rant and rave in 2011 for no other reason than I like it and I can!

Happy New Year!

CLOSED

2010-07-06T07:35:00.002-04:00

Closed as of July 2010.

Subscribe to my new articles on the Examiner.

Say it aint so

2010-06-28T22:08:00.000-04:00

A long time ago my sisters and I went bike riding in the woods of NH. My youngest sister was so excited by the downhill that she took off, trees and winney path. A while later we found her lying on the floor bicycle wrapped around tree. She had to be taken to the hospital. Retelling the story was such a thrill for my sisters and me. Each time we repeated the story the speed at which she was riding was "easily 60 miles per hour" We called it a hyperbole as it wasnt intended to be taken seriously. and didnt care as the story was entertaining though clearly each time we added on it was just a plain ole lie.

Hyperboles are doesnt bother me one bit as often its just a way to emphasize a story. The story teller becomes animated and the movements are gigantic and the amusement is great but when does it stop being just that? My brain churns.

Why do people embellish? What is the point of saying something that aint so especially with todays ability to research? Is there regret after the rediculous is told. When a story is embellished I get that but when a person uses embellishing to ruin another person's character it is unbearable. When a person embellishon a story that is not even a smidget of the truth or reality it is an insult to my intelligence.

I dont care if your story includes hyperbole but excessive, unneccesary emblessing is just stupid!

Clean the mirror

2010-06-21T19:14:00.001-04:00

There are some people who never take responsibility for anything wrong they do. They can blame anything and anyone but never accepts accountability for their actions. It is infuriating as, it would be so much easier to tolerate these people without this flaw. I guess they are just as bad as the people who apologizes for everything, even when they are not to blame but, they don't bug me as much.
A friend of mine gave me an awesome analogy today. It is the best example I ever heard to describe these non accountability people. She said- " These people always look in the mirror and when they see their face dirty they begin the clean the mirror" This statement was so profound and made my brain churn. Is that what the problem is they cant see pass their own reflection and back to their face. Are these people so lacking in the ability to look beyond what is infront of them. How are some people able to see the dirt on their faces and wipe it off while others consistently clean the mirror. Oddly enough, in cleaning the mirror ,it too does get dirty.

Relationships

2010-06-07T20:37:00.003-04:00

It was a nice month off and now I am back.

Building Relationships

Silver and gold will vanish away but a good education will never decay. Growing up in Jamaica we repeated this saying often. We learned competence and know-how is an asset for success. Unfortunately, and it is unfortunate, this message is not conveyed often in America. What Americans seem to consistently teach is success is correlated and dependent on “relationship building”; Relationship building which has zero to do with connection as it has to do with an association. My brain churned; an entire society teaching it’s not what you know but whom.

Certainly there is some validity to relationship building IF you are not partial to whom the relationship is built with, but the whole premise for some is a farce as the individuals who are the most vocal on relationship building are very selective. I watched and noted that, for some, the relationships built are the ones where something is expected in return. The brown nosing and arse kissing is at an all time high as competence and know how is shunned and punished as arrogance. Whether in a work setting or in personal life people seem to think its important to tout who they know or interacted with even if it changes their character or competence none.

It’s pointless to ask what exactly are we teaching children as it is obvious; why study really hard if you will achieve from knowing someone instead of knowing. The message is wrong and all individuals should understand treating everyone with respect. Screw the hierarchal nonsense that is so prevalent in this country. The thought oozed a bad taste in my mouth and the brain churning is becoming anger. Anger about a society that seemed to be in race of acquiring, the materialistic, and increased willingness to demoralize oneself with fake relationship building. A pathetic attempt and an off putting pretense. It makes my brain hurt. It causes angst.

On vacation from blogging

2010-05-03T20:47:00.001-04:00

Just because

Bullying

2010-04-26T21:46:00.000-04:00

Bullying, a topic that is really annoying me lately and shouldn’t warrant any brain churning but alas here I am. Quasi politicians are calling for laws to punish children who bully and schools are hiring ‘professionals’ to lecture children on bullying. The ‘news’ reports stories of children who committed suicide because they were bullied- not sure how this makes sense. As usual, adults are taking matters to an unnecessary level. To ask for such stringent punishment on children due to bullying seems very excessive. We can’t get rid of a behavior by simply punishing! If this was the case there would be no crimes.

Why should any child be held accountable for another who made the choice to end their life; anything could have put this person over the edge. Normal people just don’t commit suicide, well not on purpose… Who is a bully anyway? They are mere inadequate people who must pick on a seemingly weaker person to feel better about them. Why aren’t parents teaching their children this?

A woman on the radio today demanded school officials do “something” because her daughter will not return to school because she was bullied. That was amusing to me. Way to go Einstein-What a great way to allow your child to be picked on even more. Maybe I’m missing the point but, whether its grade school or old age home there is always a bully and the sooner children learn to stand up and defend themselves against bullies the better. Consider it a rite of passage!