When You Have a Kid

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

2012-06-19T12:55:00.000-04:00

It's time to change the blog name. Come December, the singular ("a kid") will no longer be accurate. That's right: Hadley baby #2 is on the way! And I'm sure having kids--vs. simply a kid--will introduce a whole new set of changes. And while there will likely be renewed inspiration to blog about them, I'm sure there will be even less time to do so. We'll see.

He's Not So OSO Special: My Brain on Theme Songs

2012-02-24T12:28:00.002-05:00

When you have a kid, you find yourself at work, with kids' songs stuck in your head.

I'll give you a taste of the latest lyrical genius to successfully drill itself into my brain matter:

He’s OSO special (Hurry OSO)
OSO special (Way to go)
Special agent (special agent) OSO!

Yup, that's right: the Special Agent OSO theme song! What could be better than trying to write a technical white paper, accompanied by an endless loop featuring a bumbling 007 wannabee?!

Forget Facebook, Twitter, or the latest social media darling Pinterest. Getting a kids' song stuck in your head is the ultimate productivity killer. I may have to try the old trick of listening to the song in its entirety in order to purge it from my mind. Internets, don't fail me now!

I would ask about the worst kids' song you ever got stuck in your head, but I wouldn't want to replace one bad song with another.

[video] A Sidesplitting Rendition of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"

2012-02-21T19:45:00.000-05:00

Move over, Mariah Carey. My 22-month-old daughter can hit the high notes! Here's her ~~earsplitting~~ sidesplitting rendition of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."

Tiny Fort (A Win-Win Workaround)

2011-12-12T17:03:00.002-05:00

For a few weeks, A. was beyond obsessed with building forts. Often, it was the first thing she wanted to do upon waking up.

Being process-oriented, I quickly settled upon an ideal fort configuration for our living room that required the following:

3 couch cushions - two for the walls, one for the roof
2 blankets - one for the floor; the other draped over the top, creating a tent flap door
Disney princess table and chair - to support the walls from the outside

I would build the fort against the couch, creating a third half wall. A. loved to climb in and out of the opening, and probably used it more than the actual door.

But anyway, while building forts is generally fun, it can get a little tiresome--especially at the crack of dawn. Also, there are times where you really don't want to rip apart your couch and living room.

So one day, I devised a workaround: the tiny fort. The tiny fort is essentially just a sheet or blanket draped over our heads.

The tiny fort was an instant hit, and a clear win-win. It's quick and easy to build, and it's still a lot of fun for A. Often, she'll be sitting on a couch or bed and reach for a blanket, saying "tiny." And to be honest, she rarely wants to build regular forts anymore.

As a marketer, I'm inclined to believe branding contributed to the tiny fort being a hit, as the name maintains the positive association with forts in general. Had I called it something else, say "blanket on head," I don't think it would still be in the rotation today.

What workaround have you devised for your kids?

Ready to Party

2011-10-28T19:11:00.002-04:00

Actual conversation...

Me [putting a Sesame Street birthday hat on A]: Who's ready to party?
A: Ama
[A walks out of the room]
Me: Where are you going?
A: Party.

The Surprising Thing My Daughter Learned from Snow White

2011-09-20T12:55:00.000-04:00

When you have a kid, they constantly surprise you.

This story is no longer new, but it's something I want to capture before I forget. Besides, it's too cute not to share.

A few months ago, I watched A. while Steph went to a wedding. At bed time, I read her the board book version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. When we got to the page where the prince kisses the sleeping Snow White, A. suddenly leaned forward and kissed the book. Then, she turned around and kissed me!

We read the book several more times--it took quite a while to get her to sleep that night--and each time, she did the same thing: kiss the book, and then kiss me. It was ridiculously cute. It also made me realize just how much comprehension precedes communication with young children. Although A. could say very few words beyond “mama” and “dada” at the time, she clearly understood much, much more.

Hurricane Irene (As Drawn by a 16-Month-Old)

2011-09-14T09:00:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, while Hurricane Irene was battering the East Coast, we spent several hours in the basement playing with A. We built forts, read books, played with Playdough, and drew pictures with crayons. One of A.'s drawings, in particular, stood out because it reminded me of the hurricane itself. I can clearly see big waves and falling rain. Can't you?

Help My Family Win a Trip to Turks & Caicos!

2011-08-24T10:03:00.000-04:00

This morning, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I've been selected as a finalist in the Vacation Memories content on Boston.com. That's pretty exciting, but now I need your help! Through August 28th, there is a public voting phase. I would really, really, really appreciate it if you could take a moment and cast a vote for my entry, "Father and son on the beach". Yes, I know I have a girl and I am trying to get that corrected. Even though I specifically say "daughter" and "little girl" in the essay, they must have mislabeled the entry because of the picture. I'll admit: she does look a little boyish, especially with the Red Sox hat on.

Here is my essay, which you can find on slide #4:

"With a 1-year-old daughter, my wife and I are constantly celebrating firsts--from solid foods to steps to words, and then some. This summer marked another first: our first family vacation. We spent a week in Martha's Vineyard enjoying the beaches, shops and ice cream parlors. Along the way, our little girl experienced other firsts, including her first boat ride, her first lighthouse and her first nap on the beach. Thanks to her constant smiles, this vacation will always be first on my list." - Ed H.

Thanks in advance for your votes and support!

#44: The Two Secrets to Blowing Bubbles

2011-08-16T08:56:00.003-04:00

The Two Secrets to Blowing Bubbles

A. loves bubbles as much as the next kid--she's been fascinated with them for months--but it wasn't until this past weekend that she learned to blow bubbles herself. As I was able to document, the secret to blowing bubbles boils down to two things:

Focus...

...And Fun!

WW#37: 5am's Silver Lining (Sunrise Beach, Marshfield, MA)

2011-08-03T08:31:00.000-04:00

Wordless Wednesday: 5am's Silver Lining (Sunrise Beach, Marshfield, MA)

Last weekend, we stayed at my in-laws' beach house in Marshfield. When A. got up early (as per usual!) on Saturday morning, Steph and I took her down to the beach to watch the sunrise. The beach we went to is fittingly named Sunrise Beach. Based on the pictures below, you'll see why. The sunrise was breathtaking!

WW#36: Where's A.? (Our Reverse Peekaboo Game)

2011-06-08T08:47:00.000-04:00

Wordless Wednesday: Where's A.? (Our Reverse Peekaboo Game)

There's this game we play with A., our thirteen-month-old daughter. We call it "Where's A.?" It's kind of like a reverse peekaboo. Instead of hiding of our faces, A. hides hers--either under a blanket or behind a pillow--and we say "Where's A.?" She'll wait a few seconds and then pop her head back up, grinning as we say "There she is!" And then we repeat the game, often several times.

This weekend, while Steph was doing the grocery shopping, I built a fort for A. on the couch and she and I played the "Where's A.?" game. I grabbed the camera and was lucky enough to capture the before and after.

Where's A.?

There she is!

#43: The Amazing Power of an Hour a Day (My 2011 Reading List)

2011-06-07T09:38:00.003-04:00

When you have a kid, you have very little time for reading.

In the first three months of 2011, I read one book. In the last two months alone, I’ve read seven. Going from one book in three months to seven books in two months is a significant increase. So what changed? The amazing power of an hour a day.

Two months ago, I got a new job and for the first time in my career, I started taking public transportation. Freed from the burden of driving, I was able to devote my commuting time--roughly an hour a day--to other pursuits, namely reading. Depending on the book, the traffic, and my state of mind, I read 40-50 pages a day, 200-250 pages a week. Even factoring in a few bus rides to write (like I am now) or just listen to music, it’s easy to see how I was able to read so many books in such a short time.

This simply wasn’t possible before. With a thirteen-month-old, I have virtually no time to read at home. When she's awake, we're running around constantly. When she's sleeping, we're trying to pick up the house, make dinner, etc. After all that's done, I’m either too tired or too unmotivated to read. But taking public transportation has given me an opportunity to read again and I’ve seized it. Having that hour each day has allowed me to produce remarkable results.

I thought I would share a running list of the books I've read in 2011. It's my testament to the amazing power of an hour a day. Hopefully, if you're a busy parent, it inspires you to find an hour a day to devote to something important. If nothing else, maybe you'll find a book or two to enjoy.

1. Content Rules, Ann Handley and C.C. Chapman - A good practical guide to creating marketing content. My only criticism is that it felt like a stitched together series of blog posts. Grade B+

2. The New Rules of Marketing and PR, David Meerman Scott - A great overview of how the Web and social media have changed the rules of marketing, and why businesses must adapt. Grade: A

3. Crossing the Chasm, Geoffrey Moore - If you market high tech products, then this book is a must-read. The tech references are ~~a little~~ very dated, but the principles still ring true. Grade: A-

4. Selling to VITO the Very Important Top Officer, Tony Parinello - There are a few good points about C-suite selling, but they're buried among constant cliches and cheesy writing. Grade: C

5. Emperor of the Air, Ethan Canin - A solid collection of short stories that I first read in college because one of my English professors knew the author. The title story is the best. Grade: A-

6. A Farewell To Arms, Ernest Hemingway - While I prefer Hemingway's short stories, this is one of his classic novels. It powerfully captures the disillusionment with WWI. Grade: A

7. The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald - Another classic from the 1920's. Jay Gatsby's great design is so tragically flawed, but in a way, you can't blame him for trying. Grade: A

8. The Things They Carried, Tim O'Brien - My favorite book. Ever. It's about war, yes, but also peace, death and life, hate and love, confusion, pride, shame, anger, and so much more--all in one unforgettable book. Grade: A+

9. The Long Tail, Chris Anderson - Fascinating theory that has revolutionized markets from music, media, and entertainment, to traditional retail. However, I felt the book could have been more succinct. Grade: B+

10. The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell - Great analysis of social epidemics, i.e. what causes ideas, products, or messages to spread like viruses. I love the examples he uses to make his points. Grade: A

11. Winesburg, Ohio, Sherwood Anderson - Had high hopes, since Anderson was a big Hemingway influence, so was a little disappointed. Great characters but the writing didn't blow me away. Grade: B

12. Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe - Haven't read this book since college. It's a good look at pride/hubris and the often destructive influence of Western "civilization". Grade: B+

13. Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell - Ok, I'm officially a huge Gladwell fan. Another great book, this one looking at the keys to success, using examples like Bill Gates and the Beatles. Grade: A

WW#35: Sandbox Baby

2011-05-25T09:00:00.003-04:00

Wordless Wednesday: Sandbox Baby

Considering how much A. loves the beach, it was only natural that we get her a sandbox for the yard. Just to tide her over in between trips to Marshfield. True to form, she had a blast. If this photo wasn't proof enough, you should have seen the amount of sand we swept up from her bedroom floor afterward.

#42: Museum of Science (Molecules, Mirrors, and Memories)

2011-05-24T08:51:00.003-04:00

When you have a kid, you have an excuse to get geeked out.

Over the weekend, we took A. to the Museum of Science. We got free passes from our local library branch; I highly recommend getting a library card if for no other reason. Although our one-year-old daughter was too young for most of the exhibits, we were pleasantly surprised by how much there was to keep her occupied for the two-plus hours we were there. The archeological dig "site" was by far the biggest hit, which makes sense given how much she loves the beach and her new sandbox. Exhibits involving light, mirrors, or water were also well received. Sometimes, things that weren't even exhibits were entertaining. And, as you'll see below, daddy also had a lot of fun, nerd that he is.

#41: Family Rituals

2011-05-16T09:00:00.000-04:00

When you have a kid, your family develops its own little, quirky rituals.

Families are full of rituals, big and small. With the smaller ones, you often can't remember their origin. You simply wake up one day and realize they're an integral part of your routine. The specific actions that comprise the ritual aren't important in themselves; rather, they gain importance from the fact that they are and must always be performed.

Like this one. Every morning, while Steph showers and gets dressed, I watch A. We do different things -- play, watch an episode of Sesame Street, eat breakfast, etc. -- until A. hears the hair dryer. That sound is like the whistle to Pavlov's dog. Hearing it, she immediately runs to the gate at the bottom of the stairs. I bring her upstairs to the bedroom and plop her down on the bed next to Steph while she dries her hair.

What we do next varies by the day. Sometimes, A. stands on the bed and "helps" Steph with her hair. Other times, I'll grab the hairbrush and brush A.'s hair or let her brush mine. Lately, I've started building mini pillow forts on the bed, surrounding her in a little square. She gets such a kick out of it, and will dive headfirst into the pillows with a huge smile on her face.

Next week, we'll probably find something different to do while Steph dries her hair. But one thing is certain: A. and I will be up there while she dries her hair. Now matter how much the ritual changes, it stays the same. And that's what I love about it.

What are some of your family rituals?

WW#34: First Beach Day

2011-05-11T09:00:00.000-04:00

Wordless Wednesday: First Beach Day

Last weekend, we went to my in-laws' beach house in Marshfield to help get it ready for summer. We were expecting rain, but it ended up being a beautiful day -- so nice, in fact, that we took A. down to the beach. While she had been to the beach a few times last summer, she was too young then to understand where she was or what to do. This trip was completely different. A. not only loved playing in the sand, but she couldn't get enough of the ocean. As you can see below, she literally struggled to stay in the water when Steph tried to bring her back to the beach.

I'm thrilled by how much A. loves the beach; it bodes well for our Martha's Vineyard vacation in June, not to mention all of the weekend trips to Marshfield throughout the summer. At the same time, though, I recognize that sitting on the beach with a book is a thing of the past. As Steph said, it's going to be a frozen ankles kind of summer!

After that long-winded introduction, here are some photos from A.'s first beach day of the summer.

Sunrise Beach in Marshfield, MA

It was relatively empty despite the nice May day.

First, we played in the sand.

Then we picked up sea shells and rocks.


Mommy was ever-vigilant.

Daddy took a break from taking photos to pose for one.

Then we walked along the beach.

A. surveying the ocean.

She had no fear of waves or cold water.

She kept running back for more.

Steph had to drag her out of the water.

She had such a good time she smiled all the way home!

#40: Party Planning for Parents: 5 Lessons Learned from my Daughter's First Birthday

2011-05-10T08:52:00.007-04:00

When you have a kid, you're often thrust into the role of party planner.

A. and her grandma

A few weeks ago, my daughter A. celebrated her first birthday. To mark the occasion, we hosted a party at the house for our friends and family. It was a great day and the party went off without a hitch. Looking back, though, I realized that there were a few things I probably would have done differently. Here are five lessons learned from hosting my daughter's first birthday party. Hopefully, they help inform your own party planning efforts.

1. Hosting is hard work. You might try to trick yourself into thinking it will be easy with statements like "Oh, we'll just have something small at the house". But here's the deal: A.) what starts out small never ends small and B.) hosting a party of any size is hard work. Maybe it's because I'm a perfectionist and borderline OCD but parties usually entail weeks of prep, followed by running around non-stop the day of the event.

2. Assign someone (other than yourself) to take pictures. As I learned, you'll be way too busy running around to properly document the event. Instead, enlist someone with a decent eye and the freedom/willingness to roam the party and capture the highlights.

3. Buy/make less food than you think you need. You never want to disappoint "Martha" by running out of food. But at the same time, how many days in a row can you eat the same leftovers for lunch AND dinner? I guarantee that "underestimating" will still be overestimating--just in a more reasonable manner.

4. Distribute goody bags early. Some guests--e.g. parents with young kids on schedules--will leave the party early, even if it's a lunchtime affair. When they do, you'll be more focused on rushing over to say a quick goodbye than remembering to grab their goody bags.

5. Set an end time. Remember to give yourself enough time to clean and more importantly, to relax. Fortunately, because A.'s first birthday party was at noon, we had plenty of time afterwards to unwind. After all, hosting is hard work!

What other lessons have you learned from planning and hosting parties for your kids?

#39: The Wheels on the Bus

2011-05-06T08:44:00.000-04:00

When you have a kid, work issues are often parenting issues.

The wheels on the bus go round and round,
Round and round,
Round and round.
The wheels on the bus go round and round,
All through the town.

This song is my new daily reality. After eight years of driving to work, I now take the bus. While that's clearly a work issue, it's also a parenting issue. Because I have to leave the house at the same time every morning--7:35am to be precise--we're on a tight schedule with little room for error. When Steph showers, I watch A. and vice versa. Then all three of us eat breakfast. I grab my coffee and lunch and head out the door for my nine-minute walk to the bus stop.

Side note: my two favorite parts of the morning are when A. kisses me goodbye (though we have to work on her sloppy, open-mouth "kiss") and when she waves to me from the dining room window.

On most mornings, we move with precision, though sometimes we're a little behind because I snooze for an extra nine minutes or A. has a poopy diaper or we're just moving slow. I can't stand being late for anything--let alone missing a bus--so it was a little nerve-wracking at first. But we've gotten into a good routine. I even set the alarm clock a little earlier, so we have more of a buffer. We use those extra 20 minutes for whatever pops up, or just some extra family time.

I wasn't sure how I would like the bus, but so far, it's been fantastic. I love that I can use the time to be productive, versus having to focus on driving. My stress level is down--this past winter in Boston was brutal for driving--and in four weeks, I've read three books and listened to hours of music. To top it off, between rising gas prices and what I would have had to pay for a parking permit, it's way cheaper. Hopefully, I still love the bus after going through my first winter!

WW#33: Baby's Serious Face

2011-05-04T08:42:00.000-04:00

Wordless Wednesday: Baby's Serious Face

I took this photo over the weekend. A. wasn't in a bad mood or anything. I just happened to catch a fleeting moment of seriousness. I'm amazed by the wide range of emotions babies express--often in a very brief period.

WW#32: Sleeping Beauty (The Sequel)

2011-04-27T09:00:00.000-04:00

Wordless Wednesday: Sleeping Beauty (The Sequel)

If you're wondering about the sequel parenthetical, I already published a post entitled "Sleeping Beauty". I take so many pictures of A. sleeping (several more examples here) that I might just have to make it its own regular series. She always looks so peaceful and adorable that it warms me to the core! It's those moments where you gain a special appreciation for being a daddy (or mommy).

#38: Easter Fun Facts and Photos

2011-04-26T08:52:00.000-04:00

Christmas comes but once a year, but it's possible for Easter to not come at all. Sort of.

Here's an interesting fact Steph and I realized over the weekend: because Easter was celebrated on April 4th in 2010 and April 24th in 2011 and our daughter A. was born on April 16, 2010, she didn't celebrate her first Easter until after her first birthday. It's just one of those anomalies because of how the date is determined; according to this Geocities-looking web page, Easter falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Vernal equinox (March 21st).

Anyway, our first Easter with A. was good--at least until the car ride home, but we'll chalk that up to teething and over-tiredness. A. had a great time playing with her cousins and my sister-in-law's dog Rusty. The weather was surprisingly warm and sunny. The Italian Easter pies--a tradition in Steph's family--were delicious. And the Celtics and Red Sox both brought out the broom and swept!

Here are a few Easter photos.

Happy Blogiversary... to Me!

2011-04-23T10:00:00.000-04:00

Today is my first blogiversary! When I started When You Have A Kid one year ago today, my daughter A. was just one-week old, so I was as new at blogging as I was at parenting. To be honest, I had no idea what I was doing in either area, but I learned along the way. And despite the occasional bump or bruise, my experience as both a dad and a blogger has been tremendously fun and rewarding.

As Robert Louis Stevenson wrote, "To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive...". Whether you've been there from the beginning or hopped on along the way, thank you for joining me on this journey. I'm excited to see where it takes us over the next year and beyond.

p.s. As a blogiversary gift to myself, I am going to redesign the blog. Stay tuned.

#37: Happy First Birthday to My Baby Girl

2011-04-16T08:30:00.000-04:00

When you have a kid, the first year goes by fast. Really freakin' fast.

One year. 12 months. 365 days. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes. 31,536,000 seconds. No matter how big I try to make the unit of time, it still feels incredibly small because it went by in the blink of an eye.

A year ago today, Steph and I welcomed our beautiful baby girl into the world. A. was 11 days late, which was very un-Hadley like. But once she burst onto the scene, there was no holding her back. It seemed like every other week we were celebrating a major milestone. Like rolling over. Or eating solid foods. Or crawling. Or mastering the stacking rings toy. Or saying "dada". Now she's walking like a (semi) pro and even learning to feed herself with a spoon. I'm constantly amazed by how much development is packed into the first year.

I'm so proud of each accomplishment and how far A. has come in such a short time. I'm also excited for what the next year holds, and look forward to being able to interact, communicate, and play with her on a whole new level. Yet, I can't help but be a little saddened that each day she becomes less like a baby and more like a kid. I want her to grow up and do amazing things, but at the same time, I want her to always be my baby girl. (As I wrote when A. turned four months, I want to have my cake and eat it too.)

Today, there will be plenty of cake--and plenty of celebration! Happy First Birthday to my baby girl! I love you so much.

-Daddy

#36: Baby's First Trip to the Zoo

2011-04-11T09:00:00.000-04:00

When you have a kid, there's plenty of time for monkeying around on the weekends.

Saturday was a warm, sunny day, so we decided to take baby on her first trip to the zoo. We went to the Franklin Park Zoo, which was perfect for two reasons: it's close (we got there in under 15 minutes) and it's a manageable size (we saw everything in three hours and weren't exhausted afterwords). The only disappointment was that the giraffe wasn't out; apparently, it has to be warmer than 65 degrees outside.

A week from her first birthday, A. was just a tad young to fully appreciate the zoo, but she--and we--had fun anyway. To be honest, she was more interested in the other babies than the animals. However, considering how much she loves my sister-in-law's dog Rusty, I'm optimistic that the zoo will quickly become one of her favorite destinations. We bought season passes, so it better!

Anyway, here's a collection of photos from our trip to the zoo.

What Blogging and Exercise Have in Common

2011-03-30T11:00:00.001-04:00

Blogging is like exercising: once your routine is disrupted, it can be (really, really) hard to get going again. I apologize for the three-week spell between posts. First, I was busy landing a new job, and then I got sick. But a third chunk of time was plain lack of inertia, and for that, I have no justification.

So here's my first attempt at setting the wheels in motion again and reestablishing my blogging routine. I will keep it short and sweet: a recent picture of me and A. playing outside on a nice, sunny day. As the resident photographer of the family, I take way more photos than I'm in, so consider this a rare treat. It's motivation to me to ensure that this blog is a treat too--but one that's not so rare!