Where I Rome

Guilty!

2017-02-26T12:25:00.004-08:00

Many of us have heard the phrase "Don't take the law into your own hands" and know that it is wrong to do so. But what does that mean? It means you can't apprehend someone, AND accuse them of a crime, AND judge them guilty, AND mete out punishment. Yes, you must do all of that to take the law into your hands, be police, judge, jury, and executioner.

Yet, we do that on the all the time. The earliest I can remember this happening is the McMartin molestation case of the 80's. Those people were guilty from day 1, until they were found not guilty, and even then, probably still have issues with it to this day. Before we come to judge anything, maybe we should leave it to a Court of Law, and not the Court of Public Opinion. After all, isn't that the basic root of all our problems, that we think we're right and those in opposition are wrong?

All of us base our opinions on each of our own experiences that we had in life, by placing ourselves in whatever situation that has occurred. But in reality, no one has the same exact experiences, therefore, opinions will differ. So no one is completely right or completely wrong, and everything depends upon things specific to what happened, not what we believed happened. In other words, I'm right and you're wrong, so you should listen to me. ;p

ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

2014-10-03T23:19:00.000-07:00

I'd like to say a few things about the ALS Ice bucket challenge.

First, it was done to raise AWARENESS of the disease. If you don't know by now, Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) is often referred to as "Lou Gehrig's Disease," and is a progressive neuro-degenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord. That was taken from the ALS site, http://www.alsa.org/about-als/what-is-als.html

Second, like some people, I too thought to criticize the challenge because there was a PERCEPTION that people were only pouring cold water on themselves, and not giving money to the cause. In some ways, the only criticism should be that if you did the challenge, you were to donate LESS money than if you didn't do the challenge. The truth is, no one knows how much one actually donates, and no one should ever criticize how much anyone donates to anything, because that's their own business. And the proof is there. Last year, just under $3 million was donated to ALS. This year, they're already topping $100 million.

But, where are we now? Awareness was raised. Now the next step is, "Understanding."

ALS is a disease that progressively disconnects the brain from the muscles in your body. Your brain works, your muscles work, but your brain is slowly unable to tell your muscles what to do. So let's imagine ourselves with the disease. You progressively get weaker, you have trouble walking. First you use a cane to help you walk, then you need a powered wheelchair, then you need someone to push you in a wheelchair. This degenerative process could take years.

But that's just simplified. There is more to it than not being able to walk. You can't feed yourself, you can't bathe yourself, you can't dress yourself, you can't work and earn money. Eventually, you can no longer do anything and are confined to a bed. You'll need to be fed by a tube because you can no longer swallow. Then you need a mechanical respirator because you can no longer breathe on your own.

In the meantime, someone also needs to help you do things. That means that they too, can not work, because you are now their full-time job. In a perfect world, we may not have the disease, or we have a cure for it. In a better world, we have some type of assistance for people who get this awful disease. Awesome insurance that pays for a Nurse or a facility to help you. In the real world, without a job, people struggle financially. Maybe someone in the family can become a caregiver. Now that's two with no income. It becomes overwhelming.

I know. I had to care for my own mother, although she did not have ALS. It is very hard, but I was lucky to have a job with just the right hours, and siblings that did what I couldn't, when I couldn't.

I also know someone who has ALS and is struggling with it. She has bills to pay, and had to sell her car and eventually leave her job because she was no longer able to do it. She has a loving Adult teenaged daughter that is now her caregiver. And she has friends that look after her needs.

Unfortunately, my friend has also had bad experiencse with the ALS Association, and would much rather have people donate to ALS Guardian Angels. She questions where all the money goes to at ALSA.

According to Charity Navigator, an Independent website that researches Charities, and rates the ALSA High in Transparency, 72.4% of the ALS Association's budget was used for program expenses — that is, the programs and services the ALS Association delivers to the ALS community according to its mission, such as professional and public education, research into ALS treatments and cures, and patient and commmunity services. Of the remaining budget, 11% went to administrative expenses and 16.5% to fundraising expenses.

But what are program expenses? "Overhead" could be where their office is located and "Program" could be where they conduct monthly meetings in different areas for People with ALS or "PALS." When my friend went to meetings, they were not given water and/or even a snack. There would always be less than 10 PALS there with their Caregivers or "CALS."

The ALSA claims that a caseworker is assigned to each PALS, and they are paid a salary. This could also fall under "Program Expenses." She has not been visited or had telephone contact with her caseworker in over 1 year. If she has not been visited by a salaried employee, how many other PALS have also been neglected as well?

Another example, a Gala took place at the Roosevelt in Hollywood that could be considered a "Fundraising Expense (16.5%)." However, if the Gala is for PALS, CALS, Researchers and those that are going to be recognized by ALSA, why was the Gala made to be something so out of reach with a price of $300 a ticket? You'd think by using donations for Fundraising Expenses at 16.5 %, maybe people with ALS could have gotten tickets at a discounted rate or maybe even, free? And at $300 per ticket, wouldn't you say that the fundraiser was paying for itself? My friend has had her own fundraisers and benefit concerts and they did not have costs of 16.5% of donations. If private people can do it for less, why can't a professional organization? By not being able to go to the Gala, my friend feels that the ALSA took her voice away, she wanted to go, tell her story and be heard. But the ALSA made it nearly impossible for her to even go to a Gala for people like her.

This is a really sore subject for her but fortunately she has been connected with the ALS Guardian Angels. Everything the ALS Guardian Angels receives goes to assist PALS. Stu, who runs the organization with others, does it because simply, it needs to get done, and they know the need is there.

From the ALS Guardian Angels website, "OUR MISSION: Most ALS related organizations are dedicated to finding a cure. Until then, ALS patients need help living. The ALS Guardian Angels Foundation is dedicated to helping patients and their families live with ALS while maintaining the best quality of life possible."

Also to make things even clearer, she would ask that you stop referring to a person with ALS as a "patient." Why? Patients can go to the doctor and get treated. There is NO treatment or cure for ALS. Sobering, isn't it? And anyone can get it, no one knows how or why.

So if you can, help people with ALS live a life. Please make a donation to:
http://www.alsguardianangels.com/

My friend has her own personal fundraising page at:
http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/nora-perez-vs-als-/235661#.VCpjTYX3Z9M.facebook

You raised Awareness, you now have some Understanding, now you can take Action.

All of US

2014-07-04T07:52:00.002-07:00

July 4th, the day we celebrate the forming of a Union of several States, governed by the Constitution. We are not perfect. Laws are not perfect. But we have the right to make amendments to all laws to fix them, if they have defects.

Some countries don't have any rights. So, if a decision is made based on an interpretation of the Constitution that you don't like, don't blame anyone. Fix the system, make amendments. That's why this Country is better than others.

Stop complaining, work to make things better for everyone. It's not about you, or what you think is right, it's about US. When you believe that your thoughts are always right, and the other side is always wrong, we no longer have a Democracy.

I believe in your right to disagree with what I say and feel. You have a right to your own opinions. I have a right to mine. Respect that without hate. That's what it's all about.

Heart Mountain Part 2

2013-06-19T22:29:00.001-07:00

Well, now what? Here you are in a strange place, with nowhere to go. You can sit still and demand things, like more food, insulation for your room, your freedom, anything. But this was the 40's. It's a time when people did things for themselves. Not like today when you demand from your leaders what you lack.

So everyone got together. Experts were sought out, and they found one. A recent college graduate who's major was agriculture. He examined the soil and told everyone what would grow in the fields. Because of the harsh climate, and the short time frame for farming, "new" methods were used to grow crops. Many crops were grown with caps to keep them from freezing until the weather permitted the plant to grow on their own. Once crops were establlished, food was no longer too scarce. They even dug a huge root cellar to store root vegetables for later use. They eventually even supplied other Internment camps with vegetables.

Others raised pigs, and chickens for their eggs and meat.

Some who were involved with Boy Scouts re-started their Troops inside the camps. Teachers got together with outside local teachers and taught school there. Doctors worked in the Infirmary or Hospital. Carpenters and wood workers started to fix-up the public areas to provide more privacy, and make things overall, more livable. Nothing like what they had before being sent there, but much better than when they arrived.

The people stuck there, under conditions they were not used to, started to "make" a life. Not a great life, but they worked with what they had.

Some conflicts grew because in Asian culture, the Parents or your elders, were the leaders and in charge. But in this case, the elders were first generation Japanese immigrants, and the people in charge of the Internment Camps would not put them in leadership positions. They let only the adults who were born in the US to have leadership roles. Asians were also "family" oriented, and most did everything together, but once in the camps, children often played with other children, ate in the Mess Hall with their friends, got in trouble with their friends. The Family structure started to disintegrate.

Eventually things ran as smooth as it could and then the Draft aged men were asked to volunteer for military service. Some who wanted to prove that they were loyal Americans, signed up right away. Some were still angry at being incarcerated with essentially no rights, and demanded that they be let go, and have their civil rights restored BEFORE they volunteered for service. Eventually most joined the service or were drafted. Those who still protested, were jailed.

The 100th Battalion which were made up of mostly Japanese Americans from Hawaii, were already being used in Europe and were joined by the Interned Japanese Americans in the 442th Battalion. Together, they are the most decorated Battalions ever. The members of the 442th helped liberate the Jewish people still alive in Dachau, the infamous Nazi Death Camp.

But this is about the camps. Life was going on. American citizens were still being held prisoners in camps. Some were allowed to leave, but with stipulations. You could either go to College, or have proof of a job, BUT, East of the Rocky Mountains. And with wartime prejudices, it was still difficult to get in a College or get a job. But some did get out. Even though families usually stuck together, who could blame anyone for leaving?

When the war ended, the Internment camps were eventually shut down. No one was allowed to stay, even if you wanted to. And in Wyoming, where Heart Mountain was, the Governor would not allow anyone to stay in the State, everyone had to leave.

Most all of the Camps were torn down right after the last person left. At Heart Mountain, each Barrack was put up for Auction to anyone living there, and willing to physically remove the buildings. People who purchased a Barrack used hand saws to cut them down to a size that they could haul away on a flat bed truck, and then reassemble them on their own property. I understand that some are still standing on farms all around the towns of Cody and Powell, Wyoming.

Continued............

Heart Mountain, Part One

2013-06-07T23:25:00.000-07:00

First let me say that I was not incarcerated in Heart Mountain Internment Camp, my father was, and he didn't speak much of his time there. In fact, I can't say he talked much about his life before he went there, or after he left. This was common amongst most who were incarcerated in a Camp.

I also don't want to make it sound worse than or equal to the Death Camps of the Nazis, or even the POW Camps that Japan had. I am just writing about what I understand happened to some American citizens after the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941.

Some prior history. Some farmers on the West Coast were being out-done by their Japanese counterparts. Eventually, they lobbied to pass laws outlawing Aliens, mainly Asian immigrants, from owning land and property and/or leasing land. When Japan attacked Pearl Harbor, and there was talk of removing the Japanese from the West Coast, some farmers lobbied extra hard to make it happen. Why? For the most part, they wanted their land. You see, back then, they didn't consider that the Japanese were better at farming, they believed their land was better for farming than the land they had for farming.

Another factor is that this period in time was just after the Great Depression was ending. People had worked hard for a long time for what little they had earned. Many people worked in manual labor jobs, earning little for food and/or rent. Owning anything meant you were successful in some ways.

Some things I will write about happened to other Japanese that were incarcerated, some to my father. And it is important to note, that there were 10 Internment Camps, and each person and each camp had different and similar experiences. In other words, what I write and books like Farewell to Manzanar are just some perspectives, not all.

Imagine now, you are 35 years old, an United States Citizen. Japan attacks Pearl Harbor.

If you teach Japanese language schools, are a Shinto or Buddhist priest, or others with like Japanese leadership roles, you are whisked away to jail. You have no contact with the outside world until the war is over. Eventually, only the Buddhist priests are released and sent to Internment camps.

Your home and the homes of other Japanese are searched with no warrants, by....... you don't know by who. You guess that they are FBI agents. If they find anything that makes you look suspicious, you are taken away to jail and interrogated. Maybe you are let go, maybe you end up with the priests.

You could be shunned by people who you once considered friends. Not all, just some. But you can't tell who is your real friend anymore.

Your assets are frozen, and you can't access your money. How do you buy food? Pay rent? You may have a business, but hardly anyone is buying from you anymore. You sell your belongings, but so do everyone else. You have going out of business sales. You end up getting pennies on the dollar for what you own.

The Government is talking about removing you from your home and putting you in special camps. Once you get the order to Evacuate, there is no one standing up for you. Today would be different, but here's no ACLU. No riots. Nothing. So you go quietly, or go to jail.

You pack your stuff, but they are allowing only what you can carry. And no radios, knives or cameras. Today, add no TV, cellphones, laptops or tablets, nothing that you can communicate with. Anything you own, you are selling or trying to get them in storage. But you have no money. The lucky have friends who say they will store things for them, or they are kept in the now empty Japanese churches and temples.

Do you have a pet? Sorry, no pets allowed. You have to give them away or something. Maybe your neighbor or friends will care for them.

You preliminarily get sent to Santa Anita where the horse stalls are white-washed in haphazard fashion, and you have to bunk there for a few days with thousands of others just like you. It stinks like horse crap.

Finally you are on a train to... where? They don't tell you. You'll find out when you get there.

You end up in Heart Mountain Camp. It's in Northern Wyoming. The middle of BFE. The camp is set up like a Military base camp. At first, the Governor of Wyoming did not want any Japanese in Wyoming. He was prejudiced. But he relented, and Heart Mountain with it's about 650 buildings, and holding anywhere between 9-12,000 people, was built in about 2 months.

You and your family are given a room in a barrack. Barracks are 20 feet by 120 feet, separated into 6 "rooms." 2 each are 20 X 16, 20 X 20, and 20 X 24.Each has a separate entrance.Each has one ceiling light, one electrical outlet, and one pot-bellied stove for heating, not cooking. There are twins sized cots in some rooms, some get theirs later and have to sleep on the floor until they do. If you want privacy, you try to hang "curtains" to separate the open-concept room.

Each barrack was made in a few hours with "new" wood. The wood was both the inside and outside. What? If the wood was for the roof, one side was the ceiling, one side was the roof. One side was the outside wall, the other was the inside wall. Get the picture? This "new" wood also shrank when it dried out, leaving gaps in between the planks. Most of the outside of the buildings were covered in tar-paper and roofing shingles. I do remember my father saying they had to cut cans up to make patches to nail and cover holes in the buildings.

In another separate barrack is the Mess hall, and when it it time to eat, you line-up and wait your turn. It's wartime, so food is rationed. You might get a bowl of tomatoes and rice as your meal for a few days. You eat cafeteria style with large tables and benches to sit on. At first, soldiers are the cooks and they are handing you your rations. Food is rationed in equal amounts no matter how old or "big" you were.

Bathroom and showers are in another separate barrack. the toilets are lined up with no partitions. You are now sitting next to someone else who is trying to do number 2, just like you, and the other guy, and the other guy, and the other guy.......

Heart Mountain was different in one respect. All of the other camps had two fences surrounding them. Heart Mountain only had one. If you tried to leave, you were shot. I don't know how many Japanese were shot in the other camps, but none were shot at Heart Mountain.

Continued.........

Just Driving By

2013-02-17T21:59:00.002-08:00

I haven't written in a while, most of what's been happening has been "normal." Nothing to write home about.

I like to tell you things that happen out of dumb luck. Maybe it's fate, I don't know. You can decide.

In the early morning of Jan 23rd, we were awakened from sleep at around 3:30 am. We went to a call for "Difficult Respiration." This required that both the Paramedic Ambulance I was working on, and a Fire Engine, to respond to assist the patient.

Sometimes I get asked why do you need the Fire Engine. Well, most Fire Departments across the country requires their Firefighters to be EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) trained. And on certain medical calls, 2 Paramedics are not enough personnel. For example, let's say you had a heart attack. Are 2 Paramedics enough? Well, it only takes 2 people to do CPR, right? Without going into more detail of why we need more people, think about this; If 2 Paramedics are doing CPR, who's going to drive you to the hospital? No one. You're gonna end up dying.

We get on scene and I go in first. I ask what's wrong, and the 35 yo woman tells me she has the flu. She is very hot with fever, and is coughing. As the Fire Engine crew comes in, I tell them she has the flu. Then I asked the woman if she could walk down her stairs to the gurney. She says that she's too weak. One of the Firefighter rolls his eyes because it's flu season, and he's been as sick as this woman for over a week. But, he doesn't say a word, and doesn't complain. He waits patiently while we get the stair chair from the ambulance and he helps carry her down the stairs.

We get her in the gurney and load her into the ambulance. Both of us, the ambulance and Fire Engine, leave at the same time. We go to the hospital down the street, they head back to the Fire Station. The driver (Engineer) of the Fire Engine works at another station and is taking a different route back, one that is not usual. The route passes by a Psychiatric Board and Care, and no one purposely drives by it, because it may "remind" one of the residents that they could "get out of jail free" if they call 911 and go to the hospital.

As they drive North on this Street, the Firefighter on the West side of the street notices what looks like a fire, one block West of where they were, near another Board and Care Apartment house. They were already wearing their Turnout pants, so they started putting on their Turnout coats They also started teasing the Firefighter, saying it was probably just a Christmas tree fire, and that it would be out by the time they got there. This time of year, people leave their dead and dried out Christmas trees outside by the curb, and with the light of a match, it can burn fast and be out in 2 -3 minutes.

They circle the block and see nothing on the East side front of the building. They turn right on the cross street, the building is on a corner, and see some light smoke in the rear of the building. They think it may be coming from the parking lot behind the building. As they get closer, it becomes more certain that the first floor, very rear apartment unit is on fire.

They stop, and it happens to be right in front of the side entrance. The Captain gets on the radio to inform our dispatch of the fire, and to ask for a Second Alarm assignment. NO ONE called 911. The Engineer gets out and goes to hook up to the fire hydrant about 100 feet away. The Firefighters completely suit up, set up a hose line and start cutting the security door to get inside. The noise of the rotary saw may have waken up the residents, because some of them from the second floor started to open their windows to see what was going on. When the residents realized there was a fire, they started climbing out of their windows to jump.

As one Firefighter was cutting the gate open, the other yelled at everyone not to jump, and got a ladder out. He helped one person down, and by then, the hose was ready to go, and the gate was cut open.

The Engineer helped some of the others down, but his main duty was to the Firefighters who were going inside to fight the fire. The Engineer's job is to provide the Firefighters with water at the right pressure, so he had to be at the control panel.

The crew went in and quickly put out the bulk of the fire in the rear unit. The rear unit was next to the stairwell going to the second floor, and it too started to catch fire. So they started to advance their line up the stairwell.

In the meantime, it was chaos outside. More units came on scene to assist the first Fire Crew. One Fire crew was directed to put up ladders to help what seemed to be the whole apartment house wanting to jump out of their second floor apartment.

As the first crew put out the stairwell fire, they ended up on the second floor hallway which seemed to have lit up as soon as they got up there. The first crew then continued their fire fight and put out the second floor hallway fire. While the bulk of the fire was out, it was still hot and very smokey inside.

At this time I had no idea what was going on, as I was at the hospital with the patient. As we were returning to our Fire Station, we were added as part of a third or maybe, fourth alarm.

While doing a search of the apartments, one Firefighter from the first crew came upon a man still in his bed, burned from heat and smoke inhalation. He took off his mask and put it over the man's face and others came to help him carry the man outside.

Another ambulance took him away to the hospital while we were tending to another patient who was already outside and had jumped from her second floor apartment. She had smoke inhalation and a severely broken leg.

After everything was over, we found out that the apartment was allegedly purposely set on fire by someone who allegedly had an argument with the man who was found in his bed.

The Fire Engine must have saw the initial set, and then fight the fire as the arsonist was lighting the rest of the building on fire. I bet the arsonist was incredulous, thinking, "How the heck did the Fire Dept get here so fast?"

Who knows how many people would have died or got injured at this fire if it had been burning for a while, AND THEN someone called 911. Who knows what would have happened during the extra time it would have taken for The Fire crew to wake up, go down to the Fire Engine, and then drive to the fire. This fire burned hot and fast due to it being arson and an accelerant was used. I'm sure there would have been more than one casualty.

God looks out for the unfortunate amongst us.

More Closure

2012-09-11T23:24:00.000-07:00

On my Blog post dated August 5, 2010, I wrote about doing CPR on a man who went into cardiac arrest on the field at Dodger Stadium. While doing CPR, a man in civilian clothes came to me and said, "I'm a LAFD Firefighter, can I take over compressions for you?"

I didn't know who he was, or where he worked, but as I thought about what I was doing and what still needed to be done, I let him take over the compressions.

He did a great job, and it freed me up to do more for the man, now that more medical equipment had been brought to me.

As everything happened so fast that day, with people coming and going, I never knew who that off-duty Firefighter was that helped me do CPR.

Randomly, I was telling the story about that day at my new Fire Station, and wouldn't you know it, that Firefighter was working there, and in the kitchen when I was telling the story.

He turned out to be a Captain II, and he's going to retire at the end of September. Small world, isn't it?

Numerology?

2012-06-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

Most Fire Departments divide their coverage areas in different ways. The LAFD does it in a common military way. We start with Divisions. In each Division, we have several Battalions. In each Battalion, we have several Fire Stations.

After my probationary period ended, I was assigned to Fire Station 6 in Battalion 11. Battalion 11 is also the general area in which I grew up. I was assigned to Fire station 6, then 29, then 11, then 13, and finally at my current assignment, Fire Station 20. Other than a total of about 27 months here and there, all of my time on the Department was in Battalion 11.

Today was my last day in Battalion 11. I finally got a transfer out. If you've read my Blog, I wrote that my mother was bedridden and I took care of her. Working near her house and within the coverage boundaries of Fire Station 20 made it easier for me to care for her.

After she passed away this year, I decided to move on. This Battalion is busy, and I'm getting older. It's getting harder and harder to recover from all the calls we get at night. So I believe I chose a Station where I will not get beat up too much.

This past year, 2 other long time members of Fire Station 20 also left. One due to his retirement, and the other due to budget cuts. Each of them signed their names on the underside of the dining bench with the time they got there, to the day they left.

I had to check on the date I got there. January 13, 2002. Funny how numbers pop up in your life. My mother passed away on January 13, 2012, 10 years later.

Closure

2012-06-14T23:11:00.001-07:00

On my Blog post dated November 22, 2009, I wrote about how a young girl died when she lost control of her car and crashed. There was one passenger in the car, and we never knew what became of her, whether she lived or died. She was conscious and talking, but you never know what happens after they go to the hospital.

Today must have been the driver's birthday or some other special day. Her cousin, family and or friends came by and had a candlelight vigil for her. I went over and told them that we were the ones who were first on scene and tried to save the people in the car. They asked me several questions about how she was when we found her. I told them that she looked peaceful, not in pain or shock, that she looked like she was sleeping with her eyes open. One of them said she often slept with her eyes open.

I also told them that she probably died right then and did not suffer. They seemed relieved. I was told that her friend made it, though I did not ask her condition, if she had any on going physical issues or not. Her cousin cried while I spoke to her, and said this was the first time she has met anyone who was a first responder. I gave her a hug.

I think she felt some closure. In some ways, I did too.

Friday the 13th

2012-01-15T00:12:00.000-08:00

Friday, January 13th, 2012, my Dear 85 year old Mother passed away at around 6 pm PST. She was a sweet and simple person, who did not deserve the hard life that she lived.

Born in Japan, and living in a suburb of Hiroshima, she witnessed the devastation of an Atomic bomb. After the war, she married my father in an arranged marriage, and came to the United States, where she worked at my father's grocery store.

She loved and admired my father and had 5 children whom she adored.

She had been bedridden for the past 15 years. She still had her mind, but her body was not cooperating. Yet it didn't seem to affect her outlook on life. There is a term in Japanese, "shoganai." It basically means "Oh well, that's the way it is."

3 years ago almost to the day, she suffered the first of two distinct strokes. The first one left her without speech and movement on her right side. But she still had her mind. Though she could no longer verbally communicate with us, we knew that she comprehended what was going on. When we told her that she would be going home after a long stay in convalescent care, she cried tears of happiness. During summer, when figs were in season, she seemed to relish the taste of her favorite fruit.

She seem to keep waiting for the day when she would wake up and be able to function again. It did not happen.

About 2 years ago, she had her second distinct stroke. Now she was left unable to move, and we were no longer able to discern whether or not she could see and/or hear. There seemed to be times when she could, and times when I wondered if she was aware of anything. This past fig season, she did not seem to realize that she was eating her favorite fruit.

Four days prior to her death, she seem to have a complete change in her health. She was "normal" in the morning, and by evening, she was ill. In the hospital, she was found to have pneumonia and a small heart attack. For a day or two, she seemed to stabilize. On the third night, it seemed to me that she was not getting better, but she also was not getting worse. By the fourth night, she slipped away.

As a believer in God, I believe that she is in a better place, that her soul is free from the confines of her physical being.

Yet this comfort barely eases my own selfish pain. Although I had thought that she, in essence, had already died, it is still painful to lose her. It has been a very long time since she has had the ability to do anything, and I imagine her now frolicking in fields. I think about the time she walked me to my very first day of school. And I think of the time I didn't want to go to school and she tried her darnedest to wake me. I faked that I was asleep, so she gave up and kissed me on the cheek and left.

So while she laid in the hospital bed, no longer able to wake, I stroked her hair for the last time, told her I was leaving, and kissed her on her cheek and left.

Peacefully at sleep now, I pray that you wake in Heaven and are free of all burdens.

Person Down!

2011-12-15T20:03:00.000-08:00

When you call 911, the call is put into a category depending on what you tell the dispatcher over the phone. This is a nationally used protocol, created to bring a uniform standard to 911 dispatching. If the protocol is being used by the center you call, you will get questions asked to you in a way that will best extract the most pertinent information in a timely manner. That way, the proper services and amount of rescuers are sent to your emergency call.

This is because, unless a dispatcher can actually see what is going on and why you are calling, he is blind and at your mercy to relay what is really going on.

911 calls are made all the time for any reason. But for this post, I will focus on a "Person down." This is different from a "Fall," which is when the caller states the patient was actually seen, heard or told of falling down. A "Person down" is just that, someone on the ground for no reason, or no witnessed reason.

Most of the time in the area where I work, it is for a homeless person sleeping on the sidewalk, or a drunk person that has passed out and/or is sleeping too.

Oddly, when someone has a seizure, heart attack, or drug overdose,they are usually with someone and/or it is witnessed, and the 911 call comes in as something other than "Person down." Even a suicide or someone who had died on the street comes out as a "DOA." A "Person down" seems to be always someone who is sleeping or drunk.

Many times, it ends up being a false alarm. The caller is sometimes driving in their car and sees someone on the sidewalk and decides to call. A man was kneeling down on his front lawn doing some gardening, and a driver mistook him as being unconscious and on the ground. Silly good Samaritan...... Other times it's someone who is walking by, or lives/works nearby and sees something "wrong." I came on scene to find a man laying on the sidewalk, with the 911 caller standing right next to him. I asked, "What's wrong?" The caller said, "I think he's dead." I looked down at the man, and shouted, "Hello! Are you okay?" The man on the sidewalk said, "Leave me alone, I'm sleeping."

Yes, many times, good Samaritans just call 911 without trying to investigate why they are calling. I guess there's a point where they care, but not that much. Like the many drivers who call 911, but won't circle the block to find out if they are calling for a legitimate reason, and just keep driving on their merry way.

So far, knock on wood, my "Person Downs" have not had any emergency needing special attention. Most are people who are trying to sleep. Some are too drunk to be left on their own, and are carted off to the hospital. Some are homeless and feign illness because they know it means a warm bed and something to eat, even though it will take up a bed in the Emergency room.

Today's call was different. "Person down, behind the library." We respond lights and sirens through heavy traffic, and finally get to our destination and head for the back of the library. We didn't find anyone. We looked all over, then walked down some steps to an alley. We looked around, nothing..... Then someone pointed to a place that was behind us, and said "He's up there." We looked up a different flight of stairs and saw a bundled blanket in the library's back doorway.

We asked the pointer, "Did you call 911?" He answered, "Yes, I called." We asked, "What happened, why did you call?" The pointer answered, "No movement." By then we were getting nearer to the person who hasn't moved for I don't know how long, but long enough for the caller to be worried. As we got closer, I thought, "We passed this alley to get to the back of the library, why didn't the 911 caller flag us down and tell us to go down this alley instead?" We would have gotten to the patient a little bit sooner, and it would have been much easier to get this person in distress into the ambulance to be quickly whisked away to the hospital.

Were we too late? Could this person who hasn't moved be saved? We wondered as we got closer..... we shouted "Are you okay? Are you okay? No movement........ none at all. We got closer...... We shook the blanket. No movement. We slowly uncovered the blanket....... and found.........
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No one. There was no one under the blanket. Surprised? *rolls eyes*

The Wizard

2011-09-26T19:41:00.000-07:00

Everyone is well aware of the Coke vs Pepsi, Cola wars. Each one spends millions to get you to drink their cola. Each one tells you how great they taste and how much better they are than the other. I bet you even have your own favorite brand.

But just for a minute, think about this. What if both brands were owned by the same person? That means of course, no matter which one you buy, one person makes money off you. But why would one person do this? Why wouldn't they just market both flavors under one label?

Loyalty. You get the people all riled up to pick a side, and they get in a frenzy. Mob mentality takes over. You are no one unless you drink what "I" drink. And with only two to pick from, all those other independents fall by the wayside. Remember Royal Crown (RC) Cola? It was at one time, a viable third candidate. But now, you can't find it in a store.

So why am I telling you this? I have a sneaking suspicion, and one day it may be revealed, that there really isn't two political parties. Both are working together for one thing, and it's not to make good government. It's to get your money into their pockets.

Made for Women

2011-09-15T16:22:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard the old saying, "Work smart, not hard?" It just means that if you take the time to think things out, you won't have to work as hard to accomplish a goal. You can also use a machine to do things for you, instead of doing it manually, so that it will be faster and easier.

Machines do make our lives easier. Many mundane chores are now being done by a machine. Not being sexist, but most of the time, these jobs were at one time, done by women. Cooking, cleaning, whatever. Think of all the appliances that are available today, and you will see that most of them help women NOT do a job they once did.

Here are some examples of inventions made for women.

Stove and oven, women don't have to gather wood and start a fire anymore.
Washing machine, women don't have to drag clothes to the river and hit them with rocks.
Dryer, women don't have to hang clothes and wait for them to dry.
Vacuum cleaner, women don't have to endlessly sweep and dust all day.
Can opener, women don't have to use their hands. Heck, food comes in pouches now.
Microwave, women don't have to slave over the now obsolete stove and oven.
Computer, women don't have to go out on dates anymore, they can just as easily reject you while sitting comfortably at home in their jammies.
Even the Television. What? The television?

Yes, now that women have more time on their hands because they don't have to do any manual labor, they need something to keep them occupied, so Television and Soap Operas were invented. And you thought it was made for men to watch sports. *shakes head*

Yes there are many appliances that have made life easier for women. What's next, you ask? Well, I was at the Pharmacy today, and I saw a breast pump for sale......... Now women are trying to replace what men are supposed to do......

Lessons Learned?

2011-09-11T10:56:00.000-07:00

September 11, 2001, the day the USA changed.

I remember where I was and what I was doing 10 years ago. I was at home and asleep, awakened by a friend who told me to turn on the TV. At first I was grumpy from having been disturbed from much needed rest, after being relentlessly tired from working at one of the busiest Paramedic ambulances in LA City. But then, like being slapped in the face, I was shocked wide awake, to see what was happening in New York. I watched as the second plane hit the 2nd tower, and at no time did I ever think anything but terrorist attack. In the beginning, there was speculation as to what was happening, thinking only a small plane had tragically hit the first tower. But I came in late, and immediately saw things as everyone else was now coming to grips to. This was no accident.

Then the reports of the Pentagon being hit, and possibly more planes unaccounted for. To be honest, I was never in fear of an attack here in Los Angeles. I don't know why, I guess I felt like they were targeting the East Coast and Government buildings. Later, we did find out that many places were targeted, with Los Angeles being listed. Though the world was now on alert, I don't remember being called in to staff any extra resources. There may have been some, but I just don't recall any right now. Some Firefighters spent their vacations in New York, working for free on their Fire Engines, while the NY firefighters worked to find survivors in the rubble of the World trade Centers.

From my perspective as a Firefighter, we changed in many ways. Our tactics changed. Our state of alertness changed.

But what is more important is how we changed as people after that day. We were one. We were no longer LAFD or LACountyFD or FDNY. We were Firefighters. We were First Responders. We were Brothers and Sisters. Yes, there were Fire Dept rivalries. Just like USC vs UCLA, people had their pride, sometimes misplaced, sometimes foolish.

As we find out more and more about the tragedy of 9/11, we also find out more about the acts of complete strangers helping out complete strangers. Not just people involved with Public Safety, but just your normal everyday person, who also risked their lives to help others. People with no training, or knowledge of the dangers facing them, who only had one thing on their mind. To help another person live.

We also saw that, how in most "doomsday" predictions, people are "predicted" to turn on each other, killing each other for their money, possessions, food, water, you name it. People are supposed to think only of themselves and throw you over the cliff so that they could live. But it didn't happen. People heard cries for help and helped. Groups that left as a team, found their way out as a team.

I guess this is how it is when the perceived "enemy" is from the outside.

Unfortunately, we seem to be divided again. I guess we didn't learn from the selfless acts of strangers that day, that gave for the greater good. "We" are back to "me, myself, and I." I guess this is how it is when the perceived "enemy" is on the inside. Liberal/Conservative. Republican/Democrat. Fox/CNN.

In the end, we are all just people who want the same thing. Food, shelter, and safety. Together, we can achieve this. Divided, we fail. Now go ahead and blame the other guy for it being this way.

Women - A Foreign Language

2011-08-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

Before you read this, you have to read this about how women say one thing, and mean another. http://blogs.laweekly.com/afterdark/2011/08/16_things_women_say_that_men_m.php

Though I'm not disagreeing with this article, I have never heard any woman say #7, or heard of any man who complained that she said it. I do agree that most women say one thing and mean another. I just don't agree on what men and women have been trying to accomplish, since these types of articles have been written.

Think about it. When you look at something, first you look back to when things were different. Then you think about when things started to change, and then that's when you put two and two together to get five.

In the old days, before there were articles like this, men were men and women were women. There was still miscommunication, but whenever there was a relationship, it was "till death do you part." Men and women stayed married and celebrated decades of marriage together.

But now, with these "guides" to how women think, men have tried to turn into Sherlock Holmes, deciphering what women are really trying to say. And what are the results? Divorces, people having trouble finding someone, the explosion of dating sites, and even stalking. Yes, there are more cases of stalking now because men are trying to decipher what you say.

Oh no, she couldn't have meant leave her alone, when she said, "Leave me alone." And she really didn't mean for me to stay the fuck away from her when she said, "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!"

Women, hahaha, they're so funny that way.

Anyway, now that I just spent 6 months in jail for stalking, I've had a lot of time to think about this. Where did men go wrong? Well, the answer is simple. Men thought they were at fault, and tried to better themselves by trying to be a better listener, and therefore be a better partner to a woman. Men tried to be more sensitive. Tsk tsk, what a mistake.

In reality, women are at fault here. Women are the ones who say things that they don't really mean, not men. Yes it IS your fault. For men and women to start being better communicators with each other, WOMEN have to start saying what they mean.

When you go to McDonald's and want a Quarter Pounder with cheese, you don't ask for a Filet 'o Fish, and if you do and end up with a Filet 'o Fish, you better not complain. Now maybe you could get away with asking for a "Royale with cheese" instead of a Quarter Pounder with cheese, and still get a Quarter Pounder with cheese, but you can't ask for a Filet 'o Fish.

But there is more to this story than meets the eye. You see, if women say one thing and mean another, they they could also possibly interpret things in a way only they can understand.

For example, when men say "I'm hungry," men mean, "I'm hungry." It doesn't mean, "OMG! I'm stressed out from my job because that bitch that I work with is always trying to make me look bad, and always talking about me behind my back, and trying to get the promotion that I deserve, that BITCH!"

But, women aren't totally alone here. Sometimes there is a little more to what men say, but it's just not as bad as what you are thinking. So, here are a few things that men say, that mean a little more than what they are saying, but is still misinterpreted by women.

When men say, "Let's have lunch." Women, you should not think, "OMG! I know what he really wants. He's making reservations at a cheap Motel, there is NO WAY I'm having sex with him." What men really means is, "Let's have lunch, I'm hungry and don't like eating alone."

When men say, "Let's have dinner." Women, you should not think, "OMG! He wants to eventually marry me and is making reservations at a Hotel, there is NO WAY I'm having sex with him." What men really means is, "Let's have dinner, I'm hungry and don't like eating alone, and I'll pay."

When men say, "Let's have sex." Women, you should not think, "OMG! He's so funny! He sure is confident. Wow, that is so sexy. I want him. I really, really want him. Right now. In fact right here in front of everyone in this bar, because I've had a few too many and I'm horny and uninhibited. I can't help myself, I'm gonna leave with him right now and attack him in his car in the parking lot. Oh gosh, I am soooo hot right now..... What men really mean is, "I'm horny, I won't remember your name tomorrow, don't expect me to call you, ever."

Not so hard, is it?

The Pina Colada Song

2011-08-11T22:24:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny how people get the wrong impressions from songs? Springsteen's "Born in the USA," was mistaken as a patriotic song. But it was more about what was wrong with the USA at the time, than how great a Country we were.

Just like most people think the Pina Colada song is romantic, yet, not really. Yeah, you all know that song..... "If you like Pina Coladas......."

Think about it for a minute. In real life, this is how the song would end.....

You?
You? Why are you writing personal ads?!?!
Why are you ANSWERING personal ads?
You don't drink pina coladas! And you can't stand getting wet in the rain!
Well, I don't like yoga and YOU don't have half a brain!
Well you can't make love at midnight, you're always asleep by 10!
*SPLASH!* Here's your taste of champagne! Now go and escape!

Am I right?

Los Angeles Parking Violations, Parking Tickets

2011-08-08T22:36:00.000-07:00

If you received a Parking Ticket in the City of Los Angeles, with only the envelope on your windshield, no ticket inside, then had to pay the fine and late fees, leave a comment.

Thanks.

Limitations

2011-07-13T09:33:00.001-07:00

As Dirty Harry once said, "A man's gotta know his limitations." This is all relative of course. You never know something, unless you try it. And trying something new or different for the first time usually doesn't disappoint.

But, I'm not writing about things like that. It's more like trying to be a Major League Pitcher when you can't throw the ball over home plate. No, that's not me, it's an example. Some things you are just naturally good at, some things you are not.

Well before my "Reflections" post, I have been reflecting on my life. All aspects, home, family, work, friends, God, you name it, I've been thinking about it. You might have noticed that theme in my blog.

I have known for a long time, that I am not especially good at one thing. I fail miserably all the time. But I kept trying, though admittedly, with much skepticism and being overly cautious when I did, which is probably also why I failed.

For the past 5 years, ever since I became an online personality, I have yearned for a more "normal" life. One that has normal hours of work, and to get more time for myself. But when I tried to change these things, I have run into road blocks.

Wanting this change, I had been neglecting the life I am good at. I have spent less time keeping up with my duties and relationships at work. You see, being a Firefighter is not just a job. It's a different kind of life. I'm beginning to think that wanting a change is not what's in my best interest. I'm starting to believe that, at this point in my life, I should just stick with what I know and do best.

I may even give up my online personality, which is kind of the root cause of my straying from what I was doing. Seeing people do regular things and have a regular life, have made me envious of that life. But that isn't my life. Mine is different, and I have to realize that it is, and accept it again.

I have met some great "friends" online. People that I would never had met or come across in real life. And I would miss them if I left this online world. But there are real people, and there are internet people. Real people are people that you do see, meet, or come across and interact with through work or play. Internet people are just the ones you "see" online, people you may not have even met in person.

I don't think that's healthy. Interacting with real people is not the same as interacting with them online. And many experts agree. They believe that the next generation will have a difficult time having normal interactions with each other. Have you seen people having dinner together, both on their smartphones texting away? How is that normal? It's not. I just hope they are not texting each other, that would be the worst.

Anyway, I am still reflecting on things. Maybe I just need more time to figure it all out. But I do know what I'm good at. At least I can fall back on that.

Besides, most of the time, people are always trying to be/do something that they're not. Whether due to peer pressure or just trying to fit in. It's better to just be yourself, and let people love you for who you are. That's what works for me, as most of the time, I rarely did things because "everyone was doing it." I have to do things my own way. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Divine Intervention?

2011-07-08T23:20:00.000-07:00

It would take a long time to explain how I feel about this, explaining how I got to this point, but to make it short, I do believe my life is being guided in some ways.

And sometimes specifically. For example, I wanted to become a Firefighter. Back when I started looking for a job as a Firefighter, it was difficult to get a job as one. Thousands would compete for Firefighter jobs. Depending on the City that was hiring, it could have meant 1 open position or 50 positions. I went everywhere there was a job announcement, from Santa Rosa to San Diego, and even Tuscon, Arizona. I passed most of the tests and even had interviews, but I didn't get hired by anyone except Los Angeles and Monterey Park.

When you want to be a Firefighter, you practice doing mock interviews with common questions given during interviews. Most questions are designed to test your honesty, integrity, and decision making skills. One common question has to do with witnessing a Firefighter possibly stealing something of value from a home that was on fire. You are supposed to answer that in two ways. First, you tell the interviewer that the Firefighter may not have the intent to steal these valuable items, but to collect them and to give them to the owners when he got outside. Second, you are to make sure that you report this incident to superiors to let them be aware of the situation, and that if there was any crime involved, you would not condone it.

I was asked this question with the City of San Diego, and I answered this question wrong and knew it. I tried to justify the answer instead of just saying I made a mistake, and I kept digging myself into a deeper and deeper hole. And I knew it. I was even given a chance to possibly fix this when they asked me if there was anything else I'd like to say. I didn't say anything. This totally blew my chance of being hired as a Firefighter for the City of San Diego.

So why did I blow it? I knew how to answer that question, yet, I didn't. I can only say that maybe it wasn't my destiny to work for the City of San Diego. When I got interviewed for the City of Los Angeles, I passed with flying colors. Yet there was a hiring freeze. I eventually did get hired by Los Angeles, and also got a call from Monterey Park.

So I can conclude that not only was I to become a Firefighter, but a Firefighter for the City of Los Angeles, not anywhere else. And it did feel "right." From training through probation, I did well, and was well liked. I was never given a bad evaluation.

Same with me becoming Paramedic trained. I wasn't taken in the first year I volunteered, but they did take me the next year when they had a new "On Duty" school schedule. I believe this schedule helped me pass Paramedic school, as the other way of "leaving" the Fire Dept for a short time and taking classes 5 days a week would have been a burden on my home life, and I would not have had time to study much.

Back then, the LAFD had a shortage of Paramedics which is why I volunteered to become one, and they were being overworked. When I became a Paramedic I was working on one of the busiest assignments in the City. Eventually I became weary of working as a Paramedic. I transferred to a "slower" spot, but it was still busy enough to keep wearing me down.

I decided I needed a break, and work at a "desk job" with regular 9-5 hours within the LAFD. So I looked for an administrative position at our training center. I found one, but it required certain certifications. I had to take and pass a 40 hour class. I did, paid for it on my own, and attended on my own time. Then I was asked to take one more class so that I could be certified in another section of the same unit. This time, the Fire Dept paid for the class, but I went on my own time.

When I was done, I was going to get transferred within a couple of weeks. Then another Firefighter got injured, and was placed in the position that I wanted. That's what we do with injured personnel, give them "desk jobs" until they heal. Then the budget cuts hit, and they streamlined that unit and when the injured Firefighter got better, they cut his position, and there were no more openings for me.

I did find another open position in another training unit, and I thought I was a shoe-in, as I knew both supervisors in charge of the unit. I ended up number 3 out of 3 with only 1 open position. It all worked out though, as budget cuts also cut the positions in that unit. I would have had to look for another position.

It wasn't meant to be, I was meant to stay out in the field as a Paramedic Firefighter. I even tried to transfer out of the Station I am currently at, to a "slower" Station. But that too did not happen. This is really not common, you can usually find administrative positions, or get another spot at another station. Is it Divine intervention or bad luck? I know what it is. The troubling part is, that I don't know why. Or maybe I do, and that's what troubles me.

Uncharted Territories

2011-06-20T17:33:00.000-07:00

Changes are coming to the Los Angeles Fire Department in July 2011. Budget cuts have forced the Fire Chief to shut down several Fire Companies and this has caused great concern amongst Firefighters. There will be less Firefighters on duty everyday, meaning there will be less coverage for all types of emergencies.

There will be domino effects when one Company is helping someone in their district, and another emergency will have to be covered by another Company from another district farther away, thus creating gaps in coverage. If you could schedule emergencies, this would not happen, but we all know that anything happens at anytime.

Besides the inherent dangers to the public, there will also be dangers to Firefighters. When I taught fire safety to Elementary school children, one line we used was, "Big fires start small." When a fire starts, the more units you send to fight it and prevent it from getting bigger, the faster it is put out. With less companies, that means the potential for more danger is there.

Personally, it also means changes to life at affected Fire Stations. I myself, am working at the Fire Station that serves the area where I grew up. Yes, I work and serve in my hometown neighborhood. I thought it would be the last place that I would work, and that I would retire from here. But I don't like the changes that are coming, so I put in transfers to other Stations. Others felt the same and have already left. This is happening throughout the whole LAFD.

For the past few years, I thought my future was planned out. Now this, along with other recent disappointments, have caused me to question what the future has in store for me. Things that I know, keep me sane. Things that I'm unsure of, makes me think too much. Thinking too much makes you second guess yourself.

I guess I'm not patient enough. Getting older may be making me desperate, as if I am running out of time. I should have more faith in what fate has in store for me, as it really hasn't let me down so far. Still, this not knowing is really getting to me. Transfers come out Wednesday......

Reflections

2011-05-31T09:30:00.000-07:00

It seems that life is about many things, but mostly it is about changes and changing. Life throws curves at you and you have to adapt your life to fit what comes. Due to some of those curves, I did things differently than the norm, and I took the road less traveled.

In the three phases of school, I seem to change and develop in different ways. In Elementary school, I was the skinny, quiet, timid, non-athletic kid. But even though I was timid, I still was one to jump in between two friends who were fighting, to stop them. I think most of my friends will say my best trait was that I was friendly. I was one of those, “last person to be picked onto teams” type. Because of that, I got C’s or D’s in Physical Education. It had nothing to do with how well I performed in games, but how much I participated. This grade also lowered my average and kept me out of the “Gifted” program, so I was not given a chance to get in advanced programs.

Junior High was a new experience, a different way of learning, and meeting new people. I felt awkward. Still, I adapted and made new friends, some that I still see to this day. This is where I started trying to be more athletic than academic. I guess I felt that that was where I was lacking, and wanted to develop more. I let my academic side lapse and I lost interest in some subjects like English and History. Math and Sciences were the only subjects that kept my interest. Yet I was still not very good at sports. But I tried. Trying is better than not trying at all. You can’t win the Lottery unless you buy a ticket. This was also when I learned how to play the French Horn, and played in both a Marching Band and the School’s Orchestra. I heard I was good at it, but no one told me that at the time. It seems I rarely got encouragement from anyone. I just did what I did, and I only heard about things if I did wrong.

In High school, I became rebellious. I wanted to do my own thing and I didn’t really want to be there. Being in the LAUSD system, I seemed to recognize that in most classes, you were just there to be baby-sat. Learning seemed to be secondary, unless you were in advanced classes. Though I was in some advanced classes, I only tried to do well in Math and Sciences. I dropped out of High School during my Senior year. Yeah, that’s right, I was a juvenile delinquent. I took and passed the GED test, and didn’t look back. That was the second best thing I did in High School. The best thing I did in High School, was to try out for the “B” Football team. I never played in a game, but I was a part of every practice, and did everything that they made us do. I wasn’t the strongest or the fastest, but I wasn’t the weakest or the slowest. This is where I got a little tougher both mentally and physically. I was pushed to where I didn’t know I could go before, and I took a lot of punishment.

After dropping out, I should have continued my education at a Community college, but I didn’t. That would have been the smart thing to do. Instead, I went to work. My best friend’s mother had a boyfriend who was a plumber. We both worked for him and learned a trade. We did new and remodel plumbing, and I got to see how homes were built. I watched and learned.

During this time, my friend found out that the LA City Fire Department was recruiting minorities. This is when I first got the idea to become a Firefighter. Most of my friends will say they saw a light in my eyes early on, when I watched the LAFD in action. I took the written test and passed. I did not continue on because I knew that the job required a lot of physical strength, and I felt I was lacking. So I set out to get in better shape. When my father learned of my desire to become a Firefighter, he told my mother he thought it was too dangerous for me. Still, I think he would have been proud of me upon my graduation from the Fire Academy at 31 years old. Remember that number.

When I was 25 years old, my father died from throat cancer. I can still hear him tell my sister, "Don't worry, I'll be alright." Then my sister calling me, saying, "Daddy's dead!" I ran to his room and it was the first time I did CPR. His death hit me hard. All the guilt from arguing with him when I was rebellious, haunted me. I learned that being “right” is not as important as you think it is, and some things, a lot of things in fact are not worth arguing about. His death changed me in many ways. I grew up right then.

I got out of my then dead-end job, and found another that allowed time to go back to school. I started taking Fire Science classes from East Los Angeles College at night and got my EMT license. I also took some regular classes during the day, Chemistry, Algebra, some others….. and I got all A’s. I even made the Dean’s list. Damn. I think I still have that certificate somewhere. I didn’t get a degree though.

I tested for many Fire Departments, from Santa Rosa, California to San Diego. At my last interview with LA City, they had announced a City-wide hiring freeze. Things looked dim, but I had a good attitude, I wasn’t afraid. I knew I would get hired, but it had to happen at the right time. I just needed to be patient.

The 1992 Riots happened and the hiring freeze ended. Back then, there was an age limit, 31 years old. Remember I told you to remember that number? I just made it. I was in the first class of Firefighters to get hired in over 2 years. I did well during my probation, though there were some hiccups. I did get hired at the right time as everything seem to fall in place, and I had the best ”teachers” from the Training Academy and all through my Field assignments. Little did I know that all those things I learned early on would help me become a Firefighter, even stuff I learned as a Boy Scout. I earned a good reputation as a Firefighter, and after 5 years as one, I signed up to become a Paramedic. That is my main duty for the LAFD now, but I am both a Firefighter and Paramedic.

I never got married or had children. Not that I didn’t want to, but it just never happened. I still wonder if it will happen. My father got married in his 50’s, but I saw how hard it was for him and I don’t know if I want that for me. But, if it’s right, then it will happen, as things seem to happen to me when it’s the right time. Yes, I feel like I’m blessed. “And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me, shine until tomorrow, let it be……” Oh sorry…….

180 days. I wrote that on my Facebook page. I didn’t say what it was about, though some guessed that my birthday was in 180 days. Though that was true, it was not exactly what I had in mind. 180 days meant a countdown to my birthday, the day I turn 50. So here I am, near the end of my second 25 years of life, and reflecting on it, 152 days left as of this writing. I had been reflecting on my life since the year started, and decided I needed to do some things differently, and to make some changes before I was 50. No, I won’t change like flipping a light switch, but I hope to evolve and improve.

My first 25 years was about learning about life, developing mentally and physically, gaining skills, and rebelling. Those were the best years when I had the most fun. I learned many things from many people. My father taught me to work hard, and instilled in me my moral values. He also taught me how to drive a stick at 12-13 years old. My mother taught me devotion and perseverance. From my friends, I learned about life, loyalty, mischief making, and “ragging” on each other. Work and hobby experiences gave me some skills in automotive mechanics, plumbing, electrical, and construction work.

My second 25 years was about education, career, priorities, and responsibility. I started looking at the “big picture.” I no longer just lived for today, I also lived for tomorrow. These are the years that were most fulfilling. I feel I helped so many people during this time. I definitely feel that I was a late-bloomer, and I blossomed between the ages of 25-40. Do real men blossom? I don’t think so, but real men don’t care what you think.

My third 25 years should be about something else. I don’t know what it will be, but I know what I want it to be. Sometimes your future is in your hands, sometimes it depends on other things that happen or don’t happen. Sometimes your life has already been planned for you, and you just don’t know it until after it happens.

Life is a mystery; I’ll tell you how this third 25 year mystery ends, 25 years from now. I hope this mystery has a happy ending, and not “the butler did it” kind of ending. Then I’ll write about my fourth and final 25 years. Yes, I plan to live a long and happy rest of my life. Will you be there with me?

Parking Tickets

2011-05-20T21:07:00.000-07:00

About a year ago, my co-worker received a parking ticket from the City of Los Angeles. Or at least, he thought he did. There was a red parking ticket envelope under the windshield wiper of his truck, but nothing was inside, it was just an envelope.

Later on, he called the agency in charge, and they told him they could not verify or deny that he had received a parking ticket. They said it was possible that it was not "put into the system" just yet.

Eventually he forgot about it, until he received a "Notice of Delinquent Parking Violation" letter from the Parking Violations Bureau. Not only did he owe a fine for the ticket that he did not receive, he was now responsible for a "Late Fee."

After calling the Parking Violations Bureau, he was given no sympathy and told right then that he had to pay, or face more fines. He decided it was not worth the fight and paid the total fine of over $100.

Recently, I also received a parking ticket, but my circumstances were different. I parked in a "Yellow Loading Only" zone, and went into the store right in front of the space. I was not in the store for 2 minutes when I saw the Parking Enforcement Officer writing a ticket for my car. Being more "in-the-know" about where a person can park legally than most, I decided that I would just let it go, and fight this ticket in Court.

You see, once an Officer starts writing a ticket, it is too late to do anything about it, and it must go through it's paces before it can be dismissed.

However, the business owner was not happy. It's bad enough that the Economy has hit all businesses hard, he did not want his customers to be deterred from shopping in the area by being in fear of getting a parking ticket.

The business owner went outside and told the Officer that I should not get a ticket. The officer explained, rightly, that I did not have Commercial license plates, so I was not legally parked in the Yellow zone.

The business owner reminded the Officer that everyone has 5 minutes to park in a Yellow zone. The Officer agreed, but stated that I was parked there for more than 5 minutes.

The Officer was told again, that I just entered the store, placed my order, and was paying for my goods when I noticed I was getting a ticket, so it was less than 5 minutes.

The Officer left the scene, and the business owner came back into the shop looking disgusted. I told the business owner that it would be okay, and that I would fight the ticket. When I went to my car, I did not find a ticket. The Officer had left without leaving one. The business owner was relieved, and I thanked him for saving me from getting a ticket and the hassle of fighting the ticket.

I received a "Notice of Delinquent Parking Violation" letter from the Parking Violations Bureau on the very day my fine was due, Thursday, May 12. It was too late to do anything about it, and I worked the next day, Friday. I was off on Monday the 16th and went to protest this ticket. I was told to fill out a protest form, and wait for a reply in 10-14 days.

Just 4 days later, my protest was denied. They stated that I waited too long to fight the ticket, and forfeited all of my rights to fight the ticket.

I was now responsible to pay the fine plus the late fee.

Oh, I'm going to fight this one for sure. I may not win, but I sure will make them work for it.

Love Affairs - My Weakness

2011-05-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

I've been in love on different levels, from infatuation to head-over-heels in love, many times in my life. But it would never work out. For one reason or another my love would disappoint me, and I would have to find a replacement. If it wasn't for this, I think I would have much more money than I have now. Being in love costs a lot of money, especially when you get a new love. When you get a new love, it starts out very expensive. But when you decide it's not working out, it depreciates so much, that you never recover what you invested.

Yes, I've owned so many cars and trucks, I could have started a used car lot. And each one I bought brand new, I rarely kept for more than 2 years. There was always something "wrong" with it.

As I wrote in a recent post, I had a 4 wheel drive truck that was hit by another truck and totaled. I loved that truck, but it got terrible gas mileage. 10 miles to the gallon. With gas costing over $4.00 per gallon now, it would have cost me $400 per month to fill up my tank. That's a car payment!

And I wrote in that same post, that I test drove a Prius, and it just did nothing for me. It had almost no personality. The only thing it had going for it was great gas mileage. At 50 mpg, it would only cost me $80 per month for gasoline. I said it was not for me, and I was not going to buy a Prius.

I bought a Prius. And just in time too. It was before the Earthquake and resulting Tsunami in Japan, which caused a shortage of some cars and car parts from Japan. And it was also before gas prices sky-rocketed to over $4.00 per gallon. I got a great price on the car, and in total, the monthly payments for the Prius plus the monthly cost of gas for the Prius, is about the same monthly cost for gasoline for my truck.

This economic situation has also raised the value of my car. This is a first for me. None of my cars were ever worth more money than I put into it. Oh, I've had my chances, especially if I kept a couple of my cars for a few years longer than I did. Yes, that 1966 Mustang Fastback would be worth at least 5 times what I paid for it, if I sold it today.

So, although my Prius is not sporty, luxurious, manly, or tough, I think I'll have her for a long time. It isn't flashy, pretentious, loud, or needy. Who would have thought that the humble, indistinct, modest, inconspicuous, and dependable one is the right one for me.

Still, I do feel it's missing something.

There's a lesson in here somewhere.......

Anti-Social Network Break

2011-05-13T13:17:00.000-07:00

If you've read my earlier Blog posts, you know that my first Social network experience was with Yelp. I was Goggling for a restaurant, and came across Yelp. Being bored, I really got into it, and started participating in the "Talk" section. Because of my irreverent humor, be it witty, sarcastic, obnoxious, or down right not funny, people liked me. It wasn't until some stalking issues came up that I decided that enough was enough, so I deleted my account and eventually joined Facebook. I never did find the restaurant I was looking for.

On Facebook, most of my immediate friends were from Yelp. Eventually, IRL (In Real Life) friends started finding me. Some of my friends have never seen this side of me. Only my really close friends and co-workers have been subjected to my brand of "humor." No, I am not unique in this, as many others have similar tastes as I do. But, most people thought of me as the quiet, serious guy, who exhibited maybe a little bit too much self-control. A nurse friend told me, "You're really funny. I never knew that about you."

I blame my humor on many things. My upbringing amongst many different cultures, my best friend Ernest, and being a Firefighter. Firefighters, Police Officers, as well as people in the Medical industry, develop a different type of humor. Usually referred to as "Gallows" humor, gallows humor can be thought of as extremely insensitive to the average person. But it is used as a coping mechanism, to not let the drama of real life "get" to people who are always in stressful situations.

Yelp helped me learn to express myself, and vent any feelings I had in a way that was more articulate. Most of the time I kept everything to myself, letting it build up inside of me. I'm thankful that I did have this experience to exercise my mind, and to learn how to express myself in a more positive way. I probably wouldn't be writing a Blog if I hadn't found Yelp.

After joining Facebook, I kept up my brand of humor, making salacious comments on people's pages. I even used self-deprecating humor. Really, you shouldn't make fun of anyone if you can't make fun of yourself.

However, being online, you can never judge another person's reaction to what you write, or show what emotion you yourself are expressing. Body language is what's missing from ALL online communications. Eventually, I was blocked and/or de-friended by some people. Oh well, I guess that's life.

One downside to this, was that I was speaking almost anything that was on my mind. Things that I should have kept to myself. Not things that were "TMI," just those thoughts that you think about when you're over analyzing the world and everything that goes with it. You know, when you're writing messages to other people, and you just read too much into something and then go off into your own world, and then people think you're crazy? No? It's never happened to you? Um, er, me neither.... *embarrassed* Well, at least I was truthful....

Anyway, one of my last Facebook posts was "180 days." I won't go into it too much, but one of the pieces to this puzzle of "180 days," is self-improvement. And one way that I must improve is to be better in my real life relationships. In my opinion, I have been closing myself off to my co-workers and some friends by burying myself in this computer. I have had some issues with my new co-workers and had decided to ignore these people and I spent more time online. I have even neglected my close friends by not calling them or trying to set up things to do.

I have also had a lot of work that has been piling up for the last two years. Projects around my rental unit, and my own home. I even promised to repair and repaint parts of a ceiling at a friend's house. But, instead, I spent my extra minutes on Facebook.

The projects at my rental unit and friend's house have not been interrupted by my Facebook addiction, but it has interfered with the projects that needed to be done around my own house.

So my last Facebook post was about how I would take care of these projects and be back in a month or two. I asked that any communication with me be made through E-mail or by telephone. A friend asked that since I would check my E-mails at night, why couldn't I just log on to Facebook only at night?

I guess I made up my mind by then. There was a certain situation where I was not getting "positive feedback," and it seemed that I was just going in circles, again. So with that, nothing was holding me there.

I asked a friend to take over my Facebook account. This way, there would be no way I could access my account. Due to the Privacy settings I have for my Facebook, I can't even see my page. I've been off Facebook for 4 days, and I have absolutely NO clue what's going on in that "world."

I do get bored at night, during that period after dinner and before I go to sleep, as I no longer watch much television. But even before I left Facebook, I started jogging again. So that's what I'm doing now, after dinner. That's another piece of "180 days," getting in better shape.

Now, I hope to be more involved with real people, my friends and co-workers. And if one or more of my Facebook friends wants to meet and do something, then that would be great. It's no longer about Facebook time, it's about face-to-face time.

As of now, I don't want to go back to my old ways on Facebook. I'm hoping that the time off will help me break my addiction. I'll leave the account "active," but I don't want to be as active as I was. For those of you on my Facebook that may read this, Yes, I CAN do it. I can be stubborn at times when it's something important, and I have a little bit too much self-control.

No, this isn't goodbye. It's just a way of forcing me to be more involved in the real world, instead of just in cyberspace.

Anyway, I hope I see you soon, because I'll miss your face, but not your Facebook.

Emergency Interuptus

2011-05-10T23:55:00.000-07:00

This one will be difficult to explain.

Have you seen a movie or TV show where someone is being taken to an Ambulance and another person runs up to the gurney and asks the person on it, "What happened? Are you okay?"

Well, things like this happen a lot in real life. Sometimes they are concerned neighbors, or coworkers. Sometimes it's a family member who arrives just as we're leaving to go to the hospital.

"So what?" you say"? Well, if the person is being taken to an Ambulance AND they are very sick and/or dying, this act of concern is only preventing the transport of your sick and/or dying loved one to the Hospital where their life can be saved.

Make sense? If they need to go now, they need to go NOW! And you are preventing this from happening.

This happened recently, though it did NOT change the outcome for the patient. Whatever happened would have happened anyway.

We responded to a shooting victim just a few blocks from our Station. When we arrived, the patient was lying in the street, his head being cradled in the lap of a woman. We did a quick assessment, and also found out at the same time, that the woman was just a passer-by, a good Samaritan who stopped to comfort the patient. Because she was in the way, I asked her to leave. Twice. The third time I had to tell her to leave NOW!

What was she doing? well, she was comforting the patient telling him how everything would be okay, and that she was going to leave, and that the "Paramedics" were going to help him.

Well, this patient was shot in the chest. The only way he was going to have a chance to live, was if he got to a hospital to have his wounds taken care of by surgeon. No kind words of comfort would do anything for this patient, or save his life.

Harsh? Yes, but the harsh truth. Did it matter in this case? Did that woman help cause the demise of this patient because she was in the way, and we could not load him into our gurney until she moved out of the way? I don't think so. I think he would have died anyway, just from where the bullet entered his body.

But who knows about the next time? Are you one of those "What happened?" stop the gurney type of person? Are you the kind of person who does not get out of the way once the proper authorities arrive to take over?

For the sake of the patient, I hope not.