1. We’re off to Portland today! We’ll spend two nights in Portland and two nights in Seattle, staying with three different friends + their families along the way. Everett is super excited to see his girlfriends Reagan and Clara. I had high hopes for good weather while we’re there, but alas, Al Roker broke my heart. There’s a lot of rain in the forecast, which is especially disappointing because we’re taking family photos with Mike Fiechtner in Seattle on Friday. Now I have to completely re-think my outfit choice (see: first world problem). If you have any recommendations for Portland/Seattle, I am all ears!

2. Our flights to Africa are officially BOOKED! Ashley and I will be in Liberia the first two weeks in August, and could not be more excited to see what God has in store for us there. Speaking of Africa, check out Mike’s incredible photos of Liberia from his recent trip. I love that he was specifically asked to travel there to tell the story of the people of Liberia through his photographs. What an amazing opportunity! I would love to do something like that someday.

3. Between moving this summer and traveling to Liberia in August, I am going to be taking a few scheduled breaks from this space. I’m looking for some guest posts to feature during that time using the two following prompts: 1) What does home mean to you? and 2) Tell me about a trip that changed your life. If you’d like to submit a short essay on either of those topics, shoot me an e-mail at ashlee.gadd@gmail.com for more details. Pretty photos not necessary; I’m more interested in beautiful and encouraging words.

4. I might be the last person on earth to sign up for Zulily, but I finally did and it’s AWESOME. I unsubscribed from all daily deals about six months ago to keep my inbox clear, but Zulily is one I can get on board with. My sister-in-law told me she uses it as a way to stock up on baby shower and birthday gifts in advance. GENIUS. I plan to do the same. There are a bunch of Melissa & Doug toys on sale today (a favorite in our house!).

5. Say hello to my new sponsor, Living on Love! Lacy has two beautiful girls and blogs about everything – her kiddos, food, good music, adventures, dreaming big, challenges she encounters, etc. She also has a cute etsy shop called Tulie & Woo full of sweet vintage baby clothes. My favorite item in her shop right now? This yellow checkered romper for a baby girl. If someone doesn’t buy it soon, I might have to scoop it up to save in my “just in case we have a girl someday” box.

Have a great week!

I never realized that I was a clean freak until I had a baby.

A clean house was the first thing to go once our son was born, right after long showers and seven consecutive hours of sleep each night. Somewhere in the midst of sleep deprivation and projectile vomiting (the baby, not me), I stopped caring about beautifully made beds and perfectly polished sink faucets.

It was a slow process, that releasing of cleanliness and order. I started making the bed a few times a week instead of every day, and sometimes I even went to sleep with dishes in the sink. I allowed dust to collect on the shelves in our bedroom and laundry to pile high on top of the washing machine.

Gradually, little by little and day by day, I let go of something else.

Our house became more lived in, more relatable, more us. There were signs of life everywhere—from burp cloths on the coffee table to sleep training books carelessly tossed aside on the couch. The kitchen counter was often covered in a mixture of toast crumbs and droplets of pureed banana, sticky remnants that had fallen off the spoon during transition from blender to baby bowl.

People lived in our house—and for the first time—it appeared that way. There were marks of three lives in every single room: momma, daddy, and baby.

I started to embrace it, that letting go of cleanliness and order. I felt freedom in not washing a dish three seconds after I finished using it. I found liberty in smudge marks on the mirror and lint on top of the dresser…

Click here to read the rest over at Darling Magazine! It’s my first time writing for them and I’d like to do it again so if this story resonates with you, would you mind leaving a comment over there to show me some love? Thank you!

Sometimes when I look at Everett, I can see the tiny wheels spinning in his head, brain working at full speed trying to figure out cause and effect and all that jazz.

If I push this button, the batmobile will make a noise!
If I stack this cup on top of that cup, together they will make a tower!
If I stand on my box of blocks, I can climb on top of the coffee table!

He’s learning stuff, which never ceases to amaze me, because all things considered, I’m not really teaching him a whole lot. Sure we read and name things out loud and sometimes I show him how to do stuff, but for the most part, Ev is figuring out the way the world works all by himself.

What an incredible and terrifying realization.

Yesterday he picked up the remote control, pointed it at the TV, and pushed the red button to turn it on. Say what?! I have certainly not taught my one year old how to operate the television, but there he was, confident as all heck, raising the remote control (which is as big as his arm) straight at the TV like he had been using it his entire life.

Where did my baby go?

He’s not talking yet, but he babbles constantly, often with confidence. I’m noticing that even though I can’t understand him, he understands me. He knows when I say we’re going “bye bye” that we’re about to leave the house, and he knows when I say “night night” that it’s time for a nap. He knows “bath” and “time to brush your teeth!” and “ew, poop!” and a handful of other words.

But my favorite of all of these is one of the first phrases he learned: “daddy’s home!”

For the past year, every day when Brett gets home from work and I hear the garage door open, I look at Everett and smile as big as I can, and say with excitement, “Ev! Daddy’s home!!!”

And no matter where we are in the house, in a bedroom or in the kitchen or sitting on the floor playing with blocks, Everett’s eyes quickly turn towards the door in joyful anticipation. He usually starts to giggle and semi-hyperventilate. Brett walks through the door and says, “Where’s my boy?!” as Everett squeals with delight. He practically pushes himself away from me to jump into Brett’s arms.

Every day, it’s as if they haven’t seen each other in months, when in fact it’s only been 9 or 10 hours. And every day I think to myself, this. I don’t ever want to forget this. I don’t ever want Everett to not be excited when Brett comes home from work. I’m sure someday he’ll be a moody teenager and won’t care about anything at all, especially the whereabouts of his parents, but for now, for today, and for as long as I can, we will do this. We will sit on the floor together staring at the garage door with smiles on our faces waiting for daddy to make his grand entrance.

Everett, if I only manage to teach you one thing before your second birthday, I want it to be this: daddy coming home from work is worth celebrating. He’s worth all the smiles and giggles and hyperventilating your little heart can stand.

p.s. I love this lace maternity dress.
p.s.s. What to wear for maternity photos.

Right after Everett was born, our friends Michael and Hilary came over with a delicious meal, a cute baby outfit, and a beautiful potted peace lily.

You know what this means, right?

I’ve officially kept a plant alive for an entire year.

*applause*

It’s probably worth noting that we received two other plants that week, both of which died within a few days. Word of advice: please don’t give new moms plants or flowers that require a lot of maintenance. It’s such a sweet gesture, but giving a new mom another living thing to take care of is just not practical.

Our peace lily, on the other hand, has been a perfect house plant. She sits quietly in front of the tiny peekaboo window in the kitchen, inhaling dirty air and exhaling a clean replacement. She serves her purpose well and requires little care. Her leaves droop a bit when she’s thirsty, but quickly perk up again once she’s had a drink. I like to spin her around from time to time, to give all of the leaves an equal turn facing the window.

This is how I know I am called to be a mother, because I love to take care of things.

She’s simple, that peace lily.

She only needs water and light. Light and water.

Nothing more, nothing less.

She’s a reminder of sorts. Sometimes when I look at her still green leaves, I remind myself to slow down. I release my scattered thoughts and think only of the simple things I need. I think of breath and water and food. I think of Jesus, love, and grace. I think of family and friends and my sweet baby boy. I can count everything I need with the fingers on my two hands.

I remind myself to breathe. To inhale and exhale and take a drink of water and most importantly, turn my heart towards the light.