Where Peacocks Dare!

Age of Ultron revisited - Why you're in it determines who wins it!

2016-02-10T00:20:00.000-05:00

I find its good practice to check out movies I've reviewed after seeing them in theaters a second time once they come out on video to see if my opinion has changed and why. Not only does it help to keep perspective, but I have a firm belief that the process helps me improve my own skills as a story teller.

For instance, while I did not review Mad Max: Fury Road, I did enjoy it in the theater. At home though, a two hour special effects laden, over the top car chase just doesn't hold up. While it was somehow nominated for best picture (all the evidence the #OscarsSoWhite crowd needed), there were many folks turning it off without finishing over how ridiculous it all seemed to them, and I'm hard pressed to disagree.

Avengers: Age of Ultron was a film that apparently worked for me a whole lot more than most, especially the critics, who'd basically equated it to a C-. My review produced heated debate between those giving the thumbs up, and others who either wanted or expected much more, or don't understand the serial format in which all comic books and television shows are created.

During the re-watch, there were absolutely segments that forced me to step back and admit, 'OK, that was cheesy'. And like a yo-yo on a string, I was snapped back to my original impressions of 'hey, this is pretty damn good' during others.

But the lasting impression that it gave me, against the backdrop of conversations I've been having with a friend who'd recently released his first novel (excellent so far, by the way), had very little to do with the story itself, but with the characters, the process of creation and what it meant to my own work moving forward.

I don't quite know whether or not anyone who is not a writer or artist can truly appreciate what a mammoth undertaking and accomplishment it is to create an entire universe as comprehensive as the one Marvel Comics has. For 75 years thousands of creators have poured their souls into bringing this Universe into being. And Stan Lee is personally responsible for a large portion of the heavy hitters.

The victory of films like Avengers: Age of Ultron doesn't rest on the success of an individual movie, but in how they breathe life into this expansive world one installment at a time.

And that brings me to the point of this piece. While writers like my friend sweep people off of their feet with beautifully poetic prose, I bash them over the head. Down and dirty, raw grit; pulp fiction. But as we saw with the treatment of comic book films at last years Academy Awards, there's this sense that if a piece is not the utmost artistic endeavor refined beyond the capacity of simple tastes, it is somehow less; lacking, wanting.

In the same way you don't go looking for love in a brothel, it's important to know what you're in it for. Those out there who want to write the next great novel, go for it, do everything you can to emulate Hemingway. But I refuse to be judged by those standards. At no point have I ever desired to be then next Charles Dickens....

I've always wanted to be the next Stan Lee.....

Come create a Universe with me.

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Comic Con! Those Personal Connections and a free preview!

2015-10-14T19:47:00.000-04:00

The 2015 version of New York Comic Con is raging as I type this, and I find myself missing it again sitting here in South Florida. I can't really complain much though, this area of the world has at least three conventions now that Wizard World brought their Ft. Lauderdale Con entry into the field, even if none of them are what we'd consider "major" shows like NYCC.

But is missing the "major" shows necessarily a bad thing?

The first job I ever had was working tables at card and comic shows in the early 90's as a teenager. They were everywhere at the time, a different show a night from Friday through Sunday in VFW halls and church basements. The big draw was always some older star like Wrestling legend Bruno Sammartino. And maybe you were lucky enough to catch a "Creation Convention" at a venue as illustrious as the NY Penn Hotel where you could possibly meet Frank Gorshin, the original Riddler, and Adam West at the same show. But that was about as big as it got. This was way back when Doomsday killed Superman but you couldn't actually read the issue unless you bought two copies so that you didn't lose your books value by opening the bag. I still have that damn bag and it's only worth about 17 bucks.

I loved everything about those shows though, especially the personal connections you made "working the circuit". To this day it's still the most fun I've ever had working, and it inspired things like the scene I wrote for my novel which I've left at the end here for you to enjoy.

Just the other night a buddy of mine, and the inspiration behind the now infamous Roberto Vega, sent me a text saying "There was nothing like that first NY Comic Con we went to". That was the 2010 installment, and he was right. But it was specifically that personal connection that I had mentioned that made the show such a highlight. That show I met Ross Richie of BOOM Studios!, who still takes the time to give advice, and Lauren Francesca, one of Playboy's 25 Hottest YouTube Stars. And I'm not talking about the paying a hundred bucks for a picture and an autograph type of meeting, these are people I still talk to from time to time.

Me with Lauren Francesca

By the next year, 2011, while I did get a lot of great material to write about in this space, such as 2011 Comicon - Personality.... it goes a long way.... or one of my personal favorites, what NOT to do.... Being remembered the wrong way, the place had gotten so packed that you could barely walk the show room floor anymore, and forget about actually meeting professionals in the business.

In 2012 I was there with my wife, who was five months pregnant at the time, and things had grown so out of control that we couldn't even take in the entire show due to safety risks. After all, who wants their wife and kid stampeded so that they can get a gander at an unoriginal print? Not this guy, and probably not you either.

Look at how packed that is. You can't move in there!

Later on in the day I half joked with Lauren that I had wanted to introduce her to my wife, but didn't want to subject her to that. The 'that' which I speak of was mob that surrounded the booth she was working. It was so deep the only way through was with a snow plow, and that wasn't unique to her, it was the same everywhere you went inside the convention center. There gets to be a point where too much becomes, well, too much. And so I stopped subjected us both to that.

Just recently I had read that the major studios such as Marvel and DC had stopped using any Cons outside of San Diego to promote their upcoming events. Apparently, between the huge costs involved and their ability to go right to where the fans are all the time, at home, it didn't make much business sense to keep up the practice.

Armed with this knowledge, and the desire to introduce my kid to something new, something that gave me so much joy over the years, we took a shot and checked out the Florida Supercon. There were no enormous displays, no studios trying to blow away the competition, just comics, and collectibles, and fans. Plenty of stars came out for the event, a ton of them really, but they weren't inaccessible. You could reach right out and grab them, as I did wrestling star Tito Santana. And it reminded me exactly of all those shows I worked and loved in the hallowed halls of the Knights of Columbus, only on a much larger scale.

Dean Cain

My kid had such a good time that she went on about it for weeks on end afterwards. So much so that I took her to Wizard World Ft. Lauderdale where my two and half year old was able to see Superman (Dean Cain) in real life, yell "Goonies Never Say Die" at Sean Austin, and the highlight of the day, say "Hello Highlander" to Adrian Paul, Duncan MacLeod himself.

Adrian Paul

Adrian Paul sent a tweet of MY daughter to his entire fan base later on that night. I was a HUGE fan of the show, and now a huge fan of the man for taking an interest in my kid when he didn't have to. I mean, how cool is that?

And it was there that I was reminded, that personal connection is what keeps us coming back; that connection to the books and the shows, the connection to the stars and characters they brought to life, the connection to the shop we buy our books from and the community that's built around it. It's our connection to each other, and dressing up like our favorite heroes, taking pictures and sharing moments with others just like us.....

The Picture of my kid The Highlander Tweeted

And it's always, always been building that same sort of connection with you that's made me love writing and creating stories and characters of my own over the years. It's something we can share and enjoy together. It's something lost in the crowds of those jam packed "major" shows.

Don't get me wrong, I still would have loved to be there, but I can't really complain much. Now enjoy the piece below. Tell me if it reminds you of anything. And buy a copy if you feel so inclined.

Excerpt from

The Mad Doser Presents: VPI - The Saga Begins

Book II Chapter 7

The comic book show where Roberto and Mike were to meet with Jeremy was being held within the confines of a church basement, not a ten-minute drive from the school that they had just left. One blunt, two wrong turns, getting lost for a few minutes in their own neighborhood, a bout of forgetfulness, and a little more then an hour later, they found themselves walking down a flight of wooden stairs which ended on a tiled church basement floor. It was 9: 47 in the evening and just before new entry would be denied. Vega was NOT happy about the ten bucks that he had to shell out for admittance.

“This shit is comin’ right out yer pay!” he told his partner.

“That’s great!” Mike responded. “That means you’re gonna have ta PAY me.”

Brown and beige tiles checkered the floor of a cavernous room, it’s ceiling supported by large pillars spaced evenly along the side walls. They entered at the left of this room. Another door was set in the right corner. Exactly at the middle of the right wall was a kitchen where food and beverages were being served. At the far end sat a stage elevated some five feet above the ground. A set of steps led to the top of it from either side.

There was a large display atop the stage, which appeared to hold the wares of a single vendor. Tables were set along the other three walls with just enough space between to allow comic merchants room to work. There were more placed at the center of the room in a large enclosed rectangle, separating the buyers from the sellers.

“Look at all these clowns!” Vega exclaimed, “How the fuck we gonna know one slob from anotha, much less pick out yer boy?”

In the five minutes since they had walked through the door they had already spotted numerous comic book heroes, a few Jedi, a couple of incarnations of the Highlander, and the entire crew of the starship Enterprise…. from every one of the shows. And this wasn’t even a major convention. Oh, yeah, there were a few normal looking people walking around as well.

“Let’s just take a look around an see what we find.” Mike said. “There may even be somethin’ worth pickin’ up.”

“I knew ya were one a these cocksuckas!”

Mike just shrugged his shoulders.

They moved from table to table, Mike seeing almost the same exact product (newly released issues available at any store or newsstand) at almost every stop. Vega shook his head the entire time in disbelief.

“What the FUCK?” Vega wondered, staring at a half ton man in green face paint, pit stains two feet long. “Look at this fat green fuck ova here!”

“Klingon.” Mike told him.

“WHAT?!”

“Fat Klingon fuck.” Mike explained. “He’s a Klingon.”

“He’s a dirty piece a shit is what he is.” Vega responded. “An he smells like one too!”

“Do ya see this?” Mike asked, ignoring Roberto’s insults and pointing to the tables around them. “This is exactly the reason I stopped collectin’. Used ta be ya go to a show ta try an fill in yer back issues, ya know, get a couple deals, find somethin’ ya neva knew was out there.”

“Ugh” Vega grunted. He didn’t give a shit, but once Mike started ranting, the bullshit had to fly, the buffoonery run its course.

“Every single one a these people are sellin’ the same exact shit!” Pellegrino continued. “An ya’d think, since it’s all still on the shelves, that they’d discount the price some, but no, cova price, same as the guy next ta him an the one next ta that. Ya know what I’m sayin?”

“Yeah, yeah” Roberto told him. He lied. Vega had already stopped listening.

“An the comic companies themselves aren’t any better.” Mike went on. “They almost put themselves out a business. Continuous eight comic crossovers forced ya ta buy titles ya didn’t want just ta get one story arc. Poly-bags that ya can’t open cause you’ll ruin the value, so ya have ta buy two if ya actually wanna READ the book. An if that’s not enough, slap a chromium cova on the fucker an charge five bucks for a single issue. Not that it matta’s anymore, everythin’s three dollas’ a book now. Who can AFFORD ta collect anymore?”

“What are ya fuckin cryin about, man?” Vega asked. “Quit bitchin.”

“Dukes a Hazard lunch box?” Mike said to Roberto quizzically, holding the tin pail in his hands. It was stained and rusted. “This guy wants a hundred bucks fa this piece a shit, an it’s all fucked up.”

Pellegrino turned to the vendor selling that particular product. “Hey guy”, he asked “does the dirt come with this too?” The man mumbled something beneath his breath with a snarl as the investigators walked away.

Vega began to laugh out loud. Very loud. So loud in fact that it turned the odd looks on HIM. How’s that for some role reversal?

“Ya know, ya can really be an asshole when ya wanna be.” referring to the five customers that walked away from the table where Mike had inquired about free filth. “That’s some funny shit.”

“Yeah, well, that guy deserved it, hundred dolla lunch box. He’s gotta be up on the stage, it looks like the only place that’s got anythin’ worth lookin’ at.”

“Good, cause I wanna get this shit ova with an get the fuck outta here.” Vega finished.

You can find the book here for just $1.99 - The Mad Doser Presents #1: VPI – the Saga Begins.

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

Movie Critics are completely full of .........

2015-08-09T13:02:00.001-04:00

You know what I'm talking about. For the longest time now I've been telling anyone who would listen how completely horrible professional Movie Reviewers are, but if I needed any further evidence, they certainly gave it to me with the critical acclaim given to "It Follows"

It wasn't that the film was completely terrible, but massive plot holes, loose associations and poor editing gave a completely amatuer feel to a decent concept that didn't quite get it done. Before seeing the Rotten Tomatoes page I said it was about a 67, you know that grade you get in school when you passed by the skin of your sack, but not really?

Low and behold, the "Pros" couldn't get enough of it's "clever" concept, which wasn't particularly all that clever and killed by its multiple misteps, to the tune of a 96 score. The fans nailed it though, right in its left cheek.

In the following post I'm going to point out to you in no uncertain terms precisely what a joke that is. Above we see Arnold's go at the Zombie apocolypse got a 34 from fans, which I can understand given that they were all looking for gore and flesh shredding, but got an emotional human spirit story instead. What can I say, people are simple.

But if people are simple and thinking outside of the box in a genre is too much, then how can the ones who are charged with guiding the clueless masses have such a discrepancy in rating the "thoughtfulness" of these two films? Especially when Maggie was by far the better movie. There were no plot holes or major editing issues, and that alone should have made the difference.

If you wanted to say "eh, bad example, Maggie was trash", though, ok. Then what about the Tom Hardy/James Gandolfini drama The Drop? This movie was great and Tom Hardy was outstanding, his character alone a piece of art. The 89 critics score is about right, and yet not close to the 96 for "It Follows"

Not really a Tom Hardy fan though? Ok, that happens. How do you feel about Academy Award nominees? J.K. Simmons won best supporting actor for his role in Whiplash because he was sick! No, literally, his performance may have carried the film, but it left me thinking there has to be something seriously wrong with that guy.

Great film, everyone says so right? Well apparently it wasn't as good as "It Follows". The 94 score given to Whiplash couldn't quite top that 96.

Or what about Birdman, which won Academy Awards for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenplay and Best Cinematography to go along with nominations for Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor and Best Supporting Actress among others?

Well the Academy must have missed something, because according to critical acclaim, "It Follows" was the better film in 2014.

Indie films aren't for everyone though. While I loved Birdman and Whiplash both and still can't decide which I thought was the better film, I will only actually go to the theater for the kind of flick that you HAVE to see on the big screen.

I went crazy for Jurassic World. Part of that was due to nostalgia; it reminded me so much of the original film that it put me in a different place and time and reminded me of a different, well, me. According to the critics though, Jurassic World was barely watchable. The main complaint was that it was too much like the original. Remember that line as we get to the end, Jurassic World was crap because it was too much like, but not better than, the original.

By the way, as of this writing, Jurassic World became the third highest grossing film of all time behind only Titanic and Avatar. If only it were even close to as good a watch as "It Follows"......

Everyone love comics these days. Well, everyone except "serious" movie people. I've never heard comics killed so much as I had watching the latest award shows, but Age of Ultron passed $1 BILLION at the box office, so apparently the fans don't agree with the "experts".

That 87 fan rating is probably about what we gave it, and coupled with the sales figures Marvel must be doing something right. That's not the story the "professional" movie watchers would give you though. They gave it a 74, just barely passing. "It Follows" then, logicially, is the WAY more entertaining piece, 96 rating and all.

FINALLY!!! We've finally come to a film, after all the films that we've looked at, that the critics thought was a better watch than "It Follows". Mad Max: Fury Road comes in with a 98.

A 2 hour car chase through the desert with over the top villains came in at a 98. Remember when Jurassic World was too much like the original that it failed to even register a C on the test? Well then what in the hell would you say about Mad Max? That is was so much different? That it was better than the orginals?

Look, I loved Fury Road, but how about a little consistency please.

But all you have to do is take a look at the image above and it's pretty clear how very little professional critics represent the tastes and opinions of the people who actually pay to enjoy these movies, and ultimately, who they're made for.

This isn't to say every one of them are hacks. There are some great film critics who's opinion's are usually very close to mine, and I love to read their work. But just like your friends, some you agree with constantly, others just have no clue of what the hell they're talking about. So your best bet is to find people who you generally agree with and hear what they have to say, disregarding the rest. At the end of the day, none of this is any more than some persons Opinion.......

And you know what they say about Opinions.....
Everyone has one and they usually stink!

You can see what we thought about all of these films here at The Mad Doser Presents fan page on Facebook

What if Vader took over Manhattan?

2015-06-11T18:45:00.002-04:00

What would we do if Darth Vader showed up in our world?

That was the question that set off my first book, The Mad Doser Presents #1: VPI – the Saga Begins. It was the Summer of 1999 and Episode 1 just came out, the hype alone made every fanboy like me go crazy, and I was on vacation in Virginia reading Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman in the car when something in the pages made me stop and ask myself in all seriousness, if a Sith Lord were to try to take over the world right now, what the hell would we do?

Kevin Smith was huge at the time and my buddy and I were doing the sort of things in real life that Jay and Silent Bob were in the movies, which opened up a world of possibilities in the type of story you could tell. So I kicked the idea around for a while wondering exactly what a couple of idiots like us would do to stop something like that.

It really only started out as something to do on my lunch break to entertain my friends at work, but every day when I’d write a little more they’d laugh and laugh, so I kept it going. Before I knew it I was at the first turn and everyone wanted to know where I was going and how I would end it and things just grew from there.

I wanted the story to move like the Timothy Zahn Thrawn trilogy, which were just some of the most entertaining books I’ve ever read, they never get boring. Flow is important to me in storytelling because once I get bored and put it down I won’t pick it up again, and if don't like that then I refuse to do it to my readers. So I wanted a lot of characters to weave in and out of the storyline and come together at the end the way Zahn had so masterfully done it, while opening up storylines for things that I might want to try down the road. But at the heart of it there still had to be that goofy, not too serious fun that Kevin Smith gave us, albeit with a harder edge. After all, we were a lot cruder, and a bit rawer.

The funniest real life detail that makes it into the main characters, how I settled on two pothead private detectives, was how everyone everywhere actually thought that we were undercover cops. I guess it was in the way we dressed, and that certain swagger that we carried ourselves with, but even cops thought we were plain clothes cops. It didn’t hurt that I think Sam Spade is the coolest cat ever written.

Writing them became all too easy, a good deal of the scenes involving Vega and Pellegrino actually happened, or close to it, which in a sense not only makes it an homage to the creators that always inspired me, but to my buddies as well. There isn’t anything written in the book that wouldn’t sound like it would come out of my mouth, so it’s pretty natural and has a real feel to it because of that.

There are so many things that I love about this book. It taught me who I am as a writer, and you can tell that I get stronger and stronger as it goes on. But mostly, I really had a good time doing it, and so many people have told me what a good time they’ve had reading it. It’s just a fun story, with a lot of places left open to take you in the future, and I know for sure, if you’re a fan of Kevin Smith films, a fan of Star Wars and comics and don’t take yourself too seriously, well I know you’ll love it too.

You can find the book here for just $1.99 - The Mad Doser Presents #1: VPI – the Saga Begins.

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

GET PUBLISHED!!! Our schedule and how we do things

2015-03-03T22:12:00.000-05:00

By now you've probably seen our ads offering percentage pay for writers submitting short stories to be published in our collections, and if you're reading this, they've at least piqued your interest.

If that's the case it means that you've considered writing professionally. Ask any writer though, and they'll tell you if you can do anything else, you should. The reason for that is how impossibly difficult it can seem to break out, and the borderline insane dedication it requires to make that happen.

86% of all books fail and 95% of all fiction writers never make any money. Even those who do happen to procure an advance from a publishing house only do so after showing how they'll use that money to advertise. Advances are NOT your money, and often must be paid back.

There's nothing more crushing to your dream than putting your soul into 60-100,000 words and years of your life into a manuscript, actually getting it published, only to end up spending more money advertising it than you make back in sales. And yet, that's exactly what what happens to the majority of us.

Does that mean you should pack it in and give up? NEVER!
It just means you have to change your approach.

It's a proven fact that people don't buy your books, they buy your name. Even Stephen King had a hard time selling under the name Richard Bachman until people found out Bachman was Stephen King. You have to get people to know who you are BEFORE your novel hits the stands. King sold short stories to magazines.

Take a moment to think about what's popular out there right now. AMC and HBO have HUGE hits and followings with shows like The Walking Dead, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones and so on. FX has American Horror Story and Sons of Anarchy; Showtime Shameless....

Comic book movies, while once taboo, are enormously successful to the point where it's become not only accepted, but mainstream. And what is a single episode of television or issue of Detective but a one-shot, short story that's part of a larger series using characters we love to create vast worlds?

Rather than pour everything you've got into the crap shoot that is novel writing, wouldn't it be more constructive to develop your characters and skill in small monthly installments, all while practicing your marketing techniques and building your fan base?

It's important to keep in mind that some of the giants in story telling made their mark in just this way. Charles Dickens is remembered for great novels, but those novels were originally printed as shorts in monthly publications, just as we're proposing to you now. Dickens was able to use fan feedback to change direction and mold his tales into something memorable.

The first modern detective story was "Murders in the Rue Morgue", a short story with two sequels that later became the basis for Sherlock Holmes. The Holmes tales themselves were short stories, as were the radio serials and comic strips that launched other iconic characters such as The Lone Ranger and Flash Gordon. No Flash Gordon, no Star Wars.

What we're proposing here is a proven method that allows you to freely try new techniques while simultaneously getting new fans through cross promotion, and using the feedback from those fans to help your characters and worlds grow.

You don't even have to write a full story to pull it off, Pulp Fiction was a bunch of disjointed, bad ass scenes. Let's face it, if you can't put down one bad ass scene a month then you probably shouldn't be doing this, should you?

Now that we've gotten the pitch out of the way, let me explain how it all works. Throughout this post you'll have seen several sample covers with an example of the type of tales that we're looking for for each. These are the books we're looking to produce in the coming eighteen months, though we're always open to suggestions. The purpose of the themes is to focus your creative energy.

We publish the book for Kindle and set the price at $0.99, of which you get 2% per sale for each of your stories that we select. Upon release, you market your work. Sell yourself. No one but yourself. Sell to your friends, go on podcasts and radio shows, practice all the techniques it takes to get the word out for when you DO drop that novel. While you're doing that, each author in the collection will be doing the same, bringing THEIR audience to YOUR work by doing nothing but selling themselves.

Payments come in $10 increments, meaning 500 copies would have to be sold for every ten bucks you get, but the money isn't the point, it's getting as many people to read your work as possible. You just have a chance to get some money out it. Due to the prohibitive costs, we wait until 5,000 copies of the eBook are sold before going to the print version, which will be available to contributors at cost.

Now, before you scoff at that 2%, here's the part that makes it enticing for you. The average royalty for a novel is 6%. At $7 per book that's $0.42 per sale. Even at the low end, 60,000 words for a novel, that equates to 20 entries our way, which comes to $0.40 for the same amount of work, except that you'll have been marketing your work for 20 months, with a number of other authors SELLING FOR YOU, in the time it would take to put that novel out.

And it doesn't stop there. This is the best part. Once you've written 10 stories or bad ass scenes of your own we release an "annual" comprised of just your work using stories you've already written and set the price at $2.99, of which you get 40%, or $1.20 per sale. Hell, hold back scenes that connect the dots so fans HAVE to buy the annual if they want the whole story.

We create multiple streams of income, multiple avenues for finding new fans, all while providing quality entertainment to those fans at a low, low price. And all you have to do is the minimum amount of what you SHOULD be doing if you want to write for a living. Build up your fans and bounce so we can help bring along more talent. It's a win-win for everyone involved.

All it takes is one short story a month.

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Feeling August 4th 2014

2014-08-05T16:28:00.002-04:00

Inspiration
In-spired
In - Spirit

I'm all blocked up. I'm having the hardest time getting loose enough, free enough, to dream up my stories. Nothing is coming easy and free.

Free and easy.

Some people eat their feelings. I was getting fat again as it is. Can't do that again. The one benefit of my current situation is the shape that I'm getting into.

Some people cover it all up, drown it with drugs and booze. I can't do that anymore. I freak the fuck out.

The Law of Attraction says to stay positive, stay grateful, and I try. Every night I pray to God; I say "Thank you for my daughter. Thank you for my wife. Please keep them healthy. Please keep them happy. Please keep them safe. Let them shine their light, and shine yours through them, so that they may be a light unto the world."

Then I ask for the same for myself. I could really use a miracle right now, but recognize too that what's most important to me is my family. It's the one thing I've always wanted above all else. A man isn't a man without a family. So I end my prayers with "but give me those first few for my wife and daughter, take care of my family, and we're good."

I'm not religious. I AM spiritual. Every time I've needed a miracle, somehow, some way, it always comes through. It just takes a while.

You don't have to believe what I believe, so long as you believe in something. I believe that God is right where science and soul meet. I don't much trust anyone who doesn't believe in anything. What keeps them honest? What keeps them true? And true to what?

I write my feelings. Then I share them with you. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you feel the same.

Maybe tomorrow will bring a story.
But I've got to go.

Until then....

Valentine's Pooh Pooh

2014-02-14T14:44:00.000-05:00

It's Valentine's Day and I'm stuck in my house, all but bed ridden, with an enormous hole in my leg so deep that you could stick your fingers into that bad boy knuckles deep.

How it happened is anyone's guess, I was mowing the lawn when something shot out and I was struck by what the French call a certain I don't know what. The day was off to a miserable start already, I had just been turned down for a job that I had really wanted, only for this to happen. As I lay on my bathroom floor with no health insurance, bleeding everywhere and slipping into shock, a strange haze and darkness taking over me, my last thoughts were on the ever easy negatives... "why me?", "how does this even happen?"

Honestly, "man killed mowing lawn" is something you hear on Stupid News....

And then my wife threw freezing cold water over me, and I instantly snapped to attention, back from that bad place I was falling into.

So today is Valentine's day and I'm hobbled. I don't know how I'm going to give my wife her gift, if you know what I'm saying....

You Stole my Mojo!

And here is where you come in, and why I'm writing, why I'm talking to you.....

There will no doubt be tons of things flying around today about the horror's of Valentine's, scores of lonely souls crying out "Why ME?", just as the picture below suggests. And I can't say that I blame you, while I don't think we celebrate nearly enough in life and as such, should have MORE holidays rather than less, Valentine's Day is nothing more than a greeting card holiday, one trumped up to guilt trip you and apply social pressure into spending money you don't have on things you don't need to do something you should be doing every single day for your loved ones anyway; showing them how you feel about them.

Taken from the Daenerys Targaryen Page

And let's face it, 364 days a year you treat your lover like part of the furniture and a box of candy is supposed to reverse it? Not likely.

What it DOES do is make lonely people feel all the more so, pulling their focus on to just how lonely they are. So yes, generally I'm against the holiday. When you love someone, every day should be Valentine's Day.

But despite every single word listed above, I am in no way shape or form in a negative mood. Not at all. Not one bit. My spirits are currently higher than they've been in some time, and the reason is the point of what I write to you today, the message of love I give you as my Valentine....

Late last night, stuck on the couch with no way of going anywhere or doing anything, my wife and I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. While it's a sad movie, the messages there couldn't have been clearer, and I'm a full on believer of Universe sending you the messages you need, when you need them, and from the oddest places..... if you listen closely.

There's a brilliant sequence in the film that shows, better than any other I've seen, how a series of small seemingly random things can coalesce into huge, sometimes catastrophic events in our lives. And that's how the Universe works, how things are brought into being. And while the film shows how much sadness there can be in life, how much pain, disappointment, missed opportunities, it also makes it very clear that it's precisely those pains that show us what's important, how we tell how very good things are when they're very good. So we must learn to embrace these hard times and events, and use them to help us focus on what's important, on what we're grateful we DO have.

Brad Pitt as Benjamin Button

So I had a freak thing happen to me and got really badly hurt mowing the lawn, but I'm lucky enough to live in a place where the weather is beautiful enough to do so in February. My friends snowed in in the North East would LOVE that about now.

So I'm hobbled by a chasm in my leg large enough to throw coins in and make a wish, but a few inches one way and what ever did the damage would have torn through my tendon, a few inches the other and it would have completely destroyed my knee cap. Had either of those happened I'd be on the shelf for six months followed by toms of physical therapy, instead, I was hit in the one and only spot I could have been that wouldn't do any real, lasting damage.

I can't give my wife the night she deserves tonight, but I have a beautiful woman who loves me enough to take care of me when I can't take care of myself.

Star Wars: The Force

your focus determines your reality

The message here, and one I needed very much to be reminded of, is that what we choose to focus our thoughts, our minds, our energy, our emotions on, is precisely what the Universe continually brings to us. But you have so much more than just that dark side, so much to be positive about; to be thankful for. There's so much for us to love. All of us do. Everyone one, and you do too. You just have to remember what it is, and often it can be the worst things that happen to us that remind us of what they are. So when you ask, "why did this happen?" or "why me?".... well there's your answer.

As I went to bed the sudden thought, fear, came into my head, which is very understandable and easy to happen at times like this.... "what if I bleed out, what if I don't wake up in the morning?"

Towards the end of the film, Benjamin Button, who is rapidly growing young, looks at his daughter and makes the hard decision, "She's going to need a father", and so leaves.... and at that moment before bed I thought of that little girl, and I thought of my own little girl..... and I answered my own question. "I have to wake up, my little girl needs her father."

My Daughter

I think about all the inconsequential things that I allow myself to get wrapped up in, that I allow to throw me off course, something we all do; I think about myself lying on the bathroom floor bleeding, going into shock; And then I think about my wife and my daughter, and the people that I HAVE made positive impacts on in my life, and what it would mean in real world terms if I wouldn't be here any more..... and it all comes clearly into focus, and the nonsense melts away. I realize my importance, my significance, and I'm happy again. In fact, I couldn't be happier.

The Help

And you can too.
You IS kind....
You IS smart....
You IS important....
You just have to think about it, and refocus.

And no, you can't date my daughter, lol.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

For my Father on Christmas

2013-12-15T17:52:00.001-05:00

When I was ten years old my father took me to a baseball card signing to meet Willie McCovey (HoF 1986), Willie Stargell (HoF 1988) and Johnny Mize (HoF 1981) at the New York Penn Hotel. It was a day that I think about often, even now as a man grown, because of the way that these stars went out of their way to make it a special experience for me. Hundreds of people waited in line with their countless wares looking to make a big score in that world of memorabilia speculation, but when I approached the table at which McCovey sat, the former great brought me around to his side of things, pulled up a second chair, and spent fifteen minutes while he signed pictures and whatnot for others, talking to me about baseball.

Some time later in the afternoon, when I came to meet Willie Stargell, "Pops" did the exact same thing.

I'm sure you can imagine, for a young boy who never wanted to do anything but play ball, what an incredible series of events that had to have been. Needless to say, as if I needed any kind of push at that point, I was hooked. I would be a baseball fan forever. Even now, in a life full of highs and lows, it continues to be one of my best days.

My father and I have never had what you would consider a close relationship, but what can never be explained to masses of people flocking towards the newer, more exciting games the likes of NFL Football or NBA Basketball, and away from America's Past-time, are the unbreakable bonds formed between the first pitch, and the seventh inning stretch, and that last strike in the bottom of the ninth. For whatever disagreements we may have had, whatever ills during a lifetime of struggles and mistakes and miscues, for whatever hurts may have pulled us apart, my dad and I could always talk about baseball. So when I pulled his name for our family's first Christmas Secret Santa, and thought about what I could do, my mind went instantly to McCovey, and Stargell, and my first love, the New York Yankees.

Way back, before they were the Evil Empire, when the Mets ruled the city and the fans in the upper deck seemed more interested in the cartoons on the big screen than the game on the field, it didn't matter to me that the Yanks would lose close to a hundred games a year. What I remember was my father, trying to get me to a game at least once for every homestand. I remember him taking me out of school for trips to the Stadium for opening day, and the magic that hung in the air of the place. I remember the Yankees as my father's way of telling me that I was special. For all the winning that I've seen them do since, there's not a thing on the earth that compares to that; something the legion of Yankee haters will never be able to take away from me, and maybe few can understand.

So what can I do for my dad on Christmas? The best I can figure, it's to honor my favorite memories of him by teaching my own children the lessons about life that he taught me through the game we both love, those universal truths we can all understand, whether a parent, a child, a Hall of Famer or a 10 year old kid. It only takes one. Keep fouling them off till you get your pitch. As long as you've got a strike left, we can pull this one out. If you only succeed 30% of the time... you're in the Hall of Fame.

And most importantly, in that way that the long marathon of a baseball season most resembles life, because you play it every day.... if you lose this one, as my dad always told me, "Tomorrow's another day".

I love you Dad.

Let's Go Yankees!!!

Time to Right something Knew

2013-02-16T11:59:00.000-05:00

Today I'm going to take some time out from a piece that I've been working on to talk about something that's come up a lot recently, and I feel is an important matter that needs to be addressed. And yes, the title is worded and spelled exactly the way I intended.

In case you haven't seen or heard, the creative team over at The Mad Doser Presents, of which I am a part, just recently announced their very first short story writing contest with a cash prize of $250 to the winner, as well as the featured story in the next book that we publish.

Just as with any career or business, especially when you're talking about the entertainment industry, even if you're outstanding at whatever it is that you do the hardest part of getting going is actually getting going; getting people to know that you're there, and getting them to buy into what you're trying to do. The money we're offering is nothing more than a small incentive to get people moving, and get them doing what they should be doing all the time anyway if they hope to have any sort of career in this, and that's to keep working on their craft, and to keep trying to get people to know about it.

A while back when I had come out with my first book, Ross Richie of Boom Studios, one of the nicest people you'll ever meet, gave me a ton of advice (which he didn't have to do), and now that I'm right in the thick of trying to carve out my own little niche in the business, every single word that he spoke has manifested into a truth, an understanding, that's almost as visual as the comics that he publishes. That's how well I can see it in front of me. What was at the heart of his message? "Write, write, write, write, write."

You're the man now dawg!

As Sean Connery put it in the film Finding Forester, "The business of a writer is to write". You have to do it constantly. And you have to do everything you can to try to get whatever it is that you write out to as many people as you can, and then maybe, just maybe, someone may actually start paying you to do it. And that can take years. And years. And years.

You’re the best!
Around!
Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down

But us writers are an odd group. Every one of us has this arrogance, thinks we're the best around, while at the same exact time we are our own worst critics, scared to death that we're trash, that our work is garbage. We think that we should get paid for every single thing that we do, and good money, even if no one has ever heard of us before. Yet when it comes to throwing ourselves on the altar, entering contests, submitting to editors, publishers, etc..... we're terrified of that ever present horror.... REJECTION. God forbid someone doesn't like our work.

God Forbid!

And so, just as with any business just starting out, its hard to get people to sign on, hence the contest. Now, some people won't think the prize is enough, that they're above the contest, while others who want to enter are too scared that they'll somehow get embarrassed. And their entire attitude can go either way, it all depends on whether or not they think John LaSota, or any of the other members of The Mad Doser Presents, is a good writer, or if they think that the website looks cool enough, or professional enough.

Kate Upton - Sports Illustrated 2013

Shameless SEO ploy? You betcha kiddo!

In social dynamics we call that Social Proof, and any man who's ever walked into a bar with a beautiful friend and had an easier time meeting other girls because of it, or any woman who's seen some momo out in the club with a woman way out of his league and caught herself thinking "I wonder what he's got, what's so great about him, that SHE would be interested" knows exactly what I mean. Its exactly that social proof, precisely that, which makes you a star. The only evidence you need to show you this is Kim Kardasian. Exactly what is it that she does? Yet she's HUGE, and I don't just mean her backside.

Kim Kardashian's Butt

Hemingway believed that this arrogance was essential to a writer, that you believe that your ideas are the BEST ideas, and what is a writer but a person who uses words to get their ideas across? In truth, according to every principal of success, that belief that you ARE the best is essential to ANY career. After all, who's going to believe in your abilities, think you're good in anything, if you don't believe it yourself? Make no mistake, that energy comes through in your work, in every thing that you do, and the people you're trying to connect with read it every bit as much as they do the words off the page.

But what good is that confidence if you're too good to show it to anyone? How do you ever get that social proof if you never actually show off what you do? As good as you may think you are, you're not better than Shakespeare, or Hemingway, or Vonnegut, Twain, Dickens, and the list goes on and on. Maybe you're just as good, but how do I know unless you show me? The world is full of people who know so much, who feel they're so great, that they look down and put down everyone and everything else. It's easy to do while you're sitting on the sidelines, unwilling to put yourself to the very same test. Invariably, 5-10-15 years later, those people are still doing the exact same thing they're doing now; nothing. They go on to lead completely unremarkable lives, ultimately doomed to become as insignificant as they claim others work and lives to be.

Classic Author Iceberg Slim

And the same is true of those timid souls too afraid to lean themselves over the block. No one is ever going to give you anything in this world, you have to take it. Just for this very contest someone admitted to being scared of what I may think of their work, and it was brilliant. They did everything perfectly, the way a story is supposed to be told. But how would they have ever known that if they hadn't thrown themselves into the fray? They wouldn't. We read and write and fantasize about heroes and heroines all the time, but wouldn't you want to be the hero of your own story? Why would you want it any other way? As the great John Wayne once said, "Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." And he would know. He eluded the KGB. Twice!

If you're that good of a writer, then why don't you put your mouth where your pen is? And if you'd like to be, but are afraid of the threats of the unknown, start learning to attack your fears. Either way, get up off the bench, get off the sideline, and get in the game! You don't score until you score! And you can't score from the bench. Even if it's not our contest, even if The Mad Doser Presents isn't for you, there's something out there that is.

Stifler

So spread the word and encourage people. I'm all about helping people get to where they want to go. At the end of the day, your support system is everything when it comes to success. That's the entire concept behind what we're trying to do.

Don't take my word for it though, listen to the ultimate doer, a man who knew everything there was to know about over coming obstacles, and did it so brilliantly that they carved him into the side of a mountain....

Mt. Rushmore

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” - Theodore Roosevelt

You called down the Thunder!

Kurt Russell - Tombstone

Or as Kurt Russell said it in the film Tombstone....

"Get in the fight or get out of the way!"

Stan Lee - Spiderman

In other words, as Ross Richie once told me, "Write, write, write, write, write.", without worrying yourself about how much or how long it will take. After all.... Stan Lee didn't come up with Spiderman until he was 40 years old.

Later People!

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

BLACK.... by popular demand!

2013-01-31T21:30:00.000-05:00

No, no, no.... that wasn't a racial comment or a shot at the big O. No, that actually used to be the call sign of Walter Williams (not to be confused with Walter White... he's a badass), widely considered a genius economist (who also happens to be black) for his conservative radio talk show which followed Rush Limbaugh way back before Rush got high off his own, uh.... drugs. Rush should call Heisenberg!

It really has nothing to do with anything other than it was the first thing I thought about when deciding to make my triumphant return, and admittedly, its a cheap trick to use the controversial headline to grab your attention.

Walter Williams

It's been a good long while since I've written you all, and a great many things have gone down since, my own life now radically different, but the over whelming response by many of you has forced me out of retirement. You, the people, have called.... looking for a voice, and I have answered!

Walter White

"Just when I think I'm out... they PULL me back in!"

And so, the Dark Knight rises.... BLAC.... er, BACK by popular demand!

When last you heard from me I was busy twittling my one good thumb in a no good environment of dead end jobs and losing cultures into a self medicated downward spiral. My one hope, I knew, the thing I held onto was that all it would take was one positive break in an important life arena and I'd be on my way. Lo and behold, out of nowhere a buddy hooked me up with a good new job, a month later I met the woman who would quickly become my wife, and I wasted no time putting a baby inside of her. Radical change, I know, but finally in a positive manner; I'm a family man now, and I'm happier than I've ever been in my life.

It goes to prove two things, the first being that, of course, I was right again about life and how it all works, and more importantly, that no matter what stain of a situation you may find yourself in, it can all turn around at any moment, and in an instant. Ironically, because if you've read this space and know what an animal I can be, I'm having a daughter. That's either poetic justice or the universe knows what I need; I'm a cave man and this will force me to turn into some sort of human being.

Some sort of human. What sort? I don't know

So now that my re-introduction has come and gone it's time to turn our attention towards some of those worldly matters that often get me so riled up. And there's so much to go over after a near year hiatus that I'm lucky 2012 went out with such a bang. Of course, as things go these days that means precisely one thing.... Facebook fights!

Why, my wife explained, would I engage in senseless arguments with the ignorant when you can pontificate here? So here it is, and now you know why I married her.

Trouble is... you can't speak truth if it goes against popular opinion, that's not the way it works anymore, what you are F'en Crazy?!

We've had Hurricane Sandy, The Sand Hook School Shootings, the fiscal cliff debate, cries for gun control, taxing the rich, Terrorist attacks in Libya, people getting pushed in front of trains everywhere and all manner of craziness, and the one, the one lesson to come out of all of it is this....

That it doesn't matter. People have no interest in knowing what's actually going on out there. You can argue until your tongue falls off and your fingers bleed, point out fact after fact, but no one is ever going to listen to you. Their opinion, and this was actually said to me, is more important than the FACTS you present, and the minute you disagree, they turn you off.

Sandy

On a side note, 2012 also had a number of massage therapists come out against John Travolta. As they put it, he threatened them "Don't you know who I am?! You BETTER let me blow you!"

(And if you don't get the connection here.... well, that would explain a lot.)

So I've decided that my best course of action, since I can't seem to show people the light and turn them away from those cliffs at the edge of the rye fields, (they're not interested, they'd rather be right no matter how wrong they are) is that from now on I'll be speaking directly to my children, my daughter who's on the way and those yet to come, because at any time I can be beaten to death by pacifists protesting intolerance over the fact that they can't tolerate my different points of view.... or the truth rather than what sounds good, and when I'm gone I'd like for them to know their father.

But before I go I'm going to make some quick points with verifiable FACTS based on empirical data which you can look up on your own, and you can take from them what you like.

As of 2012 the national average high school graduation rate is 78.2%
Which means 21%, more than 1 in every 5 Americans, doesn't graduate from High School.

The Presidents' answer to fix the economy is to send more kids to college. How do you send people to college if they can't get a high school diploma? How does that lead to jobs?

Between 1998 and 2012 more than 160 MILLION background checks were conducted in the United States for the purpose of buying a firearm. Very few checks result in the actual denial of purchase, and you can buy more than one gun per background check. In that span it's estimated that 40% of gun sales were done without any form of background check in all. In short, there are literally Hundreds of Millions of guns out on the streets. No matter how you feel about the subject, the cat is out of the bag on this one, just as it is with drugs and illegal immigrants, there's no way in hell you can possibly reign that in. No ban of any kind will get the guns off the street, no matter what anyone tells you.

Beyond that, the people want what they want and will do anything to get it. Alcohol was banned once, and it gave rise to Al Capone and the biggest organized crime syndicates this country has every known. Drugs are now banned, and you'd be hard pressed to meet someone who can't get their hands on them. The illegal drug trade has bred life into the bloodiest, most ruthless criminals the world over. Abortion was illegal and women went into back alleys to get their guts ripped out with hangers.

What would happen with the illegal gun trade here if they're banned? People want what they want. Guns, drugs, abortion, prostitution, pirated goods, its all the same. They're never going away. What are we even fighting about?

Finally... and this brings us back full circle to the title of this piece. Try not to be too offended, these are purely statistics taken from government websites that you can verify. In all the talk of the economy, rich against poor, you often hear of the plight of the poor black kid....

As of 2012 just 12.2% of the U.S. Population is African American, or around 40 Million people. 1 in 6 Americans, 46 Million people, are currently collecting some form of welfare or another. Of that 46 million, 39% of welfare recipients are African American, more than any other group. That comes in at about 19 Million people. Look at those numbers again, around 19 Million of the 40 Million (nearly HALF) African American people in the United States collect some form of welfare.

Many people will shout racism over this. Please be objective, there are an incredible number of reasons for why this is, but these are the statistical facts of the situation. Add in crime rates and school drop out rates which I won't even go into here and there is clearly a very serious problem within that community.

So why do I bring this up? Simple. The Struggles of the poor, the economy, racism, gun violence in America, failures in education, over spending on Government programs, every single one of these factors are inseparably tied together. The fix to all of America's problems lies in the answer to what ails the Black community. If we stop being over sensitive, worried about public perception, and take a good hard look at the problems and solutions within that populace, well, if we learn how to fix that we learn how to fix all of us.

Join my fanpage John LaSota - Writer

Or our creative team's page The Mad Doser Presents

Wish you were here...

2012-03-13T10:38:00.001-04:00

A lot can be said about who I am, the things I've never done, the things I don't or may never have and what that says about me, and most of it is probably true. But at the end of things, none of it really matters. I don't care about that.

For whatever value I have, however anyone looks thinks of me or for whatever reasons, I've been many places, had many good times, many adventures. And at the heart of it was you.

When I was a boy we moved a lot, and I always wished I could still be friends, every single day, with every person I've ever been friends with. And I still do.

If it were up to me, every single night I would still hang out with every single one of you, get wrecked, laugh our asses off, and have a good time. Every single night, every friend I've ever had. That just about sounds like my idea heaven.

Wish you were here.

Truth, do you know it? And the New Madison Square Garden

2012-03-09T11:21:00.005-05:00

The other night I finally got to check out the New Madison Square Garden for the first time during the opening round of the Big East Tournament. The basketball was incredibly bad, without a doubt the worst I had ever scene, because had I been home the channel would have been long changed before the point where we were actually rooting for new levels of ineptitude, which we found ourselves doing by halftime of each contest. Still... it was a good time.

Madison Square Garden

My first observation of the night, as always, had to be "my God there are a lot of hot women in here", and there were. You expect any college level sporting event to bring the ladies in droves, but that wasn't who was in attendance, even for this low demand Tuesday night happening. The hotness ranged through every age group. In truth though, just as it is at Yankee Stadium or any other such place.... no one shells out that kind of cash and brings a dog to the show. Beasts of Burden have to pay their own way, buy their own ticket.

Hot Chicks at Yankee Stadium

We sat up in the 400 section of the Garden, you know, the cheap seats, as if any seat in the Garden is cheap anymore, which brought me to my second observation, and most glaring and thought provoking of the night. For all of the renovations that they made to the place, up there in the rafters they still just had a single men's room with two piss holes and one toilet. The new main concourse is unbelievably beautiful.... the only change upstairs was taking the old, beat up seating from the 200 section and sliding them up the stairs. It all only goes to show that the more things change, the more they stay the same, and the members of the world that are allowed to play in the sandbox are the ones who already have the money to do whatever they want anyway.

Four gay men sat down in front of us just after halftime brandishing books and a sweater that looked like a toilet rug draped over the back. Time and again when Ringo would talk to me, loud enough for me to hear him over the crowd, one of the gay men would turn and stare with a disapproving look. In my younger days I would have ripped him apart over it, goading him into a choice of either leaving or getting punched in the face. In my funnier wise ass times I would have just made an obvious show of staring dead at him with the same stupid look on the face he was giving. Look, I don't care what you do in your free time, away from me, but how the hell do you go to a ballgame and give incredulous looks to fans for being loud and having fun?

When in Rome.....

Its great to try new things and go outside of your element, but the reason the saying goes "when in Rome do as the Romans do" is because (1) the experience is in doing something different and more to my point (2) you don't walk into someone else's house and expect them to live by your standards. If you want people to be quiet so you can read your book go to the fucking library, not a ballgame. If you want to talk about sweaters, try a coffee shop or some damn trendy hipster spot. And if you DON'T want people going nuts around you, stay the fuck home, because that's the joy in going out to a ballgame, letting loose, going crazy, and having fun.

Who the hell are any of us to judge others, in their environments, by our own ridiculous standards?

I finally caught "The Rum Diary", which I thought was very solid even if underwhelming, but it did leave an impression on me, as Hunter Thompson always does. The first thing that took hold was this.... Amber Heard is enchanting.... she's the kind of beauty that you just can't pull your eyes from, and just puts that stupid shit eating grin on your face without your noticing it was even there.

Amber Heard

But two lines from the film caught hold of me, "The average person don't want to rock the boat because he wants to climb aboard it" was the first. You can see examples of this every single day in every aspect of life. We want the fun, we want the fame, we want the fortune and everything that comes with it, so we're always willing to turn a blind eye to all the ills of the world so long as we can keep the hopes our illusions provide. Unless of course, as in the case of recent "social" movements that fail to see the underlying facts, the boat we're trying to get on is simply being part of the club. And then it turns to activism without clarity, direction, or truth.

Hunter S. Thompson

Truth... that seems to be a theme here. The other line that hit me was "I smell bastards.... and I smell truth". The way of the world is that the bastards out there cover the truth at ever turn, and present you with their own bastardized way of looking at things.... and you eat it up every time, taking polar sides on issues that aren't real, without finding out the facts behind any of them for yourself. Or worse, shunning the facts as nonsense because you don't WANT to believe it. That's because the average person doesn't want to rock the boat, because they want to climb aboard.

It all left me with this question..... would you recognize the truth when you heard it?

The sad answer is no. ABC News reported just last week that new studies have found, with all of our technology in this information age, that people now make up their minds in 250 milliseconds. That's barely enough time to blow a fart, and yet we become unyielding in these decisions, and about all the most important things. That explains so many terrible issues I would have to write a book to get into it.

Finally.... its been a week now since I've laid off coffee ( I only allow myself 1 cup of decaf in the morning) and I feel so much better about myself. Here are some fun facts for you about caffeine, a drug every bit as dangerous for your body as alcohol or narcotics.... caffeine from a single cup of coffee takes 10-12 hours to break down completely and continues to work on your brain in that time. Caffeine affects men twice as hard as women and strips them of their ability to manage stress. It also triggers anxiety, leading to panic attacks and a general sense of unease, and since the same chemicals in the brain that cause anxiety also bring on bouts of depression.....

The damn shame of it is that I love coffee... but I love myself more.

Truth.... find it before you open your mouth. Find it before jumping on the social bandwagons. Use your brain for more than 250 milliseconds.

The Universe reminds you of what you love, and what's most important to you!

2012-03-01T12:37:00.001-05:00

Davy Jones died yesterday.

When I heard the news over the radio, I have to admit, it took my breath for a second. Unlike certain other celebrities, no one saw this coming. As a kid I watched The Monkees every single day in syndication growing up, and as I realized I knew every word to every song that played continuously on the radio, I also realized that they were just as much a part of me and my life as your dear Uncle Charlie or whoever may have been for you.

As a vagabond, moving to a new place in a new neighborhood, surrounded by new people every year (we averaged a move every 8 months for a time) there was never a feeling of stability as a kid, never that sense of home, a place you knew you belonged, fit it. And so my home became the shows, the movies, the characters that I could tune in to every day, the ones I always knew would certainly be there, no matter where I happened to find myself.

And so, Davy Jones, The Monkees, and all of many made up people and places pouring into my living room became my friends, my family. These are all I've ever known as home. For an American Mutt like myself, with no real culture to lean on, these imaginings became my culture as well.

People never quite understand how I know as many movies and shows as I do, and I've been criticized in the past for using fictional characters as someone or something to look up to. Looking back on it now though, through that scope of what these things, these people have and still do mean to me, its no wonder that I love the movies, love stories, love characters so much.

And I know that many of you reading this have felt the same way. As Joseph Campbell once said, this is our Ethos, out American Culture, the way we do things. You can't separate them from us, from who we are. And thus, we all feel that pang in our hearts, the same as with a relative, when members of our adoptive "families" die. Part of us, the best parts of us, die with them.

I was critical of the attention that Whitney Houston received when she passed, not because it wasn't sad (I can't lie, every time one her songs comes on the radio.... I know all the words to those as well, and I marvel at how incredible she was), but the way that we live and the example we set for others are every bit as, and probably even more so, as important as the accomplishments we come to have in life.

In the end she looked more like James Brown than the stunning beauty she was, sounded more like The Kurgan, and completely destroyed whatever legacy she had built. Its that last despicable image of her that will forever endure in my mind, and the reason I can not celebrate her life as I do Davy Jones.

When I think of Davy Jones, he always brings me back to better times, to the home I never had, a home in my heart, and returns a smile to my face.

The Kurgan from the film "The Highlander"

The 84th Academy Awards was held the other night, further reminding me how much I really do love films, and as it always does, it left me wondering why they even bother having nominations in the first place if they're only going to give every award to the same film. Hugo cleaned up, doing so in categories that I didn't think it should have gotten credit for over the given competition. But I hadn't seen the movie yet.

So last night when I had the opportunity to rent it, I did so. My night consisted of a great New York Knick Basketball game, who's recent resurgence due to Linsanity has also reminded me of my love for my hometown team, a nice dinner, a good movie and some light reading before bed. If I had spent a night like this with my girlfriend, as I had so many times before, I would have considered it a perfect night. Add in a little grown and sexy time, and that's just about my idea of heaven.

Its been a long time now since I've had one of those nights with the right special lady, however, and it was such a marked difference that it was noticeable. Those holes in your heart are hard to fill, even when what you would normally love is all around you. And as if that wasn't enough to hammer home the point, an old flame who I loved very much got married that very night, and officially announced it.

Hugo, as it turned out, is an absolutely excellent movie which probably should have won many awards, even if I still don't think it should have taken home certain categories. It paid homage to early giants and inspirations of the film industry, but it was so much more than that, it was a story of how the universe has a way of reminding us of the loves on our life, and in our life; how the universe always reminds us of what is most important to us, and brings us back to them somehow, in ways we never could have seen.

Its funny how that always works out.

Later People!

Welcome to 2012!

2012-01-16T12:35:00.000-05:00

Its been a while now since I've posted something new, and for the most part its because lately I haven't had much new to say. While there are a couple of pieces building up their time has yet to come, like the growth of a child in the womb, these things take time to develop properly. In other words, as Judge Reinhold would say.... I shall serve no fries before their time!

But its also the responsibility of anyone in my current position to pop out every once in a while to say hello, let the world know that you're still there, and so here I am.

Did anyone happen to catch the Golden Globes last night? There were a few things that really stood out to me beyond all of the big time celebrities filling the crowd. This is really an event for them, by them, so that they could celebrate each other. Or, as we like to put it in Queens, and excuse for actors to form gaggles and blow each other.

George Clooney must be loved everywhere by the people he works with, which I quess is as much a sign as any of a quality human being, so long as those qualities are the ones that people are looking for. Qualities that people are looking for and qualities that make one a good person aren't always the same, are they? Clooney has to be loved, how else could you possibly explain how a movie like "The Descendants" wins an award for Best Drama over a film like "War Horse".

Truth be told, I haven't seen either, but I don't have to. We all know the type of movies that win awards. It doesn't take much to see that just like Cronyism is Washington, Cronyism is all over Hollywood too. Truth be told.... all of society is inundated with cronyism. We're all full of shit pushing some sort of agenda or other.

As much as I loved the film version of "Moneyball", it too had no more dramatic presence than most popcorn, girly, romantic comedy nonsense, yet we all love Brad Pitt don't we? No surprise then that was up for the same considerations as Clooney.

Connecting to Brad Pitt.... tell me Angelina Jolie didn't look like a crack head last night? I'm not sure if it was the no muscle, skin stretched over bone thing going on with her arms that made her shoulder look HUGE, but someone needs to feed that woman. Its either that, or that cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Beyond that, there was one really big, really important idea that came out of the entire affair for me. Everyone of those people up there.... they are no longer in that place in life like most of us where they have to work anymore. Now the projects they choose have everything to do with what they want to pour themselves into in life, what they want to work on because they WANT to, and not because they have to.

To me, that's all money really is. Its the freedom to do the things you enjoy and pour your whole self into it without the fear or distractions that accompany the need for such ventures to be successful that the rest of us have to endure.

More and more it becomes apparent that, as all success guru's will all tell you, if you're not passionate about what you're doing there's no way you can ever be really successful at it.

If only we all could be given that cushion, that protective bubble, in order to work at our passions and nothing else. That's the Garden of Eden.

So much like those popcorn fliks I had mentioned before, today this is no more than a quick "Hi, how ya doing?", but its a new year, a new start, a new mindset.... lets see if we can't just find that Garden of Eden together.

Welcome to 2012!

Later People.

Where Peacocks Dare! 2011 Full Reboot! Part 1

2012-01-03T23:39:00.000-05:00

Back when I was teaching I used to make my kids write in their journal everyday, and each week they were supposed to go back and read what they had written, and what they were thinking, in order to see how they could improve. The exercise wasn't just to make them better writers, but to show them where they had been, and how far they had come, so that maybe, just maybe, they might also become better people.

Well, its high time I took my own medicine. So today I'll be presenting my mind as I was in 2011, uncut, unedited, and without having filter, so that we can all read back and see a human being as a whole. I'm sure there will be plenty of times when I make an ass of myself here, have no idea what I'm talking about, and am completely off base, proving that I'm immensely ridiculous. Just as often I'll be wise and compassionate, entertaining, and full of useful knowledge as well.

I present it in two parts as the file size is too large to do otherwise. This is who I am. I hope you enjoy!

I Need to Fly On this One!

This morning I woke up with an overwhelming urge to look around at myself and scream WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?! So I guess this is as good a point to start this all off as any. For now though, I'll spare you the gorey details and just get into it.

HOW DO YOU REPLACE A LEGEND?

I'm not talking about Derek Jeter here, though I'll come back to that, I'm talking about the fabled "Chinese Kid".

If you know me well, you no doubt have heard countless tales of wonder; his sucking the marrow out of pork bones, chewing bananas across our small table with his mouth wide open, chunks falling out, wearing the same clothes every day and not wiping his ass (you don't want to know how I know...). Well, he's leaving at the end of the week, moving on to graze, and I do mean graze, in greener pastures, hopefully out in the air where no one has to smell him.

But much like that last girl you were fucking, who was such a cunt she gave new meaning to the word, when they move on, how does anyone hope to come in and fill you with that utter sense of worthlessness? Who do you get to stare at and declare "Oh god, this is what my life has become!"?

So here's to all you legends in our lives, the ones whom we remember forever, that never really leave our hearts and minds. I know, one day, when I hear a random sound that makes me want to kill, or catch the rise of some foul stench that twists my guts into dry heaving despair; when I see some bitch so nasty her boyfriend should be legally obliged to drag her through the streets behind a van, I will think of you... and wonder if you're dead yet!

WE ALL SHIT THE SAME WAY....

well, maybe not, but we all have to shit.

I glanced over to my right upon walking out of the port-o-potty and saw The Man leaving his own stall when a really nice looking girl in a white dress darted through the door behind him. He stopped, staring back in wide eyed amazement at the shit house he had just vacated.

"She didn't come out" he said to me as I approached, a hint of real horror in his voice, which was shocking enough. The Man actually seemed to care.

"What the fuck did you do?" I asked. It had to be bad

"I didn't do anything.... but she didn't come out" he reiterated. "Someone took the biggest shit I've ever seen on that toilet seat."

We stood there for at least ten minutes and the girl never did come out.

The next morning I go to take a leak, it was the last day of Superball and no one was cleaning these bathrooms, so you had be selective, and by that I mean keep checking for one someone HADN'T shit all over (there were some interesting designs, one left on the seat looked like a hamburger). Sure enough, I returned to the scene of the previous nights crime, a turd on the toilet... the biggest turd I had ever seen in fact... and it looked just like a loaf of wheat bread.

20 minutes later when I returned to camp, some fool was screaming at the top of his lungs "The humanity, that's the biggest turd I've ever seen" By then it had taken on a life of it's own.

Ever since I heard that fool screaming one thought has been repeating over and over again in my head... no, not how did someone shit out of loaf of bread (I have to believe that they arranged it that way, like a mud pie, carefully constructed with loving care... by hand), there's no way in hell that really nice looking girl didn't sit on that turd. There's no way she didn't walk out of there with someone else's human shit all over her white dress.

So here's the uplifting, inspirational thought of the day... no matter how perfect a person may seem, or how much better someone may think they are than anyone else, we all have to shit, we'll do almost anything, deal with the nastiest conditions to take care of that, and finally.... we all get shit on sometimes....

WELCOME - WHERE PEACOCKS DARE!

So what the hell am I talking about, and what's the point of all of this?

Four years ago, while living in Las Vegas, I came home to find my girlfriend had taken half of our shit and taken off on me. I never really dealt with it, instead putting my head down and getting to work in an effort to keep on keeping on. In that time I've written two books, A Loaded Portrait and VPI The Saga Begins, earned my degree in Social Science with a concentration in education and a minor in psychology, and become a certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming practitioner. I spent all my time studying how people learn and why we do the shit that we do, to ourselves and each other.

While I've accomplished some amazing things in that time (without the financial success, unfortunately, so click the damn adds on the page so I can get paid) I also nearly lost myself completely in the process as well. As someone I recently knew biblically had told, me just before cutting me off, "You had better start living or I'll beat you!" And now I'm trying to do just that.

But if the business of writers is to write... then I had better get at that also. SO... here we are together. I have no idea of what's out there anymore, and I'm going to be taking you with me as I find it. Whatever I'm doing, whatever I'm thinking about, whatever I think is cool (or sucks hairy moose balls) I'm going to let you know about it in the way that only I can. And any suggestions you may have are more than welcome. So follow me... WHERE PEACOCKS DARE!

"I'M A COME PEACOCK CAPTAIN, YOU GOTTA LET ME FLY ON THIS ONE!"

SUPERBALL

I've already mentioned Superball, the three day festival with Phish in Watkins Glenn, NY over the forth of July weekend. I had the pleasure of spending said weekend camping out with two of my best friends in the world and thirty thousand hippies in all their saucy glory. If you don't know Phish do yourself a favor and check them out. I know maybe five songs, yet have seen them eight times and now gone to a festival. Great music and a crowd that reminds me of the parties at Oklahoma State (before I got tossed) is always a recipe for a good time, and this weekend was no exception. Bacon cooking across the grill accentuated the sights of young girls in bikinis showering themselves in the hand faucets right in front of our camp site. They were probably the only ones that showered. Thank god for the smell of bacon fat.

A forty year old man screams out "Wonder Woman? That's my childhood fantasy!" as the crowd is pushing it's way towards the show one afternoon. There's someone sitting on the side of the path dressed as Wonder Woman. "OH, that was bad!" the man quickly blurts before putting his head down, briskly walking away. Wonder Woman was sitting there with her father; she couldn't have been more than twelve years old.- SUPERBALL!

We decided to get away from the masses a little bit that afternoon, and it took us some time to realize that we were in the family section doing the exact sort of thing, for hours at that point, that all the little kids playing ball around us had no doubt been told many times to stay away from. You'll learn I'm such a positive role model. I couldn't have been happier for it, as I was privy to the most romantic moment of the weekend. A man with his wife and kids turned to his beloved, telling her sweetly, "There's nothing I'd rather do, on my birthday, than make YOU happy.... do me a favor... SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Now THAT's love!- SUPERBALL!

Some jackass parades around with a TV on his head covered in protest signs and nonsense when the call of a profit rings out to him through the night air... "Eat shit and die, FREAK!"- SUPERBALL!

It was a four day bender that hasn't stopped yet... and a good time for all, though most of the details still remain a blur... just ask me about my brownies!

And that is how peacocks take flight... completely fucked up!

RATS!

A few weeks ago I arranged a secret meeting with an absolutely beautiful woman. We met late at night, just the two of us in a random, unsdisclosed parking lot in Long Island, where this stunner was more than happy, ecstatic even, to give me her.... RATS! Only I would have something like that happen. It was an event as random and strange as that parking lot, the girl, who is making strides as an actress and model and goes by the name Lauren Francesca was making a spoof video involving her furry friends had to do something with them afterwards Being a major animal lover (and as misunderstood as rats are) it was an easy match; I had to take them.

For years I've used the name "Milo Hanginbawlsak", you may have even seen it come up, so when she told me "the big one's name is Milo... you can tell it's him from his huge nuts" you can imagine how I've been laughing my huge nuts off ever since.

So I did some research the next day because of how very odd the whole incident was and it turns out that in nearly every ancient culture, Rats are a sign of good luck, prosperity, and the removal of obstacles. And ever since things have been coming together.

The signs are always there... you just have to be willing to see them.

YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT...

I caught Emily Forst for the first time playing at The Bitter End in the Village the other night and I have to say I'm better for it. She really kicked ass during that set, and she's just as good as any female artist I've heard lately, so if she keeps doing her thing she'll be on her way and you should definitely check her out. Emily did a version of "hallelujah" that's been stuck in my head ever since, in a good way, and an original of her own that she had played just before hand hit me exactly right. Beyond that, I hadn't been in The Bitter End in years and had forgotten how very cool a place it really is. Every time I tried to leave the next artist made me sit back down, grab another beer, chill and enjoy the music. For a $5 cover you can't beat it.

Want to laugh your ass off? Make sure to give a listen to TMCtheShow. These are some VERY funny fuckers right here, and they're more outrageous than any of the bullshit you've been wasting your time with lately. The site looks good too.

TAKE A LOOK AROUND THIS PAGE!

There are a bunch of things around like links, popluar YouTube Videos, a picture slideshow and a poll. We have some feeds at the bottom of the page too. Check back often and let me know what's up. I'll be doing this every other week or so for now.

You have something going on you want me to talk about, tell me about it.

I never did get back to Derek Jeter, did I? Fuck it, next time.

Click the ads, I need the money damn it.

Captain America Sucks Ass and the Greatest Knockout EVER!!!

Due to the ball sweltering heat this past weekend (not to be confused with Ball Swallows, which I've been mistakenly calling Roland Orzabal, lead singer for Tears for Fears for years now), I took the perfect opportunity to get back into one of the great loves I have, which is of course the movies. I watched a ton of them the last few days now. So I caught Thursday night's midnight showing of Captain America at the Atlas Park Mall and the horrid experience quickly reminded me of every reason that I stopped going to the theater in the first place. But I'll get back to that in a minute because first I have to show you....

THE GREATEST KNOCKOUT EVER!!!

Way back in 2004 I was sitting in my closet of a bedroom flipping through the channels on my tiny bullshit television when I came across a boxing match. Now, one of my favorite things in the world is watching chicks beat the fuck out each other, it ranks right along with people getting kicked. So when I happened across this fight I had to see what was going to happen. Out comes this small black woman walking up to a massive white chick looking every bit like Apollo Vs. Ivan Drago (and if you don't get that reference, fuck off!), except Drago's wearing the American flag trunks this time around. No way this little lady (she aint no lady, folks) has a fuckin chance in hell until, sure enough, she unloads a massive haymaker and catches that big bitch right on the button. Her legs crumble and she goes down in a heap. IT WAS THE SHIT!!!

I was screaming from that shot, the woman's eye's rolled in the back of her head, that shit was GREAT! But when I tried telling people about it they couldn't appreciate it's beauty, because I had no idea who the fuck it was in that fight, afterall, who gives a shit who the chicks are pounding on each other as long as there are two broads slugging it out, right? For years I'd been kicking myself over it, wishing I could see that punch one more time, with no hope of ever finding out who it was. How many women boxing fans are there really? Hell, the whole damn sport is dying, right?

But that was until Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel, Gumble, Gumble (as Dennis Miller would say) aired a special on a tough as nails female boxing trainer by the name of Ann Wolfe, and let me tell you, she's a BAD bitch! (But I wouldn't say that shit to her face, she'll fuck me up!)

And to my glee, my great joy, they replayed the clip of the GREATEST KNOCKOUT EVER! You have to see this!

How awesome is this shot? Look at her eyes!

She got knocked the FUCK OUT!

Ok, so maybe laughing at people getting kicked makes me an asshole, but it's just one of many reasons. I've always said you've got to go with your strengths, and I'm damn good at it. The BEST is when people get kicked in the face, and fuck you if you're not into that, because just like getting hit by a bus or blasted into a million pieces by the 4:05 train, how the fuck did you not see that coming? Think about it, no matter what the situation, however you got yourself in a position to get kicked in the face, you did it to yourself. You deserve that shit!

I'm going to try and keep these things short and sweet for you from now on, and besides, I've got to go jerk off, and that might take all night (I've been sitting on my hand for the last hour, gives it a different feel, ya know?)

CAPTAIN AMERICA SUCKS ASS PART DEUX!!! really this time

Ok, so I had meant to get into telling why you shouldn't be getting your hopes up or expecting anything at all from the new Cap flik before I got side tracked, so here it goes. And if you're reading thing through an RSS feed, it's just come to my attention that the video's may not be popping up for you. Go to the main page for that, it'd be a shame to miss the shit I put up here.

This is the coolest shot from the entire thing. You can check it out from the official site here: Captain America

I'm a huge fan of the character and was really looking forward to seeing this shit, hence the Thursday night midnight showing, and I left the theater with a bad taste in my mouth rivaling the wine bottle cork in the ass experience I used to give my customers in Vegas, but that's a tale for another time.

It seems that every time I go to see a midnight show there's some kind of major fuck up that ruins the entire thing. I guess running a projector is too difficult a task for some people, or maybe they were sucking dick and playing games up there, which at least would be a good excuse for why my $18 movie had the sound cut out over long stretches 3 god damned times. It's shit like this that makes malls like Atlas park completely tank when the only attraction in the place can't get their shit together. Maybe that's why I hated it so much, maybe it was just the Disney touch, I don't know, but there was definitely some Mickey Mouse bullshit going on.

I guess the effect that they were going for was the cheesy, campy style flik that we got in wonders such as Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow and The Phantom. The problem is that those movies licked the back of my sweaty nutsack too. In defense of the film makers, if you've ever read the original Captain America stuff it's all just as campy, which I guess is what they were going for. The problem is that it nevers works when they try to make movies that way, you end up shelling out good money that you'd have been better off using up in that projection booth or behind some back alley dumpster with a $3 whore. And when all the trailors make it look like a gritty war film... well, this was way off the mark.

Once Cap gets his power the story jumps from one thing to another without any attempt to build a story at all beyond "Hey, we've got to get that cocksucker!" Maybe if they had put it that way, or shown 7 boobs, 3 butts and explosions ala Joe Bob Briggs (now THAT guy is god damned genius Gump!), I'd have been into it more. The CGI was absolutely horrible. It reminded me another shit slop, which was the 2005 King Kong. That mess had entire scenes where it looked to me like shit rolling down hill.

On the bright side though, it wasn't a total loss. The cast was great and did everything that they could with this pile. Hugo Weaving was incredible as the Red Skull, who just looked insane, and Tommy Lee Jones was outstanding. There were also a good amount of funny one liners, and there were times when I got chills down my spine seeing Captain America on screen, reminding me of what it means to be a true leader (Other than my mouth, I'm a fuckin boy scout).

Maybe I'll appreciate this more when it comes out on video, which is what I recommend you wait for to see it, but the 1990 Captain America starring Ned Fuckin Beatty was a better movie. And if you disagree, then maybe you should take a good hard look at yourself and your taste, because you're the fuckin problem, the real reason hollywood won't even attempt to make a good film to save my cancerous left nut! They don't have to cause you're an idiot.

SQUEEL LIKE A PIG FUCKFACE!

SKANKS.... Amy Winehouse and Britney Spears.... Ask and ye shall receive

So Amy Winehouse is dead.... GOOD! Skanks and crackheads are found dead behind dumpsters everyday, but you never hear anyone cry because some slob got bound and suffocated in garbage bags for refusing to suck some dude's cock after snorting all of his coke; refused her obligations in what I like to call Blow for Blow. Amazing how the tears well up and the love is showered down on the same type of piece of shit because they're somewhat famous. Meanwhile, these fuckin people need to be crackheads and skanks and whatever else. The very demons that drive them through that glass table, forcing the Olsen Twins to flush the rest of the stash in the toilet behind them is the very thing that fuels their art, the very thing you assholes love them for in the first place. Besides... could you imagine Jimi Hendrix alive now? He'd be in a back alley sucking dick for coke too!

Speaking of people swirling down life's long toilet towards, well, that aint the light... it's only a matter of time before Lindsey Lohan wraps herself into a tree. I thought she'd be perfect for this next spot, but she hadn't done anything really worth mentioning lately, much less set up what I had wanted to go with. I didn't know what to do, and then it happened....

ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE!

I needed a celebrity to go on a tirade, showing us all how fucked in the head these douchebag's can really be, put themselves into our trainwreck of life hall of fame, but it wasn't coming. Until finally Uncle Fester over here made her triumphant return

Do you remember when Britney Spears was so damn hot (and innocent, lol) that every red blooded male with a pulse would have lined up like a 12 year old at a Harry Potter sighting to shell out millions just to de-flower her? How the mighty have fallen! Now she's such a dirty pig that her former body guard is sueing her for trying to coerce him into sex. Apparently this slob walks into rooms ripping ass while picking her nose and eating it. But you can't blame her, after all it's only the munchies. She's throwing down every pill she can get her hands on, getting gang banged by random dudes 3 and 4 at a time, and not washing their manjuice, or the shit out of the crack of her ass for weeks. Then she bends over, displaying the shit caked crust around her rotted gash, giving anyone around a good sniff. In other words... she's Randy Quad's daughter from Vacation.

Shit, if I went on just talking about celebrity sluts, whores and skanks I could be here all day, and I'm trying to keep these things short and sweet for you, so I'm going to leave it here. It all feels a bit rushed today, like destroying the evidence at Heath Ledger's farewell address, but the important thing is that it sets up what I'll be going with next.

CONGRATULATIONS BRITNEY SPEARS, you're now our leading lady in our project for a new tomorrow!

The BEST story I've heard all week!

I wanted to start with this yesterday, but considering the title and topic I was going with I felt it would send the exact opposite message that I was going for about someone I so far think is fantastic, which proves I don't have my head completely up my own ass, but hey, everyone loves their own brand, right?

SO..... A couple of weeks ago I had mentioned that I went to the Bitter End in the village to see Emily Forst play when a pianist came on that blew my socks off. I had no reason to stay at that point of the night except to experience how phenomenal this artist was; she kept my ass in the chair even when I had planned to leave, which is the most ringing endorsement I think I can give to anyone. Well, her name is Nisha Asnani and there's no way you should let the chance to check her out for yourself pass you by. The link I have here, if you click on her name, will bring you to a place you can do that. And did I mention she's also pretty hot?

I've been talking about movies and celebrities a lot in the last few days, which won't always be the case, but yesterday I had gotten into Britney Spears and how she is now the leading lady in my train wreck of life hall of fame. I had to get into that because with all of the shitty remakes of movies that were only made 20 years ago and still so fresh in your memory that you can recite every line from them, and the ever popular ensemble cast flik full of decrepit former action stars that always just sucked to begin with, I think Hollywood is missing a tremendous opportunity to make a box office killing with the greatest ensemble film every conceptualized.

Now, the reason that there's no originality (or good movies) coming out these days is because YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT and pay good money to see the shit that they're pumping out. Then I have to hear how much you liked some trash version of the same flik you saw as a kid with asshole's who can't act like it's your kid's god damned high school play version of War Games (just one of many remakes on the horizon that will make me want to chain the theater doors, with you inside, and LIGHT THE PLACE ON FIRE!).

But what if we gathered together a crew of real fuck-ups, the sort of lunatic that we just can't stop talking about, and threw them into a story that makes celebrity rehab look like the fuckin Brady Bunch? Much like our leading actress Britney, it would be a beautiful disaster, the A-Team meets the Dream Team! With all the shitheads out there to choose from, you really can't go wrong, but my crew couldn't be beat! Who would I go with? EASY!

HOWLING MAD

The list begins and ends with Gary Busy. Who the hell else could you possibly consider? Finding a Busey crazy picture wasn't the problem, it was picking which one.

FACEMAN

"What are you in for? Drugs". All I can say is GIVE EM' THE HEATER RICKY! Have you ever seen Navy Seals? I swear Charlie Sheen was only playing him self in that.

B.A.

Nordberg! What can I say, maybe I took the easy way out on this one, but he brings his own Dream Team

But all these crazies in the same room, on the same suicide mission could go wildly out of control. What we need is a strong leader, someone who can unquestionably take the reigns and do the impossible. Who is need is....

HANNIBAL

None other than drunken Jew hating, wife beating Mel Gibson! How can you fuck with Braveheart? This patriot's going to go Lethal Martin Riggs on your ass! I love it when a plan comes together!

So now you see why I needed Britney, afterall, how can you bring it all together with out strong female lead? Come to think of it, maybe Spears isn't strong enough to hang with these nutsacks, maybe she's not off enough to hold her own. I was wrong yesterday; for the first time I'm really feeling the loss of Amy Winehouse.

THE BEST STORY I'VE HEARD ALL WEEK!

The news report said he was the puppy no one wanted, his brothers and sisters were all adopted ahead of him, the last one picked. That just makes it even better, and a great example for a lot of us. No matter what anyone else thinks of us, even those of us no one wants are capable of something great just by being themselves.

Alright fuckface, this has carried on long enough already, and I have to get back to work. Try not to suck too much dick on your way to the parking lot!

Harry Potter Review!

A really cool thing's been happening lately.... I've been getting reports back from a lot of you about how much you liked the people that I've highlighted here in this space, which means I'm helping spread their audience. If I accomplished nothing else here than that it's all I could ever ask for.... so keep on checking out the new stuff.....

AND NOW....

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART II....

If you're looking for me to get vicious today you're going to be disappointed, I have no biting criticisms for this one. It was a solid movie and I thoroughly enjoyed my entire experience that night. Now, I don't get too into telling you everything that happened in a flik like most reviews, what the hell is the point in that? Giving a summary defeats the purpose of seeing for yourself. It starts up right where Part I lets off and picks up the action right away, which was great. I liked the way that they went about tying all the loose ends together and explaining what the hell was going on the entire time; nicely done. I didn't read any of the books, so I can't comment if it was done as well as it was supposed to, but for film series purposes it worked. On the downside it was pretty anti-climatic, especially considering it's the 8th installment of a series (that much build-up deserves more fireworks), and felt a little long, probably due to the lack of dramatic tension. They killed off a lot of big characters, but they needed to show more of the individual battles that caused their deaths. A lot it was "Oh, yeah, by the way... this one's dead". Still, the things that we done well, were done, er... well.

Got this photo here

Best scene of this flik by far was a tasty Emma Watson cleavage shot. (AAANNNDD.... he's back ladies and gentlemen!) She's going to have to get used to that if she wants to have a career beyond this. Jessica Biel made a great transition after 7th Heaven by tastefully showing off her wares (which I'd normally post a link to), so she won't have to become HerHiney Grinder or anything that crazy, but Playboy maybe? HUGE HIT THERE!

What I think a lot of people miss about the Harry Potter series, whether you think it's for kids or just plain gay, is just how incredible a feat it was that they were able to pull off here, especially in a Hollywood climate that sucks more than George Michael in a bathroom stall. While none of the films will make your eyes roll to the back of your head like my favorite porn star Monique Alexander will, they were able to pull off 8 every solid films over a 10 year span that never changed the tone of the original book series enough to have he die-hards really hootin and hollering while still managing to keep the interests of everyone else. From the very start the cast has been full of actors with real chops, great performers every one, not the sort of run of the mill slob that's here today gone tomorrow like most of these clowns today. And as for continuity, one of things that really makes me want to piss in someone's eye on most occasions, they kept the same kids in the same roles throughout the entire run as allowed us watch these characters grow from children to adults. Something even Back to the Future couldn't even pull off between one and two (Claudia Wells played McFly's girlfriend only to be switched to Elisabeth Shue, don't fuck with the babysitter!).

Anyway you look at it, whether you liked anything about the series at all, you have to appreciate when something is well done, especially in a world where so little is these days.

Monique Alexander

SO... I didn't go nuts today, off on my usually looney tirade, and I'm reserving a change up for tomorrow. But I DID happen to catch the best article I've seen in a long time about why movies are such shit lately, Everything That's Wrong with Hollywood by Kyle Smith, which you can catch right here. Remember, if you're going to read reviews it has to be written by someone you somewhat agree with. Kyle Smith here is usually pretty good and he pretty much hits every point he makes here on the head. Lou Lumenick of the same paper is a total douche, and I'm not the only asshole who thinks so as evidenced right here, Why Lumenick Sucks Ass!. You're not going to take advice on much from someone you think is a jackass, not unless you're a retard too. The jury's still out on that indictment.

For now that's it. Let's see what I can come up with tomorrow. In parting just ask yourself one question....

WHY AM I A ASSHOLE?!

What's a Blow Job with a Condom on? Serisously?

Last night I had hurt my arm playing ball and had been joking with my friend that I can't even jerk off now, and she asked what would I do now? So I told her that that's what hookers and crackheads are for. But then I got to thinking about all those nights with my buddies at all those back room shit hole strip clubs when a girl took a pal of mine to the private section (private meaning it was concealed in shadow, you could still see everything), slipped the condom on, and.....

Now, I'm constantly saying that fluff girls make everything better. In case you don't know, fluff girls are the ones that walk around those big 100+ man gang bangs for porn shoots that are responsible for keeping all the dudes hard. Like my ex, they blow you just enough so that you HAVE to fuck.

I've known a lot of strippers in my time, and while I actually think most of them are great down to earth people, that's the life and the world they live in. You'd be hard pressed, no matter how high end the joint is or how hot the woman, to find an exotic dancer who hasn't taken a guy into the back room for the treatment. She may have just jerked off 6 Mexicans right off the back of a fruit truck and just grabbed your junk, only washing her hand by spitting on it, or it could be that she only does it for special cases like celebrities, but it's really all the same thing, isn't it? Even if you could feel a thing from her lips once she slides that bad boy on, is it worth the worry you have to take home once it hits you that she's been so well trained to slip a condom on before she slips it into her mouth and what her reasons for that are?

Me with Olivia Munn

About a year ago I met Olivia Munn, then star of G4's Attack of the Show, at one of her book signings. At the time she was the biggest woman in video games before trying to take that following and turn it into something bigger. Her star, and career, precipitously fell off the face of the planet from that move, showing the dangers of trying to reach too far too soon, and why you should be careful trying to expand beyond the scope of your talents. But in her reading that day she spoke of a disgusting fat slob big shot who had her come to his trailor when she was first breaking in. When she got there he was butt naked, sucking chicken grease off of his fingers, waiting for her to put it in her mouth. He wouldn't have done that if it hadn't worked many times before. Just like Roberto Alomar, or any Latin player in Major League Baseball up until 1996 or so, if you want to get into the league, you have to pay the price. So the next time you see a young star that you're just in love with, just remember that chances are extremely good they bent over a counter or took a shot in the mouth to get there. And I'm not just talking about the ladies. Just like the strippers.... that's the life and the world they live in.

Roberto Alomar - sucked dick to play baseball

Got AIDS after "allegedly" getting raped

by 2 men in a back alley in Mexico City

A few years ago my girlfriend had told me she wanted to marry me six weeks into the relationship and all the red flags went up. So I told her that I'd only get married if I could do it in an Elvis jumpsuit. Part of that was me being a wise ass. Part of that was trying to get her off the marriage ledge, afterall, what woman would go for that? But part of that was also because I'm so off the wall that the only type of person I should be spending the rest of my life with is the type that would love me marrying them in an Elvis jumpsuit. So why am I bringing this up?

My friend found this the other day in Women's World Magazine of all places. Elvis' favorite suit... The Peacock! Get ready ladies, the suit has presented itself, the time has come! The girlfriend I was speaking of actually went for the Elvis jumpsuit thing. I didn't need to actually do it, I just needed to know that she'd let me. So why am I single then? Because just like the fluff girls, she only put it in her mouth until I got hard, only I wasn't in line for the gang bang.

And so we've come full circle. What's a Blow Job with a Condom on? It's better than no Blow Job at all!

Peacocks DO fly! And.... it could always be worse.

Look at what I started! Maybe it's just the Reticular Activating System, but Peacocks are everywhere, and they're running wild!

This guy escaped from the Central Park Zoo the other day to perch himself up on a 5th floor window in Manhattan. Don't be the only one left on the block. Come hide with the herd and float with the flock....

I can't say what's going on with me, but I've been a special kind of asshole lately, snapping for no reason, getting on people's asses, it's not good. Whatever it is I constantly have to remind myself that it could always be worse. Now, I am a certified life coach and NLP practitioner, so I've done countless hours of research on positive thinking and all of that, and I do believe in it to an extent, but part of that is also appreciating what you have. Years ago I had gotten majorly depressed and lost about 35 pounds in a 2 week span, probably could have gotten really sick. What got me out of it was watching episodes of Party of Five, where every week Charlie got ball cancer or Neve Campbell got pregnant by some random stranger... or Scott Wolf found himself torn between smoking hot Amanda Beckett (Jennifer Love HugeTits) or that little boy he's had his eye on, and listening to The Cure over and over again.

Of course, if any of my buddies had come down into my basement dungeon apartment at the time and seen what I was up to they would have burned me on that. "Dude, what the fuck are you watching? And who the hell is crying on the radio? No wonder you want to kill yourself!" Still though, every week I would look at those people and say to myself, shit, it could always be worse... I could have ball cancer. And it's been a philosophy I've tried (though not always successfully) to keep in mind as I bang through life's daily bullshit.

That Lacy Chabert got really

fuckin hot, huh?

Speaking of being that special kind of asshole, I was watching chicks fight again last night, MMA this time, if you can call it that. This one had a really hot body, and kept getting into these ridiculous positions that made you want to grab your shit. But every time she picked her head up her face looked like Warwick Davis.

I can't say there's anything about the idea of banging Willow that gets me hard. Could you imagine being in the middle of it with her, she looks up at you, lust in her eyes screaming "You ARE great!". I wouldn't know whether to shit or wind my watch.

But no matter what you're going through you always have to think about the things that you do have, and if that still has you sitting on the couch with your head in your hands like the Great Al Birdy crying "Oh God, I can't wake up!" remember... you could always be this guy!

And if that doesn't work just be happy that you don't have ball cancer. And if you DO have ball cancer, just be happy that it's not cock cancer. And if you've got cock cancer, accentuate the positive...

"Ah shit dude, you got Cock Cancer? That fucking sucks"

"Maybe so, but look of the SIZE of this thing now"

You see, it's just one big world of shit, and we're all wrapped up in it. There aint nobody clean! So it's all about making the best of a shitty situation, like this guy

Or maybe that's a woman, I can't tell. But it's a nice sunny day, she's got herself a seat in the shade, relaxing, and enjoying herself a beer. What more could a fella possibly want out of life? But if that's not enough for you, you're day can't possibly be worse than this guy's in the video you're about to watch and absolutely HAVE to see...

All I can say is better him than me. Shit, I don't know about you, but my day just got a whole hell of a lot better.

Special thanks to Scotty and Robinson for all of your help with today's post. As my closest friend from college so beautifully put it... you'll always be that special kind of asshole to me!

Don't be the only one left on the block

Hide with the herd

Float with the flock

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!!!

Much like Amy Crackhouse and Steve Guttenberg's career, very unexpectedly I walked out of the house this morning to find my car battery dead, which has cut my time, and thus today's installment, short. Complacency is a problem only the comfortable suffer, and you only realize this when the shit hits the fan and disrupts your every day flow, which is why, as The Man would tell you, sometimes you need this. Fucked up things shake you out of the mundane daily exercise.

Mahoney almost never comes to mind unless I've been out doing way too much shit that no one is ever supposed to do and I start seeing Johnny 5 rolling around the streets. Short Circuit... HEH, you couldn't have picked a more perfect title; who'd have thought the same flik could take out Guttenberg and Ally Sheedy both? But this morning I find myself mourning the loss of the great Bubba Smith.

Who can forget this classic scene from Police Academy when Hightower tears the seat out of a small hatchback because it's the only way he can fit inside of it. It amazes me to no end how much attention people give when addicts, whores and scumbags in general are found in pools of their own puke, yet a man of this, uh, stature, is quickly dismissed with a simple, "huh!"

Bubba was a great college and pro football player before making a decent career acting, but the small roles he played had a huge impact. At least the first two Police Academy fliks were great, and impossible to imagine without Smith manning the Hightower!

But my best memory of Bubba Smith will always be the timeless classic Spare Tire Dixon from one of the greatest episodes of one of the greatest television shows of all time. Watch it right here.

YOU DIDN'T CROSS THE LINE BUNDY!!!

Ironically, this comes on the same day that it really hit me how much of an influence Married with Children had on my life. The writers of the show joked that they ran for 11 seasons on the same 5 jokes, but they deserve so much more credit for what an incredible job they did. I often tell people that I'm not really into much of anything, but whenever I happen across old re-runs it doesn't take long before I remember exactly which episode it is. You know every punchline that's coming and still manage to laugh you balls off every single time, no matter how often you see it.

Speaking of those that bought the farm recently, former NY Yankee pitcher Hideki Irabu offed himself about a week ago. George Steinbrenner called him a Fat Toad for being lazy, so of course I have to show a picture of Scott Brosius grabbing his tits, but everyone forgets that in 1998 and 1999 he put up two very solid seasons for World Championship teams, and if they had the chance today, the Yanks would gladly swap A.J. Burnett for him in a heartneat.

This this now the second Yankee that's died in my lifetime, but the reason this one in particular hurts is because before Irabu I had never in my life seen a pitcher bean a batter and then CHARGE THE PLATE! That shit was fuckin GREAT! I've been looking for video of that but so far have been unlucky. Once I get it though I'll be sure to give you a treat, and I don't mean the one in my pants.

For today, I'll cut it short here. It's sort of a sad note, not the haha funny I usually post, but one I felt I had to discuss. But I will leave you with another clip. The night I was born, while my mother was screaming in labor shittin me out, my old man sat in a movie theatre watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It became my favorite movie until I was about 16 and probably the biggest reason why I always wanted to write skit comedy. It probably also goes a long way of explaining why I'm so fucked in the head!

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!!!

I'm not quite dead yet. I think I'll got for a walk.

COCKBLOCKING MOMO'S!!!

If you're a dirty old man, and I am, you have to check out the movie Sucker Punch. I rented it last night and it really surprised me, coming in as a strange mix between "The Secret" and Alice in Wonderland. You know that I don't get too into telling you the entire movie when I'm describing them, but there were three storylines interacting following five smoking hot chicks. The way they transitioned between each was brilliant as was their use of camera angles. A lot of it reminded me of Hitchcock scenes where he would set the camera at one angle and really focus your eye on what your were supposed to be looking at. Then they'd cue the music and entire sections seemed like watching a music video that still somehow managed to tell the tale of the tape. And if that wasn't enough, they'd jump you into a great action sequence full of blood, mayhem, and hotties slashing and shooting. I don't know how no one has told me about this, but you should definitely check it out as a rental.

COCKBLOCKING MOMO'S

The flick got me thinking about a chick that I had been sleeping with a while back now because it was something I'm sure she'd really dig, and that got me thinking on an entirely different path. I'm pretty sure the two of us hate each other now; I was never anything more than cheap sex, she never had any intention of getting to know me (I feel so USED), and when she was done with that, she was done with me. I can't complain too much, my birthday was HOT, and that last time I really had her going. But along the way she picked up a MOMO exactly like Tucker from There's Something About Mary.

Every guy has had to deal with a clown like this at one time or another (unless you were the clown), you know the one, constantly full of shit just to kiss her ass, pretending to be into all the same shit she is, always doing whatever they can to make you look bad... all in the name of trying to get between the two of you, and trying to get with her himself, all the while keeping up the appearance that he's just the innocent friend looking out for her best interests. I had caught this clown several times making the most ridiculous statements that showed how full of shit he really was. It had gotten to the point where anytime I said anything to her at all, even after our talking slowed to a death crawl, the jackass would still feel compelled to one up me.

We all know that you can't point these things out to your lady friend. She'll take the "friends" side over yours every time, even when she knows you're right. And why wouldn't she? He's buying her tickets and taking her out to all the things she wants to do without having to ask and she never has to give up the ass to get it. Then she can get cocked by Dirty Big Dick on the side whenever she wants without having to justify anything she's doing to anyone, especially to herself. It's win-win for her everytime. You end up being just some jealous prick who's trying to control her. (That's one of my personal favorites actually, if you don't like like the idea of her running around with other dudes, you're trying to control her. WTF? )

But guess what pal, we all also know that it's never going to work. The minute she feels she has to give it up to get your bullshit, she's moving on to that next son of a bitch. You won't be bending her over (if she were into you like that, you wouldn't have to sling the shit you've been dealing), and all you do is fuck up my shit. And if, after months of ass kissing and buddy buddy bullshit, you still feel threatened by a guy who barely has anything to do with her... well that's a personal issue you need to look into. And that issue is this... you may not be gay, but... YOU'RE A FUCKIN FAGGOT!

For anyone looking for an explanation of what a MOMO is, because I'll be using it a lot, that last line pretty much sums it up.

There was more I wanted to get into on this, but the rant has gone on long enough so we'll leave it for later. But be sure to follow these points to stay out of this mess...

If you're girl has picked up a MOMO, dump her, dump her fast
If you're too into her to can her ass, ignore MOMO, he's just a harmless douche
Keep giving her the good cock
Silly Whoes collect MOMO'S. Real women do for themselves, they don't need some jackass kissing their ass, buying them shit, or playing games. Not having some weasel clinging on to them like a dingleberry hanging from an ass hair is worth whatever price they have to pay to them to do it on their own.
Ladies, be a real woman, not a Silly Whoe.
Guys, be a REAL MAN, not a fuckin MOMO
DON'T BE A FUCKIN FAGGOT, MOMO!

And finally, I promised you yesterday I'd post the video of Hideki Irabu charging the plate if I can find it. Well Scotty found it for me with a nice little bonus, The Strawman punching someone in the face. SO here you go.

Remember, you can't do Abs in 6 minutes. You can barely break a sweat in 6 minutes.

Don't get yourself caught in a Jersey Truck stop.

King of the Crazy Asshole's and the Planet of the Apes

Rise of the Planet of the Apes, or the true life story of why people suck, really surprised me this weekend. With the combination of how Hollywood destroys every old classic it can get it's hands on, and how much James Franco sucks balls (pretty much everything he's in blows), I was expecting this to suck more Tera Patrick on a quest for an AVN award. But it was really a very solid movie all around. The only real knock I have against it is, unless San Francisco is the world's capital for chimp experimentation, an Ape Auswitch if you will, where they got all the damn apes that are running around is a mystery. Still though, the acting was solid, good action when it needed it, with a well done storyline built on a premise that could actually make sense if it were to happen in real life. Had I seen this at home on video I probably would have thought it was great, but as it is, especially if you're a fan of the five original films, I think this is something worth checking out. Even with theatre prices I enjoyed my experience. (Click the AVN link, it's HOT!)

This one's going to be a little different today.

Last week I went on about the movie Sucker Punch, and how much I was really into that flik. Well it seems that it wasn't done with me, and taught me a valuable lesson. When I went to return the video to the Red Box (what's not to love about Red Box) there was a couple looking for something to watch. As I stood waiting, the DVD in my hand, I pointed the movie out to the guy and told him "if you're into trippy shit, check this one out."

Now, from a social dynamics point of view I did everything right if you want to open a set. If you follow the notion that 'what's in the way IS the way', you have to start talking to the biggest pain in the ass there, and once they accept you you've got easy access to their friends. So once this guy sees I'm just talking about a flik and not making a move on his girl, sure enough he lets her and I get into it, and sure enough she's looking at me like she wants to take me behind the dumpster and, uh....

(I highly suggest you read The Mystery Method, written by master Pick Up Artist Mystery. I've had to read a lot on social dynamics and why we choose they people we do in our lives, but this is by far the best of them. Everything he talks about is 1000% scientifically based and backed, and is proven to work most of the time)

Master PUA Mystery.

Don't let the hat fool you,

this guy's a god damned genius!

But the truth is, I wasn't thinking about any of that. It was just something that I happened to enjoy so much that my passion took over and I was able to sell them on the flik because I wasn't trying to sell them anything at all. I wasn't being full of shit, I was genuinely psyched to be able to share something with complete strangers because of how much I loved it, and it was all completely natural, free and easy.

AND THAT'S WHERE IT HIT ME! Most of the time when we need people to buy into what we're doing, whatever the situation, selling yourself to a girl you're trying to pick up, bringing in customers to a business, come see my show, buy my album, listen to my podcast, read my blog, yada yada yada, we're so concerned with the end result, with getting what we want out of them, that that becomes our focus rather than how great we actually think the thing we're showing them is. And because of that it all seems forced and unnatural, like pulling teeth. What person in their right mind is going to invest any of their time, money or back end goodies into anything that you made sound awkward and painful? NOBODY!!!

For nearly two years I've been struggling to get my books VPI the Saga Begins and A Loaded Portrait, two excellent books that you'd really enjoy if you read this blog, to sell without any clue of what I've been doing wrong. But what's the biggest selling point to anything? What has gotten you, far beyond any other factor, to check out new things that you never would have considered before?

It's some random jackass telling you "That shit was GREAT! You NEED to see this shit!" so full of passion that you can see their eyes light up, and they're so excited, so into it that you start to get pumped up for it yourself. And when something resonates with you so strongly, like a film from the red box, that you get that pumped to tell people about it, even though it's not your work and you have nothing to gain.... well, that's the exact effect we're all going for isn't it? That's where stars are born. And that's why every success guru in all the land will tell you that the number one thing that every person must have in order to "make it" is pure unbridled passion for what they're doing. Because how can you get anyone else so pumped about what you do if you don't feel that way about it yourself?

And that brings me to myself, this blog, and you. For most of my life I've been worried if I'd ever find my audience, ever find my group of people, find where I fit in. I've always been confident in my ability to write, but never in getting others to hear what I had to say. Most of my life everyone around has dismissed me, "You're just a crazy asshole."

In the short time that I've been doing this, however, I've come to realize how much I love to do so. And though the audience to now has been small, many of you have told me that you look forward to it every day. As an artist, I don't know what greater praise one can ever receive. Maybe I am just a Crazy Asshole, but I've come to embrace that, and many of you have told me how much you think along the same lines as I do. So the lesson is this... don't worry about where you fit in, who you're allowed to play with, that will only get you a boatload of wasted talent, low self esteem and heartache. BE a Crazy Asshole, and other like asshole's will find you. But always do your thing regardless of the critics, then you start you're own group.

And please tell people about this page, but only if you love it as much as I do.

As long as I have a handful of people looking forward to reading this page, and I enjoy doing, you'll be hearing from me... the King of the Crazy Assholes!

And now I leave you with some Tom Petty, Learning to Fly. It seems fitting.

You Can't Argue With an Idiot!

That's what my Uncle always used to tell me. You can't argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Though it could be put just as easily that you shouldn't argue with the ignorant. Now, I grew up with nothing, had nothing for most of my life, but I've been lucky enough to have a great deal of experiences, first hand, that have changed my perspective on how I look at things. The truth of the matter is though, nothing that I know means a thing, because I still have nothing, and as this video here will prove, people will only listen to others that they think have a certain amount of authority over them.

For a good chunk of my life I was stuck surrounded by the type of jackass that never knew shit about shit, never had an experience outside of their own neighborhood, never had to know the fear of choosing between paying the rent or eating, and on the rare occasion they did go somewhere outside of their own backyard, it would be to a Cancun resort, or a spring break. Staying at a hotel at a beach does not a world traveler make, no matter where that beach is. The problem is that every single other jackass they encounter in their life is that same kind of jackass, doesn't know shit about shit, never been out there in the real world, so they encourage each other into the belief that this is how it is. And they're the SHIT! Because they're too stupid, or sheltered, or inexperienced to know otherwise. Sound familiar?

Yeah, a good portion of my life was like living in an episode of Jersey Shore. The people I was surrounded by were exactly this sort of retard (And if you like that shit, guess what....). I once knew a guy that swore everything in the world, ever, was invented in Italy. But when you're not part of Club Special Ed, but still feel compelled to shine a little light on these fucktards, it will cause nothing but problems for you. Take 3 morons that have no clue about anything other than what goes on inside of that bag pulled over their heads, but have them agree with one another, and soon they'll be tearing you apart; you're the fucking idiot no matter what the facts say. This is the same exact shit that kept the earth flat, the sun revolving around the earth, Black's 3/5 a person and Jews the reason for the downfall of man everywhere for centuries. Why couldn't that bag over their heads be plastic?

But what brings this on today isn't the fuckin mental midgets that a lot of us have to escape before we're ever able to find acceptance, success or real happiness. No, what brings this on is another animal, one possibly far worse, and by that I mean pseudo-intellectual Brooklynites. Not the ones born and raised in Bed-Sty or Bensonhurst, but the ones transplanted from whatever white boy world they came from to be as "cool" as they want to be. Of course, they could be Manhattanites too, or transplanted to Boston or Philly, what have you, it's all the same. I'm talking about those hipster clowns (Funny, hipsters... they all swear they're not hipsters....). The ones who gather from their small corners and come together (because they really all do settle in the same trendy areas) to stroke each other and call themselves New Yorkers because they've lived here for a short time, all the while looking down on the natives as if we're all that fucking idiot from the Jersey Shore.

I had spoken earlier about Cockblocking Momos, and when I went to share something in the article I saw that this had been posted about surfing at Rockaway Beach by the exact kind of jackass I was just going on about. It brought me back to a previous conversation where I had to explain why surfing at Rockaway Beach was one of the nastiest things that I've ever heard. I've lived within a 15 minute ride of that Beach for most of my life, and most people who have know exactly how disgusting and polluted that water is. To make a long story short, my friend Michelle put it best when she said "I wouldn't take a SHIT in that water". The response I got to my warning was a posting from the NYC board of health stating the beaches were clean.

I've never been to Blarney Castle to kiss the Blarny Stone, but I've heard from several reliable sources that would know much more than I do that one of the great gags of the area is that some of the local townsfolk often like to get loaded and piss all over the thing in the middle of the night, knowing that tourists are coming in to touch their lips to it. How true that is I don't know, but do you honestly think an area that bases a large portion of their economy on you kissing the back end of their rocks for luck would ever want you to find out that Townie Fuckface and his five brothers have a regular Friday night circle jerk all over their stone of destiny? That kind of news getting out would ruin them.

And by the same principal, is the New York City board of health going to tell millions of people during the hottest days of the year that their beaches are too filthy and polluted to go near? Ah, take a nice swim at the beach (warning, sand covered in aids syringes and the water could give you cancer). FUCK NO they wouldn't, that shit causes riots and mass hysteria. That sort of news is only released when there's no other choice, when it's right out there and noticeable, which incidentally, has happened several times over the years at Rockaway Beach.

But surely if an article is in the New York times (the most credible news source of all because they NEVER make up their own facts) then it must be true, right? Articles written by writers who aren't from around here about people from Japan doing what very few that actually grew up near that beach would even DARE is all the proof one needs. I guess I don't know what I'm talking about after all.

I still have nothing, nothing but this blog, you good fans, and a degree in Social Science, which qualifies me to speak about these exact things. But even the points I make on matters I've studied extensively meet the toughest resistance from even my closest friends, because as Milgrim said, I don't appear to be coming from a position of authority, so what the fuck do I know?

But take this lesson from the once great Chevy Chase on why you should ALWAYS listen to other people who may know more about certain things from real life experience and the consequences of thinking you know more than they do

You could end up with balls in your mouth. You'd be lucky if that's all it is.

The bottom line though is that fighting with these people will only give you a headache and possibly drive you to the top of a bell tower. They'll never learn because they really don't want to, there's comfort in thinking you know everything, even when you don't know shit at all. And much like proving the earth is round, showing them and forcing them to believe it can be a monumental task that leaves your life in shambles.

Then again.... the greatest leaps forward in the history of man have come from proving the idiots wrong.

Just don't waste your time or energy on them, getting caught up in the fight.

THE TOUGHEST WOMAN ALIVE!!!

Talk about your dead weeks. I can't remember anything going on that's forced everyone to scream it from the mountain tops, which makes relevant topical conversation pretty difficult, but this is how "credible" news sources like the NY Times end up writing puff pieces about swimming in Rockaway sewage and taco stands serving whatever meat they fished out of it.

At the same time, it gives one a chance to either be creative or pull old shit out of your ass. Sometimes both. With that in mind, this had come up in random conversation on about four separate occasions over the past three days, so I figured I'd show it again here. Is she toughest woman alive? Watch this video and decide for yourself.

In case you don't know, that's one of my five sisters making a perfect block of home plate. She's one of very few women that have ever played in the league, and she's been on the team for years now. First, notice how she makes a near text book block, steps in front, plays the ball, then turns to make the tag. And of course, how this fucking douchebag jumps through her from about five feet.

The video cracks me up on a lot levels, and brings a tear to my eye. First, she stands in there and takes a shot. Then she holds up the ball to show she held on before rolling around the ground in pain. Her knee was completely wrecked as a result here and needed ACL surgery to repair. Then her husband and I argue the play before making sure she's alright. But that's fine, she can take it. I once busted her face all over the place while we both played a pop up, she caught my shoulder right in the grill. She was out there again the next week. And I can't tell you how many times a finger would point in the wrong direction and she'd just pop it back in and get out there.

Well not only did she get right back out there again this season after the knee shredding, but she just started training to enter the Tough Mudder this coming November in New Jersey. It's a 10-12 mile obstacle course developed by the British Special Forces to weed out the men from the boys, but they haven't met my sister. This competition is just insane, there's even a part of the challenge where you have to crawl through live electrical wires, you really have to check it out. Maybe women are supposed to be dainty, not supposed to get down and dirty with the boys, but fuck that! You can never, should never, deny what your soul stirs you to do, and she's a warrior.

The truth is, and this is just my lead in paying homage to all women everywhere, that the toughest, the strongest people in my life have always been women. I didn't have many positive male role models growing up, which could be why I turned into such an over the top guys guy, but the ladies always had to get down and dirty because they didn't have any other choice, mostly because the "men" in their lives handed them the shit end of the stick. And they came through. They had to. You show me a single mother (the kind that take care of their kids, not the ones having more for a bigger welfare check, not the ones looking for some dude with money to bail them out of their shit) or a woman fighting to live her dream and I'll show you a hero.

BUT.... that's also why chicks piss me off so much when they do the dopey shit that they do. With guys I expect it to happen. There are two things that I can guarantee about the clown in the video, one is that if it were me back there he never would have attempted to run through the plate that way (I taught offensive and defensive line for years, good luck with that), and two, this fuckin douche has a hot girlfriend.

The entire "women love bad boys" deal is a complete and total myth to anyone that knows social psychology and the real reasons behind why we do the shit that we do. People are great at justifying the stupid shit that they get themselves into so that they can live with themselves, and the "bad boy" image is just a way for chicks to justify why they're chasing after some asshole who doesn't give a fuck about them either way, specifically because he doesn't give a fuck about them either way, and they NEED to make him give a fuck; The same kind of cocksmith that would run down a woman at home plate. That my friends, is all about percieved value, which we'll get into another time, but it is scientfic fact, not my opinion. Don't get pissy if you do it either, educate yourself, and stop being a dopey broad.

Back to the homage, and speaking of women who I think are absolutley fuckin fantastic, way back in January of 2010 I did an interview with Dominique of Comics Period when I was still doing my weekly podcast, Deez Nutz! The show got to be too serious, which I hope to avoid here, but this interview was GREAT!

A few days ago I was talking about why you have to be passionate about what you're doing in order to be successful, and that was my very first impression of her from the interview. The quality of her work speaks for itself and since then she appears to have blown up, which I couldn't love more because she deserves it. She wrote a piece about her first experience at the San Diego Comicon, SDCC the first time around which you should check out. I've wanted to go there for as long as I can remember, but for now all I could do is see it through her eyes.

What would be really interesting to me would be for us to re-listen to that interview and see how much of what she had talked about happened the way she had hoped.

One of the many things you have to do when blogging is to constantly find ways to get your work noticed, so you keep track of who's looking and how they're finding your page. Well, some odd things pop up here and there. The picture up top is from Bikini Girls on Ice from BGOI Films. Somehow people were finding my page from their site and so I had to check it out. Both of these sites are just sick, seriously, they look great with some kick ass effects, so even if you're just into web design you should check them out. So when I got to the page I see chicks in bikini's getting hacked up... OF COURSE I'M IN!!! But if you check out the trailor it actually looks pretty fuckin good.

In doing this piece I had to notice that I seem to have a bit of a Jekyl and Hyde personality when it comes to the ladies. On one hand, very often I'm tearing them apart with all of the horrible things that they do or completely objectifying them in a sexual manner. As a society it seems all we ever hear about anymore, at least the stories that get out there on a mass scale, are women running around acting like skanks and whores or JLo's 8th husband. And every single last example of every woman I've had in my dating life has been as if it came straight out of a manual for reasons why chicks deserve to end up with assholes and treated like shit.

On the other hand, pretty much everything that I've shown off in this spot, links and shouts and everything else, has been for women. That wasn't done by design and certainly not trying to get with any of them (something I've long ago stopped bothering with), but because these were people that were doing things I'm really into and thought I could help. And when it comes to my family and friends, I could never hope to have anyone better in my life than the ladies that I do. I guess what it really shows is the disparity between how truly great and terrible women can be and the many reasons for it.

I can't and won't appologize for talking about (or showing) tits and ass ("Hugo Posh isn't just tits, he isn't just ass... well... Hugo Posh is those things..."), afterall, I AM a guys guy, and I love tits, and I love ass.

But what I'd really like is to hear from all you, as comments on this post, or comments on the facebook links, some more great stories about the toughest, or the best, women that are or have been in your life.

So today wasn't Crazy Asshole me, to be honest I've felt like shit the last few days and all that ranting takes its share of energy. I could use someone to pick me up, dust me off, kick me in the ass and get me back out there.

Back home we call that a good woman.

London Riots AND Why we're all SCREWED!

If you don't know already there have been riots going on in London for about a week now. While I haven't looked far enough into it to find out what caused it all, it DID bring about this article on why, socially, we've gotten ourselves into this position in the first place. The article is written about the English, but everything he says can and does apply to why we're screwed in the United States also. Simply put, it's the best article I've ever read.

The biggest point he hits, towards the end of the article (aside from what my buddy Mike, who sent me the article, says is the best term he's ever heard to describe low lives; Feral Humans), is that at the root of the problem is that we have no Ethos.

Joseph Campbell, who was the world's authority on comparative religion, not only explained but showed, that every religion across the Earth, EVER, was essentially exactly the same, teaching the same exact lessons. And those lessons were taught through bible stories and mythology, ritual dance and so on. The point of all of it was to teach us how to be adults, and how to get by in a tough world when our mentors were no longer here to guide us.

25 years ago, in a television interview which later became the book "The Power of Myth", Campbell stated that the problem we have is that "We have no Ethos, or way of doing things" and the closest thing we have to mythology are movies and comic books. If you read this blog on a regular basis you know what trash most movies are these days.

I had read "The Power of Myth" just before the ex took off on me in the middle of the night, and that book probably saved my life. But beyond that, that was the book that started me on my spiritual and psychological journey towards Personal Performance Consulting (yeah, I like that!) But that term, Ethos, the way we do things, stuck with me, ringing in my head over and over again over the years.

John Wayne was once the ideal of what it was to be an American man. As the story goes, he was such a symbol of what it was to be American that Jospeh Stalin actually sent the KGB to assinate him, figuring his death would be a crushing blow to American morale. He escaped Soviet agents.... twice. I had never met my mother's father, but between my parents and my uncles I was surrounded by John Wayne so much that until I was about 7 years old I actually thought he was my grandfather. That goes a long way towards explaining why I have the attitude that I do in regards to what it is to be a man, like generations of Americans before me, I thought that was how it was done, he was my example.

But John Wayne famously said that "A man's got to have a code, something to live by" speaking about the importance of having personal standards to hold oneself to. And it doesn't take much more than sitting through five minutes of MTV to see that those standards simply don't exist anymore. We have no standards. We hold ourselves up to nothing.

Just like with Joseph Campbell, I tend to bring up Anthony Robbins quite often. Simply, they know what they're talking about. In his book Unlimited Power, Robbins talks about the 7 essential character traits that every person needs in order to be successful at anything in life. One of those is value, and by that he means a list of things that are most important to you. But when you ask people to make that list of these things, more often than not the way that they live their lives is directly in conflict with what's most important to them. For instance, a woman may state that the most important thing to her is a loving home and family, yet when she dates, the men she chooses aren't the type you can settle down with. And then we wonder why we're so unhappy.

And until recently I had been doing the exact same thing without realizing it. I wasn't holding myself up to my own standards, which I thought were pretty lofty. As it turns out, that's not the case at all; it's that others have none at all. Or the ones that they have are twisted.

But if you think it's bad in England where they're having hoodlums riot, it's far worse over here. Someone I used to know, who's actually from England, was talking about how they wanted to see the upcoming film Immortals. The film is based on Greek Mythology, which is still taught in schools over there. This person couldn't believe it when I told them that they haven't taught that in schools in the US in my lifetime. Of course, this same person, who is a talented artist, later tried to put me down based on what I currently do for a living because their career as a graphic designer was more "professional" than my pushing papers.

The picture that you see above you was taken from the board of my classroom from the very first lesson that I had ever given as an English teacher. If you can read what's on the picture, I had on the board The Knight's Code, an ideal of chivalry taken from a distant past that speaks to how nobel folks are expected to act. This was the standard that I expected my students to uphold in my classroom, and I hoped that it would somehow carry over into the rest of their lives.

When I walked into that classroom most of my students reading and writing comprehension scores were in the 30%. They were keeping up with the Kardashians, could tell you everything about them, people that are famous for exactly.... shit, I don't know, but never saw old Rod Serling Twilight Zone episodes, never saw Casablanca, the greatest love story ever told. The kids could tell you everything about the Jersey Shore, but couldn't write a paragraph describing what they did the night before. The girls would sing all the lines to whatever new hip-hop song they were into, but didn't understand the lyrics enough to see that the singer was actually calling the very same girls listening to the song whores, or understand enough to know that if you walk through the streets projecting that image, then that's exactly what people will think of you, and eventually exactly what you would become. And we aren't even talking about inner city kids here, these were white kids from good families.

So I broke them down and showed them the better parts of life, or trIed to. I had them read Poe, O'Henry and others, forced them to show me that they understood what they were reading, find the deeper meaning in what's out there (Incidentally, we only use 30% of the vocabulary that Poe used in the 1840's. We literally are 70% stupider). When I left that classroom only 1 student was reading and writing below the 60%, and he didn't do a damn thing all year. I made 21K that year to do so, the lowest salary I had brought home since my first job at 20 years old.

As a reward for my work, the principal threatened to sue me twice, once over a matter of another male teacher allowing his 13 year old female students to lay across his desk in their skirts at lunch time without other adults present. And I was told that I couldn't handle the students. I vowed never to teach again.

My point in telling that story is to illustrate how screwed we really are. Even when we see the issues at hand we're not allowed to do anything about it. We're not allowed set those standards we lack and teach or expect others to follow them. And should we try, we're the ones examples are made of, in all the wrong ways possible.

Which brings us back to the Brit. While this person does have a professional job, and is talented, how many business logo's would they have to design in order to match the impact that I had by teaching even one of my students HOW TO READ? How many marketing flyers are required to have the same effect of even one of these kids taking that Knights Code to heart and actually becoming a better person in life?

Yet socially, the way people look at things these days, the Brit is exactly right, they're a professional and I'm a broken puke and a loser. What makes the difference is how much money you make and how cool other people with no standards who can barely read think your work is. So even when we do attempt to uphold standards, even when we follow an Ethos, a way of doing things, what standards are they we're living up to? Is the way we do things these days even close to they way they SHOULD be done?

It doesn't matter. And do you know why?

Cause Snooki want smoosh smoosh!

And THAT is why we're all screwed!

Inside Why We're FU....ED!

With monsoon season still gripping the city and the myterious illness that dropped me like 3rd period French, the weekend was a total washout. For most of it I couldn't help but feel like the people caught in the preview of Hereafter, that Matt Damon flik that no one bothered to watch.

Speaking of Matt Damon, laid up like Sonny Bono after a ski trip I happened to catch the last hour of the documentary "Inside Job". It was really disturbing to see how the world economy got destroyed and how the people responsible are not only right back in power, but stronger than ever. Buckle in folks, cause it's only going to get worse.

I got you, babe!

Between that and the 2005 documentary "Why We Fight", which is another must watch about the Military Industrial Complex, if you really think that the American people have anything at all to do with who or what is running the country, or that the powers that be have your interests in mind or all, that you're even a blip on their radar.... you're kidding yourself.

The amazing thing about all of it is that now that we live in a world where all the information we could possibly want is at our finger tips with a few key words and the wave of a mouse, we've used that power to effectively cut ourselves off from one another and collectively pull the wool over our own eyes. Watch these two videos then tell me if you still think the American government couldn't be responsible for 9/11.

I'm a sucker for pretty much any show where they're saving some failing business, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares is one of my favorite, so when I saw Bar Rescue last night on Spike TV I was IN! I couldn't care less whether or not the so called experts they bring in are experts at all. For years my job was to see how small businesses were losing money and show it them, and there's something about doing things right that just makes me hard. This was great in the sense that they give you specific stats most people don't think about that are necessary to achieve if you want success. For instance, successful bars shoot for 70% of their customers to be women, so they cater to bringing women in. It makes perfect sense to anyone that goes bar hopping, if there are chicks in there, the dudes will follow. Once it turns into a sausage party, it's time to bounce. It's a good model for most businesses, get the women, the men will follow. It's no coincidence that movies that really make HUGE money at the box office are the girlie films that chicks go to see with their girlfriends, yet still have enough action to entice their boyfriend to see it too.

But the thing that really gets me with these shows is how disgusting the places they walk into are. If you knew the what nastiness lurks in the not so dark corners of pretty much every place you eat and drink at you'd either be sick to your stomach or feel as invincible as Monty Burns. YES, Invincible!

I've worked in several restaurants in my life and can't tell you how many cooks and chef's didn't wipe their ass or wash their hands after dropping a hot one, then went right out to cook without gloves. I remember a rat the size of my dog once got speared to the wall in the kitchen at the first job I ever had, a Japanese/Korean fusion restaurant in Manhattan that's no longer there. The Chef poked it with his chopsticks and said, "Heh, Mickey" before going back to touching your food with those same chop sticks.

In Vegas I was the office manager of restaurant that's also no longer there. Tony Fuckface, the clever little nickname we had for the chef (possibly the foulest human I've ever met, and I've known some winners) because he looked like Sam Kinison's uglier brother and liked to watch while strangers nailed his much younger wife would host regular after hours orgies in the kitchen... on all the cooking surfaces.

I had spent some time when I first came back clearing out the basement of a rather famous building in Forest Hills, Queens.... it was so disgusting that rats the size of my foot would die at my feet. The only time a rodent will do that is when the place is so infested that it would rather take its chances with you than get eaten alive by its brethren. Well... the food and drink for a particular restaurant that used to be a Beefsteak Charlie's is all stored in that same basement... I absolutely refuse to go in there. Though, I have to say, I get a hearty chuckle when I see the trendy ladies that don't have time for me sitting there ordering off of the sushi menu...

I was going to go so much further with all of this, take it in another direction, but it's all gotten away from me and the ramble has gone on long enough. And now I forgot what I was talking about, so... until next time....

BEWARE THE MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX!!!

Shit... now I'm on the list. If my car mysteriously crashes.....

At least I'm on someone's list.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name....

There's an odd energy in the air this morning, and I can't put my finger on exactly what it is, all I know is that something is in the works. If you can, hit play on the video and listen to the theme music while you read today.....

After an entire weekend, sick, stuck in the house, I was getting stir crazy, I had to get out of there, but alas, at 9PM on a Monday night and real football still a ways off there isn't much to do out there. That's life as you get older and most of the people you know are married with kids. Which got me to thinking about all those days when they weren't, or still hung around if they were.

"Is the rain ever going to stop?" I heard from a friend. No, it isn't, Climate Change, baby!

"The economy sucks! When are things going to get better?" Not any time soon, so buckle in. Like I was saying yesterday Inside Why We're... the system is rigged like a Vegas Casino and the house always wins.

"Why can't I find anybody? dating sucks" Yes it does Brett, yes is does. And they're looking for someone to fill their holes, not to fill yours, so accept you might be stuck in that cycle for a while.....

And then it hit me like a Pimp on his bottom whoe

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name....

I'm never so good as I am when I have that place that I can always go and be surrounded by friends, knock down a few, and laugh about whatever daily nonsense is going on. In high school it was the basement of a couple of friends, you never had to call, just show up. If they weren't home their mom would throw down the keys.

At Oklahoma State it was the house. My buddies moved in during my 2nd semester and we would have parties where a thousand kids would walk through the door by 10:30 and picked up by cops stumbling around, drunk, 3 miles away by the end of the night. It was right across the street from the dorms and though I didn't live there I might as well have; I had my own key.

McCann's in Astoria was good to me for a long time. I think I was in there literally every night for about a year until the party moved somewhere else. You never do so well (and I mean with the ladies) as you do on your home turf, and it's comforting to know you can just show up and someone you can chill with will be there.

And in Vegas, there was Larry's Villa, the strip club with pregnant dancers and meth addicts that I called my bar, and the Garage. All hail the Garage! (Pronounced Gah - Ridge).

Larry's Villa

No matter how old you get you're still always that kid in the tree house, your home made fort, where all the members of the club gather and find sanctuary from the outside world. Once there, even for just a few hours, everything is ok, the world is right again.

We all need our sanctuary's. But where does one go when you no longer have that place? The real beauty the show "Cheers" is that it captured all of that perfectly. It's why we fall in love with things like Seinfeld, Night Court and Married with Children. Its why we fall in love with the bar down the block, even though its a dump and half the customers are passed out with three green teeth. For some of us, the lucky ones of us, that place is our job, and the rest of the world is a cake walk from there. I've been lucky enough to have a few of those. You always look back on them as something that just can't be replaced.

And looking back, at these places, at the people who filled them, and filled us, it isn't something out of a Bruce Springsteen song trying to re-live our glory days... no, it's more akin to your old favorite room, to where the heart is; Home.

I never had that room in my parents house, I always moved around too much to set roots to a place that way, at one point we up and left about every 8 months. It's difficult to find that place in the world where you know exactly who you are and where you fit in like that, which I guess is why my passion has always been for those people in my life. Why once I call you friend, in my heart, you'll always be just as if we were transported back to that place again, that basement, that house, that bar, that gah-ridge.

So where do you go where everybody knows your name? Where is it that they're always glad you came?

Huh huh, he said came!

It's times like this that we need that the most. So grab me a beer and save me a seat. I'll be right there.

Cleavage, Haircuts and Social Value

I had finally gotten my hair cut last night after a long time in need and it fell in line with the exact conversation that I had been having just before I left the office, which fell in line with exactly what I'd been saying for months now, and not because the barber butchered my head.

Don't worry pal, I'd be crying too if someone made me look like Corey Feldman in Friday the 13th. An aside about Corey Feldman, he claims Hollywood is full of kid touchers. His claim.... he liked it.

This reminds me of the real reason I play Sir Not Appearing in this High School Yearbook. My sister gave me a haircut that made me look like Brian Bosworth, "The Boz"....

Enough said.

The barber shop that I go too isn't giving me cuts that make the ladies swoon and drop trou at the site of me, just a simple solid job that never makes me look like the clown with the rag wrapped on his face, yet I've been going there for years now.

And why? Because they give me something that The Boz couldn't give the Seattle Seahawks and Feldman couldn't give any of his roles after The Goonies.... and that's VALUE!

ANDY! You... GOONIE!

Actually, if you're a fan of The Goonies you should probably check out that site I linked too.

I talk about it all the time, but it can't be separated, every single human interaction everywhere, everytime comes down to a matter of VALUE. In other words, "How does this make my life better?". If it does, then the people will come, if not, ghost town ladies and gents.

There are three barber shops around the corner from my house, yet I drive a ways away to keep going to my place, just for an average cut. Again, why? Because for $12 I'm always greeted with a handshake and a smile. We talk about women and how to make money, two things that consume most of my mind. I've started to learn the game of soccer sitting there, and at the end, a hot towel cleans the garbage little hairs from my head and clears my sinus', something they don't do anywhere else.

No, there's no Cedric the Entertainer in this place (too bad though, he was funny as hell in that flik), they're a bunch of Russian Jews, but what they do extremely well is, as Henry Ford always said, they show you have much they can give for a dollar as opposed to what they can get out of you for it.

When I lived in Vegas it took me a while to find a barber I got the same good feeling out of, that made me feel I was getting VALUE, making my life better. Then I came upon a small place where an unbelievable Mexican beauty would do the cut, all the while fondling my head and shoving right where I got the full glimpse of her....

No one spoke a word of English in the place, but it didn't matter. All I had to do was utter 4 and 1 and get ready for the show, all for a measely $10. Oh, and she cut my hair too.

Beautiful women have it easy it that sense, without having to think or worry about it when they walk into a room or post something on the net their VALUE speaks for itself. The mistake many of them make is in thinking that the wares that they're showing, outside of a little bathroom material (maybe a little more for those few, those lucky few), provide the rest of us with enough VALUE to make us dip into our pockets to make THEIR lives better without any more effort than showing up. (In many cases they're right)

Life's a party if you're a Hotty

Hold up, the cleavage made me forget where I was going with this.....

OH YEAH! Literally, every single human interaction comes down to the question "How does this person make my life better?" or what value does this person add to my life, even your friends. Just think about that, when people you know get too serious, or they're kind of a drag, you really only put yourself around them when you absolutely have to. But when they're fun to be around you put yourself there every chance you get, and that's the VALUE they bring you, afterall....

You can't put a price on a good time!

Or was that...

Dyn-o-MITE!

Unfortunately, 99% of the world is running around looking at everyone and everything in terms of "How does this make my life better?", how it adds VALUE to THEM. But like my barber, or Henry Ford, success comes when we start to think in terms of "How can I make YOUR life better?"... "How can I add VALUE to YOU?"

But then, if we all thought that way, there would be no greed, no violence, no hatred... the world would be a beautiful place. Speaking of.....

For no other reason than I think this is HOT!!!

I'm angry this morning... And a parade of clowns...

And I couldn't say why.

All I know is that I dreamt last night that I finally spent the night with the woman of my dreams, and when I woke up this morning it was 45 minutes late and she wasn't there, but in her place was this indescribable rage

I don't know if its better or worse to know exactly who that person is for you, especially since if you ever actually got with them they wouldn't be the person of your dreams, but your reality. It's almost a never ending kick in the ass. But then, Anthony Robbins used that energy to become what we know of him today. He lived next door to his dream girl, had to watch as she ran off banging one guy after another, guys with money that he didn't have; he was broke.

But that's not it.

Have you ever felt as if you we on a small boat with no sail or oars in the middle of a dead lake, nothing's moving anywhere and nothing you're doing can change that? That's a metaphor for life, of course. That's usually when Jason pops out and drags you under

But this screaming from this anger, whatever it is, wherever it comes from, letting it out, at the end of the day amounts to little more than howling at the moon

Since acting out in that sort of way really gets nothing done except alienate every one you know though, and makes you feel like a total jackass, you might as well be howling at the moon in a clown suit

Do you see what that kind of behavior gets you? And I've long since decided that if I was going to get caught out there having anything to do with clowns, it was going to be this one

Maybe if I'd been dreaming of her instead I'd have woken up with a smile on my face, grabbing my honker! Officially, this in now my favorite clown of all time. If life is just a circus anyway, how do I get into hers?

Times like this require a change in energy, you have to do your best to look at the things you appreciate in your life. For instance, the other night it only cost me $1 to be reminded how much Nicholas Cage sucks

Yeah, Season of the Witch was total horsesh.... hey, I'm trying to stop cursing here..... but then, how the hell did I not see that coming, right?

Thank God for real life Superheroes like Master Legend! You really need to see this. Seriously. You do.

I was first introduced to Master Legend in the documentary Superheroes. There are real life superheroes out there, they walk amongst us. And if you haven't yet had the pleasure, I highly recommend this flik. There are no words to accurately describe it. And I'm almost positive that a certain lady I know parties with the Brooklyn chapter of heroes from time to time. This feeling in my bones almost guarantees it.

And how do I forget my love for The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia? IMPOSSIBLE!!!

Honestly, I tried to sit through this, tried, almost had someone tie me down so I could, but I couldn't get through even 3 minutes of it. It was because they were too ugly. Seriously, that's what did it. But I promise you one day.... one day....

Though I should feel a kinship with these folks. You see, I'm just New York City White Trash, what we call SHANTY! That's a shanty up above. That could be me on that porch. In Broad Channel. That's precisely how I know how nasty it is to surf in the Rockaways. You see, you can't be happy until you accept who you are, embrace it. And now that I have, in the few short moments that it took me to write this, my anger is gone.

And now, my spirits lifted, my soul is free to pursue that woman of my dreams.

In the immortal words of my hero, my Captain... Master Legend....

"When a man's been injured as many times as I have.... he deserves a beer!"

Oh Captain, my Captain. I think I'll go get one.

With a little help from my friends.....

If you can, click play on the video, it's another soundtrack for the day.

It appears that we've started a revolution! My buddy Mike has started a spot of his own which you should definitely check out; Ramblings of a Fat Necked Zilch.

I met Mike twenty years ago now way back in our high school Creative writing class. That class was the most fun that I've ever had doing anything in my life and Mike was an integral part of our sketch comedy team, so I have absolutely no doubt that he'll be terrific and that you'll enjoy hearing what he has to say.

Back then all I wanted to do with myself was write for Saturday Night Live, and if you look at the cast picture from above you can pick out the heavyweights that were on the show at the time and why it may have been so inspirational to a creative mind. I don't see Mike Myers in there, but he was a huge part also, who can forget Wayne's World? Party on! Of course, that was just before the show completely sucked like it has for the past 15 years now.

I knew that I had something as a writer when I wasn't allowed to work with certain members of the class because we were too good to work together, and as I'm told, the teacher (head of the English department) used my work for years afterwards to show other students how its done.

What I'm amazed at is how many friends that I still have and kept in touch with from my days at Francis Lewis High School and what incredible people that each and every one of them turned out to be. While that may not be such a big thing for many of you reading here, New York City is so sprawling that very few people spend their entire lives surrounded by the same kids they grew up with. When you throw in the twists and turns where life takes you it all adds up to very different, divergent paths for everyone involved. Yet, when I think about the people I talk to and spend my time with the most.... the majority of them went to Lewis.

Speaking of friends, I was having a rough one last Thursday, feeling really down on myself for some unknown reason. So my buddy Kris asked me to come out to Kodiak's on RT 110 in Farmingdale. I had no idea what I was walking into. Apparently it was Karaoke night, but they do it like no other place that I've ever heard of. If you want to sing you have to get up on the stage, with a live band playing behind you, and throw yourself at the mercy of the crowd. They have a gong that gets slammed when you suck, and you get yanked off the stage to the sound of cheering patrons if you're not up to snuff. But they aren't only cheering for silencing those voices that sound like someone's skinning cats in back alleys... NO... when someone gets gonged the bartenders (our bartender was incredible, hot, smart, blew me away) get up on the bar and pour free shots down your throat. That's right, free shots for everyone! It was INSANE!

The place is so good even Rod Stewart showed. He didn't sing; didn't want us to hear the cancer in his throat.

Of course, you're only as good as the company you keep, and usually that amounts to bad things and you becoming the lowest common denominator, but the crew I was with that night made it a total blast and pulled me out of my funk completely. I had such a good time that by 2 AM I found myself drinking with a girl that was the spitting image of Lady Jaye from GI Joe.

I'm not sure what I'm more disturbed about, that when I google Lady Jaye for a pic that I can't get one because all that comes up are images of Spiderman's Mary Jane Watson, or the images that do come up when I see them

I think I'm dating myself here. Scarlet is the only GI Joe female that anyone seems to know anything about, some information age we live in. It's funny, all the different tangents I go off in while I write these things, I can't control them, I just go with it, but now I think I have to go and find this statue

No wonder why everyone loves Spiderman!

So back to my point about friends. In life many of us get down on ourselves, especially when things aren't going they way we want them to or we aren't living the life we meant to live. But you never really know the impact that you have on other people.

After drinking all night Thursday I was completely hung over Friday, in what I should have known was the beginning of a disastrous weekend. For most the of the day I was throwing up at work and couldn't keep anything down, which is why we had no Friday edition of this spot, but I'm a trooper and dealt with it. I left work early to get to a playoff softball game, only to have my tire blow out with no way to loosen a stripped nut to change the tire. I was stuck on the side of the highway in a dangerous spot for 5 hours in the middle of yet another thunderstorm with 1 bar left on my phone. Not exactly the greatest Friday night, right?

Except that the entire night countless numbers of friends continued to check up on me from wherever they were just to make sure that I was alright and to see what they could do to get me out of that mess.

We often lose sight of the things we really do have in our lives, especially when the chips are down and our backs are against the wall. We sometimes lash out, or whine and cry, hoping that someone will see the pain we're in and do something to pull us out of it, only to feel crushed when no one seems to notice. But how often do we ever really ask for help? Most of the time our pride keeps us from doing it.

It never ceases to amaze me though, when we come right out and say it, "I'm in a real bad spot right now, and this is what's wrong" how many people are willing to do so much to get you going again. And in those moments you really get to see what it is, and who it is, that you really have.

Winning in life doesn't mean having the most stuff, the biggest house, the best vacations. The people that stuff attracts disappear when it counts. Winning in life means having people behind you that care enough to always put that smile back on your face.

Party on People!

It's all in how you carry yourself

An usual night of dreams that felt like reality and reality that felt like a dream led to waking to what so far has appeared to be a perfect morning, the sort that fills you with a calm, peaceful feeling, which is exactly what I needed to start me off the right way and get into what I wanted to talk about today.

One of the things that has always calmed me down, and if you know me well then you know how very important that is, is taking pictures. Normally I stay away from taking pictures of people and stick to shots of sunsets and nature, shots like this one here that I took with my point and shoot

But the shots that I always wanted to get kept eluding me because I just wasn't equipped with the proper tools, which meant that I was going to have to actually get a professional grade camera to shoot things like this

I took this shot this past Saturday while wondering around testing the new camera, and MAN did I need to do so with the way things were going. I needed to be calmed more than ever. But in my travels the random events of life seemed to open up to show me some things that maybe I needed to see.

I have no idea who these people are, but he had just proposed to her as I happened to walk by, and they asked me to take a picture for them so that they could remember it. It was nice to be a part of their special moment, even in a very small way, so I took one of my own.

For whatever reason, I've always been a guy that people have done that with. I get asked to take pictures for people all the time. There constantly seems to be someone coming to me for directions, even when I'm in a city that I've never been to before. We don't approach just anyone for this sort of thing, you know that as well as I do. Every one of us has been in a similar situation before, and you have to have a certain comfort level with the stranger you're asking just from how they appear to be.

Well, 93% of all communication is in our body language. We literally say way more to the people surrounding us by the way we're standing around and the look on our faces than with any of the garbage that flies from our mouths. That aura, that energy that emanates, speaks to everyone in proximity.

When I saw this woman in the picture above me she was working with small children, helping to make their day at the park a fun and memorable one. I happened to pass three times while snapping my photos, and with each pass I couldn't help but notice the calm and easy demeanor she displayed and the softness about her. This picture does nothing to do her justice, but even here you can see that in her face. There was a grace, an elegance about her that just melted my heart, and though I doubt very much I'll ever see her again, instantly I thought I saw someone special and it stirred a change in me.

Our chance encounters with the people that walk in and out of our lives are often not a thing to latch on to and hold, but an opportunity to change the way we look at things, what Marianne Williamson calls miracles in her great book A Return to Love.

I'm always talking about the lack of a certain something in our starlets these days, which of course filters down to all the women in our society, that ladies like Olivia De Havilland (up top) had so much of that it poured from them on the screen and moved you.

Where are the Princess Grace Kelly's of the world, the kind of woman that even 30 years after her death the very mention of her name still echoes the embodiment of the word her parents chose to call her by.... Grace.

Or Ingrid Bergman, who you really could believe great men, the Victor Lazlo's of our lifetime, would endure almost anything to get back to, to live for, to inspire them to fight for a better world, or give it all up for.

And of course my all time favorite, Audrey Hepburn. They just don't make women like this anymore.....

Except they do. A chance encounter with a random girl just being herself opened my eyes to something that I either didn't believe that could ever exist again, or perhaps that I had been looking in the wrong places, at the wrong people, for all along. And I began to think about myself, casting the same light on who I am and the way that I act that I had been burning the ladies of the world with.

I've stated in the past how John Wayne was once the embodiment of what is was to be the American man and how as a kid growing up this is what I too was supposed to be, why I often act the way that I do, rough and tumble, out there for everyone to see, A MAN BABY, YEAH! But the truth of the matter is that I'm really probably more like Ash from Army of Darkness in all the wrong ways

"Are all men from the future loud mouth braggards like yourself?"

"No, just me baby.... just me"

Dr. Wayne Dyer always says that you do not attract what you want into your life, you attract what you are, something I firmly believe. When you carry that into the people in your life, if you act like an animal, you'll attract other animals. Act like ghetto trash, you'll attract ghetto trash. Act like Ash... you get deadites

So it's really no wonder that this is the type of woman that I've been finding when I look.

But the woman at the park had me inspired to be more than what I've become, to find all the best parts of myself and have that be the face that I show to the world. In NLP we have a technique that we call modeling, and by that we mean to find someone that displays the characteristics that you want to have yourself and model the way that you behave after the way that they do it. And if you want classy, elegant women in your life, then you have to be more like a man that would be in the same circles of that sort of person. You have to be Cary Grant.

Well, I'm not nearly that good looking, nor am I suave or sophisticated. I may be too much of a Shanty Queens slob sitting on the curb, rough around the edges to hope to pull that off naturally without coming off as try hard. But that doesn't mean I have to be loud and obnoxious either, and I find that when I'm at my best, it's when I'm being the strong, quiet type that takes care of his responsibilities and doesn't worry about the rest. So I may be better off as the Ed Burns type

Well... maybe I don't have his looks either, but if you want to attract a better quality of person in your life, then you have to be a better person. And it's all in the way that you carry yourself. So rather than worrying about who's out there and how good they are, instead concentrate on who you are and how good you can be.

Then the truly beautiful ones will find you.

So who do you want to be?

Earthquakes, Hurricane Irene, 2012 and the end of the World!

First it was the non-stop daily thunderstorms that were beginning to make it look like the biblical floods, then an earthquake that shook the entire east coast, and now we're bracing ourselves for Hurricane Irene which will be barreling through shortly. All of this has seemed to make us forget the long, long winter that dumped snow storm after snow storm on top of us, covering everything in pearly white (or black and yellow here in the city), not to mention that tornados have touched down in the city, and the tsunamis and earthquakes that are killing people in record numbers across the planet. So here it is folks, 2012, end of the world baby.

The real question now is how do you think we're going to go out?

Do you think it's going to be like the John Cusack 2012 flik where the planet goes apeshit all at the same time, ripping the earth apart? That scene with tornados destroying L.A. was really cool, but the rest of the movie pretty much sucked.

Or do you think it's going to be like The Day After Tomorrow and everything north of the Mason Dixon line is going to freeze in a matter of days, wiping us all out? That's probably a better movie than I originally gave it credit, but my only real knock against it was, for a disaster movie, they didn't show enough people dying. And it had one of those messages about the planet. Look, there are more people in earth than any other time in history, probably more than are supposed to be here. People exhale carbon dioxide. If what they say about global warming is true and carbon emissions are to blame, the very act of 7 Billion people breathing will do just as much damage as anything else.

On a side note, one of the co-stars of that movie, the very hot, very sexy Emmy Rossum, gets naked and gets nailed on nearly every episode of Showtimes Shameless. If you haven't seen that show you have no idea what you're missing; it's probably the best show in TV.

But how can we forget about asteroids? Are we in for an Armageddon, destined to go out just like the dinosaurs? You'll hear me say this over and over again, but that movie is the EXACT reason why everything completely sucks these days; a sheer lack of standards. Bruce Willis and his band of outlaw drillers go into space to save the planet from total annihilation. Yeah, right; how far into lift off do you think the fat guy gets before his heart explodes in his chest? Get the hell out of here. And people were saying at the time it was the greatest movie they had ever seen, which tells you all you need to know about what the people have to say.

And it also tells you all you need to know about why Jerry Bruckheimer sucks! If I see one more slow motion walk I'm going to puke. If you didn't know, Team America World Police was made to rip that clown apart. Deep Impact, starring Morgan Freeman and Frodo was a much better, much more realistic movie dealing with the same issue and got completely swept aside by morons.

As much as Bruckheimer sucks ass, I think Tony Scott has to be my favorite director outside of Cameron Crowe. Last night I caught "Unstoppable" on HBO and I was caught on the edge on my seat for the entire ride; not easy to do with a chain chasing a train. Everytime he and Denzel Washington hook up on a project it's always something entertaining. Just look at the list of fliks Scott has directed, Unstoppable, Taking of Pelham 123, Deja Vu, Man on Fire, Spy Game, Enemy of the State, The Fan, Crimson Tide, True Romance, The Last Boyscout, Days of Thunder and Top Gun.

Tony Scott should do an end of the world movie! Denzel can save us all!

Regardless of the situation I think it's about time each of us came up with a plan for what we'd do if it all went bad. It's something we used to discuss on a regular basis in my good ole garage days in Vegas, but it's something we should probably keep in mind all the time. What do you do? Where do you go? Who do you try to save? And finally... one of my favorite thoughts that I like to plan for more than I do for when it all goes bad... how do we re-populate the species!

I know I have my list of who I'm going to save.... they're all on that re-populate list... you know, because you should always try to kill 2 birds with 1 stone.... Emmy Rossum is definitely on it...

AMERICA! F... well, I'll let you finish the rest.

WHY WE TREAT EACH OTHER LIKE CRAP: your situation and your past matter

I have to admit to being distracted this morning; two nights in the past three I dreamt of two women who are no longer in my life, one who was my muse, my inspiration, and the other the ex girlfriend that had done so much damage to me when she left me. They were so vivid and lifelike that I was there, and I've learned enough about the subconscious mind and how the universe is all connected over the past few years to know that something is going on just outside of my understanding.

I am a scientist. It's funny to think sometimes, especially for those of you who know me, but all the same, I am a scientist. While I say some things that many find outrageous and often fight me over, hate me over, nonetheless those things I say as fact as based on years of both research and observation. There are two facts that can not be avoided or discredited no matter who you are. One is that every person everywhere, even scientists, sees the world based on preconceived notions based on their previous knowledge and experience. Basically, the things you think you know and the experiences that you've had before focus what you see in the world around you in every situation moving into the future.

Take a look at this picture and tell me what you see. It's just a blob of spots, right? Be honest.

Now take a look at the picture again and tell me if you see the Dalmatian sniffing the ground in the middle of the picture. OH MAN, something that you didn't notice before magically appears before your eyes now, doesn't it. It's almost impossible NOT to see the dog now that you already know it's there, huh?

Many times people have tried to fight with me over issues of the past, stating that the past doesn't matter. However, with the way that our brains learn, there is simply no separation between your past experiences and every action you take, or how those past experiences shape your future. In fact, until you know exactly how your past affects you in the now there is no other single factor which affects who you, how you perceive things, and how you act accordingly, more.

What do you see here?

Beautiful young Lady or decrepit old woman?

The other truth that you absolutely can not deny is that your situation in life, where you find yourself, really does matter every time. Those of us that are living the life that we want to live and are happy with our current situations will always see the positive, while those who are not, those who are struggling or oppressed, will invariably pick up on the things that are wrong and appear negative until that life situation changes.

As people we love to think of ourselves as being above the animals, however, when you keenly observe the animals in the world its plainley obvious how we act the same way. Take for instance the next few pictures that I took from the Central Park Zoo.

No, I didn't photoshop the look on his face, he's relaxing, taking in some sun

Look at how happy he is, he's got the whole place to himself, no worries

I think I'll got for a dip in the pool.

Now take a look at these three. They're well aware that people are looking at them, trying their best to hide away. There's a big turd sitting right in the middle of the shot, the guy on the right has to turn his head in embarrassment.

This big guy isn't turning his head though, he's living in the lap of luxury

He's got everything just the way he wants it, nothing to worry about

On the other hand, look at this here. I don't know if there can me a more classic picture of New York. He has to eat his food off the floor surrounded by filth and garbage. Pigeons run around stealing from him. The hard concrete and the heat pouring off of it can't feel good on his feet, and while all he wants to do is graze in a nice field, here he is strapped to a heavy cart having to break his back hauling people around.

You should take a walk around Central Park if you can and just try to catch a glimpse of these horses. I have never in my life seen animals so miserable as these poor guys. It's enough to make you never even consider taking a ride.

Here's a guy lying on a park bench, he's reading, relaxing, enjoying his day. This might be someone you would talk to, find out what he's reading if the mood strikes you, right?

Here's another guy lying on a park bench. Does he look as happy? Would you be so eager to find out what he's up to?

No matter who you are or where your situation in life means all the difference. And socially, the way that you're looked upon and treated by others, it matters even more. When someone is the life of the party everyone wants to be around them, they all want a piece, because that improves their situation too. "Hey, this guy is GREAT!"

Yet when they're down on their luck and things aren't going well it's too much effort to be around them because that would be work, that would make others lives harder to lift them up. "Eh, they're a pain in the ass, no fun at all, why would I want to bother with them.

But here's the separation that leads to nearly every social problem we have, and brings us full circle; that past which shapes our lives, how we see the world, and our actions as a result, only matter to us, because others can't see things through our eyes, only their own, and only a select few care to even try.

As my favorite writer Kurt Vonnegut once said "Hooray for Firemen, Sons of bitches that they are in their daily lives, they run into a fire and they're a hero."

It doesn't matter that the guy throwing that rooftop party come from a rich family that bought his expensive rooftop apartment for him. It doesn't matter if he's ever had to suffer the weight of the world on his shoulders. What he stands for, how in acts in times of need, whether or not he looks his nose down on those less fortunate, or if he'll fight for you when the chips are down makes no difference. He throws a great party, he's always a good time, he has all the connections I need to get me where I want to go... he's awesome! (even if he pisses off that roof onto the people going to work every morning, hey, he's not pissing on me)

It doesn't matter that he dropped out of school at 16 to help his mother raise and support the rest of the huge, poor family he had come from after his Dad left her. He's too serious all the time, not enough fun, has no connections and has nothing I want. That guy's no good, why would I want to bother with him?

Yet the past does matter. We take everything that's happened to us before and use that to shape what we do tomorrow. The guy with the rooftop who's had everything come easily will always expect everything to come easily, and it usually does. The guy who's had to give everything up and scratch and claw for everything he has will always see the struggle involved just to keep going through each day, and they usually struggle.

"For every thousand men hacking at the leaves of evil there is but one striking at the root" Henry David Thoreau said. We all do the best we can, make what we believe are the best decisions based on what we know, to try to live a good life. But many, many people simply don't know or can't see how to actually get there. Not unless someone shows them how.

But most people are busy looking for the life of the party. We're all looking for the people who can make our lives better, even when the people they are at heart aren't worth the time of day. Many times we fail to see how we can make other's lives better, even when they're such good people, and only lack the light to show them the way. And then we justify our actions, our own failure in seeing the right things in people by saying "The past doesn't matter" or "it makes no difference what situation you're in".

It's a Social Psychological truth and scientific fact, yes they DO matter.

Our lives are enriched by the REAL people in them. How are you going to make the world a better place? The real difference you can make is in how you treat the people who are in your life every day, not the ones already at the top of the mountain.

Hurrican Irene, 2011 Police and Fire Games and The Show Must Go On!

There are a lot of ups and downs in life and there's every possibility that I'm Bi-Polar, so this spot could just as well be a chronicle of me losing my mind as it is anything else, but I'm feeling completely crushed this morning, in heart and spirit. As a result I don't have much to say, but feel compelled to do so anyway. I just don't feel right unless I'm sharing something with you good people now, and I've never had been able to stomach the idea of letting people down. So as they say....

THE SHOW MUST GO ON!

Can you imagine if they cancelled the Olympics, how devasting a blow it would be to the competitors in the events after all of their hard work and training? Hurricane Irene is threatening to do just that to the 2011 World Police and Fire games, with some of the events already taken off the shelf. Cops and firemen come from all over the world to compete, so it's a pretty big deal.

In case I hadn't mentioned it before, I have a little something to do with the Bodybuilding portion of the competition which is being held this Saturday at the Jacob Javits Center. Well.... these guys didn't work this hard for the event for nothing, and we're pushing through to give them their chance before the storm hits. SCREW YOU IRENE!

THE SHOW MUST GO ON!

Did you watch the video? Are you seeing Freddy Mercury in that pink sweater and wig? I don't know, but this may give me nightmares. Then again, I had another weird dream last night as it is, and it's not like I'm going to keep myself from falling asleep like I'm trying to avoid that other Freddy. In case you can't see the video though, I'm not suffering through that mess alone. Have a look.

That mustache reminds me of a girl I used to be involved with.

Alright, so I just don't have it today. I've been pretty much leveled like they're expecting the landscape to be after this coming storm and at the moment I don't see where to go to pick myself up anymore. It's come to the point where it all seems so hopeless. How many of you have ever felt that way before? How many of us have been overwhelmed by the sense that there's nothing left for you in this world and you've already tried everything, and now there's nothing left that you can do about it?

The greatest gift my father ever gave me were these words... "Tomorrow's another day." However terrible it all may seem, tomorrow is another day, and it can all turn around in a flash. We're staring down natural disasters, economic disasters, the death of morals and standards and it seems that while we can all see the problems no one has come up with any solutions. For many of us, it's all beginning to look bleak and desperate. But what, are we just going to pack it in, give up?

I've spent my entire life down, but not out... close, but not out. And even when I can't get myself out of bed anymore, the idea of failing, losing, quitting, makes me so sick to my stomach that the fires begin to burn....

"Our greatness as men lies not in never falling, but in rising each time we fall."

Tomorrow's another day... but I've still got the rest of this one... and besides, as long as you wake up in the morning, and there's an audience to play for, to laugh for, to fight for, to live for... as long as you're still in the game....

THE SHOW MUST GO ON!

Normal Sucks! Unless....

I tend to do these things as the mood strikes me; I'll have a few ideas in mind that I want to go with but I never do and wind up having to revisit them a few days later. In a sense it frees me, yet at the same time, I hate when I've got something really good that either goes to waste or sounds forced when I finally put it up just because I had to get it up. But I guess that's how inspiration goes. How many of us live our entire lives like that?

For instance, I had a killer piece that I wanted to give you on the VMA's, but that went out like a floater on the tide with the aftermath of Irene. And what's up with the guy who shrinks everything from Friends? She looks like Adam Goldberg!

That bitch hit more like a grenade than the weapon of mass destruction it was supposed to be; didn't hit dead on but the shrapnel ripped everything around me to shreds.

I have to be thankful though, and once again, it's another vision of how lucky I am and how it could always be worse. Friends still have houses under water.

As The Man would say, "You need this...". It's the really bad that puts everything in perspective for you, shows you how good you've got it when things are normal. Most of the time we can't stand normal. Normal Sucks!

The truth is.... I can't remember normal. It's been years. It's felt like decades. I would kill for normal. And the way the world has been I think most of us feel the same way on that.

Of course, psychologically speaking, there's no such thing as normal, just what most of us agree isn't completely perverse or degenerate behavior. If we all agreed not to shower or change our draws, if we all picked our nose and ate it, then that would be normal. Normal is conforming to the society around you.

If you think I'm wrong, check out a Phish concert.

And then of course, there's N.O.R.M.L

Look that one up.

College Football, the long weekend, and a punch in the face!

It's a beautiful Friday morning just before a long weekend that many of us really need and deserve following what has been a disasterous week, so I'm going to try to keep things light today.

I had meant to write a few things last night in preparation for this spot this morning, but couldn't get into any of it, and found myself in cranky, nasty mood until I saw this video that my good friend Walt sent me. It cracked me up because it's so damn true, so I want you to listen to what ole boy is saying here, because, if you're a guy there's no way you haven't been here before and if you're a lady you've at least seen it in action.

New York Yankees Catcher Jesus Montero on making his Major League Debut last night:

"I felt like I was dreaming," Montero said. "It was like somebody punched me in the face or something like that. This is a great night tonight. This is amazing for me."

Listen pal, if you want that amazing dream like feeling of somebody punching you in the face, I can hook you up every day if you really need it.

You know I love watching women beat on each other, not that I'm sure that's what's going on here, if they're women that is, but young Montero may have a point of the bliss of getting cracked in the grill. Don't take my word for it, listen to someone you know and trust, someone like Mr. T

I don't know about you, but Mr. T was one of my heroes growing up, an icon. He was credited for all of his positive influence over the little children of America, check it out

Seriously, what's up with this little kid? Look at that look on her face. Some things you can see from a mile away, you just know it right from the beginning. One day she'll grow up to make some lucky guy absolutely miserable. It could be you. See You Next Tuesday!

In Asia they do things a little different, take it to a whole new level, go all in. When you get smashed in the kisser over there you don't just get your nose busted, they tear your clothes off.

Speaking of Asians, what's this chick about to do? She's definitely eyeing someone, and something naughty is about to go down. Tell me if you're thinking what I'm thinking

That's right sweetheart, you know what we like. If you're into Asian women, and let's face it, who isn't, you might want to check out this page Asian Poses. I really don't know anything about so don't get pissy with me if you catch a virus, but those are some real cute ladies in those shots for sure. Hopefully it has nothing to do with kiddy porn or we're all going down with the ship.

I was going to go to a big family reunion this weekend....

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to go afterall....

This weekend I'll be watching three nights of Phish from Colorado. I bring them up often, and you may wonder why, but yesterday I caught a great article that really captures everything about the entire experience, and why I've seen them so many times despite knowing very few of their songs. Read Blurring the Rail, it's a really well written piece.

After reading the article the question of the ages came up, one that as a student of human behavior I already know the answer to, how much of everything that's done out there, what people are into, what they talk about, is about the love, and how much of it is about the hype? If you're honest with yourself you'll come to conclusion that most of what you do has nothing to do with the true heartfelt joy you get from it, but from the popularity contest in showing it off.

Did I say show off? Speaking of the love, have you seen the new AT&T add? I use them for my service and after this I'm never changing. Talk about knowing your target audience.

I told you... the Peacock is EVERYWHERE!!!

So we're coming upon Labor Day weekend, which sadly rings the end of summer, but when one thing dies another is born... and this weekend the College Football season is born to all of our great applause. So sit back, relax, enjoy yourself, and keep things light....

Make that a Bud Light!

And you need a little help with anything give me a call

Unemployment, Shootings in New York City, Labor day and acting right...

Now that Labor Day has passed the summer is officially behind us (though not scientifically speaking until Sept. 23). It's 62 degrees in New York and, of course, raining some more, but what else is new. College Football has started and Notre Dame sucks once again, their season over before it began due to the sort of mistakes that can only be categorized as bad coaching. It was a weekend full of that sort of negative vibe.

What the hell is she doing?

I mean, yeah, that's one big ass tree, but she's been

standing like that staring at it for hours. There's been an

epidemic of people doing whacky nonsense out there.

39 people were shot in New York city over a 2 day span from Noon Saturday until Monday afternoon this labor day weekend. A lot of that may be attributed to the West Indian festivities that kicked off, or at least that's what the papers claimed, apparently this sort of thing happens every year during the West Indian festivities. I don't really pay much mind it, but that's downright disturbing. Most of the shootings were in Brooklyn; most of the shootings happened at parties, or at the hands of people who just left a party. There's no better way to celebrate anything than shooting up a room full of teenagers I tell ya!

I suspect this guy is behind it all.

Just look at him. If that's not a kid toucher, I don't know

what is. Last time I saw him he was trying to capture

the Ambiguously Gay Duo.

This is an old stat back from around 2005 or so, but 44 Americans are murdered every day, and that's not counting other violent crimes, just when they were actually killed. That's compared to 4 soldiers dying per day combined in wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. You can get the figures off the FBI's website if you really want to do the research, but it just goes to show you that it's still not all that safe out there. Just because something bad hasn't happened to you... YET... doesn't mean you're protected in your magic bubble. Especially if you live in Brooklyn. That's not a shot or a crack at Brooklyn, it's just the truth.

Whatever it is that he did,

he was just following orders.

That's what henchmen do.

But don't try to get him to rat

out his boss... he aint talkin...

I can't imagine that those numbers have gotten any better; if anything they're probably worse. We're not just facing an economic crisis, a depression, we're also facing a crisis of conscience. Somewhere along the line we stopped holding ourselves to higher standards, we stopped enforcing the basic rules of decency out there which holds firm that there are things that are acceptable and things you just don't do. People really just don't know how to act anymore, and that doesn't come out of weekend shootings, those are the end result. The shootings are a result of the little things built up to an explosion, it's talking in movie theatre's, driving in the middle lane all the way to the end of an exit ramp and cutting in on the line of cars doing it the right way, not saying "thank you" when someone holds a door open that's got us here.

Look at this poor woman. She's hunched over in

embarrassment, grabbing her ankle, crying in pain

while he tosses her around in front of a cheering

crowd like its a damn Roman arena.

Can you really blame him though? Just look at that

shirt. You can't pull off pimp without beating your women.

He's going to blame Dr. Venture there up top.

Until we fix the breakdowns in the very fabric of our society and restore that sense of pride in doing the right thing nothing that happens economically will make much of a difference. We'll only destroy it all over again. Greedy people will take advantage because they can get away with it. Animals will continue to act as if might makes right because we prove to them that it's true everyday. Stupid people do stupid things, and desperate people do desperate things, and when you throw millions of stupid desperate people together with no vision of a better way, a better world, a better you and no hope for a better life.... whoa, that's a powder keg sitting on top of 100 year old unstable dynamite, isn't it?

Its good she's not reading in the dark, but

someone should tell he that sitting a foot

in front of a 4 foot tower of ultraviolet light

isn't good for the eyes either. Her eyesight was

perfect until she bought that damn lamp. Dr. Zeus

made her do it. I told you... whacky!

And why would we be desperate? Because not only is the unemployment rate in the U.S. at 9.2% as of this weekend, but the underemployment rate is at 16.7%, thrilling news that also came out of this Labor Day weekend. In case you don't know, the underemployed are those of us that have jobs but don't make enough money at those jobs to pay the bills. The underemployed are the ones working 2 part time jobs at 70+ hours a week just to get by, only to have to do it all over again tomorrow.

Right now 25% of the country can not take care of themselves. Yet adding to that desperation, in our consumer driven materialistic party all the time society, we're still putting all the value on the "Haves" while looking down on the "Have Nots". Worse still... no one has any answers as to how to fix it.

Blame the Chinese, they're behind everything.

Who do you think is funding Dr. Moreau up there?

Outsourcing your devious plots for total global domination

keeps the hands clean and frees up a lot of time for

more important activities like....

KARAOKE!

All of this has even made the likes of self improvement guru Anthony Robbins go on a Labor Day Rant! This is a long video, but you should really listen to what he has to say in it. There were some specific points he made in it, things I've said a lot and got slammed for in the past such as:

"I'm not talking about positive thinking bullshit"

"Everyone wants a piece of you when things are good. When you're down the people who are full of it disappear and you find out who your real friends are."

"You need a breakthrough"

He says these things straight out in this clip, and it points out why, of all of these people cropping up doing what he does, that he's still the best. What he acknowledges that the "positive thinking" crowd refuses to is that even if you do everything right you still need opportunities, you still need something to happen, and for many of us, those breakthroughs just don't come, and they certainly haven't or aren't coming any time soon.

And there it is, the evidence, the crux of the plan....

they're going to replace all of our women with

cardboard cutouts.

If you want companionship you'll have to go through

them now. Cardboard cutouts are just fine. You can even

talk to them a bit. Its when they start answering back

that you have to worry.

Robbins hits on the same rock wall that I've been smashing myself against for the better part of my lifetime, and certainly over the past few years, and that's that no matter how hard we try to improve our situation, there are times that nothing you do can change it and there's really nothing that you can do about it. This follows right along the path of Eastern philosophy when they say that life has pain, all we can do is decide how we feel about it, how we let it affect us. As Anthony Robbins says, when it really hits the fan and everything is out of our control, all we can do is focus on the things that we CAN do something about. Often the only thing that is is how we think or how we act.

They're letting us keep one or two of the ladies

around, just in case we need a little something extra....

like two front teeth... or are those the bottom teeth?

And as if the Universe needed to hammer that point home, that sometimes things just don't go your way and there's nothing that you can do about it but accept the situation and let go of the frustrations caused by fighting a fight you just can't win and stop fighting just for the sake of fighting... I got word Friday night that Jess, my ex that left me in the middle of the night, is now engaged to be married.

It was an odd feel that washed over me; I wasn't upset at all. Quite the contrary, I'm actually about as happy for her as I can be. Whatever happened, I take the blame for it; I could have loved her a whole lot better than I did, and marriage was what she always wanted. Hopefully she'll be able to squeeze out a kid or two too. I gained a large sense of relief because I couldn't give her what she wanted, but she didn't lose out on it because she wasted time with me.

Of course, ever since it's seemed like the whole world has stopped. You can't help but think in these situations "what about me?", and I've done my share of that. I've accomplished so much since she left, but every bit of it has felt completely empty because I've had no one to share it with (another thing Robbins mentions often), and nothing I've done has done anything to change that.

But never fear... These guys are on the case.

Have you ever seen a sight that's filled you with

a greater sense that all will be well.

No matter how heinous the plot devised by Dr. Evil...

These guys will save us!

For everything that's happened over the past couple of years, all the hard work that I've done, all the life lessons learned, all the goals knocked off the list, I find myself right back in the same exact situation I fought so hard and did all of those things to get out of 5 years ago and more. And the people that I carried with me all that time, the ones I've been scarred by, have all moved on to other lives and seemingly left me behind, no longer even a dot in their rearview.

Hearing of the engagement took all the fight I had left out of me. Not in a bad way, but in that way you only find through acceptance. This is what it is; this is life. Maybe not for others, but this is what life is for me. And so it's time to stop fighting for all those things out there, focus on the few things you can actually do something about, and try to enjoy whatever it is that does come to you.

And we'll all live happily ever after...

THE END!

I like myself a lot, even if very few others do. I just don't like the situation I'm in, and no matter how hard I've tried I can't do anything to change it. I wonder how many of us have said the very same thing, felt that very same way. But being depressed about it doesn't work either. How does that make anything better?

Instead I said "Fuck it", the 2 most powerful words in the English dictionary as the best teacher I ever had, John D. Vasques, said often. I spent Labor Day weekend watching 3 kick ass Phish concerts and eating Barbecue with The Man and caught my favorite Elvis flik.

And there was much rejoicing.

So what really is the point then in today's ramble if it's not to say how bad things are and we're all screwed? It's this... even when nothing's working for you you can still always decide how you feel about it. Work on being a better you, even if that means saying "to hell with it" and having yourself a good time. Sometimes it's all you can do.

The Truth About Marijuana, Trampoline Dodgeball and things just done well....

As I get older I appreciate things that are just done well more and more, especially if its something that I'm into like photography, sports, video, random ridiculous fun.... but all too often as people we get caught up in talking about and tearing down the things we don't like. Well, I've been looking at some things, and every once in a while I have to take a step back and point out to you good people some of those cool things that I've found and give credit to the people who brought it to you.

For instance, if you're a fan of David Bowie then you might get a kick out of the fact that illustrator Andrew Kolb has turned "Space Oddity" into a picture book for kids. Personally I'm not much of a Bowie fan outside of Labrynth, but I really dig the creativity it required to even make the attempt, and the author is giving it away for free. That in itself is cool enough to check out.

How cool is this shot?

Taken from thatcutesite.com

Now, I can really see the potential for people mangling themselves in so many ways with this, but at the same time it looks like it could be the most ridiculously fun thing to do that I've heard of in a long time. I'm talking about Trampoline Dodgeball. I've never been one to subscribe to the notion that Dodgeball ruins self esteem in the little ones... I was a little one and I LOVED dodgeball, mostly because I wasn't a spaz, but this takes the buffoonery to a whole new level. I'm PSYCHED that they're opening a place about an hour away from me in Valley Cottage, NY in October at a place called Bounce and can't wait to get in there! Some of you are coming with me.

By now you know how much I can't stand the no talent hacks coming out of Hollywood, and I've said that as visually stunning as James Cameron's Avatar was, it seemed like a bunch of other movies pieced together. SO when I saw this I cried; it's brilliant and you should take a look. Disney's Pocahontas, er, Jame's Cameron's Avatar.... I think you nailed this Matt Bateman!

This is just an absolutely stunning picture of Hadrian's Wall

Taken from hadrians-wall.org

I've never been the type to worry about dropping good money on a good meal, and checking out new restaurants is something that I really enjoy, especially if there's something about it that you just can't get anywhere else. So when I saw this about Ithaa Restaurant, an underwater eatery so deep that the last Tsunami had no effect on it, I just had to check it out. For all I know the food could taste like rubbish, but then you're not really going down there for the food, are you? My friend Joanne is going to have to take me one day in her many travels, because that's what she does. It'd be cool to have a place like this around here, but the idea of watching that last turd I flushed float by above my head isn't exactly condusive to fine dining.

And here's something I just thought could come in handy, its a battery with a USB port, check it...

Pretty sick, huh? You tell me how primitive people

were able to pull this off without the help of aliens.

Taken from tourexpi.com

I have some strange obsession with yards completely enclosed by the house surrounding it all under a greenhouse roof, sort of like the way they have things set up at Sam's Town in good ole Las Vegas. I have some strange obsession with Real Estate in general really, the design of the building, the landscaping, the space, all of it. If there's some mix of sick architecture surrounded by mother nature I'm all in. So I think my next vacation has to be to this place in Ecuador, the Mashpi Lodge in the Mashpi Rainforest. Heating, cooling and power are some of the things I always have rolling around in my head when I think of these things, as in how to get them, and seeing they use hydroelectric in the jungle knocked my socks off. Beyond that, the place just looks incredible, and as long as I don't have to worry about Guerilla's (the ones with guns) it seems like an amazing experience. Hell... the Guerilla's would be an experience....

I didn't add a caption here for this because it's just one of many unbelievable shots that they have up at The Cool Hunter. If you're a fan of photography, or just beauty in general, then you absolutely owe it to yourself to check this out. I am completely in awe of the talent that it takes to even see these shots, much less find a way to present it to the world, and seeing them has me inspired. This is the kind of thing I could dedicate my life to. This is the beauty that's out there that most people never get to see and would be better just knowing it's out there.

This could be photoshopped, Bonsai trees growing out

of cracks in the side walk seems a bit far fetched, but

I still love shots like this. You find these things everyday

if you just take the time to look.

Taken from themetapicture.com

NFL Football is about to kick off this weekend, which has everyone on the planet pumped, so it's as good a time as any for me to reach back and throw this out there. I'm a HUGE sports fan, and an admitted stat geek, so when the new Total Quarterback Rating came out it just about gave me a hard on. They finally have an all encompassing statistic that tells you exactly how important every player on the field is. This really does cover every scenario that pops us, as seen in this Guide to Total QB Rating and I for one CAN'T WAIT till pulls the card on all of those over hyped over rated "stars" of the game out there.

Uh... just because...

Her name is Heather Doss... but I won't post a link because

she gets.... neked!

Here's what you all came for, I know. The Truth About Marijuana. I haven't done my fact checks on this, but from what I know about human nature, conspiracy theory, and how the machine is rigged to run, everything that's said in here makes total sense. I hadn't heard this angle before in anything that I've read, so look into it on your own before you take it as fact, as you should with everything, but if nothing else it's an interesting take on the subject. The article is more than 15 years old now, so I'm surprised that it's even still up, but read it and let me know what you think.

Finally, speaking of things done well, my very good friend Thaddeus over at TMCtheShow sent me this video up above. You have to be a fan of Star Wars and remember the old TV show Dallas and how it was done to truly appreciate it, but man did they nail this clip. It was done perfectly. And if you haven't done so already then be sure to check out TMCtheShow, they're doing some really great things and I know you'll enjoy it.

Love Triangles and what only comes with Experience....

I wonder if I should be disturbed by the fact that I can tell what movie someone is watching on the computer behind me just by the sound of the voices, not even by what they're saying. I probably watch too many damn movies.

I was in a pissy mood for much of the afternoon because of an argument I never wanted to get into. A lady friend has herself a new boyfriend, and since that's happened I've been distant and she couldn't understand why.

How do you write your women so well?

I think of a man, then I take away

accountability and reason

Five times it's happened to me, women that I spoke to all day everyday about everything completely cut me off once they got themselves a new boyfriend. Five times. Somehow it actually makes things worse that none of these women were people that I was interested in. They were all girls that I had dated before hand and for whatever reason we were just better when we weren't. It's the only thing that's kept me from being Ducky.

The truth of the matter is that they did exactly what SHOULD be done. You (and by that I mean the ladies) can't have that kind of relationship with one guy while you're dating another. All of those things, talking about your problems, cards and crap to cheer you up, flowers just to make you smile.... that's your boyfriends job. There's no room for two roosters in that hen house. And if you can't turn to your man for those things, well, that's your problem, you chose poorly, and you shouldn't be with him.

At the end of the day, whatever you want to call it, when one thing begins another thing ends. That's the circle of life. When we're young our friends are our lives. As we get older and it's time for wives and husbands, we just don't have as much time for beers and bullshit anymore; those relationships with our old friends have to change. And when the kids come there's barely enough time for wives and husbands. That's just the way it is; natural progression.

No matter how you chalk it up, a girl trying to keep the guy friend and the boyfriend wants to have her cake and eat it too, and it's not fair to either of them. It doesn't work for more reasons than there's space to list here, and eventually someone, if not all three of you, is going to get emotionally mangled over the whole affair. It's simple social dynamics, and why so many of the tragedies in literature from the beginning of time centered around the love triangle.

One of the coolest things about getting older, I've always felt, was the day that I began to understand my parents and the things that they did while I was growing up. Not that they did the right thing, but that I had experienced enough life to see why they may have thought their actions were best at the time. And just like them trying to explain it to 15 year old me, there's just no way that I could make that particular girl understand what I was getting at before, why I was backing away. There are just some things that you can only truly know from having lived through it. And just no way of teaching these to others if they haven't, which is why teenagers think they know everything until they hit their 20's. And 20 somethings swear they know it all until they hit their 30's, and so on and so forth.

It's crazy to think about, but it really did hit me last night, now that I'm in my mid- 30's (and any of you there with me will relate) I really am at a different level than most anyone still in their 20's. And when you've lived a hard life like I have, as opposed to those fortunate enough to have had the Cancun resort vacations with their friends twice a year and Brooklyn rooftop parties every weekend, that level of experience becomes an entirely different animal, because there's a place mired in that grimey underbelly of hard knocks that age alone won't get; the kind you only know when life stomped its foot down on your throat and refuses to take it off. Trying to get people at lower levels of experience to understand what you're saying, where you're coming from, and that you know what you're talking about because you've seen it over and over again is as futile a gesture as me trying to read Chinese. Especially if they are those 20 somethings with the Cancun vacations and out there "living life man", because they know everything, they won't listen. Just like your parents, the only thing you can do is step back and say "Alright then, drop that TV on your head you little bastard!", and wait for them to reach the day that they've experienced enough to understand you.

And so here I am finding the real challenge that I'm facing, and I bring this up because many of you right now are experiencing the very same thing, and it also brings us full circle. I hadn't realized it because of where I was at the time, but I quietly slipped into that stage where it's time for wives and husbands, as have most of my friends. A 20 something told me a few months back, "what about you, you've gotten old and you're not even that old yet", but that isn't it at all, rather I've gotten to a place where getting drunk and puking on my self, staying out all night and dragging my ass into work the next day has lost its luster and my minds focus, my heart, has turned to other things. Things like family; things like legacy; and we all make that transition eventually.

But as your friends get married and have kids, as they make that transition themselves, the pool begins to dwindle. And with the economy the way it is, many of us are right back to the same situation we were in back in our 20's, broke and struggling to find good work, unsure if you're ever going to be able to pay those bills and find your way to the mountain top. So you're left hanging between 2 worlds, being the old guy at the bar with the 20 somethings who really can't get where you're coming from (or rarely at least) even if they tried and are still in that party stage anyway, or the ones on your level, who are scarce and hard to meet as it is, that are either looking for a stability that you can't give them, or are where they are and available because they're a complete train wreck of a human being.

I guess I'm of the train wreck variety if I'm honest with myself. The curse is that I'm self aware enough to realize it. Which only adds more obstacles to this minefield.

So I write this for all of you who are feeling out of place in the world right now, those who feel like the boat has left and you're not on it....

You're not alone out there.

I may not have the answers for you... I may not have them for myself... but we can find them together.

A deeply personal note from me to you... because you're incredible...

A lot of people had gotten to me yesterday about how much they could relate with what I was talking about. I had known that what I said was good and right because it came from that place where I was being as honest as a person can possibly be.

For a long time I had worried about what others thought about my work and what I was doing in pretty much all of my work and all of what I was doing. The end result became a sort of half truth that only proved to suppress me in the same way that all of my dead end jobs I never wanted to be at in the first place did. It was evident in my writing; even when it was good something was missing, and it failed to make that same sort of connection as yesterday's piece.

I have spent a long time now studying people, and there are two truths that have been since the first human breath was taken, and will always be true until the very last. Both involve our longing. The first is our longing to freely express our soul, as we do as children, to pour all of the joys of our heart into the world around us through our work, our play.

You show me a person who's forced to do things that they don't want to do too often and I'll show you a miserable bastard. Show me a person that doesn't have opportunities, for whatever the reasons, fear, oppression, to show off who it is that they really are through the things that they do and I'll show you desperation.

The other thing that we all long for is that sense of connection with our fellow man. We need to know that people get us, understand how we feel; we need to understand them. We need to know that we matter. We all, every one of us, need to feel loved, that we're not alone in the world, that we make a difference in people's lives, that we make those lives better.

You show me someone who feels alone in the world and I'll show you a person on the edge. You show me a person who feels like they don't matter and I'll show you a person who's lost everything, who's lost hope.

I've been driven to do most of everything that I've done so far in life by all of the worst in people. I was ruthlessly abused by my peers for all of the things that I didn't have, growing up as poor as can be. In many ways that still happens every day. No matter what I've ever done, it was never good enough for any of the people I surrounded myself with, I was never good enough, and that tainted the lens through which I see the world and left me jaded. In many ways I'm still not good enough. I became terrified to express who I am; I developed major depressive disorder, which I still deal with daily.

Many people have told me, and will tell me, that if I want to make a career of being a Life Coach then I can't show that side of myself. I can't be weak. I always have to put my best foot forward. I think that's a total crock of shit.

If you read my blog daily I take you along with me on my ups and downs. Some days I'm happy; some days I'm sad. Some days I'm strong, full of fire, and some I'm crushed by the days events. That's because I'm human, a man, real. It's precisely because of my pain that I can empathize with others' pain. It's because I've felt what they feel that I can see hurt in their eyes and my soul cries out to help them never to feel that again. It's because I don't want to hurt that I don't want you to hurt. It's because I, for so long, have been unable to express myself that I want you to be able to do so, to pour everything into realizing your dreams.

And that's precisely why I know how good I can be at this.

We all see the world in a certain way based on where we've been, what we've seen, who we're with and what has happened to us from our first thought to this moment right now. It's something I bring up often, and for good reason. Who we are and what we do rolls right off of that, is a direct result of it.

Our only real success in life comes from how well and how often we're able to fulfill those two longings, to find that self expression, in making that real human connection. That's where true happiness lies. And you can never find happiness without it. I've never been very good at either, and it's impossible not to see the marked difference in me when I am able to pull it off. But in my struggle to do so I've come to a great understanding of myself.

I've never been the guy people seek out for a good time, never the one they think about when things are good. But, like a priest, they come to me when in need and disappear once fulfilled. The things that I do for that great release, writing, my pictures, Personal Performance Consulting (I like that one), are not and can not be the sort of thing I throw out in your face and convince you to want, or need, or get into. As such, I can not myself be something that I can convince people to want, or need, or be into. Rather, they have to be there when you need them, to connect, to see beauty, to make you feel better about who you are. I have to be there for you when you need.

This blog started as one thing, and became something very different. It's become my way of showing you all how I see the world. It's become my way of showing you who I am. And when you enjoy it, when you can relate, when you agree with or know what it is that I'm saying, when you feel the same, then in those brief moments you are connecting with my heart; you're one with my soul. In those moments you are me, and I am you. In those moments... I'm not alone. In those moments I'm free, and I matter.

For all of those reasons I thank you with every fiber of my being.

And I love you.

Sincerely,

John LaSota

9/11 - Exactly what is it that we'll never forget?

First I want to thank you all for the tremendous, overwhelming response to my last post. I had a great, great weekend, which I'll go into more detail about during the week, and I'm tired but it would probably be irresponsible of me not to address the 10th anniversary of Sept. 11.

I didn't watch a single second of the coverage on television; the images are ingrained in our memories as if etched in stone. I didn't need to see that again. There will be no pictures of any of that in my posts. This will not be about politics, or terrorism, or anger, or revenge. This will not be about conspiracies or what I believe to be the truth behind that day. Instead I'll talk about that day, that week, as I experienced it and the message that I always try to take from it.

I was born and raised in New York City, and with the exception of the three years I spent in Vegas and a year at Oklahoma State, I've lived here my whole life; thirty years I've lived here. But I wasn't in New York that day, my sister, her husband and I were in Orlando Florida.

We got an early call from one of my sisters to turn on the T.V. and watched it all unfold live. There's no need to tell you the rest of that, you know it well enough.

New York can be a hard place. It's a hard life. But you never realize how much you love a place, or the people, how much they're a part of you. Two grown men wandering around Orlando with tears in their eyes so thick that there was just no wiping them away brought all of those raw emotions to the forefront for everyone to see.

It wasn't long before cell phone service was done, and we were left in the dark. My oldest sister, a detective with the NYPD, was stationed down the block at the time, we feared she may be in there. My father ran a place off of Broadway just a block away. I had only left a job at the Patrolman's Benevolent Association just a few months earlier and still had many, many friends (many of you reading right now) who would have been getting off of the trains which ran beneath the trade center right at the time the planes hit.

What was happening, and to whom, we just didn't know. And there was no way to find out. That was the worst part of it for us down there, that we just didn't know. It would be days before we found anything out. The three of us took turns randomly breaking into tears, bawling like babies.

As it happened we were scheduled to go to Seaworld's Discovery Cove, a place that only allows limited crowds per day. You have to make an appointment. Most everyone we encountered had been sympathetic, and it's in times like this, when something bigger than all of us snaps us out of our usual self occupied focus that we really get to see how good most folks really are, how much we empathize, how much we care for one another. Or course, invariably, there always has to be some jackass too stupid to get it, acting like fools because they don't fear repercussions because no one holds them to task.

Two clowns at the park screamed "In Coming!", laughing about it as we waited to swim with dolphins. Stepping out to where they could see us, red lines staining out cheeks, and a low but firm "we're from NY you asshole" wiped the smile and jokes from their faces quickly. It's amazing how quickly it usually does with that sort of clown, isn't it?

But there's real magic in the world around us every time we walk outside our door, especially in the natural things, all one has to do to see it is know where to look. Discovery Cove is set up so that you experience some of that natural magic. We swam with sharks that day; we swam with dolphins.

That was an experience like no other with an absolutely amazing creature. Dolphins are graceful, yet powerful, intelligent and loving. No words of mine are sufficient to describe the feeling of exhilaration as one of these majestic animals pulls you through the water. And it's insane how you can just feel how happy they are that you're there with them.

There's a picture we have from that day that I don't need to see, I can picture it as I write this, of my sister riding that dolphin, and the pure joy on her face. Her and I have been through so much together over the years; that look on her face is one of my best memories. By the time we got back to the time share our emotions had worn us down; we were in no shape to go anywhere, do anything. But watching more of the horrible footage just wouldn't do, so we rented a movie.

There's not much in the world that I love more than a good story, and my love of movies stems from the need to escape life's pains; for two hours you're transported into another world, for two hours all of your problems disappear. We rented The Legend of Bagger Vance that night, a film about God and fate and finding our own path in life, our natural swing. It stars Matt Damon, Will Smith and Charlize Theron, directed by Robert Redford. The flik went down as one of the biggest flops in all of their careers, but there were parts that just made us laugh. My brother in law and I still scream "BALLS!" because of it all these years later, and it's one of my favorite movies to this day.

9/11 forced the closing of Disney World, the happiest place on earth, so we went to Seaworld instead. Devil and I sat as close as possible to Shamu the whale and came out out of the show completely drenched. Being owned by Anheuser Busch, Seaworld had 'beer school', which we had to attend. Each person gets 1 free sample; drunks as we are, we each had 6. I have a picture hanging on my wall; it's my brother in law and I thoroughly soaked, smiling from ear to ear.

The next day we went to Epcot Center and grabbed a beer at every bar in every country in the place. That adds up to a lot of beer; we were loaded. I had to fulfil one of my great pleasures of the time, taking picture with people I don't know. On the monorail on the way back a three year old girl pointed up at my brother in law and scolded him, clear as day, "You're a bad piece!" I can't tell you how hard that made me us laugh.

We had to drive back home from Florida, going through a tropical storm that literally blinded us on the way. My sister has brass balls even attempting that and a few days later we were making our approach to the city, Even a week later you could see the smoke hanging in the air for miles. There was a sickening hole in the skyline.

I happened to be one of the lucky ones from that day, none of my people had been lost. Many people who are very dear to me couldn't say the same, having lost people very dear to them. Often I feel guilty that I wasn't here, not that I could have done anything, just to have been there with, and for, my people, my city. I probably always will, but it is what it is.

Since then, 9/11 has often been used for cheap propaganda and to push political agenda. It's been used as an excuse to lash out in anger, to pigeon hole us into the "if you're not with us, you're against us" mentality. And for every "never forget" plastered all over facebook, I fear in twenty years it'll just be another excuse for a barbecue, and to utter lines of crap just for attention, but making it seem like we care. I know in twenty years facts will come out that make the whole thing very different in our minds.

But when I think of that time I want no part of images of desperate people hurling themselves 100 stories to their death. I prefer to think about natures amazing creatures, one of the happiest smiles I've ever seen on my sisters face, Bagger Vance and trying to find my natural swing, the beautiful innocence and perfect intuition of little children and the worlds only confirmed bad piece. I prefer to think about how the great little details in life can take away the greatest pains, even if just for a while.

Of course, it's so much easier for me; I didn't lose anyone; I didn't have to walk home that day, terrified, through dust and debris, through living hell. But I prefer to think of my people, my nation, coming together and showing our pride in who we are, in each other, our once great country and the hope that we can be great again. Americans used to live for America, for that ideal of something bigger, better than all of us; we rarely do that anymore. And I prefer to remember seeing how much we really care about each other, and how we collectively pick each other up when we're so down.

But I cry too. Why does it have to take the worst of the world to show us the best of it, the best of us? If we could see that, be that, everyday, travesties like 9/11 would never occur.

Reruns...

No, not that Rerun.

I was fully expecting to be completely hung over this morning, but I wanted to get something up and out to you anyway, so I decided that I was going to put up some of the old videos that we used to do and learn you something. Videos like this one here about what it means to be Proactive

Yeah, that sexy beast in the video is me. This blog isn't my first attempt at putting things out there for you. We were making these video blogs a bit, and they're pretty damn informative on some real things, but my production quality, well, it's crap... and the videos are long by most standards.... not to mention it took me at least a week to do all the editing, so I stopped.

Don't worry sister, I am. It always cracks me up seeing what I find when I'm looking to do these things. It's not just the random whacky images or the crazy shit that people do... well, yeah, it is. Life is the BEST!

Speaking of looking things up. I think I've been going to the wrong beaches. She caught herself a fish, the one eyed trouser trout. Like any good fisherman, as soon as she gets home she's going to find out just how it tastes. Unless they allow fires on the beach, then it won't have to wait that long. And from what I'm seeing here... I bet the allow fires on the beach....

I should know exactly how it is that they found themselves together out there on the high seas, I've studied it long enough. A lot of you have probably seen this before, I'm explaining why we go for the people we do, to date or screw. My good buddy Walt and I have taken this knowledge into the field and studied it, like zoo keepers observing the chimps, and the tricks of the trade are like gold, they get it done. The funny thing about this is that it's angled for guys, because I'm a guy, but I have more women asking me about it than anything else. They want to know why they always go for the worst thing for them (and they do) and what tricks the guys use to get them (and they work). I'm excellent in this capacity girls, not much for the tricks myself, but I can sure as hell tell you when it's working against you.

What?

Uh.. What?

What do you want to bet these two know each other. They're probably dating. Somewhere some good guy thinks that blond is just great, but she treated him like shit. Instead, she's all over this guy right here. Just look at how much he's got to offer.

But I think the look on this guys... er... chicks.. ah... guys face says it all. I leave the URL info on the pics up there purposely most of the time in case you want to go check out who's bringing it to you. StupidHumans.org must be the shit, I wouldn't know though, I didn't specifically go to the site. Every one of this pics came up randomly in my search for truth.

Now THAT is sexy! Actually, I really do like her back. And I can almost guarantee this little lady rocks in bed. You probably have to beat the hell out her though, or she won't respect you. Give her a good right hook though and she'll be ready for....

But listen fellas, really, before you take that next step and take the plunge, make sure you do the right thing and have a proper send off... you know what I'm talking about too... the bachelor party

How awesome is this? I always knew there was a family out there for me. Check out the smile on Mom's face in the back there. The baby looks like she's hungry. What a good baby, patiently waiting her turn. Is that his sister? Or maybe she's with the dude in the camouflage. When she gets older, you know what she's going to dress up as for Halloween?

That's right, there you have it. This comes right out of the handbook for perfect parenting. Which one of them do you suppose designed that costume? He worked on getting the tail out of that short skirt... the tits are all her....

But it could always be worse. Why is it that the mouth on his face by his ballsack is a whole lot happier than the mouth.... seriously, I don't see anything wrong with this. For Christmas I'm getting everyone life sized posters of myself. I think it's that jacket that'll be giving me nightmares, but what the hell do I know.

And having nothing to do with anything at all, I just thought, for a second, that we could all use just a little perspective. If you have to ask who that is I can't talk to you. If you have to ask who that is, Bush, Obama, Sara Palin, Al Sharpton, Charlie Sheen... they're not the problem with America... YOU ARE!

Speaking of Charlie Sheen... his Comedy Central roast is coming next Monday.... EPIC!

I'm tired. I think I'll go home now.

The KEY TO SUCCESS IS RIGHT IN HERE.... if you read it...

I wish I knew who had left that first anonymous comment on last Friday's post. It seems as if a friend of mine is in pain and I can't see who it is. If I can't see it then there's nothing that I can do to help, and they don't feel they can go to anyone with the issue. That is my failing.

One of the basic premises that the work I'm now getting into is built upon is that we all already know the answers that we're looking for. The problem is that we either can't see it because we're asking ourselves the wrong questions, or we're too scared to answer those questions. Very often all it takes is someone talk to, someone to bounce things off of, and we reach the conclusions on our own. I had witnessed that very thing with a friend of mine just this weekend, to beautiful results.

Isn't it a shame then that so often we can't find anyone to sit and listen long enough, or that we feel comfortable enough with without fear of being judged, to allow us to do that? Most of the time most of us are so in love with our own voices, or the importance we feel by doling out advice, that we're thinking of our answer before we even listen to what they're saying. Take a second right now and consider if you do that. I know you have before; I've caught myself doing it too.

My "job", when it's done right, is to simply do that, sit back and keep my mouth shut and just let you vent. Then, when you hit a roadblock or don't want to push passed a barrier in your thinking I give a little nudge in the right direction. There are a lot of techniques that I had to train in, sure, a lot of different ways to get you there, but ultimately we all have to figure it out for ourselves.

Another of the presuppositions of my field (heh, my field), the very first one, is that communication is constant. Every one of us is literally communicating with everyone around us everyone else every single moment. We just don't know it. Hell, half the time we think we're saying one thing while our body or our energy is saying another. Then every one else in the room is picking up a completely different message based on whatever madness they're afflicted with.

Have you ever complimented someone and they flipped out on you? Then you had to step back and look around with a stupid look on your face and all you could think was WTF? Yeah, I know you have because people are nuts. And I know you've done it to someone because you're nuts too. We all are. Well... that's why.

Another thing we all do, or have done, is to get overly self conscious when we think we've said or done something embarrassing. When we're nervous we swear everyone in the room knows it, like they smell it or something. How the hell do you not see my hands shaking? This exact thing keeps so many of us from saying or doing or trying the things that we really want to do, because of that paranoid sense that "they know!".

The flip side to that is that we also think that everyone should be able to tell when there's something going on with us. And if they don't we grunt, whine, fidget, cross our arms and huff, pout, and all manner of other business to call attention to ourselves. Then if that doesn't work we get angry or hurt. We think we're alone or no one cares about us. Often, if this goes on consistently for long stretches, we get trapped by that, w begin to feel we have no one we can turn to, or we lock it away so tightly that we can't or are afraid to let it out.

And even when they do notice somethings off, what do we do? "Forget it! You should know!" How many times has someone done that to you? How many times have you done it?

We're constantly caught between that rock and that hard place; between the assumption that everyone is noticing our insecurities laid bare before them and the frustration and sensitivities that they don't. But they never do.

And why don't people ever notice? Because 99% of the world is thinking about themselves. And even when we think of others, its in terms of what we want or how it affects us. That's not to talk bad about people, I do it too, and so you if you're honest about it. Its human nature. It's survival instinct. Its also why 1% of the world has most of the money. Which 1% do you suppose that is?

Our only real option then is to come right out and say it. Then, of course, you have the issue I always did, as my dear mother always said, "it's not what you say but how you say it."

Anthony Robbins has made a career on the premise that "The quality of your communication is the quality of your life". And according to Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people" 15% of success is based on talent; 85% is from how well you talk to and get along with other people. Its not the guy who has the best idea or does the best work, its the one who gets that idea across to other or gets people behind them, to lift them up, that gets to the top of the mountain.

Its those people that raise us up, that believe in us, our support system, that gets us to where we're going. Those are our ambassadors, the ones who spread the word for us, in turn get their people to believe in us too without our having to ask them. That's mostly because they can't help but gush about us.

Here's the irony of it all; you know how I said 99% of the world is always thinking about themselves? If that's true then why would they gush about us? Because the people who drip with excitement most thinking about us are the ones that WE gush over the most... to them!

Of course, the key is that you can't be full of shit. You can't do it geared towards what you're looking to get out of them; people smell bullshit from a mile away. But if you show genuine enthusiasm for someone else and who they are, what they do, then you fill them with a sense of importance. And every time they think of you thereafter they associate you and what you're doing with that same sense of importance. The more you matter, then the more they matter.

I'm famous for rubbing people the wrong way. It happened again just Saturday night, and so I've begun to look back and review all the ways to communicate better. You who read this know my heart better than most, but if you were to meet me in public without having done so would never know that this is how I really am. You would believe the exact opposite of me, that I'm a horrible human being. And that's the challenge facing us all.

You good people have taught me though that its in bearing my soul and making myself completely vulnerable that I show my true strength. But many of you have yet to learn that for yourselves, and fear can trap our souls behind a wall of pain.

Most of us are wrapped up in our own shit, too much to notice yours. But that doesn't mean that we don't care. So please, please, to my anonymous commenter, and everyone else, don't be afraid, come right out and say it. Tell me what's up and free yourself.

Or in the immortal words of Ronald Reagan

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

Attraction is NOT a choice, Jello Wrastlin and controlling the frame....

This past week I've been listening to audiobooks while I'm at work, ripped through three this week. It's pretty awesome to be honest; I love to read but its hard to find the time. Now I feel like I read all day and get paid for it.

I just finished "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick Up Artists" by Neil Strauss. It's depressing really, but what an incredible book. Basing an entire life on creating an illusion of greatness for other people will lead to an empty life every time. Sadder still, the game that these guys run works. Attraction is not a choice. And women cheat on their husbands and boyfriends at an alarming rate. Knowing that all it takes is a carefully constructed plan of action intermingled with some cheap parlor tricks wrapped up in a nice shirt and a smile makes it all the more ridiculous.

On the bright side, its all much clearer to me now that sex and relationships occupy two completely different slots in a woman's world. A woman will sleep with just about any guy that can make life seem like an adventure for a while. It takes something more to keep her. The terrifying part for the guy that wants to keep her is that she'll still go on an adventure from time to time.

I just heard more stories about chicks with boyfriends asking some guy she just met that night in a club to pop off in her mouth in the last three days than I ever wanted to hear in a lifetime. Of course, it doesn't help that it smacks right against my #1 fear.

My three worst fears in this order

Falling in love, getting married, having a few kids.... then finding out the kids aren't mine.
The prison rape scene in American History X
Ball Cancer

I encountered real life stories of two of the three just this week.... one of those stories was from a friend of mine who took it. Now I don't feel right even joking about it anymore. But.... I have a new hero.

Speaking of friends, my buddy Phatdaddy told me the other day that though it may sound strange because we haven't actually seen each other in fifteen years, he still feels the same about me as ever, that we're as close now at heart as we were back then.

I'm of the mind that relationships are eternal, that loves and friendships really do last forever; if it were up to me I'd still have every single person I once called a friend in my life. Some people just click so well together that fifty years can pass and they'll pick up right where they left off, as if no time has passed at all. And as if to prove it, my buddy Mike invited me to Jell-O Wrestling at the Double Down Saloon Saturday night, we hadn't seen each other in seventeen years and sure enough, it was like hanging with him in school all over again.

Funny, most of my friends are like that, the eternal type, the type that I'd click with after fifty years like nothing happened. You'll hear their names often, Scotty, Matt, Mike, Walt, Thaddeus, Phatdaddy, The Man... they're often contributors to this space and probably reading this. Give me ten of them over a hundred of those fake ass, fair weather turds any day. You know what you can do with that kind....

And that Jello wrestling was THE SHIT! Seriously, I've never experienced anything like that before. There was one pin fall in particular where a young lady with a nice body sat on her opponents chest and lay down, ala 69, and gave those of us in the right spot the full spread. EPIC!

That doesn't even get into the gorgeous woman in her underwear dancing in the window or the porn playing above the bar. It was just my kind of place, made all the better by good people and good friends. The wrastlin was a benefit for breast cancer; they were demonstrating how important it is to save breasts. Who doesn't love breasts? Even the ladies love breasts!

One nugget I came away with this week is that, whatever you have to say about him, Tom Cruise is THE MAN! Its his world and everyone else lives in it. Answer the poll to the right, because I'm curious about what you think. In NLP we have something we call framing, or the frame, which means the scope through which you see the world. Visualize a picture frame and the picture that's inside of it. If that were a window and you were watching things unfold, what's happening? The person that's in control of that scene, the one decides what's happening in that picture, they control the frame. The way the see things is the way its happening and everyone else has to fit it. It's their world and we live in it.

Most people react to how everyone else sees the world. Alpha's, all alpha's, male or female, business men or pick up artists, priests or politicians, slobs or movie stars, what sets them apart from the rest is how they look at that picture of the world; they control the frame. Tom Cruise is an alpha among alpha's without even trying. He always controls the frame. That's what makes him the man, its his world, his reality, and everyone else just lives in it, has to fit in.

One more thing I learned.....

We're all movie stars.... even the slobs.

We're all slobs.... especially the movie stars.

Science now proves SOULS MATES EXIST!

Every once in a while something comes along to remind me of what a science geek I used to be in a former life, and every time that thing completely blows my mind. What I'm going to tell you about today is true scientific fact, though I'm not allowed to divulge my source of the information at this time under penalty of death, or at the very least, the great discomfort that comes from being sued.

Just before my good friend Caryn made me try a piece of her burger Friday night, because everyone HAS to try a piece of the best burger in NY (and it is), we were lucky enough to attend a special event at the Directors Guild of America with my very good friend Walt. We were told if we talk about what went on there that night that they would cut out our tongues, but nothing was mentioned about the information we received, and I have to tell you about it. I'll try to keep it from getting too scientific for you.

There are two satellites in space that monitor the electromagnetic field surrounding the Earth. This is important because that field is what keeps everything here, like gravity, working and us from flying right off the planet. On 9/11 those satellites went NUTS, and scientists were scrambling to figure out why, which lead to new research.

As if turned out, it was the overwhelming out pour of human emotion that lead to spikes in the Earths electromagnetic field. What they had found out because of it is that the human heart has an electromagnetic field of its own that is in fact in tune with that field that surrounds the planet. Your heart is literally connected to the earth by a field of magnetic energy.

Now, everyone knows about magnets, on one end the magnets stick together, on the other, they repel and push away. This is caused by the magnetic fields, some are in harmony, they fit each other, flow together, so they stick. Makes sense? Still following? Well, when electromagnetic fields are in contact with one another eventually they begin to share energy, they begin to flow the same way and get into harmony with one another. This sharing of properties is why you can make a paper clip or a nail into a magnet by rubbing a magnet on it. We all tried that in science class as kids, right?

Well... the same thing works with people. The electromagnetic field around the human heart is connected to that of the earth, which is then connected to the electromagnetic field of all of the other hearts.

EVERY HUMAN HEART ON THE EARTH IS CONNECTED TO ONE ANOTHER THROUGH THEIR ELECTRO MAGNETIC FIELDS. That's right. Our hearts, all hearts, every one on the planet, is literally connected.

It goes further. Remember I was talking about making paper clip magnets? Well, the more you have contact with a person, the more you're around them, the more the electromagnetic fields in your hearts begin to act on and change each other. You begin to come into harmony with one another, you become connected. Anyone who's ever started hanging out with new people, and then started started saying a lot of the same things that these news friends do, movie quotes, terms, sayings, all that, even when those people aren't around know exactly what I'm talking about... it's the same thing.

In this way, every person that we come into contact with over our lives literally becomes a part of us. We literally become a part of them, through that connection in our hearts.

So what the hell does this have to do with Soul Mates? Well I'll tell you....

Through something called Quantum Entanglement they know that once 2 particles are connected they begin to act the same ways. If you were to separate these particles, and say, send them through a maze, then no matter how far away you sent the particles they would make the same exact moves at the same exact time. Think about that maze, the separated particles would go the same way in the maze at the same exact time, even if they were in different mazes on the other side of the universe. This has been tested and found true every single time.

That's why twins are able to feel what the other one is going through even when they are in different cities and haven't spoken to each other. Twins are particles that were separated, split in two, during the child development process.

They have also discovered now that if you take all of the empty space out of the universe, the matter, the hard stuff, would all fit inside the space the size of a green pea. And at one time it did. Every single particle, every bit of everything that makes what all of us are, was once connected at one point. We are all still connected.

So lets go back to our hearts and that electromagnetic field. We spend time with someone and those fields come into harmony, alignment with one another. Our hearts are connected. We are then forever linked, and so even when we are no longer together the particles still make the same movements at the same time inside of the maze.

Now, one of the basic building blocks of all science is that energy can not be created nor destroyed. When we die the energy in our bodies simply changes form. Well.... they know that the human heart is the very first organ to develop. When I was conceived the energy of the universe went into making my heart first. When I die that energy will go into something else, and at times, it will go into making the heart of a new person long after I'm gone. This is all fact, it's how it works. There's no arguing the point. SO....

A thousand years ago a man and a woman fall in love... the electromagnetic fields of their hearts come into alignment, their particles are forever linked to make the same exact moves at the same exact time across all time and space. Because they are making the same moves at the same time on the atomic level, when one's energy flows back into the creation of another human heart, so does the other. Making the same moves, they find one another again, if only briefly, their hearts come into harmony once more, and the entire process starts over again. And every time those hearts come into alignment, every time the particles link, the field of energy is amplified, becomes stronger, and so does their link. So if after thousands of years of connecting over and over again.... and so there you have it. Soul Mates.

One thing that has to be remembered in all of this, however, is that "time" is purely a human concept. It doesn't not exist outside of the human experience and certainly not on the quantum level of energy. To your soul, the particles of energy buzzing around that electromagnetic field around your heart that's linked to the earth and every other heart, 5 seconds and 5 thousand years is the exact same thing. To the universe there is no difference. So you may find your soul mate during every one of your lifetimes or you only find them every thousand years. It also doesn't mean that they're going to be your lover, it could be your best friend, it could be your dog, or it could be your doppelganger on the other side of the planet. But your soul mate does exist.

I have a friend whom, the day we started talking, I had a dream about her. I saw what she looked like and exactly what she would be wearing a few hours before I even knew that she would be there. Over the years I've known her I would randomly send her messages about something, and it was exactly what she was thinking about, or exactly what she was feeling, or exactly what she needed to hear, so and and so forth. And many, many times now she would ask me how I did that, how I always know. Well, science now proves that its because our hearts are connected. This doesn't mean that we're soul mates, just that we have a particle link.

And every one of us has a similar link with other people. So just relax and let the Universe work its magic. It will all come into alignment when its ready, and not on our schedule.

Think about that for a while and get back at me.

but its SEXY!!! and.... you can't be on all the time.....

Ugh! I have a headache.

All I can say is thank God for coffee, sweet nectar of life!

Before I begin today I have to give a shout out to Mimz. I got an anonymous comment on last night's post and all it said was Mimz, and being curious I had to see what that was about, which is how it's done; they suckered me in. Unfortunately for our friend here, they didn't give enough information to go on and I don't know which of the many Mimz that comes up in Google search that you are, which leaves us a valuable lesson. Be specific. Make sure people know exactly what you want them looking at.

I also want to welcome our new Peruvian friends to out little club here. Nice to have you with us.

Last night I played my first competitive Darts match in a long time. When I stepped up to the board and saw that I was matched up against a woman I couldn't help but feel my chest puff up, the machismo flare. There was no way I was going to lose to a woman. I wouldn't say that she was good looking, but she definitely knew how to rock what she had... SEXY!

Its a good thing for all of us out there to keep in mind, men and women alike. We can't all be good looking, but we can all add a little something to the way that we carry ourselves, a little swagger, that air of confidence that tells everyone "Yeah, I know you want me" no matter how we look that does in fact make people want us. You know what I'm talking about too. We've all had or known or seen at least one person at some point in our lives that we had to step back and say "I know they're not good looking at all.... but they're so damn SEXY.... I want them anyway...."

I think that's something we can all capture for ourselves, use it to capture someone for ourselves, no matter what came in the package we were born with.... sexy is so much more than good looking....

But I'm going off on a tangent here aren't I? Besides, this chick didn't have it like that, not at all. Just a lil sexy. So my first two throws are pretty nice... I'm feeling good, right? And then this chick unleashes hell and blows me right off the board. I'd like to say that I'm above that male need to prove that I'm a MAN baby, YEAH, that chauvinistic impulse that tells us that men are always better than the ladies in anything involving competition... but last night proved that I'm not.

Part of me was embarrassed, but at the same time... you can't be on all the time....

It forced a conversation that I had later in the evening with a woman on our team. Darts isn't like most other sports where man muscle is a factor. Women have better hand eye coordination than men do, if anything its something that fits them well, that they should excel at... yet every professional I can think of in the game is a man. All we could come up with as a reason for it is because the nature of how its played.... in the bar with the guys. I guess it's something to do to get away from the wife. Oddly, all of the pros I know of are also English....

I'm all over the place as I write this, I know. Its called a hangover; keeps interrupting my flow. I knew when I had reached my limit last night, but ended up having two more after that. What was I going to do? We were at this nice Irish bar in Rockville Center called Stingers... they really know how to take care of you in there. Here I thought the buy back was dead, but they really hooked it up. I give it my ringing endorsement, I'll be in there again and I hope you're there with me. It'll be a good time; we'll have a party.

Now it's my head that's ringing. That's what happens when the bartender hooks it up on a Monday night. Part of me should be embarrassed, there's a word for someone who gets wrecked in the bars on a Monday night; A DRUNK, but that's not what I'm talking about. I should be embarrassed for the state of today's blog.... but... you can't be on all the time....

Mariano Rivera is now the all time saves leader in baseball, greatest closer of all time. People have slobbered all over his nuts for years, but not me. I've always said, as great as he is (and he IS great), he's still over rated. I'm a HUGE Yankee fan, love the Yanks more than anything, they're my first love, so this isn't hating on my part. You can be great and still be over rated when the masses still slobber all over your balls without seeing your failures... think Reagan for Republicans... Clinton for Democrats... (I still don't believe elections actually exist), but Mo blows every other save against the Red Sox. He lost the 2001 World Series, there's no other way to put it, then blamed it on Brosius. Against the good teams he's an average pitcher, and that's a fact, the numbers back it up.

And when we talk greatness, real greatness, we judge it against the other greats, not the mediocre slobs who just showed up.... but hey.... you can't be on all the time....

Don't get me wrong though, the guy still is great...

As I'm writing this I've realized that I haven't done a very good job of showing off people that are ugly, yet still sexy. Most of everything that I've found is someone who is hot. But there's still a big difference between sexy and good looking.

I've also realized, as I've been writing this, that I'm not doing a very good job of actually writing anything. I'm off my game today, way off, and its degenerated into an excuse to post pictures of drunks and women... but then.... you can't be on all the time....

So here's a little something for the rest of us, those of us that aren't the beautiful people, to show that no matter how hot or sexy the rest of "THEM" are... in the end, we're all nasty in exactly the same way....

Now THAT... is SEXY!!!

The 48 Laws of Power? What the... I have the Power!

I just finished The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers. The book is really a prerequisite for many of the the things that I do, but I've been putting it off for a long while now because its basically a sociopath's handbook and I have no desire to turn myself into a serial killer.

Learning how to manipulate people like this is just pure evil on many levels, and much like Arthur and Camelot, my dream is to inspire the best in men, and contribute to the reformation of a society built closer to the heart. Even the way that its written is meant to manipulate you and twist your mind into thinking that this is the way that everyone should be.

The scary thing about this though is that every bit of it is dead on balls accurate. People do every one of these things ever day, and it doesn't take much for you to associate the laws with examples taken from your own life over and over again.

Not every piece of information in here is twisted though, and a good portion of it are truisms that have been around since the beginning of time, and are just plain good advice!

For instance, Law 48 is to "Assume Formlessness". Bruce Lee based Jeet Kune Do on using formlessness as form. "Be like water" he said. In NLP one of our major presuppositions is that the element with the most flexibility is usually the controlling element within the system. Basically, the person that gives themselves the best chance to adjust on the fly to any of the possible things that can happen has the best chance of coming out ahead of that situation best.

Beyond that, it's brilliantly written, and gives you great insight into a lot of history that you may not have ever known before. It forced me to look at things that I thought I knew from a completely different perspective. It's both a history lesson and blueprint for life rolled into one, done in a tone that sounds like a Vincent Price horror movie.

If nothing else, as Sun Tzu said in The Art of War, know your enemy. There are people out there using these tricks and tactics against you every single day whether you want to believe it or not. Knowledge is only power if you're able to apply it. In a lot of ways this can be used as mental self defense. I just pray to God that more people use it for good than evil, though experience and history books warn otherwise.

For myself, however, the best thing that I've taken from all of this is the idea of our own personal power. If you look on my website, Coachlasota.com, I tell people that what I teach is empowerment. Last week, in Attraction is NOT a choice, Jello Wrastlin and controlling the frame...., I went on in detail about Tom Cruise and how he always controls his frame, he always decides what the reality around him is, how its his world and we just live in it. With the way that things tend to work with the energy floating across the universe all in connection and all of that, it makes perfect sense that this would hit me this way now.

We all have our own personal power. Its our center, that place where you feel good, you feel in control, clear of mind, no worries and in that moment everything is how we want it. We control the frame, and it's all in balance.

But any time we let any other person affect us, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, the one you want but can't have, your boss, the ass that just cut you off in traffic.... anytime you let someone change your emotional state, whether good or bad, you're giving them your power. Let someone make you happy or sad and you're allowing them to control you and how you feel in that moment. How much power is that, the power to dictate how you feel about yourself? Too much to trust with anyone but yourself, that's how much.

And the same goes for situations. Whatever is going on in your life either you can do something about it or you can't. If you can do something about it you're in control, you have power over whatever it is, until you choose to do nothing. If you can't do anything about it, well, that happened, and no amount of worry is going to change things anyway. But you still have total control over how you feel about it. You're the only one who does. That is, until you let these situations dictate how you feel, to change your emotional state.

I believe, in my limited knowledge, that this is the exact essence of Eastern Philosophy. Things like "The 48 Laws of Power" and all of the ways of Master Pick Up Artists that I've discussed before, and will again, certainly work to allow you control of this power, or to take it from others. But they all boil down to simple tricks and manipulation. You don't need them.

In my opinion, that is exactly what true enlightenment is, to finally feel that balance, that center in yourself, and to always know how to stay within that, how to keep that, how to maintain it in the face of any circumstance or influence of any other person without needing any of that other bullshit to do so.

Only now do I begin to understand.

I HAVE THE POWER!!!

And so do you.

And if you know what I mean, if you see it, if you feel it.....

Congratulations, you've just taken your first step into a larger world!

P.S. - Spike TV is Great!

Facebook - The High School Lunch Room, and the power of BELIEF!!!

"All things are possible to he who believes" - Mark 9:23

I didn't think I'd have anything for you today, I've been exhausted for the most part to the point where nothing was passing through my head all day and I really didn't have anything to talk about. I had actually fell asleep until the music from The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring had woken me. It was only about 7:30 and way too early to be out like that; that's where you wake up at 2 AM and you're shot for the rest of the day. I know you've been there before, haven't you?

For no reason, just thought you should see this

It got me to shoot up; something had to be done or I'd be right back in the same spot fifteen minutes later. So I checked Facebook; they're messing with the interface again to disastrous results. Its bad enough that the site has now degenerated to a virtual high school cafeteria; think about it, its a big room where you know a ton of people, all of them talking at the same time, all about themselves. Everyone is making a spectacle of themself as they walk in, trying to garner as much attention as they can. You move over to your "table", the twenty or so friends that you talk to everyday are waiting, and you start to shoot the shit.

Every once in a while you spot someone you know on the other side of the lunch room that you have to find something out from, or tell them about something, so you go over to their table for a few minutes, and then back to your friends. Once in a while they come to you. Then the bell rings and its off to wherever it is you have to go next.

Now its worse, you have to filter through three pages of "top stories", which is the type of ridiculous nonsense fifty people trying to nail the girl who made the post comment on that leaves you wishing you never commented yourself in the first place. After a few straight days of steady climbing on the hit chart my readership for this spot fell like a circus freak from the ugly tree. I blame this new cluster for the mess....

But then I got a message from a friend of mine telling me how much she was enjoying what I do here, and I felt that I'd be letting you all down if I didn't do my thing.

Abraham Lincoln once said "I am a success today because I had a friend who believed in me, and I didn't have the heart to let them down." It's amazing the power that one person believing in you can have. The thought of that led me to thinking about my first book, VPI - the Saga Begins, and how I came to be published, which I'm not sure how many of you know.

Of course, the swirling energy, all of it flowing together and for a reason theme sticks with us. Fellowship of the Ring on the TV led directly to me writing this now. That book was the very thing that made me decide that I wanted to be a writer. JRR Tolkien is probably still the single biggest influence on my style to this day. Like him, I too tend to be long winded and go off on tangents, but the man paints with his words.

I started writing VPI back when I was twenty years old, mostly for shits and giggles. I'd gotten the idea for the book while reading "Neverwhere" by Neil Gaiman while I was on a trip to Virginia to visit my sister who was in college down there at the time. During my spare time in my mail room job I would write a scene or two in spiral note pads, then pass it around to my friends. They kept cracking up, so I kept writing. It was the only reason I did it, to entertain my friends, that was the fun in it for me.

I still walk around with the spiral note pads. That's what I wrote this in. I still write to entertain my friends; that's why you have this to read today. The fun of it for me is still when you read and enjoy it; that's my reward.

When I left that job and no longer had people to pass my story to I basically stopped writing. Every here and there I'd do more in it, almost always when someone new got into it, but without that it just wasn't fun. Even my girlfriend, who read Harry Potter seven times while I was with her, had no interest in reading my book, which tells you all you need to know about that relationship. Four more years passed and I hadn't hadn't added one word to it.

In that time was my whole Vegas debacle and the aftermath that ensued. Over ten years I had written sixty thousand words of a novel, and a dream, that was never going to go anywhere.

Then one afternoon, in the midst of being lost and not knowing what to do with myself, I came home to find a package from my dear friend Scotty. I had met Scotty in Vegas and we've talked almost every day since. If it wasn't for the worst thing that ever happened to me I never would have met one of the best friends I've ever had. How's that for everything happening for a reason?

Inside that package was a printed and bound copy of what Scotty had of my book. Seeing that, my book, in print gave me goosebumps and a charge you can't believe. The hair stood up, well, everywhere. I didn't even remember giving him that much of it, but that wasn't all that was in it. There was also a note.

In that note, which of course I still have, my friend told me that I had gone too far to stop now, and if he had done that much without finishing he couldn't live with it. His dream too was to one day be a writer, and so he started a publishing company in order to learn the process. My book he explained, when I finished, was going to be the first one that he published.

Here was someone who believed in me so much that he was going to put his money and reputation on the line for me at a time when I didn't even believe in myself. It seemed to me as though he was the only one who did. But that one person's belief was enough. At that point had taken me more than ten years to write the first sixty thousand words. After getting that letter I wrote thirty thousand words in the next thirty days, and insane task, mostly during lunch breaks and the train ride home, to finish the book.

Since then we've learned a great deal about what it takes to break in as professional writers, as well as the publishing business. No matter how good your work is, people don't buy your workm they buy your name; like the facebook cafeteria, they buy the hype. Now the publishing company's goal is to help new artists build that name.

In case you hadn't known this before, Abraham Lincoln was a collossel failure at pretty much everything he ever tried. He then went on to become, arguably, America's greatest President. All because he had a friend who believed in him, and he didn't have the heart to let them down.

The things I talk about in this space are a reflection of what's happening with me and I feel and what I think about it and the world around me at the time. I've been told its been much better since I've been writing it just for myself. But the part of writing it that's for me is whatever joy you get out of it. And it doesn't take much to keep me going, just knowing that you get something out of it too.

If there's a lesson in any of this, something to take out of it, then I hope its this:

It's amazing what people are capable of with just a little bit of belief. It can turn losers into winners, failures into Presidents, dreams into something real. And that magic can make the change in a moment. But if my good friend didn't let me know it then I'd have given up, and you wouldn't be reading this right now. So if it's someone else that you believe in, make sure you let them know. They could be the next Abraham Lincoln, and your telling them could be all the difference.

YOU WANT ME!!!

I suckered you in with that one, didn't I? I know, I'm not right, am I?

You see, there are certain trends that I notice, things that they tell you about all the time, but we always swear we don't do, or get caught up into ourselves. So I conducted a little experiment here and I used you to do the testing.

SHOCKING!!!

I know. About as shocking as seeing Rodrigo's junk in those Monster of Cock videos. The ladies have all asked for some penis since yesterday's post, which I can't bring myself to deliver. Sorry girls. But google those videos. This girl can't believe someone has a unit the size of her face. Or maybe she's just got blowers cramp. Heh, blowers cramp.... you get it? How often?

There's something about this pic right here that makes me hungry, and that's the point of today's post; it makes everybody hungry. The trends I started to mention are in the things that people get into, what they look at, what they want to see, and even for this blog the same trends swirl like a dead gold fish down a toilet.

Earlier in the week I added a post with Lindsay Lohan looking like a hot slutty mess in the cover picture and the word SEXY in big bold type in the title and people went nuts for it. It didn't matter that what was written in there was mostly just me prattling on about some nonsense. I caught your eye with something naughty, something you might want to see, men and women alike, and set the hook with one of the magic words that gets us all going. It made no difference that what I wrote was a result of feeling like this guy....

The amount of hits I got went through the roof! You all loved it. The next day I had something up on The 48 Laws of Power with what I thought was a really good message. There was a picture of the book advertising the blog entry and some solid substance.... readership fell through the trap door. Hey, let's combine those last two pictures....

How great is this toilet. I want one. Reminds me of a pair of shoes I almost bought just for the laugh in it. So I responded by using a hot picture of Natalie Portman's ass for yesterday's blog, and the word FACEBOOK in the title. Again, eye candy picture with a key word to pique your interest, and sure enough, more of you read that post in the first hour it was up than read the prior day's post in a full day. Natalie Portman's ass had nothing to do with it, and neither did any of the other pictures of the sexy ladies I put in there. I did it to prove a point.

We all like to think of ourselves as people of substance, above all the animalistic drives that no one ever really wants to talk about in public. But it's that very balance of letting the animal out but never letting others know about it, the things we only mention in hushed tones because there's something wrong, something perverted about us if that's what we're into, but excites us all the same that we're seduced by. That picture up above looks like two teen aged girls on a dirty mattress in the filthy back room of a human trafficking operation... and still something about makes you go Mmmm!!!

And we're all drawn in by it, obsessed with it, every one of us, like demon possessed Taco Bell dogs riding the white horse. None of us are immune. I used the pictures I did knowing too that it might alienate some of my female audience, which I don't ever want to do, not just because of my love for the ladies, but because ironically my audience is made mostly of women despite what I say and how I talk. It was a calculated risk, and how did they respond? They asked for me to post pictures of Penis! Well, I don't know if I can comply with those wishes, not because of any homophobe thing, but because I really have no idea what you ladies find sexy. How's this?

What, that's not sexy? The truth of the matter is that we all fall for those same tricks and tactics. Marketing experts use it against us every day and in almost every aspect of life. If you consciously think about it, the things you're into, the things that catch your eye, you'll begin to see it everywhere.

Looks may only be a shit test, and they are, or at least they are for the people who have the looks. We're not supposed to notice because everyone notices all the time. You're supposed to be different, you're supposed to set yourself apart from the rest, yet a catch phrase stretched across something alluringly sexual gets you every time.

Whether you realize it or not, subconsciously I just planted a message into your brain with the last two pictures. It's the ass that slipped it by your defenses, and this is how its done.

You want me. I know you want me.

And she's right, the girl with the panties. She's got you right where she wants you, and so does whichever sponsor gave her those silky draws. All the dudes reading this should look away, I hate to do this to you, it pains me to have to do it, but I have to add something here for the ladies, it's only fair

Again, I have no idea if that's what you're looking for. All I know for sure is that this next one... no one's looking for...

UGH! That's not even right. But these caped crusaders do a great job proving another point. These last two pictures are making me physically sick. There's nothing about them that makes me want to buy into anything that's going on there, and I know the same will be said by all my brotha's out there. And probably the same with the ladies. But a beautiful woman can sell anything to anyone, just by showing up. All the guys want her, and the other ladies either want to be her, or see why all the guys want her. We're all going to check her out, at least for a while. Ok....I need to change this QUICK....

There, that's much better. But it's not enough to cleanse my soul after that last mess, is it?

There we go. And thank God for it. Thanks babe, I think I really needed that.

On a serious note though.... it's actually all a terrible thing, and we're all part of the machine. I know some of the people that make their living in this world, being the one who entice you to follow and fall in with whatever nonsense they're peddling. Looks are a shit test, and most of us fail it every day, usually many times in the course of that day. The beautiful people want you to be different, to notice them for who they are and not for that ass that has the message spread across it.

Eh... that's bullshit too. Like I said, I know some of the people in this world, and while you'd think they'd know better they get sucked into it too. If anything, they get sucked in faster and lose their soul to it. After a while its who they are, its all they know. But it gives me a great idea for another social experiment if you want to help.....

You want me. I know you want me.

IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!

A lot happened since last Thursday night, a lot of things that I can and probably should talk about, but as I took the train ride home from the city last night I was struck by an overwhelming feeling that's stuck with me now in the morning that.... IT DOESN'T MATTER.... what I talk about.

I think we all go through days like that once in a while, when it all just seems so mundane and we get caught up in our routines. I'll go to work doing something I don't really want to do, come home and eat some dinner, maybe watch a few shows I don't really care about, get into a couple of conversations about things I don't really want to hear and go to bed to do it all over again in the morning.

That's right buddy, What a Horror! This guy knows exactly what I'm talking about. That was my favorite part of living with my girlfriend and I think the reason behind why most guys get married, because none of it really matters, so you might as well have someone to eat that dinner and watch those shows with. And if it doesn't matter anyway, why go through all the pain in the ass details and hassels of finding someone new to do that crap with every night?

While we're on the subject, someone got the perfect image of my dream girl... look at that slender waist flowing into her perfectly round bottom... all brought together by her clown face! It doesn't matter that this is a cartoon, she's out there somewhere, she has to be. Who else would fall for a clown like me.....

And it doesn't matter that someone got this picture of a leopard making a dopey face.... because the picture was the only thing that made it back alive. After this shot was taken one of the fastest animals alive ran down the camera man... and ate him. You can't out run a leopard... what are you crazy?

Just like it doesn't matter that it's pouring out here. When you do your push ups in your draws anyway, no amount of rain is going to keep you from getting that workout in. Besides.... this way the sweat just washes right off. And you can tell she's been at it a long time, look at that perfect form. Her back would be completely straight if her ass wasn't so big.

Speaking of big asses, look at the size of Val Kilmer now. Somehow I doubt Iceman's going to be able to squeeze himself back in that cockpit. But it doesn't matter, he's Madmartigan, and he is great.

No matter where you are or what corner of the world you hail from, race, creed, color or religion, it doesn't matter. Men everywhere pray to the same altar.

Which is why it doesn't matter that they're standing in some random hallway, she's going to take her panties off anyway, and no one's going to say a damn thing about it. If anything, she'll be hailed as a goddess. Hell, that could be the back room at my beer distributor. These two were sent on a beer run, because another thing that doesn't matter is what these two look like or what they're taking off.... because somewhere there's some guy tired of nailing her....

You see. This guy couldn't take it anymore. What ever you have or don't have in life, you could have the most money in the world, the hottest wife, the coolest job, but it doesn't matter one bit if your god damned head explodes.

No sweetheart, that's not what you do with these things, you're not supposed to put your head through that. Let's be honest though, you're young, dumb, and I only bought this camera so that I could get girls like you up here alone and coerce you into making a mistake you'd regret for the rest of your life if you hadn't already found a way to justify it.... And it's working too... you've already got your legs spread, so it doesn't matter what you do with the damn picture frame.

That's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!

That rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!

And if you don't get the joke I'm not going to try to explain it to you. It doesn't matter.

I have no idea who theses people are or what they're selling, but I doesn't matter. I don't care. I tell you over and over again there are two things I love, chicks beating the hell out of each other, and watching people get kicked.... so needless to say this just made my day. I have to get that frame off of that one girls head and put this in it, hang it on my wall....

Ole boy doesn't care if he gets caught with his tongue up another girls skirt, or if she tells him to get out of there or never returns his calls.... either way he's going to have someone playing with his nuts. Proving why it's so easy to get chicks when you already have one at home.... because it doesn't matter....

Uh... yeah... I don't even know where to go with this... but it doesn't matter..... because....

Because next up is a picture of cleavage for no good reason other than I like it. I probably should have cropped this picture and left her head out. Hell, her face could get ripped off by the monkey in that last shot and end up looking like the dude in the blue suit with his brains flying everywhere.... as long as there's cleavage it doesn't matter... you won't even notice.

She is the greatest fan... EVER! If we had one or two ladies like this at my softball games every week we'd never lose. In fact, seeing this has me inspired. I think we're going to have this happen one way or another. Of course, it could backfire completely. It could be a major distraction. "We had a game? What? I was lookin at her.... next to that who cares how we played, it doesn't matter!"

Sometimes a picture really does say it all, doesn't it? Ok, ok, so at this point today's blog has gotten out of control, and there's not much point in going on with something that's not going anywhere, so I'll leave it with this... whether you like it or not....

or what I think for that matter....

We spend so much time getting ourselves worked up and bent out of shape over anything and everything when in this cosmic spam we call life, none of it really matters anyway, only our experience and how much we enjoy it. Whether it's the Pope, the President, you or a bum in the street, we all wake up in the morning and try to scratch out our existence. If you're lucky you have a few good friends to have some beers with to blow off steam afterwards. And if you're REALLY lucky, you have someone special to go home to and share those experiences with. And then you have to wake up the next day and do it all over again.

In the end, that's all it really is.

Fancy Going Halves on a Bastard?

No, not this Fat Bastard. I'm talking about the best pick up line I've ever heard. I think I'm going to use that from now on every time I meet someone new. I got it from "The Little Book of Flirting" by Stewart Ferris, which probably isn't the most informative work in the world if you wanted to actually use it out in the field, but MAN did I laugh my ass off reading it.

Truth is, it doesn't really matter what you say when you approach someone as long as you have the balls to say anything at all, and a smile on your face when you do it. That's the problem that most people have in general, having the balls to do it, and of course the people that do are usually the type of ass that are so full of themselves that it'll never hit them what a horrible human being they actually are....

But then we wonder why its people like this that take over the world. What a Horror! Of course, if you're going to use a line like "Fancy going halves on a bastard?" it helps to have props.

Bust one of these bad boys out and even the coldest fish alive has no choice but to laugh. This is Pulitzer prize winning stuff here people. And this is either a tremendous job with photoshop or the greatest candy bar on earth. Cadbury... they make the cream egg... and help deliver the cream for her eggs....

But you always have to be careful of what you wish for....

Because you just might get it. If that's not a Fancy Bastard I don't know what is. Of course, he could just be English. No one delivers the word "BASTARD!" quite like the Brits, makes me laugh my ass off... gets me every time.

That's right! Happy Birthday... eh, whatever, it seems that I've boxed myself into a corner here, forgot where I was going with this. But if you don't like it....

You tell 'em Johnny Cash! That right there is a man after my own heart. Misunderstood, constantly fighting his own demons, and seemed to get caught out there all the time giving off a certain public image that did nothing to show what a huge heart he had and how much he cared or helped his fellow man. I have a picture of a letter from him to John Wayne that proves it.

Speaking of a certain public image.... people need to leave Lindsay Lohan alone. Yeah, she's a drunk and probably a skank that's constantly going out there, making a mess of herself, and getting caught in a position that makes her look like a total slut.... but how is that any different than any other hot young girl out there? Go look at your facebook friends and what they put up for people to see on purpose and you tell me. Just because a girl is famous doesn't mean she can't do the same nasty shit that makes her look like a pig any less than the hot young girls you know.

Would you rather it was this guy that was flashing the half naked drunken photos? Geez, look at this guy. Look at his neck? Is that a gullet or a tumor? How do you even get yourself one of those? Somehow it reminds me of eating at Sizzler with my brother and sister one afternoon....

They sit us down, and at the table behind us was a mentally handicapped woman who looked exactly like Beaker from the Muppets. And when she talked, her mouth even moved the same way. If you had told me that someone had their fist up her ass working her like a puppet, I would have believed it. But as much as I get a bad rep for these things, like Johnny Cash, I can't be the ass that's sitting there laughing at the handicapped, I really can't do it. It's just not right. If I'm going to laugh at retards it's going to be the cast of Jersey Shore... and the people who love them. But I couldn't eat that way either, so I had to change my seat so that I wasn't facing her. Poor woman. Poor Beaker.

Only because I had to change the subject.... actually, if you're going to pull a line like the one this whole spot has been based on, it should be used on the type of woman that's taking pictures prancing around in her underwear. Why is it when they do it its sexy, or art, but when I take pictures prancing around in MY underwear.... well.... they call it something else...

That is one damn strong chair.

Beaker?

Well... that's all I've got for today. But hit me up with some of the best pick up lines you've ever heard. I'm going to go out there and use them, with my own spin of course, and see if they work. Maybe I'll make it a video. I'm also going to look into getting some of those Cadbury Bastard Bars... wow, it just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

The Choking Boston Red Sox, the Nut Riding Sports Media and how to fix the Mets!

I'm feeling pretty incredible this morning, euphoric even, a lot like many of us do on opening day of baseball season, the day that officially rings in the end of the long winter for many of us. These feelings don't come around often, and could be gone in the next twenty minutes, so I'm going to enjoy this as much as I possibly can....

And it honestly has nothing to do with the Boston Red Sox colossal choke job. I try not to talk about sports here or that's all I would do, but for today I have to make an exception.....

It doesn't look like this is going to happen this year now, does it? The baseball season seemed to go really quickly this year, but not quickly enough for the SAWX, a team with a 160 million dollar payroll that couldn't even make it into the playoffs after holding a 9 game lead late in the year.

And while the players hang their heads in shame, and rightfully so, its not even my hatred for this team that has me giddy at the prospect of their finding themselves in the same spot I will be for the second season, drunk and beer bloated in front of my TV. Of course, I'm a HUGE Yankee fan, but that just wouldn't be the same without the Red Sox, after all, Batman needs the Joker to keep those juices flowing, and over the years of the rivalry I've grown to at least respect their fans.

You tell me what's NOT to be respected here. What makes this such a beautiful thing to me is how Sports Media always finds their darlings and slobbers all over their nuts, only to be wrong almost every time. A lot was made this season of the Yankees ridiculous payroll, age, and lack of starting pitching, just like it always is, but any time you turned on ESPN this summer all the talk was about how the Red Sox had already won the World Series, so we might as well give it to them now.

Sometimes it's almost as if these media outlets are funded by these darling teams themselves and full of on air personalities that are no different than every other fan that thinks they know the game because they watch it all the time, when in reality, they don't know shit about shit. The Philadelphia Eagles are a prime example of this if you can remember all the Donovan McNabb CockRiding... look at him now.

Tell me rat faced Dustin Pedroia doesn't look exactly like the guy who shits himself in Trainspotting. No wonder they couldn't get it done. But I'm sure that you can come up with plenty of other examples, like any of ESPNs college football shows blowing the SEC, which only makes me want them to lose every game. Back when USC was cheating for championships the Pac 10 could do no wrong.

Why is is that you never hear about Boston's 160 Million Dollar payroll, but it's always what a genius Theo Epstein is?

Speaking of ESPN Darlings with massive payrolls that can't get it done, Jose Reyes once again proved what a gutless puke he is taking himself out of the last game of the year for personal glory. The Mets spent 120 Million on a team that finished 8 games below .500 and 25 games out, but you'll never hear about it because the powers that be over at the most powerful Sports outlet there is, the ones not sucking up Sox man juice, are Met fans. It pours out in all of their broadcasts.

That's a franchise in real trouble. Think about how great this is though, either the Mets give 20 million a year to an aging speed player with leg problems so bad he can't stay on the field and has proven to be gutless in the clutch time and again, or they let their best player go for nothing and completely alienate what's left of the fan base stopping them from buying tickets from a broke ass franchise.... they're fucked either way.

BUT I HAVE A SOLUTION FOR THEM....

Let Jose Reyes go and deal David Wright... I've got replacements for them right here...

I understand that you can't have a team in New York without some star power though, and I've taken that under consideration. So leading off, playing Centerfield....

Julia Styles... why not. She can't be any worse of a ballplayer than she is an a actress, can she? Put me in coach, look at me, I can be Centerfield....

But the Mets need a solid # 1-2 starting pitching type. Got it covered... who better than New York native....

Alyssa Milano. That's right, how can she NOT know how to pitch, she's been run through by every pitcher in the league, hasn't she? Don't worry Alyssa, you've been my # 1 starter since I was 8 years old and nothing will ever change that. Not even scurrying out of the Met locker room pulling your uniform on...

But there are so many more holes to fill on this squad, and I aim to fill them all.... at second base....

I have no idea who she is, other than being Latin, but isn't that the formula the Mets employ for filling out their roster? Besides, how can you argue against calling her up and giving her a shot in the bigs, just look at this form....

That's right baby, get down low and keep those balls in front of you. Play them off your chest if you have to. You've got plenty of time to get him.

In today's game you just can't win without some cheap players filling out the roster, can you? The Mets need to bring in a catcher.

Here we go, getting into her crouching position. Now this is a player I can really get behind. She can catch what I'm hurling in any day of the week. That's my sleeper pick for rookie of the year right there. But we're not finished, are we? Who do we bring out of the pen when we need someone to quiet those bats?

Talk about closing it out down the stretch. Well... maybe not, but these gals can't be much worse than the product on the field right now, and if you're going to SUCK, do it right! Give the fans something to cheer about, a reason to come out to the ballpark next season. I can't stand the Mets, but with this roster I'd have to seriously consider season tickets.

No matter who you root for though, there's one thing I'm sure we all can agree about....

Thank God it's Football season.... And....

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!

A Real Man... A Great Man... and the Man Cave!

The countdown begins at 11.

Igloo and the Big Man stopped by last night for a few hours, we got a good fire going and chilled out in the yard. There's nothing more manly than building a good fire with the guys, knocking down a few and shooting the shit, is there?

I'm half way through the classic relationship book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by Dr. John Gray and there are a few points that he really nails that men and women everywhere should always keep in mind. Hey, there's usually a reason something becomes a classic, right? I touched on it in my piece titled "Where Everybody Knows Your Name...." , and I think everyone needs their special place, but for men it's an absolute necessity to have that place we can retreat to and be left alone, away from our problems, and just be guys. In a sense, it allows us to reset ourselves, recharge, and get back into the fight.

You know what I'm talking about. The Man Cave.

Us guys are really simple creatures, and aside from the NEED to get laid (yes, it IS a need for guys, biological function, it's how we're built) there are three essentials that no guy anywhere can ever do without if he's going to feel like a real man and have any hope for happiness. The Man Cave is an integral part in that, and I'll explain why.

Now there's a Man Cave I'd like to get into!

The first Manly essential is the need to feel like a Man, the need to feel great. We all know how that shows itself, its how we fight and argue and compete over everything. Its why we beat our chests like Gorilla's and show off, because we want to show the world I AM A MAN.... and I am GREAT!

And what's the absolute best way to show the rest of the world that you're are, in fact, a Great Real Man?

There she is... or someone like her. And if we can't beat our chests a little, find some way to stand out and show the rest of the guys, "screw you pal, I'm a man too damn it!" well, we feel like less than a man. And less than a man is no man at all. And if you're not a man, then what do you have? Nothing, that's what.

MacGyver is the Man, isn't he? I once saw him build a bomb out of a paper clip, a metal pail and a block of ice. This guy can figure out how to solve anything. And that's what makes him the man, because the second essential that all men have is the need to fix everything. There's a problem? What problem? I got this!

There are always issues, challenges to face, things that have to be done. Men pride themselves on always getting it done, being that go to guy. We want the final shot. We want to be able to take care of everything. Don't worry, I've got this, and have everyone trust us that we do have it under control. As guys, when we're not thinking about how to get laid, we're trying to solve all the problems of everyone we know. Because Great Real Men get it done... and I'm going to show you how! Take away a man's ability to fix things and he might as well be a....

WHOA! You wanted to build a fire.... NOW THAT'S A FIRE! Now I've got to go figure out how to beat my....

But the third thing that all guys have is an essential that flies under the radar and most women never seem to understand, despite the fact that this one is something they should know all too well themselves.

All men everywhere need to feel like they're Real Men, Great Men, right now just by being themselves. Not when we have the right job, not when we have the right house, the big bank account, or we're groomed enough to be showed off to the friends like some damned show pony. We want all of those things for ourselves anyway, but only because they let us get the best toys. And all guys love having new toys....

But let's face it, where in the outside world can a guy go without the constant pressure of "you have to BE more", "you have to HAVE more", "you have to BE better"..... the entire reason we all beat our chests so much is because since the beginning of time ladies like the ones in the pictures up above have been telling us that we have to do all of these things to be "GOOD ENOUGH" to give us the time of day.... but that's the furthest thing from what any guy actually wants....

The guys.... our boys... are the ones that couldn't give a damn about any of that. Amongst each other, we're all MEN, and we're all great, especially when we're farting, belching, and all the other nasty things we do that are still just as funny now as they were at 10 years old. We don't have to be more. We don't have to change for each other, be better. In fact, if someone tries to change... CHANGE? What are you fuckin crazy?! What do you want to go and do that for?

You show me a Man that allows others in kind to gather, a Man who makes it known that you're a Real Man, a Great Man picking your nose and scratching your balls just by drinking that beer and oogling those hooters no matter where you have the stains on your shirt or what condition the car you rode in on.... just like God intended.... And I'll show you a leader of men, a Man other MEN will follow anywhere....

The Man Cave is essential for that. It's a place where MEN can come together and retreat from the world that forces us to beat our chests. Instead, we're free to drink those beers, and scratch our balls, and fart, and be perfect just being who we are, far away from anyone that wants to change us. It's a place where we're free to play with our toys, and figure out all the answers to all of the pressing problems of the world, tackle the important issues like how to fire rockets from remote control helicopters, or...

How to get her to serve us drinks naked while we play cards....

You show me a Man without a Man Cave and I'll show you one who's depressed. And that's a fact. And for you ladies, a word of advice.... if you don't let your Man spend time in his Man Cave... he'll only retreat to the Man Cave in his mind. And then you'll never get him out.

Just like the need to always feel like Real Men, Great Men never goes away, neither does our need for our Man Cave. Its our place in the world where we're always Men! No matter what the circumstances.

In fact, since it was a book on relationships that brought all this up I'll let you ladies in a little secret, and the guys can tell me if this is wrong.... But no man is every ready for marriage until he's tired of beating his chest. And the one and only thing that tells us guys that YOU are the one... is when you let us know we don't have to... because you make us feel like Real Men.... Great Men.... just the way we are.

Of course, it always helps if you let us turn the house into the Man Cave and serve us drinks naked....

Thanks babe... I think I'll stay in tonight.... and maybe try some of that honey....

It Goes Both Ways....

It's funny to me to see the things that people choose to pick out.

And I love a good debate, especially when its off of something that I said. Sometimes I'll say something I don't believe one bit just to see how people will argue against it. So when I got an Anonymous comment last night on my piece "It Doesn't Matter" I thought it was the perfect thing to get me going this morning.

"Maybe the girl is tired of nailing the guy too.. It's a two way street bro!!" is what Anonymous had to say, which I can only figure had to be in response to my comment "show me a beautiful woman and I'll show you a guy who's tired of nailing her." Again, out of that entire piece this one line, which barely had anything to do with what was being said, is the one thing Anonymous picked out of all of it. Funny how that works out.

But maybe Anonymous is right. Maybe the girl is tired of nailing the guy too. Maybe.

Maybe she's so good in bed that no guy EVER gets tired of nailing her. That statement can go weather she's hot or looks like a dump truck. And maybe she's so bad in bed that they get tired before finishing and just leave. That could be no matter what she looks like too. Maybe. And the same goes for guys, maybe he's so bad every woman he brings home walks out before it gets started. Maybe he's so good he has a reputation for it and the ladies line up. Maybe.

Of course, Anonymous is certainly right. It definitely goes both ways.

I've had women that can't stand me continue to have sex with me because I was able to turn them on so much, even after they decided not to sleep with me again, that for days afterward they would ask over and over what it was that I did to them to turn them on so much. I've had women who were like my best friend completely cut me off after deciding I was terrible in bed, which is what led me to learn so much of what I have about how to please a woman in the first place. And I still have a lot to learn. So even with the same person it goes both ways.

I tend to get loud, go crazy, say and do outrageous over the top things and make a spectacle of myself in general when I'm out there having a good time. Some people love me for it, others hate me and can't get far enough away fast enough. Same guy, same actions, same circumstance, opposite reaction depending on who you ask. It goes both ways.

Any time you make any general statements, statements like "Show me a hot woman and I'll show you a guy who's tired of nailing her" then it is certainly bound to go both ways.

If you tried to apply anything of that sort to everyone across the board every time then of course its going to be ridiculous if it were ever meant to be taken that way. But at the same time, every single one of us out there has someone that got tired of hanging out with us. Or tired of sleeping with us. Or tired of dealing with us in some capacity or other, no matter how cool we are, how interesting, how good looking, how good in bed.... that's relationships; that's life. So the statement is still true. Even if it's only happened once, if it's only one person, it's still true.

In Social Science something only has to happen 65% of the time for it to become stereotypical behavior. That's not a lot, and it does leave open a lot of chance for that outcome not to be the case. But it's still 2/3 of the vote, a solid majority. So when people say that stereotypes aren't true, well, a large percentage of the time they're right, but the MAJORITY of the time, 2/3 of the time, the stereotype IS true. A solid majority of actually real life experience says that this is the way that it is, so it IS TRUE... most of the time. Not all of the time, but most of the time, which is why stereotypes do and always will exist.

But its also why its so important to take each person, each situation, on a case by case basis. The stereotype of a person, place or thing might serve to protect you, and are good to keep in mind for that purpose, but I've always felt and say it all the time, "You judge the man by the man."

If you consistently read my blog or know me personally then you also know that this is exactly how I am and exactly how I feel. I'll throw out how things "typically" are in a social science sense as a basis for a grounds of discussion, but also looking for how this time its different.

I don't know who Anonymous is, and its obvious when you throw things out there like "Maybe the girl is tired of nailing the guy too.. It's a two way street bro!!" that you're trying to learn me something, or prove some point, when the statement is obviously taken out of context. You're not making a profound statement. You're not proving yourself right or me wrong.

My blogs are often written from a guys point of view because I'm a guy. But almost anything in them can be taken as "going both ways" or "a two way street". I can probably find an example for you to prove both sides every single time. And I've gone to great lengths time and again to make sure its known where I stand on these things... firmly in the middle. Most of the time, unless I get too personally, emotionally involved in something, I take a scientists angle to these things. I observe and record the observations, along with the mountains of research that's always out there if you're not too lazy to find it. Then I say "This is how it is" because stereotypically, the majority of the time, that's the truth. But please, show me how I'm wrong, and please please show me how you're different.

If I live for anything, I live for the people who are different. Who in life is better than the people who prove the stereotypes wrong? Especially when you're talking about proving deeply rooted social pressured stereotypes wrong, like the smoking hotty who can have any guy she wants choosing the broke guy because she actually loves him. We write books and songs and movies about these things because they're special. And they're special because they rarely happen. They rarely happen because it's human nature to go with the crowd, which is what makes it so difficult to actually be different against the tide of the social world, and why people stand out so much when they do.

This isn't my opinion, its science.

Besides the fact that, the statement "show me a beautiful woman and I'll show you a guy who's tired of nailing her." has never once been a shot against women or anyone else at any time. What that says is that no matter how great a person appears to be on the outside, we're all just people. We all put our pants on the same way, we all have similar problems and emotions, we've all had diarrhea and nasty things coming out of us same as anyone else. No matter how hot or rich or famous or anything else a person is, they're still a person the same way you are, so treat them as one. That means not putting them on any pedestal.

I love when people throw comments out at you coming off as high and mighty when they don't even take the time to think about what's being said, where they come from, or what they actually mean. They do it just to sound good.

And finally, and this is a lesson to all people about everything you do. Anonymous comments have no credibility what so ever. They're akin to yelling out threats in the middle of a crowd but zipping the lips when its one on one. If you don't have the conviction to put your name to your words and stand behind what you claim to believe then those words carry no weight.

My name is out there on every one of my posts. I stand behind what I say. And if I'm wrong I try my best to either explain what I meant or admit that I was wrong once I realize my mistake. Its called accountability.

That being said, I'm wrong all the time. But show me how so I can make myself a better person, don't hide behind the anonymous bush hurling stones where it can't come back at you and then act like some sort of sage for it. I have to be accountable for what I say. That's the price you pay for what I do.

I know it was you Fredo!

If everyone used that same method of accounability, if everyone stood behind what they say or do and stood up and said, yeah, that was me, and had the balls to face the consequences... or just the ability to discuss things further to come to a better understanding.... the world would be a much different place then wouldn't it?

That's a two way street too..... bro!!

Coach LaSota's Formula for Success!!!

There's something strange in the air this morning, feels like it has to do with the way the rest of the day is going to fall, and I don't mean the heat pouring off the Yankee season going down in flames.

With that in mind I need to refocus my energy, which I've needed to do for some time anyway, and what better way to to that than to give you....

Coach LaSota's Formula for Success!!!

As with everything else in life, this is a work in progress, and there's much more to it, but this is a solid start...

So here we go....

Have a clear idea of what's important to you.

The biggest problem that most people have is that they don't really know what it is that they value in life. Then the things that they do, which seem like they're helping, actually pull you away from what it is that your heart really wants. For instance, if the most important thing to you is being a good father, but then you go and gamble away all of the rent money, you're not living in congruence with your values. But how can you live in line with what's important to you if you don't know what that is? Most people don't, then wonder why they're priorities are all screwed.

If you did nothing else, make a list of the 5 things that are most important to you in life and in what order. For me its:

Respect
Acting Right
Stability
Family
Love

Be Passionate about what you're doing.

Lets face it, anything that's going to work in your life is going to take a lot of doing, long hours, and getting passed road blocks. Its going to take facing tough challenges and putting your balls on the line, usually against some pretty scary odds. If you aren't passionate about whatever it is that you're trying to find find success with there's no way in hell you're going to put in those long hours or push passed those obstacles.

Believe its something worth doing and that you can do it

I've already spoken in great length about the power that even a small amount of belief can have and what can be accomplished because of it in my post "Facebook - The High School Lunch Room, and the power of BELIEF!!!". What is confidence but believing you can do something plus the faith that it will turn out the way you want it to? On the flip side to that, what is hopelessess but losing every sense of that very same thing? And there's nothing more crushing than hopelessness. You can know what you want and be passionate about doing it, but if you don't believe that you CAN do it you'll be stopped in your tracks quicker than a horse with no legs. And a horse with no legs will never be able to run now will it?

In fact, beliefs, whether right or wrong, are the table legs that hold our entire lives above the ground. You have to have this power working for you rather than against you.

Build a concrete plan to get the goal accomplished

I always like to use the analogy of the road trip to the Alamo. Remember the Alamo! Seems like a place everyone should visit, right? How can you remember something if you've never seen it? Not the point of the saying, I know, but whatever. Its a good road trip.

But there are many ways to go to get to the Alamo through this great big country we have here. You can map out a bunch of different things to hit along the way, make it a great trip, and be sure to end up at the Alamo. But what do you suppose would be the chances of getting to the Alamo if you just walked out your door and started wondering around out there? Not very good are they? Sure, you can go in a ton of directions, see and do a lot of things, but your chances of getting lost along the way are enormous.

Yet most of us live our lives like this. We go out there without a map, stumble around for a while and expect we're going to smack right into the Alamo, and how? By sheer luck? Then we get upset or confused when we end up in Cleveland with no money to get back home. At that point you're stuck there.

Do you want to be stuck in a place in life where you never intended to be without knowing how you got there or how to get out? Most of us are. Having a plan prevents this from happening. Or can get you back on the road when you make a wrong turn.

Have the energy to ACT, the mental energy to think clearly, and the positive energy to attract positive results

This is probably the single most important thing on this list, yet amazingly, its the one that's most neglected, and the very first thing that's sacrificed in the name of everything else in life. Let's face it, every single other item here takes a certain amount of energy to do. And if you feel like crap, you're not going to do ANY of it. Hell, even if you could do it anyway, you're not going to feel like it, so it's not going to get done. Or if it does, it'll be a half assed job.

This requires getting enough sleep. Eating right, exercise, and maybe most important, relaxing and spending time with friends and doing things that are fun. What good is any amount of success if you're too busy to feel good. And if you feel good, that's what its all about baby, you're already a success. Feeling good is the name of the game. I've got a good personal trainer if you need help with this here.

Always communicate perfectly what you want and what you're willing and able to do to get it with everyone, ESPECIALLY yourself

Its important that people know where you're coming from and what you want. How many of life's conflicts are over something simple, but come because we just aren't clear on how the other person see's things. The messed up thing about this is that the person we offend the most here is ourselves. You might not realize it, but you're talking to yourself literally every moment of every day, even while you sleep.

When you do this you're actually programming your subconscious mind, and your subconscious is a powerful Jedi, it's the engine that makes everything go. Yet ever single time you tell yourself you can't do something, it rattles around back there until you begin to believe it. Every time you tell yourself you want something that pulls you away from your values, it creates a jumbled mess in your mind that clouds your vision of what's important. As the saying goes, you can lie to me all you want but you can't lie to yourself. Its a sure way to an unhappy life. Except that most of us are pulling the wool over our own eyes without even realizing it.

Just as with the Alamo, if you're not clear on exactly what you want, how is anyone (including yourself) ever going to be able to give it to you?

Build strong connections and relationships with others to help carry you through. Especially with people that make life enjoyable. You're only as good as your support system.

Anthony Robbins always says the quality of your communication is the quality of your life. And according to Dale Carnegie, 85% of success comes from how you communicate with others. It truly is who you know, not what you know, and that goes for the people in every aspect of your life. Sometimes it's the person that gets your foot in the door, gets you that business meeting or job interview. Sometimes its the people that pick you up when you're down or believe in you so much it makes you believe in yourself. At others it people that spread the word for your cause.

I go into this in full detail in the post "The KEY TO SUCCESS IS RIGHT IN HERE.... if you read it... "

Even if you're not ready to take all these steps at once, be sure to take care of that very first one. If you know what's most important to you in life, and have your own 10 commandment, your Knights Code to live by, and you always stick to those guns, then you're ahead of the game already.

Everyone has their Hustle....

I couldn't stand being in the house anymore, so I went out to the little coffee shop a few blocks away just to get out of there, maybe get something down, and wound up walking in on some ladies gawdy jewelry night. It's amazing; everyone has their hustle, huh?

Luckily Duke was in there, another guy like me who pops in from time to time to get some work done. He's a pretty good guy, something out of a Kerouac book, or another similar type thing. Duke was telling me about house concerts, which he's looking to get into, where musicians travel around playing private shows inside strangers' living rooms. The musician gets a meal and a bed and whatever the guests that night decide to donate, and then its on to the next gig. Sounds like something out of another time, another age.

It's always interesting to hear that stuff like that still goes on. But then, everyone has their hustle, don't they?

In a few months time Duke will be on the road doing his thing and I'll mostly forget ever knowing him; such is life. That being said, I can still see a little red-headed mulatto girl that I had spent a few hours talking to on the greyhound between St. Louis, MO and Philadelphia, PA, oh, 15 years ago now. They move in and drift out, fill time, space and gaps for just a while and then they're gone. And that goes for all of them, no matter the time or space they fill, or however long the while.

It's both the saddest and most beautiful thing about life. I can never help, when I see someone interesting, but to watch and wonder what their story is. I can never help, when I'm caught by random memories of random folk, but to wonder where life has taken them. I guess that's why I write.

I still can't decide which was worse, the looks I was getting from the fifty something's in there like they wanted to show me a thing or two out of their bag of tricks, or the wares they were trying to peddle. Don't get me wrong, I love older women. Just not these ones. Then again, I just got separate emails for NaughtyDating, SaucyDating, JuicyDating and FlirtyDating, so I guess there's something for everyone out there, and you can't blame them for looking can you? It's the lip licking that got me. There are also black singles in my area, and my Russian mail order bride is waiting. When it comes to the ladies... everyone has their hustle.

Speaking of doing their hustle with the ladies, who's better than Rudy Ray Moore star of Dolemite! ?

And why don't you ever see Irish mail order brides?

And when you get a wife mailed to you, how are they shipped? Do they come like this?

Talking about hustling people and looking for things to post about it got me to thinking about an under rated movie that I love, Kung Fu Hustle. Its possible that it just catches me the right away, and its something only I'd be into, but if you're into campy kung fu type action comedies you should rent it.

Even Paul Newman had his hustle down. Ever see the classic The Hustler with Newman and Ralph Cram... er, Jackie Gleeson?

That's such a great movie that they had to make a sequel to it twenty five years later and throw Tom Cruise into the mix with Martin Scorsese directing it. The Color of Money is probably one of the best under the radar fliks with megastars that you'll ever see. But then, isn't that the point of a good hustle, to come under the radar, and by the time you notice you've been had it's already too late?

Look at that. Even Abraham Lincoln, good ole Honest Abe had his hustle down.

One thing that's clear to me, especially now after writing this, is that I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about here. I'm telling you how everyone has their hustle, but talking about movies and where I find my women; nothing about hustling, how to do it, or pointing out examples at all.

What a horror! I guess its obvious that I have no hustle at all. No wonder I haven't been making any money on this. Go around the rest of this site and click the ads for me, I need all the help I can get. Geez, I should probably just give this whole thing up, and maybe I will.... none of this even makes any sense today....

Everyone has their hustle but me!

Live the Scam. Work the Sham!

And click the ads!

Go Yanks!

Steve Jobs, Men's Jobs, working men.... The Jobs Edition!

I wasn't going to post anything today, but with the passing of Steve Jobs and the hero worship that ensued I had to put my 2 cents in.

Everyone loves Steve Jobs, brilliant innovator, billionaire, changed the world.... denied his illegitimate daughter for years and made her live off of welfare while he made millions..... A Great Man.... A Real Man.....

You can't deny the impact that Jobs had, but what kind of a person puts their kids through that? Especially when they have more than the means to do otherwise. And are we really better off as a people because we can get on facebook and download movies from our phone, yet kids rarely play outside anymore and people don't even know their neighbors?

Is it our great accomplishments, or the money we make that shows our worth, or is it the character that we display? And everyone has the skeletons in their closet, we all make mistakes.... but claiming to be infertile in court so that you can continue to be a dead beat dad is pure scum. Yet everyone loves Steve Jobs.

It brings me right back to an article my buddy shared with me recently written by William J. Bennet titled Why Men are in Trouble about how it really is becoming a woman's world.

You have to read the article, please, because there are some very disturbing trends and statistics that it shows off here, which I won't rehash so you'll need to check it out, but none more disturbing than the claim from women "WHERE HAVE ALL THE REAL MEN GONE?"

It's a good topic, but its also a skewed perspective, and I'm the perfect example of that.

I enjoy video games, but don't play them often. I work my ass off in a lot of different areas, yet no matter what I do I can't catch a break. So I'm broke with a job I hate and live with my mother.

There are no jobs out there for men, and the few that are you either have to fight an entire city for just a few slots like the city jobs, and those very often go to minorities, and minority women at that, or you have to fight against illegal aliens who will do the job for half the pay without regard for safety.

And then, again with a guy like me, in high school my father wasn't around and I took care of the kids while my mother worked 3 jobs, so I never had a childhood to learn who I am. Then I moved out at 16 because my mother couldn't afford a place big enough, got kicked out of college because it was the first chance I had to be a kid, and have struggled between one dead end job after another ever since with the door slamming closed on me at every single turn.

I moved to Vegas with my girl for a chance at a better life and you know what happened there. So I came home to finish getting my degree, but now that I have it I can't get a job with that college degree, and can't get a job making enough to pay the bills. Companies now even use the poor economy as an excuse to slash salaries and take advantage of people... "You know, in this economy...." but the cost of living or rent isn't going down at all.

But if you ask a woman, I'm not a real man. The real man is the guy who's had everything given to him, so now at my same age he owns a house and his own business. Or a real man is the guy on the police or fire department that I scored 20 points higher than on the tests and am in better shape, but he got the job and I didn't. So he makes 100G a year now doing nothing.

You'd be amazed at how being a "real" man has to do with the money you bring home, the vacations you go on, the partying you do, but not anything to do with the quality of human being you are.

We live in a society where recording artists beat the hell out of their women, athletes rape girls in bathrooms, get drunk and run down and kill average people in their cars, Presidents kill their own people to go to war, and billionaires deny their children forcing them to live off of welfare... but these are "REAL MEN"

But the guy who breaks his ass working 2 jobs just to pay the bills, trying to do it the right way, but doesn't get the opportunities we all need is a loser.

The problem is exactly articles like this, because its exactly how people think. They never look at the root cause of a thing, only where it is in the here and now.

And then it's "oh, yes, you're right, people should look at you differently.", but it's always left for someone else to do it.

I've written two books that have been published, have a college degree, have taught children how to read, been a mentor through coaching football, and sacrificed much of my life for my family.... yet I'm not a man to most people....

And there are many, MANY men out there like me in similar situations.

It doesn't matter how smart you are, or how cool, or how good you are at the things you do, or how good those things are. The cast of Jersey Shore is rich and famous and I'm a fuckin bum and a loser that lives with his mother.

Its a nice sentiment to think "its not if you won or lost but how you play the game" except its one of the oldest lies there is. Socially all that matters to people are results. And no matter how much or how hard or how good you work, without results you're shit. If you can't make THEIR lives better, you're shit.

Most people that read this will deny the truth of these words because that requires taking a good hard look at yourself and how you look at other people and why. But many of our problems in society are a direct result of how we treat each other, and how we respect each other, and our reasons for it. Until we change what we honor and respect we're going to continue going down the toilet.

I'm howling at the moon in my clown suit again, I know. But it had to be said.

"Hooray for Firemen, sons of bitches that they are every day of their lives, run into a fire and you're a hero." - Kurt Vonnegut.

And God love Steve Jobs.

But what the hell do I know. I don't contribute much to society.

Are you a Hypocrite? Probably. "Look at me? I'm jumping on the bandwagon" and Real Steel review...

I don't get it, I thought it was the perfect idea, but very few people bought into it.

I suggested that, in honor of Steve Jobs greatness, any guy that gets his girlfriend pregnant this week doesn't have to take care of the kid. And if anything is said to bring down that guy's image all he has to do is shrug his shoulders and say, "Hey, sorry, everybody makes mistakes" and all will be forgiven.

Look, I have nothing against Steve Jobs, he was a man, both great and fallible as any other. The issue that I have was with all of the hero worship, all the "inspirational" quotes, and the public praising of someone that 2 days before his death, most people doing the praising probably didn't even know who he was.

Two days later, Al Davis, owner of the Oakland Raiders and NFL pioneer passed and you barely heard word one about it. Yet Davis had just as much impact on our society as Steve Jobs.

Since you don't know, Al Davis hired the first Black Head Coach in NFL history, the first Latino Head coach in NFL history, and the first woman CEO in sports. Oh, and he's the guy directly responsible for forcing a little shindig we call the Superbowl!

That's right people, without Al Davis the Superbowl, which has become such a huge event that major advertisers base their entire years ad campaigns around it (everything you buy or are brainwashed with centers around this day) and most people believe should be declared a national holiday at this point, wouldn't exist. No Al Davis, No Superbowl. That means no NFL as we know it. How's that for major impact on society? If you don't think that affects you as much as your computer you really don't know how it all works, and you're simply kidding yourself.

But there was no love for Al Davis. Why is that?

If you went crazy with all of the Steve Jobs nut riding, if you posted quotes left and right about how great and inspirational he was, but didn't throw out even one "Just Win Baby" in honor of Davis, you're a hypocrite.

If you rail against father's that don't take care of their kids, but then praise Steve Jobs, you're a hypocrite. In fact, if you ever complain about how anyone else has wronged you... ever.... but throw Steve Jobs quotes up there or an everyone make's mistakes... you're a hypocrite.

You can't have it both ways. But just as I said in the last article "The Jobs Edition", its not about how inspirational the person is, its not about the greatness of their character, it's about results. That's what people are praising, which only makes Davis' "Just Win, Baby" mantra all the more fitting.

And let's face it, the people doing all the public praising of our celebrities... for most of them it has nothing at all to do with the hero worship or the great things these people did either. It has EVERYTHING to do with screaming "HEY, LOOK AT ME!!!". "I just posted the same quote 85 other people posted, I'm just as inspirational". "Hey, Look At me! I'm part of the club too! I can slobber all over this guys nuts so that you'll slobber all over mine!" "Tell me how great I am for putting this up... PLLEEEAAASSSEEE!!!"

More "Look at Me". That's all this ever is.

Well, I'm not part of the club, thanks. That's not a club I want any part of, though sadly, most of our society is. That's the herded sheep part of the world we live in, because most people are a bunch of followers not only willing, but wanting to stick their head in the sand and avoid things as they really are because to do so, to speak out against it puts you outside of the social set. So we sell our souls to jump on the bandwagon, that way everyone will accept us, or at least pretend to. But it's ok if they only pretend to, what they're accepting isn't really us, but who or what we're pretending to be anyway.

Let's all pretend, like we live in Mr. Rogers neighborhood. Perception is the important thing, right? Not truth.

I'll continue to say it as it's now become my mission to point this out and change how people look at things, that how we treat each other and why, who we respect and why, is directly responsible for all of the problems that we now face, including the economy.

Watch this clip, it's not haha funny George Carlin, it's old, cranky just about to kick and pissed at the world Carlin... but he's exactly right and if you don't think so, then you're part of the problem...

Speaking of father's that don't take care of their kids, I checked out the movie Real Steel the other night. The advertising has had me wanting to see it for months now, afterall, what's not to like about Rocky with robots? It's about a former boxing dead beat dad that redeems himself, so it perfectly fit the theme for my weekend.

I was a bit nervous when I saw all the kids pile into the theatre, the crowd can make or break a movie and with kids you never know which you're going to get. And while it may have been a family film, it certainly wasn't a kid's movie.

The story takes some time to get into and its definitely predictable. There also wasn't enough of the robot fighting, though those scenes were pretty cool. But when the big arena scenes hit, and all the kids in the crowd began clapping in unison with the crowd on the screen, you couldn't help to be sucked in. This time the theatre crowd actually made the movie, and by the end there was nothing not to like.

Olga Fonda is in Real Steel

If you have kids you should take them to see Real Steel. If you're a kid at heart you should go check it out. Otherwise wait for video, where if nothing else you'll be entertained for two hours by a solid formula flik.

I didn't want to get into this heavy business today, had a great weekend and preferred that be what I rambled about, but it was important that you know. If I made you angry it's because I touched a chord, hit you in the moral center. You're mad because I'm right. And if you agree... help me get people seeing things the right way again.

JUST WIN BABY!!!

The Good Things in Life and Keeping Your Head When the Wheels Fall Off....

The other day I was having one of those mornings where the wheels fall off before you even get going. I hadn't slept all night, everytime I was about to doze off one of the dogs went nuts, and this kept happening. So I was exhausted already at the start of what was going to be a long day.

She knows what I'm talking about. Then for various reasons, several important players on my Sunday morning Softball team told me at the last minute possible that they weren't going to be there. One of them had some of the equipment I needed, so we were short handed without supplies for games we HAD to win against a 6-0 team no less. And I had to deal with it.... SCREWED.

Upon getting to the field, the wife of one of the guys that did show made a joke that we might lose him too if her water broke. At least I thought it was a joke. Her water broke in the 2nd inning or so. Then, whether it was the lack of sleep, my anxiety, allergies, or all of the above, my entire world started to spin and I was so nautious that I had to take myself out. The whole morning was a complete disaster, and the day was just starting....

Except we managed to win both games. Not only did we win, but there was only one point where we were in danger of losing.

Later that day I had a wedding to go to for another of the guys on the team, but by the time I got home from the games I was completely shot, and sitting down to watch some football made it really difficult to get things back in gear again. Beyond that, formal activities where you have to don the suit and tie aren't my bag; I think I'd do very well if I could spent the rest of my life in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. Weddings are awkward for me, and I only knew three or four people that would be there, so there was every chance that this could be a total trainwreck.....

But my buddy invited me, went to the expense of paying for my plate, and probably a whole lot more just to be allowed to have me there; I'm not exactly the one people readily admit to their family and loved ones they even know, much less want to have around for special events. I couldn't let him down, so I sucked it up, dealt with my crap, and got my ass to the church... er, Temple, on time.

I ended up having a great time!

Somewhere during the middle of the ceremonies I received a text from my buddy who's wife's water broke at the field. His new son was born and everything was looking good. It turned out to be a GREAT day, one of the best I've had in a while. So it just goes to show that, even when things look their worst, it can all turn out so much better than you expected, even special, if you just take a breath, relax and take it easy, and let it all play out in front of you.

"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you; Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, and which is more; you'll be a Man, my son!" - Rudyard Kipling.

Of course, that's paraphrased from the classic poem IF, you should read the entire poem though, so click the link. If you're confused by the pic, Kipling wrote The Junglebook.

While I sat at my buddies wedding, I couldn't help but remember the first time I saw him, I can remember it clear as day and it'll probably be etched in my mind forever. He looked like Topper Harley from Hot Shots, and the name stuck, we've been calling him that ever since. I haven't known him for long, but he's one of the most genuine people I've ever come across, you can see how he feels plain as day written all over his face, and he always seems to surprise you with what he knows or how good he is at something. Its people like Topper that make life worthwhile, and here I was sharing the most important day of his life. He even took the time to yell at me for not taking care of myself better.

It got me to thinking, whether its a wedding or anything else, even just a random party for no reason, we should take the time to celebrate each other more than we do. What else really is there in life?

The wedding showed me one other important thing too, this about myself. I've spent so much time holding on for so long just so that the wheels don't fall off, like I started this piece with, holding on so that I don't make a total ass of myself, which I'm very good at, that I've lost the ability to let go and just be. I'm probably terrified that I don't know what's going to happen, what will come out if I do. People think I'm crazy already, and this is me restrained. What would you see, and what would people think, if that manimal got out of its cage?

Trouble is... that's where all the good stuff is. That's where you're really living life, and what good is life if you're not living it. For too long I haven't been, and now I've forgotten how. There's an entire different level that I can take my game to, but I'll never be able to get there until I'm able to unleash the beast. And I can't help but wonder how many of you are in a similar way.

At least I know now what I'm looking for. If I ever end up getting hitched like my buddy there, its going to be to the person that helps me open the cage. She has to be able to get me to dance. Not just get me to do it, but get me to want to do it. And it strikes me that a lot of people are unhappy because of this very thing... when we all should surround ourselves with nothing but the people and things that break us out of our cages, we instead chase after and get caught by the ones who would put us in it. And that's just no way to live. Who wants to live in a cage?

And as if the stars were in alignment, this morning I saw this....

I think the Dalai Lama said it best... so I'll leave it there for today...

CLICK HERE FOR PART 2

Where Peacocks Dare! 2011 Full Reboot! Part 2

2012-01-03T23:07:00.003-05:00

God... you're a funny bastard God....

I'm sure I'll get a lot of hate mail for that title, cursed as a blasphemer and lose some fans over it, probably by the same people that swear I'll go to hell for eating meat on Fridays yet hide and protect kid touchers the world over... but whatever, it feels like a weird morning already, so we might as well pile it on.

Besides, anyone that knows me will also know that despite the fact that I don't believe in organized religion of any kind, I am in fact extremely spiritual, so to get out of sorts over that statement is to completely misinterpret its meaning, which people do every second of every day. God IS a funny bastard, and the joke is on all of us, but today I mean that in every good way possible.

I've already mentioned in my post "A Deeply Personal Note..." (which many of you loved) that everyone of us must be able to express ourselves and feel like we matter to the world around us in order to feel well adjusted and good about who we are. And in my piece "A Real Man... A Great Man... and the Man Cave" I talked about how we all need to feel as if we are accepted for who we are right here, right now, exactly the way we are without having to do more or be more. (Though it was slanted for men, the same applies for women as well)

At the time that I wrote each of those pieces I was feeling really good, but in the days and weeks in between I found that I'd lost all of those feel good moments and fell into a deep down cycle, and this one was BAD, the worst I'd had since I was 19 years old and lost 35 pounds in a matter of three weeks. I know Ed Burns makes fun of the down cycle in his flik "She's the One", one of my favorite movies (I'm a big Ed Burns fan), but they really do exist for all of us.

According to Dr. John Gray, men and women alike go through a cycle where they go from feeling really good about themselves to feeling really bad and need new affirmations that they matter to the world around them and are accepted and great just the way they are right now every 28 days or so. (Amazingly like the menstrual cycle) So not only does the down cycle exist, but its normal for every one of us to go through it. Its just that some of us feel it more than others depending on where we are in life, how we've been taught or are equiped to deal with things, and our brain chemistry.

So what the hell does this have to do with God? Well, as I said, I was caught up in the worst downcycle I can remember in the past 15 years, which is saying a lot considering some of the things that have happened in that time. And just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, sure enough, one after another, I was put in position after position and given example after example to show me just how great I am right here, right now, just being who I am. And I was able to see, through the eyes of people around me, how much I do matter.

As always, I use experiences in my own life to try to get you thinking of similar experiences in yours. Isn't it amazing how something always seems to happen, as if it came out of nowhere, to bring us exactly what we need exactly when we need it? And it seems to happen every single time. We've all had this happen to us in our lives, the Rolling Stones wrote a song about it.

So last night as I drove home from dinner at a friends house, I couldn't help but reflect on all the of the things over the past couple of days that showed me just how much a part of other peoples lives that I am, and how much of a difference I really do make in those lives. Last night's dinner was one more way of showing it to me. And it all came just as I thought I had nothing left in the tank. It made me smile. And I couldn't help but blurt out as I got onto the highway....

God... you're a funny bastard God....

And here's another thing that proves the point of all I had to say today... my buddy who I had that dinner with last night... this guy is great and he doesn't even know it. He can't see it for himself. And I'd bet that I can say the exact same thing about YOU reading this right now. Its up to all of us to show each other how great we are, and how great we can be. Those of us that have people who do that in our lives don't need God, or the Tao, or the Force or the Universe, whatever you want to call it, to step in as much and do it for us. But it will if we need it to. It just waits till the last minute when we need it most. Its our job to make sure we get to people before they need it that much.

You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find... you get what you need.

And for those of you keeping score... we all need to feel like we're accepted for who we are right here, right now, and thats good enough without having to do or be more, and we need to express who that person in the right here right now is, and know that who we are and what we do matters to the people around us. But no matter who we are or where we are in life, every 28 days or so we're going to go from feeling great to feeling like crap, so it's important to surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are, allow you to express yourself, and show you how much you matter to them. Likewise, its just as important that you accept the people around you for who they are, allow them to express themselves, and show them that THEY matter to YOU..... its a running tally....

How much better would we all feel if we all did that? Life would be one giant lovefest... YEEAAAHHHH!!!!

The BIG 5-o!

Sometimes you walk into a much needed special surprise, serendipity they call it. I walked into an open mic night and was greeted by an angelic voice. MAN can this girl sing. I'm going to have to find out who she is.

Today I bring you the 50th installment of our little project here. It doesn't seem like that many, or that I've been doing it for as long as I have now. I want to thank you for hanging with me and hope I've given you enough reason to continue to do so.

Strange things come up when

you google seach 50

I'm gearing up for the New York City Comicon and as things tend to go, the wheels are falling off of that for me already. Must be the theme for the week. I'm going to have to take my own advice and learn a lesson from my own lesson and chill out, take it as it goes.

And I've got to apologize, I'm distracted right now. Whoever this girl is her singing is resonating with my heartstrings and pulling me away from the page. If big things don't happen for her there's a hole in the universe.

.50 cal

It takes some real brass balls to get out there and play in front of people before you have a steady following. I mean, I bear my soul for whoever wants to read it, but its different. I'm still protected behind a glass screen shield and however many countless miles stretch between where I now sit and wherever you find yourself at this moment. Standing in front of everyone with nothing between you is really putting your nuts on the slab. The wrong reaction from the crowd has got to be like a knife to the heart. I give the people that do it all the credit in the world.

I must look like I'm completely insane most of the time when I write. While I'm lost in thought I often stare off into the distance, unconscious of the fact that I'm even doing it. Its occurred to me that there are times when my gaze falls on another person sitting close by. I wonder what goes through their head when it happens.
"Who is this stalker and why is he licking his lips at me?" That's the cleaned up version of course.

I haven't invested in any 5 gallon drums, I promise. You would think people would stop using them by now, they're just so unoriginal. And they always seem to get you caught.

What the hell are they doing with so many of them lying around anyway? Are they saving the pieces for later? Maybe there's good money in it. That's the tasty meat in your sandwich. I'll have the special please, rare, thanks!

Open mic night, a guy singing about needing an angel.... I hear ya buddy.

Raquel Welch, So hot!

She's not 50 here, but was

still how when she was

Hey, check out this little piece of animation, its really cool. Make sure to watch the whole thing.

And if that doesn't do it for you, maybe try out this awesome game. Just be careful playing it at work, you can lose an hour to it without even noticing it.

Not for nothing, but the people playing this open mic are really freakin (clean) good. I'm at Sip This, as I often am. If you've got nothing better to do stop by and say hello sometime. The freak staring at you is probably me, though I can't guarantee it.

Ingrid Michaelson

The girls name is Kira Metcalf by the way, and apparently she's only 16 years old. That just amazes the hell out of me, she reminds me of Ingrid Michaelson. You should check her out on facebook at Kirasingsforkicks. A lot of what I do here is all about everyone else if I really enjoy what they do, because if I like it I think you will too. Though I have to admit.... looking up 16 year old girls on facebook feels all kinds of wrong, no matter what the reason is.

This is my favorite Ingrid Michaelson pic

Reminds of a girl I used to know

and look at those eyes

Change of venue, change of thought. Its needed about now. Let's pick this up in a different locale and see how it goes.

I just got a high five from a mentally handicapped guy. I know some people that would have punched him dead in the face for approaching them that way. Tells you about some of the people I know.

He's a Ra Tard

Not you Fat Jesus.

And how awesome is this next shot, Peyton Manning knuckle deep in his nostrils. He's digging for another Superbowl ring from the looks of it, cause it won't be happening on the field this year.

I'm taking the Colts in a Pick Em'!

You know, before you can start stuffing people in 55 gallon drums you have to know how to prepare the body. This next guy seems to be banging his way through the process, making a mess of things. But practice makes perfect, right?

Speaking of the Big 5-o.... damn... Barbie got OLD! She's looking like something out of a George Romero flik these days.

Alright, I can't stick with that as a way to go out here, so I'm going to go with something that's a little more me....

There we go. But enough of this screwing around. I've got to get some work done, and this just turned into a mess.

Tomorrow starts Comicon so I won't be around, but tune in next week for my report on that debacle. And in the meantime, and while I'm on the subject, check out the cast of the upcoming Man of Steel, it could be EPIC! And if you haven't seen the new Avengers trailer yet, watch it right here. Looks Sick!

2011 NYC Comicon - Doing it Right

I stopped dead in my tracks at the end of the aisle, my head turning back towards the direction that I'd come. After completing one full lap of the Javits Center the 2011 New York City Comicon had degenerated into looking for random things to take pictures of. There was nothing there that made me stop and say to myself "Whoa! THAT I have to see!"

And then something caught my eye, or rather, someONE. I walked passed, but that vibe stopped me, something I hadn't felt since....

I shook it off, or at least tried to, but we all have those things that catch us in a certain way, the right way. After two more steps toward where The Man had wandered ahead I knew that I had to go back. I've been to a lot of conventions, met a lot of people, but I'd only gone back for a picture with a person one other time. So this meant something.

She was nice, and let me take a shot of her despite the fact that I had asked in an inaudible mumble. That's how I remember it now anyway. Looking at her, I was gone, unable to form a coherent thought. And when I saw how she looked in the photo I melted. I tried showing it to her in the camera, I needed her to see, but again with the mumbling. All I can recall was some head shaking and gorilla noises that caught in my throat while she handed me a card. And that was that, The Man pulled me into another conversation.

It wasn't enough. I can say every way I feel and express any thought or emotion that fills me with a pen and piece of paper with perfect clarity and without trepidation, but talk to a woman who catches me that way and it all goes to hell. There wasn't much of a decision. When you notice something special in a person they should know it, so I printed the picture, in all the ways that it touched me, and I decided to make sure she saw what I saw in her.

Getting ready to go to the event the next morning I finally looked at the card she'd placed in my hand for the first time. I had no idea who she was working for, what she was selling; I could have been walking around with pamphlets for gay porn hanging out of my back pocket and I never would have known it.

When I saw that it was for instigatorzine, a bi-monthly magazine that gives new writers and artists an outlet for exposure I was amazed. As you know, that was the very same angle behind The Mad Doser Presents. My second book, A Loaded Portrait, was put together to test the eBook format for that very thing.

The card also, smartly, had the booth number where I could find them again printed on it. It was something that I hadn't seen anywhere else during the entire show. There's no way I ever would have found them again without it.

When I happened along later that day she wasn't there, so I talked to the person who was, Keith Chiappone, Co-founder and Editor-in-chief of instigatorzine. Being that this was a racket that I had heavy interest in myself there was a lot to talk about, and Keith couldn't have been better explaining the history of instigatorzine, displaying their products, and what they were about.

Keith Chiappone

What caught my attention most wasn't even the fact that they pair artists with each literary entry (the art directly corresponds to the theme of a written piece). It wasn't that they cover all genres. What struck me is that here is a company that's doing everything the right way.

I know that I can write, but like many people out there I have the hardest time getting anyone to take notice, at least not on a scale that allows for doing it professionally. The entire purpose for doing shows like Comicon is to be seen on a mass scale. Vendors spend thousands of dollars securing booths at the show, bring in all their wares, but then stop short of hiring a model to put butts in the seats. They end up being one more boring table easily passed by.

Of course, getting noticed is only part of it. Once people are paying attention its up to you to keep it. Which means having a quality product worth buying into and a man (or woman) behind the plan with the passion, knowledge and engaging personality to get them into it just as much as you are.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen people do one while totally disregarding the other. They all end up the same way, not standing out from the rest, and the 2011 New York City Comicon was full of them.

This image is different than the 1st set of eyes, if you look closely

As I explained to Keith, I never would have noticed them if it wasn't for the girl I needed to have a picture of. She got me hooked. Then they did what they had to in order to make sure you knew exactly where to find them again. Once I got there I got a table full of a variety of their work, stuff that was different than what anyone else had (which is what I look for) displayed before me with that engaging and knowledgeable young man drawing me into their world.

And I have to say, I'm in. For three days now I've been thinking about writing a new story just to submit to their magazine. And I'll be subscribing here just as soon as I'm done writing this piece. I believe in what they're doing because I've been there myself, and because of how well they do it, and you'll be in too. So please, check them out.

Later on in the day I was finally able to hand the young woman the photos. I don't know if she ever looked at them or not, but it doesn't matter. They were for her if she wanted to see something I saw as beautiful, and that was the only point, just as I try to do for you here every day.

I had asked about her, whether she worked for them or not, if she were someone that they hired for the show, wanting to learn as much as I could about how they do their thing for when I'm ready to do the same. As it turns out, she's Jenna Kildosher, the Senior Literature Editor for instigatorzine. So she's as smart as she is beautiful and personally invested in what they're doing. That's the trifecta right there, the magic formula. I'm always telling you how you're only as good as your support system, and what I was told is that a lot of the staff there knew each other from college, and as they go they continue to bring in more people that fit in with their vision and where they want to go, ever expanding that support system. One more thing that they're doing right.

Because of these things, I have no doubt that they're going to succeed in whatever they do.

Jenna Kildosher and I at the instigatorzine booth at Comicon

As for Jenna and what I saw.... maybe you see it too, and maybe you don't..... I'm constantly speaking about and posting pictures of a certain ideal of whats hot... but that's not necessarily MY ideal of whats hot. I've always looked for something different, a spark, the sort of vibe that stops me dead in my tracks. It's something in the eyes, something about soul.... lightning...

That's my ideal. Jenna's a 10.

Tomorrow I'll be telling you a little story about just how far personality goes. I just hope you were getting what I was trying to show you today.

2011 NYC Comicon - Is she Jerking off Jack in the Box?

There's a certain little red head who was really cool that I promised to have a couple of good pics up for in today's piece, but I didn't have time to write what I'd wanted to and do it justice, so that's going to have to wait to tomorrow. Hopefully she tunes into that bat channel to get the shots.

In the meantime though, today's edition is going to be just a little bit of fun, for me at least.

Is she jerking off the Jack in the Box guy? Look at that picture, it definitely looks like that's what's going on. And if you had seen this woman in real life its a possibility. As The Man had said when I snapped this shot, she has porn star looks. The photo really doesn't capture her sexy, and that's what leads me to what I'm going to talk about today.

For as long as I can remember Comic books and the entire world that accompanies it was looked down upon as if it was something just for geeks and nerds. I remember as a kid, even well into high school, that once you busted one out (wait, what? Busted one out....) or began a conversation about it you were destined for the inside of a locker.

This isn't the red head I was talking about, but she'll also be making an appearance in that very same piece, and look how naughty she is.

I was never stuffed in a locker (we didn't have any), and though I was small enough to fit into one back then, I would have punched just about anyone in the face sooner than look at them at the time, so it never would have happened anyway. But that doesn't mean that I didn't get the label. Not that I exactly helped myself in other areas either.

What she was selling, I don't know. But does it matter?

Back then, COMICS = GEEK!

And maybe it still does, I don't know. What I DO know from the thousands upon thousands of people strutting around Comicon this passed weekend is that even if that's the case there are so many of us out there now that we're as free to be who we are as a gay couple in Chelsea.

Another thing that I know is that us geeks love the ladies. While I was really disappointed this year, as opposed to years passed, with what I saw in terms of both the models and costumes of the paying customers, there was still plenty to be gawking at.

She was working for Daz Studios. If you've ever used PoserPro, its a sick program that lets you make movies with digital characters in almost any way you can imagine, then you know Daz because they make a lot of the packages that you use in PoserPro.

Well, they decided to go with their own program now, cutting Poser out of the process. I own PoserPro but I'm pretty much retarded when it comes to learning software (or anything else for that matter), so I never did get anything going with it. Now I want to try the Daz Studios version.

Of course, I wouldn't know about any of that if it wasn't for the gypsy girl here. She's actually one of the models for their packages, so you can buy and download her if you want to take her home with you. Just like in my edition 2011 Comicon - Doing It Right, here's a beautiful woman who's personally invested.

I have to say too, she wasn't all too thrilled while she was working the booth, but MAN could she turn on that fake smile and look like she really meant it when she had to. I've known some of the ladies that do this work for sometime now, had this conversation with them about how they have to do that, and I can tell you this, she's a seasoned pro.

WHOA! There's nothing Nerdy or Geeky about this now, is there? Those bad boys are making me hungry!

These were just two of the thousands in attendance, hot as hell. They were nice enough to stop and let people take pictures of them for a while, and really, why else would you go through all the trouble of dressing up only to be a bitch about it?

Well, I don't know, but you have to ask the little bunny here. She wouldn't tell you if you asked. I was going to hold this pic back for a piece I'll be doing a few days from now on how NOT to do it right, but she still looks pretty good, and she was so nice I don't mind completely objectifying her here. Little bunny... I'll see you next Tuesday!

GET DOWN AND GIVE ME.....

huh huh, huh huh... yeah... give me..... How awesome is this print? By the time I saw this bad boy at the end of the show I was already broke, and I don't have wall space left for this sort of thing anyway, but I was tempted to rearrange the furniture to get that up there. And if you don't think women like the one in the drawing exist in real life.....

Think again! At Comicon they have all kinds of women, any that you can possibly think of. Actually, I took this shot because of the poster in the back. That's Catwoman with the face of Audrey Hepburn. Adam Hughes has to be my favorite artist, specifically because of this. As you all know, I'm completely in love with a woman who's been dead almost twenty years now.... but I'm not alone. And that's a major part of what's so great about these comic events... no matter what kind of a freak you may think you are or what makes you think so, you're going to find someone else thinking the same way. Here you're part of the club. That freak is celebrated... you're even great for it!

Of course, as things always tend to go, Adam Hughes wasn't around any of the times that I passed. My only real reason for posting a second of these pictures is because I know my buddy Walt will be all over that blond. He's probably licking the screen right now. Nice necklace honey... talk about porn star hot... lost in all of this is that the little patriot next to her is pretty sweet too.

There's really no reason for me to have this up. None. Once again though, the picture doesn't do her justice. They rarely do though, do they? Unless of course its staged to be perfect.

Me, I don't stage anything to be perfect, because I'm not perfect, and neither is life. But no matter who you are, once a year or so, no matter what it is that you're into, Comicon gives all of us a chance to be perfect even if its just for a little while.... and you have to dress up like a cartoon character to do it.

Now I lost my train of thought. Where was I? Did I even have a point today? I'm not sure if I did, so tell me what you took from it cause I've got nothing. Better things on the horizon....

2011 Comicon - Personality.... it goes a long way....

"You have to get on your knees" she said, "I want you to beg!"

I looked at the area around me, the red carpet sprawling beneath my feet, it was as if the room had cleared just for this occasion. "On my knees, huh?" I replied with a smile. "Ok, if that's what you're into."

How was it that I got here again? Oh yeah, now I remember.... it was Friday, my head was wrapped up in other things and The Man was getting into it with someone, busting her chops as he does. She was giving it right back. Impressive. Any chick that can handle his shtick and keep it going was worth talking to. He'd tell you the same.

"Because you like him" I heard him telling her when he pulled me into the conversation and away from where my mind was. He looked dead at me, gesturing with his hands, "I know he likes you."

I looked at her, who was staring at me now, and then back at The Man. They were talking about me. "Well," I said with a slight shrug and an indifferent tone, "there's a lot to like."

Was I talking about her or talking about myself?

Yes!

Then I walked away. I had my reasons.

my reasons... I'm Batman!

"You should have talked to her." He told me. It was the second time that day he tried to get me talking to a girl he knew I'd be into. He had a woman, and knows full well how much I need one to free me from my cage. Its the sort of thing friends do.

"I'm not there, dude." I replied. "If something's gonna happen for me its going to have to just happen. I'm in no position for anything else."

When I saw her again I decided I wanted a shot of the girl that hung with The Man. She was good looking, sure, but it was her personality that stood out, her banter, her mannerisms. This one had character.

there goes Tokyo....

"I was talkin to you yesterday." I told her.

"You must mean the blond." Humble. Nice.

"No" I smiled, my tone saying NO WAY! "It was you. My friend was breakin your balls."

"About what?"

I didn't want to say it. Now I broke into a grin. "About likin me. Mind if I get a picture?" I knew I'd be using it for this story. I raised my camera.

"NO!" she yelled, lifting her hands in front of her face. "You have to buy something first." This went on for a minute or two before I conceded. "Ok" I said with a shrug.

At that moment the artist grabbed her, sensing I was getting away. He held her there until I got my pic. I had the wrong lense on.

"I'm the model for the story" she said, picking up one of the books. Then the artist went into his sales pitch, showing me his work. She was the model. The process he used was exactly something I talked to The Man about doing two years ago. It was the idea that got us going to Comicon in the first place.

He set up his story like shots in a movie, then photographed the scene. Then he posterized the pictures with photoshop and re-inked them. Or something similar. You still need artistic talent to pull it off, and sets and actors to shoot.

I was in already. I came here to see something different, and this was. I wanted to do this myself, so I wanted to see how he did it. And I would have bought them just for the picture of her. I do things like that. Besides.... I needed something to write about; I didn't tell them that though, I let him sell me on it anyway.

So I got on my knees, and she really gave me something to remember her by. That was fun. That was great.

That was the Loaded Barrel Studios booth. The artist is Jared Barel. The model is Mars Alexandra. The books are "Brielle and the Horror" and "Grey"

So far I haven't checked out Grey, though I'll probably have read it by the time you read this. Brielle and the Horror was excellent. Two issues weren't enough; I NEED to know what happens next. I feel like I've been left hanging and its driving me NUTS! I want to get back in there, re-engage Maverick!

The art is definitely different. It might take some getting used to for some of you, but there's a lot to like, and you can tell over a span of just a few issues that it keeps getting better. At times the lettering pops, which is huge. But what impresses me the most is that shooting the panels for this look is much more like directing a movie than anything else. The pacing is superb; another must with this type of storyline. You know my thing is storyline. I hope they can keep it going, and I think you should check it out.

The title of this piece is "Personality.... it goes a long way", so how does my little story tie in? Just as I had said in "Doing it right" with how Jenna pulled me back to the instigatorzine booth, Mars Alexandra was the reason I became interested in Loaded Barrel (Amazingly the booths we right next to one another; read between the lines and you'll put it all together). This time it was how the girl carried herself, her sassy, playful attitude that made her memorable. If she had been a dead fish, non-responsive to The Man's charm, or worse, a dismissive bitch, then I wouldn't be writing about this right now. But as she was, she was perfect.

Add to that how Jared jumped in right when he sense he had to, taking the time to show me each of the books on the table while being very personable in the process and they won themselves a new fan. And as of this writing, I am a fan.

Once again, a team of people personally invested gets it done. This time by giving me an enjoyable experience out of what comes naturally by being themselves. Even Ringo, who snapped the photos, had a smile on his face the entire time. I hope they do well and find nothing but big things ahead. Mars definitely lets the beast out of the cage, and it's beautiful to see.

Speaking of letting the beast out, this sexy beast just above (I told you I'd get back to her in yesterdays post) had some of that going on herself. You can tell she's having fun. But it wasn't enough for me to give a damn about what she was selling, and there's good reason, none of it her fault at all.

I've gone on in detail this week about how important it is to get noticed, and then once you get that notice, to have something worth showing and worth saying in order to keep the attention that's so hard to gain. I hope my stories served well to illustrate the point.

But getting noticed is a double edged sword. Its of the utmost importance to get noticed the right way, and for the right things. Being remembered for the wrong thing, something negative, can completely turn your audience off and destroy any chance you had with them.

Tomorrow we'll talk about the WRONG way of doing things..... but that's all for now folks....

2011 NYC Comic - what NOT to do... being remembered the wrong way!

Last night I wrote over five pages on all the wrong things to do when you're trying to make a name or keep your name, build a fan base or hold the love and adoration of people everywhere.... it was biting, it was funny... the sort of thing you pass on to your friends saying "YO, you HAVE to read this..." which is something I very much need. Its that 2nd and 3rd level that really brings success, when you tell your friends and then they tell their friends, which hasn't been happening for me here... and this article had what it took to get there.... you would have been telling everyone about it....

And then I tore it up. Biting, nasty and hurtful funny may be a way to get myself noticed, but its not what I want to be remembered for. Its not how I want people to think of me.

These girls right here knew that I was taking this picture; I had asked them politely before doing so, and this was the reception that I got. Either they were bored with the gig and didn't want to be there or I just wasn't important enough for them to waste their time with.

And when they finally did acknowledge me what I got was a blank stare and a half assed smile. Originally I had ripped them apart. Part of the allure of going to any sort of show like this is getting pictures with the ladies, and when you take a job getting paid for nothing more than how good you look pictures with the oogling customers is part of the gig.

Then I saw that part of the brunettes nipple is showing when you look closely at the picture. She's practically bare breasted here, and maybe she's feeling uncomfortable; the blond there's no excuse for, she has that same indifferent blank stare in every shot.

Compare that to this girl here. Look how nice and sweet she looks. I'm not sure if she was even a model working the booth where I caught her because I didn't see her again for the rest of the weekend, but she hung around until everyone who wanted a picture of her got one, and she did so with a real genuine smile on her face. She made you feel like she was happy to see you.

And here's that other girl again the next day telling me to get out of there with a look. I don't have to be where I'm not wanted, and I certainly don't have to spend my money there. Maybe she was still uncomfortable prancing around in her draws, I don't know.

The fangs here are awesome, they really make the costume, and you can tell from the way that the corners of her mouth and the corners of her eyes curl upwards (micro expressions) that she's not faking the smile at all.

Now check out the sneer on her mug. The look of disdain is downright sickening, I can feel my stomach turning just thinking about it. Do you see a major difference here? I don't know what she was selling or for who, but I never attempted, nor would I even try, to find out. If I did know I'd tell you all to get as far away from them as possible. I wrote two articles this week, "Doing it right" and "Personality..." about people that made me WANT to know what they were about by drawing me in in different ways, and here all I can talk about is how turned off I am by these people.

Maybe the people she was working for are horrible, making them do things that make them completely uncomfortable in a large crowd. And maybe its just the girls, maybe they don't really want to be there and think they're above some of the people in that crowd, above taking pictures for people yearning to be part of a new club. Either way, its a disaster, as you can see clearly.

Do you remember this guy? Brian C. O'Halloran, played Dante Hicks in Clerks and a whole lot of nothing afterwards? He was charging $25 a pop for his autograph when he should have been happy people even remember him. Clerks was one of my favorite movies in college, even for $10 I would have done it and come away thinking how great an experience it was. Instead I don't even want to hear his name now. Meanwhile, for $10 I got my picture sitting inside the actually Delorean used in "Back to the Future" AND the Batmobile's from the 1989 Batman movie and the 1960's TV series.

At least Dante is a pseudo-celebrity though. One guy gave me his sales pitch about his Comic line that no one ever heard of that he was trying to promote. He had a good line going, I was about to buy when I gave him my card for this blog. "I don't want you to waste your card" he told me. Thanks. Thanks for nothing. I don't want to waste my money either. So I walked away.

Pseudo-Celebrities, like pseudo intellectuals, really crack me up with what they think they're worth and why. Up top is a picture of smoking hot Jessica Buriaga, a Playboy Playmate of the month like 2 years ago. She's famous for nothing more than taking her clothes off.

And this stunner is Kayla Collins, another Playmate from like 2008 when she was 18 or so. Both of these lovely ladies were at Comicon this past weekend...

Did I say lovely? Not at all. Do you see the looks on their faces? The one on the left is Jessica Buriaga and the one on the right is some other random chick who took it all off for the cameras. I didn't even bother trying to get one of Kayla Collins, and for good reason. They were charging people $15 just to take a picture of them WITH YOUR OWN CAMERA! Seriously, for them to stand up and pose for you they were charging $15. Where do people get off? The only people who even know who these girls are are the ones who beat the meat to their pictures. And am I really getting a better shot than the mostly nude airbrushed to hell versions up top? Hell no.

Because of this I wouldn't pay any mind to anything these women are promoting ever again. Meanwhile, all it would have taken was a nice smile and a pretty pose (all they know how to do) and I'd have been hooked for life.

By contrast, that's Zulay Henao who starred opposite Channing Tatum in the movie Fighting. At 32 years old she's still every bit as hot as either of the girls from Playboy (hell, she probably has a much better body) and she's actually got some kind of talent other than the promise of what she does on her back. Zulay was promoting her movie Boy Wonder, and because of this picture alone I looked it up and may even wind up checking it out.

At one point she walked through the hall with her body guard and we locked eyes from only about three feet away. There was no uncomfortable feeling, no air of superiority, no I'm hot and in movies so give me money just because I showed up, none of that. She might actually think that, but I would never know it because she made me feel welcome, like a person. And now I think she's great!

I'm not sure if this piece flows as smoothly as many of my others, or that it gets my point across the way that I want to, but sometimes we do so much reaching up for that higher level on the ladder that we step on the people on the rungs below, and it causes the exact opposite effect that we're going for. We want to get noticed, but its imperative to be noticed for the RIGHT reasons or you may lose them forever. Which means don't just bring in models, bring in the RIGHT models that fit what you're doing. Don't just bring in celebrities, but the RIGHT celebrities that live the message you're trying to send. Don't just have people working for you, but who really love what you're about and WANT to make it better.

And if you're lucky enough to get that elevated status, remember the people that got you there. It wasn't the ones up on the top of the mountain already, its the average everyday people that get behind you, pushing you up there. I've had friends who's careers blew up only to change to that Playboy Playmate "I don't have time for you" mentality. At one time I would have done anything for them, and now I can't be bothered. Its all in how you do things....

Divine Inspiration and that thing that guides you...

Have you ever had a really great idea that you just knew would work, but for whatever reason you just weren't able to pull it off, only to see someone else doing exactly what you wanted to later on down the road?

While I'm not quite done with my Comicon coverage (there are still a few things I wanted to get in there), I wanted to talk about something today that's been on my mind all week. And if you don't think that there's something divine, or at the very least something guiding us, beyond the veil of perception, what we like to call life or reality, then you just aren't paying attention.

Earlier in the week I spoke about Instigatorzine and their bi-monthly magazine that puts new authors and aspiring artists together in order to try to get them some exposure, and how I had wanted to do that myself, which was the very purpose behind The Mad Doser Presents in the first place.

A few days later I gave you an article about Loaded Barrel Studios and the comic line that they produce using a process that I had wanted to try two years ago.

Well... the Jacob Javits Center is an enormous place. The NYCC stretched across 6 massive rooms with thousands of booths set up with all kinds of products and creative ideas spread out before you. Yet out of that entire show flow and display after display, the two companies that struck me most were right next to one another using the very same ideas that I had wanted to work with but was unable to get going on.

For me it was a matter of that all important support system that I keep prattling on about. I could never get the right people around me to help out or get the people that I DID have to help excited enough about the projects to want to contribute more. Its a failing that I have, my greatest flaw, that keeps me from finding the success I've long sought.

Originally I had told you that I walked right by at first, but it was a feeling I had, a vibe from an attractive young lady that got me to go back. Some might say that was God, or the Force, whatever you believe, saying "hold on right there kid. I want you to see something. You were right, those ideas of yours work... and THIS is how its done. Now go out there and get em".

If you look at the pics I've posted today you may see some similarites in them with the comics I highlighted earlier in the week. I had done these over two years ago now; the cameras used weren't nearly as good as the one I have now either. This next one actually caused a huge fight where the girls boyfriend threatened to beat me up for messing with his property... until he found out what he was in for if he tried it. She ended up cutting me off over it only to find out he had been cheating on her with his ex the entire time they were going out....

But for all the work I had done, or thought that I had done, there was and is still such a long way to go, and I wasn't putting the pieces together the right way. I came away from the week seeing how very much was ahead of me if I really wanted to make it in this business, how much would have to be done if I were to do it right.

The thing of it is... you can take almost anything as a positive or a negative. I could be looking at this in terms of how far ahead in the game other people are over me, and how much I have to do just to catch up; a daunting task. Or I could look at it like this..... something just showed me the way!

Sure, there's a LOT that I have to get done now. One of my tasks for the weekend is a major list making marathon just to set up a chart of all there is to do. But now I have a clear idea of exactly what that is, and exactly what I have to do to get there. Its going to take time. Its going to take money I don't have. Its going to take people I don't know. And that's going to require me changing the way I do things and learning new ways to communicate with people in order to get all of that, bring people into the fold.... I have to become a new me....

You know what though..... ever since I've felt a charge that I haven't had in a long, long time. Where once before I'd be overwhelmed and crushed by the fear of all the bad that could happen, now I feel nothing but the challenge in everything, and its stirred my soul. Its carried over into other areas of my life already. And I'm ready to go.

Who says there's nothing watching over us, guiding our way?

And so... I'm giving you something. Here's a link to a free download of my last eBook "A Loaded Portrait". I've always said I write for your enjoyment, so enjoy. Its a book of short stories that we had put together to test the eBook format when we were trying to do the very thing Instigatorzine is now promoting new writers and artists. If you like what you see, contact me and you can be in the next one. All I ask is that you pass it along to everyone you know.

That's all for today.

Reminders that Life is Awesome and the Christmas Beard Contest!

The timing couldn't have been better. Friday night was a total wash; I don't even remember it, couldn't tell you what I was doing. And the rest of the afternoon I was dealing with a twin monster. The first was a little facebook social experiment I tried, giving away my eBook "A Loaded Portrait" for free and asking people to share the link. I personally tagged every single person on my friend list, hoping for 10%. I fell far short of that, and I could have told you every single person who would do it before I even started. It was both crushing and eye opening.

The second was the redesign of Maddoser.com. If you didn't know, that's really my base of operations. You need a solid web presence, and that one is mine. I'd neglected it for sometime now.... but there's a plan in the works..... I needed a mood changer... something to put me in a positive spin.

My buddy Mike was gracious enough to invite me to his birthday party, and I really needed to be out and around people, but I wasn't sure what they would be getting out of me; I wasn't in a partying mood. But its a relaxed atmosphere with Mike and his wife and friends... I was getting comfortable, guests were filing in....

And then it happened.....

"You know what I love?" a woman I just met said to me in the middle of a conversation we were having about Elvis....

"Dr. Phil!"

"huh." I responded immediately, matter of factly.

Its not polite to laugh in someones face, not conducive to a free fun having party atmosphere. So Mike, when he saw my reaction, had to turn away.

A few minutes later a new challenge was laid before me, something that I didn't see coming. I had no idea what I was in for; I wasn't prepared. I walked into the room and The Wiz kicked me square in the nuts! I dropped to one knee gasping for air, couldn't move, down for the count. It was my second eye opening experience of the night.... no body beats The Wiz.... nobody beats The Wiz.

I had been weighed, I had been measured... and I had been found wanting...

Time to officially send me down to the minor leagues. I just can't hang with the big boys any longer.

As Mike said later on that night, its not often that you can look across the room at someone and know EXACTLY what the other person is thinking. But it kept happening. The order of things is really skewed now, but there was the first time in my life anyone has ever compared me to Collin Farrel.

Most of the time they tell me I look just like Matthew Glave.... you know him as Glenn Gulia.

Somewhere in the middle of Forest Gump drinking Dr. Pepper and having to pee, ruining your Black Panther party, and deciding not to run anymore it happened again...

"NO ONE SAYS GOOD BYE TO ME WHEN THEY LEAVE!"

WHOA! What the hell is going on here? I don't know, but I can't recall laughing so much in one night in a very, very long time. Over and over again I was being reminded of just how LIFE IS THE BEST!!!

Because you just can't make this up.

I don't know if it was because I was the new guy (everyone loves the new guy) or if I just fit in that well with everyone there, but MAN, was I happy I went. Some people are lucky enough to have this sort of experience all the time, every week, and life is so awesome for them because of it that they never even realize that there's any other way. Sign me up for that right now! I'm in!

And you know what else I'm in on? The inaugural Christmas Beard Challenge! That's right, we're making it official. You have from now until Christmas to grow out the BEST, most creative, beard that you can pull out of that mug of yours. We haven't even decided what the winner gets yet, but that's not the point... winning is... and getting a cool beard out of it.... one more thing to stroke... play with. My face is begging for a shave right now, but its not going to happen. Mike and Joe are going to give me a run for my money. And last night Ringo joined the frey. These are the things you get into in the midst of being reminded how awesome life is.

That and.... I've never had anyone throw themselves at me like that in my entire life. It was crazy. Quite literally... CRAZY!

I don't think its crazy at all....

I'm just glad Mike and I were on the same page the entire time, there's nothing better than being around folks that are seeing the world the same way that you are in that moment..... and laughing your ass off at it the whole night.....

As I drove home another thing really struck me.... the third eye opener of the day....

Normally I'm the guy people look at with that expression that says "WTF?", but even I have my people with whom we just go together like peas and carrots (thanks Forest). More and more I'm finding mine. What I was seeing was any lady friend (special lady friend, that is, YEEAAHHH!) that I start spending time with has GOT to be able to chill in that crowd, chill at that party, and fit in just as well. Guys and gals alike, you don't want to be hanging out with someone that makes your friends pull you aside and say "WTF?". You don't want to be strapped to the one who makes your buddies look across the room at each other and know what the other is thinking.... laughing so hard they're crying about it....

Unless you do it on purpose. Afterall, we all need a good laugh, don't we. We all need those reminders of how awesome life is. I got mine Saturday night thanks to Mike, his wife Mary Jayne and their awesome friends. Because of how great they were, I got to be great too.

As for my little social experiment..... it was a test that had to be done. I know I can write, now more than ever, but that and $2.50 might get you on a bus. Unless you can get people to check you out its all for naught, and I had to see just how bad I am at that. And its bad! As it goes... I don't have anything most of these people want... they don't see what's in it for them by helping me. Now at least I know the people I can count on and the ones I can't.

Before my experiences of the past week or so I would have looked at the mountain before me and decided not to start the climb. Seriously, in my position I probably should just give up, get a job, put my head in the sand and forget the whole writing thing. But since seeing what I told you about in my articles "Doing it right", "Personality...." and "what NOT to do" something has changed in me, and I NEED to take on the challenge. And I know what did it too....

Eh, maybe I should just give it up anyway.... maybe I'm too overmatched, too far behind the rest the of pack, too late to the game to make a things work....

But I don't feel tardy.

Slave Girl Princess Leia, and the balance between negative heckling and constructive criticism...

The response to yesterdays post, and all of last week, was OUTRAGEOUS! Thanks for that! Its amazing how that happens when just 1 of you shares these posts with your friends on Facebook.

One of the things that I held back from my coverage of the New York City Comic Con, the review of a book I was given for free from someone that I've seen around at a few different venues just for the purpose of the review, ends up being the perfect lead in for today.

The reason its perfect.... I just can't do it. I can't.

The book wasn't good. Sure, there were a couple of good ideas, but nothing sustainable. It just seemed like a bad rip on the old Tick comics, with a story that just didn't work. But I know how hard it is to do all that work, believe in it, put the time, money and effort into selling it... and it going no place. I just don't have the heart to tear it apart, not like I would do with multimillion dollar Hollywood productions.

The shame of it is, in terms of getting yourself out there, the creator was doing everything right. He had the nice looking booth girl getting attention, he spent the money on a nice sized booth, his table was full of different things like T-Shirts and what not.... but this is what happens when you're selling a product that's just not good.

And its situations just like this that sometimes put me at odds with a lot of the success principles that I've been learning over the passed few years. You're supposed to get as far away as you can from the naysayers. If people don't believe in what you're doing, you're not supposed to listen to them. Negative people will only drag you down, so go out there and live your dream, and all that jazz, right? Except that sometimes they're right.

There's a big difference between belittling someones dreams because you want to keep them down, or because you can't let them become more successful than you are, or whatever other reasons you can come up with, and the genuine warning that a real friend, and only a real friend, can offer.

If we're going to meet some ladies and your breath smells like my taint after a summer softball double header, its up to me to tell you about it. If you have a voice that sounds like someones skinning cats in a back alley behind a Chinese take out joint, and you're scheduled to appear on American Idol, then its my job to let you know what you're in for. If you've got a new man or woman in your life, and I've seen pictures of them online taking the hot lunch.... AND all of your friends think they're annoying and crazy and will ruin you.... guess what.....

So as much I do believe in positive thinking and perseverance, believing in what you do and all of that mess... you also have to know when you're backing the wrong horse.

Now, I could have made a splendid display a ripping this guy apart (I'm can be a real ass when I get my Irish up), just like I could have done a weeks worth of hysterical reviews of people that should never be dressed as Princess Leia in the slave outfit letting it all hang out..... but what would I really gain out of that? I'd effectively be destroying a good, though misguided, guy and his dream and given that gut wrenching twist that any of us with a conscious feels when we've hurt someone for no good reason; that sick feeling we get when we know we've done something really wrong.

Of course, I could have been a good media whore and done whatever I had to for new audience members. I could have blown this guy like a fluff girl at a gang bang so he'd tell everyone he knows how great I am.... but you all know how much I hate people that are full of it.... besides... to do so would not only cheapen the write ups I gave on the people, companies, and work that I really enjoyed... it would have cheapened everything that I have to say.

That's integrity, and its hard to keep, especially when you're up against it. But at the end of things, what else do we really have.

That doesn't mean I have to be nasty though. You know how the saying goes... if you've don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Maybe I'm getting old. Or maybe I'm just getting soft. Possibly both. The truth is that I probably don't have a right to complain about anything bad that happens to me. If you've ever been standing on a corner on Queens Blvd and randomly got pelted with Wendy's burgers... yeah... you're welcome. And if you've been on a date on cold winter night.... and some ass soaked you with a full Big Gulp.... could have been me too. There was a time that I was a horrible human being...

What am I talking about, that still makes me laugh my ass off....

I'm a terrible person.

My post yesterday was talking about an awesome time we had, mostly at the expense of someone. And now I find myself caught between conflicting emotions. Yeah, that was great, so damn funny I don't have words for it. Yet at the same time, I think I can say for sure that every one of us at one time or another has gone to a party, let it all out, had a good time, only to find out later on that we completely embarrassed ourselves somehow. Everyones that ass sometime, right? Eh, maybe its just me. That's part of the reason I keep the manimal in the cage.... ever on the look out for the return of the ass!

Everyone of us has thought we made a real connection with someone, only to find out that it was the exact opposite, and they want to run as far from us as possible. Eh, maybe that's just me too, I don't know. That's a terrible feeling; its heartbreaking.

What I was going to say today, the point of all of this, was to remember that these people, the guy with the bad book, the nut job at the party.... well, they're people too. Imagine how you would feel if it were you in that position. It puts a whole different spin on the scenario doesn't it? If I have a strength at all these days its empathy, and that's born out of always trying to put myself in someone else's shoes, see things how they're seeing it, feel what they're feeling. Try it sometime, it'll change you for the better.

Of course.... I may have my stalker for the first time in years, so you have to find a way to tell someone. You can't keep having them ruin your parties or life stops being a party, you'll lose the reminders of how awesome life is. If your friends favorite Chinese Take Out has people skinning cats in the back alley, you should probably find a way to tell them that may be broccoli, but that aint chicken. And if they're putting all of their time, money, effort and dreams into a thing that will never catch on because it just completely sucks....

I just don't have the heart to hurt anyone these days. I've been there too many times myself to make someone else go through it too. Unless they're one of the "popular" people or "beautiful" people that have always crapped on the ones they deemed unworthy....

Those people make me LOVE showing just what an ASSHOLE I can be. Really.

But not when its a good person, no matter how crazy or misguided they may be.

But that doesn't mean they don't need help to find the right path. Myself included. So where's the balance? That's my question for the day. Hit me with your opinions, give me some answers.

The picture challenge and your montage song!

Some of you may be confused by all of the Princess Leia slave girl costumes from yesterday's post; they were really loosely based on what I was talking about. If the costumes themselves were that loose the women in them would have been naked.

Most of the time I try to carefully choose the pictures that I use to enhance whatever I'm talking about, and since I've started doing it I find its a real nice form of storytelling. Beyond that, what better way to make a point; afterall, a picture is worth a thousand words.

There are times though, that for whatever reason, the mood I'm in or the story I'm telling, feels a little heavy. No one likes to be a downer, and that's certainly not what we're going for here, is it? When I'm reading one of the pieces I've prepared for you and catch that in the tone I look for something to pick it up, balance it out. It always comes back to balance, doesn't it?

While I realize that it may turn some of you off, so will crying in my cheerios, so I hope its only off putting for a bit. Besides, what can be more iconic than Princess Leia? The real reason behind choosing those pictures was simple though..... I couldn't decide which one to go with, so I used them all.

I'll have to find a creative way to make it up to the ladies, all my female fans out there (which is most of my readers, surprisingly), that makes me use nothing but pictures of dudes that won't make me sick. THAT my friends, should be interesting. BUT.... part of the entire reason behind this mess is to get those creative juices flowing, so I'll come up with something cool; its a good challenge.

I'm all for a creative challenge. I love the damn things. Often, when you're writing everyday, it can be hard to come up with good topics. And those of you who read me all the time can by now tell the difference when I'm really feeling something. With this, and even more so in my storytelling, what I use in my fiction for my books, when you're really feeling it the story just writes itself. As the writer your only job is to just let it happen. All the best things in life happen that way, don't you think?

That's probably why I enjoyed the short story book that I've been pushing so much. I think every one of those stories had been something like that.

One of the stories in that book, "A Moment", one of my favorite pieces that I've ever put down, took ten years to write. I had the idea, but it took meeting the right person and one of my worst days in life to happen in order to put it all together. From there it just flowed through me, and now because of it, one of the dearest creatures to ever touch my heart will be with me forever. Not that I needed the story for that, but I get to share her with you, which you couldn't experience otherwise.

I've got a lot of talented musician friends, and many of them tell me that for them its the same thing, the music just flows through them. Well.... I'm always looking for new ways to tap that flow.

So here's a little something different for you, a way to make things more fun, and get this spot on a whole new interactive level..... you pick the pictures and I'll write something based on them. Pick out any ten random photos that aren't porn and I'll see what I can do with them. Sent them to john@maddoser.com

In the meantime, maybe you can help me with something I've been trying to decide since WAY back to my very first post "I NEED TO FLY ON THIS ONE!". If you haven't read that one you really should. I've come a long way since then now that I decided to clean it up, but just be warned, its full of swearing and toilet humor. Actually, that's probably all it is.

Anyway.... what would your montage song be?

Every time I think of the answer a hundred songs fill my head. Most of the time I learn towards Tom Petty's "Learning to Fly" because it seems to fit where I am right now.

Though I'm really not too sure that a slower song would do, a montage should be fast and upbeat, no?

That's not where I'm at though. For a moment I thought "No Rain" would work perfectly....

"All I can say is that my life is pretty plain...."

But a montage is supposed to show you getting things done, progressing through the major stages of your life in a three minute musical mosaic.

Still, "No Rain" fits pretty well right now. Trouble is... who wants to watch a three minute clip of me sitting around doing nothing in all its various forms for six months? And sadly, right there, if anything does, that statement just about sums up my sorry state of affairs.

DAMN, I NEED A MONTAGE!

The real answer to the montage question probably lies in what you want for your life in the next few weeks or months though I suppose, if we had that choice. And since I'm stuck on Tom Petty anyway, I'm going to leave you with the montage song I'd choose, one of my favorite of all time, if mine were a love story.

Yeah.... that'd be cool.
That's what I really want.

What about you? What would be happening? What would your song be?

They're not always "Happy" Endings!

What I'm about to tell you is a cautionary tale, not meant to show you how to live your life, but like the myths of old, as a guide, a source to inform one how to navigate passed the pitfalls that await us all.

We all have our dreams, our goals, what we want to do and where we hope life will take us. But I wonder how many of you out there truly understand the delicate nature of the paths we tread, how a single fateful moment can change the course of our destiny, how far off one wrong decision can pull us from fulfillment.

Mike was a hardworking man, constructed a living from his sweat and blood, but he too wanted more. Like many of us, he hoped to one day meet the girl of his dreams, settle down, get married.

There was a deep seated desire that poured from the center of his soul to share his music with the world, get out on tour, play before packed houses in exotic locations and party it up with celebrities. Though, if it came down to it, Mike would have settled for buying a drink for his idol, his inspiration, Frank Turner, and see how crazy the night could get.

When one works hard, they party hard too; its almost a necessity, something that must be done to make it all worth it. And Mike knew how to party!

That party was at Mike's place this time around, but what's a party without the one essential ingredient.... BEER?! The days had been so long, so rough, that he hadn't had time to stop at the store. He was fresh out of the most glorious invention of all time, and soon enough his group of misfits would be descending upon his man cave full of dreams of drunken debauchery.

What was a guy to do in moments like this? He'd have to find a place to stop, pick something up, at least enough to get things going.... and then he saw it.

So often we find ourselves calling out to some higher power, some beneficial force, that when things appear to us out of thin air we choose to take them as divine events meant to save us from our plight. But sometimes, just sometimes, when something appears too good to be true, that's precisely what it is.

"Free beer with donation" the sign in the window read, as if just for him. It was a sign from God; Mike and the boys would be partying hard tonight.... and I don't mean in a soup kitchen.

"What kind of donation are you looking for?" Mike asked a tiny, decrepit old black woman behind the counter.

"Whatsa matta boy?" she answered in an accent he couldn't place, "you tink dis called The Jerk Hut fa nuttin?" And then her face gnarled into a twisted smile. "We aint be servin chicken here."

There's a major advantage in the animal world, a gift not granted to human men.

If it HAD been granted, we would never get ourselves into this sort of trouble, but then, we'd probably never leave the house either. Mike caught on to just what type of donation it was going to take when she snapped a rubber glove over her outstretched hand, pointing towards the back room with a grin.

At that moment a vision flashed in his mind at just what these drink fests could degenerate to.....

Looking around, it didn't seem as if anyone could ever find out, and here he had a guarantee. Besides, the happy ending would let him relax for the rest of the night. He'd be set, no matter what kind of sausage fest the night turned into, and none of his buddies would ever know. Who cares that she was old as dirt?

"So, uh.... what kind of beer is it?"

After two showers Mike still felt dirty, but there was just no way to cleanse his soul. Friends piled into the living room, poured into the yard, but it didn't take long to realize that things had gone desperately wrong.

"Our own special brew" is probably never an acceptable answer when asking what you're drinking from a place called "The Jerk Hut" that's giving happy endings out back. But Mike wasn't thinking clearly anymore at that point, his manhood had taken over, and what real man can turn down free beer and sexual gratification simultaneously, no matter WHAT package either came in?

When the guests began dropping like flies the horrific notion came to him.... exactly what was it tainting those beers?

Gone was the dream of tropical vacations; there would be no playing in packed houses in front of rabid crowds in far off exotic locations..... no longer was there hope of dream girls, of better days....

You just can't go swimming or get close to the ladies when you're forced to live out the rest of your days under quarantine.....

In a hazmat suit.

But don't be sad for Mike....
His time in the Jerk Hut wasn't all for naught
His donation didn't go to waste....
Man juice didn't fruit the beer; it was a certain guarantee that no one would pass that way twice which did that...

Mike's seed has been planted.
His bloodline will live on...

This is how babies are made.....

WHERE PEACOCKS DARE!

Special thanks to Mike Graci for taking up the picture challenge.

I hope I didn't disappoint.

Frank Turner kicked ass on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night.

He's so damn good. I'll be listening to his Pandora station all day today.

Beavis and Butthead reboots tonight - can't wait!

Closing Time.... on your big dreams of fame and fortune - How the entertainment business really works

Here's something that you may have already heard, maybe not, but I definitely found interesting. Last night I attended a small reading for a memoir written by Jacob Schlicter, the drummer of the band Semisonic, called "So you want to be a Rock and Roll Star". In case you forgot (because I did) they had the song "Closing Time" a few years back that was a pretty big hit.

Eh, mostly that song just annoys the shit out of me, but like anything else as time passes and we're reminded of our days of yore, those glory days, and because we associate a song with that feeling it seems to get better to us. That's probably the only reason people don't think Bon Jovi completely sucks anymore.

But that's neither here nor there, and none of this is what I found interesting. Not at all.

After the reading Jake went on to explain how the music business works once a record label signs a band. They act like a bank, with the label paying for everything, production cost of the album, music video fees, tours, promotional products, advertising... all of it. The band itself makes money off of royalties from the album, but only AFTER the record company gets back all of the cash it shelled out in the initial investment to set the whole thing up.

Problem is, he informed us, that it costs upwards of $800 thousand dollars just to get a song on the radio. Thats not counting any of the other fees associated with getting a band to hit it big.

Semisonic sold well over a million albums, had a hit song that pretty much everyone alive at the time heard played constantly over the radio, which by anyones terms would have to be considered a huge success, right? And for all of their troubles, they made NO MONEY doing it. None. By the time the record label took back their expenses there was nothing left for the band.

And this is the same story with pretty much every aspect of the entertainment industry, whether you're a musician, writer, artist, model, whatever it is... unless you reach mega-stardom there really isn't the big fortune waiting at the end of the rainbow. The best that you can hope for is that you get to do something you love for a few years and become well known enough to open up opportunities for yourself later on down the road.

As he explained though, if you don't think that you have it in you to be that mega-star, you might as well not even bother. This is why they tell you, especially when it comes to being a writer, that if you can do anything else at all, you should do it. There's a lot of heartache, hard work for broken dreams without return on investment, and low paying gigs waiting down that road, with no promise at all for better days ahead. I'll probably be broke for the rest of my life because of it, because I'm a writer, its all I know how to do. Damn, I'd love to be a mechanic or an electrician, at least those guys make money.

So how was it that Schlicter became a writer? Well, while they were on tour he had been doing a blog, and someone he knew with connections told him how good they were and that he should put them into a book. The idea was then given to a literary agent whom Jake seemed to trust, and shopped around to various houses until it was finally picked up. The publishing company set up some promotional appearances in a few cities, and then he had to use his own cash to pay to promote the book in other places.

Here is a guy who played drums in a band that sold over a million albums, wrote a book that was picked up by a major publishing house, and he's giving free readings for small groups of about fifteen people in coffee shops in Long Island. I only went because it was down the block from me in the place I normally go to get my writing done anyway.

If that right there doesn't show you the man behind the curtain and open your eyes to how things go when people DON'T know who you are, then I really don't know what else to say to you. This is why you go to things like Comic Con and see every big comic artist in the industry set up little booths and selling prints for $10 a pop, and why flegling actors and former Playboy Playmates have to charge you for pictures you take with your own camera.... because its all a lie, a myth, and only the MOST famous, the big boys, really make the money to call the shots and stop playing the game.

For the rest, all what you really get out of it is an invitation to the party until you're too old to do it anymore. For the Playmates and models, that's about 30 years old. For the guys, its when you can't pay the bills or get those playmates and models to sleep with you anymore. Then its time to get a real job.

I didn't pick up the book, he ran out of copies (like I said, it was a REALLY small reading), but I'm thinking about it because it seemed to be very well done going by the excerpt that he read. And there it is, even for the semi-famous, those who had someone open the door for them, its still about gaining a fan or two one coffee shop at a time.

In a sense though, this makes me feel a whole lot better. The approach that we're taking in regards to what we offer young writers at The Mad Doser Presents and Gemini publishing is exactly the same as every other big company out there. Its how the industry works, so we're doing it right.

If there's an issue its with the delusions that aspiring entertainers have of "making it" and what success in this field is. Schlicter talked about how, when he was in the band, he focused on the business side of things, how many fans he had and the money they made, their fame, as the measure for success, and it sucked all of the energy (and the cool) right out of the experience. Now as a writer, he focuses more on the joy of doing it. And that HAS to be what you're in it for.... or you're DEAD!

The other day I was listening to TMCtheshow again, and they're every bit as good as anything you're going to hear on the radio. They have their format down, good characters, and they really love what they're doing. What sets shows like Opie and Anthony apart from them is the money behind it, the exposure they get with celebrity guests and spots that easily fall into their laps, and the ever important fan interaction that juices things up. But none of that has anything to do with the performers. With the right backing they'd be just as "known", I have no doubt of that. Unfortunately this is how it works.

Its our responsibility to one another to help each other out as much as humanly possible with cross promotion and whatever else it takes to push us all to that point of recognition. And then, once you've made it, to continue to help up others trying to make a name behind you as well. Have you ever noticed how often famous writers all seemed to know each other, were friends, before they became famous, and all hit that stardom at the same time? Try watching some of the BIO network shows on your favorite actors and its the same thing with them, constantly you see acting troops of young nobodies doing plays and whatnot for free... ten years later half of them are mega-stars, and guess what... they all end up doing movies together continuosly....

With that... I'm trying for ways to get big time exposure, not just for myself but for my people as well. I put it out there yesterday, but I'm now officially looking for aspiring models and actresses to be part of the Ladies of D. Its a whole involved thing that makes all the sense in the world to anyone who knows how all this works. There's a thing or two I could tell you about modelling agencies also.... but thats for another time.

Of course, people get so hooked on those big dreams they get short sighted in the here and now.... so it probably won't go anywhere..... but lets just see.

Its All Hallows Eve...

what you call Halloween, and the sun is nearly up, so there's not much time.

I hope this letter reaches you, that you read it, for its your eyes its meant for. I've never had the right words, that grand sweeping prose that moves the heart, grabs hold of one's soul, but I've always thought in those ways. If only I would have known how to bring to bear those notions so powerful that I am enveloped by them, and in so doing wrap you in this ceaseless love only felt for you.

Love.... so foreign a concept when heard from my lips, more so to those whom know who, know what I've become, what I am. Nevertheless, it is my nature, though none have ever felt it from me, and it runs deeper than you will ever know.

Perhaps, in all of it, that is the most tragic aspect.... that no one, that you, will ever know those depths of my soul. And again, I search for words that won't come... forever searching for what will not come.... and maybe its just as well.

The sky is beginning to brighten just over the horizon now. The stars still shine and the moon gazes upon me, but their light dims with the coming day. I've moved my desk to face the window, removed the shades. Its been so long now since I've seen the sunrise..... I can't think of a more beautiful way to say farewell.

So long I'd spent chasing things outside of myself, anything that would give me that spark of life once more, that I missed all of everything that truly fills a man. Its led me down this dark path, left me with this hunger, this hole that nothing can fill. I've thrown away all I had, my very humanity trying to do so.....

What I wanted to say to you was this..... in your life you will encounter many things, people, experiences..... most will come and go like random breezes in the night. Some will be soft and warm while others whip and bite the flesh, but every now and then you'll be forced to stop and catch your breath. And its those moments, those people, those events that change you forever that this great dream called life is all about.

Human kind..... so funny..... so lost..... they cling so tightly to the fears that keep them alive that they fail to ever live. They focus all they have on making a living and rarely create a life. They waste all their time looking for people they can live with when they should be looking for the people that they can not live without.... don't be afraid. Don't waste life like those fools.

That spark of life that I spoke of..... that's how you'll know.... not the fleeting excitement of meeting someone or doing something new and different, not the light and easy, fun free spirit of just having a good time.... its that thing that stops you dead in your tracks that won't let you move on that tells you. And in that instant the person that you were will be gone, you'll be forever changed..... that's how you'll know.

I was young once, full of life, full of that idealistic vision of better days, perfect worlds. If you could have known me then.... but alas, those days have long since passed. I am outside the world now, no longer part of it. I sit in shadow, in that place in between, neither living nor dead, unseen.

You wouldn't know it, but when my body begins to warm, when my skin begins to heat, I break into hives. At first it tickles, and then it itches, it doesn't burn.... at least not at first, not until its too late.

Those days are gone.... or so I thought.... until I saw you. And now I'm changed. Changed for the better. Changed from this despicable wretch, this vile creature I've become. All of those better parts of my youth, the perfect ideals, the best of me, of my heart, have been stirred in your eyes. You've awakened something I've not felt in....

You are someone that I can not live without. I can not go back to what I'd become before I'd seen you. You raise me up in indescribable ways, towards perfection. And I wish to be your champion. Your champion.... a long lost ideal of chivalry...

But all I touch is death. I can not go on without you.... but to entangle your fate with my own would be to damn you to an eternity of despair and suffering.... I would suck the life from your life and leave you as empty as I....

No.... no, that won't do. There is no hope for happiness with me. There is no hope. That is no life. And since I can not go on otherwise..... I await the sun.

My skin is beginning to crawl. Tears fill my eyes.... the sunrise.... so beautiful.....

Happy Halloween People!

I HATE the snow... and movie time!

Hate it! Its one of the major reasons I moved to Vegas in the first place. So when we got hit with a snowstorm already in October you can imagine how I felt about it. I didn't want to deal, cancelled whatever plans I may have had. No Halloween parties, no nothin! I wasn't even going to leave the house in that crap.

I'm not the type of person that likes being trapped in the house. Like the snow, it drives me NUTS! I get stir crazy, cabin fever. But every once in a while it ends up working for your advantage, and this passed Saturday I did nothing but sit back, relax, and spend the whole day watching movies.

I often talk about how much trash there is out there these days, but the truth is that there are some really good movies being made, its just that they're the ones no one is talking about. I'm probably not supposed to tell anyone that I'm even into the type of films I was watching, but I'm secure enough in my manhood to not care. I like a good story. That's it, bottom line.

So the first flik I checked out was Beastly, with the delectable Vanessa Hudgens. If you think she only does teeny bopper fliks you should see how many pictures are floating around of her in her underwear, but whatever. I'm getting to the point where I'll watch most anything of what she's in. You already know how much I loved Sucker Punch from my article Cockblocking Momo's.

But I actually rented the flik because Beauty and the Beast is still my favorite Disney movie, I associate with the character really well (outside of being rich, no one wants the broke beast, that's me) and it was starring the kid from "I am number 4" Alex Pettyfer, who's also becoming someone that I would check out most things from.

I hear Mary-Kate Olsen tried to cast the same spell on Heath Ledger, and we all know how that one turned out. Or maybe that was the other Olsen twin.... I have no idea, they all look the same to me.

I Am Number Four was outstanding by the way, and if you haven't checked it out you really should. And what's not to like, good story, solid action, and two really hot ladies, Glee's stunner Dianna Agron (up top, look at those eyes!) and Teresa Palmer (below) who was in The Sorcerer's Apprentice and Take Me Home Tonight, two more films I really enjoyed. And of course, we can't forget one of my favorite actors Timothy Olyphant, but we'll get back to him later. The juice is worth the squeeze.

Beastly was alright, I know, all this for a flik that was just alright. But worth $1.

All summer everyone kept talking about the movie Bridesmaids, so for a buck I figured why not check it out. I know, I know, chick flik, except that its a chick flik full of nothing but guy humor. Certain scenes were just plain sick, and others were so embarrassing I had to run out of the room. It was just an odd watch, but for anyone who's ever been in a position in life where everything just sucks and there isn't a single aspect of it that's going right or how you want it (where I am now), funny or not its just a damn good movie. Its also got Rose Byrne in there, which is always nice, and if you're thinking why the hell would I pass over the two big stars of the movie, Kristen Wiig and Maya Rudolph (both great in this by the way), then you just don't know what it is that I do here.

That up above is Rose Byrne. Below is Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, the new eye catcher in Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Do you have any idea how difficult it is with some of these women to get pictures that aren't completely naked? This isn't a porn blog, regardless of how it may seem at times, and I refuse to go that route.

When I was a kid you were either a G.I. Joe guy or a Transformers guy, me being the latter (though I was really more of a Voltron guy). So when that first film came out I got chills seeing it; I LOVED it. And then the sequel, Revenge of the Fallen came out, and it was absolutely horrendous, one of the worst movies ever made, as one critic put it "with plot holes so large you can drive Optimus Prime through them". When no one said anything at all about this I was worried, but I had to give it a chance, if only for a Red Box rental on a snow day.... I wasn't disappointed. On the contrary, I thought this flik was really cool, a lot of good action sequences, good plot twist, killing of one one of my favorite characters... it really had it all.

I won't go on much about that Shia LaDouche kid, mostly because I think he's a clown, but Josh Duhamel on the other hand is another of those guys that I'll watch almost anything he's in. Duhamel didn't have as big a role in Transformers 3 here, but he played Danny McCoy, the main character of one of my favorite TV shows ever, Las Vegas and he has that believable total good guy thing down pat. Which brings us back to my buddy Timothy Olyphant....

Even when he's playing a good guy he's a total ass about it, which is what makes him great. I swear, Dumahel and Olyphant really are the Boyscout/Asshole versions of each other. They even look enough alike that they could pull off a believable Good brother Bad brother thing. I'd love to see a flik with these two in it going against each other. Get the right chick for them to fight over in some romantic comedy, or some young kid actor for them to square off mentoring... you've got Hollywood GOLD right there I tell ya!

And.... back to Vanessa Hudgens.... that's her singing Everything I own in the movie Bandslam. I'm not shy about admitting that I like the show Glee, I like anything that has people performing like this. And maybe this is another movie for High School kids, and I'm too old to be watching it, but free on cable got me caught up in it, and it was definitely worth my time. I've had this song stuck in my head for three days now, and you probably will too. Call me crazy, but it may be better than the original.

Yes, that is the sexy, the beautiful Anne Hathaway up there. Reason being, I had to waste time waiting for Ringo, so after Bandslam I saw that Love and Other Drugs was just starting, with her and Jake Gyllenhaal. Gyllenhaal is another one that's worked himself into that I'll watch all your shit category, I don't know that its his great acting chops, but he chooses good movies.

That right there above is basically how these two spent the first 45 minutes of the movie. For all you pervs looking to spy Hathaway naked, this is the one for you. She bares herself the entire time. And before you start to think this is just another sappy romantic comedy, stop yourself right there. Its not at all; its actually based on a true story about a Viagra drug rep (when it first hit the market) falling in love with a woman with early onset Parkinson's disease. And its a great film, even if it does fall in that romance category, without the sappiness love stories bring. I still can't decide though who I'm into more, Anne Hathaway or Emmy Rossum.

Both are absolutely gorgeous. Both sing like angels. And both bare it all for the cameras. That last line item is actually a minus in my eyes. I'll never complain about seeing it, don't get me wrong, but in a lot of ways it disappoints me when it happens. Something about innocence and leaving certain things special. I'm funny like that.

So I watched a lot of movies this Saturday, but I saved the best for last. I'm one of those comic book geeks that HATES when someone screws around with story lines and whatnot, which is why I didn't catch X-Men, the First Class in the theatre. Well, I missed out because it was absolutely outstanding. If they had taken out the X-Men part of it and it was just a random superhero movie you would have thought it was just plain great. There was nothing at all not to like about it, big cast, good acting, good story, good action, hot women... it had everything. Kevin Bacon was the main villain, James McAvoy, that Scottish kid with the bad teeth, played Professor X. Rose Byrne (again, I had a theme) got down into her undies. January Jones (up top) was a sexy Emma Frost, and there were a few other surprises too.

This last picture is a holdover from yesterday.... I just wanted to get it in.

So there you have it. There are some good fliks worth catching out there, you just have to sift through the over hyped nonsense to get to them. There's nothing I love more than a good story in any form, so I recommend checking these out if you have nothing better to do.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Delirious....

Yup... that's about right. I usually am delirious, this morning because I got absolutely no sleep at all last night, so I have no idea where this thing is going. And of course, I was just having this conversation at my Alumni Networking event for Ashford University last night, how sleep and getting the proper rest is vital to everything that you do. I mentioned that also in my piece Coach LaSota's Formula for Success, but that didn't get much love, which is a damn shame, because there's some really good stuff in there.

Its crazy what comes up when I look for visuals to help me along with these blogs, and part of what makes them so fun, because often I don't even know what I'll get. This HAD to be used for the cover picture. Eddie Murphy's Delirious is probably the single funniest comedy routine ever to this very day, which is saying alot, but that was WAY back when he was the funniest person on the planet. God was he great! Then he went to the comedians graveyard.... he signed that Disney contract... and it was all gone. All the laughs.... gone. Now he's in that new flik with Ben Stiller. Ten years ago that match could have been sick, now there's just no way it can be good. Matthew Broderick is in it if that doesn't tell you something.

What's going on with Alison Lohman here? Either she's got the blowers cramp or someone's stuffing something into a very uncomfortable place, and I don't mean the back of a Volkswagon. She seems to be enjoying it though. This came up with the delirious search too, from a 2006 Delirious that must have completely sucked because I never heard of it, and I thought she may have been something after she looked so great in Big Fish and was so good in Matchstick Men.

Big Fish was probably the only Tim Burton movie I liked after Batman and Beetlejuice. What an over rated hack. And Matchstick Men, Nick Cage... UGH! Still, I like a whole lot more of his crap than Burton's. He must just do everything and hits a winner now and then. As for Lohman, she's pretty sexy here, huh? She'll probably have to do more of this with bombs like "Drag me to Hell" out there. What complete trash that was.

Maybe she'll follow Lindsay Lohan and bare it all for Playboy. That would probably actually disappoint me. I like this girl here. Now that Lohan is taking the plunge, how long before Britney Spears takes it all off? You think she'd go Hustler or Penthouse?

Now there's a classic! But tell me, what John Candy flik isn't? What a damn shame that was, but its what happens when you eat bad meat in Mexico. How do you not see that coming? The only thing more tragic to me was Michael J. Fox and his Parkinson's. Two guys who brought something great to everything they touched.

Talk about great ways to be touched. Hugh Hefner is the man. I caught the Showtime special on him last night and you really should see it. That man has done so much more than put naked 20 year old girls in magazines. He's touched your life in so many ways that you don't even know about, civil liberty sort of ways, that its just insane.

That there is Route 66 in New Mexico in the winter. Most people don't realize how cold it gets. This morning, for whatever reason, I was caught with the feeling I had one morning while moving back to NY from Vegas while pumping gas out there. I had my two little dogs, my ferret and my snake all piled into the car hauling a trailor behind me for three thousand miles. I looked out over a site very much like this one, only a lot more snow. This morning I had the same feeling that I did that day.

The next morning in Amarillo Texas is was so cold that the handle for the shower broke off in my hand and the faucet couldn't be turned off. The water just kept pouring out. I put the broken handle down on the counter when I checked out and kept it moving.

I was listening to Steve G. Jones again yesterday, and this guy is great, really knows his stuff, and it hit me that.... I really know my stuff too. And that's no joke. There are a few things that I really know well. All the important material to be a good Life Coach, I know it really well. Writing... I know that really well too. But one of the things that Jones said, and this is very true, is that the more relaxed you are the better you're going to be in everything you do. The good stuff just flows naturally. Yet I noticed it the other night playing darts... I get nervous for no good reason and it destroys my chances at being good. And somehow I'm that way in everything, playing ball, meeting chicks, telling people about my books, trying to get interviews for this blog, whatever.

Everything except.... Life Coaching.

And I know this is all still residual effects from the ex girlfriend taking off and pulling the rug out from under me. It often feels like there's no steady ground to stand on, even in the things that you know you do well. Its not that I haven't moved passed that event, I long since have. Its that I have yet to have, in all this time since, positive successful results to replace that negative association. So even with all I've done it feels as if nothing will ever work out.... because it hasn't yet, no matter what I do.

The right woman (or man for a chick), lets just say the right partner, is SO damn important to that. Its the single most important factor in your life. Of course the wrong one.... well, the wrong one will have you still getting nervous in almost everything you do even years later...

I dated a stripper in Vegas for a while after the event. This was the exact pose she was in when we introduced ourselves to one another. Yeah... that was a strange time in my life. And that didn't go the way I wanted either. But with strippers... does it ever really?

And here's the funny thing about those positive successful results and why its imperative to have passion for what you're doing in order to reach them.... they come slowly. This blog is perfect example of that. Right now I don't make money or gain much recognition from it, not even from the people closest to me. The numbers are trickle in.... yet yesterday alone I had articles read in Poland, Croatia, Russia, Moldova, Ghana, Italy, Great Britain, Egypt and Australia. And that's not counting all the many, many other nations across the globe where my voice has been heard. From the number too, I can also tell that these readers are passing them along to their friends. How many people out there actually have global influence like that? Not many.

No matter what your measure, how is that not great success?

Eh, but whatever. There were some things I had wanted to talk about, but I'm really just babbling right now. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore....

I'm feeling like this chick right here, but I warned you about that, so the rest will have to wait for tomorrow, unless I come up with something better to talk about. Hell, I've been waiting for something better to talk about since I started this, and that hasn't happened yet either, so don't hold your breath.

But then, there I go again, not giving myself enough credit. How many of you do that to yourselves too?

Enough of this.

D'OH... Raging Against the Machine and why it'll never work!

Have you ever said or done something because you were so angry that you couldn't help but pour it out, only to wish that you could take it back later on because of the damage that you did with your actions? You caught yourself in that Homer Simpson moment. Of course you have, we all have.

But what about those deeper levels? Have you ever found that you said or did things thinking that you were completely clear of mind while taking action, that you were fully in the right and just telling it how it is, explaining what's REALLY going on out there.... only to realize later on that anger and resentment run so deeply in the core of who you are that it oozes out of the marrow of your bones, flowing like red blood cells, and that THAT is really where your message had come from, not that place of tranquility?

We don't all start off at the same level, no matter how nice a fairy tale that may be. Some of us were lucky enough to be born into a family that had money, connections, a clear path for you to have all you wanted in life. Some of us had parents who are crack heads and its a miracle you didn't turn out to be one yourself. Some of us are beautiful with model good looks, or born with supreme talent, and the doors of opportunity blast off their hinges at your very approach, while others... fat, ugly, stupid, talentless, useless, sickly, what have you. That's just the way that it is. That's life!

When we're kids we're judged and categorized by these things, the popular crowd, the freaks and geeks, whatever you want to call it. And we like to believe that when you get older, as adults, that this stops being the case. How many movies out there are about both of these things? Unfortunately, that's just not the truth. As you get older, life remains the same old high school popularity contest (if anything, its worse!), played by the same exact rules, and your success in life depends directly on how well you play that game.

Last night I wrote a letter to a friend of mine who is one of the beautiful people, part of the club, explaining that I know I have a certain amount of talent, but none of that matters unless I can find a way to make people believe that I can make THEM better, make THEIR lives better, help get THEM to where THEY want to go. And this is true of all of us, its the essence of what that high school popularity contest is all about.

She could have easily helped me along, as I've seen her do with countless other people before, just with a word or two, "Hey, read this guy, he can write", but she never has, not once. The reason is because I don't fit the image she's trying to project. Helping me won't advance her career or her causes, so not only hasn't she helped, but she's actually gone back and deleted things I've sent her, erasing all outward knowledge of my work with her people.

Isn't that just like the kid who helped you with your math homework in school, but you ignored in the halls when you were with your friends? Well, we know that its because of value, and we always chase after HIGHER value, and run away from lower value, as away as we can get.

The thing of it is that most people don't even know that they're doing it, its not a conscious choice, its a natural human behavior. This is the game, its how its played, and I only know the difference because, like many of you, I've spent most of my life on the outside looking in. If my life were easy breezy, if all the doors were open for me, then I'd be caught up in the machine as well, oblivious to what was going on here.

Instead, because the system has always worked against me, I too Rage Against the Machine.

Trouble is... I've been raging against it so long that that anger has set in real deep, so deep I didn't even know it was there, and it comes out in terrible ways, as that chip on my shoulder, that nervousness I spoke about yesterday that keeps me from performing up to my capabilities. And I know a lot of you, a lot of very intelligent, very talented people, who suffer from the very same malady. I see it everyday, see it in your comments, see it in your attitude, see it in your facebook posts, and in your pain. And it holds you back. It holds me back, holds us ALL back.

You see... there IS another level, that place of peak performance that you only come to when you're free and easy, confident, and all of that anger, resentment and negative energy only keeps you from getting there. Its like snake venom, coursing through you, killing you. I haven't even begun to scratch the surface in what I can do, as a writer, as an athlete, in the ways that I can help people.... and while I knew this, I didn't see what it was that kept me from accessing that better part of myself.

The real difference between those people that have had the doors open for them, however or for what ever reasons it was done, and the rest of us continually hurling ourselves against the jagged rocks in the seas of life, is that they're able to keep their eyes completely on the prize and use all of their focus and energy towards that goal, where as the frustrated folks like me have one eye on the goal and the other on all the many things we have to fight to get there. We have one hand reaching for that star, and the other clenched in a fist swinging away at all that approaches.

How much energy does that take from you? How much does it sap your strength? How much does it steal from your focus? How much harder will that force you to have to work, and how much more tired will you be from that?

Open doors allow people to reset themselves, get back to zero that much more quickly. Fighting all the time leaves you in a state where you're constantly fighting, until you reach the point that its all you know, and you forget exactly what it is that you're fighting for. Then without a fight, you don't know what to do with yourself, you have nothing left. Often, this is where I find myself. Do you?

That's like being a beaten woman, trapped in an abusive relationship with yourself.

My friend probably took what I said as a personal attack, as me saying that she's messed up and wrong for doing the same exact thing that everyone else does. That has me upset, because she really is great and I really do love her. She's not the only one, that's just how the game is played, it just makes her like everyone else.

That's not her failing; its mine. Its like I'm trying to play chess in checkers tournament and getting pissed off that I got eliminated.

Just like anyone else in any other walk of life, from here on out any success that I have in any area moving forward relies directly on how much you, and everyone else, believes that I can make their lives better. Whether that's by motivating you, inspiring you, giving you an idea or making you see things in a way you never did before, if that's helping you make a new connection, spreading the word for your product, or just simply entertaining you (you can't put a price on a good time), how much people believe that I can help THEM do these things will dictate how far I go. The same goes for you in all that you do.

But how can anyone hope to do that if they're so full of piss and wind that they're pissing in their own face, blinding themselves in the process? How can they do that when they're so full of venom that we sap ourselves of all the energy and forces within us that allow us to fire on all cylinders?

We may not all start at the same spot, but it IS our responsibility to reset ourselves back to zero, find that focus we need, and if the doors won't open for us, if we can't find the people to open them, then to blast the off of their hinges ourselves, no matter what circumstances we come from. It just that much harder when you start the race at the back of the pack, forced to jump the hurdles while others run in a clear lane. But the spectators aren't watching for who's running in which lane, only who wins the race.

For myself, I'll never be able to blast those doors open until I'm able to release all of that anger and frustration that keeps from from reaching my peak performance. But unless I find the people who able, AND WILLING, to make ME better, make MY life better, help get ME to where I want to go, whether that's by motivating me, inspiring me, giving me an idea or making me see things in a way I never did before, if that's helping me make a new connection, spreading the word for my products, or just simply entertaining me, helping me relax and have a good time.... then I'll never be able to release all of that anger and frustration that keeps me from reaching my peak performance.

Its a Catch 22 situation. How many of you are there?

That's EXACTLY why your support system is damn important. Why finding the right woman (or man) to share your life with is SO important (instant support system), and why most people that are highly successful become so after marrying that right person. This means the right friends too. Of course, its so hard to find them while you're in that situation above, so you're back in that Catch 22.

But, ask the right questions and you'll get the right answers... so I'll ask you this...

HOW THE FU... DO YOU GET OUT OF IT?!

Occupy Wall Street, our soldiers coming home and why our society crumbling is YOUR fault!

Yesterday afternoon I caught parts of a radio show after Opie and Anthony on satellite that had soldiers coming home on discussing how difficult its been for them to come back to society after being at war in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Aside from the obvious, killing people and then having to adjust to sitting in a cubicle or kissing YOUR ass at Best Buy, they told stories of women with kids of their own back home driving in convoys that had to run kids down so that the pieces were mopped off the road with a sponge in order to avoid ambushes. They had men come on and discuss the goo where their buddies face was just a moment before and how they just can't explain that to anyone, and how these people wake up screaming in the middle of the night, and will probably never get out of therapy.

Every 80 minutes a veteran tries to kill themselves.

There are a lot of factors that lead to this. Though it may not be as bad as it was after Vietnam when hippies would spit on soldiers and call them baby killers, in one vets words, the happy homecoming and cheers last for about fifteen minutes, then its business as usual. Thanks for serving, now what are you going to do for me?

Then a quick look around at how Republicans and Democrats bicker and fight, push agendas and take kick backs, screw the people and get nothing done, our soldiers wonder what the hell it was that they were fighting for in the first place.

But there was something that really stuck with me, something that I'd spoken about before in this space, and probably the biggest issue that I have in trying to get people to understand me and why I sometimes do the things that I do.

One of the soldiers explained that, when you were over there it didn't matter how horrible things were because no matter how bad things got, there was somebody right next to you going through the same exact thing you were. Your buddies over there understood exactly what you were going through, exactly what you were feeling, because they were seeing things the same way you were. But when they come back home, in our society, there's nothing like that. People don't understand where you've been, what you're doing, going through or why..... and they don't care to try.

You'll often hear stories of championship sports teams that have a special locker room, that all come together as one, and years later they continue to share that bond with those guys from that locker room. That right there is the true meaning of TEAM, to sacrifice for a larger whole, and everyone seeing things that same way.

Why do young kids join gangs? They do it because where ever they are in life or the world, none of their options are very good. So they choose to align themselves with people that have experienced the same things that they have, gone through the same struggles. Whatever you want to say about the horrors of gang life, what these people are signing up for is a place where they belong, a place where they're understood, feel important. No matter how broke you are or bad you have it that gang has your back. They're all seeing things the same way.

These are all extreme cases and rare though. They're sects outside of normal daily life that society doesn't want to understand. More often we're comparing ourselves to one another, in competition. You have to keep up with the Joneses, and if you can't somehow you're less. Its about the biggest house, the bigger paycheck, the best toys, the hottest wife, the powerful husband.

Soldiers know all about sacrificing themselves for a bigger purpose, they know all about team. But how do you look out for each other, pick each other up, come together as one when you're always bragging, backstabbing, belittling or ignoring one another? How do you act as one while you're always trying to set yourself above, jockeying for position as the alpha male or female in the pack?

In Sociology we judge societies on the quality of life for all people in that society. A good society is that way because of how they treat the least of amongst their people. Here, however, its all about more, more, more. We're judged on having, not what we did to get it. And if you don't have, then you're nothing, so people will do whatever they have to do to get it. Once again, value, and we're always looking to value up.

We don't act like a good society, we act like a bunch of wild dogs. And then we wonder why our government, our entire system is corrupt. More, more, more!

If you say I'm wrong, I say you're kidding yourself. If you say you don't do that (you may not, there are good people out there), I say look at who you hang with, what you do and who you're trying bring into your life. And if you tell me that I'm just bitter and angry because I'm a have not, I say you're DAMN RIGHT!!!

What Occupy Wall Street has become

And make no mistake, the entire system is corrupt. The Occupy Wall Street people may have a good reason behind what they started, but nothing is ever going to be changed by what they're doing. While the movement has degenerated to bums, slobs and drug dealers sleeping and pissing in parks disturbing average citizens, they continue to feed very same Alpha More Powerhungry's that corrupt the system in the first place.

And quess what.... if its not them, it would be someone else. And if they give you a chance for more, more, more, it would probably be you. Our society is screwed, rotted from within, and the only fix is a complete overhaul.

That's a foot!

But the Occupy Wall Street people DO have one thing right, the change IS up to each of us as individuals. "Be the change you want in the world" and all that mess. Unfortunately that change has to come in how we treat each other, and we treat each other like SHIT! Societies are judged by how they treat the least of their people, we're trained to look down on and ignore them.

Societies are built and re-built by coming together and learning how to see things the same way, then sacrificing for the greater good. That will never happen here, there will never be real change, and we'll continue down this toilet because very few people have the ability to see beyond how everything affects THEM! And everything we see and do, everyone we surround ourselves with, have trained us to be that way our whole lives.

If you don't think so you're naive. Your head is in the sand. You ARE kidding yourself. What we have on our hands here is a battle of conscience, and we're getting our asses kicked. Our world is rotting because of the one question you all ask of EVERYONE before you do ANYTHING for THEM......

"What's in it for me?"

Can Peacocks fly with broken wings? I'm talkin broken arms and broken legs....

I don't know, but we're about to find out.

After all the seriousness in last weeks posts I wanted to do something fun today, but then I went and Matsuied myself, broke my wrist. Typing with one hand is as much a pain in the ass as most other things with one hand, like opening a door while holding my coffee, so we'll have to see how this goes.

That's Hideki Matsui, he was without a doubt my favorite Yankee, hell, favorite ballplayer, after Paul O'Neil retired. The guy just knew how to play the game, did everything right, great teammate, and talk about CLUTCH.... but he was never the same again after this play. That was a nasty one, and what I did to myself was very similar.

I don't think I made nearly as big a deal about it as Albert Pujols here, thought I took it better, but the guys will have to tell you if that's true or not. I knew it was broken right away, and my buddy Dave said he could hear it snap. Its completely possible that I was crying like a little girl that just lost her candy. After all, I am a notorious whiner.

This is basically what my arm looked like. Do you see how the hand is pushed off of the wrist, as if the only thing keeping it attached is the skin and ligaments? I had the same exact thing, except for me the appendage was the other way, the hand was on the back side of the arm, hanging off.

You see her pointing to that mangled mess? She's a trooper! This was more the position I was in. Behind the arm. Looks like she's got something breaking the skin though, sticking out. Mine was a clean break, and thank God for it. Have you ever been in so much pain that all you could do was laugh? That laugh of the insane, the one that only crazy people have. Well... I had everyone at the hospital cracking up. And don't you love how, in a spot about maimed body parts I'm able to get you a nice rack thrown in there?

You know you wanted half naked ladies thrown in there, so here you g... what? These aren't the half naked ladies you were looking for? I don't get it, looks like a party to me. This came up in my Google search for broken wrists. I keep telling you about the craziness that pops up on there. I think they meant to post this under slit wrists, as in what you're going to do after seeing this shot. I have one of those too, slit wrist. Its the same damn arm.

Here you go, this is more fitting, isn't it? This was another one that came up in that same search. That probably comes from all us sad sacks that know these ladies are out there, that they ARE all partying together.... that they're all dressed just like this... and we're never invited to the party. We get the ladies up top instead. The difference is enough to make a guy do something drastic, isn't it? My only real question is.... it says "pink" over an over again.... exactly what is it that they're advertising?

We'll dedicate more time to the ladies tomorrow. I got to check out my X-Rays... and this is essentially what I had going on in there. You see that back forearm bone broken off.... yeah, that's it. Jamaica Hospital has gotten a really bad rep over the years, but I have to say, every single person working there was GREAT! I hate hospitals, and they made me feel as comfortable as possible, even got me a great shot of my X-Ray. I'll throw that bad boy up as soon as I'm able.

And at least there's nothing like this going on in there. How completely disgusting is this? When the Doc tells you that you're going to need pins in your wrist you're not supposed to put them in there yourself you dumbass!

Do you honestly believe that this woman is worried about ANYTHING knowing that a friend like this has her back? HELL NO she doesn't! And neither should this Peacock. After they scraped me off the field my teammates really picked me up; they went all out like a pack of rabid animals and kicked that teams brains in. We're talking championship here baby, me Matsuied or not. And Topper is coming through to make sure you good people still get to read my blog day in and day out while I recover, because this typing with one hand nonsense is beat.

But I've got to get back out there as soon as I can, and I can't think of any better way to speed up the healing process than a female Peacock to come share my roost. I wonder if she's available. I'd find a way to fly after her broken wing or not. Let's make it so! I'm wounded here, I need some looking after, and this is only fair. After all.... I deserve it don't I?

But that's all I've got for today. And the drugs are wearing off... so....

Smokin Joe Frazier, 2011 Playboy Playmates, the beauty of women and leaving it all on the field!

Helping me out with today's post is going to be Playboy's class of 2011, their Playmates of each month, which I have my reasons for and I'll explain all about that later, but first I wanted to get into the passing of a legend and something personal, which I'm writing today to one on my readers in particular. (You'll know who you are)

Smokin Joe Frazier died last night. Here's a great article about him from ESPN's Wallace Matthews which I want you to read, and I won't re-hash, but its a sad day for fight fans. I grew up a fan of Muhammad Ali (though I never saw him fight live) not only because he had the ability to say whatever he wanted and back it up, but also because every time he lost he got back in there and won the belt back. Whenever someone hides behind the 1st Amendment saying they can say whatever they want, I've long said that you can say whatever you like as long as you can take the punch in the face that comes with it. Ali could. And as the saying goes, the greatness of men lies not in never falling, but in rising each time they fall. In my eyes, that's what made Ali the Greatest.

But just like any great story, the hero is only as great as his villain, and a champion is only as great as his rival. "The Fight", in which Frazier beat Ali to retain the Heavyweight title is probably the single greatest sporting event of all time. Here were two men, the best in the world at what they do, literally putting every ounce of everything they had into this bout. After the fight Frazier spent a month in the hospital and almost died as a result, and he would have if that's what it took to win. The world just doesn't see that anymore.

Miss January Anna Sophia Berglund

Make sure you understand that I'm not calling Frazier the villain here, but that defining rival. When you watch the highlights of his fights what stands out is that he always seemed to be a head shorter than his opponent, he always had less reach, too small to compete at that level... but he kept coming.... and coming.... and coming...

Miss February Kylie Johnson

And this is how it connects to me personally. Now, I'm not trying to put myself on the level of Frazier/Ali, that's just ridiculous; I'm a weekend warrior at best. But all my life all I ever wanted to do was play ball. Most of the time its still all I want to do, I only write because its how I express myself, its who I am. Growing up though, I was a halfling. When I graduated High School I was 5 feet tall and just over a hundred pounds. I was always too small to compete, so if I wanted to stay in the game I had to keep coming.... and coming... and coming....

Miss March Ashley Mattingly

After high school I shot up, but I still have that same mentality, like the little guy, and I guess because of it to this day I'm either all in, balls to the wall, leaving everything (including body parts) on the field, or I just simply couldn't care less and don't even bother. I've hurt myself so many times in so many ways over the years that I can't even begin to tell you. Once I played football with a hole in my head the size of a quarter. I ripped my nostril almost completely off playing handball. That nose is broken in a million places from all the fights I've gotten into to the point that I only breathe out of one side of it. Right now I'm pretty sure my right shoulder is separated and my right foot is dislocated, and they're definitely not the way they're supposed to be, but finding out would mean I can't play ball, and fuck that! So I suck it up and deal with the pain, and keep coming... and coming.... and coming...

Miss April Jaclyn Swedberg

This injury of mine isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but despite all of the ways I've mangled myself in the past, its the first time in my life I can't just deal with the pain and get back on the field. I have to come out of the game and fully heal. I can't just barrel through and keep coming.

Miss May Sasha Bonilova

And as I thought about it, I've lived my entire life the same way. Emotionally, I've never taken myself out of the game whenever life threw me a beating, and there have been a great many, to let myself recover. I've never let myself heal before getting out there, I just wrapped up whatever it was that was giving me pain and kept going. And just like now, when there's no new game to try to win, nothing out there to go after I don't know what to do with myself.

Miss June Mei-Ling Lam

Trouble is.... you can't go all out, give it 100%, leave it all on the field, when you're wracked with pain, constantly dealing with all of the injuries of your past in the game you're playing today. You can't be the best version of yourself if you're never all there. You can't give it everything you've got in today's battle when you're still fighting all of your old fights at the same time.

Miss July Jessa Hinton

Now... I'm just starting off as a Life Coach, but it seems that every single person that I've ever helped, regardless of what the outlying challenge seemed to be, has boiled down to some variation of this very same thing. Most of us never really let ourselves heal completely from our emotional wounds, however we got the injury, and then we go back out there without the ability to give it our all and not understanding why.

Miss August Iryna Ivanova

That, my friends, is what keeps most of us from our true greatness.

Well, I NEED to give it my all. I am so ready to give it 100%, leave it all out on the field. I don't need to be great, only fools wish to be great, but MAN do I want to DO something great, be a part of something great. I wonder if you can help me with that.

Miss September Tiffany Toth

My broken wing sucks, but not because its some great tragedy, so many people have to deal with far worse on a permanent basis. Its the little things we take for granted every day like tying your shoes and sleeping in our own bed that makes me feel it, but its also given me a gift. In the span of a lifetime, broken bones are just a small amount of pain. Compared living a lifetime of emotional pain, never going for what you really want, 6 weeks is nothing. In truth, the pain is over with quickly, and never really as bad as we fear its going to be. There is nothing in the world to be afraid of. Not really.

Miss October Amanda Cerny

So be like Smokin Joe Frazier, and go for it all the way, even if it kills you. Its across that threshold where your true greatness lies. Be like Ali, and rise each time you fall. Honestly, what's the alternative? Its nothing you want.

Miss November Ciara Price

And as my friend who I'm writing this to believes of me.... I WILL make the most of this situation. I'll be using the time to release all expectations of what's going to happen next, because I have no control of it right now; to learn how to ask for help, because I can't do it alone, and none of us really can, and as Charles Haanel teaches in The Master Key System, to learn how to sit in a quiet room by myself and be completely unaffected by anything that's going on around me.

Miss December Rainy Day Jordan

Now, there's a reason why I chose to use the 2011 Playboy Bunnies for this piece. Last week one of my biggest supporters told me that they refuse to read my blog anymore because they have no desire to have half naked women thrown in their face. It really upset me to the point where I had to ask many other people if the agreed with that sentiment. Amazingly, men an women alike almost unaminously told me to keeps the pictures in. Men and women alike love beautiful women. And what's not to love? The only thing about women I hate is the attitude they get when they know they look this good, when they use these looks to take advantage of people or "get the highest bidder", or when they're stupid or naive enough to think these features don't open doors for them and that they do it all on their own.

But I specifically chose Playboy because it has been always been about celebrating women and not classless, tasteless porn. None of these women are famous, but because of these pictures they're given great opportunities to live their dreams. And the shots are used as a way to attract people like you and me to some of the best writing, comedy and entertainment around. Maxim and Stuff follow a similar formula, and its a formula that works, a model for all of the things I want to bring you; Great entertainment all around and an avenue for new artists to make a name for themselves!

In the future I'd prefer to have new models in this space, for that I'm just waiting on you!

Joe Paterno, Child Molesters and why we need a hero!

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" - Edmund Burke

As of this writing, Joe Paterno is expected to announce his retirement, forced out by the scandalous news that his former Defensive Coordinator, Jerry Sandusky, was a kid toucher, molesting little boys, and while Paterno went directly to his boss upon learning of it, allowed it to be swept under the rug.

This was a man, loved, respected, admired, for being an example of all that is right in the world, a beacon, a guide showing us that through the years what was once great can still be great. Someone who stood for doing it right. And now, like so many before him, that legacy is now forever destroyed. Its been raped like the children he chose not to stand up for, pillaged, like the soul of all of us who believe in something better, and the people who symbolize that ideal.

Its been a long time now since Charles Barkley famously stated "I'm not a role model". That message was always misconstrued, he meant that its the responsibility of parents to be role models for their own children, something he was dead on about, and has only become an epidemic in our world, the shirking of that most important job description. But he was wrong also, so wrong, because its the responsibility of us all to try to be and show the best of ourselves, give those younger who look to us for guidance a positive image to live up to. And our stars, our icons, are the very ones that are supposed to be leading that charge.

Since that time our leaders have betrayed us, showing us all how completely corrupt our entire system, our way of life, truly is, and how very little they care about their own people so long as their pockets are lined.

The people we are supposed to look up to have been exposed as frauds, lying and cheating and swindling every one on their way to the top.

Showing their true colors, that like Hilary Swank with ruthless dictators, these people are little more than mercenaries, taking the money and running off to the next party satisfied with their own greatness while looking down on the people who believed in them, who needed them.

What was it that LeBron said.... in the morning he'll still be rich, but the rest of us will have to wake up and go back to our miserable lives? I'm paraphrasing, but this was the message Lebron had for all of us. That's what it means these days to be great.

The other day someone who should know better yelled at me for things I've said, having this to say:

"Yes, Steve Jobs was a dick, but he changed a lot of things, created jobs and technology that's being put to use in hospitals and to help aid in third world countries. He was openly an ass, never faked anything but. Can't fault him for that."

So its ok to be a total prick, ruin the lives of these people over here, so long as you admit you're an ass, invent some gadgets, and throw some of your money at the problems of those people over there.

The very fact that this person finds this acceptable highlights so much of what's wrong with us today, doesn't it? The fact that they don't see how asinine that really is shows how disillusioned we've become.

And when we were promised change, filled with the hope for a return to better days, nothing was done, and the only thing to change is that we no longer believe that there's anything to hope for. The future looks as bleak and as doomed as it ever has. The morale of the nation, of the world, and the people has never been lower. I've never felt so much despair from so many people and like most of you out there, I don't know if things will ever get better. There's no image to make me believe that it will.

There was once a time when we did everything that we could to protect that saintly image of our heroes, no matter how many or how gruesome the skeletons in their closet were. Sure, part of that was because you weren't going to get the story if you ripped into guys back then, but part of it was because we better understood the sanctity of that thing to aspire to, that greatness in all of us we could all reach if only we had someone to show us the way.

And now the world has become so cynical, so nasty and cruel, that even when we find a true winner, a good man, a man of heart, of soul, of conscious, that uses all of what's in them and every effort to do it right, just for the sake of doing it the right way, we do everything we can to tear them down and rip them apart in every way.

It makes me sick. But what's worse, it makes all of us sick, in our souls, in ways we can't see.

I was 18 years old in 1995 when the Yankees were eliminated from the playoffs, and that night I bawled my eyes out, cried like a baby, because Don Mattingly was never going to win it all. I'm a grown ass man, and to this day whenever I see pictures of Donnie Baseball tears fill my eyes, and a smile crosses my face. He was an example of every way you play the game right. I wanted to be him. I love him. He's my hero.

Now more than ever, we as a people need someone to bridge the gap between one era of greatness to the next, someone to make us believe again, have hope, when there's nothing else to cheer for.

We need a Dragon Slayer, a champion, someone who sees the road ahead, knows what has to be done, and is willing to take the weight of the world on their shoulders, to put us on their shoulders, and lead us to the promised land.

We need someone who understands that we're more than just the sum of our parts, that is able to look passed our differences, look passed what separates us, always finds the beauty in us whether we're black, white, yellow, blue, purple or green, whether we have pointy ears or hairy feet

Someone who doesn't believe in unbeatable scenarios, and is always able to find ways to accentuate our strengths rather than bash our weaknesses, and brings us together, rallies us behind them to use those strengths in synergy to get the job done. Someone who makes us better than we could be by ourselves.

What we need now more than anything else, more than ever, is a miracle. Something to makes us believe again, to believe in each other, to believe in ourselves.

But this is hard to come by, because integrity is so hard to come by. Because sometimes it requires making the ultimate sacrifice, giving everything, your very life if need be, to stand up to the slings and arrows, to hold on to what you believe.

And that's a lonely road very few want, or are willing, to walk.

Yet still, we need a rallying cry, someone to rise up an galvanize the people into action now for a better tomorrow, no matter the cost.

"But Cap, you'll DIE!"

"I know... AVENGERS.... ASSEMBLE!"

But then.... my heroes have always been Captains.

Joe Paterno - The Alternate Scooby Doo ending!

Alright, I'm in an unusual amount of pain today and mentally just completely out of it, having a hard time pulling it together, so this will be quick today, but like a virgin with a complex, I just want to get it in there, so here we go....

We all know how guys talk to each other, right? Especially in that locker room type setting. Imagine its 1984, way back then before it was acceptable for homosexuals to come out of the closet, before the Rodney King beating pulled Political Correctness to the forefront of, well, everything, even ahead of truth and honesty, when the most insulting thing a man could call another man was.... FAG!

So guys break each others balls constantly, its how we say "I love you, Man!", and they sit down for a meeting in front Joe...

"Jerry, you child molester!"
Jerry looks over with an odd glint in his eye... "heh, FAG!"
"Alright you two" Joe Paterno says, "every day with this fag and child molester stuff, cut the crap, we've got Ohio State this week..... "

Its just guys being guys, right. Same nonsense, just horsing around.

Then an assistant somewhere comes up to Joe Paterno and says to him....
"hey Joe, there are rumors going around that Jerry's touching little boys"

Paterno thinks nothing of it, he here's this crap every damn day, those idiots busting on each other. Its just jock talk, making light of things, having a good time. But, just because he HAS to, Paterno brings it to HIS boss, his athletic director who tells him...."

"Joe, you and I know its just guys being guys.... hard to take that sort of thing out of a team setting, sort of clowning around that brings us together.... but better tell them to cut the crap anyway just in case, don't want there to be trouble over nothing...."

So they take care of it and that's it, lets concentrate on football.

Except 27 years later it comes out that Jerry Sandusky really WAS molesting little boys. The assistant that heard the rumors comes out and says "I told Joe, he went to the athletic director with it and it went nowhere from there".

Now Paterno, old as hell and half in the bag already, has no idea what the hell is going on. He's getting crucified over this craziness, and all he can do is stand around with that stupid look on his face thinking WTF? What just happened?

And if you know people, certainly if you know guys, and you know how things go out there in the every day, this easily sounds just as plausible a scenario as any other. How crazy would it be to piss all over the legacy of one of the real good guys if this is how it went down?

My point today is... until we know, we don't know.

Some 12 hours before the show "Crimes Against Nature" hit my screen, an just before seeing "Fatal Honeymoons", two real attention grabbers, I caught some show about the 10 greatest Hollywood news stories, scandals, what have you... EVER!

And they got into our friend, our pal, every one's favorite sideline reporter.... you know his as Nordberg, you love him...... you guessed it, I'm talking about O.J. Simpson!

Taking a look at this story the way we did with Joe Pa.... imagine O.J. really DIDN'T do it? Imagine the juice was telling the truth, really was away, and Nicole Simpson was the victim of a drug deal gone wrong. That sort of thing happens every single day.

Now O.J. is caught in a bad way. His wife was just murdered by drug dealers, his kids were there, he's distraught, but once the world finds out he's a raging drug addict, his clean cut reputation, everything he's worked so hard for, everything we all love about him.... GONE!

So he flips out, gets in his car and drives to clear his head.... but he cops think he's running.

After all of this a once solid life spirals out of control, he becomes the very thing we all accused him of being.... yeah, this happens too. Think about that for a minute.

I was saw O.J.'s lawyer Johnny Cochran on a Manhattan street going to play pool one night... he was wearing a fur coat, flanked by a group of some of the hottest women I've ever seen, four to each side of him.... if it don't fit, you must.... he's dead now, but did that guy know how to party or what?

Speaking about white women getting nailed by black running backs out of USC, that same show had a spot about Kim Kardashian on it, portraying her as a sweet woman always looking to make everyone happy..... she may very well be. I refuse to watch her show, really know nothing about her, which brings me to the point I wanted to make today....

Communication is everything, and I rarely get the message I want to send the way that I want to, so I wanted to clear something up.... often you'll hear me ripping into people, celebrities, for the messed up things that they do. Well, I'm not perfect either, I'm a total disaster, doing all kinds of messed up things myself. Even with my piece yesterday which spoke of how we need a hero, I don't know that I personally could live up to that standard myself, which only serves to highlight the difficulty of the situation.

Jessica Simpson

People are people, prone to the same mess, no matter what situations or walk of life they're coming from. So my point isn't to bash people like Kim Kardashian or Snooki, or anyone else for that matter. I really don't care what the do as long as they don't make my life more difficult. Beyond that, people in glass houses.... you know?

Wait, that aint Snooki... Thank God!

What I'm really railing against are the reasons we put the people that we do up on those lofty pedestals, and trying to point out why it leads us astray so far as I can see it.

Hey, do what you got to do, if it makes you feel good do it, all of that. Have a good time, its what we're here for. I'm all for all of that, looking for all the ways I can do that for myself.

Just don't do it on the backs of others. We have a long way to go before we can all be dancing in the streets.

Anyway, I'm on all kinds of drugs right now... and they're really kicking my ass, I don't even know what I'm saying, so I'm out... for now.

Universal Health Care Coverage... is it about time?

What a long strange weekend its been...

There's a lot to discuss, but I'm walking into a lot of changes today. For one, I ran out of Percocet, just Tylenol extra strength for me, which is both great and terrible. This Monday found me losing my private office, so I'm out in general population, also a good and bad thing. Finally, it seems as if Facebook is now blocked at my job. If they had made that move 6 months ago things would be very different right now, in a good way.

We'll have to see how these changes affect the blog and what I do here.... only time will tell....

I'm ill prepared this morning, all of this stuff has me out of my element. I didn't have the pictures I took from Tough Mudder ready to go, so I'll be switching gears, your guess as to where that brings us is as good as mine, but you need this some times.

Last Friday afternoon I spent 6 hours at the orthopedic clinic at Jamaica Hospital just so they could shoot an X-Ray, tell me "hey, it looks good" and send me on my way. In all it was six hours of waiting for a 10 minute visit.

This is what you deal with when you have no insurance, no, not the two girls on the same bed, I'm not that lucky, and these aren't the girls that I would have found at this particular hospital anyway.... it would have been more like this....

Yeah... it'll be weeks before I can wrap my arms around my baby.....

Waiting around that long completely sucks, especially when you're surrounded by the dregs of society, but much like taking the bus... anywhere... you know that this is what you're in for walking into the situation. And the alternative, having no way to have your health looked after, well that's no alternative at all, is it?

This is all one family. Everyone of them was seen for their check ups that day. I was stuck in line behind them.

We hear it all the time that in Canada, which has universal health care for all of their people, you have to wait around all day like this to be taken care of, as if this is a great reason for not having the same sort of system here. Except that people here in the U.S. are already waiting around the same exact way every day. And it cost me $120 for that privelege. What would have happened if I didn't have that $120, as so many people don't , especially now is this economy..... Hit The Bricks Pal! You're out!

No, there wasn't anyone getting shots in the ass right out there in front of everyone, though there were two ladies I wouldn't have complained about seeing if they did. That would have gathered a crowd too, maybe gotten me into the Doc quicker. But its never the ones that look like this below that happens with anyway....

On the bright side though, that just gave me the best search key words EVER! I'll buy that for $120!

One thing that this experience has taught me for sure is that when there is something wrong with you, when your health is compromised, all of your other worries and concerns go right out the window. And when you have to be concerned about how you're going to take care of yourself or your loved ones, then there's just no way you can be focused on the things you need to get done and be a productive member of society.

On the flip side, its incredible how much stress and anxiety is relieved from a person once they know that they're being taken care of and everything is going to be alright. Its as if the weight of the world, matters that are literally life and death, are lifted off your shoulders...

This up above is what happens when you don't have that safety net. You end up floating face down in a river.

There is absolutely no way that in this country, in this day and age, that any citizen should be turned away from medical treatment over a matter of money. There's no way that any American should have to float down that river of death because they didn't have an extra $120. That's some people's food money for an entire month.

If I had to pay a 5% Federal Health Care Tax out of my paycheck every week for the peace of mind of knowing that I'd be taken care of no matter what, even if that meant waiting all day until the doctor could get me in, but wouldn't cost me anything afterwards, then I'd sign up for that right now, and so would most other people.

And then Health Insurance afterwards would allow you to choose your doctor and not have to wait for hours if you can afford it. If not, you'll still be fine, it just won't be as convenient. But if I'm paying extra I want to be in the river with Brookyn Decker in it.

This is a big, important, topic of discussion, and this is just a start of it, though its all I've got for today.

I want your opinions and ideas on the matter.

Hindsight is always 20/20... Jerry Sandusky, Occupy Wall Street and Common Sense!

"In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have showered with those kids" - Jerry Sandusky

How great is that? Once again, proving that hindsight is 20/20. What do you suppose was his first clue that that was a bad idea? Let's not knock him too much, he was only horsing around with those boys, and every one of us have been in that spot, looking back, realizing what we just did probably wasn't the best idea in the world....

There it is, that "Duh" moment. I don't know why, but I love this picture. It cracks me up, probably because I've been there before, usually once a day, just about the time I get my first comment about this blog.... or maybe its just that look on his face....

Luckily for me I stop short just of kid touching when it hits me, "that was definitely NOT great!"

That's right pal, those WERE the droids you were looking for. Think of all the lives you could have saved, the fate of an entire Empire.... and now we're at the mercy of Rebel Scum.... and its all on you there buddy... you F'ed up!

Not to point out the obvious here, I mean, the caption to the picture explains why all of these guys are grabbing their own junk, but why does the black guy have his meat hook on someone else's unit? Its not as if he needed anything else to make him stand out here, but my guess is that the uniform says it all.... he plays for the other team.

This is looking like a scene out of Nosferatu. Could you imagine if you got caught in a zombie apocalypse, but every zombie was a Hasidic Jew? If it looked anything like this I'd be dead, I'd be laughing too hard to run away, which leads me to another question.... can Hasidic Jew Zombies eat people? What I mean is, is that Kosher?

In case you're not gettin this one, that's former professional wrestler Chris Benoit. I say former because he went on a steroid induced rampage, strangled his wife and kids to death, then hung himself. At first I was going to say this was a bad shirt choice, but in hindsight, it perfectly sums up professional wrastlers... most of them are trailer trash made famous off of steroid induced rampages and choking people out....

But if you needed any more proof that wrestling is gay, its all right here, isn't it? I get what HHH is doing, jamming ole boys head between his legs... but what's that dude off to the side about to do with his fist? He's about to ram it run up ole boy's bent over ass, isn't he? UGH!!! That's not even right.

Speaking of gay.... listening to Judas Priest growing up would have been a lot different if I had seen this shot way back when, wouldn't it? What a horror! Rob Halford always wanted to be one of the Village People, and here he gets his chance. Honestly, how did any of us not see this coming?

But you know who DID see it coming?

That's right! Kurt Cobain saw it coming alright. It was the last thing he saw. Check out Courtney Love back there... enough said!

Why does that seem so damn appropriate here? I can almost see these little bastards planning something like this. Do you think this is what Courtney Love told Kurt Cobain just before he blew his face off? I wonder what the signal was, probably something nasty, something like an old George Carlin favorite, a massive pussy fart! And BAM!

I'm sure that dance move looked a lot better when they did it in their head. Whatever went wrong, the cameraman deserves major props... they had to have caught this with her on the way down. Her face has a one way ticket making a connection with that tiled floor. In about 3 seconds there's going to be blood and teeth everywhere!

Speaking of blood and teeth everywhere.... GOOD! I don't know about you, but I always root for the bull. It drives me crazy any time I see innocents suffering for no good reason, and I REALLY rail against it when its for the joy of others, so animal cruelty is at the top of my list of no-no's. So if you're the dumbass that gets himself impaled and then trampled by a thousand plus pound rampaging beast because you get a chuckle out of caging them, hurting them, and then riling them up.... you deserve what you get... and I get to laugh at your pain and misery after the fact.

You know from my posts and the many, MANY times you've come to me for my Life Coaching services that I'm all about empowerment, so this comic was right up my alley. That line right there, very true, is probably the biggest nail in the toe for all of us at the bottom looking up... you can have all the best ideas in the world, you can plan out all the details, know everything that has to be done and have it all worked out perfectly.... but without the power to get those plans going, to breathe life into what you're trying to do, you've got a whole lot of nothing....

And it fits perfectly that I bring this up on the day Occupy Wall Street is getting flushed from their flopping grounds....

"Bring out the crack suicide squad!"

I guess you have to know Monty Python to get that one. All I know is that fixing bayonets BEFORE the weapons tossing was not the best idea. This is going to get messy.

Did you see the piles of garbage they cleared out of Zuccotti Park from the OWS people? It was disgusting, like the dumps in Staten Island. What a disaster!

But how awesome is this.... Occupy Wall Street is supposed to be about corporate power and economic inequity... Billionaire Jay-Z made a killing for his clothing company off of shirts made about the event. Now on top of nationwide troubles with degenerates the movement has now found ways to FUND the corporate machine..... that's brilliant! What was that line about plans and power again?

What this has to do with hindsight I have no idea, maybe it has something to do with those pants, but it came up in my search, and did you honestly think I'd go an entire post without having even one lovely lady?

But its good also that she has nothing to do with hindsight because it allows me to add my lesson for the day. Yes, hindsight is always 20/20, and when the term comes up its always in some connection with "how the hell did you not see that coming, its common sense!". Common Sense... if we all had it there would never be a need for hindsight, right? At least that's how the story goes.

Trouble is, there's no such thing as common sense. It doesn't exist. In Social Psychology we have a phenomena called Hindsight Bias. Simply put, the answers always seem so much clearer once you know the outcome, and upon knowing that outcome, those feelings that we had that tell us were were right in the first place always appear to be much stronger than they really were. Its so pervasive that you can give a person a wrong answer and they'll explain to you all the reasons why that makes "perfect sense". Think about it and I'm sure you'll remember doing it yourself. Here endeth the lesson of the day.

I'm out of it!

I'm really out of it lately. There's something that I've wanted to get into for a few days now, but at the times I can do it, get the uploads going, well, the lights are on but no one's home. With all the changes going on, medications, whatever, its to be expected I guess, but this walking coma I'm in has to end somehow.

Right now it seems only one person gets me out of it, and only then for a short while. Then its right back to me in letting it all go mode. I need a haircut bad, I'm starting to look like an animal. The nails on my right hand are starting to look like claws. Weird though, the ones on the left with the broken wrist haven't grown at all. I wonder if that has something to do with the healing process.

I'm out of control right now.

A guestion came up in a letter I wrote last night, are you living the life you want to live? For me, right now, sadly the answer is no. Far from it. A terrible state for someone looking to be a life coach.

Luckily I have my mood changer loaded up, its important for all of us to have one, something to put us in a better place. For me its a file of movie scores.

I've always had a thing for Dana Delaney, so last night when her show Body of Proof came on I had to check some of it out. Its another of those tough female cop shows because that's the flavor of the month in TV land, whatever, same show as a hundred out there, but at 55 years old now she still looks really good. You can't go by me though. I love older women.

The best part of the show was the sexy, beautiful Nathalie Kelley. The only thing she's really been in was The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, she played the lead. Maybe its just that look I'm into, she had that Vanessa Hudgens thing going on, but what I really liked most about her.... looking her up there were no slutty pictures... not yet anyway.

That's a perfect picture of Aaron Eckhart for today's out of it theme, isn't it? I caught some of Battle Los Angeles again the other day, if you remember I really enjoyed that flik, but one scene in particular is a real Captain America - Avengers assemble moment that it gets me going.

But it reminded me of something too, just on the exact right day that I needed to be reminded of it. A leader doesn't get people to follow him because he asked. A leader does so by example, he throws himself in there because its what has to be done, because its whats right, and his light lights the way. People follow because they see why he's doing what he's doing. They follow him because he makes them believe.

And this of course has nothing to do with anything. Something must have been lost in translation here, when I said out of it, they thought out of their clothes. Still, why complain about Asian underwear ads? Hell I can even read one of the words in there... it says SEXY!

This is where it all falls apart, so take this as a warning. It all goes down hill from here. This looks like someone puked into a bowl. People eat this. I don't know how. For all I know this could be the best tasting thing in the world, but I'll never know it because the sight of it is making me gag.

Honestly, this is a whole lot more appetizing to me. That's someones guts he's playing with there. This was a real live boy once, but now that's all thats left of him. In this economy though, you just can't let good meat go to waste.

In the end it wasn't that he kept messing with this lion that did him in. Leo here actually likes his pal Mickey quite well. He just couldn't stand listening to the idiot trying to speak and the nonsense and gibberish that came out. When you're getting your kicks at the expense of the King of the Jungle, you should at least make sure you can spell. That's just common decency. Leo had enough of that illiterate bastard. So he ate him.

How are lions the king of the jungle anyway? Are there even any lions IN the jungle?

Hey, if those last parts made you sick I've got a number for you to call, they can help you settle your stomach. Seeing this, I think a buddy of mine is going to have a new call sign now.

Huh! Don't tell anyone, but this is really how I broke my arm. I like to play dress up, and joust competitively, but I don't have the money for a hourse, so I have to run at the guy instead. At least the hispanics in Quick Change got to have bikes. I'm at a decided disadvantage.

I've been joking about professional jousting for months now, its on my dating site profile, and sure enough they come out with a show, Knights of Mayhem, trying to making real life jousting into an actual sport. Its on Tuesday nights, and I missed it, but I've got to check this out. Someone's going to get killed, it used to happen constantly during medievil tournaments, which is sure to get the show pulled, so I had better catch it before that happens.

Hey, don't knock the whole renaissance fair thing. Where else do you get to meet real women like this one up above? This is how she dresses for work. I was trying to get with her for a while there, but you have to wrastler her to get her into bed. She kept beating my ass. I won't lie though, I was really into it. You would be too... even you ladies...

Besides....

She sure as hell beats my ex girlfriend. Actually, my ex only looked like this, this shot is from her last birthday party. But she was a really nice person, lovely personality. On the other hand, that English chick I was sleeping with a while back looked just like this too, but only her reflection in the mirror. On the outside she was SEXY.... it was just her soul that was gnarled and twisted...

Yeah... I'll take the beating from the chick with the sword, thanks!

Geez, none of this even makes any sense. But like I said, I'm out of it.

So now I'm out of here too.

Women can kick ass and still be SEXY!

There were too many damn pictures. I have to go through them all to pick out the right shots, and I hadn't realized how many I had taken. Without doing it, there was just no way I could do the story justice, and there wasn't enough time. So once again I had to switch gears today, go with something different.

I caught Green Lantern last night, a completely forgettable movie that I just couldn't get into, uninteresting. I saw what they were trying to do with most of the flik, they just didn't pull it off at any pass.

The one thing that kept hitting me the whole time that I watched the film though is that it never hit me how beautiful Blake Lively is. Sure, she's on all the hottest celebrity lists, but what the hell does that mean? There's a certain quality about her that just draws your eye to her.

With all the talk everywhere about raping 10 year old boys at Penn State, this really was a much needed, very welcomed change. This pic here is Lively with Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl fame.

Before you start to think that today's post is just a sex show I'm putting on to throw up pictures of women again, there was a progression this morning from one lady to the next that formulated what I wanted to say, so bear with me here. And remember this picture. Lively led me to Meester, who led me to.....

Minka Kelly (Derek Jeter you dirty dog you!). If you look at these last two shots you can see both women are in the same exact pose, same exact shot, underscoring the unoriginality out there, but also befitting the situation. Meester and Kelly starred together in The Roommate, a trash rip off of another trash film Single White Female. At least this time around the chicks are hotter, but that's not enough. Just like the equally trash reboot of Charlie's Angels, cancelled after 3 episodes, all of this crap is so bad even Kelly's looks can't save it. Proving looks aren't everything.... not even in porn!

Don't ask me how, but somehow Kelly led me to Danielle Lloyd here, and ultimately my point for today's post. Look how sexy she is lying there on the floor like that, right?

That right there is Danielle Lloyd lying on the floor also, covered in blood. Not nearly as sexy this time, is it? Someone attacked her in the streets and left her there a mess like that.

Here she is again, looking as sexy as anything, right? What's not to like, everyone would want some of that. I'm an old fashioned kind of guy, someone who thinks that a man should stand up for women when they deserve it. But many women out there just don't understand what a nasty, nasty world it is out there. Not until this happens.....

And not until it happens to them specifically. We all do that though, don't we? "Not me!"

Sure enough, this morning a court dismissed the case of a 46 year old many stalking 19 year old actress Selena Gomez. I chose not to put any photos of her up because, much like a Penn State Football Coach's favorite play thing, they all look like a 10 year old kid. That's just bad news, potentially devastating news for Gomez, who has a restraining order against the dirty old man.

And that made Gina Carano pop into my mind. In case you don't know, she once ran roughshod through the ranks of Women's MMA before she finally ran into a buzzsaw and got her head handed to her herself.

That's Carano again right here for Maxim. The thought that struck me that so many people refuse to see is that, even in this day and age, women really need to learn how to protect themselves. We all do really, people, there's some real scum out there, and the day that it IS you that it happens to, well, you better know what to do before its you ending up a bloody mess.

Carano then led me to Sarah Ponce here, another MMA fighter. Look how beautiful she is. There's a common misperception that if a woman is athletic or able to defend herself that she has to be some kind of manish brute, a butch, or a lesbian.

But how can anyone look at these pictures and still hold that ideal in their minds? These women are professional fighters, paid to beat the hell out of one another, but that doesn't mean they can't be sexy too. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

If you think she looks bad, you should see the other guy. This here is Elena Reid raising her arms in victory, and it perfectly illustrates my point, because this sexy beast down below is Reid also...

She cleans up pretty good, huh? Damn, I don't about you, but I'd sign up for that in a second. Gorgeous.

The other day I had a conversation about much of this, and somewhere in there I said that Gym class in schools should be replaced with Martial Arts training from the 1st grade through High School Graduation.

Michelle Waterson is a kickboxer. Looks to me that Martial Arts training did her well. But the inclusion of this sort of training in schools would go a long way to solving many of our problems. For one, we have an epidemic of overweight, out of shape people in our society. To a large degree there's a general lack of respect in this country, both for ourselves, and ever more frequently, for the people around us. As a people, we have no discipline. SO many of our troubles come purely from the fact that we can't control ourselves....

And then of course is that violence out there, and there's a lot of it. You're kidding yourself if you think there isn't, it just hasn't touched you yet. Brittney Palmer here is NOT a fighter, but as an Octagon Girl, she IS part of that world.

Could you imagine how much less people would fuck with each other if it was a known FACT that everyone out there has had Martial Arts training their entire lives as part of their upbringing. Could you imagine the effect that would have on American society, being taught from the beginning to respect ourselves and respect one another?

Some friends and I often speak about what things would be like if everyone had to serve in the military after high school like they do in Israel and how much better it would be. This would have the same exact effect without being nearly as extreme. And just look what its done for the ladies.

What do you think?

Tim Tebow - a shining example of how its done!

He did it again, his third come back victory in a month, the forth in his eight professional starts, this time against the supposedly great New York Jets Defense. The numbers to that point were horrendous. But that didn't matter, this is when he's at his best, late, with the game on the line. Tim Tebow engineered a 12 play 95 yard drive when it counted to win the game. Its what winners do.

They brought the house. They blitzed everyone.
AND HE RAN AROUND THEM!!!

During the post game press conference he first thanked Jesus. I can take it or leave it, but unlike so many other people, he never pushes his faith on anyone else, simply states that's what he believes, where he draws his strength. That I can get behind. How is it any different from any other way folks out there gain confidence? At least this is in a positive light.

Then he went on giving credit for the win to every other guy on the team, everyone but himself.

Last week I had to watch a disgusting ten minute diatribe by Bill Maher, making a real ass of himself, attacking Tebow. And why? Because he's a Christian, a man of faith.

"Fearing not I become my enemy in the instant that I preach"

So people can't push their beliefs or way of life down your throat, they can't tell you how you should live your life. But you can do it to them at every pass? Tim Tebow didn't do that, you did Bill Maher, way to go pal!

Whether its the Jesus thing or his ability on the field, there are a lot of detractors, quick to jump all over him. And why? Because he has character? Because he does everything right, the way that we're all supposed to do it?

Back in 2008 while at the University of Florida, following a loss, Tebow addressed the media and gave the above speech. He spoke the words with all the heart and emotion with which he does everything. And he put all the weight on his own shoulders. He promised to be better, to make everyone around him better. Who does that anymore? No one does. Well.... Tim Tebow does.

You will never see anyone play harder. You will never see anyone push more. This is what a leader does. They lead by example.

In a world where all we seem to care about is the pomp and circumstance, the flash without the substance, Tebow's stats never look pretty. Maybe that's why everyone hates him so much. Because its not a beauty contest, because he rolls up his sleeves and gets dirty. Because all he cares about is getting it done.

But for all of the ways his critics want to bash him, for everything they say that he can't do, they never speak of the things he CAN do, the quality of his character, the intangibles you just can't teach.

His entire Offense loves him.

His entire Defense loves him.

His entire Team loves him.

They make plays for him.

They kill themselves for him.

And you can see it in every action they take for him, whether its play on the field or hugs on the sidelines.

They do it because he kills himself for them first.

That's his girlfriend, or so the internet says

Tim Tebow makes everyone around him better. That's the one thing no one can ever touch. And he does it without credit, and without shirking responsibility. He puts the entire load on himself, takes all of the blame, but never the glory. That he leaves for his teammates. And for God.

Tim Tebow is a winner. Pure and simple.

He's a leader, the way all leaders should be.

He's a hero, and example for us all, an ideal to live up to.

And we need as many people like him as we can get right now, don't we?

My only hope is that he never lets us down like so many of our fallen stars. That, much like God rewards him for his faith, that Tim Tebow rewards me for my faith in him.

"We are what we continually do. Excellence, therefore, is a habit" - Aristotle

A Leader. A Hero. A Promise.

You will never see anyone play harder.

You will never see anyone push harder.

And for no other reason than I think this is an incredible picture of a beautiful woman. And I enjoy looking at it.

Taking a step back

It was a terrible weekend. Its forced me to take a step back.

This will sound like a lot of whining.... because it is.... but by the end it'll have a point, I promise.

Friday started off with the Women's Basketball coaches for Oklahoma State University dying in a plane crash. If you don't know already, I went to Oklahoma State way back in 1996, and while I was tossed out after that one year and ended up graduating from another University, it was one of the two best years of my life, so I always consider OSU my school, even if I'm not exactly a Cowboy.

Later that night our # 2 overall football team lost to unranked Iowa State and probably cost us a shot at the National Championship. You never know how emotional events affect things, and there's no way that team wasn't feeling the impact on that night. OSU has had too many tragedies in recent years.

So it was a black Friday one week early for those of us donning the black and orange.
But that wasn't the worst part.

This broken arm is costing me all of my extra side cash, which basically means there's not much of a life. I had been looking forward to a couple of events Saturday for about a month now, but I had to cancel my plans to go because of how broke these doctors bills have left me. They fitted me with a new cast which allows me to move my elbow, but its tighter and more restictive around the wrist.

The elbow looks gnarly now, I have no muscle in that arm anymore, and the pain getting the joint used to moving again is indescribeable. And that's after only two weeks. But another nasty side effect showed itself. I'm claustrophobic, can't stand to have anything pinned where it can't move. If I were buried alive like Ryan Reynolds I'd go into a fit and drop dead, so this cast has made me so uncomfortable over the past few days that I have to medicate just to stand life. As a result, I've been between a daze state and aggravated. And its cost me all my spending money to be there.

But that wasn't the worst part.

Sunday morning started off well enough, my softball team put up a quick 10 spot and we won the first game of the championship. We only needed to take one of the next two in order to finally win it all. We had the lead late in both games, but couldn't hold on. Worst still, we gave the games away, they didn't beat us, we did it to ourselves with bad mistakes, and there were spots where I could have made a difference had I been able to take the field. So we lost the big one and no one to blame but ourselves.

But that wasn't the worst part.

Later in the day my Buffalo Bills got smoked by a pig Miami Dolphin team, proving that they aren't ready for prime time, PRE-tenders rather than CON-tenders. And to make matters worse, the NY Football Giants played like trash and may not be ready either. I tried watching the game with some buddies, but by half the irritating arm syndrome had taken over and I had to get out of there. My softball season is over, my football season might as well be, so now there's nothing to look forward to until March or so, playoff Hockey time, and I can't even hang out with the guys for more than two hours......

But that wasn't the worst part.

Have you ever felt something so strong that every fiber of your being, every ounce of what you are and the very Universe around you is screaming "THIS IS IT! THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN!" and in order for the world to be right, that vibe, that feeling has to be true because there's just no going back to the way things were, to looking at the world the way you once had if you're wrong?

For the better part of a month I've had that vibe. Certain things had been progressing in a way that it just had to be, there couldn't be any other possible outcome, because every bit of me is overwhelmed with this sensation, THIS IS IT! THIS IS GOING HAPPEN! Either I'm right or I'm completely insane. Both are strong possibilities.

And then I saw something. That something.... well.... it would be completely ridiculous to suggest that it was me. So I have to be wrong.

At the same time..... the way things had been going, with everything pointing towards it.... it would be completely ridiculous to suggest that its anyone else.

Regardless of whether I'm right about "THIS" or I'm just nuts, I've been better because of it, and its not something I ever want going away. But if I'm wrong, it will.

My intuition has always been my north star, my guiding light, and whatever "THIS" is, I want it so much that I may be seeing signs where there are none. I can no longer trust myself, or my gut feelings.

THAT my friends is the WORST!

The point today wasn't to cry about my problems though, but its the perfect week to bring this up. How many times have you had a day like this, or a weekend, or a week, month, even whole years like this, when nothing seemed to go right, nothing went your way, everything that you had been looking forward to was completely wiped out and it seemed you lost every reason you had to even wake up in the morning and keep going?

How many times have you been so rocked by something that now you even doubt the things you were sure of? As my boy Bruce Springsteen would say, "God have mercy on the man who doubts what he's sure of!"

A friend of mine said recently that too many of us focus on the bad all too often, rather than focusing on the good. And when you're going through this, its so easy to get stuck in that negative spin, isn't it? Its so easy to see everything that's gone wrong, and lose sight of all you have that's good in your world.

Then what's a person to do?

Its fitting that this is Thanksgiving week, because its times like this, when everything seems to just suck, where it becomes imperative to take a step back, take a breathe, and focus on the things that you appreciate in life. "Yeah, that sucked, but Thank Fuck for THIS!"

Not only will it keep you going, but it will help put that smile back on your face and give you the strength and energy to forge ahead towards something good.

Hope Dworacyk is something good

That's body paint!

Or, again, as my boy Bruce would put it "Let the broken hearts stand as the price youve gotta pay. Keep pushin till it's understood and these badlands start treating us good."

So tomorrow I hope you'll join me as I tell you about all the things I appreciate in life.

Thanks and appreciation

Yesterday I was talking about how easy it is to get yourself stuck in a negative spin that you can't get out of and why its so important at those times to start thinking about the things that you appreciate in your life in order to change your energy and put you into a positive frame of mind.

Well, with tomorrow being Thanksgiving I thought it would be a perfect time for me to talk about many of the things that I'm thankful for and appreciate. Don't get offended if you get left out though, I'm very thankful for my family, my friends, and you good fans that read me everyday and make this worth while.

I appreciate the fact that my dog Jack (short for Jackass!) looks just like Animal from the muppets. He came from a litter of 7, and while his brother and sisters all played together, all he ever did since he opened his eyes was sit at my feet and bark to sit on my lap. So he chose me.

After the ex left, when he was about 6 months old, he caught meningitis and almost died. He was in the hospital for weeks, and after a few thousand dollars it was a last effort guess when the neurologist and I were brainstorming that came up with the cure. After I got him home he slept on my neck for weeks.

This is Jack's mom, Leia, my other dog. She's the toughest 15lb dog I've ever heard of, spent more than 6 months in the desert of Nevada on her own before the girlfriend found her. How she survived I have no idea. She had all 7 of her babies right in my hand, and would let me do whatever I wanted to with the pups, but wouldn't even let the ex go near them. That should have told me all I needed to know right there.

I had spent some time in some really dark places and I think these 2 dogs were the only thing that kept me going, so I'm very thankful for that, don't know what I'd do without them.

I love the small of a woman's back. There's something just right when your hand rests in the spot just above the round of her backside and you pull her close to you. I'm thankful for women that are soft and sweet, which I need to balance the manimal within me.

I really appreciate a good story, in any form. Its one of my favorite things. I also love baseball, Kevin Costner baseball movies, and great nicknames that last forever.

This is my Rotty Circe. There's something manly about having a dog, and I don't know that you can have a home without one. A dog is a sign that a man is coming home, because he may leave you, but there's no way he leaves his dog. I have a hard time believing that she's been gone for 5 years now, half the time I still feel her walking next to me, but I have so many great memories of her and could never imagine a better dog, or a better friend.

I appreciate a brilliant smile that can just light up the room from a beautiful woman, especially when its aimed at me. Sometimes, when you least expect it, an angel comes and lifts you up, and some people do that for everyone that they touch because their heart is so big it radiates. I'm glad I knew her.

Don't tase me Bro!

My God I can't tell you have much I appreciate this photo, or all the dumbasses in the world that give me something to laugh at. Life is the BEST! You just can't make this stuff up.

Mentors are so important, and I never really had one, but I'm really thankful for the one's that had to serve as such for me. I appreciate the fact that I was shown the path, that I was taught early that more luminous beings are we, not this crude matter, and that the force is with me.... always.

I appreciate Nick Nolte and all that he does. WE LOVE YOU NICK NOLTE!

I really love women, pretty much everything about them, so I appreciate the beauty of the female form

And I'm thankful for women that are down for anything

Especially when they're down for anything in bed, like sexy Kelly Brook here.

But there's nothing sexier than a woman who reads. I need a woman of intelligence; nothing stirs me up quite like intelligent conversation, so as much as I show off scantily clad ladies, there's nothing I appreciate more than when they show off their great big brains.

If you look at this picture closely you can see, just above the trees, Death blowing something up towards the light, plain as day.

How great is it when you get something you never expected that just completely blows your mind? I'm thankful that there's something more out there, and great gods show themselves to us once and a while, just to remind us that they're there, and that we're not alone.

And I really appreciate Elvis! I love the King, and Graceland is a place you really have to visit at least once.

What's not to love about great trips with the fam? I love when I get the opportunity to be the crazy, over the top, fun loving lunatic I am when I'm comfortable being myself, and the people who accept me and let me be that way.

After this shot she said to me "Thanks for nothing Hatter!" in a sexy English accent. To this day I'm still unsure if she meant it as something out of the story or if I didn't do something for her that she was wanting me to do. But then, she could have just been English, that's what my experience with their women has been

Operation Fishbone was one of the best weekends of my life. It's an inside joke I guess, so here's to inside jokes then, and to the stupid shit you did when you were much younger that you'd never even consider now, but MAN did you have a good time doing it! Those are the things you laugh about forever, and how can you not be happy about those?

Thank God for heroes that you can relate to, crossing the line, cold sterile bathrooms and the nudey bar! Lets Rock!

I'm really thankful for that last trip, and those last days and months, and that special friend who takes you from one stage of your life into the next, but never really leaves you even when you can't see them anymore. And even more so, I couldn't be thankful enough for that smile on her face, and knowing that despite being blind, barely able to move and taking 2 shots a day just to keep her food down, she was still very happy until the end, and that I gave her a good life.

I really appreciate the guys on my softball team. For a long time I was the best player on a really bad team and it completely sucked, but I love playing ball too much to give it up. And as we got better it was with all the wrong kinds of people, grown men acting like babies, constant fighting and nonsense.

Now its hard to tell who the best player is, we're a championship caliber team and I expect to win every game. But the best part of it is that we all fit together really well. This is the best team and the best group of guys I've ever played with, and its an interesting collection of people if you take a look, but we make it work. They make playing ball a lot of fun again and I couldn't be happier about that.

Bacon, country fried steak, good coffee, sweet tea, biscuits and gravy, country cooking..... CRACKER BARREL!!! What's not to love?

I love pictures that say it all. That's the Man back there with his finger up, you know of him from our many adventures, and the girl in front is the Ex. This is the first time I showed a picture of her. I wasn't with her for looks, but because we got along really well and I trusted her more than anyone. We all know how that turned out.

But I'm thankful for my time with her, and more thankful for the things it taught me, which include never settle for anyone, and if your closest friends and your brother hate your girl, there's probably something wrong there that you can't or won't see.

I appreciate positive role models that always show you how its supposed to be done, and do it the right way. And I'm very thankful that my childhood hero never let me down.

I really appreciate the unique talents and fine acting skills of my favorite living on screen star Monique Alexander. She never disappoints me.

That's Patrick Wayne, son of one of my idols, John Wayne, with me on one side and my dear mother on the other. She was so nervous going to talk to him that she couldn't do it, so I had to go over for her and make sure she got a picture. That was a great day, and I'm very thankful that I was there for it.

I really love being able to sit around in my underwear doing nothing but watchin TV all day.

And I love the greatest love story of all time, my favorite movie with my favorite actor.

Here's lookin at you kid!

What can be more manly than a good fire? And what's better than some good friends, some good music and good beer around that fire? I appreciate the beauty of moments like that, and I'm thankful for the times I've been able to do it.

And thank God I'm a Yankee Fan!

Wow! All this to be thankful for and I'm just getting started. I can be at this all day if I really got deep into it, and I bet you can say the same thing if you really stop to think about all the things you love in your life.

But mostly, I want to thank you for being here, and spending part of your day with me every morning.

And now that Thanksgiving will soon be behind us... its time to get ready for Xmas!

There's Beauty Everywhere.... when you know where to look....

A question had been posed as to whether or not real beauty actually exists in this world.

My initial reaction would be to say that if you don't see it, you're blind, but that's a bit harsh. Most people are so wrapped up in the their own world and issues that they never notice the wonders that surround them everyday.

I see beauty, real, true beauty, everywhere I go. But I see the world differently than most people, which is what led to my starting this blog. So today I'm going to show you.

Every one of these are shots that I took myself with my own cameras. Everyone of them was taken within the confines of my surroundings during what I do in the every day, not off in exotic locales during vacation time.

So look through, enjoy, and when your done, you tell me if real beauty actually exists in this world.

Happy Thanksgiving.

BLACK FRIDAY!!!

So today is Black Friday, the day that simultaneously rings in the Christmas season and shows what a disgusting materialistic consumer driven society we live in. I would rather have this girl blow my..... I'd have her shoot me in the face before I got caught out in the crowds at the stores too.

Just look at this mess down here. What part of any of that do you really want? I'd honestly prefer to spend the extra cash than to have to deal with that, unless I was smashed up against that chick in the grey sweatshirt down there. Nice rack! But it's no wonder people get trampled to death at Walmart in this kind of mayhem, after all, we value "our stuff" over human life anyway, don't we? There's a Christmas message for ya!

I might wait in line like that for Monique Alexander down there. In fact, that's all I want for Xmas. Don't you love how her backside sticks out like that, you can rest your egg nog on there. I think she's gotten implants recently, that's too bad. She didn't need them.

Monique Alexander

Check out the look on the faces of those women piling into Target. They're not happy to be shopping, enjoying themselves, they're just ecstatic that they've survived this long and praying that they can move into the store fast enough to stay ahead of the stampede. What a disaster!

On the other hand, there's nothing disastrous about Shera Bechard, Playboy's Miss November 2010. Sugar Plums may be dancing in YOUR head, whatever the hell a sugar plum is.... I say keep your damn plums, give me the sugar baby!

Shera Bechard Miss November 2010

Look at this poor bastard right here. We've all been there, haven't we guys? And we all know exactly what's going through his head too, don't we. "What the fuck is she buying now?!"

I have absolutely no idea who the hell Shinta Bachir is, but somewhere in the 6 hours that you're standing on line next to some sweaty animal that's slurping on chicken bones and throwing them at your feet so that you can be buying some bullshit that no one really needs for people you don't even really like, I'll be looking into it. Thanks.

Shinta Bachir

The look of confusion here is priceless. None of these women have any idea of what the hell is going on here. One thing we DO know though, another summer of their fat kids sitting in the house getting fatter while they play with the crap in your arms lies waiting. Just don't get pissed at me when no one likes them because they're too putrid to socialize.

Decisions, decisions. As long as she stays down there.... I think she's made the right one. Nice dress and thanks for the show! Do you do private parties? Its on my list for Santa.

Quick, which one has the stupidest look on their face? I can't say I've ever seen anyone get so excited over fuckin bed sheets! If the one in the front waits a bit I'm sure I can give her something a little better to get more excited over... you two in the back are on your own though. Did one of them trip the blond? She looks like she's going down, and not in that same super awesome way as the chick up above.

I love Kate Beckinsale, man. She's still sexy. My favorite role of hers was in Much Ado About Nothing (my favorite play by the way) when she played Hero. I've been saying for months now that we need a Hero.... she's just the Hero for me! Who else thinks she should have told Ben Affleck in Pearl Harbor, "You're boy knocked me up, you're beat, now fuck off!"?

Kate Beckinsale

This is the most racist ad I've ever seen. Putting a picture of black guy up there for Black Friday.... I was in this store a few days ago and that picture wasn't there. And it won't be there tomorrow. Some People! I don't know about you, but somewhere in there they lost the point of the terminology.

Rachel Bilson.... I don't know what it is, but I've always been so into her. She was about to make the big jump too until she made the mistake of getting engaged to Hayden Christenen. Not only did he completely ruin Star Wars, but also her career. I guess this is why all those damn chick marriage mags that brain wash women into legalized prostitution preach to always marry up.

Rachel Bilson

I never have underestimated the power of stupid people in large groups.... that's most of the world out there. How else do you explain the success of anything MTV has to offer?

Nice jacket, is that members only? One of the best parts of doing this blog is that I'm constantly finding new ladies to gawk at... and share with my friends. She does fill the clothing nicely though, no?

Estefany Pawtuckett

How horrible are we as a society? Look at all these young kids cheering and smiling while that poor old woman has to fight for her life. She's grabbing on to the dude in front of her, hoping he can drag her through it, all so that she can pick up a little something for her little spoiled brat grand kid at home. And they're going to throw that shit away as soon as she leaves, because whatever she picks, it won't impress the kids friends, and THAT is what Christmas is all about!

Jessie West was in that same store when they shot this. The rabid crowd pushed her up against the wall here, tore her clothes off. If it wasn't for grabbing onto that gold mesh behind her she would have been carried away in the current.

Jessie West

Seriously, if I'm going to waste my time with the horrors of Black Friday, I'm going to do it sitting on my ass, medicated out of my mind, and in the company of the horror greats, Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi

If it does turn out that I need something though, and have to brave the elements, and far worse, the unwashed masses of morons at the mall, you can bet your ass that I'm not throwing myself into the frey without a trained team of gun toting assassins behind me watching my back...

Or maybe you can bet her ass that's how it'll go down. I'll buy that for a dollar. Without the right back up though, I'm not even leaving the house today. Screw that. I've got a video to watch, and I think the drugs are kicking in.

You're A Bum!

Or rather, I am!

And that's not just the answer I gave a friend last night when they asked what I do for a living. It's not just because of my bullshit job. Its not just because of the pathetic paycheck I bring home that doesn't pay the bills. And its not just because I'm not doing what I want to do, not living the life I want to live, though those are all contributing factors.

I haven't gotten a hair cut in over a month now. I only left the house twice all weekend, and one of those times was to sit doing the same thing in someone else's place. I seem to have lost all focus, all drive, all direction....

And that's still not why I'm a bum!

"I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it"

And its true. I'm one of those jerks that people can't stand, one of those that can do pretty much anything once you show them how a time or two.... and I've done nothing with it. I'm so much more than what I've become....

And that's what makes me a bum.

Maybe you're in the same boat, I don't know. I can't speak for anyone but myself. There's nothing worse than wasted talent. So in that frame, I quess I'm the worst. I told you I'm a horrible human being.

And maybe I need to be a bum for a while. Maybe its good to accept where you're at. Maybe I need to chill out, not push so hard, then I can really see where I need to go next.

So of course, just this weekend a big picture item hit my mind. Its an insane idea. A huge one. The type of thing that changes the world.

And its something I have to do.

There are so many things I'll have to accomplish to get it done. Its going to take a lot of time. Its going to take a ridiculous amount of money.

For every level of success you have to become a new person. I'll need a total overhaul. I'm going to have to eat lightning... crap thunder....

But I've got three more weeks in this cast. And then rehab. I need some inspiration. I need a muse.

I guess I grew up a Disney kid, blame my parents for that, and probably 5 sisters.... but it made getting into Once Upon A Time. Its a really well written show. So I watching it last night a thought kept coming to me, bringing me back to something I truly believe...

Lana Parrilla plays the evil queen, and she's so good at being the absolute worst person you ever met in your life that I just can't believe that she isn't really that way in real life also. Its a theory I've been going on for some time now, that if a certain behavior just rolls off naturally for someone during pretend time its because they're so comfortable acting that way that it must be a part of them. If you want to know what its like to chill with Charlie Sheen, just check him out in Navy Seals. That's him! He's playing himself in there, gotta be.

The thing with the Evil Queen that fucks me up though is that I'm kind of into her. She's good looking enough, has something about her I find sexy, and if the internet is right (and it always is!) there's a flik floating around out there where she bares herself. What worries me is that what I find sexy about her is that she comes off as such a Thundercunt! That could explain a lot of things.

Speaking of actresses that love to take it all off, Anne Hathaway is getting hitched. Right there is a perfect example of how you need balance to everything, even the sexy, or you'll lose it. Now, to say that she isn't sexy is just damn ridiculous, but now I've gotten so used to seeing her naked in everything she's in that its nothing special to me anymore.

And that's the danger of the naked game. We all want it the first time, but once we're used to it, you're going to have to find a new trick to get people going, even when its boobs. And an actress who sells herself on sexy that can't get you into it anymore is in trouble.... time to release a sex tape.....

But she's getting married now, and what's sexy about that for the millions that want to nail her? Could be a step down is coming.

There's Demi Moore. Sexy? I don't know.

One thing for sure though is that some questions are answered loud and clear. A few weeks back I had put up a post using the 2011 Playboy Playmates, but saying nothing really that had anything to do with them. That one post accounts for nearly 20% of the five thousand plus times this blog has been read. Its all about the ladies.

But that answer brings up a new question, looking at that Demi Moore shot again, then to this one up above..... even the young ladies, how much are these photos airbrushed (heh, airbrushed) to make them look like that?

A few quick hits....

The Conan remake completely sucked balls.

What do you think are the 10 hottest Santa/Xmas pictures?

And start sending me your top 10 best of 2011.

2011 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show !!!

Once upon a time in the not so distant past if you were to show me a picture of a bikini model, whether it be Victoria Secret or Sport Illustrated, I would be able to tell you exactly who she was and probably stats and bio to go with it.

Adriana Lima

I was working for the NYPD at the time, and my buddy Kris and I actually had a large binder at the office where we kept files on this sort of thing. It had to go back through years worth of swimsuit issues and catalogues. And by now you know I knew the Playboy centerfolds too.

Miranda Kerr

I bring this up, not because someone brought up the fact that she thought I was gay way back when we were teenagers because I wanted to chill with the guys rather than see her at the time, this isn't my overcompensation for anything, except for maybe my lack in the ability to bring these sort of ladies home with me.

Erin Heatherton

But because last night they aired the 2011 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, which was actually held Nov. 9 or so. This was truly amazing television, and I'll tell you why. Now, I know about as much about fashion as I do about speaking Chinese or delivering half goat half pygmy babies, "Push... what? Not yet? Huh!".... which is to say I know nothing at all.

Right now I'm looking like the cover art from a drunken 70's rockers album. If you threw a cast on his arm here it could have been what I was seeing in the mirror last night.

Lily Aldridge

So I'm not going to be commenting at all on 2.5 million dollar bras. Let's face it, if people weren't buying them then they wouldn't be making them, would they?

I don't listen to Kanye West, Jay-Z, or Maroon 5 either. Needless to say, there won't be any musical commentary either other than to say it really annoyed the hell out of me.

Alessandra Ambrosio

And the show was so over produced that it didn't feel much different than any other fake ass behind the scenes nonsense. Honestly, the commercials were more alluring.

This special was basically unwatchable, painfully so at times... yet I couldn't look away!

Chanel Iman

Really, it makes all the sense in the world. I wasn't there for the celebrities. I wasn't there for the music. And I wasn't there to see what new styles would be hitting the stands soon, as if I would buy any of it even if I had someone to buy it for. It all looks good to me in a pile on my floor. I was there for the ladies.

Candice Swanepoel

And they didn't disappoint. As if I needed more to prove the power of beautiful young women in lingerie, here I was deep into a show I couldn't stand with my eyes fixated on the screen anyway. And what's not to like? Unless you're a woman yourself who doesn't have it like this, or a dude pissed that they don't have it to get with ladies who do.

Doutzen Kroes

I've stopped having that problem a long time ago now. And as far as just being some sort of perv.... they're underwear models, not only is it par for the course, its to be expected, comes with the job, because that's exactly what they're going for. We all filled our roles perfectly.

Lindsey Ellingson

For those guys out there like me who can't get enough of this stuff, just remember one thing... you're only doing exactly what every male of the species is supposed to do, science backs you up! Our main biological imperative after survival is reproduction of the species.

I explain it all right here.

We are hardwired to want to nail every woman on earth who we think is hot enough to want to make her pregnant. And lets face it... there's no thought process at all. Now that I know the science I'll never apologize for oogling an attractive woman ever again, no matter the age or any other factor.

You should see my dog when one of the females is in heat, drooling with a big dopey ass smile on his face, his eyes glued to her every move.... something takes over, he's a dog possessed! And I do the same damn thing, and so do you. I was doing it again last night watching Victoria's.... Hmmmm!!!

Behati Prinsloo

To be perfectly honest though, I got a whole lot more out of the time I spent watching the movie 13, with Jason Statham and Mickey Rourke, among others. I wasn't expecting it at all, and then this flik just went and got SICK! I'm talking almost Human Centipede kind of crazy, and it really blew my mind. This is definitely the kind of outside the box thinking we need, and I highly recommend it!

And finally, for those of you who give a damn about what a 2.5 million dollar bra looks like, here it is. For the rest of you, its just another really hot picture to look at.

If there's a point to any of this its that really good looks will get people to pay attention to almost any nonsense. And they'll also keep you hanging around long after you've lost all interest otherwise. Good looks simply keep you in the game longer, bottom line, no point fighting this fact of life. So learn to use it for your advantage, just make sure to remember that even the best looks only have about 30 minutes of shelf life.

Then you're going to have to do something more to keep interest... uh... up

But that's all for today.

Conditions of Victory, what its really like out there for most, and more models!

In yesterday's piece I spoke about the 2011 Victoria's Secret Fashion show and posted a lot of photos of the more well known models that they had walking the runway in bras and panties. We tend to go crazy over these women, but there are so many more that make these productions go, whether they be up and coming or just fillers that don't quite have what it takes to get to that elite level.

Mregji Heinen

The more and more I look into these things the more I find a few people in the entertainment business, whatever the genre, actually break into this elite status, while the landscape is littered by the hangers-on. Most of you out there with those bigger dreams will fall squarely in some realm of the latter.

Toni Garrn

So if you want to actually do more than make a hobby of this, and for more than just a few years, you're going to have to find a niche in that world or a new angle that's unique to yourself in order to keep you in the game. The more I get into what it takes, the more I'm seeing that hero support, the people behind the scenes that allow these elite's to do their thing, has much more long term viability.

Lais Ribeiro

Every one of the photos I'm using in today's piece is also of women that appeared in the show the other night, every one of them beautiful, yet none of them have the names or reps that the stars do. Many of them I had to filter through, even drop some completely, because I just couldn't find shots of them sexy enough to use that weren't naked.

Anja Rubik

So here once again we run into another common theme, people that are successful enough to take part in a huge event in their field, yet still not known enough to be much more than a face, albeit a beautiful face, in the crowd. I personally know more than a dozen women who could fit this category and still have less of an internet presence than I do. In 5 years they'll be looking for a real job, brought back into the real world just like the rest of us, no matter how much they're living the high life right now.

Anne Vyalitsyna

Again, beauty only gets you so far, opens the door, but there has to be something more there. That picture up top is smoking, and its no different than a thousand others I've seen. If you know any ladies wanting to break out, or break in, to the modelling/acting/music industry, or if you are one yourself, you need to make sure you're very clear on one thing, especially the models where its just your looks that you're working with.... you're going to be taking your clothes off for the camera, and its going to be all over the internet. If you want to be a star actress, you're probably going to have to sleep with a few big shots to get there. Its part of the gig. And if you're not willing to do that then you had better get back in school and study hard.

Shannon Click

I'm really not one to love being right, its more relief that I'm on the right track. The same as with these ladies having to be willing to go to ends others balk at to get into the limelight, I too have to find ways to make the system work for me, rather than against me as it always has, and so will you in any of your endeavors. Which makes it all the more important to know what you're facing and embrace it, rather than rail against it.

Julie Stegner

Whatever it is that you're doing, you can make it happen if you're just able to find ways to accentuate your strengths while limiting the exposure of the things you're weak in. The models here are a perfect example of that. These are mostly runway models, pretty faces, small skinny frames, big boobs and not much at all in the hips and ass area. So what do you see mostly? Cleavage shots and hair whipping.

Izabel Goulart

Bikini models on the other hand are going to show off more of the back end, use sexy poses to reveal their best assets. Magazines and professional photographers prove brilliant at being able to recognize a person's best attributes and leverage those in their work. Some of the ladies... there just isn't enough out there to work with. Others, like Izabel Goulart up top here, are able to pull it off so well that I actually had to restart my archives for later use because of the vast amount of material she has out there that's top of the line.

Caroline Winberg

Like always though, my point isn't to talk about half naked women and show off their photos, though it IS something I enjoy. Rather, its to illustrate something greater that affects us all and I'll explain....

This comes straight from the Art of War, but is applicable to every situation in life, especially career situations. In every scenario we have to look for the conditions of victory, exactly what is it that I want or am I trying to accomplish, or, what has to happen for me to win. And how will I know that its happened?

Once we know this, however, we have to then decide how far we're willing to go, how much we're willing to do in order to achieve that end result. If we have to do or give up more than we find worth it to achieve that victory then its time to walk away and find another battle to fight.

To walk out into a situation without knowing those conditions means you've already lost. That's how we get in over our head. That's how we get sucked into things we regret or can never live down. Yet its how most people go about their every day business of living their life.

As you go out there, know what you're getting yourself into, what you want to get out of it, and the price you're willing to pay in everything you do. To do it any other way will always lead to you getting fucked in the end. Sometimes literally.

Some Friday WTF?!

Its Friday morning and I'm not sure if I've had a serious thought run through my head all week... and I'm not about to start now. But I've already blown my load this week (in more ways than one) using pictures of women in almost nothing, and can't go back to that well.... what to do now, what to do....

So we're just going to go with a bit of WTF? for this Friday morning. As in WTF is that thing up above me here. This chick has her head wrapped like a pork roast. If she keeps this for a few more days do you think her face will stay that way? Quick, someone slap her.....

If you've been wondering how such a stud like myself could still be on the open market after all of the displays of my greatness, ponder it no more. The proof is right here, the perfect girl for me is out there, unfortunately, someone beat me to her. If that's not the wedding for this guy, I don't know what is.

You have to go to this page though, its where I got this pic from, and MAN do they have some funny ones....

This is the kind of outside the box thinking that I'm talking about... fast, efficient, cost effective and always gets it done.... why can't we be more like the Japanese, its no wonder they lead the world in everything, they've even got the market cornered on how to kill yourself right... in front of a live audience no less.

This would be even more disturbing if you knew where this toilet was.... the Men's room.... in Penn Station....

Talk about your romantic vacations pictures. The absolute best part of this photo is the smiley face across his ass. Does it make me weird that the first question that came to my mind was if he was coming or going?

The gift that keeps giving. To everybody. Don't I keep telling you all that there are a million things in this world to be thankful for?

You didn't think I'd go an entire piece without having one smoking hot beauty in here, did you? Of course not! Seriously, I actually know this girl, I spoke about her in my very 1st ever post and believe it or not she's really cool. The same can't be said for most that look like her. And for all of the "famous" people that are supposedly doing so well, she's got a much bigger internet presence than a lot of them. Keep up the good.... yeah....

Its feeding time. I bet you didn't know that camels eat their prey head first. I don't care how old he is, or what the situation is that brought this about.... if a camel eats your head, I'm pretty much convinced that you deserve it!

Is that a dog or an R.O.U.S? "Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist."

In the hot tub with your baby, a muppet, and you're brand new pink AK-47 with banana clip..... PRICELESS! There's so many places you can go with this that I don't even know where to start, but I have no doubt these people know just how to end it.....

Huh. When a bum freezing his nuts off on a bench looks down passed his cigarette on you and has to ask himself... WTF?!.... and you're going to be responsible for whatever happens to that kid in your belly. Somehow the rest of us are going to have to pay the price for this one.

Penn State University has just unveiled the Jerry Sandusky Children's Center....

Uh.... yeah.... he must have come from the same home as the woman at the top beginning of the piece.... Honestly, I can't hate. That English girl I was sleeping with told me that she couldn't give me what she was looking for. Now she's going out with this guy.

Supergirl, I love you. What a perfect uniform. I don't know what it is that I did wrong, but it was completely unforgivable... and now this superhero is going to have to punish me!

Bring out the gimp! Don't lie, you're that asshole on all fours looking the other way, we all know it, and now your secrets out! I know, I know, that's not fair.... these are the poor bastards that Supergirl up top caught. This is the punishment she doles out.... careful what you wish for pal!

Honestly, I don't see the problem here. This is probably the most lifelike drawing I've ever seen. You had just better watch yourself buddy, I hear Timmy the cat fucker is on the prowl, and that's bound to be looking pretty good to him.

That's real business that Timmy the cat fucker thing. We used to know a guy named Timmy that fucked cats and told everyone about it. That's not the crazy part of it. The crazy thing is that every girl he had sex with looked like Supergirl or my amazingly hot friend up there. And that doesn't surprise me in the slightest. It only goes to proves the people you women think are great.....

When I saw this I couldn't help but cry. This same exact thing happened to my brother. He was 12 at the time walking my 130 lb Rotty when she saw a squirrel and took off after it. She dragged that kid half a block on his stomach like some old Cowpoke getting lynched, it was GREAT!

This was taken in my high school locker room. No, seriously, this is what they used to do in there. Just be happy they haven't started playing leap frog yet... yeah, that happened too. Look at the smiles on their faces, they're loving this. Except for maybe that first guy on the left, what's with the blowers cramp? Maybe he's the engine today.

CLASSY! That's very lady like, and you told me they don't make women the way that they used to anymore.... All I know is that Toledo Firefighters don't fuck around! She's doing that mid conversation too, back home we call that a good woman!

Right now she's thinking.... "I wonder if he notices...."

Ron and Harry have always been so close.... special friends.... keep the magic in your pants fellas....

Baby.... you've got your spare tire... I've got mine. I can't be sure, but I don't think those are Michelin tires. Mom's got some hammers though, doesn't she. At what point does he say, you know what would make this the perfect romantic moment.... the donut from my Dodge! But hey, whatever works right? You can't hide that look of love in their eyes....

This right here is my retirement plan. I've got it all worked out. And since I'm plum out of spare tires... and I don't fuck cats... it may be a while before some gorgeous thing gives me those same longing looks, so I had better pucker up my asshole and get my yellow ready....

Now that we've gone over all of this nonsense, it appears as if the boys have my plans for the weekend all set up and ready to go, so I had better get out of here. That little guy is an impatient prick, hates when we keep him waiting. Until now though, I never realized how much he resembles Tony Fuckface.... spitting image.....

Until next time...

Spirals....

Some days, some periods in your life, it seems like no matter what you do everything is going to fall exactly right, go precisely the way you had expected it to and every time.

For some lucky people, this has been their entire life.

Some days, some periods in your life, it seems like no matter what you do nothing ever falls the way the need it to, it all seems to fall apart around your ears and never goes right, or the way you want it.

For some unfortunate slobs out there, this has been their entire life.

The way that karma works, whatever you put out there always comes back to you. So many confuse that, they think that if you do good things good will come; do bad things, bad will come. Unfortunately though, that's not the case, rather, its all about how you feel.

A serial killer who feels good about who they are and what they do will generally fall into that top category, with everything falling the right way.

The person with that good heart, the one that would give you the very shirt off their back and often does, but always has that pang of regret in their heart for all the things they still can't do, all the people they still can't help, and feels bad about it.... they generally get the latter, things just don't fall right for them, do they?

We all know, or at the least have heard of, a real son of a bitch in every aspect of their life that always gets everything they want.

And people love them, no matter how horrible they are. They flock to them. Can you see that person in your mind right now?

We all know, or at least heard of, such a good person that they deserve every good thing in life that a person can have, yet nothing ever goes their way. They always seem to get crushed down by the world. And you wish they could just get one break, because then they would make the world stand on end in ways that can't help but make you smile.

Yet people try to avoid them as much as possible, no matter how special they may be, because they can't do the same things that we can, can't put themselves in a better position.... and no one likes a downer.... Can you picture them in your mind?

There's always a spiral, upward, downward, and one event ignites the chain that spins that life where it will go, doesn't it? When its going good its always going good, and even when its bad something good comes out of it. When its going bad it always goes bad, and even when something good happens, its tempered by the consequences or circumstances that arrive as a result.

Swirling up or swirling down, it creates a rift, a chasm between us. The two can't see the world the same way any more; they can never meet.

When you're always down, the life, the spirit, is sucked right out of you, to the point where you literally can't think of what to do next, or pick yourself up and get going enough to do what needs doing if you could think of it. There is a weight, the weight of the world, pinning you to your knees.

When you're up, you don't want anything to mess with it, so you just keep it rolling and enjoy it as much as you can with others trying to enjoy it as much as they can as well.

Both can drastically skew your perspective. Both can alter your reality to the point where you lose touch, lose your grip on reality, lose sight of how things really are out there.

What spirals, swirls UP in the world around us? Forces of nature do, and we anticipate their coming when we can because they change everything that they touch.

What spirals, swirls DOWN in the world around us? Dirty bath water, pools of your own filth swirl down drains. Shit swirls down toilets. And those things are cast out with all the other refuse we don't want.

Air pressure lifts you up. Air pressure pushes you down. Its all in the aerodynamics. Its all in how you spread your wings. Its all in finding that right angle so that the passing wind makes you rise above the rest, rather than creating friction that makes you crash.

But what do you do if no one's ever taught you how to fly?

How do you turn your shit into a force of nature?

We live in an exact Universe. There's a calculation for everything, otherwise none of the things we've come to know, television, cell phones, cars, airplanes... none would be possible without the magic formula. Manure can be turned into bombs. You can literally use your shit to blow things up.... even feces can change it all forever.... if only someone showed you how....

The best option is to always put yourself in situations where you feel good.

But what does a person do when they never have that option? What do they do to change their stars when that happens? Who do they turn to for help....

Downer today, I know, but its what I'm thinking about....

Hitting the Wall....

SO it appears that I've hit the wall, run out of things to talk about, and its such a fine morning for it too with the downpour washing over the city of New York. This was bound to happen eventually, that's the price when you're a one man gang, trying to bring something new and fresh every day even when nothing new or fresh is happening.

No, that's not the wall I've hit, though I HAVE been thinking a lot about baseball the past few days. This is one of the more disturbing sights that's come out of the game I love though. I just found this photo this morning, and I'm pretty positive that's Gary Sheffield pinning Bubba Crosby to the wall there.

I'm not sure which is more upsetting.... the fact that I can recognize that its Crosby smashed in there from the look on his face, or that it looks like Shef is doing this purposely.

Most of the time life feels like this right here, pushed up against a glass barrier that isn't going to move, yet forces and the places you want to go push you right up against it anyway. Right now I'm just glad I blew this picture up.... don't lie, it caught you too, I think its that eye of his staring at you that does it. This is what Poe was talking about, what drove ole boy to cut up that old man and stuff him under the floor boards.... its that eye....

Sometimes life takes it all out of you, or you give it all you've got until you're brought to your knees. I'd bet this woman here left it all out on the field, pushed until she had nothing left. Those are the ones I admire, not talent, not winning, it's that drive, the WILL to win....

I used to have that once. The real difference is passion.... that desire for something so deep that you can't live without it, that you put everything into getting it. For the first time I really saw what that meant this week.

When I die, all I want is to be able to look back and honestly tell myself that I gave it my all, life that is, that I left it all on the field. I haven't been doing that though, not really. That's going to have to change.

That sounds like some good advice, doesn't it? Some real inspirational stuff right there, the stuff that drives you, gets you going. My father came from that school of thought.... FIGHT THROUGH IT!!!

Except that its counterintuitive. Much of life is that way, our natural instincts tell us to do the exact opposite of what the situation actually requires. When you're about to get hit you naturally tense up, brace for impact, but its that tension that actually causes you to get hurt. Being loose and giving yourself the ability to absorb the blow is what gets you out of there in one piece. Again, that's the balance of the universe, the yin and yang of it.

This is what happens when you use raw power to try to smash through barriers.

I had just finished reading the 33 Strategies of War, another by Robert Greene. I've become a big fan of his. While it wasn't as good as the 48 Laws of Power, and that's possibly because much of it is based on The Art of War, which I know well already, its still a great read with a lot of lessons for everyday life.

These are the exact type of challenges that the book deals with, knowing WHEN to tear down walls and when those walls are keeping the bad men out. It deals with knowing when to use will power and brute force, and when to use speed and finesse.

Speed and finesse didn't work out so well for this guy now, did it?

Those last two shots were people trying to get passed that wall with the benefit of the best that money can buy, and they still didn't have what it took. When you're driving an old jelopy its an entirely different ballgame, you can't rely on pure performance... things have to fall your way...

Or this is what you get. Yeah... I've ended up here too many times. And you have too from what I've been hearing. Haven't we all?

This is the exact kind of treatment I try to avoid, and the more I try to avoid it, the more it seems to find me. Again, counter-intuitive.

That's why it may be a good thing that I'm at the base of the wall. Maybe its time to focus on the important things in life....

That's Candice Swanepoel, now that I know she's a Yankee I think she may be the perfect woman.

With all this talk about Jose Reyes leaving the Mets for the Marlins its gotten back into looking into the game. I ended up buying Moneyball yesterday and started to read it finally, and its been great already.

If you're a baseball stat guy (and I am) you have to look at Slugging percentage. Last year the top 3 teams in Slugging in each league all made the playoffs. The other team that made it to the dance in both leagues led the pitching category in slugging against. OPS, or slugging plus on base percentage.... its the only stat that really counts. You can predict who will win based on that alone.

That there is Jose Reyes, formerly the Mets best player. I hate the Mets, but not because of the team itself, but their fans. They're the type of ignorant asses that are so obnoxious that they make you hate everything that they associate with.

I'm a huge Buffalo Bills fan, and they went to the Superbowl every year that I was in High School. At the time a Jet fan told me that the Jets were better because they had won a Superbowl in 1969, some 25 years before said statement was made. I bring this up because Jet fans.... Met fans.... they're the same people, and this sort of statement is the rule with them, not the exception. I kid you not.

For that reason I can't deal with them, because they are UN-reasonable.

This here is Sandy Alderson, who is a central figure in the book Moneyball, and now the Mets GM, so it all does tie together. I actually liked the moves that he made after the Reyes defection, which will turn out to be a blessing for the team, you'll see.

And now I really can't wait to delve deep into this book. I'm even excited enough to start that virtual baseball league I love so much back up.

Izabel Goulart has nothing to do with any of this. I just found so many hot pictures of her for the archives that I had to include her somewhere in here. Besides, it really lifts things up, doesn't it, makes the whole day more cheerful.

More things having nothing to do with anything, I caught Crazy, Stupid, Love and Our Idiot Brother this weekend for a buck each from the red box. You all know how much I love the red box. They were both great movies. Crazy, Stupid, Love was just real life, solid all around. Our Idiot Brother was on the dopier side, but a nice, uplifting tale. Then again, I like stories about people, and life.

That's all for today though.

I can do all things....

By this time Friday the fiberglass tie that binds me should be off.... 4 more days.... I can't tell you how excited I am about that this week.

Last week I had finally gotten around to finishing two books that I'd been meaning to look at for some time now, the first being "Moneyball" by Michael Lewis, and the other "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale.

Both are good quick reads depending upon whether or not you're into the subject matter.

Moneyball ends oddly, but for the most part I think its been largely misinterpreted by the detractors of what it proposes. If we could all afford to just shell out whatever it takes to have anything we want then life would be easy for all of us, we wouldn't have to struggle for answers or look into better ways of doing things. But what do you do when you can only have enough assets to get ONE thing that we need, which one thing is the most important? What will get you the most bang for your buck?

There are a lot of us that have to make this distinction, this decision, every single day in all the many aspects in our lives, especially over these last few years.... especially in this depression.

Moneyball takes this same approach to spending money in the game of baseball. Being someone who has always had to look for that one thing that will get me the most bang for my buck, someone constantly looking for that magic formula to win at life, this book fascinated the hell out of me. And it helps I love baseball.

What do you think gives you the most bang for your buck? If you had to get rid of everything but one, what's the one thing you would hold onto? If there were just one thing that you had to find that would get you from where you are to where you want to be, what would that be? The answer to that is going to be different for everybody.

The Power of Positive Thinking probably would have been required reading years ago for anyone that wanted to break into that same field that I want to break into, but these days there are hundreds of books preaching the same things. The Secret being one.

There is one thing that kept sticking with me... the saying "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME". Peale was a Christian of course, so his viewpoint was skewed in that direction, and you could easily substitute Christ in that sentence for whatever it is in your life, your belief system, whether it be Yahweh, Allah, Buddha, Grilled Cheesus, Crazy Larry or The Man.... but there's real power there.

I can do all things through Strippers who strengthen me!

And as if I needed another example of the power contained in these words, Tim Tebow worked his magic once again against the Chicago Bears, this one looking as much like divine intervention as anything I've ever seen. The Power of Christ compelled Marion Barber to completely blow it for his team..... TWICE!

That's a movie reference by the way. If you don't get it, you need to brush up on your classics. That right there is something that I'll touch on again sometime down the road.

Throw your arms out wide and say boldly "I'M THE MAN!" (or woman) and tell me it doesn't feel great!

It does.

Aside from the delusions of grandeur that have been rolling around my head since last week, and the very real vision of what these delusions will look like, these revelations finally made clear something that I've already long knew.

What we do in life, success/failure, and how we feel, confident/low self-esteem, is completely based on how we see the world.
How we see the world, glass is half empty/half full, is completely dictated by our subconscious mind
Our subconscious mind is being programmed every second by the people around us and the circumstances and events that teach us what we can or can not do.
This programming is what forms our belief systems, whether we believe that we're good or bad, whether we are winners or losers. Believe you're a winner and you'll find ways to win. Believe you're a loser and you'll find ways to lose.
Humans are social creatures, so we NEED to fit in with the crowd, yet everything we gain in life is based on perceived social values, so we are always trying to set ourselves ABOVE everyone else, and most people do that by telling others what they CAN'T do, by putting their competition down.
Most people are programmed to see what they CAN'T do, but successful people have programmed their mind to see how they always win.
Anyone can reprogram themselves to right thinking, but you have to unlearn what you have learned. There are very specific, easy ways to do this, but you have to do it constantly. Affirmations such as "I can do all things through Captain Kirk who strengthens me" or simply "I'm the Man!" can do that.

Keeley Hazell Desnuda

For a good while now I've been struggling with how simple it really is, afterall, there HAS to be more. It can't really be that easy, can it?

But it is. And I can show you how. Are you with me?

The Huh? Show

We all have our secret language, those terms and sayings that only make sense to the people we hang out with. Over the years I've had a few, there are people that I can have entire conversations with using nothing but movie quotes, and they'll know exactly what I'm saying....

Since meeting my good friend Scotty Z in Las Vegas the word HUH has taken up its place among the higher levels of my favorite words. Much like the mother of all words, the F bomb, the versatility is immense. Huh? Huh! and Huh. all have different meanings. Change the inflection of your tone and that changes again.

Superman walks out of his phone booth and sees a half ape version of himself. Huh?

Come on, you know that one. You've seen it plenty of times before whenever anyone asked the hard questions....

Then of course there's the "You know exactly what I'm talking about, Huh?" I've been known to make these same faces in this same situation.... sometimes while I'm still in the bar... good man!

This would have fit more with the all important exclamation point. I think you can see some drool or maybe its a string hanging from the left corner of the freak on the rights mouth. The one on the left is just happy he got all the looks. HEY YOU GUYS!

My sister collects Barbie Dolls, and I always wondered why she never gets any of the Black Barbie dolls. Not anymore. I bet you didn't know she makes her own make up. That rainbow shit over her eyes was crushed out of her own front tooth. Hey good lookin... what up?!

Did I flush the toilet this morning? I know I took a big shit, remembered it wrapping around the bowl three times... and I'm pretty sure I washed my hands after, or at least they don't smell.... but did I flush....

Huh?

Is that Amanda Peet? GOD, I love that stupid look on her face. Who says there isn't anything to smile about these days?

Well, I don't know if I'm going to.... handle it.... but if you needed another reason, this is why porn is the BEST! It can make anything fun, can't it?

Speaking of porn.... apparently she loves blow. HUH!

Am I the only one that sees that weird flap of skin between her fun bags? What is that? I'll tell you what it is, that's a perfect visualization of the pull of gravity when two celestial masses, two heavenly bodies, are moved apart from one another....

Society is finally finding ways to move ahead of the curve, address the biggest news stories of the day, and combine them to come up with creative solutions. Lady Gaga wants the bullying to stop. Priest and Football Coaches everywhere need little boys to rape..... do I hear WIN-WIN here or what?

HUH!

Tell me why I'm so sure she has a bald head. Part of me thinks she looks like Venom here, lashing her tongue out like that. Part of me wishes she was coming to get me. Huh?

Yeah, I don't know either.

Huh. I guess they don't float either. Don't get pissy with Spidey, he has to conduct experiments like this every once in a while, how else is he going to know how much time he has to save who and when in the future without testing for empirical data. Let's not forget, Peter Parker, after all, IS a scientist.

Huh? I'm not a doctor or anything... but isn't she grabbing the wrong spot? Exactly what is it that she's touching? I wonder if she's like that chick in Total Recall.... 3 tits.... "You make me wish I had tha-ree hands!"

She's pretty tiny though, I guess all three of her boobs are small.

I don't think there's anything at all that I can add to that.

Katy Perry. Huh. That there bright eyed Elmo looks surprised. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, don't they? There just may be something to that, huh?

BEHOLD! All Mighty Masters of the HUH!

Success is all about mastering communication, as Anthony Robbins says, the quality of your communication is the quality of your life. All I can say is that there's a reason these two fine, outstanding young men have made it all the way to Hollywood.

Huh huh, Huh huh... Huh huh....

If this is The Huh? Show then I guess that would make me DJ Meaningless, huh? I think I smell a new nickname coming on. Its fits well enough, certainly with this post, and pretty much most of everything else I talk about....

But if you want a lesson here you go... sometimes you have to just say to hell with it all and goof off.... its the best way to stay up.

And as long as we're going with meaningless affairs....

HUH! That could be some meaningless fun for a while. I'm sure that'll help keep me, uh... up.

Whatever. It would take a while for you to know all my Huhs, so there's no point to going on with any more of this. Have a good one, then spread the.... love.

Small Victories and something to look forward to.

There are a lot of things running through my head right now.

The first is the success of this blog. It seems to be at the beginning stages of a lift off, which is great, and its reminded me of an important idea that most of us miss in going for our glory.

Success comes from a series of small steps and small victories, one thing at a time, one foot after the next.

We all think about the overnight success, but how many of those were just people that were overlooked for a long time until something happened that made everyone notice the work that they had been putting in for years all at the same time? Truth is, that's most of them, we just didn't or couldn't or wouldn't see them before.

That's at the beginning stages for me, which leaves me in a position where I have to change. Sometimes less is more, and you may be getting less of me with the idea of quality over quantity from here on out. A while back I spoke about not getting noticed for the wrong things in my piece 2011 NY Comicon - what NOT to do, and now the same goes for me. When the girl of your dreams finally sees you there you don't want to be drooling all over yourself, so you're only going to be getting something if I think its good enough to give you.

Then again, maybe the girl of your dreams is a drooler too. I have an uncle that used to be able to pick cards off the ground with his spit, no, seriously. He could drool down to the ground from a standing position, touch the card, then suck it all back up card and all.

If that's the kind of guy you are then this is the girl for you, so maybe getting caught out there like that is EXACTLY what you want. What do I know?

Is that really drool falling from her lips? It looks like something else. Come to think of it, there are probably some good things you can do with a hot girlfriend who enjoys this sort of thing.

And honestly, I'm looking like this guy up top lately, without the pleasant disposition, so maybe a drooler is just what I need....

But moving away from the slimed tangent that I slipped on....

The small victories that build up slowly and then seemingly explode into huge success, what my good buddy Walt speaks of often as the Art of Compounding, also have another much greater effect than a simple win that does so much more for every area of your life....

Its the small victories everyday that build confidence by constantly reinforcing the ideal that not only CAN you win, but that you WILL win, every day. You grow to expect it.

This is how belief systems are formed, good or bad. Your brain is constantly looking for reasons why the things you believe are true, examples that prove it. And it finds them every time. If you're winning every day, even in small amounts, it literally shakes the concept of failure right out of your mind. How can anyone believe that they're a loser if all they ever do is win? They can't.

Small wins every day make you believe that....

THAT'S RIGHT! Thank you Winston Churchill! You tell em'!

There's a second, equally important element on the other side of this too. If you're going to stay up and have the energy to keep going every single day, then you're going to need something to get you up in the morning. And then you're going to need things that keep your spirits light and free....

Small victories help with that, but we all need to have things we can't wait for, things to look forward too. Whether its something today, this week, this month, whathaveyou, these are the things that make all the hard work worthwhile.

Show me someone without anything to look forward too and I'll show you someone who's lost hope.

It may only be a soak in the hot tub after a long day, but like a guy who's gotta piss so bad he feels like he's about to blow a gasket down there finally getting to drain it.... sometimes there's no better feeling in the world.

And its up to us to put ourselves in as many situations as you can where there's no better feeling in the world.

We look forward to things because we hope they will give us some of that feeling. You can never give yourself too much of that, but take it away and what have you really got?

Kylie Bisutti

For instance, I've been looking forward to putting this picture of Kylie Bisutti up for weeks now, and I don't have to tell you why.... And imagine what a charge you would get if you could look forward to coming home to that every night....

But if you don't believe it will happen, it never will. Even if you get the chance you'll wreck it. So its of the utmost importance that you choose the program your brain runs, what your subconscious tells you.

You do that by feeling like you're on top of the world and that you should be, because you deserve victory. You do that by giving yourself things to look forward to, and building a strong foundation of success upon small wins every day.

But that's all for now.

TAKE.... This broken wing....

This will be the last time that you hear from me before finally getting this cast removed from my left arm, and its about damn time!

Of course, now the real work begins.

Last night I was tracking the performance of what I do here and crossed the numbers on one of the articles.... it read 1701.... instantly one thing flashed across my mind...

And that's not the first time its happened, no, it happens every single time I see the numbers 1701, no matter where I see them, no matter the circumstance.

That's how powerful images are in our mind. That's the exact kind of association our brain makes with everything we encounter which dictates what we do in life. With this one in particular, its been trained into me for so long that the association is strong enough to occur every time.

Most of our wants and desires, most of how we think and act has been trained from our birth in this exact way, by our family, our friends, and especially..... from TV and Radio. We've all been collectively brainwashed to believe that this is the way life is now for generations....

Is it any wonder why us guys drool over women that look like this down below like Pavlov's dogs? Is it really any wonder why we put so much value on "things", rather than character? Or that, as an Occupy Wall Street protester told me... "Well.... we still want our things"?

Charity Hodges

That picture I grabbed of the Enterprise had a headline "Pentagon wants somebody to build Starship". Not only doesn't that surprise me, but I can't wait for it to happen. According to this article, we're going to be sending commercial flights to space by 2016 with the intent on eventually sending people to the international space station. There's every possibility that sometime in my life I'll be able to actually take a trip to the moon. How exciting is that?

The other day in London the Royal Family of Dubai was robbed at gunpoint, their Christmas money was stolen. That Christmas cash amounts to about 3 million bucks... must be nice, huh? 3 Million as your throw away cash for bits and bobs and spreading some holiday cheer. I wonder exactly how much holiday cheer that kind of capital finances, and I'm more than happy to take up the challenge of finding out if any of you feel the need to fund the operation. It would start like this....

The article cracked me up, not because they got robbed, but because of the getaway driver. When the police caught the guy he says to them, "Yes, OK, fair enough. Are you going to take me to the police station now because I'm a bit cold."

That right there pretty sums up every experience I've ever had with the English.

Speaking of every single experience I've ever had with a given group of people... this has been my experience with ever Frat Boy I've met, a Vermont U Frat asked members who they wanted to rape. Once you hit the real world you realize that other than partying, college is really all about the social networking, the connections that you make, the meeting of like minded people and helping each other "make it" later in life.

Can you imagine an entire organization of people that seriously entertain these kind of ideas? And they're out there. When I was at Oklahoma State a girl I was close with had to stop dating me... I wasn't part of one of the two frats that she was allowed to date guys from as a member of her sorority. That's no shit, real life stuff right there, actually happened.

These are the people that become career politicians. These are the people that run our country. Do you still wonder why things are such a mess out there?

As for who's running things, well, I still have my reservations as to exactly who that is, but President Obama thanked the troops and spoke about the official end to the war in Iraq..... yet 16,000 Americans are still going to be staying there.

Let's put that number into perspective here for a second, 4,400 soldiers were killed throughout the war, and we're going to be keeping 4 TIMES that amount of personnel stationed over there. 16,000 people is about what it takes to fill a major university. That's an entire college worth of people, a small city. That's not even counting the private, ahem, er... mercenaries... that will be there.

Putting our society into some clearer light again based on that.... 16,000 people can easily fit into Madison Square Garden. Three times as many people go to your average baseball game each night, five times that many people pack the average college football game every Sunday afternoon.

There will be more dirty hippies at a New Years Phish show than there will be running U.S. Operations in foreign affairs with a nation we we're just at war with and occupied for nearly a decade.

The idea today is to give you a bunch of things to think about. And you should really consider them, then get back to me.

While you put that into your pipe and smoke it, I'm going to get this arm thing taken care of. Until next time...

Sexy Santa and the Christmas Spirit?

Christmas is already over for me, we had to do the whole family thing this past Saturday due to scheduling and all that, so all I've got to look forward to involves Turduckin, Ringo and The Man

But that doesn't mean that I want to lose that Christmas spirit.

One thing is sure around this time of year, and that's that there are a lot of slutty pictures of ladies trying to be sexy for the holidays. If there's anything to prove how many nameless faces are out there trying to make it on nothing but how they look just Google Santa.

I tried to do it myself once, tried my sexy on for size, this is how it came out...

Yeah, so I had to hit you with that right off the bat. Its your own fault though. Not to worry, there will be plenty to cheer about this week, and that's not just the gifts under the tree. Christmas is supposed to be about family time, staying together....

Like these ladies right here. I'm usually not one for carolers, but if they were to sing at my door I think I could find it in my heart to wrastle up a donation. But its not all about that either. Sometimes we find ourselves in places we don't want to be this time of year, like stuck working, and it feels like we're locked in a dungeon.... often its about finding ways to make the most of things and appreciating what it is that we DO have....

So my cast is finally off, and the doctor hit me with another set back - 6 more weeks where I can't do anything. It makes sense the way this thing feels, my 6 year old niece was able to squeeze a ball that I couldn't do anything with.... my left hand is weaker than a 6 year old girls...

eh, I was weaker than a little girl before the arm thing, so who am I kidding?

Danielle Lloyd

Setbacks aren't an issue, we all have them in life, it's all about how we deal with them that matters. In the passed few weeks while I went ungroomed like some dirty animal I shifted from a restless soul that needed to do anything to get out of the house to one who's perfectly content sitting at home, blocking out anything that might happen in the world outside.

It's both good and bad, but this time its exactly what I needed. Besides.... this spot is all about accentuating the positives, isn't it?

And really, there's a lot to be positive about, little to get upset over.

After about three months I figured it was finally time to get off my ass and get myself a hair cut, and as soon as I walked in my barber started breaking my balls. I looked like a porn star from the 70's without the mustache, so it was well deserved, I had it coming.

Little things like that are what's great about life though, when you're close enough to someone to break balls without it meaning a damn thing, and you can laugh about it.

Maybe that's the New York Christmas spirit. It doesn't really matter to me because I've gotten to a place where I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks of me at all. That's a difficult transition for anyone who counts on whether others like what you have to say or do in order to make a living in the way you want. And it can lead to straight reckless behavior.

Whatever though. There's plenty of time to straighten up, we'll worry about that after the New Year. You've got to love this girls hips.

So the big news across the globe today is that North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Il bought the farm last night. Its ironic, people over there are barely able to eat. This isn't the time of year to talk bad about anyone though, not even violent oppressors, so in an effort to keep spreading cheer, try to find something good to say about the man...

Kim Jong Il was GREAT in Team America: World Police!

What is it about this pose that always seems to work? Ladies, if you can't find a way to look sexy on all fours, there's just no sexy for you at all, is there? Its the first shot they take up at the North Pole. They use this on their I.D. cards in Santa's Sweatshop.

This one doesn't speak any English, Santa gets all of his helpers from the same countries that supply the worlds mail order brides. Who do you think does the mailing? He's got to raise money for all those damn kids toys somehow, right?

In this day and age though, its difficult to give so much love to a fat old man who gets his jollies from little kids sitting on his lap, but luckily for Santa, if the whole Christmas thing doesn't work out, Penn State Football is hiring.

That's not very nice though. I have to work harder at this. Like that fine, upstanding young lady up above, I'm going to get out there, hit the trail, and find that Christmas spirit!

The hole in the soul and Universal Consciousness

For the last few hours I've been haunted. I checked out a Welsh film called "submarine" last night and it left me glaring deep into the hole in my soul, staring at the empty space with thoughts drifting to what I know is missing from that place. It happens. We all get these moments, for some they never seem to go away... though I'm not too concerned with all that. Nothing a good laugh won't solve, or anything else that puts you in a positive frame of mind... your happy place.

My Happy Place

Successful people only spend 10% of their time thinking about a problem, the rest on the solution.

Oh... and the movie was weird. I ended up loving it, even if it did leave me haunted.

Have you ever seen a ray of light beam through your window? There's a glowing shaft piercing a darker world, and in that shaft floating particles dance and sway this way and that without any noticeable pattern.

The other day I sat on my bed and watched these particles swirl through the light. Its in these rare moments that we're able to see those swirling energies that fill the spaces in between, the power, the life we can't see, those essences that connect us all. Of course I had to try out my Jedi powers, reaching out with my feelings and asking the particles to come to me. Before my eyes in that ray of light whatever filled that place straightened, and in one continuous flow streamed towards me like a river. I wasn't at all surprised by that.

Danielle Lloyd

So I pushed away, just to see what would happen. At first it appeared as a window curtain does when someone moves it to peak outside, the particles lifted, then separated, before flowing in one continuous stream in the other direction, away from me.

I know what you're thinking, this is just ridiculous, nonsense, crazy talk. After all, without seeing it themselves, who would believe it? No one, I know. So I went through the exercise again. Same results.

Take from that story what you will. I know what I believe from it, but then, I always have believed it, and our mind always seeks, and always finds, reasons to prove our beliefs right.

Just before I sat on the bed, before seeing the light, I caught "The Adjustment Bureau" starring Matt Damon and Emily Blunt. I can't quite put my finger on what it is about her, maybe the whole package, but I'm really into Emily Blunt.

Emily Blunt

The movie is about fate, soul mates and free will, with God running heaven as if its a major corporation, and his "employees" are charged with the task of giving people a slight nudge here and there to make sure we all play our part and everything goes according to plan. To do this they use "doors" that cut through the fabric of the universe, allowing them to move from one side of the planet to another in a moment. Except every once in a while someone (Damon) goes off the path, challenges what fate has in store for them, bucks their destiny, and all hell breaks loose.

Aside from being just a completely excellent movie, I've had these same exact ideas that were in this film floating around in my head, filling my dreams, for the better part of the last two years, right down to the doors, the slight nudges to adjust fate, and the feeling of connection with people as if there was supposed to be something more there, but it wasn't part of the plan, so someone kept it from happening.

Anthony Mackie

There's a line from the film where Anthony Mackie tells Damon "your father was a smart man, very smart, could have been more, wanted to be, but it wasn't part of the plan"

How many times have you felt that way yourself? I know I have many, many times.

Mackie, by the way, is an excellent actor, someone who's been in a lot of films now, but should be bigger than he is. He completely carried "We Are Marshall", which was a film that blew me away. "The Hurt Locker" isn't the same film without him, even if he wasn't the star of the film. His small part in "Real Steel" was well done, and now with this film, in which he's pivotal to the plot, I believe he can play just about any role.

So what did I take out of the entire experience of seeing a film that seemed as if it had been pulled completely from my own head, and turned out to be excellent?

Its Universal Consciousness baby, ever present, all pervasive God Mind. Just like the particles of light floating through the empty spaces, thought, all thought, dance and sway this way and that without any noticeable pattern through our heads, passing from my mind to yours and vice versa even across the great expanse of time and space.

And interesting side note here.... scientists can't explain what light is. Light is light. That's all they can say about it. Light is light. They don't even know where it comes from.

It wouldn't surprise me one bit if all we were, all everything is, are nothing more than those particles dancing in the light. How is it then that so few of us know the dance?

Switching gears a bit, the St. Louis Cardinals 2011 Payroll was 105.4 million and they were 11th in payroll. A full 1/3 of the league has a payroll over 100 million. I don't ever want to hear about anyone "buying" championships again.

The former Miss Venezuela, Eva Ekvall, just died of breast Cancer at 28 years old. How sad is that? I'm not about to tell you to think of that and be happy you don't have it so bad as the holidays roll in, I've always felt that that was a bullshit way of looking at the world. But I will say this, this life is the only thing any of us have, or will ever have, that is ever actually ours, and its all special. So be happy about something, whatever it is, and enjoy all of it as much as possible.

Eva Ekvall

Very uplifting, holiday cheery post today, huh? I know. That's why I kept on with the Sexy Santa Ladies today, who otherwise had nothing to do with anything I was talking about, to balance it all out.

This Aint No White Christmas!

It doesn't look as if we're going to be having any kind of white Christmas in NYC this year, the storm that would have brought the snow ended up being rain, the kind of mist that makes the roads a mess and brings every clown that can't operate a vehicle out to play. GOOD! I can't stand snow, all it does is muck up the works. Thank God for that... or Ra, the sun god.

This morning I forgot my coffee as I ran out the door, left it right on the counter, so this may be a long day. You've all been there before, forgot something you set up specifically to grab for the go only to have an "OH, NO!" moment later when it was too late to go back and there was nothing you could do about it. Don't you hate that?

If you're a coffee addict like me you know how rough the day is when you haven't had that cup of Joe. On top of that, it seems like one of those twilight zone mornings, when its as if you're in a bubble, no one around and nothing going on.

Who the hell is Rod?

Well... the roads WERE terrible and all the bad drivers did in fact come out to get in my way... so THAT's going on. Everyday on the way to work, on the way home, and my lunch break in between I encounter some ass who can't operate machinery and think at the same time wielding a four wheeled mobile death device before my very eyes. I see this, how terrible people are at something as simple as driving, and wonder how it is that we've ever made it this far, and how it is that I can't seem to get ahead in life when there are so many people out there that are just completely backwards.....

And I know you know what I'm talking about. Its the plight of us all.

They've discovered where most of the stones from Stonehenge came from, about 100 miles away in a place called Rhos-y-felin in Wales, and that around the site several sun worshipping stations were erected also. This is what brings up Ra. I won't get too into my ancient alien conspiracies.... they exist, we're alien retards... or sea monkeys. There's no way Stonehenge wasn't a landing pad for a UFO, just like there's no way primitive people could have moved building materials that we can't relocate now 5,000 years ago without a little help from their friends. Their friends being aliens.

Now its got me on a hunt for an MP3 download of Chariots of the Gods, the ancient alien almanac that started it all. I need to know how the Bible is actually an alien text book translated in a way we can understand, without totally blowing our tiny human minds.

There's nothing tiny about the human mind, by the way. Your body has enough energy to power a city. Your mind can do anything.

Warrior was actually a good flik. A little long, and some of the drama scenes were over done and poorly acted, not to mention that it was predictable, but all of those type of movies are. Still, overall very enjoyable, at least for a buck.

Jennifer Morrison , the star of ABC's Once Upon a Time plays a small role in it, and I still can't decide if she's up there or not. She was on House for a long time, and I wasn't sure then either. The best way to put it I guess is that she's really good looking for a woman my age. Take that however you want.

Nick Nolte plays himself in the film. You know how much we love Nick Nolte!

And you'll be happy to know, my inheritance from Nigeria or the secret relative of mine from the U.K., wherever it came from... yeah, its just been released. I don't know the details, but the Barrister has it all under control. They told me so in an email.

If you thought Iran and North Korea were the only ones we have to worry about nuking us, think again. Russia is developing a 100 ton ballistic missile and threatening to pull out of whatever new treaty we have with them to disarm our nuclear weapons. Seems like the more things change, the more they stay the same. And looking at what our society has become since the end of the cold war, how stupid, lazy and complacent our people have become, do you think we're really prepared for this sort of thing? I doubt it.

Geez, Russians, nukes, aliens, warriors and a White Christmas.... what the hell am I talking about? This sounds like the makings of a Schwarzenegger flik from 1986. Like I said, its a weird morning.

Thank RA for Sexy Santa's. Without them this whole mess today would seem like a major downer. Its just the way my day is going, which tells you all you need to know about how I feel about the Law Of Attraction. Stub your toe in the morning and your whole day is shot.

And tell me Rudy Ray Moore wasn't THE BEST! We lost a giant right there, and you didn't even know it, did you?

I had better get out of here though before this really gets out of hand. Maybe tomorrow I'll represent myself better. Like I've said before.....

The Losing Culture

The Man had asked me to take a ride, he had to drop something off to a particular See You Next Tuesday that neither of us could stand, and he didn't want to deal with her alone. The real issue was that he didn't want to go to jail for hauling off and punching her dead in the face, a very realistic probability. The minute I had gotten into the car my stomach tied in a knot and a deep anxiety over took me.

It wasn't that he can't drive and my life was in danger that did it; he can't, and it was, but that wasn't it. What gave me that uneasiness, I discovered later, was that I despise this person so much that the idea of being around her was making me sick. As soon as he did what he had to do, and we left her at some random ghetto bodega, the anxiety, the knot in my stomach..... they completely disappeared.

James Brown

On the way home, turning to the right to see a woman that looked exactly like James Brown a thought came over me that made many of my recent struggles come clearly into focus. It had nothing to do with the God Mother of Soul. HEH!

Danielle Lloyd

In sports we often talk about certain teams, the ones that never win and seem to always find ways to lose even when the fete appears unthinkable, the franchises that do every thing all wrong and can never end the trend, having what they call "Losing Cultures". These teams are so defined by their losing ways that its all they seem to know how to do. It gets to the point where its all pervasive, it fills every member of the organization, from the front office to the coach and right down to the players themselves.

All one has to do is to watch them once, see the lethargy with which they approach their daily activity and its clear as day.... its as if their will has been broken, that they've lost hope of better days, they've given up. These teams expect to lose, and so they do.

Alessandra Ambrosio

When it comes to turning things around for these franchises they very first thing they do is talk about "Changing the Culture" of the organization. But when people are conditioned to lose on a daily basis its nearly impossible to turn them around and snap them out of it. Just like with social programs such as welfare, psychologically, when people get used to a thing you just can't take it away from them. So the only option left is to dump everyone on the club with that losers mentality and replace them with people who not only know how, but expect to win.

This concept of the Losing Culture isn't exclusive to sports, it infiltrates every group in life whether that be a business, a family, group of friends or anything else. When morale is low it affects everyone. When everyone morale is low its like walking into a dive bar full of old men with no teeth, rancid breath, and all of them passed out with their heads on the counter. There aren't going to be any supermodels walking through that door, no new money coming in, nothing. It just continues to stay the same until those old men die off or the bar goes under. Depressing, isn't it?

I'm always going on about support systems and how imperitive they are to success, yet when I walked into my house and looked around, when I looked back at the groups of people I had surrounded myself with, it struck me that I am currently, and have always been, a member of a losing culture. Not only had I been trained to lose, and to expect to do so every time, but so had everyone else around me.

This is where preachers of the Law Of Attraction and Success Principles the world over will tell you every time that you have to get as far away from negative people as you can, because they will infect you with their losing ways and drag you down with them. The only way to change that, to save yourself and break through to the winning side is to change the culture.

But how does one just cut off their friends? Worse yet, how do they cut off their family? Unless you're just completely cold hearted its all but impossible, isn't it? Its especially difficult when, like you, they too were raised in that same losing culture, and the losing ways were never really their fault.

There are way more people out there in the world that have been subjected to this very thing than there aren't, and the real bitch of it all is that they, more than anyone else, need positive people, positive influences, what we call WINNERS, to help them make that positive change in their lives. Except these winners want nothing to do with them, afterall, who wants their own winning culture to be infected with someone else's losing ways? Who wants to be dragged down? No one.

That right there, my friends, that space in between, is the gap we need to find a bridge to cross if we, as a society, are ever going to close the separation between the have's and the have nots. But it takes real courage from both in order to do so, a social courage that's in short supply in today's world.

One person who doesn't seem to have this problem is University of Georgia Head Football Coach Mark Richt. It had come out that he had been paying is assistants and support staff who make his job possible out of his own pocket with the school he worked for refused to do so. That's called integrity, and I now have a new, deep respect for this man, and will now root for the Georgia Bulldogs as long as he's a part of what they do there. I hope we can all learn from his example.

On a stranger note, a kid with two heads was born in Brazil recently. You have to read this article, they explain how normally cut off one of the heads very nonchalantly, but couldn't do it with this one because they're both healthy heads.

My final Christmas message to you, my hope, my wish from you all, is that these holidays you change you mind set to be more like Mark Richt. Take it upon yourself to show the people around you who may be down on their luck that they too can be a winner in life, and make sure that you help see them through to the other side. You might not just be saving one life, but changing the culture for an entire troupe of people. And what else could this time of year really be about?

And now Santa and that lovely young lady up top will be moving us towards ringing in that New Year, so I'm out of here for now.

The Turduckin was worth the wait....

It takes about eight hours to cook one of those bad boys, but what do you expect from a turkey that's been stuffed with a duck that's been stuffed with a chicken that's been stuffed with stuffing? To add a little extra to the mix, as if it needed anything more, we covered the birds with bacon, because everything is better with bacon. I put bacon in my cheerios. This is why people are so damn fat is this country.

We got a late jump on the cooking process and hadn't eaten a thing all day outside of a few dessert pastries. Not one of us had eaten. We were starting to get on each others nerves, now this is the kind of Christmas I'm used to, everyone getting on each others nerves.

"Shut Up! Shut Up!" I heard my buddy Anthony yelling at Ringo from the other room. My brother Ringo has his problems, he lacks the social graces that most people expect from others, and this has kept him from experiencing life the same way as the "normal" every day person, which in turn leads to more lack in social areas, and this is coming from me, a guy who pisses off pretty much every one that meets me.

But Ringo is also a great kid, a far better person than I've ever been, and while he shows very little fear and will just about punch anyone dead in the face without a moments thought if you rub his rhubarb wrong, he often overestimates his skill in certain areas, and needs to be protected in others. Ringo very well may have punched Anthony dead in the face, and he would have deserved it to, you don't tell another grown man to "Shut Up", much less yell it, unless you're a bully, a spoiled ass, or simply lack respect, so you get what's coming to you if it happens. Of course, Anthony would really put a hurting on my brother afterwards, which is something I wasn't going to allow. This whole thing could quickly tumble out of control, so I went in there.

Anthony is a pretty big guy, in good shape, and whether it was that or the fact that we were in The Man's house on Christmas and didn't want to cause trouble, Ringo simply put his game controller down and walked out of the room. He sat on the couch and didn't say anything the rest of the night, and he was the one who bought the bird.

It's good nothing went down like that, my broken wrist isn't right yet and I can't be getting into any freys, especially with friends of mine, but had it been that way I would have had something for him. You wouldn't know it from looking at me, but I grew up a fighter, and have since been trained to do certain things. A few months before I began writing this blog a few punks around the neighborhood also thought they'd get tough with my brother, three of them believed they were going to jump him and I wasn't going to do a thing about it. It didn't work out so well for them. And it wouldn't have for my friend either. In Anthony's mind right now he would destroy me if it were to get into that. In his mind.

Just like the punks in the street, he wouldn't have known what hit him. But then, No Body Expects the Spanish Inquisition!

But that's not what this was about. You have to understand, my buddy Anthony is a great guy too, you just have to know him. That's the same exact thing anyone would say about me, and he's definitely more main stream than I am. If you put it to the social test, the polls would agree with him and I'd be the one who's nuts. So its not about that, its the lesson in the day.

Adriana Lima

The Knick game was long over and there was no football this Sunday due to the holiday, so we were deep into hunger and boredom already when Anthony walked in. Ringo loves video games, and he likes to create characters in his wrestling game based on the characters from my first novel VPI: The Saga Begins and watch them fight it out. Personally I think wrestling is for fruits and 12 year olds, but millions of guys everywhere can't get enough of the shit, and its Ringo's thing. Besides, its at least as entertaining as any of the other garbage that's on TV, and if he's enjoying it, if it makes him happy, then what do you care?

"WHAT IS THIS?" Anthony was screaming right away, "YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" The Man and I didn't much care either way at that point, we were hungry and wrecked, but Anthony went on a twenty minute tirade ripping the entire affair apart for how ridiculous it was. I can't say he's wrong, the amount of things I'd rather do is probably incalculable. Of course, there Anthony was getting into it a few minutes later, at points cheering the action on before stepping back and tearing into it again. This is how it started, and the two of them didn't get along for the rest of the day.

Izabel Goulart

How often have you been ripped apart like that for doing something you enjoy, whatever it is? How often have you done it to others? This is how society gets you to conform. This is how individualism is stamped out. It can be so deflating to someone's spirit. Most people will hang their head and never do something they really enjoy because of it.

AH, but the self actualized person doesn't care. They just do what they do.

By the time the Turducken came out of the oven we were on edge, Ringo was obviously upset, and I felt bad for him. But when that bad boy hit the table it all went away. There wasn't a sound for a half an hour as the four of us devoured a meal that was meant for at least twice that many. Turduckin has so many flavors that its difficult to describe them all, so I won't even bother trying, the important thing is that it was so damn good that the irritation we had all felt just a short time before had magically melted away. We were all happy, having a good time once more.

The Turduckin was worth the wait.

Later on, after we left, I had to help pick up Ringo's spirits. I told him to remember, if you're into something then chances are someone else is into it to, so don't listen to what other people have to say about it. Sure enough, upon researching the subject we found that Playstation online has thousands upon thousands of characters for this wrastling game that others out there had to spent a ton of time with perfecting for others to use, things like a Bruce Lee that looks and fights just like the real guy. Youtube is full of video's that other people had made of their own characters fighting it out in the squared circle, just like Ringo likes to do with his time.

Sure enough, an activity that one guy sneered and turned his nose up at and attempted to tear down proved to be something so much bigger to so many others. My brother was validated once he found a circle of people that was just like him.

The lesson I'm getting at here is this: Don't listen to other people when they try to tear you down for who you are and what you do. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. As Louise Hay would say, "what other people think about you is none of your business". Chances are they have no idea what the hell they're talking about, and if you just do your thing, eventually others out there will appreciate it just as much as you do.

In some sad news, the Chimp who played Cheeta in Tarzan died at the age of 80.

"He could tell if I was having a good day or a bad day. He was always trying to get me to laugh if he thought I was having a bad day. He was very in tune to human feelings," Cobb was quoted as saying.

Ron Priest, a sanctuary volunteer, told the Tribune that Cheetah stood out because he could walk upright with a straight back like a human, and was distinguished by other talents.

"When he didn't like somebody or something that was going on, he would pick up some poop and throw it at them. He could get you at 30 feet with bars in between," Priest said.

Cheetah could walk like a man, had empathy and the will to make people happy, and could fling shit like a champ. What a Chimp! R.I.P.

Its a long strange life, isn't it?

The end of the year snuck up on me, I thought I'd have some more time to do something a little more special, but man does it all go by so quickly. And at the same time, looking back it seems like this year dragged on forever. I think I've been four or five different people since I've started doing this blog in August, four of five more in the dark days that preceded that; there are a great many of those people I was that I didn't like very much, but the idea is to leave those inferior versions of ourselves behind, back in the dust, let go and move on to be something, someone, more.

Cindy Lauper said it best when she said "Oh shit, my career is over". No, no, kidding, totally kidding, she said it best when she said "Girls just want to have fun", or when she sang it to be more precise. Just from general observation and my own experience, that's as true a statement as any other. SO... helping us out today with the last post of the 2011 will be Playboy's Playmates of the Year from 2000 - 2010. I thought that would be fitting.

2000 Jodi Ann Paterson

I've still got that issue with Jodi Ann Paterson stashed away somewhere, I know because I remembered this shot right away.

This isn't going to be one of those "Best of 2011" nonsense articles that you're going to be seeing everywhere on just about everyTHING, no, I'll leave that to everyone else. It's not just because everyone else is doing it, they are, but because I tend to find those things completely ridiculous. Have you ever seen a "Best of" anything that didn't have something in the order that made you scream "What the F are you talking about!" ? Same goes for the "Worst of"....

2001: Brande Roderick

Who the hell gets to decide these things anyway? It's all very subjective, like the saying goes, one man's trash is another man's treasure, and personally I find most of what's main stream to be completely ridiculous. The Yankees didn't win the World Series this year, that's firmly in my "Worst of" list. If you even give a damn at all there's a good chance you just let out a hearty cheer. See what I mean?

2002: Dalene Kurtis

Somewhere in there I got the best birthday present I've ever gotten from the very same person that turned me on to this site to be able to pump these pieces out to you every day. Both of those were great things for me this year, but that same person also drove me absolutely ape shit for months, and most of that was due to my own neurosis. So there's no point to any of that either. I honestly don't know what my personal best of 2011 is, nor do I know my worst, much less want to rehash that.

2003: Christina Santiago

Too often we get caught up in looking back on the past anyway. How many of us lead our lives that way, carrying all the crap we were supposed to leave behind into every encounter we have right now? The answer is most of us, so continuing with the exercise is just poor practice and no way to start off the new year, even if it is meant to just be a reflection on all that is no more.

2004: Carmella DeCesare

Looking ahead to the future is a minefield just as dangerous. None of it has happened yet, its all in our imagination, and the old "New Years Resolution" is a convenient mechanism for justifying procrastination. January 1 on the calendar isn't going to change any of the wrong actions any of us have taken in the countless days and years that came before.... its another "I'll do it when..." and quickly becomes next year.

2005: Tiffany Fallon

There aint no time like the present, which is a stupid thing to say while I show off pictures of women who were beautiful ten years ago but could look more like the southbound end of a northbound mule at the moment for all I know, but it also happens to be true. There IS no time but the present, right now, this moment....

2006: Kara Monaco

And what I know, right now, in this moment, is that through my many trials and tribulations of 2011, because of them, as the old is swept under the rug and the new about to be rolled out, I am a far stronger, wiser, and dare I say better man, and better person, than I was when the year started.

2007: Sara Jean Underwood

There won't be any listing of accomplishments or blowing myself now either. If I could do that I wouldn't be wasting my time typing this, I'd be at home taking action. You have all come with me over the past few months through a journey of nonsense and self discovery, and if you're a fan of this page you already know all of the "accomplishments" I may have gained.....

2008: Jayde Nicole

There have been times when I was able to tap into the better parts of who I am, as well as the good I see in others, and presented a path that would be a warmer, friendlier road to travel through this long strange thing we call life. Moving forward, these are the characteristics and ideals that need to be focused upon, nurtured, brought to life.

There have been times when I pissed and moaned, bitched and complained, or assassinated the character of certain people that I really know nothing about and am way off base on. In the past few days, something in the holidays I guess, I've come to see clear as can be that everything that I've ever complained about in other people was never anything more than bitching at myself for the things I see in me that I don't like and can't accept.

Its such an important concept, a HUGE one.....

2009: Ida Ljungqvist

Moving forward, my focus has to be on those things, the improvements I can make in myself, and to me, that's what New Years Celebrations are really about, not looking back, but moving forward.

In the coming days you'll be getting an opportunity to look into the entire maddening thought processes that I've gone through in the time we've been together and see just what a mad man I really am, how great, and how terrible. The "Best Of" and the "Worst Of" coalesce into a whole person, into a life, my life, your life, and its the same way for us all, those we love, those we hate. We all go through the same process, even if yours may be a clearer, cleaner path than my own. Its an important idea to keep in mind when we look at other people and ask what the hell is wrong with them, or pontificate on their greatness. Out there somewhere someone is doing the same thing to you, but in the end, we're all the same really.

2010: Hope Dworaczyk

Thank You so much for allowing me to share the many things that I have so far. My hope, moving forward, is that we can all look at the ways that we can improve ourselves and our situations in life to cross that magical threshold into the life we want to live. My hope, moving forward, is that before we judge one another, put each other down or point our fuckin fingers and say "That's the bad guy!", we take a step back and understand we're all screwed up in some way and just trying to do our best to make it through, whatever it is we're trying to get through, in the only ways we know how to deal, and that idea will lead to a little more compassion in the world. My hope, moving forward, is that we begin to mold a new reality, one that's closer to the heart, further from your iPod.

And I hope I can find a way to do this for a living, because its fun.

That's all folks!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Its a long strange life, isn't it?

2011-12-30T11:34:00.002-05:00

2000 Jodi Ann Paterson

2001: Brande Roderick

2002: Dalene Kurtis

2003: Christina Santiago

2004: Carmella DeCesare

2005: Tiffany Fallon

2006: Kara Monaco

2007: Sara Jean Underwood

2008: Jayde Nicole

Its such an important concept, a HUGE one.....

2009: Ida Ljungqvist

Moving forward, my focus has to be on those things, the improvements I can make in myself, and to me, that's what New Years Celebrations are really about, not looking back, but moving forward.

2010: Hope Dworaczyk

And I hope I can find a way to do this for a living, because its fun.

That's all folks!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

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The Turduckin was worth the wait....

2011-12-28T12:04:00.005-05:00

Adriana Lima

Izabel Goulart

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The Losing Culture

2011-12-22T17:35:00.002-05:00

James Brown

Danielle Lloyd

Alessandra Ambrosio

And now Santa and that lovely young lady up top will be moving us towards ringing in that New Year, so I'm out of here for now.

Later People!

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This Aint No White Christmas!

2011-12-21T14:50:00.002-05:00

Who the hell is Rod?

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The hole in the soul and Universal Consciousness

2011-12-20T14:54:00.001-05:00

My Happy Place

Danielle Lloyd

Emily Blunt

Anthony Mackie

Eva Ekvall

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Sexy Santa and the Christmas Spirit?

2011-12-19T13:28:00.001-05:00

I tried to do it myself once, tried my sexy on for size, this is how it came out...

eh, I was weaker than a little girl before the arm thing, so who am I kidding?

Danielle Lloyd

It's both good and bad, but this time its exactly what I needed. Besides.... this spot is all about accentuating the positives, isn't it?

And really, there's a lot to be positive about, little to get upset over.

Little things like that are what's great about life though, when you're close enough to someone to break balls without it meaning a damn thing, and you can laugh about it.

Whatever though. There's plenty of time to straighten up, we'll worry about that after the New Year. You've got to love this girls hips.

Kim Jong Il was GREAT in Team America: World Police!

That's not very nice though. I have to work harder at this. Like that fine, upstanding young lady up above, I'm going to get out there, hit the trail, and find that Christmas spirit!

Later People!

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TAKE.... This broken wing....

2011-12-15T13:36:00.000-05:00

Charity Hodges

These are the people that become career politicians. These are the people that run our country. Do you still wonder why things are such a mess out there?
As for who's running things, well, I still have my reservations as to exactly who that is, but President Obama thanked the troops and spoke about the official end to the war in Iraq..... yet 16,000 Americans are still going to be staying there.

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Small Victories and something to look forward to.

2011-12-14T12:27:00.000-05:00

Its the small victories everyday that build confidence by constantly reinforcing the ideal that not only CAN you win, but that you WILL win, every day. You grow to expect it.

Small wins every day make you believe that....

THAT'S RIGHT! Thank you Winston Churchill! You tell em'!

And its up to us to put ourselves in as many situations as you can where there's no better feeling in the world.

We look forward to things because we hope they will give us some of that feeling. You can never give yourself too much of that, but take it away and what have you really got?

Kylie Bisutti

But that's all for now.

Later People!

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The Huh? Show

2011-12-13T12:51:00.000-05:00

Come on, you know that one. You've seen it plenty of times before whenever anyone asked the hard questions....

Then of course there's the "You know exactly what I'm talking about, Huh?" I've been known to make these same faces in this same situation.... sometimes while I'm still in the bar... good man!

Is that Amanda Peet? GOD, I love that stupid look on her face. Who says there isn't anything to smile about these days?

Well, I don't know if I'm going to.... handle it.... but if you needed another reason, this is why porn is the BEST! It can make anything fun, can't it?

I don't think there's anything at all that I can add to that.

Katy Perry. Huh. That there bright eyed Elmo looks surprised. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, don't they? There just may be something to that, huh?

But if you want a lesson here you go... sometimes you have to just say to hell with it all and goof off.... its the best way to stay up.

And as long as we're going with meaningless affairs....

HUH! That could be some meaningless fun for a while. I'm sure that'll help keep me, uh... up.

Whatever. It would take a while for you to know all my Huhs, so there's no point to going on with any more of this. Have a good one, then spread the.... love.

Later People!

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