Where the Anheuser is always cold

BIG NEWS!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 05:26:00 +0000

We here at tasty booze have moved into new digs.

You can now find us at http://www.tastybooze.com

We only made the move yesterday so you may see changes over the next couple of weeks.

Follow us over to the new site for new tasty booze posts everyday.

Batman Sighting Puts Schools on Lockdown

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Honcho) — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 16:46:00 +0000

Robin: Holy nightmare, Batman!

Batman: Looks like the Riddler is loose to plague us with his criminal conundrums.

Robin: We'd better batapult out of here and go catch him!! Ka-pow!

Check out these retards who actually "saw" Batman.

A Little Something for the Ladies

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 00:00:00 +0000

Well guys it might be a little late in the day for this post but if you fucked up and forgot a gift for your lady you just might be able to redeem yourself.

Sex Researcher Beverly Whipple, PH. D surveyed 5000 women and came up with a list of the top ten positions that are most likely to make your lady have an orgasm.

You know there are two types of female orgasm: the real and the fake. And I'll tell you right now, as a man, we don't know. We do not know, because to man sex is like a car accident and determining the female orgasm is like being asked 'What did you see after the car went out of control?'. 'I heard a lot of screeching sounds. I remember I was facing the wrong way at one point. And in the end my body was thrown clear.
--Jerry Seinfeld

Now I didn't say this would be easy. Chances are if you really did forgot you have probably fucked up enough that you aren't going to be getting any action tonight anyway. But as my good friend The Berg says "Persistence beats Resistance".

Top 10 Female Positions

Technorati: sex girls orgasm Seinfeld

10 Best Five O'Clock Shadows Ever

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 19:51:00 +0000

I love the weekends because it means I am free from the office and can grow a sweet ass 5 o'clock shadow. It always gets me a little depressed on Monday morning when I have bust out the Mach 3 so I look presentable at the office.

DoubleViking.com has created a list of the 10 best 5 o'clock shadows of all time along with the reasons why they are ranked there. The hairdo that Don Johnson is sporting in his photo is reason enough to check out the list.

10 Best Five O'Clock Shadows Ever

Technorati: Funny Humor Comedy

Evangelical War on Science

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 18:17:00 +0000

I think this is a fairly disturbing video. I was so angry about it last night I had to wait and write this post this morning. These crazy ass Evangelicals are teaching hundreds of small children at a time that science is bad, the bible is literally a history book and that humans and dinosaurs co-existed.

Now I understand that they have to give these presentations to small children. Anyone over 14 who hasn't been indoctrinated by these people could tear their arguments apart.

I am not sure what is scary. All these children being indoctrinated with this kind of false information or the fact that their parents are ignorant enough to believe it as well.

These guys are teaching these children that Earth was created by God about 6000 years ago despite the mountains of scientific evidence showing the world is roughly 4 billion years old. For reference, 6000 years ago is about the time dogs evolved and roughly 1000 years after the Sumerians invented glue.

Technorati: Evangelical Science Right Wing

Ghost Ride the Whip!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 03:20:00 +0000

This video is just flat out awesome. While in pursuit of a bank robber this female office manages to ghost ride her whip and shoot the robber who was trying to gun her down.

I like her style.

Technorati: Cop Ghost Ride Funny Humor Entertainment

The latest warning signs from the Department of Homeland Security

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 23:01:00 +0000

Try to absorb as much of the radiation as possible with your groin region. The current world record is 5 minutes, 12 seconds.

If your intended destination is suddenly vaporized, consider pulling over and watching the cool light show.

safenow.org

Technorati: Security Humor Funny Entertainment Comedy Warning Signs

On a Serious Note....Global Warming

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 21:30:00 +0000

The short answer to this is that I don't buy it. Do we humans have an effect on the environment and the overall climate? Sure. But I do think there is nearly enough evidence that we or our greenhouse gases are the sole cause. No, in fact I think it is very egocentric and pompous of us to think we have put the planet on a collison course with doom in just 200 years of industry.

After seeing a ridiculous commerical from StopGlobalWarming.org last night I decided to check out their website. The banner at the top of their site had the following piece of propaganda:

"All ten of the hottest years on record, globally, have occured in the last fifteen years."

So I said to myself "Self, I wonder how many years are on record?" After some quick Google work I found the Temperature Record entry on Wikipedia. It states:

"The most detailed information exists since 1850, when methodical thermometer-based records began."

So we have 157 years worth of hard data. We know that the Earth is roughly 4 billion years old. If you do the math that means we have hard data on 0.000003925% of the years Earth has been in existence. Experts agree that Earth has gone through 4 major Ice Ages. One can conclude then that there must have been 4 major thaws. There could have been thousands of years of increasingly warmer temperatures to melt all of that ice. I don't think 1o years in a sample size of 0.000003925% is anything to get panties bunched up about.

In fact some scientists are now saying they believe the Sun and Cosmic rays have more to do with climate change on Earth the we humans ever have.

Despite my stance on Global Warming I do believe in pollution controls. I don't think we need to be belching millions of tons of black smoke into the atmosphere for any reason. However I don't think getting people riled up over a made up dooms day climate scenario is the best way to reduce industrial pollution.

Technorati: Global Warming Environment Temperature Climate

Fresh Whole Rabbit - Amazon.com

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 18:28:00 +0000

I was trolling through Amazon.com's list of Valentine's Day: Bad Gift Ideas trying to find a last minute gift for my lady friend when I came across this gem of a product. Who doesn't want a skinned dead rabbit for only $29.50? This would make an outstanding gift for any holiday occasion.

Scroll down the product page and read the customer reviews. They are great and very informative.
Fresh Whole Rabbit

Technorati: Rabbit Amazon.com Valentines Day Comedy Humor Entertainment

Touching Lady Parts Mouse Pad

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 18:03:00 +0000

This mouse pad says one of two things about you if you use it.

1. I'm a pervert and proud of it.
2. This makes me feel better about the fact I have never done this in real life and won't be in the foreseeable future.

Technorati: Mouse Mouse Pad Funny Humor Entertainment Computers

How To Survive a Horror Movie!

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 16:49:00 +0000

This list has a lot of sound advice to help you survive if you find yourself in a horror movie like situation. My personel favorite:

"As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open portals to Hell."

This is just a flat out good life rule. There is really no reason to be doing anything that is going to open a portal to Hell. It really can't be good for anyone.

How To Survive a Horror Movie!

Technorati: Horror Movie Survival Funny Humor Comedy

All Hail the "DAMN IT!"

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 05:11:00 +0000

In honor of tonights two hour episode I thought I would put up a little montage of classic Bauer.

The clip starts with a brief Jay Leno interview and then goes into every "DAMN IT!" that Jack Bauer has yelled from seasons 1 - 4.

Technorati: TV 24 Jack Bauer

Two Full Hours of 24!?

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 03:59:00 +0000

I think I might have an erection.

Technorati: TV 24 Jack Bauer

I love LEGO

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 21:23:00 +0000

I loved building shit with LEGO's when I was a kid. Every Christmas I would ask for the biggest baddest set that LEGO had to offer. Most of the time Mom & Dad would come through and hook me up. I think they loved the fact I would spend Christmas afternoon frantically trying to get the set together and they could have piece and quiet.

Toward the end of my time with LEGO's the TECHNIC sets were the shit to have. I remember I got the rescue helicopter with working wenches and a joystick in the cockpit that controlled the rotor pitch...SWEET!!

Well the above Millenium Falcon now takes the cake as the baddest mofo on the block. It comes in with over 5000 pieces and a price tag of $499 making it officially the biggest LEGO set ever sold.

LEGO Store-Millenium Falcon

Technorati: LEGO Star Wars Millenium Falcon

Now this is a Blizzard!

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 17:11:00 +0000

Here in the great Emerald City things shut down any time there is more than an inch of snow on the ground. I think we almost had two inches this winter and it was goddamn pandemonium. People at my office called in with the "snowed in" excuse for two days.

These poor bastards in upstate New York are closing in on the 100 inch mark after only 4 or 5 days of snow. Click the link to see some other crazy pictures of this blizzard. Good thing we have that global warming kicking in otherwise the whole city might have been buried.

Now this is a Blizzard!

Amazing Goal by Ronaldinho

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 02:21:00 +0000

The goal is amazing but listen closely to the announcer he really makes this clip.

What Your Drink Says About You

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Honcho) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 02:11:00 +0000

By now, it’s no secret that one of my favorite hobbies, besides collecting Beanie Babies and hunting mimes for sport, is binge drinking. I admit, this is perhaps not the wisest way to drink. Mixing up my beverages so defiantly might make a bold statement about fuck and you, but it’s also a recipe for a killer hangover.

The point is, as a generalist in the liquor arena and a slightly-paranoid social critic, I’ve noticed that the drink you choose, as an accessory, says a lot about you. Sure, there are easy stereotypes about beer-swilling frat boys and martini-sipping debutantes, but the scope of social commentary is as wide as the selection at the nearest bar. So take a trip with me, won’t you, and discover what the drink in your hand says about joy in your heart.

Read the article.

Ahhhh.....memories

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 01:27:00 +0000

I did something last night that I haven't done in a long time. I walked into a store that was selling beer and I walked out with a case of Busch Light. I am no stranger to the Busch Light. There were about 4 years of my life when I drank more BL than water or any other liquid for that matter. Granted not a lot of my memories have me leaving the store with only one case, it was usually at least two if not four.

If you have followed this blog off and on for the last two years or read through our archives you have seen many funny quotes from our friend KU. All most all of those gems are a direct result of the BL consumption.

Don't get me wrong even with all the memories and good times a can of BL is no boggs. But there is a time a place where it is nice to visit an old friend. I think I am going to have to start showing up to that place about once a month.

6. mullhawk: punk as fuck.

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Sun, 11 Feb 2007 02:20:00 +0000

Mulletude: 5
Aggressiveness: 3
Hobbies: punk as fuck.
Sightings: punk as fuck.
Favorite Band: Offspring (i know, i know, they're not really punk, dumbass).

Mullets Galore

You don't want to miss the 11 o'clock news....trust me.

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Sun, 11 Feb 2007 01:49:00 +0000

The Dan Band - Total Eclipse of the Heart

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Sun, 11 Feb 2007 01:34:00 +0000

In case have been living with your head in the sand and don't know who The Dan Band is I thought I would throw this up.

These guys are coming to Seattle on 2/24 and you can bet your ass I am going to be in the front row.

A Real Arab Asshole

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 16:47:00 +0000

Man accused in 'sex contract' case enters no-contest plea

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 03:40:00 +0000

Must just be awesome parent day here at tasty booze. I heard about this story while I was listening to the Adam Corolla show driving into work this morning.

The case arose after the woman, afraid of losing her boyfriend while recuperating from surgery, allegedly arranged to have her daughter be his sex partner for two months. Evidence includes the girl's testimony of a contract signed by all three that specifies sexual services and the "pay" the girl would get.

What is going on? What the fuck was this lady thinking?

If this is the kind of sound decision making that Mom usually makes I am concerned about what else this 15 year old has been a victim of.

Man accused in 'sex contract' case enters no-contest plea

By the Power of Grayskull! I have the power!

noreply@blogger.com (Mitch Martin) — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 23:12:00 +0000

I wish I knew someone in India who could send me a bottle of this stuff. I would be screaming "By the power of Grayskull" all night.

Douche Bag of the Week

noreply@blogger.com (Mike Honcho) — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 22:29:00 +0000

Here's a submission for Douche Bag of the Week. To me it's a hands-down winner, but there have been some other douches this week that might get nominations. We'll have to wait and see. An excerpt from the story below:

The father of a young girl who died of exposure had knocked her unconscious because he was angry she wouldn't go to bed, then took her outside in freezing temperatures and left her there, police said before the man's arraignment Thursday.