THERE'S Baby Miller!

Just Checkin In :)

2016-07-07T14:35:00.000-07:00

Hi friends! We recently connected with a childhood friend of ours, who happens to be a photographer. Isn't it wonderful and convenient that I know so many photographers?? ;) lol Anyway, Laura K. Moore captured some beautiful photos of our little family and I just had to share a few of my favorites. We're so happy with how they came out!!

^they're showing each other the rocks they found ;)

My handsome 2 year old!

Can't believe that Nol will be 1 next week!

Crazy about my boys!

If I had to sum up this stage of life in one word it would be "Constant." :) Elias is curious, rambunctious, and just BUSY. Nolan is starting to follow suit as he gets older. He has a more determined spirit than Elias, and does not have the concept of fear. They keep me on my toes all day. The boys are the best of friends and my heart just swells as I watch their relationship continue to grow. The four of us are so blessed and so thankful to have each other. <3

Happy/Not-so-Happy Mother's Day

2016-05-06T13:40:00.000-07:00

My last post was in OCTOBER. What the...??! Remember when I would write like once a week? That was fun. lol. I'm in a constant state of crazy at this stage in our young family and unfortunately writing hasn't been at the top of my priority list. But I do like reflecting around Mother's Day. So, if you don't mind, I'm going to randomly pop in and pretend like it hasn't been forever since my last post. lol

Motherhood is challenging and stressful at times, but after the years of longing and fighting for it over and over again, it truly is a gift that I don't take for granted. I drink in Elias' kisses, his crazy nap hair, his constant gibberish, how he seriously says "Mommy" multiple times every minute. I love Nolan's sweet smile, hearing his man size burps, and seeing his face light up whenever Elias is around. My house is chaos, there are dirty hand prints on my walls, I'm up to my ears in laundry, and I'm tired pretty much all the time. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I have two beautiful, happy, healthy sons. I could not be more thankful that they are the ones that God entrusted to Ryan and I to raise. But there are 10 other babies in my heart that never made it to my arms. I get sad when I remember our embryos from IVF who didn't stick, the miscarriages, and the failed adoption. Overall, I still have many mixed emotions on Mother's Day and I wonder if that will ever change. I kinda hope not. I think it's healthy to remember some level of pain so that I can empathize with other women who are hurting around me. That's real life, you know? Not everyone is 100% happy on Mother's Day.

So I said this last year, and I'm going to say it again. If you are in the trenches of infertility, remembering past miscarriage(s), mourning for children that you've lost, struggling over broken family relationships, grieving the loss of your own mother, if you find yourself hurting in any way on Sunday, just know that you're in my heart. Whether it is a seasonal trial or years of heartache that doesn't have an end in sight, you don't need to feel guilty for being sad. I guarantee that there are other women out there who feel the way you do, and it's ok to cry if you need to. <3

Nolan - 3 Months

2015-10-21T20:47:00.001-07:00

Month three has been a turning point for Nolan. He is a much happier boy since switching to soy formula. He's sleeping through the night and has gotten into a great daytime schedule. With those original frustrations behind us, we've been able to just focus on relationship building. :) He is all about one on one time and loves making eye contact, cooing, and smiling. He's starting to pay more attention to Elias, although big brother's loud voice, rough toy playing, and clumsy hugs sometimes makes him uneasy. ;)

Our big boy is about 16 pounds and already wearing 9 month clothes and size 3 diapers. He's doing really well with head control. He loves standing up and carries his weight surprisingly well. Sitting in the Bumbo has become a regular activity, especially at mealtime.

Looks like we've started the process of teething. ::moan:: He's drooling like crazy and always going to town on his fist. Elias has always been a terrible teether. I'm really hoping that Nolan's teeth pop through faster than the long drawn out process we're used to around here.

Anyway, that's about it. Here are some pictures from month 3! :)

First time in a kangaroo carry, now that he's got good head control. :)

Cutest sad face ever! Brother and cousin Derek got a little too loud for him. lol

Mommy's little shopping buddy

Bumbo time

Grab all the lovies! :) He loves nuzzling his face against his soft animal friends.

Enjoying the beach with Daddy

Kissy kissy. Love my little cutie boy. <3

Nolan - 2 Months

2015-09-15T12:32:00.001-07:00

Nolan, Nolan, Nolan. lol. Month 2 was easier than Month 1 in some ways, and more challenging in others. His acid reflux medication definitely helped alleviate much of the discomfort that was pretty constant before. He is actually able to lay down without crying now. But he still struggles with gas, despite our efforts with gas drops and trying to get burps out of him. We just switched him over to soy formula this weekend and that has made a world of difference! He's not grunting and wriggling around anymore. So I'm hoping that helps his sleep, which is also a big challenge. He's been a very light day sleeper up to this point, only napping 45 minutes or so before jolting himself awake. Swaddling, laying him in his bed, laying him on our bed, running a fan, dark room, sound machine, positioning him differently - nothing seems to make a lasting difference. Anyway, hopefully the formula change allows me to get him into a better routine and we can start seeing some improvements in his sleep. Reflux, gas, light sleep, lol, he is a bit high maintenance! But I feel like we're finally starting to get the right combination of players in place for him. Praying that month 3 is the turning point for us!

Challenges aside, we are starting to see smiles and personality come out of him which has been so nice! His sweet coos and big grins are so encouraging during the rough days. Like he just wants to assure me that he loves me and knows I'm doing what I can to help him. :)

I love seeing the growing affection that Elias has for him. He gets excited to see him in the morning, loves giving kisses, and tries to be a good helper. It's so sweet. I can't wait until Nolan starts responding to him. :)

Visiting the doctor with big brother.

Looking up at me while I wear him around the house. :)

Getting fresh and clean!

Sleepy grins

Daddy smooches

My little swaddle-buster. Always so happy in the morning.

Cuddle bug. :)

First day that we started seeing results from switching formula. Transitioned from being worn to the car to his bed without waking. Success!

Our little handsome. :)

Nolan - 1 month

2015-08-29T16:11:00.001-07:00

Well I touched on the first couple weeks of Nolan's life last post on recovery. But I did want to make sure to do an official one month post before we hit the two month mark. :) Nolan is so different than Elias was at the newborn stage. We love him to pieces, but I gotta say, he's been kind of a fussy kid. lol. He is very clingy and insecure/spastic if not being held or swaddled. He is obviously uncomfortable after eating. We tried gas drops and gripe water but neither seemed to make a significant difference in his comfort. We've since learned that he has acid reflux and he became a much happier baby once he started taking medication for it. But it was definitely frustrating that he was so upset and we couldn't do anything to make him feel better.

He is such a big boy! I mean seriously, it's no wonder my belly got so huge. ;) He went straight into 3 month clothes and size 1 diapers. He eats a ton, which is awesome because that full belly has allowed him to sleep for longer stretches at night. So I'm getting decent sleep, usually only waking up once to feed him. ::high fives all around::

I tried to include pictures with his eyes open, but let's be honest, he's sleeping most of the time these days. lol. Here's our little guy at one month. :)

Our first outing without Daddy - Chick Fil A!

Afternoon snuggles with Grandma

Caught a little smirk. :)

Enjoying some sleepy cuddles with Mom

Hanging out with his BFF Ezra (born just two weeks later)

Handsome boy. Such kissable little lips. :)

Recovery & Home Life

2015-07-29T23:10:00.000-07:00

One of the biggest perks about adopting a newborn was that I was functioning at 110% when Elias was born. No recovery phase to work through, just pure excitement at every aspect of being a new mom. I felt great! So postpartum recovery after Nolan was born completely sideswiped Ryan and I. I knew that I'd be sore and tired, but I did not expect to lack most of my normal functionality. I was pretty much incapable of doing ANYTHING. It was long, hard labor and I had a second degree tear. My whole torso hurt from pushing. My back was killing me. I could barely walk. Stitches. Constipation. Hemorrhoids. I'll stop there. lol.

As hard as it was on me physically, I think the emotional ramifications were even worse. The first couple days, just holding Nolan hurt me. I'll never forget the first or second night that we were home. Ryan had stepped out for a few minutes and Nolan started to cry in his bassinet across the room. It took me several minutes to stand up out of my chair, walk across the room and pick him up. I lost it. I couldn't take care of him by myself and I felt so helpless. And I suppose the hormones didn't help matters.

Things got a lot better after the first week, and incrementally better the second week. I still have a some healing to do, but I'm almost there. I'm able to hold and take care of both of my boys and that feels good. :)

Nolan is doing great. Sometimes I feel like he wants to crawl back inside of me. lol. He just wants to be held all the time. He's a big boy - went straight into 3 month clothes, is eating a ton, and therefore sleeping a ton. We're already down to one nighttime feeding which I am very happy about. :)

We weren't really sure how Elias would respond to having a little brother. He's just so young, it's hard to know how much he understands. He was initially pretty nonchalant about having Nolan in the house, but he is definitely becoming more interested in him. We make a big deal about gentle touches and any signs of affection and I think it's catching on. :) Their interaction is so minimal right now, but every bit of it still makes my heart burst. I'm loving life as a mommy of two. <3

Here are a few pictures of our first couple weeks together!

I mean, guys, I can't even handle the love in my heart for these cutie pies!

This boy. <3

My view in our living room. It's the best.

Dinnertime. :) Momma's gotta eat!

Nolan's first bath.

Lunch date with my boys.

Giving little brother his paci. ::melt::

Goodnight kisses. <3

Birth Story - Nolan Daniel

2015-07-28T19:48:00.000-07:00

If you read my pregnancy update post last month, you know that Ryan and I had planned on having a natural/unmedicated birth for Nolan. We wanted to labor at home with our doula as much as possible before heading to the hospital to deliver. Well, Nolan's birth did not go according to plan. I shouldn't be surprised right? Nothing in this whole journey of growing our family has EVER gone according to plan. lol. :)

It started at about 5pm on Saturday evening July 11th, six days past my due date. I started having contractions at my in laws' house. We started timing them and though pretty mild, I was encouraged to see them coming at about 5 minutes apart. However, shortly after they started I began bleeding fairly heavily. I called my doctor and received instructions to go to labor and delivery. Upon checking in, we discovered that my blood pressure was high - 161 when it had been in the 120s through my pregnancy. After more monitoring, I was officially admitted at 10:30pm.

The hospital staff was so respectful and low key about our desire to have a natural birth experience. So even though I was pretty much chained to a bed with monitoring devices, I was thankful that the nurses let us be. I got what little sleep I could in the uncomfortable bed while laboring through the night. Contractions were consistent and getting stronger at first, but unfortunately started to putter out by early morning.

At 5am Sunday, my OB walked into our room and told us that I had preeclampsia. My blood pressure was still high and the protein level in my urine had tripled. My body was no longer responding well to the pregnancy and we needed to work toward getting Nolan out. She said that she would check on me in a few hours to see if my contractions picked up again on their own. If not she offered to break my water and see if that started to speed things up. While we appreciated her willingness to try more natural options before starting medication, I had only dilated to a 2 at that point. We believed it to be too early for breaking my water to actually do anything other than add to my pain. I would probably end up needing pitocin anyway. So we decided to just move forward with pitocin. My IV was hooked up with it at about 8am.

By 11am, my contractions had really intensified and I was ready for my epidural. Now, I've been with friends and family when their babies are born. There is a substantial difference on mom's face before and after she gets her epidural. It's clear that she has gotten relief. I didn't quite get that experience. After the initial dose, I was still able to move my feet and feel my legs. It took the edge off the contractions but it did not take them away completely like I thought it would. Throughout the day, I was able to get naps in when the dosage was increased, but the effectiveness would fade within a couple hours. The awesome anesthesiologist just said that every body responds differently to epidurals, so...pretty much "oh well, sucks to be you."

Sometime around 11pm I woke up from a nap in a full blown sweat. I was so hot! I was getting claustrophobic from being stuck on the hospital bed with all the cords and tubes attached to me. AND I was feeling even stronger contractions because the stupid epidural wasn't working. I started to panic. It took a few minutes of this till Ryan reminded me about the various signs of the different stages of labor that we learned about in our classes. I was in transition - almost time to push! Light at the end of the tunnel!

Well, that tunnel took a few hours to get through. At some point in the middle of it, my wonderful nurse Jackie took pity on me and called for the anesthesiologist to see if he could do anything to help the pain. I don't know what he gave me, but it helped enough for me to get some relief and rest in before ~~all hell broke loose~~ I started pushing.

The pushing stage was total bananas. Seriously, the most intense hour and a half of my life. I felt every one of those pitocin contractions. I guess I kind of got to feel natural childbirth, only mine was amped up with meds and I didn't have any of the perks of a relaxing environment and ability to move around freely. yay me!! ;) Anyway, after lots of pain filled moaning and groaning, my body successfully pushed out a little human. :) Nolan Daniel Miller was born at 4:30am on July 13, 2015 weighing 8 pounds 5 ounces. My tall boy measured 22 inches long, and the nurses noted that his head was bigger than average at 14".

Nolan swallowed a ton of meconium in the womb. So after he came out, they put him on me just long enough for Ryan to cut the cord and then whisked him away to the warming table to get all that grossness sucked out of his gut and lungs. It was about a half hour before I could get a good look at our boy's handsome face. :)

Both grandmas and Auntie Meghan were troopers through the night, waiting for Nolan's arrival. This is their first glimpse of him. :)

36 hours of labor, but we made it through! We were exhausted and so happy to have son #2 in our arms.

Family of four. Can hardly believe how much the Lord has blessed us. My cup runneth over. <3

D-Day! :)

2015-07-05T14:24:00.001-07:00

Happy due date Nolan! :) I'm going to miss carrying you in my belly once you're out. So no rush, but I am also excited to hold you in my arms whenever you're ready. Our doctors will give us another two weeks till they evict you. Lol. Let's try to do this without their help, mmmk? ;)

Still feeling good, friends! :) A little tired and a little achy, but not too uncomfortable. I have declined getting internal exams at my doctor appointments thus far, so I'm not sure if/how much I've dilated. I do know that his head is nice and low, so that's good! I've been getting pretty consistent Braxton Hicks, but it has not progressed beyond that yet. Any guesses on when he will make his arrival? :)

Maternity Photos

2015-06-30T19:47:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share a few pictures from our maternity shoot with my mom! :) I love how they came out! This first one with Elias - I can't even...there are just no words. lol. If you're local and looking for someone to take family pictures, hit my mom up on her Facebook page! :)

Pregnancy Update - Full Term

2015-06-28T14:06:00.002-07:00

I am due a week from today. Whaaaaaaaaat???? lol. While I expect to go past my due date, as most first-timers do, the fact that Nolan could come at any time now totally blows my mind. I'm excited to meet our little miracle, but there is definitely a part of me that is sad and not ready for this pregnancy to be over. I waited so long to experience this and I don't know if God will let me experience it again. So I'm treasuring the time that I have left and not in a hurry to end this wonderful blessing.

Nolan is head down, weighs roughly 6 pounds 13 ounces, and has a nice strong heartbeat. My blood pressure and other stats have continued to be normal, so we're both in good shape for delivery! :) After looking into all of our options, Ryan and I have decided to pursue a natural/unmedicated birth. We've been working with a doula (essentially, a professional labor coach) and have really enjoyed our Bradley Method childbirth classes with her. The classes took 10 weeks, so they were pretty extensive, and we really feel as prepared as we can be at this point. I'm not scared. :) Our plan for delivery is to labor as much as possible at home with our doula's help and then head over to the hospital for Nolan's grand entrance. I know that things happen and birth does not always go as you plan, but we've at least got a direction that we're shooting for and we're very happy to have our doula alongside to help us get there.

Elias has been more clingy and attached over the last few weeks, which I understand is common for big siblings right before a new baby comes. :) It will definitely be interesting to bring a newborn into our family when Elias is still such a baby in many ways, and yet transitioning to the toddler realm in other ways.

Anyhoosie, I think that's all I've got for ya. Here's my 39 week bump shot! :)

P.S. If you want to come along for the ride when Nolan is born, make sure you're following my Instagram and/or Facebook page. That's where we'll be posting the play by plays when the time comes. :)

Mother's Day #2

2015-05-09T20:01:00.001-07:00

This is the second Mother's Day that I will participate in as an actual mom. :) And my oh my, this holiday looks very different than it used to. Elias brought my dreams of motherhood to life. He is sunshine to my day, the constant recipient of my kisses, the source of noise in our otherwise quiet home, and the other little man that I am called to serve day in and day out. I know that my learnings in motherhood are just beginning. I am merely skimming the surface of lessons that I will continue to grasp more of as time goes on. But I am growing as a person, and we are growing as a family unit, and it just lights up my heart. Ryan and Elias are my greatest earthly blessings and nothing brings me more joy than doing life with them.

And yet alongside all of the wonderful feelings and thankfulness that I have while looking forward to Mother's Day, I still can't help but think back to where I've been. I vividly remember smiling and nodding at awkward comments at church, swallowing hard as the moms in the congregation stood while I sat, and barely making it to the car in time to cry. The unfulfilled longing of my heart would just hit me like a punch in the gut and come flowing out of my eyes. I have a beautiful son now, I am pregnant with a surprise miracle, and yet I still remember all the hard things about Mother's Day.

I came across this article a while back. I'm sure that many of you have already seen it. Rereading it again this week just made me think about how infertile women are not the only ones who hurt on Mother's Day. Women remember their miscarriages, mourn for children that they've lost, struggle over broken family relationships, grieve the loss of their own mothers, the list goes on and on. If you find yourself hurting in any way tomorrow, just know that you're in my heart. Whether it is a seasonal trial or years of heartache that doesn't have an end in sight, you don't need to feel guilty for being sad. I guarantee that there are other women out there who feel the way you do, and it's ok to cry if you need to.

1 Year

2015-04-28T20:34:00.001-07:00

Elias turned 1 last Monday. My baby is year old. I was going back and forth this past week, trying to decide if I just do a normal monthly post as I've been doing, or if I get hard core mushy gushy about how amazing this year has been for us. I think I'm going to save my gush for a Mother's Day post. So for now, we'll just stick to the facts. :)

The major development this month has been his desire to stand as much as possible and walk along furniture. He is not stable enough to stand without support, but I'm sure we'll get there the next month or so. :) He's learning new sounds to jabber with and and we can tell that he is trying to communicate more and more. Sign language has been so much fun! He started applying signs like "All done" to different contexts than after mealtime, like when he wants to get off the changing table or out of his carseat. lol. Just the last couple days he has been trying to tell me when he's ready for a nap. How awesome is that?? We just love watching him learn and tell us what he wants even though he's quite a ways from speaking. We're adding signs a little bit at a time and hope that he continues to pick it up as we stay consistent with it.

Here are some pictures of month 12!!

I had to take a peek at his 1 month pictures to compare. Look how much he's grown!!

He puts his toys on the ottoman now, so that he can stand while he's playing. :)

Easter Sunday at church

Checking out his findings from the Easter egg hunt at Grandma's house. :)

Playing with the remnants of his Easter basket.

Joining in a 3rd trimester bump shot with Mom. He's got quite a seat to sit on these days. lol

Shuffling across the living room with his walker toy.

Playing drums with Daddy.

He was so happy to have everyone sing happy birthday to him at his party. :)

A little reading session with his new book.

The three of us are kinda crazy about each other. <3

2nd Trimester Recap

2015-04-14T20:11:00.000-07:00

Well folks, we've hit the 3rd trimester! This pregnancy is going by so fast! 2nd trimester was good to me. :) A few weeks in, the fatigue and food aversions that I was feeling at the beginning of the pregnancy went away. Aaaaand that's when I kind of turned into a ravenous teenage boy. lol.

I was in a constant state of being hungry. Seriously - constant. That has *thankfully* subsided a bit over the last few weeks. I still snack throughout the day, but I don't feel like I have an unquenchable appetite anymore. :)

My belly is in major growth mode these days. :) It's so much fun. I love that Nolan is big enough to point out where he's at in my belly and feel him kick around in there. I feel him move throughout the day, but he is most active in the evening after dinner. Ryan felt his first kicks from the outside at 22 weeks which was a cool moment. :) I'm just now starting to actually see the movement on my belly, and I'm so excited for more of that.

Let's see, what else...I'm getting plenty of rest even though I've had to adjust to sleeping on my side and I'm getting up 2-3 times a night to go to the bathroom. :) Heartburn has become a daily thing, so I'm hopeful that the little guy is growing a nice head of hair. Elias is starting to get harder to chase around since he's getting more mobile and heavier as I'm getting bigger and...less agile. haha. But I'm happy that he keeps me moving, I think it's good for me. Overall, I'm feeling great and still loving every minute of pregnancy. I'm truly thankful that God is giving me the opportunity to go through this. <3

I know I've already posted the first picture below, but I thought it would be a nice comparison. :) So this is me at 13 weeks, which was the start of my second trimester.

And here I am last Sunday at 28 weeks- start of the third trimester. :)

It's Done! :)

2015-03-31T13:11:00.002-07:00

Elias' adoption is complete! I gotta admit, Ryan and I were both a little nervous yesterday leading up to the hearing. Not sure why. It just felt like a big day. I sat in the backseat with Elias on the way to the courthouse so that I could feed him. It reminded me of the day we brought him home from the hospital, when I sat in the backseat just to be able to look at him. I remembered how surreal it felt to finally be a mom after everything we'd been through. And there I was, 11 months later, feeding a handsome little boy with a cheesy grin, and only an hour or two away from the adoption being complete. Then the pregnancy hormones took over and the weight of finalization day oozed out of my eyes in tears. :')

The actual proceeding itself was somewhat anticlimactic. lol. The judge was fine, but didn't exactly seem enthusiastic about life in general. I was kinda hoping that he would make it special, but no such luck. We signed a document, agreed that we will raise Elias as our own blood, and then took some pictures. And of course the one time I want our little goober to be all smiles for the camera, he's a hot mess, ready for a bottle and nap. Anyway, that was it!

Happy boy on our way to the courthouse.

Walking the halls with Grandma

Waiting for the judge

Signing the final documents

Family photo. Elias melt down. lol.

Ryan and I are so thankful for our biggest cheerleaders and supporters - our family! But also for all of you who have been along on the journey with us. God has blessed and abundantly provided for every aspect of Elias' adoption. We're very happy to have it all done and official. Elias was always meant for us, and now it's just formally written on paper. <3

11 Months

2015-03-24T13:54:00.002-07:00

Elias is 11 months old and oh my goodness, this boy is pure personality. He loves making us laugh, flirting with the nursery workers at church, and chasing or being chased. It's been so much fun to see him actually interact with other kids, especially his cousins. I'm convinced that he's going to be a social butterfly. There's not a drop of shyness in him. lol

He's still army crawling, and he really likes pulling himself up to stand these days. My little explorer is into EVERYTHING. lol. He definitely keeps me busy during the day, that's for sure. Communication really improved this month which has been fun. He signs "All done", "more please", waves hi and bye, claps when we tell him he did a good job, and most recently learned how to say "uh oh". :) After a constant refusal to drink his bottles, we started transitioning over to more and more solid food. He currently eats three meals with us, and has three bottles. Bananas, apple sauce, beans, and string cheese are favorite foods so far.

I think that's about it. Here are some pictures of month 11! :)

Pulled himself up to stand and gave us a big, proud grin. :)

I put it off as long as I could, but we finally had to transition to the big boy bath tub this month.

Sleepy little love. He likes using his stuffed animals as pillows.

Happy boy at the dinner table! We like eating and laughing together. :)

This face is one of his favorite ways to make us laugh. He's such a cheeseball.

Enjoying a little family getaway in San Diego.

Snuggles with Mom!

First pool trip of the year. He LOVED splashing around. This summer is going to be a lot of fun!

Elias' Finalization

2015-03-02T11:35:00.000-08:00

WE FINALLY HAVE A COURT DATE!!!!!! Elias' adoption will be officially complete on March 30th!!

After Elias was born, we needed to have a handful of post-placement visits with our agency (per CA state law) before we could finalize. Those visits were a pleasure to do since we always enjoy seeing our friends at Nightlight. :) We completed that process back in November, and have since been waiting for all the necessary documentation on the adoption to get filed so that we could get a court date.

Even though Elias has been entrusted to us from day one, and the birth family's rights have already been terminated, the adoption finalization is when the judge legally declares us as Elias' parents. He will be issued a new birth certificate with our names on it, and we can move forward with any other legal documentation for him like getting a SSN, passport, etc. It officially marks the end of all the adoption stuff and we are sooooo excited to have it all done.

10 Months

2015-02-22T14:27:00.000-08:00

Double digits! How did this happen so fast?? Elias sprouted 4 teeth this month!! So there were more moody days, but I feel like this round of teething was more tolerable than the last one. He is still army crawling around the house and has gotten much faster. He gets up on his knees and rocks around, but not really anything beyond that. He's trying to pull on things and climb a little bit. We have so enjoyed watching Elias become getting much more responsive and interactive. He reaches out to be held, looks in our eyes while he babbles, seems to understand the concept of being "chased" and rough-housing with daddy. :) We've noticed that he mainly uses his left hand when he's eating and picking things up, so we're wondering if he will keep that up and be a lefty.

From a character training standpoint, we've definitely given Elias specific no-nos around the house. He clearly understands and responds when we tell him not to do something. :) I'm trying to be more intentional about using sign language and repetitious words with him, especially at mealtime. I want to give him tools for communicating without fussing for more food. So far, the only sign that he actually repeats back to me is "all done". I don't think he understands what it means yet, but it's a start! :)

Relaxing with mom. <3

Our happy boy. :)

Off for an evening walk with Daddy. He was pretty excited. haha.

Some days, the only way I am able to get ready is with this goober crawling all over me and grabbing at my makeup. lol

Had a great check up with our pediatrician this month. I was proud to hear that Elias is exceptionally friendly and social for his age. yay! :)

He still gets so excited about bath time. I may have a little too much fun playing with his hair. ;)

Anatomy Scan

2015-02-20T12:37:00.001-08:00

Our anatomy scan went well this morning! It was awesome to see Nolan moving around, waving his arms, and kicking his legs. Doctor didn't see any red flags - he's lookin healthy and growing on track. Woohoo!! :) I have really felt an increase in movement this week which is a ton of fun. He's been especially active after dinner time the last few days. I'm looking forward to Ryan being able to feel him from the outside. Won't be long now! :)

Big brother is 10 months old today! A post on what he's up to these days is coming soon. :)

20 Weeks - Half Baked!

2015-02-15T15:40:00.000-08:00

We've hit 20 weeks, woohoo! :) I can hardly believe that we've hit the halfway point. I feel like that went so fast! The pregnancy is still going really well. I have a bit of sciatic pain at night, but it's nothing too crazy. I'm hungry pretty much all the time these days. Lucky Charms and rainbow sherbet always sound good. haha. I feel the occasional flutter here and there, but it's still not what I would consider strong or frequent movement. I know it's coming though, so I can be patient. :)

Our anatomy scan (the big, thorough ultrasound) is at the end of this week. I'm excited to see our little guy and see how much he's grown. But potential problems are often caught at this ultrasound, so when I think about it that way, I'm eager for it to be over. lol. I just want to hear good news and get confirmation that he's healthy. I'll post an update with the results next weekend. :) Until then, here are a few bump pics for ya. My belly really started rounding out toward the top this past week. I feel like I've officially "popped" and I'm totally loving it. ::grin::

17 Weeks

18 Weeks

19 Weeks

20 Weeks

And He Shall be Called...

2015-01-30T10:27:00.004-08:00

Nolan. Our second little boy has officially been named Nolan. :)

We don't have a middle name yet because Ryan says that a first name is enough of a decision for one trimester.

hahahaha! ;) Anyway, I know this is a short post, but I just wanted to share cause people have been asking. :)

9 Months

2015-01-20T15:10:00.001-08:00

Elias' 9th month has been a lot of fun in some ways and kind of difficult in other ways. He had a cold the week of Christmas, the flu the week of New Years, and then started teething. Sooooo yeah, let's just say he hasn't been himself. But thankfully, he's been back to his normal and happy self for about a week now. :)

Despite being a sicky boy, Elias has been doing a lot of developing. He's army crawling all over the house, trying all kinds of new foods, holding his own bottle, and there are two top teeth starting to break through his gums. He is such a little explorer! He would much rather look under our TV stand or behind a cracked door than stay in one spot and play with toys. :) I wonder how much that character trait will play out as he gets older. I can totally imagine him being an active, outdoorsy type kid. His understanding is really growing as well. We're introducing no-nos and he's been very responsive to that so far. He likes giving kisses, making flirty eyes, and laughing. We're so crazy about our boy. :) Here are a few pictures from month 9.

He's a little charmer with that smile of his. <3

Fussy boys end up doing dishes with mom. He seems pretty happy about it. lol

Our first Christmas together!

Snuggles and laughs with mom.

Out for lunch! :)

Getting into all kinds of mischief these days.

We love being out and about together. :)

Play time in his room.

Morning relaxing in mom and dad's bed. He made himself at home. lol :)

It's a BOY!!

2015-01-12T16:36:00.000-08:00

In case you missed it on Facebook/Instagram over the weekend...

Elias is getting a little brother!! woohoo! :)) We scheduled an early ultrasound for this past Friday and got a peek of the little guy. His legs were smooshed up against my uterus at first, and then he was moving around a ton, but after a few minutes of chasing him we got a very clear shot in between his legs (see pic below). haha. We're so excited to welcome another boy into our family. I love that our sons will be so close in age! :)

Looking up as he sits cross legged. :)

Profile. :) His right hand is waving behind him.

1st Trimester Recap

2015-01-06T13:56:00.001-08:00

Can't believe that I'm in my second trimester! It just still blows my mind that I'm actually pregnant. lol. On top of the blessing of the pregnancy itself, I feel like the Lord doubly blessed me by giving me a really ideal first trimester. There was definitely fatigue the first few weeks, and I still takes naps a couple times a week. :) I have an aversion to meat and foods that I would consider rich or strong in flavor. I had a weird taste in my mouth and was burping at all times up until about week 11ish. But no vomiting or extreme nausea which I am so thankful for. Overall, I'm feeling great! The only notable cravings that I've had so far are Chick Fil A (the only meat I actually want), sushi (baked rolls only of course) and sour gummy candy. :)

We had our 3 month check up a couple weeks ago and unfortunately I didn't get a nice picture to share with you all. But baby actually looks like a baby now! He/She was wiggling around and had a nice strong heartbeat. My belly is starting to poof out a bit and I am officially in maternity jeans. I think that maternity jeans are amazing and I don't understand why all jeans can't come with a soft waistband. lol. I have only taken a few super casual belly shots, but I think I'm more willing to take them now that it looks like a little more than just chub around my waist. ;)

I am 14 weeks as of yesterday. We have an ultrasound appointment to find out the gender this Friday. eeeeeek!

9 weeks - I couldn't bring myself to take a belly shot until we had seen the heartbeat. :)

11 weeks - trying on maternity jeans!

13 weeks - start of 2nd trimester. :)

8 Months

2014-12-29T12:31:00.000-08:00

I hope that everyone had a lovely Christmas! :) We had a busy week aaaaand Elias and I got sick, but we really enjoyed ourselves anyway. Elias didn't really understand at all this year, and he's kind of afraid of the sound of ripping wrapping paper. Little weirdo. lol. But it was still fun for Ryan and I to get his stocking together and open gifts with him Christmas morning. :) Very special.

I don't feel like we had any big milestones to speak of during month 8. He's still not crawling. Seems pretty content to roll around and get where he wants to go that way. He's so active right now and I feel like it's increasing every day. Can't imagine what it will be like when he is actually crawling. haha! He learned how to clap his hands when we say yay and daddy is working on high fives. :) We're trying to be more intentional about letting him try more solids. He likes tasting the food that we're eating. He really enjoys playing with the other babies and toys in the nursery at church on Sundays. I love that he's a friendly little guy, and hasn't had any separation anxiety yet. He just loves to be with other people, and doesn't really care who it is. :)

That's about it! Here are some pictures of month 8 with our goober boy! :)

So handsome! I love that his hair is getting so long!

Trying to stay warm during a cold night out for dinner. :)

Hanging out with his cousin/BFF Derek. <3

Enjoying some beans and guac at a local Mexican restaurant. Looks like he took a selfie. haha.

Happy morning boy! :)

Crazy hair during bathtime. :)

Family love!!

And then there were 4 :)

2014-12-02T13:43:00.000-08:00

It was November 1st. A totally normal Saturday. We slept in, took our time getting ready, hung out with friends in the afternoon, and got together with family in the evening. But I was a week or so past my expected period. I've had the occasional long cycle here and there. But a whole week...? Before hitting the sack, Ryan told me to just take a pregnancy test so that we could push any crazy ideas out of our minds and carry on. I had an extra test lurking around under the sink from the embryo transfer that we did last December. So I peed on it. Super nonchalant. We stood at our bathroom sink together and stared down at that pee stick, toothbrushes in hand, toothpaste foaming up our mouths. And the most shocking and amazing word popped up - "Pregnant."

My immediate response was denial. lol. 4 1/2 years since we started trying, multiple embryo transfers, and the two times I DID get pregnant, I miscarried. That first week after the pregnancy test, I was just waiting to start bleeding. But I didn't. On the contrary, I started feeling all of the things that I had felt with the previous pregnancy. Fatigue, slight dull ache in my lower abdomen, occasional nausea, and food aversions. Only this time, I had the confidence that it was my body doing it, not meds. :) Both miscarriages had happened in week 6, so getting to week 7 was another confidence booster. And at week 8, we had our first OBGYN appointment. I was pretty nervous about doing the ultrasound at this appointment. You may recall that my ultrasound for the last pregnancy resulted in a blank screen - no baby. But to our great relief and joy, we saw a little gummy-bear-shaped body in my uterus and a nice strong heartbeat. My doctor said that everything looked great, and that I could continue on like a normal pregnant woman - no injections, no special treatment. :)

So here we are! I am just over 9 weeks today, due July 5th of next year. Elias is our sunshine and our joy, and filled every longing and hope that we ever had about parenthood. Adoption was such a wonderful experience for us, and we thought that would be the only way we would pursue a second baby if/when that time came. But God has been faithful to give me what I did not plan for. lol. He must have chuckled when He tucked this little life in my body. He gave us a surprise adoption AND a surprise pregnancy the year that we had planned to be just "Ryan and Denay." Our little family is growing by God's grace and goodness and we could not be more thrilled. But we do have a long ways to go, and we're praying that the Lord keeps this baby safe and healthy inside of me. Thank you in advance for your prayers for Baby Miller #2! :)