Where's my trophy?

Snow Day - Stay Away

2019-02-01T22:54:00.001-05:00

This is not complaining.

We at Marymount University's Doctor of Physical Therapy, Class of 2020, have yet to experience a regularly scheduled week of classes this semester. Let me be clear, I don't need snow days. I don't even want snow days. Keep them away. I will happily speak for myself by saying "snow days are for the high school me to hope, dream, and yearn for." They are beneath me. Not only do I consider those "desires" a complete waste of time and energy (the decision of which being completely out of my control), but the achievement of a snow day is an absolute disruption to the flow, order, and momentum of my learning. I'm over it. Listen, I am not taking on loans of tens of thousands of dollars a semester to sit at home staring at a computer. That sweet, sweet money is going to making sure I stare at my computer 13.5 miles from home, you guys.

DC morning metro commute: metro center, maybe?

So, seeing as we're not complaining, I'm gonna go ahead and kick the good vibes into gear by catching you up on things since we last chatted. CSM, baby! The American Physical Therapy Association's (APTA's) Combined Sections Meeting has happened. If I'm paying attention, this event should be called the "Combined Academies Meeting (CAM)" seeing as how "sections" are now adjusting to being termed "academies." And wouldn't you be charmed to hear that some of the Academies held their own awards ceremonies during the evenings of the ~~CSM~~ CAM. Can you begin to imagine the yuck-yucks some speakers managed to jimmy from the audiences when the invited us to join them at their very own "Academy Awards"???!?! Marvelous, no?

~~CSM~~ CAM was a hoot. Sure it could be overwhelming if you knew where to look, but that's just part of the experience. As frantic and pedantic the first day of three was, I made sure to tune in and focus up to what I wanted for the last two. In short, each day has 3, 2-hour lectures you could attend of varying topics and focusses. As best I can make sense of it, each APTA ~~section~~ academy had their host of speakers, lectures, and research to present along with motivated individuals there to speak on their clinical experiences and findings. All in the name of continuing education, the presentation of cutting edge research, and sometimes just voicing opinion to anyone that would listen, ~~CSM~~ CAM is the largest stage for the physical therapy world.

My experience was unlike anyone else's. I chose to make the best of it. I chose to go all three days. I chose to wake up at 5-something to attend a special interest group meeting hours before lectures started. I chose to make sure I went to as many lectures I wanted to be at and did not just follow classmates, or suggestions put in front of me. Some lectures were a touch out of my interests, but others expanded amazingly on concepts I have been introduced to in school in ways I could not have expected. There were definitely some talks that I went to that affirmed how I want nothing to do with that area of practice (and sometimes self-absorption), and that in itself is a valuable lesson learned. By the end of the weekend, I feel lucky that I was able to attend talks that uniquely spoke to me and how I hope to practice in the not too distant future.

See, this profession is not about me. This profession is about the people I will serve, hope to empower, and share what I learn with, along their path through life. From my own journey, I can only hope to emulate a cumulative fraction of those that have been generous enough to share their impactful, patient-focussed methods with me when I am with patients of my own. I just hope to remember: it's not about me.

I am not sure there is a better way I can conjure up a finish to this post, but I have been messing with the idea to leave you all with a "feature" that I have particularly enjoyed in the last few days since we last talked. I mean, you've made it this far, and lawd knows I appreciate it. So, here goes it for a first dive into a segment I will call: Here Ya Go

Here Ya Go: "A Little Respect" by Erasure - a gem of a duo out of England's mid/late-80s still making music that is more dynamic and powerful the so much of today's.

Thanks for reading.

30th Birthday

2019-01-20T15:53:00.002-05:00

This birthday has afforded me the opportunity to once more reflect on how lucky I am.

my parents joked that I looked like Buddy Hackett

My parents went down to Bogota Colombia to get me when I was almost 3 months old, and I am here writing this in this house I grew up in. Sure, there are times where I am bitter about not being where I expected myself to be by now or I will sting myself with mild annoyance for not putting myself in a position for success earlier on. Yet, a day like this does well to anchor me back to where I've been so fortunate. Everything I have is not a coincidence - the opportunities, the lessons learned, the relationships I have... Surrounded by those that have loved me unconditionally from the moment they first met me and have done everything in their power to give me the best opportunity in life is a very special thing that I know is rare.

a very rich cake for me!

Not much has changed since I first got here and I somehow feel that I will remember this birthday in particular because of everyone that made it special all over again.

you should be jealous

I'm looking forward to the changes ahead.

My car is nearing the end of its long tenure of being paid for. I bought scrubs for this semester's round of my clinical experience - and hopefully more opportunities down the road.

The semester dodged another snow show disruption this weekend.

sweet sunrise commutes are always nice

The physical therapy world's Combined Sections Meeting (CSM) is coming up this week, and I am unsure how I feel about it. Convention type things don't energize me, but it'll be an experience!

bought this casio-wannabe watch for myself

Anyway, looking back for me is an uplifting thing to do. For that, I am so grateful. I need to go ride my bike.

Thanks for reading.

Back To The Books

2019-01-15T08:22:00.000-05:00

Thanks to the dump of snow this January, I had an extra 24 hours or so of my winter break to mess around with.

what snow?

I can't say I did much with it that's too exciting, but it maybe was the extra bit that I needed to flip my mind back into school mode. If I'm being honest though, I am sure it wouldn't matter to me whether I had a week more or less to my winter break. If class is on, I'll be right back to it as best I can be without hesitation. I'll say it... part of me is wishing there wasn't a snow day to start things off. I don't want to waste instruction time, but modern technology's ability to have our professor record a lecture to the tune of their powerpoint is appreciated. I am looking forward to another semester and another load of information that will add to the foundation of my future.

Sounds pretty good, doesn't it?

the fingers hurt after this session of note-taking

But before this semester hits me and takes me out of the reality everyone else gets to exist in, I will linger a touch longer on some of what I enjoyed during this break. I rode my bike almost every day, and I spent time with the people that mean the most to me - all good stuff. Shout-out once more to the guys at Bicycle Pro Shop - Springfield for being a top group of guys for this area of NoVA's cyclists. Young Fix'em-Up (Woody) and the boys were generous enough to toss me this hat I drooled over and these sweet, sweet socks to ride in. Thanks, guys. I hope to be able to ride with you all again soon.

Check out their Instagram: @bicycleproshop

[EST. 1958] cool cool cool

The "winter" break wouldn't be in NoVA without the sun coming out and temperatures topping near 65 Fahrenheit at one point or another. I made sure to extend rides like this one - tapping into that "this is why I ride" feeling.

quick pic for proof

I think that's all I have to write about for now. Maybe I'll share some of my school experiences on here - if I get time to write.

the construction pit outside our class room

And before I go... check out this documentary about a 1st year pro team racing the USA Crits. The one dude is PASSIONATE - dropping f-bombs, connecting dots, drawing lines, and lettin' us all know how different he and all of us bike racers (or some anyway) are from the rest of the world. I'm not all like this guy... but I'll be damned if there isn't a good spoonful of his passion and this-is-what-I-wake-up-for-every-day gravy in me as well. Give yourself 34 minutes and the place to yourself to watch this explicit bike racing movie. This is the answer to the question "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" for me - after a lot of hard work.

Thanks for reading.

Got Me a Call-Up

2019-01-06T16:46:00.002-05:00

You guys... It's not every day that I get a call-up. It's something I've been working for all month long without even knowing it.

you know... the hours and hours on the trainer

But if you're like me... you don't make a big deal out of these things. Sure I'm honored, humbled, and no less heartened to know that I haven't been forgotten. I've been tuning my mind, body, and spirit for an opportunity like this. Here's the thing, folks... this type of call-up to the line is an astronomical opportunity ... I'm not gonna lie. But as I said - I take it all in stride.

Did I shave for it? I mean, wouldn't you? This "call-up" is no big deal or anything... like I said. Also, if I'm being honest, it was more of a text situation. But okay, yeah - I shaved for this.

The longest my hair had been in maybe 7+ years?

So what's this all about, you're asking?

A sweet, sweet group ride, baby!

Shout-out to Young Horse Power, Woody, and the boys at Bicycle Pro Shop in Springfield for the "Clifton Crusades Ride" this morning.

gonna have to pick up one of these soon

The winter weather was perfect with me banking HARD on the forecasted sunny skies. Like the nice, modern gentleman that I am, I checked the weather forecast last night when I got the "nod" for today's ride, and you KNOW when I saw the call for morning sunshine that something special was about to go down. Maybe it was because I was 1.5 beers deep that I decided shaving my legs was necessary and correct. Maybe it was a cosmic alignment. You can decide which. All I know is that Clifton did not disappoint. In fact, it was a treat to share some of those roads I've had the pleasure of punching miles into with some riders that are new to them. It hurt at times, but our 5-rider crew was up for the mixed terrain and technical twists of the morning's classic Clifton ride. There were definitely points where I tuned into how much I enjoy riding bikes.

Indeed this morning's ride is the start of what is hoped to be a weekly, Sunday morning jaunt out of the Bicycle Pro Shop Springfield location. That is truly what makes this ride so special. It can be hard to establish a weekly ride in this area. I have my fingers crossed that this one makes it even when I cannot once school picks up again for me.

beachy

Beyond all that, the co-captain and I took a New Year's day stride along the C&O Canal. It was much needed before spending the rest of that day taking the last of the leaves off my parental's property.

stay loose, America

That's all I've got for now.

Thanks for reading.

A 2018 Closer

2018-12-26T15:56:00.004-05:00

Having spent post of this year at the tremendous age of 29, I suppose the term "end of an era" comes to mind. Not that I can fully comprehend what my physical "peak" was or was not, I do know that, physiologically speaking, I am forever on the down-slope of my physical prowess. Be that as it may, I know my best days on the bike are still in front of me and I can hardly wait. No rush, though. I still have another year and a half of school. But I know I will have hard battles ahead of me for years to come once I hit the masters categories. Those are still years away, but I'll plant the seed now as I mentally begin my patient return to this sport I love.

many cinnamon rolls were had this holiday season.

Today's ride was short, not so fast, and altogether painful. I still enjoy the pain even when there is no need for it. I do not believe I will have another month off for the rest of my professional-oriented life. I have ridden my bike 13/14 days so far - not to mention one of those days I did a 2-a-day workout while another I was without my Garmin!!! Again, there's no ascertainable reason for my riding except for just that - I want to ride. It's just one more blessing I want to appreciate as much as I can.

brr

These past few rides have afforded me the ability to do some exploration of trails right in my backyard. I haven't discovered them all on my own thanks to the fiance, but they are exciting to ride and explore further after so many years of managing road riding in this area. It must be said that these trails so far are incredibly flat, but at least there's usually a creek nearby.

taken with a very tight grip on the phone

I found this 200lb TV curb-side with a clear sign on it with big capital letters spelling "FREE." I did a number on my biceps transferring this hunk into my car's trunk, but it'll be well used before I'm done with it!

Sweet, sweet FREE! How lucky is that!!?!

This little guy was almost lost, but a vigorous hard-reset brought it back to life... do you see the indents from button mashing on my index finger!?!

Yeah, that was a weird moment. I almost lost my Garmin a few days ago. I turned it on as one does a few moments before heading out the door to ride, and the sucker decided to punch out. Determined to not let a little computer get in the way of me having a good ride, I set out without it and came to terms with its demise somewhere in those 1.5 hour jaunt. At some point the next day I looked up the hard-reset and it worked - though I had to hold it for longer than what the various instructions said to - nothing to lose I guess. Before resuscitating it, I did look up and weigh up replacements. I almost pulled the trigger too. Holding true to my non-impulsive nature during my 24 hours without a Garmin, I was of course reminded that I did not need a computer that tracks my every effort in order to ride. It's a nice thing to have, but there is no way I need it. Part of me finds it completely unnecessary to even train with. It's a coach's tool, but for me - I do not believe I actually need it to train. Anway, I don't actually have to be without it so I'll table this debate for another day... or never.

I had to replace my rear tire last week. This bump was unbecoming of the trainer rides I so diligently put myself through.

I usually have longer runs on my cheap tires

I think this is where I will leave this aimless post. I'm hungry and need to drink more water.

Thanks for reading.

It's Been Too Long

2018-12-20T01:33:00.002-05:00

Let's not drag our feet here... I've not been on this for a long time.

Since my last postings, a lot has naturally happened. It's the end of 2018 and I have caught my mind drifting to the time and effort I used to put into this. By whatever role it serves me, I always look fondly at this space.

the atrophy is real

Reflecting now on what brings me back... I would have to say it began at my legs. I was out for a ride the other day... other week - recent memory nonetheless, and I had a feeling from my legs I haven't experienced since my first year of riding. It was internal. Something purely in the language of my mind, body, and the billions of connections between. Tied to memories of my developing legs where there's fatigue, but it wasn't quite that.... The jungle gym my brain is trying to negotiate to explain what I felt is irrelevant. What I felt during that ride effectively brought me back to when I began riding and when I fell in love with it.

I've kept up riding since I last posted here. I've had my biggest cycling success (keep reading for a touch more on that) as well as my absolute toughest personal trials (and a triumph or two) since I last posted here. I'll keep this primarily to cycling, but I will say that over two years on from my last posting here, I have so much to appreciate in life. I am headed into the future with a direction, purpose, and partner that has backed me through it all.

"yes" in her words, not mine (also we got that stone down-sized since)

That ride that put that apparently indescribable feeling back into my legs also planted a seed that has me excited to revisit this as well as the future I still have in cycling. I'm in a doctor of physical therapy program in Northern VA until August, 2020. I will not likely be racing until the spring/summer of 2021. How old will I be then?... (literally taking a minute to think on this one) 32! I'll be 32 years old. I imagine I will be riding as much as I can during that summer of 2020, but racing will probably not be in the cards since I will have spent these last 3 years full-time in this program. My body will have changed from now and then. I have already noticed changes, but I also know that I will be able to control them when I focus up again to train to race. I wish it could start in earnest now, but I won't act like I haven't enjoyed putting so much effort to gaining the knowledge and skills that I will be using for years as a physical therapist... and cyclist.

note the light mount here... I really need to get a proper commuting bike.

I last posted here a few months before this, my third ever win. It was huge for me. I cried on my long drive home from it. It meant so much... more than I realized. It felt good. Really good. Addictive good. Even now I can still tap into it. It put a lot of self-belief back inside me. I will look back on it when I begin to train again and it will fuel me. You all deserved me posting in a big way about it, but I've just boiled it down for you. It won't be my last time I find the podium (and the top step thereof).

1st is so rare for me... the unnecessary bike throw is just how badly I needed to make sure I had it. also, I pinned my front wheel to the black between the yellow lines for that sprint to be sure I kept myself straight through to the line after I flew past a rider I had fooled into leading me out to the last corner. this race had everything I wanted to win with.

spot the garmin, then spot how much wind it's hitting...

Anyway, glad to see you're still here.

Maybe I'll post some stuff about my PT school journey to occupy some time and space. I do ride my bike the 13.5 miles in when I can (mentally or otherwise). Sorry-not-sorry for the poor writing this post. I'll work on it as I post more.

Thanks for reading.

Where's The Podium #25: All American - 18th

2016-05-01T03:48:00.002-04:00

If I'm going to be honest, today was a disappointment. I could've/should've/would've done better. Like a thick fog, a certain weakness stifled my race today.

My teammates took 2nd and 3rd in our Cat4 race, and 4th in the masters-35+ Cat3/4. Awesome. I am happy that they have performed, and expect that they will be upgrading soon.

Yet, seeing/writing as how this blog is all about me... I think I should focus on my performance and result.

Horrible.

You know that feeling... how it feels like to be left out? - that's how it feels from this race. I was left out, and nowhere did that feel most pungent than during the post-race discussions about how good your form is and how good you are right now and how good this teammate or that teammate is .. those comments were not directed at me, nor should they have been. Don't feel sorry. Get away with that. No one congratulates, commends, or cares about my mid-pack finish - least of all me. No one cares that I was boxed-in, that I still had matches to burn, that I still felt strong during the sprint, or that the 'yellow-line rule," slow race pace, dodgy braking from other riders, or moto-ref all may have combined to keep me front doing anything to move up. No one should bend an ear to listen to my post-race recap of the final meters and how I "felt strong," "finished strong", and avoided all the near crashes for a false opportunity at a result because of this or that, and everything else. No one cares how you feel stronger this year than you did last year.

Prove it.

I hate excuses. They are worthless.

Thus, my race day ended up worthless. I will not waste your time explaining each of the four laps in great detail, but they followed a fairly expected path:

Lap 1: Slow pothole orientation with a heaping side of moto-ref horn-blaring - the hills were easy - I've seen these road before.
Lap 2: Less slow with more of the moto-ref mating call to each and every road without a center-line - this moto-ref is an ass.
Lap 3: Some found it fast, I found it expectedly paced. Any breakaway, I knew, would be caught and I was glad for finally having a faster pace to this lap. The moto-ref was enjoying his authority to relegating about 1/3 of the actual offenders to the "yellow-line-rule" he so passionately pursued - which is why riders kept blatantly doing pissing all over that rule.
Lap 4: I was focused, but expected and actually hoped for worse. For half the lap I thought the moto-ref had taken a back-seat to let the race pan out as it may, but he kept his necessary-annoyance known, and "nowhere to go" is a lock-in unless you are in the top-10 from the final turn even though I apparently inflated my final placement after the team's excited post-race chit-chat. Honest mistake, guys. I know I was better than some, but obviously not as good as I thought today.

Needless to say, my race finished with a terrible top-20. I usually leave right after finishes to these races, but I stuck around to try to soak up some of the good vibes from the WWVC results (not to mention the next wave of racers lined up right behind my car so I was stuck for the next half-hour regardless). As annoyed as I am at myself, I was happy to see my teammates enjoying their results. I decided to hang around the registration/results paddock, yet unfortunately, I was well out of place. Honestly, I did not belong with the top finishers - even though they were teammates of mine. Through no fault of their own, I had teammates talking about how good the team was, looks at me and exclaim.... "oh and that you're am a good sprinter sometimes too." Yeah... I needed to go.

That is what happens when you get complacent. That is what happens when you get lazy. That is what happens when you lose discipline, control, and self-confidence.

Complacency is a virus.

I am sick of letting myself down and hanging on to this if I am just going to tell the same story over and over again no matter how "strong" I feel.

The only truly good thing about today for me is that my car did not fail after having me run it on "zero" gas for miles on end until my gps could get me to a gas station. I need to get my oil changed, a tire replaced, and apparently a brake replaced... I smell exploitation from a grubby gas station, no?

Tomorrow looks to be a solo ride.

Thanks for reading.

Where's The Podium #23-24: Carl Dolan Back-to-Back 3/4-4/5 ? unknown & 27th

2016-04-30T23:58:00.000-04:00

Well, my teammate took victory as the top Cat4 finisher (2nd in the race overall) of the 23rd Annual Carl Dolan Spring Classic Circuit Race in the 3/4 field. Another teammate took 4th in the Cat4 results. That makes for a pretty successful outing for this team in one day.

Not to mention that the guy on the top step here also went on to race the 4/5 race with me 20min after the 3/4... we had a lot of fun!

And I mean that. I made sure to give him a hug after the 3/4 finish. When I heard he took 2nd in the sprint (totally forgetting bout how that most likely meant he took 1st in the Cat4s), I was truly proud and happy for him and WWVC.

Aside from that... I was just as happy about my performance that day. Sure, I didn't get scored for finishing the 3/4 race because the official's camera (iPad?) died after the first 10 crossed the line even though I wasn't contending the finish anyway.... Sure, I finished an abysmal 27th in the 4/5 field that in no way seems like anything out of the ordinary for me given so many of my races finishing mid-pack or worse... but believe me when I say: I had a great day of races!

Let's take both races one at a time...

3/4

Fast. Hard. Hurt. Finished mid-pack...

4/5

Less Fast. Sketchy. Finished mid-pack...

Overall

Things were fine. It was a difficult day out with my legs certainly feeling the efforts. No one would know how "active" I felt I was. Of course, it was all for naught. Nothing I did added much to the race. I hoped me bridging to a breakaway, chasing a move, or riding tempo on the front could have helped a teammate, but I think we all know in a Cat4+/- field... those efforts mean nothing. I for sure know that my teammates would have come up with their results regardless of my "efforts" - congrats to my teammates.

I need to focus on myself.

Thanks for reading.

Riding Through Early Season

2016-04-12T16:33:00.001-04:00

It feels as thought I'm stronger and more prepared going into this season than any previous. Suffering has never felt more familiar. My training is focused and I am using what I have in front of me to get them most out of what time I have. From investing in a new training program to upgrading my bike frame, excuses are worth truly less than ever.

This post might be a rolling along a different tone than my last post singeing in the burns of a poor race outing, but I must commit to my process. Obviously, there is a lot of room for improvement. It is not difficult to point where I can make gains...

Mass. -- More on that later.

On the positive, I have made gains in other targeted areas. I am learning more about how to handle my new frame. I have noticed skills and abilities sharpened. It's as if riding with control has become a matter of second nature.

The second nature of riding should not be much of a surprise, but what makes this a point of encouragement is the depth to which I sense it now. It is maybe part of what I keeping me fulfilled when riding. My senses on the bike are solid and allow me to continue to focus on areas of opportunity for improvement.

That's a nice way of saying I still have a lot of areas to which I can improve. Paramount of which brings us to that aforementioned word: mass. Beyond natural ability, success in cycling is predicated on the age-old ratio/concept of "strength-to-weight." That ratio is something to live and die by. I mean, maybe it's not all that dire, but it is. Your max and FTP powers might be "impressive," "high," "better than the next guy," or even "elite," but its means nothing if your mass (weight) is also higher than it could be.

There is no need for me insult you by going further on this topic where others can explain it better. What I will go on to say is that the strength to weigh ratio is an area that I have had room for improvement my whole cycling career. I know that I am not alone and that others have gone to great lengths to limit this as a liability. I know of riders that have found great success through putting in effort to improve this area as much as they do to improve any number of the others.

This, now, is where I must place my focus. You all should know by now how lucky I feel to be able to ride, race, and have this as part of my life. With that, I feel I owe this life experience and myself the effort to make the most out of it that I can.

My training leading up to this season has has me put myself through things I was scared to before. I feel very much in tune with my body and the efforts I am pushing further and further. I can sense the responses my body and mind are making to efforts. What I now aim to do will go hand-in-hand with that. I have nothing to lose, and maybe some things to gain by losing mass that holds me back. My afternoon's ride setting a new max power in a sprint means nothing but a new bar to exceed.

That's enough... I have work to do.

Thanks for reading.

Where's The Podium #22: Route One Rampage - 17th

2016-03-24T12:50:00.003-04:00

The first race of the year/season/campaign/2016 push...

Honestly, not so great.

Subjectively, this race was fine. It happened. It counted. It challenged. It passed.

Objectively, it was a disaster. I mean... what do you push through 30x30's for but for races like this? What are you even making trying to train for but for races like this? And why did I not ride the 3/4 race?

If I really, honestly, objectively look back on how I raced this season opener... there is nothing to find solace in:

I did not line up at the front - happens, but I know better than to let that dictate anything
I caught up to the front group after riding hard - dropped back rather than suffer though suffering
I accepted defeat.

Speedbumps pitched my handlebars aggressively beyond confort.

I do not think there is much else to say. I am not very balanced as a rider right now. Power means nothing if you cannot make it work for you. Sure, I can drive hard and catch back on to groups and out sprint the riders I was with at the end, but to what success? No victory was left for me at the line.

I know where my weaknesses lie. I am working on the self-discipline that I believe will help me achieve what I want.

I will conclude by saying that I need to not be so afraid of things. It's getting on my nerves.

Not from race day, but I like it anyway.

Thanks for reading.

Instead of a Race

2016-02-28T18:17:00.001-05:00

What was supposed to be a race weekend turned into a weekend of riding with teammates, and a good amount of hours and miles put under the legs. 73mi+ on Saturday and just under 50mi on Sunday puts this weekend's riding up a notch from the past this year.

a humble man's bike shop

It just so happened that I made the newbie mistake of registering too late - though I thought I had registered weeks ago - for the William & Mary Tidewater Winter Classic. I was put on the waitlist, and such as it is, I did not feel particularly motivated to drive down to the race and be potentially turned away from being abl to line up. Yet, my motivation to ride did not fail. I took my bicycle out in race-ready form (tubular wheels and no saddlebag) to the Clifton group ride. It always helps when teammates begin chatter on the emails about the weekend ride options. The cold was not quite deep enough to turn me away, and I wanted to try my new frame out with the carbons and sprint efforts along the way.

old bike, but with an old friend

We had good numbers at the Clifton ride. For the teammates that were there, we rode hard, communicated, took sprints from the die-hards, and enjoyed the cold outing. As motivated as I was, teammates were ready to roll as well. I put my efforts in for what I thought would be a 55-60 miles ride. They added a bit more than i anticipated. I bonked hard 65 miles on to the end. Luckily a teammate gave me a lift home to save me the uphill to my place from his, and ending with more than I was ready for is not all that bad for how fun it all was.

Sunday provided a bit of a different pace. I rode to a teammate's place and we rolled out to the roads by Mason Neck State Park for measured, interval work. It was a bit more than I expected, but it was just what my legs needed. A bit more work and effort to drive home the weekend's riding was great. Not to mention the warm, sunny 60s weather the area enjoyed. I now recline very tired, but glad with where my legs are. There is a lot of room for improvement, but I learned a lot this weekend and look forward to the races coming up.

Anyway, I want to get back in the habit of grabbing a few pictures for this place. Hopefully I'll have a few more to spruce up the posts with next time.

Thanks for reading.

On Again

2016-02-22T17:07:00.004-05:00

Each year, this off-season mantra plays through my head again and again: "You get out what you put in".

I live life trying to get the most out of it. I have talked on here before about how fortunate I feel to be in the position that I am to even pedal a bicycle for the fun of it. I am even more fortunate to be able to compete and try again and again to win.

Looking forward to my 2016 season, I see a lot of opportunity. That opportunity comes in the form of strategy. I am planning my season upon a more focused way of racing. I will play to my strengths, and do everything I can to give myself the best chance to win.

I have to finally let go of my amazing 2011 Scott Addict R2 frame that has treated me so well over the past 5 years. I have moved to a single-season used 2015 Felt AR5 frame. I am swapping over all of my SRAM 10speed components and powermeter. Until now, I hadn't realized I do not have a good picture of the bike yet, but here it is mid-assembly.

I had some help, but I did most of the assembly myself. No one to blame but me for any mechanical failure. Having worked in a bike shop over this past summer, a lot of things have been demystified. Having a better understanding of what I need to be doing as far as maintenance and repair will go a long way for me this year and beyond.

Speaking of which, I have applied to numerous doctor of physical therapy (DPT) programs. It has been an arduous process completing prerequisites, taking standardized tests, and waiting to hear back. More on this to come, I'm sure.

Funnily enough, my support crew has gotten the itch to start racing a bicycle, herself. I don't know if it's seeing my scars, watching crashes happen less than 100m from where she has been sitting, or all of my nerdy bike-talking over the past FOUR years, but she has herself a 2015 Felt ZW5 ready to race! Note that she came to me about wanting to race... I never suggested it, but I'm all for it and am ready to throw back my 100% support her way.

One thing we both recognize is that we hope for the same thing when we ride - to have fun! For me, losing sight of that serves no one any good. I like to think that having fun is what keeps me riding.

I'll finish this post by sharing a rider on the other side of the globe that I find to epitomize what having fun on the bike is all about. I discovered Mark Ferguson of "Cycling Maven"'s vlogs on YouTube recently and have not stopped watching. His channel and following has been growing, and I hope you all can see what I mean when you check out his videos. From racing tips and in-race footage, to rider interviews and life-style commentary, Mark shares with his viewers a lot of what makes him fulfilled in life and the cycling culture he loves in Melbourne, Australia. Check out his channel here: YouTube - Cycling Maven.

Thanks for reading. I hope to be touching base here more often. I've got biology class in less than an hour.

Where's The Podium #21: Dawg Days Circuit Race 3/4 - Last(?)

2014-08-18T21:13:00.000-04:00

This race... I'm not sure what I can say...

I fought hard, dug when I could, held my lines, and came up lacking in the last lap. I am frustrated, but no finger pointing except to myself. How much did I want this? How much did I want to risk in this pack? Sure, there was sketchiness and ridiculous riding on all sides, but my tactic to stay safe and ride opportunities when I could held strong for me until I faded in the last lap. I saw other team moves going and willed my legs to follow as best they could. I really stepped off of the gas in the last lap when I realized two things:

I was not going to win this race from where I was - edged out to in 20th+ spot after avoiding crashing into other riders swaying from their lines and squeezing their brakes.
I don't trust anyone around me - I've crashed enough this season. Seriously.

I did, however, decide to take pictures of my race experience - except during the race itself. Naturally.

I race...

26.3 mi/h average

182 hr average

98 rpm cadence average

I don't think there's much else to say. I will have to make up for this one. It's leaving a really bad taste in my mouth. I will keep riding and continue to drop weight for next season.

Thanks for reading.

Where's The Podium? #19: Poor House RR - crashed out

2014-05-03T22:43:00.000-04:00

Had worse.

It's a sickening feeling to go down on a bike. Worse feeling when you have found your way so close to a win, 150 meters more would have taken you there. This was violent, but more on that in a bit.

My coffee and granola bar breakfast sent me on my way to West Virginia in a happy, excited mood. I don't usually hit the road at 5:30am, but if its going to be for a bike race, I can't complain.

Martinsburg WV's finest ready to escort

Once parked, I hustled to registration and pinned my race numbers as fast as I could to have time to pee, make sure my brakes weren't rubbing rims, and slide into the starting area.

The organizer and official kept it short and sweet for the start, and we were off on the 10mile loop ready for our race. What wasn't short and sweet was our neutral start. I won't say much more than I am not used to a +2mile neutral start. At any rate, we were on our way to completing 3 laps of the loop.

Along the way, the pace was well kept. There were obvious teams interested in being at the front except on climbs where they all dropped back through the field. That was sorta funny, but I would not get in their way when they wanted to ride in front on the mostly downhill second half of the loops.

We had good speed for the race considering the terrain and the field strength. My only hiccup came during the second lap on the steepest of the climbs. For whatever reason, my right foot unclipped from its pedal right as I started to put on the wattage. This caused me to lose all speed and have to try and not panic as I clipped back in on this 9% hill and work my way back to the group. I wasted no time as there was another hill to cover, and I burned a match to get back on the group. It took a lot out of me, but I knew it was what I had to do, and that I was not going to lose this race on something like that.

Skipping to the last lap.

I work my way up the field and sat no higher that 5th wheel going into the final few miles. I see them ticking by and I know that I have to hold the wheel I have in front as he is going a great job keeping his spot. All I had to do was stay to the yellow line, wait for between 500m-200m to the finish line to open my sprint to the far outside left lane where 1. No one would get around me 2. The road's last 100m had a slight left-hand bend that I would use for even more advantage.

I was perfect. 800m to go, someone sped off my wheel to my left. He got a gap on the field but was fading. I begin my sprint 200m to go slingshotting someone else's wheel and I surge! My power is big and I feel this win slowly take me in. I am gunning for the wheel of the one off the front. I can see he is fading fast. I look up as he looks back for who might beat him to the line. It was to be me. I can feel myself breaking away from the front of the group. I tell myself that I am the fastest one here. Then - snap!

My body is slammed to the pavement at +32mph. I don't know what just happened. I feel my head hit. My face and body slide across the pavement and find a stop in the gravel at the side of the road. My twisted bike is somewhere behind me. The first thing I think to say "f*ck that!" (Sorry, parentals.)

I don't know what happened. I have guessed that my gears skipped and somehow that caused me to fly to the ground. Maybe someone flung their bike, in the frantic sprint, into my back wheel and took me out. I'm not sure though. All I know is that I was really close to that win, and I really wanted it.

Race promoter, Matt, was really helpful making sure I was alright, and with the help of some volunteers, found my keys that had flung out of my rear pocket* during my crash.

So as not to dwell too much more on this, I'm glad to say that apart from adding onto roadrashes of before, I am fine and ready to race tomorrow.

I did, however, lose my favorite jersey today.

Between the jersey, helmet, and bib shorts, I lost easily $400 worth of kit today. Could have been worse! - always!

I'm glad I will get to race tomorrow, and I hope that I can race this Poor House Road Race again next year!

Some more photos from today...

A bit scuffed

Take me home

As I was sitting by the roadside waiting for my keys to be found I heard a racer talking so someone walking back with him from the course say "The guy that crashed would have won." Then he pointed to me. Last night I typed out a message "I'll have some good news for you after my race tomorrow" to my girlfriend. That's how confident I was. I didn't sent it, but I guess me typing it out was enough to gynx it.

*my crash ripped open the stitching between my back pockets making it one long pocket-pouch.

Thanks for reading.

Where's The Podium? #18: Steel City Showdown 2014 - 22nd

2014-04-30T10:59:00.000-04:00

race-prep

Well, it has been some time since I have posted here. It has been over a year since the last post and that horrible crash. That's obvious. Less obvious might be the opportunities I have recently been afforded to ride, train, and race my bike. To put this quickly, my updates here have been lacking due to less riding. I have put a lot behind me and while opening myself up to a new challenge ahead, the window of opportunity to ride and spend time with my bike and the friends and support around it has presented itself. I'll take it. After this weekend's race and experiences I have been motivated, if not inspired, to have a go at posting again, and to keep ever diligent with riding.

Tough drive up

The Pittsburgh Steel City Showdown holds a good place for my racing legs. Though I haven't raced every year of its existence, the two that I have did not disappoint. This criterium race through downtown makes for an exciting venue and an ever challenging race.

This is a road trip.

Though this will be the first 2014 race recap, this is not my first 2014 race. The three previous races of the season were fairly squalid as far as performance and quality on my part. Having been dropped in two of the three and finished in the back (tho apparently I scored a DNF) of the other, any subsequent recaps do not need much more breath than that. It could go without saying that my expectations for this Cat3/4 race were not high. My Cat4 abilities are still finding their legs and race alertness.

IUP Cycling had a great showing in the morning's earlier Cat5 race. Club VP, Theron, took the win! Teammates Drew and Alex finished top 15 at 10th and 14th respectively. Those boys make the IUP Cycling alum proud and excited to see more success.

Race day looms

The Cat3/4 race started its way around the .8mi course in a hustle. My expectations for this race was that it was going to hurt, and I would do my best to hang in for as long as possible. The early laps set a firm tone for the peloton's proceedings.

Photo by Mike Briggs

I had the sneaking suspicion that I wouldn't last, but somewhere through the middle of the race my legs fell into a rhythm following the pace, turns, and constant accelerations up and around the two bridges.

The turns were the worst. Most of my time was spent regaining lost ground from having to touch the brakes through corners 1 and 2 from the sometimes sudden and ever unfortunate decellerations that had to be made. I quickly realized thst this pattern of slowing and subsequent acceleration was nothing I could waste any energy on. I would do what I had to to hold wheels, catch drafts back to the pack, and not allow any gap to form between me and the main pack. Potholes pinched nerves and the curb after turn 2 claimed at least 5 riders throughout the race. I could not understand how guys could overcook turn 2 and skim up on that outside curb after that turn. Yet it kept happening, and I made sure to hold my inside line.

Green dot - start/finish. Clock-wise.

Round and round, my legs kept up. It was well apparent to me that I was not the strongest in the race. I sought recovery every chance I could, but eventually I began to realize that I had opportunities to make gains on the field as sluggers on the front slowed after ascending the bridges. No one really wanted to make a blistering pace in the field, so the pace dropping allowed a lot of guys to catch back on. Instead of me hitting my breaks and holding my place near the back, I would allow a simple sling-shot effect to take place and gain positioning up bridge 1. I knew I could easily carry speed through turns 3 and 4 to carry momentum over the second through to the lap lines. This tactic would keep me in the hunt.

Photo by Mike Briggs

I kept an eye toward the lap cards flipping by when I could. Guys thinking they needed to bunny hop every pothole and gap in the road really got on my nerves, and kept me wary of someone making the wrong twitch into someone else's wheel to ruin everyone's day. As the laps moved on, my confidence and mentality strengthened. With 10 laps to go, I began noticing who the players for the finish wanted to be. Teammates began pairing up, and tho I didn't know any of them by strength, the tactics were simple. Follow their wheel for a ride to the finish.

I thought to myself "If you can see the front, you can be the front." I was going to give myself the best chance to win.

At this level, no one was going to be able to make a break away. With 3 to go, I knew that I had to be toward the front and hold my place there.

My adrenaline is pumping, my eyes twitch from wheel to wheel sizing up strengths and gaps in the field around me. Through turn 1 I am sitting halfway up the field. I ascend bridge 1 after a smooth, swift turn 2, and I put in a dig to keep myself moving as the front riders relax before they can dive into turn 3. Up the bridge to the line for 2 to go, I am sitting near 15th wheel. The penultimate lap is more of the same as I take more risks to put myself in the best place I can.

I am sitting 8th wheel as the peloton crosses the line to the bell lap. The pace is high and I follow a good line through the turn 1. I hold off touching my brakes as the back of my left hand is grazed by another rider's right. We acknowledge the contact by an instinctive twitch away from one another. My line into turn 2 is hindered by a surge from the outside squeezing me in. I accellarate hard through the turn to hold my positioning. Over bridge 1 and into turn 3 I have lost maybe 5 positions as more surge from the outside. My legs pedal through turn 4 and up the final bridge. I give it my all. I dig deep out of the saddle. My legs immediately burn and I feel my strength and acceleration dimming. My arms torque the bike side to side from the drops as I feel my handle bar jabbing my forearms. I sense riders flying past me and I know that my bid for a placing has passed. I keep turning as hard as I can for as long as I can through the finish line.

I finished 22nd out of 70 that crossed the finish line. I roll through one last lap to spin the legs, and I exit the course to go find my beautiful support girl on the sidelines of the course. I didn't register as immediately as she did that even tho I had not finished near the front, I had raced better than all season! This is certainly something to celebrate. I am so happy I had her and our Pittsburgh host cheering me on.

Looking back, I am really glad and honestly relieved to have given her something to actually cheer me on about. Me sitting 8th wheel at the end was, to me, the perfect place to be. I simply didn't have the legs to finish, but that will come with harder work put in. This performance is a step up because of my elevated training, and I know that the races will not be getting any easier.

By the numbers:

21.4 miles
50min 35sec
24.3 mph average

After the race I had the pleasure of meeting the inspiring person that is behind Cycling Inquisition. Klaus is a brilliant writer with a tireless passion for cycling as seen through the Colombian perspective. I had no idea I would ever get a chance to meet him, but he noticed the jersey he designed that I wore for the race and came up to me after the finish to introduce himself and share a chat. His humility and appreciation for me wearing his jersey was truly inspiring. I was more than happy to share that moment with my girlfriend and friend with me there.

The jersey trumped the "13" bad luck

Here are a few more pictures from the weekend...

Another weekend racer

She's my teammate, fan, and soigneur number 1. #lesigh

I am fortunate to have such great support around me!

Thanks for reading. Two races to face this coming weekend. Look for more updates soon.

Uncontrollable Moment

2013-06-06T07:02:00.003-04:00

It donned on me today during my ride that cycling gives me more back than I often realize. One word seemed to rise above all else: Hope. Circling my legs through the strokes of my ride I found moments of solace. Where I am now from where I was after my last race... Well, I know things have worked out well for me in a number of ways. Not everyone is as lucky. Other aspects of where I am will take more than time and simple hope. A determination and diligence is what I must call upon to realize goals further than just the future.

The last time I raced was in Chantilly, VA over a month ago. Being relatively close to where I live, I was able to drag my girlfriend there to watch me race for the first time. My parents were also able to make it, and I was excited to be able to ride my hardest for them all.

With decent training leading up to it and a good warmup before the start line, my legs felt good. From the start I was cautious of my efforts, but not afraid to follow moves I felt were important. If I wasn't at the front of the peloton or slightly off the front nursing a move, I kept toward the outside of the field. Experience with a Cat 4 field has this solidified in my racing style. Yet, as good as I felt, as cautious as I was being, nothing could be done to save me from experiencing the worst crash of my career.

THIS is why a cyclist shaves his legs.

In an uncontrollable moment my front wheel is pushed to my left beyond my balance by the rider in front of me while my rear is held in place by the rider behind - an unnatural twisting force that grapples my front wheel to dip to the left. My left hand lifts from its grasp of comfort and is extended in a frozen purgatory. My eyes scan between each pinpoint of information my mind is absorbing in its hyperactive state. I hear a my voice waver a panicked yell as I realize my painful fate is near . As far to the left of the field as I was, another rider is at a glance in my left peripheral and the instant I have to stabilize is now far gone. My only option is to brace for black impact.

I hit. My body groans again as the solid pavement I have just slammed into begins to rip and grind away my left side. I know that the best way for me to lessen the damage to my already fraying skin is to be released from my locked footing to my bicycle and roll. Immediately my left foot is released from under my bike by someone's own ill-fated position behind me having run over my bike. My eyes are sealed and after one roll I feel a stunning 1-2 jab to my right ribs and upper arm. These impacts revive another groan from my worsening condition and I roll over and over again to allow the mauling pavement to decide where I stop.

I am stranded - alone. I lie there writhing in sudden pain and panic while the adrenaline quickly numbs my senses to help me cope. My eyes open and although my agonized groaning has not stopped, my only other response to the panic I am feeling is to raise my head and slam it back down on the pavement that did this to me over and over - the adrenaline needs to work faster. My eyes close and open once more and my right hand gently presses against the tender ribs that were just run over by someone not unlike myself.

"How can I help you?" My groaning stops. I am not alone. From my left another sorry racer that has just ridden over me asks again, "What can I do?" I look up and reassure his panicked inquiry that there is nothing he can do for me. I blink and now see other riders sprawled out past him that have gone down with me - because of me. I close my eyes and slam my head back once more.

My breathing is sharp now and the first sensation of feeling I regain is a flap of skin that has folded off my right thumb that has just brushed the jersey on my side. I place my thumb into my mouth and bite off the skin and spit it out. This is no time for remorse. I know I have to now asses the damages and limit my losses. The pressure on my ribs rises to a crescendo and I groan once more. The other riders are regaining their bearings and are remounting their bikes to rejoin the circuit race before the field passes us once more.

I now realize two things. First, there is blood. Second, I feel no pain except the pressure on my side - my ribs are bruised but not broken. I sense the open skin on the side of my hip, left leg, knee and ankle, right hip and shoulder, forearms, knuckles, and fingers, but no pain.

I finally get up and pick my bike off the ground. I run the pedals through a stroke or two to make sure I did not lose more than what I can repair; myself. I know that I cannot continue the race and I begin my walk back along the outside of the race course to the start/finish. In my state of shock reluctantly accept a free ride back with a race medic. When he and I get back I see my girlfriend still watching the race as if I was still in it. My parents too... They all thought they must have just missed me passing by during the past few laps.

Their eyes scan the damage and I am profoundly grateful they are there to take my car and me home, and that I was not 4 hours away from home with only myself to drive. My girlfriend drove me as the adrenaline was wearing off and the pressures and pains began to creep into my consciousness. We search for proper bandages and make it back to my home with french bread pizza waiting for us.

Bike and blood rag retrieved a few days later.

After a week of training for a new position at work and another week helping open a new store I am able to ride again. The healing process was often painful, but it's over now.

Today, my knuckles and other skin have sealed and healed. My riding, subject to the schedule I now am without, is sporadic and hardly something I can call training. But I still get out and ride when I can. And that gives me hope that I can still realize dreams I have about this cycling thing.

(instagram: @johnnybrison) Thanks for reading.

Also, the guy that I watched win the race... I've beaten him before in sprints and I could have beaten him again. Next time.

Where's The Podium? #17: Salisbury Road Race - 6*th

2013-03-31T09:40:00.000-04:00

I am trying up up my fitness. With the work days and all that fills my weeks between the wars that I am slotted to wage come Saturday and/or Sunday, they call my kind the "weekend warrior." Each day can be a battle to do what I feel I need to do so that I can succeed and rise to each weekend's challenge. Yet, yesterday's road ~~race~~ war was not quite the type of ~~race~~ war I have been training for. As you read this please understand that my complaints here are not without reason. I felt unnecessarily unsafe in nearly every moment of the race and I will not sit idly by when a cheater tries to cheat me. I would have moved up if I could have, but this is the nature of these lower category races sometimes.

Despite my placing 6*th out of +/- 65 riders, yesterday's race was a poor road racing experience. The only "race" happened in the last kilometer. Before that, my brakes got more work than my legs.

Reason being, the tactical wariness and timidity of the category 4/5 race field. Two weeks ago I complained about the unnerving manner of the U-19 racer combined with the poor weather conditions. Yesterday's race had neither, but was the sketchiest race I have ever had to ride. On the first of four laps alone, there were 2 crashes. Because no one is willing to ride hard enough to make the peloton, nor least of all, themselves hurt a little to make the race an actual race, the riders were subject to suffer far worse consequences. I would be willing to wager nearly a quarter of the riders were affected by the 5-6 crashes yesterday. Disgusting.

But okay, Let me put some of this into context.

There is a center-line rule in place. That rule is there because the race organizers, despite the amazing work they do to make these events happen, could not get all of the roads closed to traffic. Thus, cars, trucks, horse-buggies, and anything else is allowed to drive through the course on the left side of the yellow line of the road while the races carry on. Simple. Understood by all. De jure. De facto... riders hate the yellow line rule for a number of reasons that I won't go into here, but they cheat it whenever they can and think the will win the race by doing so. It's next to impossible to move up when the peloton is tight and slow, but some can't seem to understand that the race will not be won cheating up a few places by going over the yellow line.

I had one guy try do it to me after a turn (where the yellow line disappeared through the intersection) and when I wouldn't budge over into another rider or slam on my brakes so that he could slot himself in front of me. I pleaded with him "Yellow line dude. Come on..." as if to say, "why would you try that? I'm not letting you in. I hate you right now." He protested back at me with, "It disappeared through the turn!" Readers... this is an example of the morons that I had to wage war against yesterday. It took an oncoming horse-buggie for him to pull his brakes and go back to where he was behind me. Pathetic. Dangerous. Cheater. Waste of a race entry.

One guy I called an explicative for cutting me at the beginning of the last lap so that he could be behind his teammate. As if that was going to make him win the race. As if that move was going to have him beat me. Nay, rider. Nay.

Yesterday, because no one wanted to ride at a decent pace on the front, because of the yellow line rule, and because these riders are novice, I and everyone else, was on my brakes way too many times. I was scared that one wrong move in the compact, stuck peloton would send my bike and me straight to the pavement.

My friend's race was ruined on the last lap when some rider on a climb decided to swing and swerve his bike over and accidentally into my friend's rear derailleur. This move caused the following to happen:

Broke the cable to my friend's rear derailleur - no more shifting for him - meaning he had to finish the race in that easier gear he was using to ride over the rolling hill where/when this event happened.
Rider that hit rear derailleur hits pavement next.
Rider hitting pavement hits other riders on the way down causing them to hit pavement too
The race is over for many riders and the lucky survive.

My strategy for this race became clear to me on the first lap. If I am to stay safe and out of the path of falling riders, I have to either be at the front or on the yellow line so at least I can swerve outside and not into someone next to me should something happen. That strategy paid off and I was able to go into the final turn down and up the finishing hills with decent positioning, perfectly un-fatigued legs, and enough clarity in my mind to want to end this race as soon as possible. Taking 6th was not a great or terrible result for me with a lot considered. But don't get me wrong... I'm content enough* with my placing.

No matter how much I complain about the terrible racing that my friend and I were subjected to yesrerday, nothing will change until we cat-up for stronger fields where race tactics, stronger legs, fearless riders, and everything else changes. I've been through these races before. I just hope my bike and I make it out safe again.

Easter colors for you from my morning drive up to PA

I would like to say thank you again to the support I have and the race organizers that put on these events for us. I am by no means complaining about their hard work, sacrifices, and commitment to us all. They do a wonderful job and I cannot thank them enough.

The sun was a welcome friend during the warm-up ride, ~~race~~ war, and drive home. It was incredible how I could feel the intense cold when someone's shadow passed over the lyrca on my legs.

Thanks for reading.

*Originally, results posted said I took 5th. USA Cycling official results put me in 6th. I need to train harder and drop these races with better results.

Where's The Podium? #16: Strasburg

2013-03-16T22:37:00.001-04:00

You could say this race had a lot not going for me. You could also say I couldn't care less.

I'm just happy to be racing again.

And that is how I am choosing to look at this early morning's experience. Leaving my house at 5:15 am to drive 2.5 hours for a 1.25 hour race may sound daunting to most, but I leave for work every day only an hour later to face 8-10 hours of retail onslaught. This morning's cycling onslaught is a trade I'm happy to make.

Strasburg, Pennsylvania is part of the great county of Lancaster. From iconic PA sights interwoven with its rich, unique Amish culture, bike races are allowed to flourish here and I hope to make my way up many more times. As you can see from these first two pictures, the morning was beautiful in sight. Yet the cold winds were leading the charge of a bitter spitting of hail turned snow for the 9:00am race start.

The race course had its rollers, twists, and Lancaster character. From the ripe smell of cow presence to the horse manure patching the roads... if you can't tell by now, this race was sketchy. Instead of me going into a long-winded explanation of all the forces against a more positive result for me, I will simply list them out for you to see.

Beginning with factors effecting the race overall...

First race of the season for many
Poor, cold weather
Snow making the roads wet and slick
U-19 riders not heeding warnings, yellow lines, or their positioning on the bike, within the peloton, nor anyone else around them
2 crashes - caused by the aforementioned factors, yet they still play a part (unnerving for some - tho one was right near the end near the back where the strong and capable of winning wouldn't be found)

And for me personally...

My first race in two years
Sketchy riders all around me causing me to be unnerved for much of the race
Legs weren't fluid - for a number of reasons on their own...

Poor training - SO MUCH WORK all on my feet for those 8-10 hour shifts (not a complaint- just a fact) My legs can only handle so much before fatigue cripples any gains I would hope to get from all the training I wish I could be doing
Asthma - this only comes up in extreme cold with high exertion and in extreme heat with extreme exertion - it flared up for the last 4 of the 5 laps sapping my needed oxygen for that ATP energy production, muscle recovery, and sustainable strength in the legs.

At the end - I was caught behind a crash that took our 5-6 riders in front of me and almost claimed me with it. Glamourless onslaught.
Legs didn't have it.

Legs didn't have it.
Legs didn't have it.

If my legs did have it, I wouldn't have been caught in the back behind that crash at the end that nearly took me out with it. I would have been up front with my friend going for the top step. But you know what... I got 22nd and I can only hope to improve with hard work, more dedication, and trusting myself.

I'm not done here yet.

I've done what training I could so far, and I will continue to do what I can as I dive into this upcoming season. It's a balancing act I feel most have to contend with. As much as I may feel mine is the worst, I cannot help but simply retract any negativity and replace it with appreciation for my ability to race, all the support I have around me, and what I hope to still accomplish. I have a lot of work to still do, but no one is in my way*.

Leaving Lancaster, PA and the Strasburg road race was not accompanied by disappointment. Seeing people going about their daily lives of work in this weather I hated to race my bike in certainly reminded me of the perspective I carry. I'm finally racing again and I couldn't care less about the placing I got today... I'm lucky to be able to do this. I will be back to race in Lancaster two weeks from now and I look forward to it. I am happy that my friend's hard work in training time and efforts payed off with a 3rd place and I hope I can help him out a bit more next time and slot myself up a few places in doing so.

100% Colombian + me = 200% Colombian

Thanks for reading.

instagram: @johnnybrison

*except me

Finally Snow

2013-01-24T19:04:00.000-05:00

It's about time Northern Virginia acquired the justification for calling it "winter" and these cold temperatures. It was a dusting and no one was freaking out, but it was a welcome sight to me. I had the day to myself and though I didn't get too much done as far as productive, inspiring accomplishments go, I did drive to the post office for a package that was already delivered. Whoops.

Bean boots were chillin' in the whip.

With my fruitless errand fulfilled for the day, my check engine light decided to awaken from a deep, peaceful slumber. After 38,000+ miles, this '08 Hyundai had better not be trying to cost me money.

Note: no check engine light captured here... I just took the pic feeling lucky to have caught the moment.

Tomorrow I have work at the nice early time of 7am. I enjoy that early time. I don't know if I'm an "early bird," but when there's a job to be done, I'd rather have it slap me awake. At any rate, that's too early for me to get my car to a shop and figured out. Now I know what you're thinking... why didn't I just take it in today? Well, I had an on-call shift that I might have had to go in for and I just thought I could drive it in and there would be no problem.

Well, that would have been a problem. One should really not drive their car anywhere with their check engine light on, unless it's to a dealership to get that junk checked.

I just hope that check doesn't cost me money. It will have to happen this weekend I think. My mom is letting me borrow her car tomorrow.

Anyway, I went to Philadelphia with the pretty girl in this next picture. Unfortunately, her cat could not join, but we had fun seeing an IUP friend living there. I hope to make it back up there for a visit or two this year.

Also, I am LOVING the camera my girlfriend got me as an early birthday gift. I resisted having her gift it to me early, but she convinced me otherwise and I'm glad I caved. In fact, all of the photos on this post (and probably most every other from here on out) were taken with the new camera!

I seriously take this wonderful camera with me everywhere!

Never had a fancy latte like this before.

These teeth have not been this clean in a long time.

I'll close this post out with a few shots I took of a fiery sunset from a few days ago. I was driving to the mall with my friend Donnie and we were enjoying the scenic sky.

Thanks for reading.

For Me Lately

2013-01-15T01:05:00.001-05:00

I'm just going to let my fingers do the talking on this one. I want to tell you all about the ride I had this weekend that would quickly turn into one of those "Okay... but what have you done for me lately?" types of topics if I allow it to linger too far beyond tonight.

I didn't do this one alone. As it turns out, I wouldn't have thought to do this ride or put in the effort that I did without a training partner. And before you all think I'm about to get all bromantic here, it makes for a huge difference mentally to have someone suffering, questioning their existence, and able to help you along riding next to you (and sometimes in front). It is something I have not had in this particular fashion on the bike before and I believe it will make us both stronger because of it - we are pushing each other at our most vulnerable.

Now, I say that I wouldn't have thought to do this ride without someone suggesting we tick away at it because it's true. I'm a sucker for the same stuff. Same rides, same routes, same whatever I have to do to not get myself lost and feeling like a helpless puppy... you get it... I'm a sissy about some things. When an opportunity like this presents itself to me (i.e. someone else is navigating), I'm not going to back away without feeling like I'm taking something away from myself easily. That being said, limits are taken when the legs aren't there or when the weather turns way too sour for a quality ride to be had and I could just ride my trainer for proper fitness and not cycling equipment testing.

That being said, when the esteemed weather-folk give us the "sunny skies in the middle-to-high 60s on Sunday" and things are actually "cloudy and fog all day with a chance of some rain for some of you with temperatures holding in the low-to-mid 50s"... don't you lie to me! Okay, we can't complain for the weather turning out that way in JANUARY, yet in principle no one appreciates feeling lied to when they plan their lives...

I'm going to go ahead and pump the brakes on my fingers here. The tangents are all generally understood.

Anyway, I wish I had brought my cameras. Filming on a day like this would have been amazing. What else do I have a weatherproof camera for!?!? Obviously, I'm kicking myself for not bringing it along as well as my new point-and-shoot for the gratuitous post-ride pictures. We were soaked, chilled, dirtied, tired, and in awe of the ride we had just experienced.

The Experience.

Have you ever ridden through and above a rain cloud before? This day's experience is one I do not think I will soon have again. Riding somewhere between where fog you drive through and the clouds you look up to - we rode into a rain cloud. Surely one has driven through this sort of thing, but there is hardly anything I can use to describe it when I was so intimately a part of it.

You were not there feeling the pain through your body as lactic acid lit fire to every muscle sending your blood scour your lungs for every molecule of oxygen available. You were not battling kind of pain that makes your mind turn against you as a way to protect itself pleading for your submission. You were not wanting to quit like I was. I had forgotten this kind of suffering and how much it makes me love riding.

For a moment we saw the sun this day. You did not.

In that moment of bright, blue, partly-cloudy skies we were reminded that everything experienced on this would be for the better in days to come. I know that some day ahead I will have the benefits of this day's suffering and feel stronger than everyone else around me... for a moment. The moment passes as the cold, wet fog engulfs us through another descent as we still have many miles yet to ride back.

And when it is all over with, it is a ride and experience like this that simply reminds me how lucky I am to continue suffering like I do for it. I know I am achieving no worldly "greatness," but in my own way I can say that I am able to experience more than so many others through my highs and lows on the bicycle. I ride for that pain and suffering to know my limits, and to push beyond them and my mind telling me to stop. Because sometimes its nice to feel that control where the rest of your world seems to dictate so much and hold you back.

Thanks for reading.

Zero to Eleven

2012-12-18T20:29:00.002-05:00

Turns out influenza has grabbed me and knocked me sideways. Indeed, I won't be riding my bike or doing much of anything for the next few days. If you were to look at my Strava, you might think...

Huh. This guy hasn't been doing any sort of riding anyway. Well, truth is... I have been riding. Granted, I haven't been riding a huge amount, I just haven't been uploading. Really, winter training is nothing glamorous. I've said it before and I'll say it onward. But, allow me to upload my riding...

Give it a minute...

11 activities. Now, I know that's not all that many for 4 weeks. But for me... working where I do during this retail intense season, finishing up two classes taken during this past fall semester at NOVA, and life's twists and turns (like the flu), I think I've done pretty well.

I know that consistency is very important and something I want to keep up with. I have tried slot into a routine with work, classes, and life. I do intend to take another course next semester. What I also intend to do is continue riding as best that I can.

For now, I will be doing my best to fight this influenza slapping me around. I hope everyone has a great holiday season and new year!

Thanks for reading.

Thank You, Cycling Subconscious

2012-11-21T14:53:00.000-05:00

On my way home from work yesterday I had a wild ~~sensation~~ craving to race my bike. It's been a while since I've had those random images flash through my mind coupled with a foreboding urge to trash my legs through the pedals and into the bike.

The sensations do not last too long. This one was interrupted but the relatively easy traffic on 495 leaving Tysons and the thought of the training I must do to keep the hope of racing my bike alive. I'm not saying it will be a slim shot of me racing, I just mean that it will take some work and sacrifices.

Those sacrifices will not drop easily.

In any case, I am being reminded that the bike provides a balance in my life that I need. There is no real simpler way to put it.

I also recently had a dream where I was racing the Penn State Nittany Cycling Classic road race again. It was not the same course but my mind was trying to reconstruct the race, the hills, and the enjoyment I had racing it, and though I got to a point where I knew I was dreaming about it, I didn't want it to stop.

And all of this means that I don't want to stop riding, training, and racing. So I won't stop. Cycling in my subconscious is something I'm thankful for. It's giving me a lot to challenge myself to and keep working for.

Of course, I'm also thankful for my loving parents and family, as well as a beautiful gal who supports my cycling passion. Her birthday is this Saturday too!

And thank you for reading!

Treat Me Tricks

2012-10-29T00:52:00.003-04:00

Realistically speaking, if I were to be paid to do the things I love - the things I wish I could do - I would be very lucky. It's just that... I'm being paid to take over-priced clothes out of cardboard boxes (and horrendously wasteful plastic surrounding each article of clothing) and refolding them to be put on shelves. It's an obvious statement that isn't what I enjoy doing, nor wish to be paid to do.

And before I go any further, I must make it clear that in these times, it is not lost on me that I have a certain degree of luck to even have this job. This is not a post to further dig myself into a hole from anyone's perspective than I already sometimes do. Remember, these and all posts are written for me in the moment for which I write them. These notions will pass and hopefully by the end of this, I will have found the silver lining that keeps me thinking I should stay positive... or that sleep will make it better.

I am passionate about cycling and the sport that has captured me. I wish I could be doing it full time. It isn't that maybe I couldn't see a potential to do this sport full-time in a way that might eventually lead to a professional taste, but it's that my life has been painted in such a way that the notion of such a hope I could commit to cannot exist now without the loss of my more realistic prospect of a future and financial existence. Is that the truth's pill I must regularly swallow? I know that sacrifices have been made by others beyond what I can think of myself doing to make this notion of this passion-fueled dream a reality. I know that I do not have the raw talent that others possess to become great and truly one of the sport's elite. Right?

I mean... what am I in all of this for? Myself? I am finding that harder to believe. Yet, I do believe nearly everything we do is for our own benefit. I like to think that what I do today will make a difference for my better or worse tomorrow. I like to think that I can live in the moment and get out on top. I like to think that I am making the most of everything this life will give me. Am I?

That sentiment is under some serious scrutiny tonight, folks. I keep having these thoughts of mild clarity go through my head that simply lead to racing thoughts of the world I am in. Most recently, I've thought that if I was as idle-minded as the world would have me be, would life just be easier? If I was someone that ignored the blatant lies, didn't see through the schemes media and advertising would have me follow, didn't jab against the fear this world would have me ~~believe~~ trust keeps me safe and aware, if I didn't punctuate, articulate, and communicate my thoughts while the lazy wagged their tongue, or forget that no one changes even when I've been told to stay true to who I am, would life be simpler? Has my wanting to fill my recent existence with as much evident beauty, crudeness, and in-between experience just entirely clouded and hindered my forward self? If I lived where life was tougher, where I fought to survive, had no time for wondering thoughts, where I had to make my own way without the warmth around me, would life's calling have revealed itself? If I couldn't choose my battles because the fight never ceased, would life have it's purpose? Strip it all away and we're all just trying to survive in our best interest; making choices to satisfice from what we have, and to sustain.

I don't care about money if I can do what I love to do. But that's a lie. I have to care. I can't do anything without money in this life. I have no way to support a family one day. Right? I have no way to eat. Right? I have no place to live. Right?

I know I can complain all I want about how little 'ole Johnny can't get his way. What I don't know is whether the way Johnny chooses to go will be enough to make him see that his wish to do what he loves must become worth so much less than what he ends with. Do you see? If I simply can't get what I want, can I find a way to numb what I feel knowing that this is how it is going to be?

I've been told that I am one that could do great things. What I am struggling with is the fear that what it is I will end up doing will not serve any purpose but to support what's around me, put food on a table, and a roof overhead; great for naught - in action and substance. I put pressure on myself, yes. I want to be more. I want to somehow transcend a simple, privileged self.

Readers, I cannot seem to ignore these thoughts, and I don't know if its even good for me to; though it probably would seem that I should, and would be better off - happier in blissful ignorance. That's what you'd do. Right?

I want more out of myself and am trying to figure out where I will find it.

Thanks for reading (but PLEASE not too much into this). Sometimes I just need to get thoughts down and out when stress weighs in. Trust me, there is a lot that I am looking forward to down the road... it's just how I am to get there with how long it will take, and even now while I wait, how can I keep making the most of things? I have been trying for a long time and I need new tricks to keep it going. It's that I need something to fill this time gap of my apparent suspension to make me think that it's all happening this way for a reason and that it's only going to keep getting better. Sometimes I get bored, and I think I need treats to trick me.

A Summer Ago

2012-10-22T11:26:00.000-04:00

Last summer was the summer I graduated from college. As excited as I was to venture forth to my perception of the real world's open, expectant arms, the only job I got was that of a mosquito larvae killer. I'm sure that I have discussed the job here before, but one day I took a camera with me. And today I will share pictures I took of my day.

Before the pictures started, my day began at 6am at our (Clarke's) office/ home base in Manassas, VA. Given that the day was without a rainfall hindrance, co-workers and I receive our sections of Fairfax county map to cover for the day. We grab about 30+ bags containing 40 sacs of the biological larvicide called Vectolex that we will be using for the day (15+ bags to each person). After stuffing those 30 or so bags into our respective company bikes, we lift those into the beds of our truck(s), and head toward the ever- worsening traffic on route 66 West back toward Fairfax and the sections of map we are to cover.

Let's get this day going!

After dropping my coworker off on his map, I drive around to find where on my map I should start.

Also, this job made my arms skinny.

Good enough.

Then I unload this puppy, and contemplate my strategy to knock the map out. What a beaut...

I have a company gps/phone to note when I toss each packet found in those white bags you can see in the pannier.

Inevitably, this muscle straining steed would have a number of breakdowns (not far from the number of breakdowns it would cause me to have) and I would have to get to the nitty gritty and fix what wouldn't stay fixed.

Somehow, that third chainring couldn't seem to catch that chain.

The days were long. I would ride for 5-6 hours covering up to 40+ miles of whatever Fairfax county had to give me that day tossing up to 600+ of those Vectolex packets down the curb-side drains (catch basins). I would miss a lot, but my throwing technique somewhere between that needed to toss a throwing star and frisbee rendered me some good numbers for the days.

Everything would vary with the type of map I had... hills, traffic, catch-basin density of the map, residential versus commercial, my legs, my mind, my co-worker's work ethic and motivation.

Red dots covered the sections of maps noting where catch basins were to be located. A red slash through the dot denotes a successful packet toss down the drain. A circle was put around ones that were not there, and triangles were placed to show uncharted catch basins. We were supposed to mark our travel along the map with highlighter, but that horrible waste of time only slowed me down on the bike on top of having to press a button on that phone of ours every time we tossed... no thank you. Just be happy I get better, honest numbers of tosses.

This map is clear!

Salt lines... you should see my shorts from that summer... not to mention tan lines.

Anyway, once it was time to head back I will have received a call from my coworker as to where would be good to pick him up.

Don't look at me, bike. I hate you.

Long day, folks.

This job had some obvious set-backs. 1. It took a lot out of me. Physically, riding 5-6 hours in the 90-100+ heat and humidity of the Northern Virginia summer was draining. 2. Sure, I didn't have a night-life, girlfriend, or much else to do apparently, but it also took away from my cycling outside of the job. I couldn't train for racing while the stop-and-go heaving of that company bike was going in for most of my days. Simply... 30-40 miles in 5-6 hours is not training. 3. I HATED hills. They were made so much worse with that 30lb+ bike and all of those bags to toss. I had to stop and start both up and down them. Not cool, ya dig? 4. It lost it's fun and novelty after a bit. Sounds like a cool, perfect job for a cyclist, but for a guy that wants to train and race, it kills the legs.

However, I will say that looking back, there were obvious advantages this job had. 1. Novelty. Sure it waned on me, but it is quite the conversation piece. 2. The pay was actually pretty good. At $11/hr, that was better than my next, retail job for a while. 3. I could escape. My days were long, but they were my days. I could go as fast or as slow as I wanted and I LOVED hills (they made me work hard and suffer as a cyclist). The only things I had to deal with was the map, missing the target on my tosses (especially by only like an inch - having to stop my momentum to turn around to only kick or pick back up and re-toss the little packet), and the pathetic bike my legs pumped away at (and okay... sometimes dehydration, exhaustion, mental and physical burnout, sweat down to my skivvies like I had just jumped in a pool, and the occasional lazy coworker or two).

Writing this post out makes me think - maybe I should do again it next summer... The time since, working retail, is wearing on me in a number of ways (no pun intended). It actually might be really good for me to taste this kind of summer freedom before I really head back to school full time. I'll put more thought into it and I'll let you know.

I said to myself during the job that no matter how tough the day was, looking back I would rather be out riding and suffering there than be unhappy somewhere else. Indeed there were more bad days than good, but the good always made up for the rest and I appreciated it.

And I must say that holds true on all accounts, friends.

Thanks for reading.

Stability Forth

2012-09-26T21:25:00.001-04:00

Plagued by injuries, a treacherous work schedule, and other unpredictable ups and downs, this season off from racing has not always been easy for me to deal with. I have thought to blog more, but haven't been able to work up the energy until now I suppose. This blog is for my riding and mindset toward racing. Since there hasn't been any of that, I just haven't felt it right to update it.

Anyway, I am foreseeing some stability in my life at least for the next year. Stability in this case will mean that I can look toward racing next year. I will be a Cat4 and I will be hungry. My planning and preparation will begin tonight as I construct my training program.

However, there are a few things I must remind myself and even those around me if I am to commit to this.

I will believe in myself, and in all that I do - know that I am doing my personal best mentally and physically.
This will not be easy; a commitment to suffering is key.
Sacrifices will have to be made.
I will become stronger in every way.

I get flashbacks of my first win at Bucknell with my IUP team and how I did it with the help and support of my eager, passionate friends there. I savored the pain, effort, power, and numb elation I felt after crossing that finish line first with my teammate celebrating next to me. I remember my second win at the Bud Harris Cycling Oval in Pittsburgh where I had my very first race two years before. I remember the commanding sprint I won after a friend gave me his all to put me in the right position through the final bend to latch a wheel and overtake with bike lengths to spare. These are two moments among many that I cannot forget and will not let be the only times I will have accomplished goals for my bike and myself.

Tonight, I will construct my training program to take me into next year and the races I hope to show well in. Pulling from the strengths I have developed, the weaknesses I will combat, and the challenges I still hope to face, this program and race schedule will prove to be a real test for me. There is no time to lose and I want this.

Yet I know that I cannot do this without the support of those around me. Though I will be putting myself through a lot to reach what I want, I cannot forget that my life affects others. I will seek a balance in my life on and off the bike with my friends and family, my work and studies, and of course, my beautiful, supportive girlfriend. She is telling me to not hold back and I couldn't agree more.

I am a person with focussed passions. No, I have not always known what I have wanted to be or do with my life, but right now I know that I want to race my bike. Next year will be an opportunity for me and I want to take it.

Thanks for reading.