While my 2.16 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo Processor* Gently Weeps

Suicide Notes

2011-05-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

I was wondering if people ever post suicide notes via new media, ie facebook, twitter, and I came across this the other day. It's beautiful, maudlin, horrifying, and, if you've spent your whole life cycling in and out of suicidal depression, sort of funny. It's a bunch of suicide notes that I guess ended up at a morgue. Check it out, here.

Coffee Wars: Portland Edition

2011-05-23T11:38:00.000-07:00

Spent two nights and full day in Portland. It was a sort of throwback Artist's Date for my wife and I. The goal was to spend an entire uninterrupted day at Powell's Books, and talk to each other without being interrupted by triplets until there was nothing left to talk about and we were just quiet in intervals. We stayed at the Westin which has great beds, the Heavenly Bed(tm) and we saw Kurt Loftstrom, the guitar player in my old band, My Eye, and met his housemate/significant other Ann Grugich and were pretty much blown away and inspired by their work. But this post is about coffee.

Like a said, we stayed at the Westin. Right next door, close enough for a 10% discount, was Public Domain coffee. Sort of a cross between Intelligentsia (without the pretention) and Blue Bottle (without the full on gadgetry). A good, solid third wave coffee place. I toggled back and forth between a short latte in a cappuccino cup, and an espresso machiatto, my drink of choice at Intelligentsia. We visited Stumptown on break from Powell's bookstore. I had a machiatto there, too. Both places were like Intelligentsia in the sense that the coffee was non-offensive, smooth as a shot and could be drunk basically straight, but didn't have a whole lot of character.

I think both places were actually slightly better than Intelligentsia, in that regard.

I bought a pound of the Prometheus blend at Public Domain, and the Hair Bend blend at Stumptown. Right now, I'm making the hair bend at home and it's a dark nut brown, with a frothy crema - extraordinary, when compared to average coffees, actually, and right down the pipe even with the other really good 3rd wavers, ie Blue Bottle, Four Barrel, Vivace, Victrola.

Side note: I'm using a blend of Illy - the old uber-expensive standby - and whole bean from Cost Plus right now - I use a scoop of each in the espresso basket, and that's pretty good. The Stumptown, or Stumptown split with Illy is better.

I have a dream

2011-04-29T13:27:00.000-07:00

Merry Christmas

2010-12-23T09:35:00.001-08:00

Redd Kross at the Paladium.

2010-12-07T15:53:00.000-08:00

Being funny, being themselves. AHHHCK!!! I can't believe I missed them playing. They opened for Faith No More. I feel it like a hole in my gut. They sound great. Check it out.

Dang Gubmint

2010-12-01T20:27:00.000-08:00

I do this act for my kids which is always sure to get a big laugh. I act like a gun-totin' tobaccy chewin southerner, and I start talking 'bout how de dang gubmint got it hands in my bidness and ya'll better git off my popperty. And then I play my banjo and pretend my wife is my sister and have my way with her. (That part is after the kids go to sleep.)

Ya'll check THIS out.

So today, I went to one of my very favorite restaurants in LA, Abbott's Pizza Company link. It was a bright sunny day and I wanted to sit outside and enjoy the sunshine and eat my pizza. But, sadly, they had removed the outdoor seating. When I asked the woman behind the counter about it, she informed me that the authorities told them that the seats were a safety hazard and that they had to be removed. (Note the picture above, with outdoor seating still intact, people happily eating pizza in the noontime California sun, not visibly dangerous to anyone.) And then these same authorities came back a week later and told them that they could have their seats back out front if they paid $10,000. Which of course makes them more safe, huh? Like paying the mafia makes your store more safe.

Here's another recent incident, also meal and extortion-related (on a smaller scale).

I stopped at a cafe in Hermosa Beach for breakfast and got out of the car, quarters in hand. Looked down at the sign on the meter. No payment required until 10 a.m. Street cleaning Wednesday. I put my quarters back in my pocket, since it was 8:15 a.m. on Tuesday. When I came back, I had a $35 ticket for street cleaning. Which, I think I mentioned, happens on Wednesday.

I was angry and upset. I ranted for a while and people listened patiently. But in the end, I sent 'em the money. It was easier and I'm sort of a puss. Plus, I figure ... it's for the city. Whatever. I would just prefer that Hermosa Beach Police have a Policeman's Ball or something, rather than handing out spurious tickets to get money from people. I say this because it wasn't the first time it happened in the South Bay.

Third and final story: Over Thanksgiving dinner, my very-conservative mother-in-law said that the government has made it virtually impossible for her to volunteer for Meals-on-Wheels because there are so many regulations and .... well, that sounds like a lawyer problem, with liabilities and so on. But she was blaming the government's vast overcontrolling tentacles. Rush says, and she believes, that Obama has personally made it impossible for her to be nice anymore. I was sort of mocking her with my clever inside voice, but now I'm starting to think, huh, well maybe she's onto something.

I draw 2 conclusions from these 3 incidents.

1) I guess The Gubmint's pretty hard up.

2) The self-perpetuating momentum of our legal system means that we will always have more laws, and less personal responsibility, rather than the other way around.

Which leads me to state, not completely randomly but in a channeling-the-voice-in-the-wilderness way: why can't we have a socially liberal, fiscally conservative solution? Or at least an option? Option for what, you ask? Everything. Isn't that what 'merica's all about? Freedom? Personal responsibility? Eating pizza and a soda and hanging out in the sunshine?

Dang gubmint.

Cross-eyed Tired.

2010-11-30T20:14:00.000-08:00

Just dodged a near argument w/the wife. Aweful weary. Flying all day today from the Gulf Coast of Texas-Home to Redondo Beach, CA.

Read: a couple great articles today in Best Non-required Reading of 2010. One was about the influx of capitalism in India. "Capital Gains." The other was about these 'after school club' evangelists that go around converting little kids to Christianity. Ah, the stories we tell ourselves. "Stuff" will make us happy; and, on the other hand, it doesn't matter if we're happy here because heaven awaits. And, somewhere in the middle: me. A little bit happy, a little down a lot of the time. Knowing there's no heaven and that stuff won't fix me. Stuck in this no-man's land. Anyway, this compilation of writing Best Non-required Reading of 2010 was put together by Dave Eggers and a collection of High School students. Buncha good thought provoking writing and observations and assorted content in there. I picked it up because I was in need of some inspiration and it hasn't disappointed. In fact, highly recommended.

My Life is not a Novel

2010-11-29T14:28:00.001-08:00

I've just been overwhelmed this weekend by all the things I never wrote. The things I briefly thought of and then because I got busy with work and kids and crap, or figured there was no point to it, I never put them down on paper. Why write? I don't even have time to read. And who does? We've made ourselves so busy. But I was just writing a belated birthday card to my Aunt, and I wrapped up the note with this very existentialist* observation that my life lacks the proper structure of a "story;" and why do we have these artificial templates that we overlay our lives with anyway? Why this urge to make sense? And (with a nod towards Campellian mythic stuff) why do these constructs seem universal?

And I was remembering when this thought first came to me, ... "My Life is Not a Novel" ... the first time I didn't write it down: I was standing on a corner in the Fremont neighborhood of Seattle Washington, looking at Fremont's new set of clothes, (Fremont has changed outfits innumerable times since I was a child - one hippie dream after another, and now pleasantly stable with Adobe or whoever that yuppie tech complex is down by the water where people bring their dogs to work and write code) and I just walked out of a 2nd/3rd/4th/5th hand ancient kitsch store, and I was submerged in nostalgia, standing on the corner and the line came into my head: "My life is not a novel." That was going to be the beginning of ... something, most probably with ironic intent, a "novel." And all these other lines that were about this me/not me came into my head right then and it had to do with the artificial construct we lay on life and how it's really, in my experience, much more a series of unrelated impressions, Impressionistic** but not in the French way, ie just stuff that happens. If I was smarter or more well-read, there's a word for this. Perhaps Existentialism. And I stumble over and I have a tough time regaining my footing, what's this? another cringing contradictory conflict w/in myself: the hopeless romantic atheist; the denier of all that's superstition and illogical in search of a meaningful mystical experience. Desperately wanting to believe in God, but remembering when I spied those presents atop of the cupboard by the basement stairs before Christmas and I knew I'd been duped.

*I don't know what existentialism is. I read NoExit when I was a kid - eh, 14 or so - and I really liked it. I think existentialism has to do with things just existing and not having to make sense of them, or call out right and wrong. I'm going to look it up on Wikipedia of course in a bit, but I like my definition better. I've been using it in internal dialogue for a while.

**another word that I'll use as I please, if that's okay Mr. Professor. When I was in college I used "surrealistic" once in the wrong way, regarding some cataclysmically bad stream-of-consciousness introductory chapter to a "novel" I was starting - and was chided for it - so I'm a little self-conscious.

My children are milling like rabid seagulls and I'm wearing a body suit of croutons ie they're trying to get my attention.

Happy Fangsgiving

2010-11-28T09:51:00.000-08:00

I have three kids. I'm trying to teach my kids manners. It's not working. My kids are teaching me bad manners. They outnumber us, and they know it My son is completely incapable of sitting on his bottom. I see myself in him a lot. I also see his simian background a lot. He's a daydreamer, willful, precocious, left handed and likes to play with army men, setting up vast battle scenarios and very obviously a primate. So there he was, at Thanksgiving, crouched on his chair, and bouncing, elbows on the table, waving a fork with a huge ravioli impaled on it. And I look over at my daughter and she has her knife and spoon stuck up inside her upper lip like a saber tooth tiger and she says "Happy FANGSgiving." Indeed. I give up.

Think Smalley

2010-11-27T09:56:00.000-08:00

Picking up where Stuart Smalley left off: I know Stuart is retired now and has some mindless government dayjob. (http://www.alfrankensense.com/) But someone has to stand in front of the mirror and tell themselves not to kill themselves. It's a dirty job, but ... you know how it goes. The funniest thing – I think (like anyone cares what I think, I'm such a piece of shit!) that Stuart Smalley ever did was to attempt to write a daily meditation book. He began with an entry on January 1, with all of these grand promises to himself, and goals, and so on, and then there’s not another entry until January 22 where he proceeds to beat the crap out of himself. I hold somewhat the same relationship to blogging and writing in general. And life! So much so-so talent; so little to show for it. And what's my excuse? I'm tired, Hepatitus C, I have to work a lot, three kids, but mostly it just comes down to the fact that I fucking hate myself so much and generally have to over-compensate for my sea-bottom low self-esteem with grandiose goals and aspirations and when I don't live up to my inflated expectations of myself, I hate myself even more. Anyway. What I like best about Stuart Smalley (besides the fact that he introduced me to the hilarious-yet-poignant term “shame spiral”) is that he was so desperately unmanly. Not a fag, but just sort of dickless and overly-sensitive and effeminate. Once again, that's me! Just my feelings themselves on a daily basis are so tsunami-like that they really threaten to drown me. Some days I have to give myself a 40 minute pep talk just to get out of bed. And by that time, the day is ruined anyway, so why bother. Holy Marcus Aurelius, the Stoic Emperor* I’ve been trying to be Spock for probably 40 years and I’m still overwhelmed by my own emotionality. I sometimes wonder if all my problems could be solved with a bigger penis. Heck, I KNOW they would. Then I wouldn't be effeminate and moody. Judging from the ads that appear in the back of men’s magazines and occasionally poke my eyes on the internet I’m not the only none suffering from this lack of thunder down under.

Anyway, I started this blog a while ago and I was really committed to … something. Or maybe I was bored. And then I got really busy. Okay, I’m not being completely honest. I'm such a liar! That's another reason I hate myself! The last post I wrote ... well ... someone who I respect got offended by it, and I realized that I had become exactly what I was bagging on. And so I decided to withdraw and self-flagelate myself in private for a while. A while! Like all eternity, that's what I deserve! God i suck! I don't even know how to spell flagellate! But really, there’s nothing more pathetic than a writer that doesn’t write. That's like a jackoff that doesn't masturbate.

And then there's the losing the hard drive issue. I just lost my second hard drive... almost a year to the day after I lost my first hard drive ... which went away suddenly as I was sending a larger brochure-like-book to a client, or was it a booklike brochure? And the hard drive went away with about ten years worth of work, frick, erasing all of my writing and advertising writing which I'd been coasting on and using as thought starters for all of my freelance work – all because I wasn’t taking the time to back stuff up (yet another way in which I suck) and so since no one ever reads this here, I figure, it’s probably the safest place to keep my writing. And I don’t need to publish it. I can just leave it, you know, unpublished, in the cloud. Along with my social security numbers and all of my PINS and credit card numbers. Or just publish it, who gives a crap. No one will look. Hide it all in plain sight.

*I always wanted to be like this guy. The Emperor Marcus Aurelius, one of history's few true Philosopher-Kings. Someone who wrote and wasn't a fag and had the respect of his father. A leader of men. Ah, to be in control of vast armies, to rule an empire as well as one's emotions and mind. It's funny though, when I read him now he's inspiring in spots, but it all seems a tad ... juvenile? Meditations. On the battlefield and off, why so much self-talk as to how one should act in the world?

Man, I wish I lived in Spain sometimes.

2010-09-21T09:51:00.000-07:00

but then I wouldn't get to work on healthcare advertising. I mean, heavens to Betsy, any place where Redd Kross is a headliner over all of these other fine quality bands, has to be a little paradise on earth. I've actually spent a little time in Madrid. Not a blade of grass to be found and a lot of cars double, triple and quadruple parked. Worth visiting for the Prado, which I think is the best fine art museum in the world.

Flash Forward Fridays.

2010-05-07T11:18:00.000-07:00

Go to http://in20years.com/

See what you'll look like in 20 years! If you keep doing drugs, and if you don't. I used a picture of me FROM more than 20 years ago (that someone was kind enough to post on facebook) to see what I would have looked like if I kept doing drugs. Man, that's one sad mofo.

White Stripes

2010-05-05T17:43:00.000-07:00

How to Train Your Dragon Was Surprisingly Good.

2010-04-05T17:21:00.001-07:00

That's it. Have a nice day.

Not to end the season, on a bitter note, but ...

2010-03-26T22:18:00.000-07:00

GO MOUNTAINEERS. Beat the Cheat.

(found the above in a preview of the Kentucky-West Virginia game. Sort of nauseating, actually. http://rivals.yahoo.com/ncaa/basketball/preview?gid=201003270292)

Underdawgs

2010-03-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

Sweet 16 was really all we could ask for. West Virginia is going to be tough. It's the exact kind of team that Romar's teams generally have a problem with. Big strong weight room type guys that are all 6'5" 240 and could play the Defensive End. But then, if you're following developments, West Virginia's starting point guard broke his foot in practice. So maybe there's a chink in the armor. And, it's not like they're blowing people out.

Here's too an hour and a 1/2 of uglyball. See ya'll Thurs @ 4:30.

Louis Vuitton Trophy

2010-03-19T12:02:00.000-07:00

This is so cool. I didn't even know it was going on.

http://www.louisvuittontrophy.com/home/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_Vuitton_Trophy

They organized this because the America's Cup started to get so political and devolved into well, not really racing is it? Dumb catamarans and legal battles. This, on the other hand, is real sailboat racing. With the help of the computer graphics, even someone who doesn't know much about sailing can get into it. And if you know something about sailing, trust me, it's mind blowing. The only way they could improve on the action is to have 1-3 fleet races in addition to the match racing.

Huskies win 80-78.

2010-03-19T10:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, how many people turned the tv off?early on in the 2nd 1/2. Okay, I did. I thought it was a rerun of lack of integration and frustration from early in the season. But the Huskies proved me wrong. And, with the "12 minute to go rule" proved me right.

Here's a graph, Reader, which is worth so many words. The nadir of the Huskies' fumbling early-season Huskyness was at 13:30 at which time Marquette had a 60-45 lead. by the twelve minute mark, it had been cut to 62-52, and momentum was turning the Huskies way - even though they were down ten, they had taken Marquette's best punch and survived. The 12 minute rule is an observation on my part that whoever has momentum at the 12-minutes-to-go point of the game, usually wins.

Anyway, not complicated. Even a seven year old will start to notice a pattern - or three seven year olds. "Just like the Cal" came said the Godsil Triplets, in unison. Just when it looked like all was lost, they turned on the impenetrable wall of defense. Justin Holiday, MBA, and Overton are amazing in that regard. The great mystery of this team: Why they don't play like that all the time, and why it took so long. But that's who they are: they wait until the last possible minute and turn it on. Whether it a game, ... or the season.

Stole the above from the ESPN gamecast - link here.

Steve Kelley's write up of the game and Quincy Pondexter's winning shot here. Gosh, I've been reading that guy in the Seattle Times Sports page since I was a kid and he still had hair.

I don't have too much to add. How can I? I didn't even watch the comeback. Though I will say that Marquette has a very impressive team, and it's too bad that these teams had to meet in the first round. Overall, it was one of the better played games of the day, and on a day that truly lived up to the "Madness" label (Georgetown, WTF?) both squads played quality ball and looked like Sweet 16 teams. Here's a clip of the game winning shot from ESPN:

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=5008102

We'll see. Saturday's another day. A day on which I'm going to be even more sick of Vikings who play basketball. I think you know what I'm talking about. March Madison Avenue.

Go Zags!!!!

Coffee Break

2010-03-18T10:42:00.000-07:00

Too much sports, says The Reader. And so we take a coffee break. Let's go over to Intelligentsia on Abbot Kinney. Yes, I admit it. I've become addicted to Intelligentsia and the new, more gentrified, antiseptic Abbott Kinney. At least once a week I get two slices of pizza from Abbott's Pizza - usually a mushroom slice and something else vegetarian (of course) - and an espresso machiatto from Intelligentsia. Behavioral note as I observe myself in my coffee addiction: I'm drinking less and less milk. Or maybe the coffee is better and better. Pictured here, a double shot of the Burundi, topped with a lovely swirl of a heart. I heart Intelligentsia. It's not just the coffee that's beyond solid, either. The barristas are patient, attentive to detail, well-trained. (And so are the customers, who are willing to endure the wait for the best espresso experience in LA.) My favorite barristas at the Intelligentsia on Abbott Kinney are "Nicely" and the hispanic looking young guy with the slight build. I'll ask his name next time. He made this one, I think. The guy with the beard is quite an expert too, obviously.

I recently went to SF for a really dumb job interview - can I have my day rate back? - what a waste of time, but I did pick up a couple 1/2 pounds of coffee from Blue Bottle. I walked 3/8 of a mile in the rain to get it, too. What an Addict!!! But I will say the 30 foot ceiling" blend was quite good - maybe a little more flavorful than the Black Cat from Intelligentsia that's currently my at home espresso. The Temescal: not quite so impressive.

As I write this, two upsets in the Tourney. ODU over Notre Dame, which I called, and Robert Morris pushed Villanova to OT, which no one called. Coffee break over.

I am having great luck with the Black Cat from Intelligentsia on my home machine, an Andreja Premium.

Obama's Bracket

2010-03-17T10:16:00.000-07:00

Here's his bracket. Link at ESPN.com

I think it's pretty good. Some similarities with mine. Alas, if only Health Care were so cut and dry. It's just about as hard to get right though it seems.

Here's My Brackets. Click to enlarge.

2010-03-16T11:51:00.001-07:00

Welcome to the Big East Invitational. I think the real National Championship game may be West Virginia v Kentucky in the Elite 8. On a closer-to-home note, I think the Huskies got a tough draw. We'll see. I'm picking West VA to win it, unless that guy from Syracuse gets un-injured.

I may change my mind on the way to work.

I'm talking to myself. I'm insane.

End of an Era

2010-03-15T13:03:00.000-07:00

Chris Harvey, aka Slats of the legendary Seattle Punk rock band The Silly Killers passed away this weekend. And so did my youth, good bad and indifferent. It's actually amazing he lasted as long as he did. God bless the survivors. I raise a non-alcoholic toast and say, here's to middle age. Link to an impromptu tribute at the Stranger, which will give you an idea what a Seattle icon the guy was.

Here's a write up of the Silly Killers at Sugar Buzz Magazine.

Dawgs in Wonderland

2010-03-15T11:33:00.000-07:00

video platform
video management
video solutions
video player

I told the kids that if the Huskies got into the Pac-10 final that I would take them down to Staples Center. Ally brought her little stuffed Husky "Whisper" and there were some tug-0-wars over some purple clothing. And that was not the end of the drama by any means. What a great game. The Huskies and Cal came out on their best behavior for National TV, playing an aggressive-yet-nearly-flawless first 1/2 with something like 12 lead changes. The jitters seemed to reappear for the first few minutes of the second half with Washington missing some strong opportunities to take control of the game. Cal looked like the more mature team at this point, but the Huskies clamped down on defense and were able to make a run to go up by 9 at approximately the 12 minute mark. They looked firmly in control.

[As an aside: I have a theory that has been proven true in 99% of the cases that who ever controls the game at the 12 minute mark - who ever has momentum, not just the lead - wins the game. (By the 12 minute mark, I mean twelve minutes to go in the game.) I think it has something to do with a battle of wills. And, secondarily, strategy. The teams make adjustments at 1/2 time and they come out and take their best shot, and by 8 minutes in, each team knows inside who is in control. Try it. Keep an eye on the clock the next time you watch a college game Remember, it's not who's leading, it's who has momentum.]

But Cal came back, went on a 14-2 run or something like that, and it looked like Cal's game. But the Huskies took the punch and countered. Elston Turner scored 5 straight points; IT had a couple amazing and1 drives; Justin Holiday hit a very memorable 3 off of the most beautiful moment of passing I've seen from this team all year and they hung on for the win. An extremely gratifying end to a very up and down season and I think Husky fans everywhere are happy for Quincy Pondexter in particular. This is a very likeable team and they play hard. Not as much charm as the Nate Robinson, Will Jones, Tre Simmons, Roy, Brockman and Bobby Jones years (don't forget Appleby) have they have a spirit of their own, and a lot of upside, with Q-Pon being the only senior.

After the game, we walked over to the Original Pantry which is an LA landmark. After the blue slushies everyone was sugar-crashing pretty hard and the oldschool menu was pretty rough on Vegetarians but you know, wow, at least we can say we had the experience and the Pancakes were amazing - (yes, for dinner) - and the setup with the coleslaw was probably the best I've ever had. When we got out it was still in the 6 o'clock hour so we walked over to the new Regal Movie Theatre. Alice in Wonderland was playing at 7 and so we decided to take the kids. What a double header. Note about the theatre: we went to the Premium theatre with the huge screen. I guess because anyone can have a theatre in their home now, there's a backlash against the multiplex as we knew it in the 90's and with the 3-d and big screens they're trying to make movies a more transporting and special experience once again. Pretty cool.

Final score, Huskies in the tournament, two thumbs up on Alice in Wonderland, and, as a final note, I'll say that it felt really good to participate in the life of the city. That whole Nokia Square/Staples Center area down there is pretty cool now. Dallas was trying to do the same thing with American Airlines Center, but here in LA it's actually succeeding. You know, if I think back to when I first arrived here in LA back in the 90's, you wouldn't think of taking a family east of the 405 for an evening out, much less, downtown. That's a pretty white thing to say, but I think you know what I mean. And it's really cool to see LA building itself back up and ... "regentrification" I guess is the word, but I'd really rather not be coy and ironic about it. Silverlake and Echo Park are places people want to live now; Venice is completely habitable and Abbot Kinney is hoppin. It's a different world from when I showed up here. Downtown Long Beach was an empty crater and now it's kinda hospitable for the tourists and not too antiseptic. The Getty is of course an amazing development. Anyway, it's good to see cities once again being cities. There's so much that's negative nowadays and the worldwide social climate can be so frightening that it's nice to be able to point out a bright spot. There. I've pointed.

A piece of his no-mind

2010-03-12T13:24:00.000-08:00

on a completely different note ... http://www.easwaran.org/Content/Video/Clips/VideoRegional09.php

Barf Never Sleeps

2010-03-12T12:58:00.000-08:00