Whiskey Dreams and Drunken Drivel

sitting waiting

2012-02-15T21:32:00.000-07:00

Sitting, waiting…
watching the clock today I became painfully aware of my mortality…
sitting waiting for something to happen…
somehow each movement forward became a slipping moment.
I was missing something somewhere.

Trying to grab hold of time I wished for more…more time, not realizing the vicious circle I created.

With every tick, every tock I move forward. My life seemed, in these few moments of genuine thinking, to be slipping away, moving from me. My breath shallowed and my heart ached.

How could I stop this? how could I have more time…?

Then with a passing glance of my loves photo I realized…

it’s not more time I crave, its more moments…

like the first time we kissed,
the first time we gazed upon a painting a hundred years older than we

the first time we cried
the first time you sat across from me in that plastic chair and confessed your love

it’s not time we crave… its moments, its love, its life…
I want to grab on to mine with you by my side and live… I want to make moments…
I want to make love,
I want to laugh
and I
want to live…

take your time… turn it into moments
see the little things
the light in everything
in all of us

make a moment in your waiting
and love

an angels play ground

2012-02-13T21:18:00.000-07:00

The sun shines on the crisp clean snow, bouncing an infinite spectrum of colors, an angels play ground. A new powdered day, the air is crisp as if it might snap in any sudden movement. My breathe crystallizes on exhale and the pain of my past falls to the cold emotionless snow covered ground and is taken away in the days easy breeze. I tremble. Your snow blued eyes dance in my thoughts as I dream of holding you. Your skin is that of silk and youth, perfection dances on every minute part of your being. My hearts memory, the warmth of your lips when pressed to mine plays a melody to my soul and I walk with resolve.

The gray steely days of my past are washed in the light of your loving, gentle soul and all uncertainty is removed with your touch. The whispered words of love that dance from your lips send my soul to soar. I am free. You guide my heart to yours, we are pulled together as one and together our hearts dance as one. Forever in this grasp I want to be, forever with you I wish to be.

In my arms, you my love, my journey is complete.

With all my heart I dance with you
my love
my Juliet

our kiss

2012-02-08T23:26:00.000-07:00

the touch of your lip
pressed to mine

hand held innocence
played again
forever again

in angelic sea blued eyes
my humbled love
reflected in our kiss

our first
our kiss

taken by you
all of
my love
all of
my heart
all of
my being

the touch of your lip
pressed to mine

forever now
all of
my love
all of
my heart
all of
my being

lives on your lips
in our kiss

without you

2012-02-01T20:38:00.000-07:00

Without you I wonder

does sun break way to gray cloud
will honey taste as sweet
and will your lips miss mine
when whispered
will love mean anything

without you I wonder

will my hearts beat skip
at the sound of your name
when your taste fills my mouth from loves last kiss
will my eyes weep
blue salted tears
of you

without you I wonder

will cold hands clasp
on bent knee
wishing for one more
always one more

without you
I wonder
is there

a me

girlish smile

2012-01-26T08:58:00.000-07:00

so make with that girlish smile
and know that the clouds
were made for you to dance on
and that my love waits in the rain

lonely star

2012-01-26T08:55:00.001-07:00

a lonely star
fell for us to see

I wish on this star
forever my love

you with me

my breath

2012-01-16T23:16:00.000-07:00

I’ve fallen to you
love
my love

your warm heart grasps me
lifts me
and with every part of my being I sing a song of you
a melody of our hearts united beat

you dance in my thoughts
in my childish dreams

my finger traced dance
on my loves beloved skin
my heart turns in

my loves lips
you my love
I breathe for your kiss

just one more
my breath
for one more kiss

I’ve fallen to you
my love

Your kiss

content

2012-01-10T22:54:00.000-07:00

There is this girl you see
unlike any

she smiled at me
and in that moment
she captured my heart

she dances in my mind like a carousel rounds a carnival
forever spinning
dizzy in thoughts of her I dream

I feel my hearts beat in every touch of her hand
every brush of her hair
and every taste of her lip

the sun rises
but only so I can see clearly the love I have for her

the sun sets
only so I might dream of her again

in her hands
my heart lays
content

she is my love
my heart

my Juliet

you and me

2012-01-04T21:35:00.001-07:00

this emptiness
that was yours
that is mine
is replaced by light
this light is you
is me
it’s always been
you
it will always be
me
hold again
your hand
your heart
next to me
this light
forever in me
you
forever
your hand in
mine
this light
will forever be

only
you
only me

my Julie

2011-12-27T20:56:00.002-07:00

What would you have me say
spoke unto myself

that without her
my heart skips a beat
that without her love but a word
spoken in tongues not know to me

that a simple touch from her
my beloved
starts my heart a knew

then speak to me
give to me her words
I'll sing her song

she will dance in my heart
as long as there is a beat
and she will dwell in my love
in me
as long as there
is
a me

my beloved
my heart

my Julie

fuck you

2011-12-27T19:39:00.003-07:00

maybe you shouldn’t be left alone
maybe the walls you built make sense
maybe what you want is what you are most afraid of

fuck you

you and your inability to see beyond your selfish needs, your wants, and materialistic commercialized heart

fuck you

your glory dazed whiskey filled eyes
unable to realize loves dance at your step

give me your pain
your heart ache
your miss communicated mumblings and drunken drivel
ill spin them in to incoherent ramblings that skate on the edge of madness and art
but dance mostly in a bottle
emptied so you can’t see
can’t feel and refuse to acknowledge

love surrounds you and your nature is to run

fuck you

run, run next to your weakness
nibble on that barrel and free us from you hideous inability to recognize who you are
free me from the pain of growing
of knowing

fuck you

you’ll never know me
you’ll never know

love

fuck you

a tailspin loved tail

2011-12-24T22:10:00.000-07:00

your smile dances

every thought I have
have had and will have
begins with you
your touch

your touch but a dream
your loves smile
morning breath lives but for such a smile
how I miss your lips

you said you loved me

a tailspin loved tail

your tickled feet
your ever loved neck

with every touch
loves tickled beat

how I wish you
next to me

how I hope you
only you
know

I love you

thank you

2011-12-23T09:03:00.001-07:00

I want to thank you
thank you for coming into my life
for holding my hand

I want to thank you for that first kiss
and every kiss after

I want to thank you for your kind smile
your ever listening ear
and your gentle heart

I want to thank you for your patience
as I stumble through my fears

I want to thank you for that look you give me
the one that melts my heart and gets me through my day

I want to thank you for giving my life reason again

But most of all
I want to thank you for loving me
as much
as I love you

every magical thing not known

2011-12-19T22:07:00.000-07:00

with every sliver,
of my being
with every beat,
of my heart
with every glance,
or sight I’ve seen
and every magical thing not known…

with every breath,
I’ve ever taken
with all the tears,
that have been shed
with all the stars,
in our sky
and every new day,
hour,
moment,
of my life,

I will love you

in this moment

2011-12-19T08:17:00.001-07:00

Winter they say is coming. In this cold darkness it seems as if she might have already found her way into me. Having been pulled from your warm embrace, loneliness fills me and I steer away from your drive. Doubt fills the cracks of the weakest parts of my being. It’s not the drive; it’s all the time alone. The lines in the road hurry by, like moments in life, moving past, without so much as a thought. In this moment I realize what I have wasted. So many moments have past without loving, without trusting, without happiness, without you. I’m afraid that more than half of the lines in my life have already hurried by. With a fractured soul, pieced back together by you, by your love, I ache for our moments our time. I yearn for the moment that this road takes me back to you, where my arms around you are supposed to be. For now, I hold your angelic smile in my mind and your love in my heart and like the sunrise, it warms the cold doubt filled places of my being.

Somehow

2011-12-14T21:19:00.002-07:00

Somehow…

your hand in mine,
smaller,
softer,
makes me stronger
the little things,
the big things,
these things don’t matter

I have you,
your hand in mine,
I am stronger,

we will dance a new dance
and sing our hearts song
they might not listen
they might not understand

but our hearts beat
in this everlasting song

and together
with this new,
this everlasting
this love
this new song

in this
You will always be
in my heart
in my song…

our everlasting
love song

the swiftness of this…

2011-12-13T22:55:00.001-07:00

the swiftness of this…
our love,
my love
as if on rails
with our hearts beat
my hearts skipped beat
held next to you…
in your eyes my life unfolds
on your lips
my whispered dreams come true
my heart
held in my loves hands
this love, our love
so true

nothing more do I want
in this world

my true love
is you

we kissed

2011-12-09T22:16:00.002-07:00

Something about a kiss

the first
not an awkward moment
as if I had kissed you a thousand times

every time I see you
it’s always as if it were the first
I’m left in awe with what is your beauty

your angelic eyes see through me
how do I deserve that smile?
it melts me

my arms wrapped around you
as if I were built for you
strong but only for you

nothing comes close to you
in this embrace
my arms around you

a thousand more times
we kiss

I will always hold the first
that kiss

wish you were here

2011-12-01T22:03:00.001-07:00

The past weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions, feelings, changes. After months, even years of living in darkness and hiding, I have once again found myself and in doing so found you, my love. Just when I had given up on the idea, that this love I carried in my heart would surely die, go to waste or simply be consumed by self-pity and doubt you smiled at me. In the moment I saw your smiling eyes I fell. After holding your hand my heart raced to the beat of a song our love had not yet written but had already new the lyrics. And when I kissed you, when you kissed me, when we kissed, all the darkness in my life was lit by you. A new path was before me paved with the rocks that we pick, that pick us, the heart shaped stones that call to us when we hold hands and laugh at our silly nous. This love, new, in man’s idea of time, surely has been waiting for this moment to come into our life. With all of the trials, trails, and wayward promises, we endured our paths came together. We sparked and with this spark a fire was lit that will take Poseidon himself to extinguish. Because we will burn as one like the brightest of stars and oldest of galaxies, in my arms you will always be my light, my love. So on this cold night, when I yearn for you, and my lips call to yours, and my arms are empty, I send a whisper to the stars in hopes you hear,

I love you…

I wish you were here…

wind chimes sing

2011-11-26T00:15:00.002-07:00

trees now barren
shudder in dark
pulling life inward
waiting for some spark
wind chimes sing
a seasons end
the death of warmth
the death of light
the cold wind moves
across the night
loneliness sits
in a pale moon’s light
how I wish
for you this night
to hold you close
to keep love tight
never again alone
in these cold dark nights

immaculate place

2011-11-25T08:21:00.003-07:00

this mornings wake
surely a dream
my loves perfect body
lay next to mine
in this moment I wish
no existence of time
nothing else matters
beyond our embrace
forever my love
I wish us to be
in this immaculate place

will you see me

2011-11-22T20:28:00.003-07:00

the wind blows
I can feel your touch as it moves across me
the sun shines
paling in comparison to your smile
the bluest oceans move
yet to match the love I see in your eyes

because loves love knows
then you my sweet
my dear
you know
I am here
and only with love will I know you

do I deserve such love?
do I deserve thee?
with every part that moves through me
I wonder…

again and again
i wonder
in you
will you
see me?

unrolled sleeve

2011-11-14T20:31:00.000-07:00

when you say I love you,
it cannot be said with recklessness
it must come from that place that scares us the most
the place where you lay every part of our being
an empty field or cold dark night
an unrolled sleeve…
we shiver in the face of love
but throw our hearts to its fire

the heart has no agenda or plan
it knows only to love
and in this knowing
this being
I throw my heart to your fire
I love you

every glance

2011-11-13T21:36:00.000-07:00

I make love to you with my eyes,
with every glance
never needing a touch
a kiss
a taste
I feel your heart in my heart,
together they beat to our loves song
forever creating new verse

in your eyes I am set free,
the dark tides of the past removed
in your eyes I see only love
I see only me
and in my eyes
there is forever now
only you

love ?

2011-11-10T20:30:00.001-07:00

…when we give up all we’ve ever known
hurt, pride, arrogance, deceit…
our past

what do we have left?
compassion ,benevolence, kindness, empathy…

love?

and with what is left
what is new
what shall we do?

love?

love is what I will do
I choose love,
and love

only you…