If you can’t get to Tucson for BaconFest, there’s always Manhattan for the fifth annual Manhattan Cocktail Classic. It’s too late for tickets to the main events but there’s still time to snag tickets to the first two sessions of Mandarine Napoleon’s Double Buzz: Coffee and Cocktails as well as sessions in schnapps, mescal and lemon vodka. But what about the whisky, you cry? Well, as can be expected, all the whisky-centric events are sold out but you can try to get a sense of what you’re missing over at Bouley [in the Tribeca district] where they will be serving Japanese Suntory whisky using water shipped in from the Yamazaki River [where the distilleries are located. That’s better than both Jim Beam and nothing!

The Manhattan Cocktail Classic takes place from May 17-21, 2013 at several locations around New York City with the two main locations being the New York Public Library and the Andaz 5th Avenue Hotel. Tickets are between $25 and $395 – more information may be found at the official Manhattan Cocktail Classic website.

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Whether it’s strangling some grilled asparagus or has wrapped itself around hot dogs or scallops or embedded itself in meat loaf or brownies or simply adorned itself atop some maple bars, bacon is one of life’s greatest guilty pleasures. Yeah, sure, we know consuming pounds of it will hasten your death by 14 years. Whatever. It tastes so good! No matter where you put it…even in beer and whisky – both well-known bacon receptors. Well, almost – we are not a particular fan of bacon brownies or bacon margaritas but we won’t hold it against those who are. In fact, those who are fans of anything bacon should try to temporarily relocate themselves to Tucson, Arizona this weekend where they will be holding BaconFest 2013 – a celebration of bacon and all the places you can put it.

BaconFest 2013 will be held from noon to 4pm on May 18, 2013 in downtown metropolitan Tucson, Arizona. Tickets are $25 for adults.

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When you first saunter upon the Dry Fly Distillery collection of whiskies, there is nothing about the packaging that either oozes old school dignity nor screams brazen young whippersnapper superficial taunts. It looks rather nondescript with a rather stodgy [if you ask me] fly-fishing fly as a logo. But this mostly belies what is held within the confines of their glass coffins. Some of it is mediocre, some of it is good and some of it is very good.

In the opening scenes of everybody’s favorite movie “Star Wars”, we are met with the iconic phrase, “In a galaxy far, far away….” In an industry where most of the “name” whisky and bourbon is made in Scotland or Kentucky, the location of Dry Fly – in the somewhat remote outpost of Spokane, Washington – might as well be Tatooine or Hoth in some whisky galaxy far, far away. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t worthy of your taste buds. Dry Fly currently has four whiskies in its lineup – the Triticale rye/wheat hybrid, the Port Finish Wheat, the Washington Wheat bourbon and the Cask Strength Wheat – in other words, a good collection sure to please most aliens in the Cantina Bar.

The Triticale is essentially a rye mimic and my body chemicals have never been too fond of the rye in the first place so I held this in low regard from the outset. It was about as expected. The Triticale’s foundation grains were born in Scotland in the late 1800’s, so the lineage is good but it is probably an acquired taste and if you have acquired a taste for the rye then you will probably find the hook-up of the wheat and rye grains to be pleasant enough for your liking. The taste does not seem obnoxious enough to completely dissuade the rye aficionado from at least trying it again…and again…and perhaps again.

The Port Finish Wheat, on the other hand, has a distinct fruity taste with a smooth texture that goes down the gullet like a seductive Salma Hayek [if Salma is one of your ideas of seduction, if not, fill in with your idea of seductress]. The reason is obvious – its former home was in the barrels used to house the Huckleberry Port of the Townshend Winery on Washington’s west coast.

The Washington Wheat bourbon comes in much stronger – at 101 proof – and you can feel that heavy-handedness right away. It’s not the same fire-and-brimstone as you will get in other bourbons of similar proof, but there’s not much subtlety to this one and if that’s your bag, then you will probably appreciate the one-two punch you will be receiving from your first two sips of the Washington Wheat. After that, it settles down a bit and everybody is invited to the party one way or another.

The Cask Strength carries the most heat. At 120 proof, you might be expecting even more feistiness than the Washington Wheat, but the Cask Strength actually comes in to your mouth much smoother than the Washington Wheat and stays that way throughout the controlled laboratory experiment you may call your tasting process. The Cask Strength is, for our money, the best of the lot.

Dry Fly’s specialties are obviously wheat-based whiskies – no surprise coming from the region of some of the best wheat in the land – and they were the first distillery to produce a 100% wheat whiskey in the good old US of A, so you know what you are getting yourself into when you are trying any Dry Fly brand. But, depending on your personal taste buds, of course, we suggest going with the Port Finish and Cask Strength as your best options from this group.

Color – All golden/amber brown – good wheat colors

Nose – Fruity for Port Finish

Taste – Fruity for Port Finish, Tangy for Washington Wheat, Buttery for Cask Strength

Alcohol – 86 proof [43%] for Port Finish; 88 proof [44%] for Triticale; 101 proof [50.5%] for Washington Wheat and 120 proof [60%] for Cask Strength

Price – $30-50

WC Rating – 5.9 [Triticale], 6.3 [Washington Wheat], 7.1 [Port Finish], 8.4 [Cask Strength]

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Baz Luhrmann’s rendition of the F. Scott Fitzgerald classic,“The Great Gatsby”, is loud [thanks to a Jay-Z soundtrack] and ostentatious – which may or may not be what Fitzgerald had in mind – Luhrmann tends to make his own showy look-at-me interpretations of classics. But Macallen jumps on the Gatsby bandwagon along with UK-based retailer, Harrods as the posh department store has set up a Great Gatsby-themed cocktail bar from May 9-20 in its store and features the fine single malt Scotch whisky in its Blood and Sand cocktail [among others] – perfect for drinking with any random Daisies, but watch out for any fertile Myrtles .

“The Great Gatsby” releases on May 10, 2013.

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Some of you may have more pleasant memories than this, but when we catch a glimpse of a bottle of Wild Turkey, it sends me either into a catatonic trance with murmurs of “the horror, the horror” a la one of Marlon Brando’s best scenes from “Apocalypse Now” or fits of collegiate convulsions in a more direct re-enactment of the last time I had Wild Turkey – in college. So it’s a very good thing that even though everybody knows it belongs to Wild Turkey, it’s best that this particular branch of the bourbon tree at Wild Turkey World Domination HQ in Kentucky is disguised as Russell’s Reserve. At least it sounds much more personable and less likely to rip your face off after one drink.

There are two Russell’s Reserve bourbons I tried – a sort of tag-team triple proof twins – the 190-proof 10-Year and the 110-proof Single Barrel. Normally, there is an expectation of a butt-kicking that is about to happen whenever the proof numbers get into the Bugatti range [which I think scientists have determined to be 175 and upward], but the Russell’s Reserve 10-Year, which was the first bourbon of the two tasted, was actually a pleasant surprise. It quite graciously left the roof of my mouth still firmly attached and did no harm to any part of the esophagus – well, at first, anyway. The initial tastings of the Russell’s Reserve 10-Year went down quite smooth – one might even be so bold as to say creamy or syrupy. Okay, maybe that is the bourbon talking – or the Wild Turkey marketing team disguised as the bourbon and then taking over my soul and talking – but it is categorically the truth of the matter. There was a distinct nutty and creamy element that reminded me of one of those nut creams you get in the Walt Whitman chocolate samplers by mistake. It’s not what you expected, but it’s still pretty good. That being said, after the second and third sip, the beast was awakened and there were some definitely detectable battles going on in the windpipe between the forces of fire and not-fire. Still, all-in-all, I would recommend giving a shot [pun fully intended] to Russell’s Reserve 10-Year no matter what happened to you during college.

It’s Kentucky Derby time this weekend and you are going to need a suitable bourbon to spice up your mint juleps – if you’re going to have a proper Kentucky Derby party anyway. That bourbon probably should not be Russell’s Reserve Single Barrel as the 110-proof brethren of the 10-Year is not as smooth. In fact, the Single Barrel is more akin to the Wild Turkey I remember from college and probably more like the box that houses the chocolates than anything inside of it. The taste was fiery from the get-go, somewhat prickly even, and certainly capable of clearing out your nasal cavity of any obstructions or even removing some of your toothy cavities as well. Although I feel the best use of the Single Barrel is to be left by the side of the road and used for fire ant exterminations, I can detect noticeable moonshine elements to it that would appeal to a certain hillbilly demographic and therefore – there is a market for this stuff in the finest strip clubs where it can be passed off for elite bourbon to a clientele that will readily accept that pretense.

So use Russell’s Reserve 10-Year for your Kentucky Derby mint julep party while you’re debating whether to go with Orb or Fear The Kitten – because, really, how many titles can Rick Pitino win this year?

Color – Amber for both

Nose – Musky and aromatic for 10-Year, fiery and dangerous for Single Barrel

Taste – Nutty and creamy for 10-Year, lighter or embalming fluid for Single Barrel

Alcohol – 190 proof [90%] for 10-Year, 110 proof [55%] for Single Barrel

Price – $30 for 10-Year, $45-50 for Single Barrel

WC Rating – 7.5 for 10-Year, 3.7 for Single Barrel

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Look, we may very well not know a fancy schmancy bourbon if it smacked us in the face and called us Nancy but we do happen to know what a whiff of battery acid smells like and it was eerily similar to EWSB 2002. No, of course not, we joke. Heaven Hill Distilleries would never get away with, um, we mean sell, battery acid as bourbon. So let’s call EWSB 2002 an inspired effort from the wrong side of the rickhouse because this batch in the bottle we sampled was definitely not like the others of its family which we have seen on the receiving end of numerous butt-kissing, glorious reviews. This one was the obvious black sheep of the EWSB family. It was the uncle who went for all the get-rich-quick schemes and made all the wrong decisions in life and now drives a 1981 brown Datsun station wagon with kitty litter in the back and one working windshield wiper.

Our black sheep EWSB2002 began with an aroma of anger but we weren’t certain we could place the source of the anger nor were we sure what it was angry about – all we knew is that our nasal cavity was absorbing the brunt of the bluster. Once the ruckus was somewhat subdued, the tasting began and it became clear that a wood of some sort was at fault. The first thought was to immediately blame an oak, but the culprit could have been disguised as an oak to pull the hounds off its trail, so we’re not throwing a bad oak under the bus until we see the DNA evidence.

Nevertheless, based on the reviews we have seen of other upstanding EWSB 2002 pillars of the community, we are going to assume something went wrong – horribly wrong – with our uncle, er, cask and suggest that you give EWSB 2002 a second chance. It doesn’t cost too much and if lightning strikes twice, there is probably most certainly a black sheep uncle in your family who would love to receive a bottle of slightly used bourbon for his birthday.

Color – Honey brown

Nose – Very angry pomegranate

Taste – Like a piece of rain-soaked wood after an intense, sweaty aerobic workout

Alcohol – 86.6 proof [43.3%]

Price – $25

WC Rating – 5.7

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Although there is nothing inherently wrong with the Western Spirits company being based in Wyoming and touting a Kentucky bourbon that has been “patiently aging for years in Kentucky’s finest charred white oak barrels” – that’s okay, not everybody can have their distillery based in the state known for some of the world’s best bourbon – it still produces a sliver of doubt about not only the authenticity of the bourbon’s Kentucky royalty lineage but also the need to point that out. Most bourbons in Kentucky’s royal lineup don’t need to point out their Kentuckiness, almost everybody knows who they are. So Lexington is probably not going to be for your bourbon fanboy elder statesmen, it’s going to be more for your average Joe and Average Joe’s cousin [who might find more appeal in their blackberry, cinnamon and peach-flavored whiskies under the Bird Dog brand].

Again, this is not much of a problem, really, as they have realized their market, name-dropped Kentucky and are situated at a reasonable price point for most Average Joes seeking a decent satisfaction of their bourbon fixation. The color is pleasant, the nose is not overwhelming and the taste reminded us of a woody, spicy twig we might find out in the backyard – overall, not knocking you out of your socks but not glaringly offensive to your taste buds either. If this were porridge in the Goldilocks tale, it would be the porridge that was “just right” but we’d still like to try some of Dad’s porridge when it cooled down.

So go ahead and purchase a bottle of Lexington and see what you think. It will probably not do much to challenge your established favorites and – we’re wildly speculating here – its taste probably won’t instill a surge of anger or nausea. It’s just good enough, maybe, to justify the cost to your wallet but you can find better and, hey, maybe Cousin Andy will like it.

Color – Golden brown

Nose – Spicy

Taste – Woody [not the car]

Alcohol – 86 proof [43%]

Price – $30

WC Rating – 6.1

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The color is really a hue of brown, like nearly every other bourbon and its grandpa and his crazy, flat-footin’ brother. Yes, yes, I’ve heard all the dainty marketing synonyms for the color of bourbon – amber, blonde, caramel, dusty, russet, tan, whatever – the liquid is essentially a derivation of brown, let’s move on to the more important elements like, will it toy playfully with my taste buds before singing off my nostril follicles in a burst of S&M energy? Perhaps, Mr. Floyd, yes, perhaps [he says rubbing his chin thoughtfully in that mad scientist kind of way].

Even though it’s only 91.2 proof – and I say only with the full understanding of most males that it will take triple digits of proof to raise our eyebrows a quarter inch – Bulleit 10 comes raging out of the bottle like a scorned female ready to inflict some heavy emotional damage upon the first male she sees. In other words, the first whiffage of Bulleit 10 is not raw, intense or any other superficial word seeking to cover up its bad intentions – it’s alcohol, it’s coming to get you and it knows where you live.

So damage control is probably your first thought after two sips of Bulleit 10, but suddenly things begin “smoothening” [a word I invented after the second sip] out by the third sip and while it will likely never be mistaken for a sultry temptress, the Bulleit 10 did, after a few gentle caresses and whisperings of sweet nothings to the glass, produce hints of chocolate and lava as opposed to the pure magma of the first two sips.

Seeing this a good sign of progress, I decided a series of unorthodox tests were in order – how would Bulleit 10 fare when imbibed while wearing a hockey glove, hockey helmet and, the toughest of them all – a glove and helmet? The answers were alarmingly refreshing. The glove test was smooth – pure butter – though this was obviously helped by the pristine nature of a new glove and absence of noxious old hockey glove gasses. The helmet-only test was similarly startling as the Bulleit 10 deftly made it past the cage and into the mouth with virtually no spillage. He shoots, he scores! The remaining glove-and-helmet test was not the messy disaster you are probably thinking it was. In fact, again, there was only minimal spillage and nearly all the Bulleit 10 made it past the cage and into the mouth and you cannot blame the bourbon for the spillage.

In the end, Bulleit 10 began with an aggressive approach, threatening to rip your head off, but inevitably “smoothened” out somewhat so that you could at least talk sensibly to it, calm it down and explain where things went wrong and how they might be open to improvement in the future.

Color – Brown, let’s not kid ourselves…

Nose – Fire and brimstone in the first 30 seconds, only brimstone after a minute.

Taste – Fiery magma out of the chute…but “smoothening” out to lava and chocolate later

Alcohol – 91.2 proof [45.6%]

Price – $45 to $50 [Does not compare favorably with our good friend Woodford Reserve, Double Oaked, which is approximately the same price and much smoother]

WC Rating – 6.9

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If you fancy yourself to be a stunt-watching reality whore, proceed directly to Label 5’s Facebook page for the web series beginning on April 18, 2013.

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If somebody told you that you could go to an all-you-can-eat BBQ, smoke four Rocky Patel cigars and wash it down with all the Glenlivet, Jameson and Chivas Regal whiskey samples you want, what are the odds you would claim that “somebody” was crazy? Well, consider WhiskeyCritic as your new crazy best friend because we are that somebody telling you about “Smoke” – the BBQ/Cigar/Whiskey fest that will be occurring next month featuring that BBQ, those Patel cigars and those whiskey brands we mentioned earlier. The only catch? It probably helps immensely if you live within stumbling distance of Studio Square in Long Island City, New York. What? You knew there had to be a catch!

Smoke will be held from 1-5pm on May 18, 2013 at Studio Square [33-35 36th Street] in Long Island City [Queens] in New York City. Tickets range from $89-99 per person and may be purchased online.

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