White Hot Magik

Riding Rollercoasters of Emotion

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 19:22:00 +0000

This past few weeks have been really emotional, my youngest Max was diagnoised with ADD and ODD and it hit me hard. I found the hurt surprising since I was 99% sure he would have it. I guess it is never easy to hear your child is different, and quite frankly with ADD and ODD I am not sure how you escape feeling like it is your fault and that you are a bad parent. I know we aren't horrible but I also know all our shortcomings. He was having a hard day a few days before that and he said to me he was an accident, that God made him that way on accident. I looked at him and asked him if he knew Jeremiah 29:11 and told him what it said. "For I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and not evil, to give you a future and a hope." (ESV) I had to remind myself that as well.

However I won't lie that other events of the week make it so hard to understand that verse as well. One of my friends lost her battle with breast cancer and left behind an eight year old and a seven year old. I feel so bad about it for a thousand reasons but the one that was really keeping me up was that I never shared the Gospel with her. I hadn't really kept up with her the last two years we moved and since this was our old party crowd when we lived in Las Cruces, we keep in touch but there is a distance. We are mindful that to cut them off, because we do love them and would love for nothing more than for them to have what we have. They know about our conversion or recommitment to God, but it is not the same as a meaningful conversation about it. I pray for her family and friends in this time, I cannot imagine going through it at all, but shudder to think the hole it would leave me in without God. As a person of faith, people ask you, how could this be God's plan? How could the God from Jeremiah?

I don't have all the answers in the least. I do know that sin was unleashed in this world and death is a consequence. Please DO NOT get me wrong, because Mary no more deserved to die than I. In fact I prayed God take me and save her, I know you! Evil is alive and present in this world and that includes disease. Why Mary died is beyond me and will remain so until I meet my maker. I do know God cares and am reminded of John 11:35, "Jesus wept" when learning Lazarus died. I mean he is God and he knew it would happen, and he knew he would raise him and yet he wept. He understands our pain.

We have been singing out our Easter Cantata at church and Saturday I bawled through the second half of dress rehearsal thinking of these things. He willingly gave himself up for us and died to pay the debt of our sins. Not just the good people, not just the ones who go to church, he died for all of us, including you. In fact you rarely find him hanging out with these people in teh bible, instead he dined with tax collectors and other unclean people. I will didn't take the chance to talk to Mary and find out what she believed, and I will always regret it. I want all my friends in real life, or in this blogging realm to know I care and don't want you know the love of God. I promise it is life changing and 100% worth it.

Rest in Peace Mary, I loved you and hope to see you again!

What's up Blogging World?

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 00:08:00 +0000

Long time no post. I doubt any one out there will even read this, but I keep thinking I need to get back to blogging. I wake up and write posts in my head.

Life is busier than ever and while I hoped by now I would have an immaculate house and everything in order, my life is still messy. As I recall I told myself to quit blogging and get my house clean and well you see how long I have been gone.

We are doing well out here in the boondocks,.We survived the big freeze this winter, almost no precipitation, which made the big freeze worse for all the plants down here. I had a design customer plant a bunch of palms, her idea, we got ones that would normally be hardy here but when you get a 100 year freeze, what can you do? Lots of big established plants were killed.

Go to go visit the sister and family in California visiting the awesome (not Sandy Lamo) San Diego Zoo and my all time favorite, Legoland. Still think I need a job taking care of plants at one of those places.

Max has survived 3/4 of Kindergarten and while there have been many bad days, I am thankful he has such a loving supportive teacher and staff at the school. We broke down and are having him evaluated for ADD etc and going to start the Feingold diet to see if that helps too.

Z is a second grader as tall as my shoulder and I can't help but wonder where my 4 lb 15 ounce baby went. Doing well despite is dorky mother.

Hubby loves his new job at the High School despite being the Assistant Choir Director. He was a Band Director and you know he always gave me a hard time about Choir, so of course I love it. He also teaches technical theater, or as I call it, the manly part of Drama. Not that drama is not manly, I probably just offended someone.

My business isn't a huge success yet, but it brings us in extra dough and gives me a flexible schedule and I am learning so in my book it is a success.

Looking forward to roaming around and see what all you are up too. I have to admit the only blogs I have kept up with are ones that post links on FB or Twitter.

GOAL!

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 21:14:00 +0000

We have been on a journey the last few years. There are times I look back and can only marvel. Perhaps I wax on too much about it, but I still can't believe where we are compared to three years ago. Three years ago we were on the brink of divorce and we moved back to my hometown. I have to admit that part of my thought well if this scheme doesn't work oh well, at least I will be near my family. The fact that things keep getting better just blows me away.

As I mentioned in the last post, this summer was a challenge, some bad things happened. However we got through them and it has helped us to refocus. The hubs and I have been and have been working on a bible study with one of our pastors. We get homework and it has been a progression of steps. Most recent was goal setting. I laughed because I have often said this was one of our biggest problems. We just kinda floated along until everything fell apart and then tried desperately to put it all back together and we couldn't it. (At least not by ourselves.)

Sometimes it means making unconventional calls. Like me moving away from a going nowhere temp job to my own business in this economy. Long term it will pay off, short term it is hard. I miss the security of a weekly paycheck, although I don't miss the cubicle. Love picking my kids up from school and not fretting about taking the needed time off to take care of them. I see a difference in our family.

One of the jobs I picked up was maintaining the soccer fields for our local youth league for the fall. It entailed mowing and striping the fields each week. The first time we striped we took string and strung out the lines for the fields painted on those, after that as long as I could see the old stripe, I could just go over the old one. Seemed simple enough but I found it really hard to keep my lines perfectly straight. I would think I did a great job and then turn around and see where I had a little zig or how I gradually pulled one way or another. It was really frustrating.

One day I had some help from one of the dads as we were trying to string out a field to paint it. He just eyeballed the lines with stringing it and I swear his lines were straighter than mine. I would get really aggravated at myself. By the last week I had figured a few things out and was painting decent lines for the most part. The trick for me was to keep my eye on the end of the line and to occasionally glance at my current location but mostly to keep my eye on the end goal. Also I had to keep walking with my feet side by side at a natural pace, instead of putting one in front of the other.

Maybe it was just all the time spend out there by myself but I couldn't help thinking this was such a perfect analogy of what we are doing in life. On our goal list is budgeting, studying, prayer, eating dinner together, practicing kindness, consulting the others opinions, working together toward the same goal, holding each other accountable. We often fall short and get a few wobbles in our lines and only seem to keep it perfect for a short while, but then we sight up our end goal and keep going.

Not perfect, I can see where I corrected from a mistake the week before, but I am okay with it.

Do you and your spouse have clear family goals?

Bring the Rain, it is Monsoon season after all...

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 05:23:00 +0000

This summer has really been a roller coaster kind of summer, fast and tons of ups and downs and hard turns. Today I realized I haven't even taken the boys swimming once. Seems completely wrong.

If you are on FB or Twitter with me you may have noticed all the "downs". My mom had to have revision surgery on her knee replacement, my dad has been in the hospital twice with a cellulitis infection in his leg. Jobs haven't worked out the way we hoped and money has been really tight. It just seems to keep coming, yesterday my five year old son and niece ate some toxic seeds from a plant, and while not life threatening he threw up for a solid 24 hours.Somewhere the middle of those events somewhere, an event happened that made me question close relationships, careers and even my faith for a second.

There have been highs too. My mom's recovery has not been as bad as they thought it would be. The tests they ran for my dad's infection revealed some possible heart issues that his other doctor has overlooked. Third Day came to our little burg and my husband was able to temporarily manage the venue and consequently has signed a teaching contract for the fall to manage the building, teach technical theater, help with the choir. I have been praying for a long time if he was ready to go back to education that the right opportunity presented itself.

It is interesting to me how in the midst of all this stress of lows and highs, how I have managed to sway a bit left and right but mostly have stayed tethered to my center, my faith. I used to think that somehow I would know God when I had it all together, but I realize how well I know God when it is exactly the opposite. I admit a couple of weeks ago, when I thought perhaps someone very precious to me was lost, I was angry for a split second. Haven't I been faithful? I know I am not perfect but really why? Of course the long and short is that I am no better than anyone else and bad things are going to happen to me no matter how "good" I try to be. Free will means anyone, including me, can make the wrong choices and hurt someone else.

I am thankful that no matter what this ride of life throws at me, my heavenly father can handle it. I just need to rest secure in his hands. And I did, I didn't fall apart, I sought advice, I made the decisions I felt led to make and don't have any regrets. That my friends feels like progress, no matter how bumpy the ride was. I am very blessed to have such a wonderful support network.

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)

I think Bring The Rain from the Band MercyMe sums it up pretty well.

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

and if you ever get a chance to check out one of their shows you should, they rock the house!

Another way to catch up on my reading....

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 04:15:00 +0000

My reading for pleasure time seems to have slowed down to a dribble the last few months. Thankfully 21st century technology has come to my rescue. We can listen to mp3 players at work and I have found podcasts and audio books. I used to be anti audio books since I love to read, but now I love this media. I was very excited to hear an ad on our radio station touting that our local library now is providing audiobooks through netlibrary.org. I recently listened to a five book series by Lynn Austin called Chronicles of the King. Loved them! I even looked forward to doing dishes and laundry, because I would let myself listen while doing the chores.

Next up I have list of classic titles all mentioned in the movie League of Extraordinary Gentleman, I just downloaded Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde tonight. I also have a list of nonfiction books I would like to listen too and will have to wait until I can afford to buy them since they aren't available from the library. While I can devour a fiction book pretty quickly by reading, I don't seem to plow right through nonfiction and think I would get more "read" by listening.

I also am digging listening to podcasts. My favorites being, A Prairie Home Companion, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, Dave Ramsey, This American Life, Intentional Living with Dr. Carlson, Family Life Today and the Passion Podcast with Louie Giglio. I pick all of these up through iTunes. There is a downside though, don't listen to much funny stuff like Wait Wait while at work, your coworkers will start to wonder about the girl who laughs to herself too much.

I also of course dig getting some new music. My most recent favorites are Travis Cottrell's Run to the Cross and Jesus Saves both of which are live recordings. We are working that music up for our Church Choir. My biggest problem with listening to that is not singing along. I am sure my cubicle cell mates want to hear my alto part all by itself. Even though they aren't all one note like the alto parts of old, it might not increase my popularity rating at work. Shhh, there goes the wierd girl who sings harmony to herself....

So what are you listening to?

Happy 2010

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 15:38:00 +0000

Snow!

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 05:10:00 +0000

The week before last we got to wake up to a rare treat in Southern NM. Snow! I snuck out of the house about six am to go see what the wonderland looked like before everyone else was up. I love the hush of a snowy morning!

I love how it changes the look of everything, including my Agave.

The bloom stalk formed such a gorgeous silhouette against the sky.
Agave neomexicana

Even the old pump jack and barn somehow look "nice" with frosting on it.

The Babies...

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 14:32:00 +0000

We had a very productive Thanksgiving at my mother in laws. It was a quick trip but I think we helped her out with some work she needed done and she fed us well. What a deal!

We also met and brought home a new family member.

Okay neither one of these two is new, but while I had the camera out this morning I snapped pics of them both. Max with our German Shepard Mutt Rigby. We found her about this time last year.

This is our new baby boy with our old baby boy. The white and black one is Floyd and the spiky haired one is Zach.

The secret to 61 years of marriage...

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:51:00 +0000

This weekend we had our annual family reunion for my grandmothers side of the family. One of her sisters was celebrating 60 years of marriage. Which prompted my mother to tell about the lady she met at the beauty shop the other day.

As her nails were being finished up, the next client came in and when Lila, the beautician, asked how she was, Mrs. X commented that she was wonderful. She bubbled that day before had been her 61st wedding anniversary. My mother, had to ask the lady, what the secret of 61 years of marriage was. Matter of factly Mrs. X explained she and her husband were very compatible, got married young and still had sex three times a week. In fact for an 81 year old, he was still quite good she told them. Mrs. X attributed his virility to her husbands Irish and Italian heritage, although she thought it must be the Italian side that kept him so strong.

She went on to tell about how her husband had gently woken her up that very morning, "But I want to sleep!" she said. "But I have something to show you!" he said. "But last night was our night," she sighed. "Are you kidding? I am not Superman!"

Gotta love those old folks, they are too funny. (Although none of my grandmothers sisters shared any of those kind of stories.)

Sunrise Sunset

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 01:16:00 +0000

Sunrise over NM

Life is running very fast these days...

But every once in a while I can slow down and find the camera....

and enjoy the beauty of God's creation....

Sunset over NM

Mine Tailings

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 13:04:00 +0000

We just returned from our first trip of the summer. We jumped in the truck and drove to my Mother-in-laws house. She lives in Silver City which is in the Gila Mountains. Like a lot of towns in NM it has old west history, beautiful scenery and more than it's share of California transplants who are gussying the town up. We didn't have time go and shop the historic downtown district this trip, which is full of art shops and funky eateries.

My MIL house is tucked away near a very small town called Pinos Altos in a juniper forest. I was commenting how on our quick trips over the last several years we hadn't really explored the local sites or taken the boys to any of them. They are getting to the age where we can take them to some of the local sites like the Gila Cliff Dwelling or my favorite the Catwalk. This trip was to help her with a project so we didnt' have much extra time. However on a trip out to see my husbands sister, we did stop and look at the Santa Rita Copper Mine in the Mimbres Valley. It is sparsely populated and on the drive out you see very little except the occasional house or small country bar. I find a certain beauty in the contrast of the dark green junipers and the dry yellow grass underneath. The monsoon season has started but they grass hasn't greened up yet here. While I am as anxious as anyone to see the hills green, I do find a beauty in the way they look now. Of course, I didn't think to grab my camera as we jetted out the door, but I had my phone with me and tried to snap a few pics of how the countryside looked to me.

We did stop at the Copper Mines viewing area to show the boys the open pit mine. It is one of those sites that is interesting and disturbing, beautiful and ugly all the same time. I recall my dad taking us to see it when I was a young girl. There was no activity on this day at all down in the mine. As we took in the scene, and read the informatinal signs I was telling the boys what I remember most about what I saw as a kid with all the dump trucks driving down in that mine that looked so small but they had a tire from one of the trucks in the viewing area. My 6'4" dad barely came up to the middle of the tire. Unfortantely the tire was gone but there were pictures of men standing next to one.

It was late afternoon and while we looked a mine employee showed up to shut the gate, he asked if we had any questions. I mentioned the tire I remembered as a kid and he was telling us that those tires currently cost $22,000 a piece and each truck has 6. They look like a typical dump truck in a picture but are 20' wide and 40' long.

I asked if the mine was still operational and he said no, that they might start up again depending on copper prices and the economy. He also elaborated that the mine was a very lonely place of late, there were still a few employees around in the offices and a couple of drivers to keep the mind from flooding during monsoons and guards. He said he had been a shift surpervisor and they used to employee over 900 people but now it was down around 30.

Overall we had a nice trip despite not being able to finish the project we started due to rain on Saturday. Hopefully we will make it back later in the summer and take in some more sights and I'll get the camera out the door with me next time for more pictures.

Taking Care of the Creepy Crawlies...

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 20:18:00 +0000

Fair warning if you hate spiders, in particular large hairy ones stay away from today's post. I repeat don't look at the following videos.

We have a fair number of tarantulas around here in the summer. I caught a video with my camera phone the other day while the kids were riding bikes. Just in case you are freaking out about my kids riding near tarantulas, they really aren't dangerous and don't want anything to do with you. Even at fairly close range (I had to get close with my phone) it took no notice of us.

As you may recall last fall I posted a picture or two of my lovely friends the tarantula hawks who are in abundance again this year.

In fact I thought that poor tarantula is doomed hanging out here the open because just that morning I had tried to photograph an actual tarantula hawk dragging off a tarantula in my garden. I was so excited since I knew what they did but had not got to actually witness any of the process. Alas my pictures did not come out so I was very excited when my husband called me out back to see another one last night.

In both cases it was apparent the tarantula was paralyzed and one almost feels bad knowing it's fate as a live feeding chamber for the tarantula hawks young. You can read all the gory details on DesertUSA if you want. As I finished filming this my dog came over and decided to stick her nose in the hawks business and she got upset and charged us. I hear the sting is painful, although not poisonous, so we backed up quickly.

I love insects they are so interesting!

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Fri, 15 May 2009 14:33:00 +0000

Turf Dad who reformed his ways and refused to tag anyone with this meme since the swine flu is going around. Me, I already have the flu, although the doc says not the pig kind. Even still I am virtually on house arrest and no one wants to be around me. So I have taken a lot of stupid quizzes on FB this week. I thought I would go ahead steal this meme for myself since I was racking my brain to find something to post.

1. Who is the hottest movie star? Coincidentally this question would coincide with a quiz I took on FB this week, and luckily I had the opportunity to pick five because just one, that is hard for me...

If you had form a team to save the world who would be in it? by Nora

Aragorn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Maximus Decimus Meridius , Wolverine and Leonidas ¡Esto es Venezuela! Tomaaaaaa!.

2. Apart from your house and your car, what’s the most expensive item you’ve ever bought? Probably our TV, we got a new one this week with our tax return and quite frankly the sticker shock for even a middle of the road flat screen is still killing me. It is nice to view TV without the lines and and fuzz though.

3. What’s your most treasured memory? Again, a hard quiz to pick just one. These little babes have been on my mind a lot lately. Zach at a few months and Max right after he was born.

4. What was the best gift you ever received as a child? A favorite family story is how one year at Christmas I really wanted a Crayola caddy. I asked my Nanny (grandma) to get it for me and she had presents wrapped under the tree I shook them and knew one was my crayola caddy, then bragged about it. Christmas morning came and I opened my presents and there was no caddy. She had hid it since I was being such a brat, she did give it to me later.

5. What’s the biggest mistake you’ve made? Again only one??? Usually about August I ask why I agreed to let my husband move us away from Ruidoso, a cool little mountain town.

6. 4 words to describe yourself. Goofy, Weird, Kooky and Offbeat. (in a good way I hope)

7. What was your highlight or lowlight of 2008? Highlight was watching my family grow and heal. I often stop and think what life was like a mere two years ago and marvel that we made it through. Lowlight, well nothing seems that low now.

8. Favorite film? Ohh again hard to choose. One of my all time favorites is So I Married an Axe Murderer. I quote it often.

9. Tell me one thing I don’t know about you. Is there something someone doesn't know? As I kid I was obessed with rodeo clowns and I ran around town in my cut offs with bandandas tied to the belt loops. I didn't wear clown make up though. Unfortunately I think I was in fourth grade during this phase which I find disturbing now.

10. If you were a comic book/strip or cartoon character, who would you be? I didn't really read comics as a kid. Unless you count Archie. I dig Hawk Girl though.

Cinco de Mayo

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Sat, 09 May 2009 21:35:00 +0000

no, nO,NO!

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 04:44:00 +0000

Lately I have cme to a conclusion, I have a problem and the problem is saying No. I have mastered telling my kids no, however when it comes to adults I am not doing so well.

What that really means is that between my volunteer obligations, picking up new ones because I can't say no, baseball practice and a new job. I just had to let blogging go by the wayside this last month.

Yeah I said a new job. Again with the no thing though, someone asked if I would be interested in a temporary job or if a knew someone who would and I said sure I would do it. The timing is great I should be done in May or June. So I am working on filing for a large petroleum company. In general it is easy, I get to jam to my music all day through my mp3 player and the extra income will come in handy in the months to come. Plus I have my foot in the door if I want to continue working there, assuming they have any jobs. (Although, some of the companies in the area have been doing cut backs or laying off so I am not holding my breath.)

Bad part is I am stuck in a cubicle all day, and actually found myself muttering the other day when I couldn't listen to may favorite internet radio station show, because they blocked the url. I worry I may turn into that guy from Office Space, you know the one muttering about his stapler. Thankfully I have a top of the line Swingline on my desk. Although I am on my third cubicle so far.

Plus the added bonus, I get to run into all kinds of people from back in the day, including one of my best friends from grade school. And I have tons of dirt on my supervisor, I have known her forever our moms are best friends, so you know I have a free reign.

You feeling lucky? Are you?

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 03:13:00 +0000

Luck is in the air as we shake off winter and celebrate the beginning of spring round here. An unexpected but welcome offer came my way this week. Max is turning four and I hope to get his birthday party pics up soon, we had it a week early. We head of for spring break in a couple of days, a quick stop at the Mother in laws mountain abode and then the kids and I will pile in with my parental units and nephew and go pay a visit to my sister in California with a stop at Legoland.

I even have high hopes of winning a contest or two in the near future. Seriously my NCAA brackets rock, or should I say rawk, they are that good. I have them entered in no less than three places. If you want to enter our bracket on FB, just follow the link.

Seems some other bloggers are feeling the need to give away too. For instance Mocha Momma is giving away a fabulous prize if you leave your dumbest stunt in the comments. Watch out for turfdad's comment, just be glad you didn't see the orginal post on that one. I nearly had to gouge my eyes out, good thing I was wearing PPE. ; )

Wifey is also giving away some very pretty souvenirs from her cruise to the Meditteran which she got to take to for the travel channel. If she weren't so dad gum likeable I might just be jealous of her. I think she should give job advice as well, really how does one get paid for that. Don't worry I don't think it will change her since she is a former star of TLC's A Wedding Story.

Have fun folks!

It's tough being a...

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 16:30:00 +0000

At church we are doing a Beth Moore Study on the book of Esther. I love Beth Moore studies, because I learn so much and she is so dad gum engaging. (Yes, I realize I just used dad gum in a sentence.) I remember the first time I was going to watch the video that went with it and I took one look at her and thought she would be stuck up church lady type. (I don't know why, maybe I was in a bad mood.) However I was immediately engaged by her down to earth style and her enthusiasm. One of my favorite parts of this series so far is that every week she asks a you to fill in the blanks of this sentence.

It is tough being a woman when ______.
or
It is tough being a woman in a world where _______.

She then reads some responses during the video portion. Some are funny some and some make you cry.

I thought this would be a fun exercise for us. So my question today is how would you fill in that blank? Men, drop the Whoa part of women okay? I throw my answer in the comments, but please post your answer and then look at the other comments.

It's only logical

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 02:47:00 +0000

Max is almost completely out of all toddler like activities these days. He is potty trained, but not accident free. He is mostly reasonable, but still can throw a wallop of a fit, albeit less frequently. Suddenly he protects his two year old little cousin rather than fight with her. Next month my baby will be four, and I love how our conversations go these days, even though sometimes I don't come out on top.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Me to Max: Max can you hold the dustpan for Nonnie like you do for mommy?

Max: No, I only do that for my mommy.

Me: Max, remember Nonnie is my mommy, so it is okay, almost just like doing it for your mommy.

Max: You do it for her then, she's your mommy.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

I took him clothes shopping with me the other night. Without big brother to wrestle with, he was quite helpful and sat nicely on the bench in the changing room while I tried a few clothes on. First outfit a pant suit, he made sure I was putting it on correctly, Does that shirt get tucked in mom? When I explained it stayed out, he exclaimed, It is beautiful mommy! After trying on a dress, he proudly said Mom that looks like a wedding dress, you are pretty. But the winner, was when I tried on a sparkly red and black shirt and he yelled excitedly Mommy you look like a rock star! I bought the shirt and wore it to the Symphony the next night, and every time someone complimented it, I had to tell them about my personal shopper.

Hope you had a Bubbly Valentines Day!

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 20:58:00 +0000

On Friday a lovely package came in the mail for me thanks to a Valentine Gift Exchange sponsored by Becca's Blog from the Left Coast.

My gift exchange partner is a blogger previously unknown to me The Gaelic Wife.

I love the theme, Bubbles! In fact if someone wonders where I am this afternoon I think it will be safe to say I am relaxing in a tub full of bubbles drinking champagne and blowing bubbles with my wand and my gum!

I think it will be a well deserved time out, it was an insanely busy week and we were out late last night. Yesterday was the Roswell Symphony Orchestras Concert with Opera Singers performing the concert version of La Traviata. I dutifully acted as a gopher before the show in my heels, running from front to back as needed to help out my husband. I snuck up to the balcony after we were done with ticket sales and was mesmerized by the culmination of all the hard work to put the show on. It really takes a group of professionals to show up on a Thursday, rehearse and have a show on Saturday. Ben played Tuba as well this performance and managed to take care of all the little details before and play. I was so proud, and didn't mind sitting by myself at all, of course as a musicians wife one gets used to that. Afterward, we enjoyed a lovely reception, that included chocolate and strawberries, my favorite! We hit the hay at his great aunts house since the 40 minute drive home was more than we wanted to do last night, although we had to be up and ready early to get to church this morning as we both were part of the music service. All in all I would rate it as one of the best if not busiest valentines day ever!

Thanks so much to Becca and The Gaelic's Wife for making it that much sweeter!

Who knows the plans he has for me?

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 15:37:00 +0000

I wasn't going to post about this because quite frankly it hurts still.

I already lost my awesome job. While out on our rounds on Monday and Tuesday, they lost a several hundred acres and I could tell it worried my new employer. She said it usually evens out, but on Friday she called and said the rest of the week hadn't produced any more and she was afraid that was going to have to be the end for now, it was too big of a hit for them to support having me on as well.

Of course I worry about what I did wrong. Logic tells me that I didn't do anything but still my mind can think of a billion stupid things.

This week I have had two friends in California laid off, and know the hits to their family is far worse than the hit mine is taking.

Of course the reality is that we have a money situation facing us that I know is going to put us in the hole if we have to rely on our current incomes. I really do need a job that is providing me with more work that subbing is right now.

So all weekend long in quiet moments I obsess about which not as ideal job as the last one should I apply for. This morning I literally wake up worrying and have knots in my stomach about what is coming up this week. I pray as I work in my garden, getting out some frustration, I tell God which job I think is best and why... wondering what will happen... how will we pay this bill now. I want answers about why this great opportunity was dangled in my face and so abruptly taken away.

I try to enter church on Sunday mornings with a clean heart and clean conscious. I think I need to read and pray before church today. As I open my bible Jeremiah, 29:11 comes to mind, I wonder why? I am only on chapter 2 of Jeremiah. So I look it up and remember making a graphic of this verse as a present for a friend.

I feel a peace come over me as I try to remember that while I may not be in control right now, someone far more powerful is, who has seen me through much much worse circumstances.

Then I was checking out Renee Swope's Blog, The Journey of my Heart, and it was dead on for me this weekend. Writing on Phillipians 4:5-7 she states "In the NIV translation, Verse 7 says, "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Oh that God's peace would transcend my need to understand! Sometimes that is my biggest problem, I can accept what God is doing if He'd just help me understand why He's doing it that way." Wow, that describes me to a T!

So I felt moved to share from place of hurt, because I am sure I am not the only one wondering why? What will I do now? What did I do wrong? I know trusting that I am in the right place doing the right thing is so very very hard when things don't go my way.

I also found this graphic I had made while looking for the one from Jeremiah. I really cannot think of a better conclusion than this, and marvel how when I asked for peace about this situation how many great examples I happened across this morning.

Randomness....

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:57:00 +0000

Heather from Ramblings of the Shy & Insecure, tagged me to write 6 random things about myself. Since I am in need of easy blog material and she is an 4-H buddy from back in the day, I have to comply. I have been learning so much about her, like the fact that she says she is shy, which is not how I would have described her growing up. It just goes to show how our perceptions about ourselves and others are not always reality.

1. Speaking of random perceptions of ourselves... I constantly worry about being too weird, except when I don't care how weird I am, and then I am obnoxious. I know someone else who does this and it annoys me about them at times, which is surprising, one would think I would be more sympathetic.

2. Today as we visited farms, there were at least two places we went that I knew the farmers kids growing up, I really wanted to ask about them but worried because in both cases I have heard they are pretty screwed up on drugs. I wonder what is more impolite, to act like I don't care, or be respectful and not bring up a possibly bad subject. Luckily I didn't actually see either farmer so it was a moot point today.

3. I have found out how out of shape I am the last two days. Turns out getting on my hands and knees digging around for bugs uses muscles that have lain dormant for far too long, I am really sore right now. Wii Fit should add a bug scouting workout section.

4. Blogging turned out to be beneficial to me last week. I subbed in a computer class at the junior high and the kids read a chapter of their manual on the computer and then had to practice html. They subject was numbered lists, bulleted lists and nested lists. While I didn't know how to do what they needed to do prior to the lesson, when they told me they were complete I was able to read their html script and see if they did it with html or by simply typing. The look of shock when I asked to see their code was great! They thought they were getting away with something, and I was able to help them do it right.

5. I am really missing my dishwasher lately, even though it has been nearly two years without it. I have one, but no room to put it in. Have I ever mention how much I bite at dishwashing, I still have to rewash things all the time. Aren't you looking forward to dinner at my house now?

6. Some errant blog I read for artsy crafty inspiration posted a link to this recipe that has me salivating. Luckily I am low on eggs or I might just try this from scratch. I have to remember I am trying to loose weight not apply it directly to my hips..... Anyone want to invite me over? I'll bring it, because if I am sharing then it is okay, right? And that leads me to....

Wednesday Weigh In Week 5 (I skipped week 4)

Starting weight December 29, 2008: 236 lbs.
Overall Goal weight: 140 lbs.
Weight last week: 230 lbs.
Weight today: 232lbs
Amount lost this week:0 lb +2

Time to get back on the wagon... good thing I got sore at work that means I am building muscle, right?

We are going on a bug hunt...

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 00:37:00 +0000

I have been very excited about starting a new job today. I am going to work Mondays an Tuesdays as a crop consultant. Which is looking for bugs, disease and weeds on farms and then making recommendations to farmers about what to use and when to do it. For those of you who are newer or may not recall, this is what my degree is in. While I have a ton of experience doing this work in ornamental plants, I have not spent as much time on farms, although I have some.

So while my new employer joked about going back to work so soon, they take off the months of December and January, I replied I was quite happy to be digging around alfalfa fields on my hands and knees looking for cutworms. It was a gorgeous day, it got up to the mid 70's and it was above freezing when we went to work. So while jackets were necessary for the wind, it wasn't too bad at all. However it was dry, holy cow is it dry right now. We have had no rain this winter and lots of wind.

My boys cannot wait to go to work with me. When you think about it, it really it is a dream job for a six year old and three year old boy.

I am going to be taking my license exam next week to be a pest consultant and will pick up certifications in both agronomic and ornamental plants so I can work with folks in town which is my next step. This job is really an answer to a prayer, it will be steady income and set days which will help me work on my own business on the side, and one or the other will grow into more.

Wednesday Weigh-In Week 3

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 19:37:00 +0000

What did I say last week about making sure I posted more often than Wednesday....

In all fairness I do have at least two open drafts about a sentence long, writers blook took me down when I had time to write, which wasn't very often.

After week 1 of tracking my food intake online, I am more aware and slightly appalled by my diet. I will keep using the tracker at the daily plate. (Anyone else using one? Do you like it? Why?)

Starting weight December 29, 2008: 236 lbs.
Overall Goal weight: 140 lbs.
Weight last week: 230 lbs.
Weight today: 230lbs
Amount lost this week:0 lb

Causes: I am not exactly sure, I did step up the cardio training a bit and feel my pants are looser so that seems good, maybe I gained a slight amount of muscle mass, it does weigh more than fat.
I am going to start tracking my measurements weekly to quantify if I am really getting smaller, rather than just relying on the weight number. Haven't decided to post that. Why? I don't know maybe you know enough about me.... Those that do, do you think it helps? Although I suppose if I get lost, my husband can read my blog and give a great description of me...

Excercise Goal: Aerobic exercise three times a week (full half hour), Strenghth/Yoga three times a week (at least 15 minutes.)

Food Goal: More veggies and fruits, lean meats. Main goal is to not count my exercise against my daily caloric intake. (Ie. subtracting calories for exercising and seeing if that helps me reach my 2 pound loss this week.)

Blogging goal: A tour of my town... and maybe a post about this weeks current events. One one Friday and one on Monday.

Now I am off to study and clean...

Wednesday Weigh In Week Two

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 14:57:00 +0000

I feel the need to remind myself not to let this blog only be about the weigh in. I really intended to get a post up earlier in the week. So maybe I should have started that on Friday or Saturday...

This weeks Weigh in Results....

Starting weight December 29, 2008: 236 lbs.
Overall Goal weight: 140 lbs.
Weight last week: 231 lbs.
Weight today: 230lbs
Amount lost this week: 1 lb

Interesting thing about the single pound loss. Since I am using the Wii Fit as my weigh in tool and it encourages you to weigh in every day, I had a spike on Sunday where I showed a weight gain of 3.3 pounds. While I know a persons weight can fluctuate a couple of pounds during the course of a day, that is still high. Truth be told, I think it was the greasy hamburger I had for lunch on Friday, then the Pizza Buffett later on that evening and Saturday was really no better. We had Mexican for lunch and I don't recall what for dinner, but it probably wasn't healthy.

I know for some people weighing themselves every day and watching that spike go up might cause them to give up. Quite honestly a few years ago that might have been the case with me. However I think for me at this point in my life seeing a real time translation of what happens when I don't make the best food choices is a positive thing. Knowing I need to step up the exercise at that point, and kidding myself that my choices weren't really that bad won't fly anymore.

So to that end, while I haven't obviously been restricting my food intake, I was trying to keep a running total in my head of how many calories I have been ingesting. Monday while wondering just how many calories were in that sandwich at Subway, I decided to google it and found a nice tracking tool. It is called the Daily Plate and while at this point I am not necessarily making huge diet changes, I can know just how many calories I ate. So my goal this week is to keep exercising, track my food every day and then next week I will make some meal adjustments.

Wii are Unbalanced and Exercising

noreply@blogger.com (White Hot Magik) — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 14:56:00 +0000

I think I mentioned that Santa left me a Wii Fit for Christmas. Some might want to slap Santa at the presumption of giving that kind of gift. Just for the record, I told Santa I couldn't decide which I wanted more the Wii Fit or Guitar Hero. Seeing how Santa is a professional musician, who does play bass, I thought I had a better chance of winning on Wii Fit.

What I didn't realize was the the balance board not only lets you snowboard, but it also weighs you. I know, kinda sucks the fun right out of a present, doesn't it. Especially when after entering my info it informs me my BMI is 1 gabillion. Yes that is a real number, I think. Okay let's face it I knew my weight was an issue, I wasn't surprised when the balance board informed me I was obese and transformed my Mii from a skinny likeness of me to an almost mirror image where my belly was hanging out of my shirt. Isn't the point of a video game to escape reality?

Undaunted I continued on and was given my first Wii Fit Age, 48 a mere 13 years older than my actual age. Ouch. Then I played my first game. I went for the Balance games thinking they would be easy. After several attempts to head soccer balls I was told I was unbalanced. Who me? How did it know? I thought I hid it well.

All joking aside, I had already decided that I had to get serious about getting some more exercises and losing weight, before Christmas. I didn't research the Wii Fit as an exercise tool, and when someone wondered why in the world one would need a game to do yoga, I had no answer. However after playing with it for a couple of weeks this is my review so far.

Likes:

I am having fun.

It tracks your exercise, weight and graphs it. You can even add time spent on exercised not done on the Wii Fit.

I am competitive so getting keeping the high score is important to me and it motivates me.

Unlike going to a class, I can do it when I have time and don't have to worry about my appearance. However it can be played in a group so, I can take my board and go play somewhere else.

Since it measures how much pressure you are putting on your feet or hands, I feel as though I am possibly doing the exercise right, unlike when watching a video.

You have to play to keep unlocking more exercises or games.

I actually worked up a sweat doing the aerobic games.

It had me set a goal weight and it told me I had too much too soon, and gave me sugestions about resetting it to something healthier.

Dislikes:

Right now the only thing that I really don't like is that I would like to program a set of exercises and move through them without stopping to punch the buttons. Maybe there is a way to do that I just haven't found yet.

Reality:

Right now I am in the heady days of playing with a new toy, will it be a tool I use long term? Or will it join the guitar in my closet? Who knows, I hope to keep with it, to that end I am going to make myself accountable here as well. I am going to start participating in Blog to Fit as an additional motivational tool.
I haven't made any major diet changes except to measure out what I am eating and be aware of appropriate portion size.

So here goes it internets.... I hate to do this, I am totally going to close my eyes when I hit the publish button.

Starting Weight 12/29/08 236 lb

Last week: 234 lb

This week: 231 lb

Pounds lost (or gained): 5 total 3 this week

How many pounds left to lose: 15 for my current goal on Wii Fit but I would like to get down to 160.